The Ill One

MAIN EVENT BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH THREE OF FIVE HARDCORE MATCH "The Superior One" Tom Flesher (1) vs Dace Night (1) ~I hate the idea of Flesher beating Dace F'N Night in hardcore, but it's quite the possiblity. Toss up. SINGLES MATCH ICTV Title Match Janus© vs Alan Clark ~Clark in what others would think an upset would be, but not me. TRIPLE THREAT, TWO FALL MATCH USJL Title Bout Hardcore Title Bout Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Mike Van Siclen© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ~Wow, uh, Maddix. NO GRAVITY MATCH Crusierweight Title Bout Johnny Dangerous© vs Todd Cortez ~Todd, I think. TAG TEAM MATCH Insane Luchador & Austin Sly vs Crow & Ryan Dustin ~Crowdust but I like the name of Insanely Sly. SINGLES MATCH "The Notorious" John Duran vs Ace Lezaire ~Duran, I guess. SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs David Blazenwing ~James.

Well yeah, that'd be a Grade A waste of time. Each to his own, but I heard Flair was very pleased with his recent boob job, got the jiggle down and everything... they did a good job.

Man I hope JHawk skims over that post and pardons you for that. Anyway I didn't watch RAW but I've never found Lita really that attractive either, while I think Stacy's face is awesome. But haven't we all these days?

...Good to know, Agoob, but last night I had one that wasn't too funny or anything (better than Toyko's though) but just fucked up. Woke up in my basement, elbow torn open, pants off (boxers on but bundled, may I add), and I was snuggling with my punching bag as if it was a teddy bear. So somehow I took off my pants, tore open my elbow, and then hit my bag down or something... completely sober, far as I know.

Confusion works too. Recently I've been getting morning amnesia extremely bad and rarely when I nap I can get it too. Recently I crashed at a friend's house, my girlfriends lives there too (yes I went for a friend's sister 'cause they're the same age and I'm that damn good). Anyway she comes in to wake us up and I hear her voice thinking "Wwwhhoooaaa, what the fuck did I do last night?" Then looked around all confused before it all clicked. My worse case was waking up around 10 PM thinking it was morning, running upstairs, taking a shower, getting dressed for school, eating breakfast- then I see my dad staring at me- "What the hell are you doing?" Yeah, then I checked the clock. Any stories you guys have? (Gee I forget if I do get it).

You know guys, these tough buggers have spent 17 years working to expose themselves and annoy us with their siren rattles! If everybody in America, hell, this world work as hard as these brave insects- it'd be Utopia. If we could model ourselves off this creepy lookin' fly-locus-whatever things, we could really make this world a better place. We could enter a whole new golden age of humanity. Damn it man! If we could just look to the Cicadas... if only we could see their work ethic! Those guys make those whails at night, all night, it's a strenous task to buzz all night. But they do it every god damn night and they know they have to! Their work ethic exceeds ours by so much. *Wipes away tear* We just need to look to the Cicadas, just look to them. They still haven't hit here, but I'm waiting. Patiently. With a bat.

All I can say is the Eugene segment with the shirt gun amused me more than it has any right to. It's incredible how well that gimmick is working out, oh, and why is the cage being used so much?

Don't worry Landon, at least you have a match going. I'm going a baby step past WWE hardcore, maybe, instead of "gorecore" so yours might beat mine with hardcore goodness. Good card, by the way.

DJ Jeff Sigmund Freud Eagan Prime *scratches head and leaves*

Jesus you guys do get out late. Well my last week of school is next week and it's finals. Really anti-climatic (no, I'm not graduating).

CWM FrozenBlockOfPiss RavishingRickRudo Jobber of the Week FrigidSoul Ripper BPS Edwin MacPhisto Agent of Oblivion Rando Lord of the Curry IDRM Thumbtack YNA LaParkaYourCar KKK

Nope, it's entirely possible. I was too young when he hit it big and I avoid MTV/radio like a plague, so really, I don't think I've ever heard a Prince song. I consider it an accomplishment really, but I'm afraid MacPhisto might go into cardiac arrest and disown me.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH WORLD TITLE BOUT Nathaniel Kibagami© vs "Deathwish" Danny Williams ~Kibs but god this is a beautiful match. SUBMISSION MATCH BEST-OF-FIVE SERIES, MATCH TWO OF FIVE Dace Night vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher ~Flesher. LADDER MATCH ICTV TITLE BOUT Toxxic© vs Janus ~Toxxic. TAG TEAM MATCH TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT Hollywood Boulevard© vs The Wayward Sons ~Wayward Sons. CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT Johnny Dangerous© vs Ace Lezaire ~I'll go with Johnny, but I'd mark the fuck out if Ace won. SINGLES MATCH Ryan Dustin vs "The Notorious" John Duran ~Duran. FATAL FOUR WAY HARDCORE TITLE NO.1 CONTENDERSHIP Crow vs Insane Luchador vs Aecas vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ~I'll go with the Fuckin' Bird, but Christ, I think I just killed Maddix in my match.

Yeah, that's hot. I like an agressive, hardcore girl. Bea's has got to have a kinky side to her, bondage I bet, maybe some skat or water sports... . Oh and I've never heard one Prince song in my life, no joke.

A Clockwork Orange Pulp Fiction Braveheart Psycho (1960) The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Goodfellas Schindler's List Casino The Godfather Part II Jaws Blazing Saddles Dogma Chasing Amy Scarface Die Hard Mallrats Fight Club Kill Bill Vol. 2 Platoon Seven (Se7en) Memento Office Space The Usual Suspects Taxi Driver North by Northwest Terminator 2: Judgment Day Raging Bull The Terminator Citizen Kane Forrest Gump Halloween Clerks

Yeah I needed to throw it up real quick and I realize it sucks. But I just wanted to get that out of the way 'cause it'll be a busy weekend for me... oh and I wanted the turn to be really "Whoa, what the fuck" because I decided it shows how even more unstable IL is. 'Cause otherwise the subtleness could be seen as PMS...

OoC: Far from my best but it's setting up what it's coming. (In Vancouver our not-so-noble SWF commissioner finds himself hunched over his cluttered desk in his office. He’s already doing paper work and putting the finishing touches on the card. A few scribbles later he finds himself crumbling the paper in his hand. With much panache he chucks the paper towards the corner of his room at the wire trash basket. It hits the nearly filled brim and bounces to the ground. Well, we all have our off days. A heavy sigh is released by Alex before glancing back at his work- wondering how he went from a kooky, drunken “Carney” smashing down mailboxes with GSMS’ slugger at two in the morning with a pimped out golf cart to the bitter, bitter bastard he is. Either way he’s stuck trying to finish up the paper work as it approaches late in the night when the first batches of wrestlers find their ways to the arena). Slowly the door creeps open and Alex looks up, exhausted. “Come in,” he mumbles while his head begins to hang low. With a swipe of the arm he straightens up the desk and knocks over the bottle of Advil to the floor. The door swings all the way open and he lifts his head- just to see the Insane Luchador, Andrew Rickmen, standing in the doorway with a scowl. “God damn it,” He whispers. The two have met and the two were far from drinking buddies. He doesn’t even bother to show interest. “What do you need, Rickmen?” Luchador slowly walks into the room with a baggy black sweatshirt on, loose khaki cargoes, same beaten up black skate shoes, the wild spiked hair with green streaks, and an incredibly intimidating look on his face. He approaches closer to the foot of the desk and doesn’t say a word or even blink. “I said…” Zed begins with an edgy tone. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Luchador demands. “Are you trying to kill me? Trying to mother fucking kill me?” Rickmen repeats as he props his hands on the desk, clutching papers and crumbling them with his hands. He snatches the few undamaged papers and looks up at his visitor. “Well Jesus Andrew, I thought you were doing a fine job of that yourself!” Luchador stands there in silence before letting a smirk creep across his face. “Look Andrew, I need to get back to work-” Alex almost pleads as Andrew’s head is somewhat tilted while he stares. Luchador suddenly snaps back into reality. “No, Zed, you look here. I don’t give a damn what you have to do. You’re trying to get rid of me, aren’t you?” The Commissioner stares in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about IL…?” “Book me in hardcore matches against some of ‘the best?’” Luchador snarls while he swats down a rock with the word “patience” engraved on it. Alex loses his cool for a second. “Andrew that’s what HARDCORE wrestlers tend to do- wrestle in hardcore matches... you're Mr. Masochist, I figured it'd fit you like a glove.” Andrew Rickmen suddenly does a complete 180* turn. “God damn right it does! I’m GORE-MOTHER-FUCKING-CORE!” He glances down and sees the Advil bottle on the ground. His head jerks towards it. “You know us wrestlers get more pain than a headache every night you little pussy,” The Commissioner quickly snaps back, “I’m a wrestler too, damn it!” “You used to be a wrestler! There used to be that mutual respect, alright? A wrestler doesn’t go down for a ten count off a PUNCH. A god damn punch! Look! A punch!” Luchador nails himself in the eye so hard that it’d make Tyler Durden proud. His head whips back and he nails himself again square in the nose. Slowly he brings his head level as blood streams from his nose. Alex stares too stunned to speak. “I want a shot at that World Championship,” Luchador says and pauses to let the blood drip down his shirt. “No, Andrew, you don’t deserve that shot,” Alex calmly replies. It’s hard to be edgy with a man who willing, hell, enjoys a good punch to his own face. Luchador cocks his head to the side and the blood slowly drips down each droplet splashing against Alex’s desk. Suddenly and violently the Luchador grabs the desk’s edge and flips it over! Papers and other items are sent flying as Alex lunges back in his swivel chair to avoid getting hurt. He stands up, absolutely fuming. “Now what the hell do you want? You’re running around like the maniac you are and now you’re being a complete creepy dick everywhere. What makes you think in that twisted mind of yours, Luchawhore, that you deserve a favor? I already gave you a HGC chance for the next show!” “Then I just want Crow in that match!” Luchador snaps out as he slowly moves closer. “No! God damn it! You don’t run this show! You, don’t, Christ, you’ve fucking trashed my desk!” Zed yells. “You’re on a losing streak comparable to Cutthroat you little shit!” Luchador steps into the frame of the desk. “Another step and so help me God I will get so many fucking security guards on you!” Alex roars as the confrontation just gets more and more heated. “Crow and I have unfinished business. I want to settle that in the ring without those other two!” IL refers to his match. Alex just stares in disbelief as the Insane Luchador turns around and he slowly walks out. He’s in too much rage to even call security as he tries to calm himself down. “Where’s my fucking stress ball?” He mumbles as the self-proclaimed Psychotic Hardcore Prodigy slams the door shut behind him.

Coyjiro, NNNOOO! Oh and I'm no-showing due to no interest in pursuing the tag team title shot I received.

Okay I'm like the Ashton Croft of the SWF. -- You prefer only females for sex partners. You tend to be dominant. This will impact the interpretation of your various sexual interests. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dominant (2 out of 5) Submissive (2 out of 5) Voyeurism (2 out of 6) Clothing (0 out of 5) Feet (0 out of 4) Spanking (0 out of 5) Bondage (0 out of 3) Humiliation (1 out of 7) Sensation (2 out of 8) Anal (0 out of 4) Exhibitionism (2 out of 5) Sleep (0 out of 7) Medical (0 out of 7) Training (1 out of 4) Food (0 out of 4) Bodyfluids (0 out of 7) Roleplaying (0 out of 6) Oral (2 out of 4) Objects (0 out of 5) Strangers (0 out of 4) Rape (0 out of 4) Groups (0 out of 3) Gagging (0 out of 4) Watersports (0 out of 5) Crushing (0 out of 5) Bestiality (0 out of 3) Fisting (0 out of 5) Finger sucking (0 out of 4) Toe sucking (0 out of 3) Masturbation (1 out of 3) Asphyxiation (1 out 4)

To everybody planning on showing in my match (exception of Clark)- PM me, please.

I just remembered about one of my friend's problems- he swears loudly and fluently in his sleep. I don't mean like a nightmare and maybe a few "fucks"- I mean "Fetus fuckin' bitchin bastard cunt shit" and so on. We were all used to it but once he was stuck on a road trip with his conservative, Catholic grandparents- so in the twin bed hotel room made for an interesting lecture when he got home.

Ace309 Thumbtack

...Dude, I don't get a newsletter either! Nice promo Spike and I think we all know that Zed would hit that.

I have a friend older step brother that is supposed to sleep walk all during the night. One time his step dad followed behind him because weird objects were in weird places (phone in freezer, DVD in microwave -uncooked mind you-, and etc). So apparently he walks into the bathroom and stares at the toilet. Then walks downstairs to the kitchen takes out the garbage bin, pisses in it, walks upstairs and flushes the toilet. No bullshit. I have no clue what the dad must of been thinking.

I'm staring at my match as of right now, which I intend to show for, but all I can say is- Ssssshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiittttttttt, can you say "Clusterfuck?"