The Czech Republic

Well you know Big Tobacco would do anything to get obesity in #1. Reminds me of a joke. A guy is having a nasty case of hemorrhoids, and sees his doctor. Doctor prescribes some suppositories, says to take one a day for a week and call him back. Guy comes back, says his hemmorhoids are even worse. Doctor is puzzled, he checks it out, and the guy was right. Doctor says to take two suppositories a day for this week and come back in a week. Once again, the case gets even worse. Doctor looks at the patient and says "what the hell are you doing with these, eating them?" The guys says "Well what do you THINK I'm doing, sticking them up my ass?"

Congratulations! Suburban Chicago is a great place. It has been getting more expensive in the northwest suburbs like Schaumburg and Arlington Heights (which was my hometown for many years) as a result of suburban renewal projects that have been making that area much nicer. However, in contrast to California, real estate in the Midwest, though escalating, is more reasonable. (Barring the North Shore, but we won't talk about those New Trier types. Ant knows what I mean.) Woodfield and the Oakbrook Centre are the two best malls, indoor and outdoor, respectively. There's also Old Orchard which is like Oakbrook with more yarmulkes, and Hawthorn, but that's been on the decline in recent years. Traffic is a bitch. I know you're not from a small town by any means and are probably used to things being busy, but trust me--traffic is a bitch. It's funny: I live right on the state line in Wisconsin now (but am heading back after graduation) and get Chicago and Milwaukee stations, and I laugh when the traffic reporters piss and moan about a five-minute delay on I-43 whilst our friends at WGN are telling me that it's 65 minutes from O'Hare to somewhere really not far from O'Hare. Luckily, we name all our tollways (sorry) and expressways so that you can specifically curse the Dan Ryan, Kennedy, Eisenhower, and Tri-State, rather than referring to numbers. There's also the Edens, Stevenson, North-South, East-West, Calumet, Chicago Skyway, and Kingery, but they're secondary to the others. Food is great here. Steak n Shake has many outlets here, Portillo's is a staple of suburban Chicago, Luke's is great, and Culver's is slowly creeping south from Wisconsin...and that's just fast food. There are excellent restaurants all through Chicago, which is to be expected. I don't know much about the local music and nightclub scene right now, so I can't help you there though. If you plan on being near Aurora, that should be reasonable. I haven't been there too recently, but I know that nearby Naperville and Oswego have been growly rapidly as of late. I'm a northwest suburbs guy myself. Basically you have the middle-class northwest, countrified north, obscenely rich North Shore, working-class south, and hodge-podge west. As for weather, it is crazy, yes. Example: yesterday it was clear and 55 degrees. Today it snowed. You get used to it and learn to appreciate a blue sky and warm temperature when it comes around, and you learn to appreciate a good snowfall around Christmastime with the crapshoot that is Midwestern weather. Just hope you don't get shoveling duty. If you ahve any more questions, e-mail or AIM me and I'll be glad to help you out.

Evidently Al Franken's voice = $$. This is news to me.

"What if the Nordiques didn't move?" is an interesting question. I know that there would've been a Colorado Avalanche eventually, but it wouldn't be the power that it is (was?) now.

This is not fair to Bertuzzi. Granted, what he did was wrong. But shame on Granato and the Avalanche for putting Steve Moore on the ice with men who are out for revenge, in a game in which the outcome is not in question. OF COURSE somebody is going to figure the time is ripe to get retribution for what Moore did to Naslund, and Bertuzzi was the one who took the job. Moore and Granato made their beds on this one. I say keep him out of the rest of the regular season but by all means bring him back for the playoffs. If Colorado and Vancouver meet somewhere in the postseason, I don't think we're done with injuries.

As somebody who doesn't believe in taking medication, this is so wrong on so many levels.

If we count Syd Barrett's figurative mental death, Pink Floyd by leaps and bounds.

How much would this forum cost if it was meat weighed by the pound?

Like Arn Anderson says, send one of ours to the hospital and we'll send one of yours to the morgue, I guess.

Italian Beef Has a real zing and tastes great on a sandwich. Italian Stallion Comes off as tough but he's an ol' softy on the inside.

DFA and TRITEC, ya crazy Utahns: Go drown in some fry sauce and baptize Strom Thurmond. j./k!

If so...it doesn't even have the word DOLLAR on it, you stupid woman! Jesus, why don't you just get out a fake bill that says "A lot."

Why has Moore gotten away with injuring Naslund? That's the question. Two wrongs DO make a right and therefore Bertuzzi should be dressed for the first round.

THE JERICHOHOLIC NINJA IS NOT A MYTH!

and I thought it was Jesse Jackson!

I must ask. Whose face was on the front? "Um...all the Presidents. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch."

That was so great.

Try going to the northern, cooler part of Illinois, Matt. I'm sure you can find something around Chicago.

Yeah, I have my doubts about dumping Salo from the Oilers. But hey, Kevin Lowe said he wasn't raising the white flag and was going to push like crazy from here to the end to get that #8 spot, and I'll believe Kevin Lowe. I'm pulling for the Oilers to get it because I don't really like the LA Kings nor Predators, and hopefully all six Canadian teams can make it in.

I was inspired by Justin "The Hawk" Bradshaw to brand myself, back in '96. My friends and I followed his trends from there onward. We branded ourselves with Magic marker, painted Satanic symbols on our chests, and now we drink beers and fuck each other up the ass.

Anyone else see Montreal overtaking New Jersey by season's end?

Asshole for what he did with all the affairs regarding his father, but 35 is awfully young to die. Cause?

I was wondering about the viewing habits of the TSM community and how they've changed over the tenure of this forum. I know that when I first started up, I was intensely following WWF and posted there more than anywhere else, by far. But as I've found myself watching less wrestling, my tendencies have shifted more towards current events, sports, music, GC, HD, and LSD. I hardly go to the secondary wrestling folders at all. So if you want to share what you used to do and what you do now, that could be interesting. Thanks a million.

I think there should be a late-night ECW Classics on Spike six nights a week. You want male television? Classic ECW.

Take a can of thawed frozen oj, a cup of milk, a cup of water, a cup of goat's blood, 1/3-1/4th cup sugar, 1 tsp. of vanilla, about two cups of ice, blend on a med-high setting for about half a minute. I'm fresh out of goat's blood. Can I substitute Worcestershire sauce for it?