kkktookmybabyaway

I don't know where any of those schools are located. Sorry.

This is the first time I remember seeing your avatar, and you've been here almost as long as me. You must frequent the wrestling folders.

I had a pic of South Park's Saddam Hussein for a week or two before switching to Mumia. My subject line was also "Jesse Jackson's other bastard lovechild," so that dates when I started using avatar images. Soon thereafter "Fry Mumia" was born. It was kind of weird the few times I changed pictures because of some lame April Fools' Day gag and receiving such an overwhelming backlash over it. By overwhelming I'm talking about two, maybe three, people. Then there are those who change their picture, subject line and handle name every other week; half the time I'm trying to figure out who's who at this place. Damn kids. I guess I'll go with Treble's avatar as being the most established, even though I still have no idea what it is.

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 97: Reservior Kitty The next poster on my list is really the cat’s meow – oh fuck you all, I’ve said worse. I really had no idea who Reservior Kitty was until Eddie Guerrero died, which I’m not sure if you, the TSM poster, were aware about in regards to his passing, especially if you get your Internet wrestling news from this place. I get that Eddie was a popular wrestler and all, but let’s just say that some people, well, overreacted a bit with his passing; jokes such as “The room is spinning,” “here comes the vomit” and “My whole family was depressed” were born from this unfortunate event. Oddly enough, when the news came out that Eddie died, I chose to keep my sarcastic mouth shut because a lot of people really did treat Eddie like a family member and I don’t want anyone cracking jokes at Paul Harvey (my Eddie Guerrero) when he finally goes to that big newsroom in the sky. However, I then saw a thread in the Music folder titled Songs that will make you think of Eddie Guerrero. I couldn’t take it anymore. A few of us decided to branch out and find out what other things made us thing of Eddie Guerrero, such as movies, pornography, books, and video games. Why do I mention all this? Because Mrs. Kitty was so kind as to take command of the computers and technology division, earning her a place on my list no matter what commie drivel she may think (and I’m sure she does since she personally knows Tyler). Also, I’m hoping that maybe by honoring her she’ll PM me some pics of her naughty bits or something. I guess it really is true that death can bring people closer together. • They say the cool thing about baseball is that you never know what could happen each time you go to the ballpark, and that is true. Last night the Pirates played an 18-inning game against the Astros and won, thanks in part to a wild pitch that was thrown while the Astros were intentionally walking a batter. But here’s the kicker: apparently, this game should not have gone into extra innings. Earlier in the contest there was a play at the plate where the Pirates catches touched a runner with his glove, but he was holding the ball with his other hand. The hometown announcers said that should not have counted as an out, and since I don’t know the official rule on tagging someone I’ll just assume they’re correct. I generally try to stay for any event I pay to attend, whether it is a movie or sporting event. There are a few exceptions. For example, if I invite someone to go to an event and they wish to leave a bit early, I’ll honor their request. But if it is up to me I wait until the final out is played or the ending credits roll. The only time I left a sporting event early was in 1990 during a Pirates/Dodgers game. For the first eight-and-a-half innings the Dodgers were getting the best of the Pirates and built up a hefty lead (something like 6-0) To make matters worse, the weather was awful, and there were several rain delays. I was at this game with a friend and my mom, and we all agreed to leave early and avoid the post-game traffic. We left at the top of the ninth, and by the time we made it to the car the Pirates were at bat. I remember being in a McDonald’s drive-thru when the Pirates scored the game-winning run and swore to myself right then and there that I would never leave another game early. A few years later I was at another ball game with my half-brother and a few other people. This time the Pirates were down by a handful of runs and played like shit for eight-and-a-half innings. While most people in the group were talking about leaving early, I suggested that we stick around; sure enough, the Pirates once again overcame a 5-6 run deficit and ended up winning the game. It was like déjà vu all over again.

He played for 11 seasons? Dang. Peace out, dawg.

Everyone gets into Pitt. Hell, even I could get in there.

909, wait until I tell some stories about the crack-whore sister-in-law. Thankfully she hasn't received disability (yet), although she's trying every trick in the book to do so. It's funny because the better half, although socially conservative for the most part her whole life even before she became a registered Republican, had a soft spot for people hard on their luck and in need of public assistance. Then she learned what her crack-whore sister and aunt were doing to cheat the system, along with a good number of crazy people she has to deal with in her profession (clinical psychology). Now she's more right-wing than me, which frankly scares the shit out of me at times. Oh, and Hawk, there's a reason I don't discuss my side of the family; I disowned them a long time ago.

I hate Memorial Day weekend. Is it because I’m an anti-war commie that despises the imperialist machine and its march over the innocents of the world? Not quite. Memorial Day weekend brings about an annual event that takes place in my (red)neck of the woods. What is it you ask? The kkk in-law white trash gathering. God I hate this “family” get-together. Basically, the better half has this aunt who organizes a cookout at her house every year, and the cretins from Mrs. kkk’s side of the family make their way down. Fuck I hate going to this thing. Aside from the crack-whore sister-in-law and her out-of-control daughter, the better half’s immediate family is normal, or at least as normal as you can get. The rest of the family tree however, well … *shudder.* This aunt whose residence we have to go to is a welfare bum who is too fat and lazy to get a real job. And the only reason she gets as much welfare as she does is because there’s another aunt there who has had one foot in the grave for the last 10 years. When she goes, so does the house; I heard that the government has some sort of “lean” on the house where once this woman dies the other aunt will have to either pay off debt that the property has accumulated over the years, or she will have to hand everything over to the State. Sadly, the healthy aunt managed to attend my wedding last June, which pissed me off because I wanted her not to show up, thus giving me a free pass from this abortion of a cookout for the rest of my life. I shouldn’t be so negative though, because the better half’s one cousin and her troll family won’t be in attendance. She is a real winner in life. Back when she was 18 or so she lived at this soon-to-be-taken-over house with the two aunts. Then the man of her dreams came into her life – the handyman who the aunts hired to do some occasional housework. Was this guy a strapping young lad? No. He was a late forty-something, toothless, obese Mexican with a really bad comb-over. Not only that but he already had several kids from a previous marriage he did nothing for in regards to child support. Oh, and he made his living as a part-time janitor. Well these two kids fell madly in love and soon thereafter they tried bringing in even more children into this crazy world. There was one problem. Nature, apparently, had enough of this guy reproducing and made him sterile. That didn’t stop these two – the chick got artificially inseminated; not once, but twice. How are they supporting this family? With food stamps, welfare and just about every other public assistance program out there. After all, having the income of a part-time janitor to support a family of four isn’t what it used to be, thanks to this Bush economy. But yet somehow, someway, they managed to buy a house. Granted I’m sure it’s probably a shit hole, but it’s a house nevertheless. I love this country. The reason this test-tube family won’t be gracing the rest of the white trash with their presence is because this cookout has been traditionally held on Memorial Day, but this year it’s being held on the day before. This is because someone in this clan who has an EMT job (or something like that) is going to be “on call” Monday and wouldn’t have been able to attend the cookout had it been held on May 29. Instead, the test-tube family is going to be spending the day at some local amusement park as a form of "protest" – I hope this place accepts food stamps or else there are going to be some hungry kids. I do have some pleasant memories of this odd couple. A few years ago when we moved back to Pennsylvania, the better half invited them over to our previous residence. I don’t know why she did this, but whatever. Anyway, the Mexican began roughhousing our cats, which annoyed me, but I figured this would teach JJ a lesson the next time he decides to approach a dirty Mexican and sniff his shoe. However, this guy then picked up our one cat Shadow, who passed away in ’04. We got Shadow as a stray, and he always had a bit of a wild streak in him. I warned his handler that if Shadow didn’t want to be held he’d scratch and bite. My warnings went unheeded. A few seconds later, Shadow proceeded to claw the ever-loving shit out of him, drawing blood in a number of places. As Shadow was tossed back down, Mr. Sterile glanced over at me with a look of shock and outrage. I was doing everything I could to keep from laughing. That will do, cat. That will do.

No Duquesne, eh?

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 98: MD2020 Nothing really special to say about MD2020; he seemed like a nice enough chap when he was here. He took part in my hippie football pick ‘em contest a year or so ago, he hated Mumia and Commies, and he liked kittens. At least he better like our four-legged friends. • The Cleveland Cavaliers may be out of the postseason, and I don’t know what the local reaction is to the team’s near-upset of the Detroit Pistons. However I hope it’s not one of “Good job, guys.” It’s true that the Cavaliers weren’t expected to do anything beyond the first round of the playoffs, but when you are the underdog and have the opportunity to eliminate your opponent with a home game, you better take advantage of it. It’s great that Lebron James took his team to the brink of the Eastern Conference Finals, but you’re in the playoffs to win it all. Even if you are an eighth seed, you have to go into the playoffs with the mindset that you can win it all. Sure most high-seeded NBA teams beat their opening-round opponent, but these teams still need to enter these match-ups with the mindset of they can pull off the impossible. When these teams do get eliminated in the first round, then they can say, “Well, it was a nice run.” But once you get past that first round, it’s anybody’s game as far as I’m concerned. I remember back during the 1994-’95 NBA playoffs, the Denver Nuggets shocked the top-seeded Seattle Supersonics in the first round. The Nuggets then went on to take the heavily favored Utah Jazz to seven games before eventually losing. The head coach at the time, Dan Issel, stressed to his players that even though they overachieved, they should still feel the hurt of losing a second round playoff match-up in seven games. He was right, because the next year the Nuggets, once again an eighth seed, got swept by the San Antonio Spurs in the first round; the year after that they failed to even reach the postseason. • John McCain got heckled during some hippie commencement address last weekend. I think what really caught him off-guard is that the hecklers didn’t do the heckling 60 days before his speech. Also, when I think of media figures who are "fueling the problem" of illegal immigrants, grouping Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Lou Dobbs(?) seems like an odd trio. Well, McCain silenced opposing voices 60 days before an election, so I guess that the fairness doctrine v 2.0 could be on the horizon, even with Republicans in power. • A while back I ragged on some judge from Vermont who gave a light sentence for someone that repeatedly raped a kid for years. Just to show I’m not biased against liberal New Englanders, here’s a red diaper doper baby from a red state:

That's a nice ... belt. Yeah, belt. The funny thing about "conservative oppression" is that while there are those Jesus groups, most of the time the mainstream just ignores them. The Tippers of the world are much worse. I remember seeing a clip from Steven Tyler accepting some award and thanking Tipper for making naughty albums post "explicit" warnings. He said that becuse of the label they were going to sell even more albums.

Yeah, some banks here do that with Debit cards. I don't use them, but I've seen signs on pumps talking about this. I don't know how often this is done, but there's a bank in Ohio that charges a fee every time you use your debit card.

This was Crono? Sonofabitch.

Seems easier just to use a credit card -- mine gives me 5 percent cash back with a fuel purchase.

Christ. It looks like Alexa is one of the more oppressed teens on this show. From TSM's favorite columnist Brent Bozell:

In this one case you will hear me say ... Fuck the PO-lice.

For those that gas up and take off, I hope their vehicle combusts and they die a painful, fiery death. When I worked at the Quickie Mart we had drive-offs when gas was $1.06/gallon; I can't begin to imagine what it must be like now. However, even back then during the third shift many stations had a "prepay" requirement; any station that doesn't have this policy now deserves to be ripped off. One reason some places which still don't require pre-pay do this to encourage more business inside the store (which is where the stores make their money), but then management gets all pissed off when their cashiers can't chase down on foot every vehicle that bails out on paying.

That's f'n scary. I don't fault the parents for spending their disposable income on lavish things like a "quince" celebration; I fault them for turning their spawn into little cretins, though. I can't remember what I did on my 16th, although I'm sure it was nothing. My 21st was a fizzle because a group of us had planned a trip to D.C. (not due to my b-day -- it just happened to be during this time) on that weekend and it fell through at the last second because of some b.s. C'est la vie. There's nothing much of note when you hit a quarter-century, either. My next big one is four-and-a-half years from now when I can officially run for President.

Oh I have to know: Is Alexa one of the less or more spoiled kids on this show? And what the hell happened to the MTV I grew up with?

And nobody wants that.

For you? This will be fun for EVERYBODY.

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 99: Jessie Ewiak I have stopped going into the CE folder (or whatever it’s being called nowadays) for quite a while, which is a shame because for the longest time it was by far the most entertaining place for discussion and debate. Did I just say “discussion and debate”? What I meant to say was that for the longest time the CE folder was by far the most entertaining place for name-calling, flame-baiting and overall juvenile behavior. While there were many people (like me) who limited most of their posts to a smart-ass (and often unfunny) remark or two per post, there were some who tried to do more. One of these people was Jessie Ewiak, and surprisingly he was a favorite of mine. When he wasn’t explaining to members of the Conservative Brigade why the polls favored Kerry over Bush in ’04, he was wanking to one of the few elections Democrats did manage win that year. Also, when it came to talking about the Swift Boat Vets and the *coughallegedcough* cBS forged memos about Bush’s National Guard Service, Jessie was blog-tastic. In fact, the one thing I don’t like about Jessie is that he didn’t post more, because I really did enjoy reading his take on a variety of issues, even if I didn’t agree with them. So in the spirit of bipartisanship, even though I wish that all of the people Jessie votes for in the ’06 elections lose, I want them to lose by really small vote margins. Sadly, with the two of us living in Pennsylvania (him up in Erie, me down in Shittsburgh), I’m afraid that there will be quite a few people on his ballot taking congratulatory phone calls from political opponents later this year. And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From SFA Jack: • So last night I was watching the Hurricanes/Sabers game and they just ended the first period. With the Suns/Mavericks game yet to begin I decided to do some channel surfing, which is what any guy would do given the circumstances. So there I was flipping away when I came across MTV and this “Sweet 16” show. Wondering what the hell this was I put the remote down, which was my first mistake. I’ve never heard of this show before, but apparently it’s about spoiled brats and what they do for their 16th birthday. This episode focused on a chick named Alexa and her getting ready for the big day. The show started out with her giving away invitations right outside her house with a staff of security guards trying to keep the crowd of (she estimated) 400 in order. Once the invitations were given out, tragedy struck. Her boyfriend, Manny, broke up with her. It only got worse from there. To celebrate her becoming a woman, the family was going to rent out a hotel reception hall and decorate it in a Arabian motif, complete with belly dancers and snake charmers. However, there was a problem: Her mother didn’t like the centerpieces Alexa picked out. Then later on when she went out by the beach to take some glamour shots, the wind picked up, discombobulating the angel wings that were set up on her back. This hardship was so trying that she began crying over this. But all this paled to what happened later, when it was time for her to go car shopping with her dad. She picked this automobile and wanted it right then and there. Daddy, though, didn’t oblige because he was playing the negotiating game with the salesman over the $41,000 price tag. This brought on another wave of tears. When it came time for the big day, Alexa was in for a rude awakening. Her mother purchased the centerpieces that she liked, not the ones Alexa preferred. To add insult to injury, Louis the Event Planner didn’t have time to replace them, so Alexa had to deal with these monstrosities that cost $3,000 less than the centerpieces she wanted. Note I didn’t say they cost $3,000 – they cost $3,000 LESS. All throughout the preparation process, Alexa kept saying how she wanted to impress her ex-boyfriend, who was in attendance, and on her big day everything was going wrong, leaving Manny unimpressed. But then it all turned around for our little Alexa. Dressed as a belly dancer, she gyrated in front of a packed audience, showing Manny what he was missing. When it was all said and done, Manny had a change of heart and said to her, “I wouldn’t mind getting back with you.” Oh but the laugh was on him, because Alexa said that she no longer wanted to be with him. You go girl. Then her father took Alexa outside to show her the car he bought – the same vehicle that she cried about not getting earlier in the episode. As if that wasn’t enough, her dad also got her a diamond-encrusted Rolex watch, to which she said, as her dad gave it to her, “Fuck the car, dude, check out my watch.” Manny, still heartbroken after being rejected by Alexa just minutes ago, said on camera, “”I could have been driving that car.” Oh by the way, this wasn’t really Alexa’s 16th birthday; it was her 15th. God only knows what’s going to happen when she turns 21. And I will never watch this show again, partly because I don’t want to know if Alexa is one of the more or less extreme cases of this show.

Damnit, they're still around?

Haven't seen anything of Season 2 yet. And reporters do change "positions." Some become columnists. Others become editors. Some turn to PR representatives or work in a different media (radio, TV, etc.). So, yeah, Grif., the two angry guys can change their job, however, they'll probably get replaced beforehand. Is this the morning show on that station with (not sure if he's around) Lance McCallister?

As someone who also has message board ADD, I don't notice your bouts as much as Carnival does. And unlike you, nothing goes through my head as my fingers frantically type, which I'm sure is a surprise to many.