Mundane Sports Achievements

[naiwf 0]

"Secondly, I made 4 straight shots from different spots along the halfcourt line while wearing a winter coat and a full bookbag."

 

Shenanigans. But either way, that's some story.

 

I won the travelling team (Varsity) middle school basketball championship, scoring ONE POINT during the entire season. I wasn't even the worst player on the team. I just never, ever got playing time, like a few others. The coach was a prick, playing starters even with a 10-pt+ lead. But sure enough, when I hit the foul shot in one game (first rd. playoffs) the place popped big-time.

 

It's legit. A lot of the guys I played with used to practice stupid shots like that. The most impressive thing I ever saw was a guy swishing two consecutive shots from the opposite free throw line but throwing the ball like a football as opposed to shooting it like a half court fling. A couple of weeks ago I hit 3 in a row from halfcourt and rimmed the 4th one. It's just like shooting really long free throws as long as no one's guarding you or the clock's running out. If you get into a rhythm you can make a couple in a row or 3 or 4 out of 5, or you could just as easily miss 20 straight. The main problem people have when taking shots from that far out is that they change their shooting motion and overshoot it.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I almost ejected a parent from a little league game today. He ran onto the field to complain about balls and strikes. I would have ejected him, but if you eject a parent then the kid has to come with him, and I don't want to take away a baseball game from a little kid. What parents don't realize is that the commissioner tells the umpires to make the strike zone huge because 8 year olds can't actually throw strikes.

[Maztinho 0]

I almost ejected a parent from a little league game today. He ran onto the field to complain about balls and strikes. I would have ejected him, but if you eject a parent then the kid has to come with him, and I don't want to take away a baseball game from a little kid. What parents don't realize is that the commissioner tells the umpires to make the strike zone huge because 8 year olds can't actually throw strikes.

 

Don't they like tell the parents that the strike zones will be huge?

 

Then again, when I was playing on my 3rd grade Jr. Jazz (Utahs basketball little league) team nobody bothered to tell me I could jump shoot for free throws until about halfway through the first game when I'd drawn like 6 fouls and gone 0-12 from the free throw line shooting flat footed.

[Guest Vitamin X]

That's funny, when I played Little League, our strike zones were pretty regular-sized.. but then again, a lot of the pitchers and generally most, if not all of the players in our league went on to play college or at the very least minor league ball, so I suppose it was a pretty talented place.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I think our memories of playing little league baseball are a little distorted, now that I've been on both sides of it. Like, today, with runners on second and third, the guy on second tried to steal third. The catcher farted around with the ball for a minute or two, as the runner from second asked the coach what to do. the catcher ran to at least the pitchers mound before throwing a bouncing ball to second base and getting the runner out. The catcher was ecstatic (and good for him) but 10 years from now, when he someday posts in a Mundane Sports Achievements thread, that's going to be a bullet, picking a guy off at second base from the backstop. I remember these games being way more fluid than this.

 

Also, no, we don't tell the parents the strike zone is big. I probably should, I'd get less assholes running onto the field.

[BruiserKC 0]

I almost ejected a parent from a little league game today. He ran onto the field to complain about balls and strikes. I would have ejected him, but if you eject a parent then the kid has to come with him, and I don't want to take away a baseball game from a little kid. What parents don't realize is that the commissioner tells the umpires to make the strike zone huge because 8 year olds can't actually throw strikes.

 

 

When I umpired Little League, I ejected a father one time. He was yelling and screaming at me the whole game, apparently I wasn't making the right calls to suit him. His son was the catcher...and it was tied when a sacrifice play brought a close bang-bang play to the plate. The catcher gets the ball and braces for the collision...the runner knocks the ball out of his glove and scores the go-ahead run. The father goes ballistic and starts swearing up a storm. I walk over calmly and tell him, "Yell at me all you want, pal...but if you taught your son the right way to block the plate with his leg he might have held onto the ball." Seconds later, I ran him.

 

Another mundale achievement...I played soccer in high school before it received sanctioned status by the state. I was a defender and helped our team go 9 matches in a row without being scored on. Then, in the 10th...I hurt my ankle early on, got it wrapped up and stayed in the game. After the final whistle, I could barely stand and I go to the hospital. Turns out I played the entire match on a broken ankle. Our coach one moment says it was the most courageous thing he'd ever seen, then he told me never to pull such a stupid stunt again.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

How old were your kids? That sounds way more mature than anything I've seen.

[Anorak 0]

One year my high school suddenly decided it would be a great idea to have a soccer tournament involving every class in our year. I wasn't actually worried at first, I foolishly assumed our class of fatties and nerds would be spared this humiliation but the powers at be were having none of it. Every other class managed to quite easily field a full 11 players (including disappointed subs) and we had to turn up with seven. After getting completely hammered the first two games we managed a turnout of just 4 (including myself) for our final game and still they made us play, on a full-size pitch no less. To make things a little fairer (or just more farcical) the other class split their side into 5 and 6 for each half. We managed a famous 2-2 draw . The 'special' class, the class with the most PE sicknotes, that didn't have a single person compete at the year end sportsday, that didn't score a point in the class basketball tournament, that owned so many damn inhalers had finally had it's glorious moment in the sun. Corny as fuck it might sound but I was genuinely proud when the final whistle went because i suppose in a funny way it wasn't a mundane achievement, at least not for the 4 of us. None of us had probably ever felt that heady rush of self-esteem flooding our veins as a result of sporting pride and as we looked over to our cheering group of lazy classmates on the sidelines, who were pissing themselves laughing at us not losing, it felt brilliant.

 

Needless to say the other class were a laughing stock for not beating us and further humilation was to follow. One little gobshite on their team spat on my best friend as he walked off the pitch. My friend was twice as big as this lad, but nobody in my class had even had a fight, much less won one, so he wouldn't have expected to be picked up in a powerbomb and dropped head first onto the concrete! Perfect post-match entertainment to a perfect game.

[Guest Hasbeen2]

Knocked two kids out, one girl, during 8th grade intramural dodgeball-a long time ago.

[King Kamala 0]

Oh I can't believe I forgot what may be my greatest mundane sports achievement.

 

7th grade gym class, we're playing dodgeball and my team is getting its ass kicked six ways to Sunday. Finally, I'm the only one left against two-thirds of the opposing team (about 10-15 kids). I manage to dodge a few balls and a jock throws one right at my chest and I know I'm a goner. I put my hands out just to soften the blow and somehow I catch it and the rest of my team comes and proceeds to kick the other teams ass.

[Guest College Party]

I just complained about this thread over in Your Motivational Posters, but like Roger Clemens, I misremembered the quality of this thread. There were only like two or three people that missed the mark. Let's revive Mundane Sports Achievements. It's been five months. Surely there's more content, right?

 

Over spring break, I forced myself to go jogging, even though there was still a great deal of residual icy-snow after that crappy late March blizzard, and it was cold as balls, especially on the lake shore. On one of the sidewalks, there was a mountain of plowed snow, probably four feet high and six feet long, maybe. Luckily, this sidewalk was on a steep incline before approaching the obstacle, so I mustered everything my legs had to offer and cleared the snow with room to spare. Sure, I landed on my left ankle funny and would've injured it had I not been blessed with unusually flexible and resilient ankles, but I did it. I was listening to "Highway to the Danger Zone."

[The Niggardly King 0]

Bowling 212 5 games in a row

 

I would then go one to barely crack 140 during the rest of my league, but maybe that's because I added alcohol to the mix, as bowling sober... what's the point?

[Red Baron 0]

In grade six, seven and eight I was considered to be one of the best chess players in each of my respectable grades. Then game Ontario championships were I got smoked.

[alfdogg 0]

Let's see if this qualifies.

 

Once in high school, I was playing basketball during lunch hour. In the gym, there are the two main baskets, which are not used during lunch hour, plus three baskets along each set of bleachers on the side. I was playing on one of the end side baskets, the middle court was unoccupied, and the guys playing on the far court lost the ball. It rolled down to me, and I picked it up and attempted to throw it into the far basket. However, I didn't throw it straight, and the ball got caught up in the cables above the middle basket, and then came down through the hoop.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

I already mentioned the MiniMasters on your behalf, Baron.

[RepoMan 0]

I won my jr. bowling league in 8th grade due to my incredibly high handicap in a league featuring Matt Compatolli.

[Guest Czech please!]

On the heels of Question of the Day's success, I feel it's time to bring back a new round of Mundane Sports Achievements. I'm moving it to NHB because not everyone goes to Sports.

 

On Saturday afternoon, I was lying in bed, watching The Simpsons, and after blowing through a disc, I was burned out on even the genius of Season 6. I have two remotes, one for the television, one for the DVD player. Both of them were beyond arm's reach, but most certainly within leg's reach. So I positioned my legs just right, wedged one foot beneath each of the remotes, and with my formidable ankle strength, flipped them both into the air at the same time and sent them hurtling right into each hand. I wish I could've said that I did something cool after that, like a flip, but I used up all my achievement on the synchronized kick-throw-catch.

 

This was a fun thread, going back and reading it.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

I have a little footstool that I made in high school and I often "pop" the remotes to my hands with a well placed heel stomp for my own self amusement. Even better when you overlaunch and have to react quickly just to snare the remote out of the air before it breaks a window.

 

My "big" achievement in 3rd grade was breaking the school bully's nose. It was 7 on 7 soccer during recess (3rd Graders vs. 4th/5th Graders) and I managed to weave around one guy and wound up... BOOM! Needless to say, I was surprised and confused when I saw the ball ricochet to the side before realizing the guy was on his knees, hands cupping his nose. Of course my friend scored the goal while everybody else stood around, smart fella.

[Maztinho 0]

I managed to toss 8 consecutive over-ripe oranges into a 2x2 box from thirty feet away last week.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

I won a pullup contest at my university fitness center. Came in second in 2 or 3 road races and won my age group a shitload of times. I was never really very good at any sports that take actual skill, but I'll out-pain your ass anyday.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Also, I've looked at all the pictures Gary Floyd likes.

[muzz 0]

I've become quite adept at tossing DVD's/DVD sleeves into the bin at work. I managed to toss one, have it spin and curl like a Frisbee and fall into the bin which was hidden behind a desk from 5 or so meters away. That was an awesome day.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I can lay a quarter on the floor of the warehouse, and flip it like a tiddlywink with the forks on a forklift in a manner where the coin lands on top of the forks.

 

Hey! So can this guy. Youtube really does have everything:

 

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Oh man, how did I miss this thread?

 

1) 7th grade rec league b-ball: I sucked @ Basketball, I was ok on Defense, but sucked on offense. Seriously, If I scored 2 points I was happy, 4 and I was ecstatic. Somehow in a scrimmage game (against some players that my team lost the league championship to the year before) I was able to score 13, and go 2 for 3 on 3 pointers.

 

2) Kickball 6th-8th grade: If you had me on your team, you were guaranteed to have me hit a home run. I think I even kicked a ball the entire length of the gym.

 

3) Volleyball 7th grade: It was homerooms against homerooms. Again, I always sucked at sports, but somehow I get up to serve and I'm unstoppable. I scored every point (we were playing to 15) on serves.

 

4) Dodgeball Elemetary School: If you could hit me with a ball, you were good. For some reason I was faster (and skinnier) when I was younger.

 

5) Just 5 mins ago: I was able to throw a paper ball over a cubicle partition into an unseen trash can.

[tonyjaymzretro 0]

most of mine are football related

 

-when i was about 12, 13 I was playing a pickup game of tackle football with other kids. I was pretty small then, and this other kid gave me some shit "You better not suck, you little pussy" or something like that. Anyways, First snap of the game, the other team pitches the ball to their HB, and I lay the guy out. He was twice my size and I fucked his world. Everyone did the whole "yeah, alright, you kcik ass" etc. etc. And I felt pretty good. I didn't do shit the rest of the gane, though.

 

-in high school i was 3rd string CB, didn't get too much playing time, usually when we were getting killed or for a play or two to rest the others. On one of those plays, the QB threw it up, I jumped up, and got it. My first and only interception ever. The best part is we went on to win that game.

 

-don't know if its sports related, but I did fucking ace in basic rifle marksmanship and got a medal for it.