SWF Storm Comments!

[Ace309 0]

I only managed to get through Triple Crown Landon's excellent, excellent heel promo before I lost my willpower and skipped to the end to see who won.

 

KIBAGAMI, you magnificent bastard, congratulations.

[Crowe 0]

I think bongs and beers are in order.

 

*chugs*

[Guest Fire and Knives]

....well.

 

That's pretty fucking cool.

 

It's rare that I'm actually proud of something I've done in this fed, but this is definitely one of those occasions. Most of you know I've been here forever, but just in case you don't, I've been around in some capacity or another since the summer of 2001 and I haven't held a title since the IGNML. So, in true old-school ML Pride fashion, I'm going to bring back The World Champion Thank-You Post.

 

 

Z: You're definitely the person I talk to the most out of the entire fed. Every match plan and overly dramatic spot I've ever bounced off of you at 3am has probably contributed in some way to the fashion in which I wrote my title match. I do appreciate the headache you gave yourself deciding between mine and Danny's, regardless of how much gloating I do after this. Without taking anything away from the rest of CC, you're definitely my favorite marker - winning a match you mark actually makes me feel like I've achieved something, and there's approximately two other people on Earth that can validate a piece of my writing like that. Rock the fuck on.

 

Flesher: I am almost positive that you won me this match - ladies and gentlemen, Tom Flesher deserves the credit for the first major appearance of the Year of the Dragon. You manage to be just as caustic as me in your own way, yet strangely you do it in such a fashion that people continue to like you. I assume this to be part of your overarcing plan for world domination, and I approve wholeheartedly so long as my money and drugs are delivered on time. In all seriousness, you're one of the people in this fed I might actually enjoy hanging out with should I ever run into them by accident. Keep on keepin' on.

 

P.S. - I realize that you are responsible for the Fighting Champion Thing I'll likely have to do, and I'd like to take this time to say that you are a bastard. That is all.

 

Edwin: I said hallelujah; I stayed in the fed because I read your matches way back in the ML and thought, "Oh, shit. I might not be able to beat that dude." You worked with a rookie you had next to no knowledge of and produced half of the most memorable storyline in the federation's history and motivated me to write what I consider to be the match of my career and one of the fed's top five. You are the only person I've ever met who has the ability to humble me with your writing alone. We owe each other a competitive match somewhere, someday. My hat is off.

 

Thoth: Without your help, I wouldn't have gotten back into the fed to run Edwin/Silent. Whether the current crop of SWFers appreciate it or not, we put together some of the most ridiculously sadistic matches and angles ever - we arguably paved the way for the horrorcore matches as much as people like Grimedogg and Neilsen. Booking off the top of my head at 1am with you and Spider helped shape the Silent character and planted the seeds of the Kibagami face turn. You're another person that I owe a match too. So says the Clan, you crazed motherfucker.

 

Crowe and Janus: I must take this opportunity to thank you for living in Australia, and therefore being awake when I'm still up at 5:30 in the fucking morning. God bless you both for keeping me sane every now and again.

 

Muzz: Your presence in chat this morning is what actually gave me the idea of bringing back the Thank-You Post. You're easily one of the top five writers in the fed, and yet you put yourself on the midcard level every time somebody mentions how impressive you can be. You've been around even longer than I have, and whether that's dedication or psychosis on our parts is up for grabs. You reminded me that no matter how good you are - or how good you think you are - a little humility now and then never hurt anything.

 

Mark and King: Now, this one looks a little weird, I bet. "What the hell is that bastard thanking them for? He yells at them all the time! He's fucking lying!" No, he isn't. Mark and King are models of dedication to this fed - they have also been around longer than I have, which I often find myself forgetting. Neither of them are immune to no-showing, obviously, which King will usually be the first to remind you of, but they've stayed with the fed in some capacity almost since its inception. That sort of dedication is the reason I've never held a title - talent's only helpful if you can do it more than twice in a row. Their insistance that I prove myself eventually pissed me off enough that I went and proved myself, after a fashion. I appreciate that as much as an arrogant asshole like me can possibly appreciate that sort of thing.

 

 

I am positive that I have left people out, and I'm sorry about that. But I'm not editing you in, goddamn it, because I just used up all the humility and diplomacy I had in my body for the remainder of the calendar year writing that.

 

Comments on the rest of the show will go up as I feel like doing them.

 

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Silent.

 

K.

[janusd 0]

Crowe and Janus: I must take this opportunity to thank you for living in Australia, and therefore being awake when I'm still up at 5:30 in the fucking morning. God bless you both for keeping me sane every now and again.

(Y) @ being praised. Even though we haven't really talked much outside of cursory chat greetings, and lately, plotting the deaths of certain dumb motherfuckers that I just happen to know.

 

Con-fucking-grats, mate. You've worked for this long enough and you sure as hell deserve it.

 

Champ.

[Crowe 0]

Crowe and Janus: I must take this opportunity to thank you for living in Australia, and therefore being awake when I'm still up at 5:30 in the fucking morning. God bless you both for keeping me sane every now and again.

I mark for getting thanked, no matter how trivial role I played in your quest for the world title. By the way... I challenge you to a "Bong Olympics".

 

[muzz 0]

Haven't read the show in-depth yet, only having read Landon's dikish schtick making me smile, and Crowe's hardcore goodness. More comments later.

 

But for now...

 

*me toasts the king, Kibagami*

 

Well done.

[Guest Evolution]

Wow.

 

Two guys who no one expected to be World Champ anytime soon in a matter of weeks.

 

You always had it in you, K. Congrats.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Awesome job, Silent! I knew this would happen eventually, but to see it happen now is just great.

 

 

Oh, Landon is getting better than ever, and I'm digging Muzz's new character.

[Guest Aecas]

Very nicely done Kibs.

 

Congrats mate

[King Cucaracha 0]

Wow...I get props, despite no-showing.

 

 

Anyway...besides that, some MAJOR props go Kibs' way. It's obvious even to a relative newb like myself that you've been through some serious time here, and made a big impact in that time here. As such, it's cool to see you reach the top of the summit. Not least with such a great match. So, congrats.

 

Same too to Zacktez and MVS for writing a very enjoyable match, even with the result already certain if I'm right in thinking.

 

On a personal note...thanks to Spike for writing and saving my ass. Especially for the choke-out finish. Expect much promoage on that subject...

[The Ill One 0]

Kibagami- You excellent little fucker, you. Huge props on the match and a huge motherfucking (Y)~! for doin' an ML style post (The bra and panties match was awesome). I've only skimmed but all I can say is damn, wow, and thanks to Silent for not hunting me down and smacking me around. Congrats.

[the.weej 0]

I notice we are lacking a new card, so I suppose I shall say this here.

 

First off, much-congratulations to Kibagami for doing the impossible amd becoming world champion. It was not the best match you've ever written, but it was still damn good. I only hope that Thoth at least gives you a one show reprieve before booking you in a rematch with Danny, so you can enjoy this for a while. Heh.

 

Secondly, big ups to Danny as well, as his match was great. It was decided by a small amount of tiny factors, this one. As I mentioned in the card thread, I would freely encourage you to seek out a second opinion on this match, and I would be more than willing to provide comments.

 

However, it will have to wait for a slightly later date. Despite the fact that Kibagami winning the world title has not ended the universe, much to my shock, I feel like I'm about to die. I'm suffering from bronchitis and a million-degree fever, so I will be online very sparodically over the next 3-5. Thoth, for the love of god, please don't give me anything to mark.

 

Back to lying down and coughing up a lung with me.

 

-Z

Edited May 15, 2004 by realitycheck

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Secondly, big ups to Danny as well, as his match was great. It was decided by a small amount of tiny factors, this one. As I mentioned in the card thread, I would freely encourage you to seek out a second opinion on this match, and I would be more than willing to provide comments.

Any chance of you listing the tiny factors when your feeling better? Pm, post, either would do.

 

I didn't have a chance to proofread my match, and I can imagine a few errors were more than likely present to say the least. But I'd like to here it from you. I also don't think Kibagami's Lovecraftian entrance helped me any, but I was running out of adjectives and thought it would be funny.

 

Kib's match was great, even if he confused me with Judge Mental(I've never used the Stretch Plum).

[Zack Malibu 0]

Kudos to Kibs on a well done, well written title win. The SWF World Title has changed almost as often as the WWF Hardcore Title used to, but I would say that's more of a compliment to the skills of all the writers rather than a knock on anyone.

 

Oh, and there were other new champions crowned, ya know.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

Danny, if the word 'eldritch' appears in your version of my entrance, you can have the belt back. No lie.

 

In all honesty, you should post your match; as close as this was, I'd love to read it. I talked to Z before he went to bed last night and I sat around for about three hours convincing myself I had probably lost.

 

K.

[Dace59 0]

Comments time:

 

Opening promo time, thanks Tom for doing this one, a really nice set up for our fued. Sets everything up and gives all the needed out line. Now we can grab the working boots and make some great matches.

 

Another promo, I do like the opening gag there, it's a nice way for a heel to make his entrance as well. Three title belts? Very flash I must say. Some great heel talk, Maddix really has a nack for this stuff it seems. The e-bay comment was another good line, it's just a huge ego trip through out. Awesome heel work.

 

Opening match, our usual little injokes to start with one off from Crow, just to keep things interesting. The Blind Guardian joke gets a pop from me. It's an interesting set up, with all the talk of Crow's resent problems and such. And that leads right into IL taking an early advantage. Crow makes a few mother lines talking to the reader as well, they're unusal, but they fit in with what's going on and are a good idea. And as the weapons start to fly, we've got hardcore vs hardcore going on. And we got back to the story of Crow having lost his ego from the intros. Crow fights back when pushed, but he doesn't have it in him to take IL down...Crow just gets the shit kicked out of him here and it's making the whole storyline work so well. Sweet Hardcore chairs, lightbulbs and table bump, but it's that huge system shock that awakens the sleeping giant. Crow goes on a huge hardcore rip now, and huge mother fucking bump to cap the match up. What a way to show Crow getting back to form and have a reason behind it. All the little things in the writing just pulled it together, and a really good story for the curtain jerker.

 

Triple Threat time, and the book of clark makes another outting. Not much to the intros, just getting everyone out there cleanly and making points about their current directions, carrying on everyone's characters. I do like setting up the whol thing of Johnny keeping up Wildchild's legacy. Standard fair cruiserweight quick opening, making it look to be a high action match. All the writing follows the quick pace, keeping everyone moving, but covering all the details pretty well. Not much in the way of long term selling, yet anyway, just action. But the high amount of commentry is used to cover the action and back it up, rather that masses of description at times. Taking Clark gives room to get on with an old fashioned heel fact match up after the old low blow roll up, and it helps to but Sly over, as he needs it most, with all the success he's been having lower on the card. And a nice little cover to explain why a countout didnt happen though all this action as well, just to show it was thought of. Sly gets to look strong, beating on Johnny as he sells the stuff from the outside, and so looks in danger of losing this one. The reversal is a bit sudden, but doesn't go against the back work that much, even if we have the age old missed lariat spot. Quick ending, as Johnny just has too much to bring for Sly and he retains.

 

And your latest call up makes his presence felt... and looks like he's trying to chat up Megan while he's at it. And he likes the alkey-hol... could make for fun moments. At least we know who he is... and that hopefully he'll keep showing. I wonder if he's on Maddix trail because he's using the same theme music?

 

None title match time... Spike still has no problems with making jokes about himself, which which shows he's a good guy really. And a nicely working Bobby Riley joke as well, which never goes amiss. It's Spike's usual, actually really solid work and tactics, just lite on the writing side at times. the opening headlock sort of carries on the headlock story line from Coy/Todd and Maddix/Coy, but this time Maddix can fight his way out to the ropes. But it goes straight back to the headlock and the battle over it, with the commentry keeping stuff interesting and bring up some good points, covering the action writing as well. The same fight to the ropes, different result as Landon tries to slap Spike again. And Spike finally gets that Side Headlock take over he's been fighting for, controlling the smaller man and keeping him away from the flashy offence that won the belt for him. Even when he gets rolled up, Spike goes straight back for the headlock, keeping it simple, keeping it working. Landon has to roll out of the ring to no lose, and Spike is looking strong in this low work match. And Spike goes for the same move again, but just like when Landon repeated his spots, Spike gets countered. Landon sells his neck as he makes an offensive run, but that mises a diving headbutt, an unwise move, but he's made unwise flying moves before and this time it costs him. The Spike Berg joke is golden. A DDT to keep working the neck, and the fact Spike's keep the illgeal choke joke going so long shows he has it in him. And Spike gets an upset win with a choke out, finishing off the next work. Really was good work over all.

 

Muzz's latest character shows up, another ego hungery heel, in a cool promo. The paid fans bit is brillaint.. don't think I've seen that one before. He's here, we know who he is... there will be battles.

 

Tag Title match now, lots of stuff going on behind this match, and Aecas and Janus aren't going to be pretty here. I like how Todd and Mike are billed as former tag champs.. just to give that extra feel to their intro. Once again, Janus is nowhere to be seen to start with, as Aecas once again has to fight two men at once, just like against Coy and Alan. And once again, Aecas just about manages to hold his own. Aecas gets some payback on MVS, managing to take it to him one on one. When Aecas misses a gore, Mike goes straight to work on the shoulder with a single arm ddt, setting out some pysch in this match with many other storylines behind it. Todd follows up that plan, and just outpaces the big man who can't keep up fighting two men forever. The commentry doesn't break up the action that much, just goes to reenforce it here and there. Just as Aecas is managing to take control of both men again, and looking very strong through the way it's written, Janus rears his head at last. And this allow for the double team on Aecas, which seems to be the only way he can be taken down in these tag matches. But even with Janus right there, Aecas keeps on fight like before and the words still put him over and show the gap created between the two champs. Suddenly Janus tags himself in, but Aecas spots him from finishing off MVS. The storyline thickens right here. And then it all starts to break down, as the Janus/Aecas finally comse to a boiling point, Janus nails Aecas with an ADFII, but it's STILL not enough to keep him down. Fianlly Aecas is choked out, and the tag titles are gone, but the fued will continue. Man, Aecas looks like a one man killing machine, and it takes Janus' attacks to actually make him lose. Good job putting him over and adding some great tension to the match with the way it was all written.

 

I win the cage match, go me. Someone else has to comment on this one. But thanks to my misses Jen for letting me finish this match at her house.

 

Finally time for the world title match. More shoot like opening commets, about both men's drug and injury problems. And Kibs sets up the huge crowd heat that this battle has, just to hype it that little extra bit. We've got the chants going both way.. and this match just seems huge the the build up in the intros. And then things explode, great opening run, with just the sounds of those impacts, Kibs style making it so he needs nothing else. And then all that momentum that Kibigami is riding gives him the first upper hand, after his kicks worked so well against Toxxic. And then Kibs mirrors Danny's usual actions, and busts out a Tope, only to get taken a back by a wave of elbows as Danny fights back. Both of these guys are built as The Man, both are damn hard and this match looks like it will hang around that fact. Danny retunrs the favour on the kicks and a dropkick leads into the first move, showing the more high flying style we've seen from Williams lately, and that as the champ, he's technically the bigger Man. Leading into the half crab, which also goes after Kibagami's neck, his ever present weak point, and of course tries to take away his kicks. This is trying to open up a gap between the two men to add some more tension and drama. Kibagami fights back, the snap suplex seems very out of place in a match between these two, where it's sure to do nothing, but it does lead into further kicks to the ribs Kibagami, just like the ones that opening the match. A reversal by Danny and again things go to the outside, giving the feeling the ring alone isnt big enough to hold this match. And an Elbow Sucidia, as Danny returns the dive from earlier in the match. the commentry just cements the scale of this battle and all that's at stake, while the writing style works much the same as it did in the match against Toxxic, so fits the match perfectly. The Cross Armbreaker gets put over, with the submission change over on the ropes, as Kibagami and Danny show they are matched down the line in this one. And back to the strike trade offs. Both of these men can give out so much damange with them, but they can also make so much damange as well, so it's ramming a point into a wall, and it does sort of feel like they're not actually working, but they do match for a different type of brawling transistion. Another submission and again it's danger is brought up, just to high light it. But again Kibagami can fight to the ropes, only to be dragged right back into another hold, the blows starting to add up now. This time it seems to works, and leads into a real pin fall. The walls are starting to crack and crumble under sheer force of attacks.. a slightly different line to normal psych, but when it's The Man vs The Man, it does make sense. So the transistion into a Burning Lariat is a bit fast, this match isn't playing out along that route of pysch. A little more support to that end though would have been best. And then Danny's fighting back again with his elbows, and the Rolling Elbow is put over, and takes Kibigami out of the ring, so he can't be pinned from it. This match feels like a grudge match, two guys pound away with each other and against anyone else the strikes would be near leathel... something that might be better for a fued end, but can be twisted to fit into a big match like this. Once again, Kibagami pulls through wave of strikes and nails Williams with a pair of suplexes. It's like the wave of fighting spirit is running strong in both men, and going through the pain of the strikes by power alone. Just could have done with being backed up. Again the strikes as a come back get countered, and Danny is in another Cross Armbreaker, but the bottom rope isn't around this time. It takes a huge struggle to make it to the ropes this time around. Kibs targets in on the arm, but Danny finally scores a strike transistion with impact in and enzuilariat, showing they can't just walk through the fire of strikes all the time. And then all the damage means Danny can't score the powerbomb, The Man can't use one of his best weapons to win the match. Kibagami counters and goes straight for his own big move and bits it for a big close fall. It's the same almost spotty shift in advantage, but both of the guys are billed as The Man, and it leads to another counter and another big damage move. It's almost delayed selling, mixed in with a dose of raising the bar, both of them seem tougher and their moves less effective against each other. The whole thing keeps rolling as Kibagami hits a desperation Gamengiri and finally both men are down on the mat. Danny tries going straight back to the attack, but get's caught in another submission. And now Danny can't use the wave of strikes to move back to offense anymore, and another big move some Kibagami finally seems to be having impact. And Kibagami just dropes his walking through the fire, I can do all your stuff just as good as you can plan and flies from the top for the win... finally. I would have thought it would have been the Demonstar for the end, but then again, all this impact stuff wasn't getting the job done for either man, so something else had to be done about it. Very interesting match. And nice running joke about Flesher being in the main event to.

 

More excellent work people. (Y)

[Guest Suicide King]

Confetti and party hats to Kibs!

[Crowe 0]

SWF Storm 14/05/2004

---

Crowe’s Comments

 

Post 1 – Flesher vs Night, Best Of Five, OH MY GODZ~!

Post 2 – Triple Crown Landon Does His Thang

Post 3 – Crow vs Insane Luchador

Post 4 – Johnny Dangerous© vs Austin Sly vs Alan Clark

Post 5 – Dusty Maks Megan Good.

Post 6 – Landon Maddix© vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

Post 7 – The Best Damn Promo In The History Of Everything

Post 8 – Janus & Aecas© vs The In Crowd

Post 9 – Stryke vs Dace Night

Post 10 – "Deathwish" Danny Williams© vs Nathaniel Kibagami

 

After skimming few the show, I have decided to select the bolded match above to review and comment on. The reason for this is... Kibs asked me to do so, and in return, he rips apart my match. Fun fun fun. I feel bad for Dace giving his all to review the whole show and not get any comments in return, so, he automatically gets the next “Crowe’s Comments” treatment for his match against Taamo.

 

---

 

And so we begin. The opening banter is written well and there are absolutely no problems with it. Bobby’s jealously when it comes to Tom Flesher’s actions with the SWF ladies is quite amusing. Grade ‘A’ build up to the first strikes, not only is the writing some of the cleanest I’ve read in recent times, it also manages to create a large degree of ambience and tension.

 

“And citizen Nathaniel wins the first exchange! I could feel those strikes from here, Bobbi – one can only imagine how focused these two must be to shrug off such massive blows!”

 

”Percocet, most likely.”

 

”Hush, Bobbi! Both champion and challenger are models of Justice in Action!”

 

”That’s a pretty badly flawed model, if you ask me. Does justice always involve hypodermic needles, or are they optional?”

 

”Call the match, criminal!”

 

Ah, some funny commentary that actually has a purpose (to keep bringing up history) instead of just being there for comic relief, how often do you see that? Mm, Silent busting out a tope is... interesting, didn’t know he had it in him. A change in domination with Danny busting out those motherfucking elbows, they must sting like a bitch, oh, and then brings out the cowboy kicks! Mmm, it’s rather even at this point, with both guys gaining the advantage and losing it when his opponent is sparked by something. This is the kind of wrestling I like, back and forth, even contest. Usually, it then goes into the way of something taking advantage, having the advantage for a while and then losing it and then the match. Unless, you have both men keep one-upping each other all through the match and then one guy busts out a huge motherfucking move to end it. Hmmm... I wonder which path you’ll take, from the tone of the commentary and discussion of clashing of styles, I’d guess the latter. We shall see.

 

FUCK! ELBOW SUICIDA! I mark out. Mmm... cross arm breaker... a little arm psych going on here, possibly to stop Danny from nailing those crazy elbows? Maybe... and FUCKING HELL, could this match be more even!? I am loving the constant switching of dominance, great stuff. The commentary is well-handled with Bobby providing the intelligent comments (something I use him to do also), having an amusing reason for doing so (keeping things interesting because there’s no Flesher) and staying funny in the process. And now, we finally have a more persistent swing in advantage with Danny getting some neck related moves in and locking on a Stretch Plum. !!! Kibs kicks out and reverses the whip to yet again take control of the match! Mmm, Kibs goes back to the arm psych again...

 

“Kibagami wisely going after that right arm of Danny’s – Danny tends to rely on those elbows to lead into everything else in his arsenal; take those away and you’ve practically won the match outright.”

 

And that piece of commentary makes my earlier guess correct. Fuck, I rule. SHIT! Reversal... and a FUCKING DANNY WILLIAMS ELBOW TO THE HEAD! Major motherfucking mark out, looks like that arm psych didn’t pay off, or Danny forgot to sell, or he used his un-psyched arm... either or! Ahahahahahahahahahahahah! Fabulous work on having Kibs hit an elbow, Danny retialiating with a mocking slap saying “What the fuck was that, pussy!?” and then nailing a kick! They’re swapping niches! Cradle Suplex for a close three count! I was suckered into believing that was it... bastard. OH OH OOOOOH, DANNY USES ARM STRIKES BUT KIBS COUNTERS WITH AN ARM THROW, THEN SLIDES INTO THE CROSS ARM BREAKER! Mark out!!! And Danny gets to the ropes, and then another change of advantage with a Williams counter... but the submissions and using his right arm are having an effect on the champion. OH MY GOD! COUNTER! FALL FROM GRACE! THIS IS IT, MOTHERFUCKER!

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

THREE!!

 

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?!?!?!

 

WHAT!?!?!?! YOU BASTARD!

 

...

 

Kibs is calm and looks to get the Rough Redemption cranking.

 

...

 

Danny slides out of the move!

 

DANGEROUS BACKDROP, DANGEROUS FUCKING BACKDROP!! KIBS KICKS OUT! FUCKING HELL! HIS NECK WAS JUST KILLED!

 

Oh my god, oh my god, fucking intense shit right here. Sensational atmosphere, I have been consumed by this match, fucking intense! Oooooooh, you’re not doing this to me! Both men are down and there’s a ten count! I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, but goddamn is it effective in creating suspense in a match. Add the constant crowd chanting and you have something atmosphere heavy. Oh god, Danny is the first to get up, but wait, he falls victim to a fujiwara armbar! ..Danny gets to the ropes!

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

No fucking way.

 

RIOT OF THE BLOOD! This match is FUCKING OVER! At least, I think it is. What the hell? Kibs is going up top... that’s two aerial moves in this match, what the fuck is going on?

 

YEAR OF THE DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

VJNGHISAG BAIGFBERAG REOPAVA!!!!!!!!!

 

ONE! TWO! THREE! SILENT WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

There is no reminder to watch Lockdown to close the show tonight. There is simply a shot of Kibagami standing triumphant after fourteen years, the most prestigious prize in the business wrapped around his waist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is high time.

 

---

 

Sensational. Fucking sensational. This match makes me want to start a feud with you right now. This match was intense right from the get go, especially with the constant changes of dommie and subbie... to be honest, I was worried you couldn’t keep it up for the rest of the match and still have it remain fresh. To my pleasant surprise, you did manage to keep it up for the rest of the match and blew me the fuck away with the one of the most dramatic finishes I’ve read in a while. You wrote the perfect “wrestling opera” as it dripped with... not so much emotion, but sheer fucking intensity, it had a developed plot (if just a little thin) and had some intelligent and psychology based wrestling. Your psych also played a part in the finish, which is of utmost importance. This match actually reminded me very much of Crow vs Sean Atlas, particularly when it came to the epic ‘feel’ of the contest and the back-and-forth wrestling style. The endings were also very similar with both Crow and Kibs busting out a devastating move. However, the difference between the matches is that you have a much cleaner and better flowing writing style – I rarely got confused and could follow the action with ease. You have some style, yo. Your commentary was also spot on, as it not only provided much needed insight into the match but it also remained within the commentator's characters and never was too serious... there was always a fun joke or amusing comment to bring the lightheartedness. Overall, you've created a fucking sensational match... I really can't say anything else. You put Danny over and made him look extremely strong, even in a losing effort, and wrote the match in such a way that it managed to capture the reader's attention and keep it fixed until the very last line. Bravo. Dang, other than that, I really don't know what to say. You put your fucking guts into this match, I can tell, and you've also inspired me to pick my ass up and put some fucking heart into it. I thank you for that.

 

Now, review my fucking match, you cunt.

[Ace309 0]

The Recap

in which I reduce the match to something you can skim while getting head

 

Collar-and-elbow tie to open up, and Spike goes straight for the headlock. Rope break before the count. I might not have used the “Landon is weak” line right before Landon just basically says, “Why, no, you may not roll me to my back.” I’d have been more inclined to have Landon wrap an arm around the waist or do some other physical counter, just for consistency. That’s just a minor quibble, though. I’m also digging the foreshadowing of the choke.

 

Landon slaps for offense, and I’m a fan of the dick heels. He fires Spike up, and I like where this is going. Another collar-and-elbow, and back to the headlock, where Spike keeps it for the five-count this time. This is actually a pretty good use of the face-underdog-holding-the-headlock spot that everyone fought over last week, although I would have liked it if you were a bit more explicit about Landon being able to outclass Holly before establishing it.

 

Landon slaps for off- nope. Spike blocks it and elbows out! And boy, is he mad. He hits another side headlock and finally takes it to the mat, where he starts attacking Landon’s neck (by which I assume you mean really working the headlock with Landon in bad position to defend it). Landon rolls through for 2, but Spike reasserts the headlock and gets back in position. Landon’s selling this headlock like he’s being stretched six ways to Sunday. Landon manages to elbow Spike enough to distract him and get to his feet, then careens into the ropes. Landon’s a little desperate here, and this time Spike breaks quickly. (That doesn’t seem right to me. I think that for what you’re doing Spike probably should have held the headlock for the four-and-a-half-count again… there’s not much difference, emotionally, for Spike between the second and third rope breaks. That’s just my interpretation, though.)

 

Spike grabs another headlock and tries for the takeover, but Landon hooks the ropes (and thank god the match is developing). Landon hits the Landon Eye to take control, and despite his status as the more talented of the two, he’s hitting big shit. Makes sense, considering the headlock sequence at the beginning. Landon, though, staggers to the corner to recuperate. He’s up before Spike, though, and hits a powerslam. Goes to the top, and misses the flying headbutt, then sells the neck like Andre’s been choking him.

 

Double sell, and then SpikeBerg hits the spear! Alright, that works. And he continues his offensive run with a DDT, attacking Landon’s neck again. The DDT allows him to float over into a guillotine choke, and Landon taps.

 

The Analysis

in which I pretend my opinion matters

 

I noted some things I thought were wrong with the headlock, psychologically. Now, let me just say… by my wordcounter, you had a 3115-word match, of which 2158 was from bell to bell and 1373 was the initial headlock sequence. The headlock was well-written – the whole match was, actually, and I’m very impressed – but it was too long for the match. You used about 1000 words for entrances and aftermath, which is a pretty safe amount, but when you were trying to build the sort of match you seemed to be getting at, it might have been safer to trim down the entrances a little to leave yourself a few more words. Then, when you still needed more words, you definitely should have looked at the headlock spot and trimmed it down to maybe 67-75% of its length. You didn’t leave yourself any space to go anywhere with it.

 

And with that in mind, I don’t think Landon got enough offense in. His one offensive sequence was pretty bone-dry. He doesn’t suffer for that, because he was working smart in the headlock – he kept himself from getting thrown for quite a while, worked to the ropes instead of trying to outpower Spike and eventually countered out of it. Still, when Landon finally got control, he hit the Landon Eye and a powerslam, and that was it. He had 340 words of offense, including the commentary following his missing the Disciple Flying Headbutt. Landon’s a pretty solid competitor, and I think he deserved to be in control a bit longer, especially considering the way he seemed to be treated in the opening.

 

The finish was Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. Spike’s continuing to get himself over as technically capable, even if sometimes he still makes mistakes (ie, going for the headlock takeover while Landon’s still closer to the ropes). I was talking to Rotten in chat the other night, so I’m reminded here of Jay Dawg’s ascension from dumbass jobber to someone who actually has a really good mind for martial arts action. If you keep working and asking for feedback, you can definitely improve, but it’s important to remember that the story of the match is about the other guy, too.

 

Overall, ** for a match with some psychological errors where the opening ran way too long.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Huh? Who's Kibagami?

 

 

 

Fuckin' sweet, man. Now just hold onto that thing for a few defenses and you'll be ultimokingpimpswift9000.