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Posted
I'll take claim of Portugal if no-one else has claimed it

 

*watches as the only Portugese person he can think of wears a stupid headband*

 

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*Cries, then remembers...*

 

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*Cries again

Portugal are nothing but drunk Spanish people that got lost and started their own country.

And damn proud of it!

Posted

::The cute but deadly creatures have officially overrun New Zealand. There is no hope for humanity there, save the Japanese, since they have the ability to keep the creatures in tiny little balls. And first person to make a penis joke out of that has to watch present day AJPW until they beg for mercy::

Posted

Breaking news!

 

Turkey has invaded and subsequently conquered the Ukraine! Turkish officials say they plan to control every country surrounding the Black Sea as their first step in WORLD DOMINATION~. This could possibly mean you!

 

Love,

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Posted
*lures Elian Gonzalez to Fiji under false promises of going back to the US*

Eh, you can have him. Piece of shit can't play baseball. I got a ton more kids more talented then him.

 

*sits back, lights a cigar* ahh, that's good shit.

Posted

*Invades Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, United Arab Emirates, Yeman, and Quatar. Then offers to take care of the Palestinian problem for Israel in exchange for $1 billion. *

Posted

::Meanwhile, back in Monte-Carlo...

 

Caboose sits in his massive Tax-Free Casino, Directing, Producing and starring in his own Tax-Free Porn, smoking and drinking Tax-Free Cigars and Tax-Free Absinthe respectively, watching the world turn to war on his Tax-Free 80" Plasma Flatscreen TV::

Posted

* does some research on Portugal*

 

Hmmm, the Super Rock festival in June sounds interesting. I can watch the Pixies, think about how hot Nelly Furtado is, then sentence Linkin Park and Muse to death for crimes against music.

 

*goes off to change shoes, as he realises that Portugal is the second biggest manufacturer of footwear in Europe*

Posted

*makes Australia a republic, appoints himself the President, appoints Nathan Jones and the Bushwackers as his Defense advisors, appoints Kylie Minogue as his personal assistant*

Posted

*Nathan Jones flies to Germany and wrestles in their arenas. Thousands die from shock after seeing his wrestling ability (or lack thereof)*

 

EDIT: Oh, and I forgot. *bangs Kylie... twice*

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