Worst thing you ever laughed at?

[cbacon 0]

Last week one of the cooks at work squirted a waitress in the eye with vinegar. Good times.

[Damaramu 0]

We had this like moral teacher or something in High School. He came and just talked to us about life and taught us good ways to live it....or something.

Anyways he was recounting a story from his youth about how he had an electric blanket that set his brand new house on fire....I just cracked up right there in the middle of class. Everyone turned and gave me a dirty look but by this time I was beat red and crying b/c I was laughing so hard.

[theintensifier 0]

I've been laughing the entire time reading this thread.

 

I too have a very morbid sense of humor, always have, always will.

 

Here's some of the highlights of my morbid sense of humor:

 

There was a major fat women at the restaurant I used to work at, and she tried sitting in a lawn chair we had at the break table, and she got stuck. I can just remember walking by, and seeing her trying to pull it off, and she was pretty much squealing too.

 

The guy who was training me in the kitchen was showing me how to clean and keep the fryers running properly. He forgot to shut the valve, and the grease (not hot) was pouring out all over him, and he had no clue, even when I jumped back when a little bit of it got on me. Needless to say, I made a smart assed remark to him "Are you supposed to let it run on your legs like that?!" He wasn't too happy, but I couldn't stop laughing. I was even laughing when he made me mop it up.

 

At school, there was this pretty overweight teacher, and he was explaining something I can't remember, anyway, he went to sit down, and a button flew off his shirt, and on to my desk, since I was right in front of him. He was so embarassed, so, I decided to get up, and hand it back to him and smoggly said "I think this belongs to you!"

 

Everytime I go into the local Sub Way, there is this girl who works there, and she has the most facial hair I have ever seen on a woman. The first time I saw her, I was like "hey what's up dude?......WHOA....sorry!" Everytime I see her, I try really hard not to laugh, and she knows it too, which makes it all that funnier.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Roy getting bit by his pet tiger.

[The Czech Republic 0]

At school, there was this pretty overweight teacher, and he was explaining something I can't remember, anyway, he went to sit down, and a button flew off his shirt, and on to my desk, since I was right in front of him. He was so embarassed, so, I decided to get up, and hand it back to him and smoggly said "I think this belongs to you!"

My math teacher from freshman year was so morbidly obese, it was scary.

[King Kamala 0]

My younger brother's friends had a morbidly obese teacher last year and during the middle of class the teacher's pants fall down. Now the question is, where do you get pants so loose that they're too big for a morbidly obese guy?

[Paul Stanley 0]

I was sitting on the bus and this large, old bearded guy was carrying 4 large and heavy walgreens bags. In the process of getting up and walking to the door one of the bags broke, some people helped him tie a knot in one and he proceeded to go, he then falls down the steps and tumbles over the side while an old lady sitting next to me goes "oh nooo"

 

I turned away and smirked, trying not to laugh, and started reading my book again, as i got off the bus i laughed for about 15 damn minutes.

[Guest Failed Mascot]

A woman who was at least in her late 60s falling off a bus and landing face first with her cane flying one way and the bags of stuff she bought flying in another direction.

[Just John 0]

For something that's just comical, I laughed at my aunt getting clotheslined by a tree branch on a double-decker bus.

 

For stuff that's just evil and shouldn't be laughed at, too many to count. Some examples:

 

A girl at our school died in October 2002 in a car wreck. I commented to my friends "I hope she wasn't driving with Kane."

 

Trying not to laugh at a down syndrome parapalegic who takes tickets at a theatre that another friend (not present) had previously made fun of. My friend that was with me said "Just don't look at him," even though it was a woman, and I just exploded.

[Brett Favre 0]

This guy had some rather large luggage with him. He let go of the luggage, and just slowly collapsed to the floor. The thing is, he just fell. IN SLOW MOTION. It was one of the funnier things i've ever seen. My friends and I just exploded, although I thought we should have helped him then. He was fine though.

 

Also, I guess people that are unfortunate and make funny sounds is something I am ashamed to have laughed at. Doesn't happen all the time though.

[Addy 0]

On the bus a few years back, this grumpy old guy gets on. This kid aged about 15 is staring at him. Old guy snaps and asks him what he's looking at. The kids Mum asks him not to speak to her son like that. As cool as can be the man turns around and calmy says: "You're son looks like a Monkey."

 

I was doubled over with laughter.

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

I wasn't paying attention in English class one day in 9th grade.

 

We had just finished reading "Of Mice and Men" and were watching the movie version with John Malkovich as Lennie the retard.

 

I was doodling or something, and all of a sudden I look up and George blows Lennie's head off with a shotgun.

 

I *crack* the fuck up.

 

Everyone turns and stares at me with a confused look. I'm about to have a heart attack.

 

"WHAT? That was GREAT!"

[Shooting Star 0]

This one time in one of my classes we were reading out loud from some book and it was my turn and when I was getting to the next page and started reading I accidentally skipped about 10 pages and when the teacher told me I started cracking up.

[Tawren 0]

In English class in Grade 11, we listened to a guest speaker talking to us about why drinking and driving is wrong. He said, "every 20 minutes someone dies from drinking and driving." My friend Dane asked him for proof, and the guy got mad and said "it's a fact you little piss-ant", which everyone laughed at. Dane then said, "in 20 minutes, I'm going to get drunk and run you over", to which I was the only one who laughed. The guy was very mad.

 

Hilarious.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

My college roommate's 9/11 coverage drinking game.

[muzz 0]

Whenever someone says Zuchini.

[The Mandarin 0]

My friend Dane asked him for proof, and the guy got mad and said "it's a fact you little piss-ant", which everyone laughed at. Dane then said, "in 20 minutes, I'm going to get drunk and run you over",

 

In terms of quality, I once broke up laughing at a horrid educational movie because it was so 80's.

 

In terms of inappropriate laughter, too much to name, but most recently I laughed at a homeless person attacking an xylophone.

[elite 0]

'Round these parts, there's this local woman who must've had part of her skull removed at some point because she has a decent sized cave-in on the right side of her head. I call her "Dent Lady", which isn't highly original but still makes me smirk just the same.

[Special K 0]

This isn't wrong in anyway, but following up on educational films, we had a physics film from probably the early 50's. They couldn't afford to do second takes, so it included such lovely moments as several times the professor really screwing up his lines, and setting the table on fire. The best moment occured follows:

 

Nerdy prof is delivering lecture on behaviour of light. Phone starts ringing. Prof tries to ignore it. Finally to his small, mute assistant: 'Could you GET that?'

Assistant walks off to right. Prof continues for a few seconds. We can hear his assistant talking softly in the background. A few seconds later, assistant emerges from from the right and delivers his only line: 'It's for you.'

For a beat the prof just stares murder at his assistant and then slowly takes the phone.

'Hello. yes. yes. I'm REALLY busy right now. no. Look I'm making a film. I'll call you back.

 

The whole class was dying.

[Guest BDC]

I felt horrible about this one.

 

Jim Norton posted a link on his blog to a song that's a parody of 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite" about Christopher Reeve. "If I fell off my horse, will you still call me..." etc. I felt like such a bastard for laughing at it.

 

The man died 3 days later.

[Guest T®ITEC]

10th grade history class. I'm enjoying some Kool-Aid powder 'cause I'm like that. I give some to my friend Laura, and she starts to fucking choke on it. She runs out of the classroom, the teacher runs after her, and I'm like the only one laughing. I was about to die of oxygen depravation from laughing so hard.

[1234-5678 0]

My college roommate's 9/11 coverage drinking game.

Explain..........

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

I've got a couple that both sound really bad in hindsight, but had me dying laughing when I heard them.

 

- In high school, one of our friends had a really geeky brother who used to hang around us. We even developed an alter-ego for him, a stealth superhero named "Ninja Tom."

 

Well one weekend, Tom and a friend were working on a motorcycle together. Tom's friend attempts to drive it off, gets hit by a car and dies.

 

The following Monday morning Tom shows up at school. My buddy turns to him and in serious voice says, "You sabotaged his bike, didn't you Ninja Tom?"

 

- About a year ago, a girl from my area was kidnapped and missing for a while. It was later revealed that she was killed, but we didn't know it yet at the time. Well, a few of my friends knew who she was because our buddy had hooked up with her a few times.

 

Well one night we are watching the news and they are showing home video footage of the girl, to which my friend turns to me and says "They should of showed the footage I took of me fucking her."

 

Truly great stuff.

[Ted the Poster 0]

I felt horrible about this one.

 

Jim Norton posted a link on his blog to a song that's a parody of 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite" about Christopher Reeve. "If I fell off my horse, will you still call me..." etc. I felt like such a bastard for laughing at it.

 

The man died 3 days later.

Don't feel bad. It's a hilarious song.

[Vampiro69 0]

Easy.  When JFK Jr.'s plane went down, I laughed.

I agree. So the guy died in a plane wreck. That sucks. But to see people that never knew him crying was plain stupid. I mean the only reason he was famous was because his father was a womanizing president who was assinated. If it would have been any other former presidents kid that died nobody would have given a fuck.

[SpikeFayeJettEdBebop 0]

Whenever I make fun of someone that I should with a clever remark(This happens often, and I personally like my sense of humour, so its cool)

 

An example of this that happened tonight at a "Nutcracker" Ballet that I went to for a girlfriend of mine....

 

Ex 1- There was a small asian kid right at the front of a stage wearing really silly shoes and a silly shirt(Kinda like one that you would stereotypically see a small Asian boy wearing in a movie). And as all the other dancers danced behind him, all he did was bow. Over and over again. And I swear, 1/3 of the times, he almost fucking fell FOWARD off of the stage.

 

Ex 2(This ones the best)-At the same dance, there was a REALLY fat girl. Not only did we think this was hillarious when we saw her(Yeah it's fucked up, and I used to be fat, but eitherway, im an ass). But then, it got much better as I said:

 

"Dude, imagine if she like jumped up like the rest of those little dancers, but she crashed back down through the wood floor.Then imagine that smoke came out of the hole, as if it was on fire. And out of no where, that fat girl starting making dragon noises"

 

Yeah, some people might think it's lame, but it was hillarious at the time, we just starting laughing. Also, I laugh at bald people that look funny, and rednecks that look and act funny(There are alot around here, although, I only hang out with one redneck, so its fine).

 

Oh yeah, and lastly, the fact that we went to this thing dressed in business suits(No one else was dressed up at all) and we kept walking around talking about "recent deals" we had made, and business propositions and so on. It was funny at the time considering the dance and everythign happened at my high school where im a freshmen.

[Guest Banders Kennany]

It would be tough to pick out the worst thing I ever laughed at, but once my aunt was playing "whoopsie daisy" (that game where you throw a baby in the air a little and catch it to make it laugh) and she did one whoopsie daisy and totally missed catching my little 12-month-old cousin and he slams against the ground. I started howling in laughter and if I had milk, it would have probably sprayed from my nose like a garden hose. I felt bad for laughing at that. He had to go to the hospital and we were worried for a while, but he ended up okay.

[Richard 0]

It would be tough to pick out the worst thing I ever laughed at, but once my aunt was playing "whoopsie daisy" (that game where you throw a baby in the air a little and catch it to make it laugh) and she did one whoopsie daisy and totally missed catching my little 12-month-old cousin and he slams against the ground. I started howling in laughter and if I had milk, it would have probably sprayed from my nose like a garden hose. I felt bad for laughing at that. He had to go to the hospital and we were worried for a while, but he ended up okay.

your cousin

[BX 0]

I heard a story recently about a local kid who was a total sociopath. He used to mutilate small animals. When they told me he buried a cat up to it's neck in dirt and ran over it's head with a lawn mower, I lost it.

 

Also, this happened about three months back. A friend of mine went through a messy break-up, and her birthday was coming up. So he says, "I'm gonna get that bitch a present." The next day, she comes into the coffee house all upset because someone had thrown a gift-wrapped brick through her window. After she left the room, I started laughing uncontrollably on and off for about 15 minutes.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A gift-wrapped brick? That's actually pretty clever.