JJ Johnson

Jerome Bettis is the luckiest man on the planet.

SACK!

Oh great, they highlighted Peyton's playoff ineptitude. Kiss of death for Pittsburgh.

Dear Bill Cowher, When the opposing team has their offense, defense, special teams, and about 20 fans in the box, don't run the football. Love, JJ

That just exemplifies why you don't count the Colts out until the gun goes off. It was funny watching Joey Porter come about 4 feet short of swatting that TPC, though.

I do! Pick me!

Chicago-Carolina is an interesting game. The two defenses are very similar, but Carolina's defense is more of a playmaker compared to Chicago's "We'll make plays once we shut you down" style that became apparent (8 sacks on Delhomme) last time they played. Which isn't to say that Chicago's D doesn't make a fair amount of plays with guys like Nathan Vasher and Mike Brown in the secondary. Both teams have ridiculously nasty front fours, but Chicago's linebacking corps is a bit more adept than the Panthers. Advantage: Chicago. On the offensive side of the ball, it's not quite as evenly matched. Delhomme's usually good about spreading his passes around to guys like Proehl and Mangum to keep the heat off of Smith, but to counterpoint therealworldschampion, Jake's not going to be wrecking anybody by himself. DeShaun Foster is explosive out of the backfield and could possibly break loose for a big gain if he can get into the secondary. Although granted, if he's in the secondary, he's already made a big gain. You know what I mean. I can't comment on the Panthers' O-line (or, for that matter, the Bears' O-line), but giving up 8 sacks in a game is ridiculous, even if it is Chicago. The Bears offense, on the other hand, is miserable. Grossman sucks, Orton sucks harder, and Thomas Jones stands about a Tiki's chance in a No-Fumbling Zone of getting through Carolina's line. Advantage: Carolina. Overall: Chicago. Offense sells tickets (unless you're the Cardinals), defense wins championships (unless you're the Buccaneers). Feels odd having written that, but hey, it was fun trying to look knowledgeable. Picks for the weekend are Denver, Pittsburgh, Chicago and Seattle.

Dr. Pepper lays claim to the most mind-numbing commercials this side of PSP, and the lamest line (via Mr. Pibb, which like Akira said, is the exact same thing) in an otherwise hilarious SNL skit. It's also neither a Coca-Cola nor a Pepsi product, which means that it's independent. And much like most independent things (bands, NCAA conferences, 85%-90% of the wrestling, Venezuela) it sucks.

Laberinto. Not Labertino. JJ Johnson; when he's not writing, he's sticking up for the misspelled guy.

I knew I should've begun my 'PPV at Skydome' push earlier.

I love what Philly did with the basement, by the way.

Quick learner.

Me! *ducks*

Maximum.

*raises hand*

Only 11,000? Aww. But in all seriousness, thanks.

Any chance you could bump the word limit for my match up some? 6000 preferably, but 5500's fine.

Use a small kart, like Yoshi's Egg 1.

SO MANY TYPOS. AGH. Oh well. Good card regardless, although the abundance of squash matches is a tad worrying.

Hooray, and all that sort of thing.

Homicide. On a related note, HOMICIDE. FUCK YEAH.

Shut up. Both of you. Spike, Damnation in a Box is a gimmick match. Nothing more, nothing less. Does it have a lot of history? Yes, and it has legendary status due to it being an extraordinarily gory affair in which, should the match resurface, somebody would likely have to die in order to top the original. Does this give you the power or right to stop Blank from participating in it should he so choose? No. It gives you the power to protest, but Blank obviously doesn't care what you think, so give up. Blank, Damnation in a Box is a gimmick match. Nothing more, nothing less. I said this in the Spike rant, but it applies here too. How? It's not worth the time and effort you seemingly revel in spending ticking off Spike. Why? Because it's not amounting to anything. It doesn't make you look smarter, it doesn't make you look better. It makes you look stupid, just like it makes Spike looks stupid, and quite fucking frankly, I'm sure I'm not the only one sick of it. I've tried to ignore both of your childish arguments. Honestly, I have. I would be content to let you be, and just ignore the both of you; however, it's remarkably difficult. Why? Because you take it everywhere*. So in short, Blank, next time Spike tries starting shit, ignore him. Spike, next time you think about trying to start shit, don't. Because guys, I'm not entirely sure I'll be as diplomatic the next time I go off on a tangent. Get over yourselves. Thank you very much for your cooperation. *I realize this is an exaggeration, Blank, so don't try calling me on it. Yes, you're that predictable.

BIRTHDAYOSITY~!

Playing online's a pretty humbling experience, but I've gone on a bit of a winning streak lately - up to 20-24 - so I'm not complaining. Hell, I wasn't complaining when I was getting my ass whipped. It takes an awesome game to keep me playing even if I'm getting destroyed. Oh, and you're in for a VERY rude awakening if you play as Toad. Just a heads-up. Also, I wish the game told you if your friends were online, instead of making you guess and look foolish as you sit there looking for what isn't there.