The Amazing Rando

*Late one night in the Nitro house* Nitro: Oooh, baby gimme some of... ... ...WHO THE FUCK BLURRED OUT YOUR ASS?!

"One...Two...Three...Four...GET OUT OF THE ROPES!" *signs* "What?" *signs* "You can't DQ me just cause of my handicap!"

baseball game on in my area...blah.

This is like Zach Gowen 2.....cause they sure are cutting his legs off from the get-go.

Something like that... though the Disneyland one is tops for me, as well.

In some circles, the above quote could actually be racist. I'm insterested to know if this is the case, as it seems odd that it would be put with nothing else. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> BOGGLE. Hey, I did some google searching and I can't for the life of me figure out how this will turn out to be racist. Fill us in! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well... in some places the term "gorilla" is a ethnic slur towards blacks, or any sort of allusion to monkeys, apes, gorillas or the like. So when the Boogeyman, a black guy, would injure someone doing a "gorilla press slam", i laughed....not cause i'm racist, but because it's one of those "shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments" sort of things.

It sorta makes sense you would hear a ton of Journey in San Fran, although i'm surprised it wasn't "Lights". Thanks to XM, I heard Phish's "Wading In A Velvet Sea" for the first time since about 2000. Thanks to my friends CD collection, I listened to Steve Winwood's "Higher Love" for no reason at all a few days ago.

...having never seen CM Punk wrestle... i'll say... holy shit that was cool. Eddie pulling him from the ground with his hands on the ropes and having him backflip to his feet (basically) was awesome. I don't think I've ever seen that before.

Kane: I can't read. JR: BAH GAWD, HE SUCKS LITERALLY!

Yikes.

It's down for me as well. COULD THE BIG NEWS HAVE KILLED THE SITE?! ....no.

*cough* ...FOR WHAT?! *huffs*

NEW NOTES BELOW. CHECK THEM. THEY MIGHT CLEAR UP CONFUSION. Smarks Board Name: The Amazing Rando Wrestlers Name: Devon Walters Nicknames: None, but who knows what someone could come up with. Height: 7’3” Weight: 335 lbs. Hometown: None. See bio. Age: 32 Face/Heel: The Epitome of Tweener. See bio. Ring Escort: Matthew Walters. See below. Weapon(s): Anything, but only when necessary. See bio. Quote: “If you don’t like it…well, that’s karma.” Looks: Devon Walters is a giant, and comes to the ring in simple leg-length tights. Usually black. He does not where leather (see bio) and his cold black hair hangs behind his head in a ponytail. He rarely has a smile or a frown, and is mostly stoic. His walk is determined and demanding, yet peaceful. He wears simple non-leather boots. Ring Entrance: The lights dim to near darkness and a lone spotlight strikes the stage as Matthew Walters appears from behind the curtain and Devon follows behind. No music plays at all as the duo walks to the ring, only the sounds of the crowd and Funyon can be heard...(and the announcers for those watching at home ) “Ladies and Gentlemen…coming to the ring at this time…being accompanied by Matthew Walters…weighing in at three hundred and thirty five pounds…. DEVON WALTERS!” The expressions on the faces of the two men don’t change as Devon climbs the ring steps and enters the ring while Matthew takes his place at the same corner, his eyes always on his younger brother. Devon takes a stance either facing the opponent or the entrance, depending on when he comes to the ring. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 8 - He can throw people around, especially those under 275. Speed: 3 - Ever see Nash pre-knee surgeries? Can show bursts of speed at times, but is mainly slow and determined in his movements. The more he feels he is gaining the advantage, the faster he seems to move. Vitality: 7 - Can take quite the beating and does not go down easily because of his training and his ideals. Charisma: 2 - Usually his brother talks for him, but Devon can say a few words here and there. Sometimes likes to talk toward his opponent, brother, referee, etc during matches. Style: Devon’s style starts out from the moment the bell rings. If Devon has reason to attack first, he will, usually stemming from some sort of provocation (see bio). If not, he will wait until his opponent attacks before he returns fire. Heavy fire. Devon can be somewhat reluctant with his movements and will not always go for the most obvious move in a situation, which can sometimes lead to mistakes on his part. If things really start to falter for him, he may go to his older brother for advice. Usually his brother’s advice works, but going to him can lead to other problems, such as blindside attacks. Should such a thing occur, well, that’s where the karma can kick in (see bio). Devon is a powerhouse wrestler, but will never collar-and-elbow tie up. He would rather come at you with punches, forearms, chops, or any other form of hard strike than to try and out wrestle someone, especially when you get into the more technical guys of the WF. Devon is not a mat worker, but is capable of generic sleeper holds and various wristlocks. That’s about it. Mostly it’s all about pounding the living daylights out of people. Signature moves: Moksha Breaker I – Suplex-to-Gut Buster. Moksha Breaker II – Reverse Suplex-to-Shoulder Breaker Intervention I (known usually without the “I” …see rare moves) – Devon will throw an opponent into the corner and then follow in, pounding the shit out of the opponent Vader-style until the referee tells him to back away. Usually the victim will stumble out of the corner and possibly into either Moksha Breaker variant. Payback – After throwing an opponent to the ropes, Devon will catch them ala a 3D set-up and carry them toward the corner, dropping them face-first into the buckle with a stun gun. Consequence – Deadly Yakuza Kick. Can finish matches rarely or gain pinfalls in longer multi-fall matches. The Call of Kali – Devon will let out an oddly primal scream before throwing an opponent over his head with a dragon suplex. Can bridge into pin, but usually it is released (like 90% of the time) The Conversion – Slingshot Suplex-into-Hard Sitout Bodyslam. “Out of Luck” – Devon’s only submission move, the Canadian Backbreaker. Almost a rare move, though it can prove to be someone’s downfall if the situation is right. Bliss – The Jackhammer. Not Goldberg powerful, actually, but it is very possible it could score a pinfall similar to the Consequence. Done on the outside or onto a weapon, and it is more apt to end the match. Nirvana – The Clothesline From Hell. If the Yakuza won’t do it, maybe this will. A sadistic clothesline that can be hit from almost out of nowhere. Similar to Bliss and Consequence with it’s pinfall chances. Left Hanging – not so much a move with an actual name, but to teach an opponent a lesson Devon will catch them off the ropes similar to the Payback, but will instead fall forward and dump them over the top rope, catching them by wrapping his arms around their ankles and holding them there , causing their bodies to bend at the knees and hang over the top rope and dangle toward the floor. Since the move is technically in the ropes, he should be required to break it, but the break would send the opponent crashing down head-first to the floor. After a few moments, Devon will simply pull the opponent’s body back over the top rope and then pull back HARD from the ropes, causing the back of the opponent’s head to strike the canvas as he slams them down. Note: The grip Devon has on this hold makes it nearly impossible for the opponent to pull himself back up, and he would probably drag them back into the ring for the throw down before they even had a chance to get up. Common moves: One Handed Choke Throw Back To Corner or Ropes Reverse Suplex HARD Right Hands Flying Taker-style Lariat Knee To The Face (in any situation) Backdrop Suplex Backbreaker DDTs (specialty DDT is the catch-off-the-ropes variation) Lifting STO Spinebuster Curb Stomp (if the situation calls for it) Brainbuster Two Handed Choke Toss (usually out of a corner) European Uppercuts Powerslam Elbow To The Face (in any situation) Powerful Kicks Rare moves: Deva’s Fire – Devon will lift the opponent into a military press position, except with his right hand around their throat. He will then throw the lower body over and swing the body around into a chokeslam on the opponent. Usually when throwing the lower body it causes a great downswing into the final slam. Intervention II – Same as Intervention I but instead of going into the Moksha Breaker, Devon will lift the opponent up into a powerbomb and then throw them VICIOUSLY into the turnbuckle back-first. This can cause serious injury. Finishers: Karma – The F5. Please try not to kick out of this move, as the karma thing goes with everything the character believes in. He feels that if this is hit it’s over, and does it more as an affirmation than as a finale, unless the situation calls for him to deliver some extra justice on the way to a victory or balance. If you want to kick out of something, use one of the lesser powered sig moves listed above. There are enough of them that I think it could create decent drama for any TV match. If it’s PPV…PM me first. Enlightenment – Fisherman’s Driver. Devon hooks into a fisherman’s suplex but lifts and falls down into a piledriver. Can also jump with this move if needed. Notes: I spoke before about ethic, and here it is. Devon Walters and his brother are both converted hinduists. Though American, they were converted to hindu while in prison (see bio). As I said, Devon will NOT attack first unless he feels provoked by an earlier situation. This is KARMA, and is what Devon has come to the SWF to keep in balance. This is why he is a tweener. He will mess with nearly anyone that crosses his path and disrupts the balance of karma. He will not go crazy if you eat meat or wear leather in front of him unless you use it as a manner of putting him down or joking on him. That is when you have done something wrong and must be dealt with accordingly. He is not preachy, only just and fair. If you do something to warrant a beating, he will give you one. NEW: Both Devon and Matthew are...not exactly the best representatives of the hindu religion or it's practices. They have their heart in the right place, but neither quite pulls it off. Devon wants to wrestle, and deep down wants to win, and won't settle on just walking out when things are just fine and dandy in karma land. He is a giant, and he knows it. He knows what he is capable of and uses it to his full advantage. Matthew, on the other hand, is just a prick. He uses the teachings he learned in jail as a crutch for the actions of him and his brother, even though he really doesn't mean to. He gets violent or extremely vocal toward people and then claims that unprovoked violence is wrong. He is a hypocrite of high order, though again, it's not like he's TRYING to be a hypocrite. He feels what he is doing is what his teachings tell him to do, and though most times they aren't even close to the correct actions - they feel that they are doing what is right. As far as what Godrea said about the "time limit draw" match idea...Matthew would eventually urge his brother to attack, and then try and justify it after the fact. Maybe even through brotherly harm. (i.e. Devon attacks first, thereby being the provokee, and thus Matthew must attack him afterwards to keep the balance in his twisted head). Remember, they are both convicted of drunken assualt, and so while their hearts may be in exactly the right place, their brains...and their actions...don't always create the most perfect karmic scenarios. Bio: Almost fifteen years ago, Devon and Matthew Walters were minding there own business in a bar after an indy show where they had wrestled (at the ages of 18 and 20 accordingly) where a drunken fight left one man paralyzed and another seriously injured and near death. The brothers were placed in prison for the assault and have only recently gotten out. The fight left Devon reluctant to ever wrestle or fight again, but he knows that it is his calling and will continue on for he has not much left in his life. Their parents disowned them, and left them basically homeless. They travel in a junker vehicle and use the money they make to live off of, and donate the rest to charity. They take as little as they need to survive. His brother is his guiding force, and helps keep him on track even when things go bad, the same thing he has done while they were in prison. The hindu conversion came after they had only been in prison a few years, and has changed the way they look at the world. They do not want to become untouchable as they feel they were on the road to, and have set to right the paths of as many people as they can. They hope to do just that in the SWF. ---- Manager: Matthew Walters Height: 6’9” Weight: 270 lbs. Looks: Similar to his younger brother, but he wears a suit and has shorter (think Christian) blonde hair. A very stoic man in his manner, but can speak his mind and beat the shit out of you at the same time. Apparently he was the one that caused the paralysis. Strength: 6 - Strong, but not as strong as his bigger younger brother. Speed: 3 - Similiar speed to his brother, even though he is of smaller size. Vitality: 6 - Hard to keep down. Charisma: 5 - Does 99% of Devon's talking during promos/interviews. Finishers: The Call of Kali – Dragon Suplex. Taught to Devon, but oddly more powerful when done by Matthew. Can snap the move with great force. Good Night’s Sleep – Surfboard Dragon Sleeper. Matthew can play the technical game, and does so with this submission. (Recently done on Velocity during Regal vs. Benoit) Notes: Matthew can wrestle his ass off, and is actually a little better than Devon, but Matthew is content sitting on the sidelines, helping his brother overcome the mental obstacles in front of him on his path to righteousness. It is hard to try and catch Matthew off guard, as he will just beat you down just like his brother to keep karma balanced. Matthew does all the talking for his brother as well during interviews. Both men are huge, and were once a tag team before the prison sentence. Matthew gave up wrestling while in prison because the consequences of his actions left another man unable to ever walk again and left others with long term hospital stays. However, he is still capable of it and enjoys watching his younger brother in the ring. The Eternal Way - The two brothers also have a tag finisher, which is a combination of the Call of the Kali (Matthew’s Dragon Suplex) and the Consequence (Devon’s Yakuza Kick) that is done similar to WGTT’s “Star Spangled Blaster” …This is quite rare but possible if a situation has a large brawl occurring with both brothers involved. (Note: I'm not counting on it any time soon, but I'm putting this here anyway).

but the second one of them tries for a collar-and-elbow tie-up I'm throwing something toward the ring. I don't care how far away i'm sitting, i'll throw my fucking ass off.

Oddly enough they actually are MAKING a Jurassic Park IV. Apparently the T-Rexs do legdrops and pose in this one.

When they finally do fight at SS...I best not see ONE fucking wrestling move. I want bloodshed, tears, and two men beating the living SHIT out of each other for like 10 minutes. I want Matt to jump Edge about two steps into his entrance and not let up one bit. I don't even want them to go near the ring really, just take it everywhere. Fuck, get really creative and let Matt leave Edge lying in a pool of blood and drive off screaming obscenities...it IS PPV.

I unfortunately noticed the lack of heat for that match. Great, now Stephanie's going to cut down the number of matches per show to 2 every week just because of a horrible crowd! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> And sadly, those two matches will be the Raw 10 o'clock main the the Smackdown ME... one with have Chris Masters in it, the other JBL.

It's called LFing. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> For years I thought those were her shoulder blades.... but they were really just dents from the application process. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Fun fact: Terri's implants are actually gerbil exercise balls. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Fun Fact: Richard Gere will now get implants.

It's called LFing. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> For years I thought those were her shoulder blades.... but they were really just dents from the application process.

Plus, you don't necessarily have to go at the windpipe via the mouth. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know I wouldn't. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> "Boy, that sure is one sexy lung!" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I thought we were talking about Steph, not Terri.

Plus, you don't necessarily have to go at the windpipe via the mouth. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I know I wouldn't.

Don't blame the pedestrians for the car wreck. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The show was already a car wreck, the pedestrians just poured gasoline on it and lit a match. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The pedestrians fucked the dead bodies inside and then giggled at the blood. Then Zack Malibu took his picture with the wreck. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Followed by HHH, sho stacked all the bodies onto a cart and ran away screaming "MINE!" while whacking off. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I would say that a dozen dead bodies have more intellect and creativity than his current wife, and probably don't nag as much when you try and fuck their windpipe.

I'll give you a hint ... her indian name is "Amused By Screech"

Don't blame the pedestrians for the car wreck. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The show was already a car wreck, the pedestrians just poured gasoline on it and lit a match. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> The pedestrians fucked the dead bodies inside and then giggled at the blood. Then Zack Malibu took his picture with the wreck.

This show will be used as proof that Jericho shouldn't be in a world title feud. I just know it. Nevermind Jericho wasn't actually wrestling. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Add on a "Cena's not ready to run with the ball." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Triple H strikes again or just shitty writing? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Anybody know how many Raw writers there alledgedly are? This would be excusable if it was just 2 guys, but apparently Stephanie's got an entire army of trained monkeys at her disposal. At this rate, I'll not be watching after Summerslam. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Don't worry, man...the writers aren't even watching now, and they get PAID to do it.