Guest BillyTheStud Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Apparently this is the world's funniest joke. The last time I went on holiday, I flew with BA. He kept shouting:"You crazy foo'. I ain't gettin' on no plane!"
2GOLD Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Two men walk into a bar. Michael Jackson. There.
Slayer Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
Youth N Asia Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 What do you call a black guy that flies a plane for a living? A pilot, you fucking racist!
Tawren Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 How come the underage kid couldn't get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated ARRRRRRR!
Guest Smues Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Two ducks walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have a rum and coke." The second one says "Holy shit a talking duck!"
King Cucaracha Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Apparently this is the world's funniest joke. The last time I went on holiday, I flew with BA. He kept shouting:"You crazy foo'. I ain't gettin' on no plane!" When I heard it, I laughed. Did you get it (the bit about BA being British Airways), or just not find it funny?
Shooting Star Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 I actually laughed at those....am I not cool?
Ted the Poster Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Two snare drums and a cymbal are dropped on the floor. Ba-dum chhh! Man: I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. Doctor: That's a big decision. Have you gone over it with your family? Man: Yeah, they're in favor of it 15-7. How do you fit ten babies into a glove compartment? With a blender. How do you get those same babies out? Tostitos!
Nighthawk Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Oh, we're doing dead baby jokes? I got a million. What do you get when you stab a baby fifteen times with a butcher knife? A hard-on.
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Man: I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. Doctor: That's a big decision. Have you gone over it with your family? Man: Yeah, they're in favor of it 15-7. I may be too dense to get this, but why is this funny?
Vyce Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Everyone loves a good joke about the death or mutilation of a child. Q: How do you make a 5 year old cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. What do you call a black guy that flies a plane for a living? A pilot, you fucking racist! A.....pilot? I don't get it.
Youth N Asia Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Posted March 26, 2005 Report Posted March 26, 2005 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Ravenbomb Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 How do you fit 6 million jews in a car? In the ashtray
Nighthawk Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 I think that one could be improved. No way you could fit 6 million bodies worth of ashes in an ash tray. In that spirit, though; What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Mole Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 Q: How do you make a 5 year old cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear. Wow, that is horribly awesome.
Ted the Poster Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. How do you tell if a pedophile is Jewish? He haggles with a kid over the amount of candy.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 What's brown and sticky? A STICK!
Ted the Poster Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 What looks like Matthew Lillard and isn't funny? Why, Matthew Lillard of course.
Ace309 Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 How do you make a duck sing soul? - Put it in a pot with some water. Cover it, then simmer till it's Bill Withers.
Giuseppe Zangara Posted March 27, 2005 Report Posted March 27, 2005 A guy and his girlfriend were having sex. Midway through, he pulls out, flips her over and finishes off in her ass. A little bit later, she turned to him and said, "that was a little presumptious, what you did back there," to which he responds, "Presumptious? That's an awfully big word for a ten-year-old."
Ravenbomb Posted March 28, 2005 Report Posted March 28, 2005 What did the German say to the black jew? "Get in the back of the oven!"
Nighthawk Posted March 28, 2005 Report Posted March 28, 2005 A guy and his girlfriend were having sex. Midway through, he pulls out, flips her over and finishes off in her ass. A little bit later, she turned to him and said, "that was a little presumptious, what you did back there," to which he responds, "Presumptious? That's an awfully big word for a ten-year-old." I've heard a better version of this, but I can't remember it. Hey, do you know how breakdancing was invented? Black guy trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.
Guest BDC Posted March 28, 2005 Report Posted March 28, 2005 My old roommate's favorite joke: What's better than sex? Sex with an 8 year old girl. What's better than sex with an 8 year old girl? Sex with an 8 year old boy. What's better than sex with an 8 year old boy? Nothing.
Skywarp! Posted March 28, 2005 Report Posted March 28, 2005 What is long, green and flies? Super Pickle. Why does Dracula drink blood? 'Cause root beer makes him burp. Why was George Washington buried on Mount Vernon? Because he was dead. *runs from thread*
Crimson Platypus Posted March 28, 2005 Report Posted March 28, 2005 What's the worst part about sex with a 7 year old girl? Getting the blood off of your clown costume. Whats the best part about sex in the shower with a 12 year old girl? Slick her hair back and she looks like a 10 year old boy. How do you starve a Mexican? Hide his food stamps under his work boots. Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of 4.
Toshiaki Koala Posted March 31, 2005 Report Posted March 31, 2005 Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black.
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