Who Will Test Positive For Steroids?

[Guest thebadguy76]

I was bored so I grouped the WWE roster into 3 categories:

 

JUICED TO THE GILLS

 

Bobby Lashley (most obvious, the guy has a cool look but also looks like a roid freak)

Chris Masters

Kurt Angle

Batista

Chris Benoit

Matt Hardy

Booker T

Val Venis

Snitsky

Randy Orton

The Boogeyman

Hardcore Holly

Rene Dupree

Orlando Jordan

Rob Conway

Doug Basham

Tyson Tomko

Road Warrior Animal

Paul Burchill

Johnny Parisi

 

COULD BE ON THE JUICE

 

Kane

Big Show

Edge

John Cena

M & M

Heidenreich

Sylvan Grenier

Lance Cade

Shelton Benjamin

Gregory Helms

Rey Misterio Jr.

 

DEFINITELY NOT ON THE JUICE

 

JBL

Trevor Murdoch

Tajiri

Carlito

Rosey

Viscera

Ken Kennedy

Ric Flair

Eugene

Shawn Michaels

Simon Dean

William Regal

Steven Richards

All of the lightweights

[cabbageboy 0]

Carlito could use being on the juice actually, the dude has zero physique.

 

What makes you think Ken Kennedy is 100% clean while Paul Burchill (similar size) is on the juice? Stevie Richards is also a lot bigger now than he was in ECW.

[swan 0]

I don't think Cena is on steroids, sure he's big and ripped, but he just doesn't have that crazy bulging look. But hey, what do I know

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

He competed as a "natural" body builder before he became a wrestler, for what it's worth.

[LJSexay 0]

why consider Val Venis? He may be cut, but he is lean.

[CBright7831 0]

You left out one important player:

 

[Dangerous A 0]

DEFINITELY NOT ON THE JUICE

 

JBL

Trevor Murdoch

Tajiri

Carlito

Rosey

Viscera

Ken Kennedy

Ric Flair

Eugene

Shawn Michaels

Simon Dean

William Regal

Steven Richards

All of the lightweights

 

 

My ass he's not. Dude is big and has 7 different kinds of Backne and even Chestne. He's puffy. Trust me, he's on the juice.

 

If guys really get off stuff, physiques are really going to be fun to watch. We'll be getting Lashley vs Misterio in no time, being that Lashley is 75% chemicals, (being that he competed in amateur at 177 ibs) and the Dicks (Tolands) are going to start looking like ROH guys, except with no in ring ability.

[Si82 0]

COULD BE ON THE JUICE

 

Kane

Big Show

Edge

John Cena

M & M

Heidenreich

Sylvan Grenier

Lance Cade

Shelton Benjamin

Gregory Helms

Rey Misterio Jr.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[haws bah gawd 0]

 

No way in hell that big sumbitch on the right isnt on the roids.

[Vigo 0]

Snitsky could stop using steroids and he'd still be a scary looking fucker.

[Just John 0]

Booker T should be in the "Could Be" group at worst. He has a lean, muscular build that's very believably natural. At no point in his career has he ever put on substantial mass. I think Orton's in the same boat.

[Team Angle Pusher 0]

Why is Doug Basham on the juice? Also I don't think Orton is using it for some reason.

[Guest Brian]

The reason that I doubt Cena is, is because dude used to be a lot bigger.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Is Vince McMahon exempt from testing?

 

If so, he'll finally be able to live out his fantasy of being the most physically awesome specimen in WWE.

 

Which means... Vince is going to give the monster push to HIMSELF.

 

And NEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

WWE Champion....Vince McMahon!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Oh jeez, not again.

[naiwf 0]

Orton may not be using now, but he definitely did before his shoulder surgery. He looked to be at least 20-30 pounds bigger before hand, and it was all muscle. The interaction he had with Vince where McMahon was picking on him when he wore a suit or a shirt that was at least two sizes two big even made my mother notice he'd lost a lot of mass.

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

DEFINITELY NOT ON THE JUICE

 

JBL

Trevor Murdoch

Tajiri

Carlito

Rosey

Viscera

Ken Kennedy

Ric Flair

Eugene

Shawn Michaels

Simon Dean

William Regal

Steven Richards

All of the lightweights

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'd wager Flair is definetely on something.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Road Warrior Animal is on the juice??!!

[Jericho2000Mark 0]

JBL

Trevor Murdoch

Tajiri

Carlito

Rosey

Viscera

Ken Kennedy

Ric Flair

Eugene

Shawn Michaels

Simon Dean

William Regal

Steven Richards

All of the lightweights

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Just because someone isn't huge(or cut) doesn't mean they aren't on roids. Look at Jamie Noble... I'd wager most of the cruiserweights are on roids because they're trying to bulk up enough so Vince may consider pushing them.

 

The only thing keeping Flair's tits from flopping everywhere is the juice.

[Karc 0]

Here's my problem with this policy, and sports by extension.

 

McMahon wants his guys to look like they do. Steroids is the easy way to get there. The problem I have is that the product still sucks. When Chris Masters, Ken Kennedy, Gene Snitsky, Kane, Triple H, and Sylvain Grenier all get big pushes despite the fact the ONLY difference in their look is their face, I get bored. It's bad enough that it's a freakshow of bodybuilders who want to be wrestlers with no talent, but it's worse when it's consistant across the board. Then the smaller guys have to compensate their skill to look half as decent, either by juicing up or doing the extreme moves (Shelton, Jericho, Angle killing himself), and they have to resort to painkillers, because no body can naturally take that kind of abuse.

 

Yeah, I gave up on WWE a couple of years ago because the writing flat-out sucked for me to the point where I couldn't be bothered with it. But I won't jump to TNA either and see a 200-lb guy fall face first over ten feet to a concrete floor. I don't even know who would have done that, but any TNA fan can instantly name me ten guys who would on a PPV. That scares the shit out me.

 

Same with WWE, I'm not going to hear about six skinny guys that have to be put a ladder match where everyone has to take a fall several feet onto/through a hard object. I don't pay to see stuff that requires money for painkillers or steroids when there are safer, better ways to make a great living.

 

I'm using wrestling as the example because everyone knows nothing has been or ever will be done about it, despite "policies" (aka cover from a lawsuit) being discussed. But I'm talking about all sports. Movies was that way for me too, until I found out that they actually take care of stunt doubles. I don't pay to watch people hurt themselves for something I'm not interested.

[Epic Reine 0]

As for MNM, I don't know about Mercury but I'm pretty sure Nitro is definatley on them.

 

Look at him last year when he was Bischoff's lackey and look at him now, dude gained a lot of muscle really quick.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

JBL

Trevor Murdoch

Tajiri

Carlito

Rosey

Viscera

Ken Kennedy

Ric Flair

Eugene

Shawn Michaels

Simon Dean

William Regal

Steven Richards

All of the lightweights

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Just because someone isn't huge(or cut) doesn't mean they aren't on roids. Look at Jamie Noble... I'd wager most of the cruiserweights are on roids because they're trying to bulk up enough so Vince may consider pushing them.

 

The only thing keeping Flair's tits from flopping everywhere is the juice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Putting orange juice on my nipples only made them tingle with joy, not float. Though I never tried it in the bathtub. I'll be back.

 

 

EDIT: It made the water all sticky.

[UZI Suicide 0]

I don't think many guys will test positive because I think they'll all go off (assuming Vince is serious about this), but then a few guys will try to slip through the cracks and see if they can fool the tests.

 

It is going to be REALLY interesting to see how much some of these guys start shrinking.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

John Cena has stated on OTR that he has never done steroids. I would've been skeptical, but it was the manner in which he said it that led me to believe he was telling the truth. He told Lansberg that he had a very strict diet and got big via natural means.

 

What do you think about him?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'd tend to believe, just because he has one of those bodies that looks like great genetics at work, not blown up out of control with science.

 

Also, HHH is not going to get caught in any WWE-organized steroid test for obvious reasons.

[David Blazenwing 0]

Or this could just be a case of Vince SAYS they're going to check, and never does. Then if someone says something, he can say "we're currently running tests and doing a program" and then fire a cruiserweight who "tested positive".

 

Also...

 

Is Vince McMahon exempt from testing?

 

If so, he'll finally be able to live out his fantasy of being the most physically awesome specimen in WWE.

 

Which means... Vince is going to give the monster push to HIMSELF.

 

And NEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

WWE Champion....Vince McMahon!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

You mean TWO-TIME WWE Champion Vince McMahon.

[Fro 0]

Here's what I think is an accurate list. The first thing is, pretty much everyone who came out of OVW is on roids. I see them when they first come on TV. I see them when they get called up and they always get HUGE in about 6-8 months.

 

JUICED TO THE GILLS

 

Bobby Lashley

Chris Masters

HHH

Kurt Angle

Batista

Chris Benoit

Matt Hardy

Booker T

Val Venis

Snitsky

Randy Orton

The Boogeyman

Hardcore Holly

Rene Dupree

Orlando Jordan

Rob Conway

Doug Basham

Damaja

Tyson Tomko

Sylvan Grenier

Paul Burchill

Johnny Parisi

M & M (Nitro is *HUGE* compared to a couple years ago)

Heidenreich

Edge

Kane

John Cena (although not taking nearly as much stuff as when he was freakish)

Eugene (not tan != not roided)

Ken Kennedy

Rey Misterio

Ric Flair (hence, why he doesn't look flabby anymore like in WCW)

Heart Throbs

The Dicks

Daivari

Chavo Guerrero

Matt Striker

Michael Cole

Vince McMahon

Psicosis

Vito

Mark Henry

Jamie Noble

Simon Dean (was downright chubby in ECW, ripped to the gills in OVW)

 

COULD BE ON THE JUICE

 

 

Lance Cade (probably, he was in OVW)

Shelton Benjamin (was on something in OVW while teaming with Lesnar, may be clean now)

Gregory Helms

JBL (definitely seemed to be on them in the past when he was Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw)

RVD

Shawn Michaels (definitely was on them before 1998 and in the Rockers)

Big Show

Carlito (skinny when he first came into OVW)

Juvy

Tajiri

Scotty 2 Hotty (maybe not anymore, definitely during "Too Cool" though)

Undertaker (hard to say, looks like he's been on it at times in the past. Also hard to tell with all his tats)

Nunzio

Paul London (significantly bigger in WWE than he was in ROH/TNA)

 

DEFINITELY NOT ON THE JUICE

 

 

Trevor Murdoch

Mick Foley

Rosey

Viscera

William Regal

Steven Richards

Funaki

Brian Kendrick

Super Crazy

Kid Kash

[Epic Reine 0]

Michael Cole? What reason would he have of all people to be on the juice?

[The Niggardly King 0]

It's the only thing that's keeping him on Smackdown right now.

 

If JR really would have cared, he'd be on the juice too.

[Epic Reine 0]

It's scary that you have to be juiced up in a non-wrestling role as well.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Maybe it's just me but Paul London doesn't look any bigger now than he did back then.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

I'd say Fro's list is kind of dumb. Kane is obviously gassing nowhere near as much as he used to. Shawn Michaels is built like a man made of pipe cleaners, Undertaker's had enough botched spots lifting guys that I doubt he's gassed. And I agree with LPYC about London, too.

 

 

 

Someone I think has been on it the past year or so is Coach.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

You know that Todd Grisham has to be on the juice he's huge!