Slickster 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 I bet she wears those granny panties and those 1920s bathing suits too. Cause that's what prudish virgins do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChick 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 And just so you guys know: I have a fatass too. All prudish virgins do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 - Never bring a cake to the ring, since it's probably going to wind up in your face. Similarly, never bring a trophy in either, it WILL get smashed (probably over your head if it's small enough). - Anything can be settled with a wrestling match. Love triangles, power struggles, evil undead sibling rivalries, Japanese shampoo commercial contract disputes, you name it. - Weddings = *snore*. Weddings + midgets = RATINGS BONANZA~! - You can be buried in a glass coffin of cement, and survive with "serious injuries". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook Report post Posted August 27, 2004 Tape on the ribs heals EVERYTHING. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 27, 2004 You can survive a 30 foot drop inside a car from a fork lift. When someone says They are going to lay the smackdown on your crippled ass, they ram you with a semi. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisMWaters 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 And just so you guys know: I have a fatass too. All prudish virgins do. I think I'm in love. ^^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 Flat metal objects (chairs, ringposts, steps, title belts, the ramp) can cut you open. The forehead is the only place most wrestlers can bleed from. Doing a 360 degree flip before jumping on someone is DEADLY. The ankle lock really does hurt. DTA- Don't Trust Anybody. Referees are easily distractable. If you're a good guy, cheating is good and perfectly moral. If you're a baddie, cheating is evil and inexcusable. If you have entrance music, you can magically turn it on and off whenever you want to enter a room (or, do a run-in), even if it's the most unexpected entrance (or run-in). It doesn't matter what occupation you work in, be it binman, taxman, member of the armed forces, clown etc. ...you can easily become a wrestler. Oh, and it doesn't matter that you never actually DO that job because you're at wrestling events every day of the week. Japanese people are either evil or they want to be American. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 Tape on the ribs heals EVERYTHING. Corollary: they most often heal the ever-cryptic "internal injuries," which I bet would be a passable reason to skip school. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AnonymousBroccoli 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 A kick to the gut is the ultimate way to temporarily stun someone. Running across the ring twice, halting your momentum to do a silly pose, then dropping an elbow will deal extra pain to the victim. Wearing Reebok Pumps gives you super strength. A neckbreaker will not literally break your neck. At least not for long. See also: Backbreaker, Gutbuster, Brainbuster, Spinebuster, etc. If you were burnt as a child, later in life, you will be able to make fire burst out of the same 4 places, every week, simply by raising, then quickly lowering your arms. Various "splash" moves, ironically, do not involve any water. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dewe 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 It's always 1997 in Canada. Edit: Oh, and I also learned that everybody's got a price, everybody's gotta pay because the million dollar man always gets his way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedHermit 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2004 I learned from wrestling: The way NOT to pronounce "feces". Undead brothers can shoot lightning out of their hands. No one ever truly has a baby in wrestling. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Masked Man of Mystery 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 I've learned to never ever punch a balding blond man with an extreme tan and a handlebar mustache who favors the colors yellow and red, particularly if he's shaking. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Even if my leg is broken, I'll still have enough strength in it to jump off of a 5-foot high pole and do a flip halfway across the ring. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 I've learned that women I don't like are "jezebels". I've learned that if I don't like my boss, I should just challenge him to a steel cage match for control of the company. I've learned that a title belt is the MOST DEVASTATING WEAPON _EVER_~!~!~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Niggardly King 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Every Japanese wrestler speaks Engrish Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Paul H. Report post Posted August 28, 2004 The stronger you are ..literally ..ripped...the better your life is. Politics and freinds will get you far in life. Training &Talnet mean shit. Women are just ey-candy. Yes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 28, 2004 A punch from a boxer can knock you out cold (see Buster Douglas/Savage; Tyson/HBK), but apunch from anyone else just knocks you back half an inch, if any. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Sleepers REALLY don't work well...guys usually make a big comeback right after being put in them! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cuban Linx 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Any non-American is automatically an evil foreigner and acts in the most stereotypical ways possible. And if you piss off your boss, no matter who you are you're sent to face a 7 Foot murdering necrophiliac nutsack-electrifying ugly-female impregnating arsonist in red and black bondage gear with magically dissapearing burns, the ability to shoot lightning, project his flashbacks to a national television audience and command fire to appear at any time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 A legdrop from a 50 year-old man is more devastating than one from a 500-pound fat guy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Buzz 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Wrestling has taught me many lessons, some already mentioned in the post. But the one lesson I've learned over and over again in the past 17 years of watching..... Sting is the most gullible man on Earth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Sabu has a pact with God to never, ever die. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLAGIARISM! 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Godsmack have a fucking unplugged album. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted August 28, 2004 Sabu has a pact with God to never, ever die. Add Jake Roberts to that list. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted August 29, 2004 Sting is the most gullible man on Earth. How did we all miss THAT? The only time I think he DIDN'T fall for it was with Elizabeth at Starrcade '99 when he gave her "pepper spray", then she turned on him and it ended up being silly string. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2004 Of course Sting ended up getting his ass kicked anyway. Bah well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Just John 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2004 The only crime that will get you arrested is vandalizing a car. Cameramen are extremely difficult to notice (One explantaion for wrestlers revealing their evil plans on tv) No one in the back actually watches the show (The only other reason) If you hate your boss, it's ok to beat him up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BHK 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2004 It's always 1997 in Canada. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2004 Heel tag teams may switch in and out freely with the referee trusting them when they claim to have tagged during a period when he wasn't looking. However, said referee will physically restrain a face tag partner if he didn't see the tag. When a wrestler is thrown into the ropes, he will ALWAYS bounce back. Your theme music will always hit the moment you come from behind the curtain, no matter if you have a match or are running in at any random time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2004 My new suitemate is a guy from Memphis who owns a guitar. I'm steering clear of THAT motherfucker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
