Greatest wrestling quotes ever?

[Aero 0]

Smackdown, April 2003, right before Backlash, I think. John Cena's on commentary as Brock makes his entrance...

 

Brock does his jump onto the ring apron, debuting the explosions on the turnbuckles.

 

John Cena: "Oh, so it's like that, huh?"

[Guest Black Tiger]

"You may be the Big Red Machine, but I'm the Big Red, White, and Blue Machine"

[Lil' Bitch 0]

"Face it, Jannety. I saved you from 29 other beatings!" - HBK during his interview before the 92 RR.

[DangerousDamon 0]

''if ya stick your nose in dx's business again, ima make a swing by ya house and show your wife my lance corporal. and she'll know what standing at attention is all about.''

 

hhh to sgt. slaughter

[TheFranchise 0]

Someone get the quote from Sid to Nash in WCW...

 

I'm... HALF as smart as you are!

[KTID 0]

Wait, did someone say quotes?...

 

Joel Gertner:

 

"The man who drove Beulah McGullislutty into the mat so hard she didn't know whether to urinate, defacate, or ejaculate, I present to you Buh Buh Ray Dudley."

"I am the peeled banana in your fruitbowl of love"

 

"Well, well, well if you got an hour, I've got the power. Joel 'You can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat' Gertner"

 

"Joel 'So hot I gotta get in the sauna just to keep cool' Gertner"

 

"At this time we were going to show you clips of Terry Funk but we couldn't dig them up, but even if they did our stations don't encourage us to use black and white footage"

 

Refering to Big Dick Dudley: "Attached to the creature who last night impregnated your mother ..."

 

"Joel 'The man who is so big he can't help from hurtin her' Gertner"

 

"I don't know what I'd too if I woke up in the morning and I wasn't me"

 

"The quintessential muffstuffer - opps, I mean studdmuffin"

 

"Joel 'Just like the Rubix Cube, the more you play with it, the harder it gets' Gertner"

 

"Joel 'Put your lipstick on my dipstick' Gertner"

 

"And you know, now that I've pounded the hype out of Lance Wright, I think it might be time to whip the smiles from Joey Styles"

 

"The quintessential studmuffin, Joel Gertner - remember that name, you'll be screaming it later"

 

"Joel 'Point the direction you want my erection' Gertner"

 

"Joel 'Harder than the tree that hit Sonny Bono' Gertner"

 

"Joel 'Bigger and better than the Titanic, because only 400 women went down on the Titanic' Gertner"

 

"Joel 'I've busted more nuts than a peanut factory' Gertner"

 

"And then there's me - I'm like milk; I do a body good."

 

"The quintessential studmuffin, the man whose wit is more tongue in cheek than a lesbian orgy, Joel 'The man whose phone number is on your girlfriend's speed-dial, because she loves the way I sixty-nine her' Gertner"

 

"Squeeze my lemons till the juice runs down my leg"

 

"I'm hotter than a 15 year old girl in a field hockey skirt"

 

From his Prodigy interview: "Well, well, well ... put those floppy disks away here comes the man with the biggest hard drive in professional wrestling ... Joel 'I've got more RAM than you can handle' Gertner"

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen the following matchup scheduled for 1 fall with a 15 minute time limit, and your referee is bald"

 

"And there's me, Joel 'The biggest ladykiller in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson' Gertner."

 

"I am the quintessential studmuffin, Joel 'Delivers more package than UPS' Gertner."

 

"Joel 'I'm like the middle of the litter box...I'm always surrounded by pussy' Gertner"

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen the following matchup scheduled for 1 fall with a 15 minute time limit, and your referee is bald"

 

 

"Joel 'The girls like to call me Fred Flinstone because they love the way I make their beds rock' Gertner"

 

 

Jerry Lawler:

 

"I heard that the doctor had to take a needle and drain the fluid from Tommy Dreamer's testicles. Ya know how I know that's a lie? Because Dreamer, you don't have any balls!"

"I had a nightmare that Sunny was my mother ... and I was a bottle baby!"

 

Vince McMahon: "If Owen Hart keeps this sleeper on long enough, it'll cut off all of the oxgen flow to Ahmed's brain, and he would lose consciousness."

Jerry Lawler: "Brain? What brain?"

 

"The Godwinns smell so bad, the paperboy doesn't deliver the paper. Instead, he just calls and tells them the news!"

 

"Jose Lothario - the walking liver spot!"

 

"When Mankind was born, the doctor took one look at his face, and one look at his rear end and said 'My God, Siamese twins!'"

 

"I don't know what the 7 wonders of the world are.....but I know Sunny's got 2 of them."

 

"I couldn't warm up to Andy Kaufman if we were creamated together."

 

Vince McMahon: "Jim, do you know anything about America Online?"

Jim Ross: "No, I'm not exactly computer literate."

Jerry Lawler: "Ross, you're a big speedbump on the information superhighway."

 

"The reason why Disneyland failed in Japan is because no one could ride the rides. Do y'know why? No one over there is over four feet tall!"

 

To Taka Michinoku:"The only reason why you're here is because your home country is over crowded. Did you know in Japan a woman gives birth every 4 seconds? Now I gotta go over there and find that woman and put a stop to this."

 

"Helen Hart's so ugly, you gotta tie a bone around her neck, so the dogs would play with her"

 

"Someone asked Helen Hart to act her age ... and she died!"

 

"Helen and Stu Hart are so old, that they were once nudists ... until they got kicked out of the garden of Eden!"

 

"Oklahoma, home of Jim Ross ... where all the toilets come with drinking straws."

 

To El Unico: "Look at you! You're still wet from swimming across the Rio Grande."

 

"Oklahoma: 200 people - one mind!"

 

"I just saw this guy getting a drink of water ... then the seat fell on his head!"

 

"The Milwaukee Brewers! I think the name speaks for itself ... they're all drunk!"

 

To a fan: "Nice to see you off the streets for a change."

 

Regarding the ECW Arena: "This building oughta be made out of toilet paper ... because there's nothing in it but shit!"

 

"I knew when I saw toilet paper hanging out to dry that I was in Philadelphia."

 

Regarding Philadelphia: "Let me put it this way. If anyone ever wanted to give the world an enema, that's where you would stick the nozzle"

 

Vince McMahon: "King, what do you think of the Mississippi/Alabama area?"

Jerry Lawler: "Oh, I love it. About 6 million people ... with 10 last names."

 

"Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the bible."

 

"Look at her face! It's people like you that turn men into ... well ... people like Goldust."

 

"If the Huckster and The Nacho Man could have a geriatric match, a think we could get Stu Hart and Jose Lothario out here and have a Jurassic park match?"

 

 

"Helen Hart once went into an antique store ... and they kept her!"

 

"Double J is a promising young singer. I just wish he'd promise to stop singing."

 

"McMahon, you don't know anything about music. Your favorite rock group is Mount Rushmore."

 

"Andy Kaufman's mum wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and ... well, let's just say that they're both satisfied."

 

"Look at all these idiotic Stone Cold fans. Some of them have even had their heads shaved! If you ask me, they're bald-headed on the inside too."

 

 

Top 100:

 

100) Bobby Heenan commenting on Hoagan's entrance music

Heenan: That's my second favorite song.

Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?

Heenan: All the rest are tied.

 

99) "Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.

 

98) "ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage

 

97) "He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

96) Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like to carp going after the same piece of corn."

 

95) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: "It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!"

 

94) "Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?" -- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan

 

93) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance... and he said "parole"."

 

92) "He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink

 

91) "NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy

 

90) "Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura

 

89) Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."

 

88) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:

Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"

Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."

Brian: Nope...it means lard.

 

87) "The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

86) Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."

 

85) "Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby H.

 

84) "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette

 

83) "Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO! I got right up and walked out!" -- Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries.

 

82) "Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

 

81) "I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White." -- Scotty "The Body" Anthony

 

80) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"

 

79) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"

 

78) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"

 

77) Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: "I see the rodeo's in town again."

 

76) "Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- The Dimond Studd

 

75) "I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack

 

74) "Hollywood Joohn Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! -- Scotty Anthony"

 

73) "Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!" -- Scott Anthony

 

72) "The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!" -- GWF announcer Anderson

 

71) I'm so quick,m Icould spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old ladie behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

 

70) Bobby H on the Rossati sisters: "The only thing they recognize is a buffet"

 

69) "I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over." -- Scotty Anthony

 

68) "Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?" -- Hulk Hogan

 

66) Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."

 

65) "Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zybisco

 

64) "This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack

 

63) "I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning." -- Sgt. Slughter after burning Hogan's face

 

62) "I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate.

 

61) "What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher

 

60) "Macho madness lives forver!" -- Randy S.

 

59) "Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't." -- Randy Savege on Elizabeth being at WMVII

 

58) "Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E.

 

57) "Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speach impediment

 

56) "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette

 

55) "You cannot believe the mayhem!" -- Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.

 

54) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."

 

53) Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:

Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of

World Records?

Gorilla: Yeah? For what?

Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.

Gorilla: Will you stop...

 

52) "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby H

 

51) " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." -- (For thhe 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby H

 

50) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"

 

49) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: "I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"

 

48) "The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby H

 

47) "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords." -- Jim Cornette

 

46) I'm just thisclose to that world's heavyweight championship belt." -- Rusty Brooks

 

45) "I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling." -- Jim Garvin

 

44) "Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette

 

43) "I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack

 

42) "Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk

 

41) "It could be....Giant Baba!" -- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be.

 

40) "I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old." -- Bob Backlund

 

39) "You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

38) "Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura

 

37) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper

 

36) "I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" -- Cactus Jack

 

35) "Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!" -- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon

 

34) "They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!" -- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express

 

33) "Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper

 

34) "Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan

 

33) "The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura

 

32) "I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack

 

31) "I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense

 

30) "Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper

 

29) "Often immitated, but never duplicated!" -- Captain Lou Albano

 

28) "Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair

 

27) "$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!" -- Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair

 

26) "Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper

 

25) Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:

Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.

Bobby: And slow.

 

24) "Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper

 

23) "When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake

 

22) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask: "He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..."

 

21) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?"

 

20) "It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food." -- Bam Bam Bigelow

 

19) "I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." -- "Ravishing" Ric Rude

 

18) "Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper

 

17) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

 

16) "I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut...$1 for each side." -- Scotty the Body Anthony

 

15) "Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?" -- Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality

 

14) "I'm the only man you wouodn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape." -- Billy Whatson

 

13) "When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!" -- The Road Warriors in their AWA days

 

12) "He has a lower occipital proturbance!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

 

11) "If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack

 

10) "Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox." -- Roddy Piper

 

9) "I see you have wavey hair....its waveing goodbye!" -- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer

 

8) "He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Havard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene." -- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer

 

7) "Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark

 

6) "To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair

 

5) "Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura

 

4) "Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?" -- Roddy Piper

 

3) "Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" -- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname

 

2) "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair

 

1) (After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

 

Bah gawd, I was in the mood for quotes one day!

[KTID 0]

Classic TV Talk:

 

"In case you're tempted to grab the remote and check out our competition, don’t bother. It’s two or three weeks old. Shawn Michaels beats the big guy with a superkick that wouldn’t earn a green belt at a YMCA. Stay right here. It’s live.” – Eric Bischoff reveals the result of the pre-taped Raw main event, Nitro, September 1995.

 

"You people know who I am, but you don't know why I am here. When that Ken doll look-alike, that weatherman-wannabe (Eric Bischoff), gets out here, I've got a challenge for him, for Billionaire Ted, for the Nacho Man and for anyone else in WCW. You wan't a war? You've got one!" - Scott Hall gate-crashes Monday Nitro, May 1996.

 

"(Scott Hall) said he would be bringing someone with him (this week). I'm here. You still don't have three guys (to face The Outsiders at Bash At The Beach). What, you couldn't get a paleontologist to get a couple of those old fossils cleared? You haven't got enough guys off a dialysis machine to get a team? The measuring stick just went up around here." - Kevin Nash joins Scott Hall, Monday Nitro, June 1996.

 

"For two years, I've held my head high. I've done everything for charity, I've done everything for the kids. And for the reception I got here...you fans can stick it , brother!" - Hulk Hogan turns heel, Bash At The Beach, July 1996.

 

"The most expensive piece of luggage in the WWF, right there." - Shawn Michaels tells the world that Sid has to be carried, In Your House XII, December 1996.

 

"Bret, I've seen you on the road, jack, and you ain't no role model. You've seen some Sunny days." - Shawn Michaels alleges that 'The Hitman' has been playing away from home with Tamara 'Sunny' Stytch, Raw, June 1997.

 

"What about that 18-stone slapper I saw you with last night, J.R.?" - Jerry Lawler, One Night Only, September 1997.

 

"What's a slapper?" - J.R. (in response).

 

"You weren't in on that?" - Bret Hart, post-Survivor Series footage from Wrestling With Shadows, November 1997.

 

"I had no f***ing idea. With God as my f***ing witness, my hands are clean of this one. I swear to God." - Shawn Michaels (in response).

 

"This is a conscious effort on our part to open the creative envelope, so to speak, to entertain you in a more contemporary way. We in the WWF think you, the audience, are, quite frankly, tired of having your intelligence insulted. We also think you're tired of the same old simplistic theory of 'good guys versus bad guys'. Therefore, we've embarked upon an innovative, contemporary campaign that is more invigorating and extemporaneous than before." - Vince McMahon delivers his 'New Direction' speech, Raw, December 1997.

 

"What was once a captivating, trend-setting programme has deteriorated into a cliched - and let's be honest - boring snoozefest that is in dire need of a knight in shining armour. Let's go over the facts. Television ratings: downward spiral. Pay-Per-View buy rates: plummeting. Mainstream acceptance: nonexistent. Reactions of the live crowd: complete and utter silence (due to) the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre sports entertainers." - Chris Jericho is about two-and-a-half years early on his evaluation, Raw, August 1999.

 

"Look at these guys: they've got no charisma. These guys are terrible." - Konnan on Mark Jindrak and Sean O'Haire, New Blood Rising, August 2000.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

Vader, after losing a mask vs. mask match to Kane:

 

"I'm just a fat piece of shit!"

 

A black wrestler named King Cobra says to Jerry Lawler:

 

"Read my lips!"

 

Lawler: "The bottom one says, 'inflate to 50 pounds'"

 

I'm not sure about the exact phrasing, but everyone should recognize this one:

 

"With deepest regrets, and tears that are soaked

I'm sorry to hear your old Dad finally croaked

 

He lived a good life on his own terms

Now he'll be buried, and eaten by worms

 

But if I had a son as stupid as you

I'd wish for cancer, so I would die too."

[Guest BAR]

The Over The Edge '98 Vader quote was priceless. It didn't even serve a purpose!

[Guest Dmann2000]

Randy Savage to Bret Hart on SNME: "You're entering the Danger Zone--east of the Pacific Ocean; west of London, England; south of Mars; and north of Hell, yeah!"

And that's one reason why Randy Savage is one of the greats!

[Guest BionicRedneck]

Following Hak's match with Bam Bam Bigelow at Spring Stampede 99....

 

Tony: "C'mon kids, have a clue. Don't try this in your backyard"

 

Heenan: "Try it in your living room....it's more fun!"

[EL DANDY~! 0]

I can't believe that nobody said the quote that Arn Anderson said before the Wargames match at Fall Brawl '96, where he cut one of the greatest promos I've ever seen on the nWo. If anybody has that quote, it would be much appreciated. I personally think that hate doesn't get any better than that.

[Guest Dmann2000]

"Aw, fuck it!" -- Mean Gene

I'm sorry, but the thought of a then 40-50 year old bald man saying that out of frustration absolutely KILLS ME.

 

Is there a clip of that available anywhere? I'd fuckin' love to see that.

 

UYI

I have the PPV broadcast on tape

[Guest Dmann2000]

Steve Austin's 12/95 ECW promo on the Hardcore History DVD is pretty good.

[Just John 0]

At Uncensored 97:

 

Dusty: Very astute obsahvation. Good call, Tonay.

 

Tony: Well, Dream, I have been doing this for about 10 years now.

 

Bobby: Yeah, and maybe one day you'll be good.

[Adam 0]

Does anyone have the Cactus Jack promo about the chair in Foley Is Good, that they wouldn't put to air because it crossed the line? That was brilliance.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

Earthquake: Do you know how long it takes to get from New York to London by boat? Real far. That's why we took the plane!

[kirk angel 0]

kurt angle talking about triple h the night he came back from his quad injury

" i just tore my quad this morning, look at me i'm fine now"

[Lil' Bitch 0]

If Wrestlemania is going to be HHH and Big Show, then WM is going to absolutely SUCK!

- The Rock

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

"Let's Hit it up- One Tiiiiimmme!!!!"

 

- Mean Gene introducing DJ whoever on Nitro...

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

"Hey, I just noticed your better lookin' than me"

 

-Ox Baker to the Crusher , Slamboree 93

[JHawk 0]

Bobby Heenan: "Tito Santana is like a cueball. The more you strike him, the more English you get out of him."

[CanadianChick 0]

Tony S, SuperBrawl 8: Jericho vs. Juvi, describing an electric chair drop: "FALLAWAY, sitting back.....to the mat, in a great defensive move!"

[Guest ToddRoyal]

Tony- During one of the late WCW PPV's (Greed?)- called the following moves a Dragon Suplex during the course of about 3 matches: German Suplex, Side Suplex, Tiger Suplex.

 

Then, During a cruiserweight match, one of the cruisers actually DID hit a Dragon Suplex. My friend and I yelled "DRAGON SUPLEX!" expecting Tony to follow. Tony's call?

 

"He hooks him behind the head--- Full Nelson Suplex!"

 

Thats my personal defining Tony call. I wish I could be more specific, but WCW PPV's weren't interesting me too much near the end.

[alfdogg 0]

Jesse Ventura after Duggan's match at WM5 (the one where he had snot hanging out of his nose)

 

"Look at that snot, Gorilla, that's disgusting! Makes me wanna puke!"

 

---

Gorilla: "Here comes the not-so-Macho Man in my book..."

Jesse: "It's Macho Man, Monsoon. I don't call you "orangutang", do I?"

 

--

Gorilla: Know what it takes to become a sumo grand champion, Brain?

Brain: You have to eat over 1100 bowls of rice in an hour.

 

--

Brain: "Know why Knobs has that patch on his head?"

Tony: "Why?"

Brain: "He's a brain donor."

 

--

Brain (calling an instant replay of Bull Nakano): Look at the hair! Okerlund would kill for a head of hair like that!

 

--

Vince: Jake will not be here tonight, he is currently at his home in Stone Mountain, GA...

Jerry: Stone Mountain, GA? Since when is the Betty Ford Clinic in Stone Mountain, GA?

 

--

Randy Savage at WM9: "Hanging from the rafters!...if there were rafters. The Roman Coliseum doesn't HAVE rafters. But I'll tell what they do have...they have columns, and they're hanging from the columns!

 

--

Gorilla on a Coliseum tape: "Elizabeth led down to the ring by a couple short fat guys..."

 

later in the match, when the cameraman shoots Sherri's ass:

 

"Good thing we're using our wide-angle lenses..."

 

--

Gorilla at SurvS 89: "I don't care whether you got a Z on the side of your head or not, that's not legal."

 

--

Gorilla: "Two-count only for Slaughter..."

Brain: "In Iraq, you only have to count to two."

 

--

Gorilla: "Stu and Helen Hart with a very concerned look on their faces..."

Brain: "Know why they're concerned? They snuck in, they're scared the usher's gonna get them!"

 

--

Gorilla: I have a hard time telling these Beverlys apart, Brain.

Brain: Beau's the one with the blond hair.

 

--

Gorilla: "There it is! El Paso Del Monte!"

Brain: "What'd you say, Extra Hot Pace Picante?"

 

--

Brain: "Give me one Monsoon...Whooo! C'mon, spit that banana out and do it!"

 

--

Brain: "You can't take Skinner fishing with you."

Savage: "Why's that?"

Brain: "He eats the bait."

 

--

Jesse to Mean Gene: "You've never done anything athletic in your life except tie your shoes! And I noticed you're wearing velcros now!"

 

--

Gorilla: "What exactly is Elizabeth's function?"

Jesse: "Look at her Gorilla...if you can't figure it out, you're too old for me to tell you."

 

--

Dusty Rhodes: "He got him hangin' on there like a rubblyding!" (don't ask.)

 

--

JR: "You know that Bret Hart and Steve Austin just hate each other..."

Jerry: "Everybody hates Bret Hart."

 

--

JR: "Will you stop with all these penis innuendos?"

King: "JR, you said penis!"

 

--

JR: "The Rock just put Billy Gunn's face into that large woman's ass!"

 

I'll have more later.

[Guest Black Tiger]

Rock: First Billy Gunn, your crappy music hits "Well I'm an Asshole!"

 

Dusty: THERE'S A LADY IN THE MENS BATHROOM!

 

Johnny Polo: Fuji Vice was Emmey award material

Gorilla: Enema award material

Johnny: With friends like you, who needs enemas?

 

Bobby: This man Ohtani is a stranger in our country, he doesn't understand you need to break at five, he needs a grace period.

Tony: How long of a grace period?

Bobby: Give him a 30 count to break

 

King: Shamrock called Venis a porno punk, sure he hangs out with Ron Jeremy and that crowd.

Cole: How do you know about that crowd?

King: I read a lot

 

Piper: (after Sensation Sherri finishes screaming) That's why they call her Scary Sherri.

 

"SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!"

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Ventura making fun of Hogan by calling him the Pukester with all his Puke-amaniacs in the unstoppable force of Puke-amania I thought was always classic gold.

 

 

 

 

Shortly before SS 92, Mr. Perfect called Savage "The Macho Chicken". Boy, I'd never seen Randy run down to the ring so fast like that in his career before.

[BorneAgain 0]

Does anyone have the Cactus Jack promo about the chair in Foley Is Good, that they wouldn't put to air because it crossed the line?  That was brilliance.

You used to be mine, didn't you? Mine and mine alone. I could use you, and that was fine, because no one else could. Now when I lie awake in bed, with you in my arms, I do so with the knowledge that you've been held by other men. Used by them. Four or five in a single night. And I've had to watch it all, you cheap whore, and pretend to like it when I see you go up and down, up and down, again and again, on their swolling throbbing heads. And you expect me not to care. When Tommy Dreamer spreads you legs and lowers himself on top of you for the whole dressing room to see? Well, I do care, because I love you, and I always will, and I will always return to the one I love.

 

Zoom out to show Cactus cradling a steel chair and then making out with it.

[Guest TripleHater]

Are you kidding the rock? are you kidding? Is this the first time you ever heard someone mention your city is that it?

o yay whoo ray he said Toronto yay woo yay thats where we live we live in Toronto yay,SHUT UP!-The Rock

 

Finally,The Rock has beat that bald candy ass at a Wrestlemania-The Rock

 

Are you trying to make fun of me King? I know my English isn't that great.-JR

 

This isn't one of those things when you leave RAW and You go a 2nd rate promotion like Smackdown-HHH

 

I once heard this guy name Rowdy Rowdy Piper got beat by you,I wonder who he is I will like to meet him.-Piper

 

When Jazz won the title at Backlash,It turned into Blacklash-Theodore Long

 

I wake up in the morning and I can smell cofee all the way in brazil-Jason

 

Last night at no way out the rock did vince mcmahon a favor and he wooped that red and yellow candy

ass-Rock

 

you "dude" love,So get off the cactus "jack"-John Cena

 

Canada you know what? Just know your role shut your mouth,take all your boo's and Stick it straight up your maple

syrup suckin candy asses-ROCK

 

What is Goldberg gona do, arrr (spit) arrrr zzaerneta-ROCK

 

I have had more championships than you have woman(this is a classic)-Flair

 

 

This is my world,Where your 2 little feet is standing at is what I own-HHH

 

You and Kurt have somethin in common,You both SUCK!-Lesnar

 

Dont chant goldberg because he's count over goldberg,ok?-Rock

 

If you go nose to nose with HHH you definatley gona lose that battle-JERRY

 

In this arena,I am GOD!-HHH

 

I used shawn to get the top just shawn used me to stay at the top-HHH

 

You always thought you was better than me holmes,Well that aint true holmes-Eddie

 

There chanting Goldberg because they getting ready for your funeral-HHH

 

Why is this crowd cheering? Whats going on? -JERICHO

 

We in mates Brock,You just dropped the soap-CENA

 

I'll be a better champion than bruno sanmontino(sp?)-Cena

 

I'll leave you hurt,You'll be calling me "kurt"-Cena

 

Im gona make a name for my self and that name is the legend killer-Orton

 

Wooooo this Wooooo that-Jerry

 

Austin 3:16 just said I pissed my pants-Austin

 

You aint nothin,you aint nothin,anyone can woop that ass anyone,super man,batman,aqua man,You know the dude that talk to the fish? He'll woop that little candy ass just like that-ROCK

 

I know what these people want more than they do-Vince

 

This isn't the HHH Show-Buh Buh Ray Dudley

 

Boston,mass isn't the greateat sports place lets face it-HHH

[JHawk 0]

"So you think you're impressing people because you spell your name 'R-O-A-D-D-O-double G'? You want to impress me? Spell 'lugubrious'!" -Chris Jericho at SummerSlam 99