Great Moments in TSM History

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

We have several history threads in NHB

[Kinetic 0]

In preparing for my contribution here, I went back and read a bunch of threads from the 2004-2006 period. It's sort of fascinating to see how much more vicious everyone was back then in contrast to how generally polite this folder is now. I attribute it to Inc posting less and Agent not being on drugs anymore.

 

I had actually never seen that Val Venis post before. That's pretty funny. And I missed Banders entirely the first time through, so I read a bunch of his threads. Had to be there, I guess.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Great, TSM finally has furry roleplay. There's no creepy Internet subset that's not here!

 

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

And nobody would rape a horse, of course

Unless of course, the horse is a whore

So now its ass is red.

 

 

I wish I could've done better but I felt this thread had gone far too long without a Mr. Ed reference.

 

I wasn't afraid of Jesus, but I hated how my church made me be in plays and choir and shit so I would pray to Satan while at church.

 

Are you kidding me?

 

I cracked open her skull, and suckled her brain goo

 

That's as close to modern day Shakespeare as you'll get.

 

The girl with two heads should give this girl a face. Greedy motherfucker.

 

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

The death of Vader.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

The death of Vader.

And now we play the waiting game...

 

Also, on that note, the reported death of Chris Masters, and subsequently JN News, was one of the best moments of the last year. Too many great things about that thread (the MSN contact, Pizza Hut's Game Face, Gargoyle Edge, The Dantaur).

[Red Baron 0]

The McKempf thread.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

The "update on the girl who was born without a face" thread turns into a fast food discussion

 

 

Actually the 1st thread is just horrid in its hilarious apathy and disgust "If an animal was born like this, it would be killed" The 1st post "It looks like Zoidburg!"

 

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=64770

[Black Lushus 0]

I tend to forget more than I can remember about this place, must be my old age, but "when I was a dog, my dog ate my dad's ring" will always make me chuckle.

[Mik 0]

From this thread:

 

"View-spamming" is picking a thread, and repeatedly hitting the F5 button, or the refresh button, until the view count is insane highly.

 

Every time the thread is "viewed," it has to be downloaded from the server. Every time it's downloaded from the server, it uses memory, which costs money.

 

 

 

SURPRISE! SERVER MEMORY IS RE-USABLE!! WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT!?!?!?!!!

 

(what you're thinking of, you fucking dolt, is bandwidth)

 

I'm sure others were doing it but I clearly remember view-spamming the shit out of this very thread. I was the first reply and then I F5'd it about 200 times.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

The McKempf thread.

Do you mean McKampf, the thread about McDonald's gassing their chickens? Yeah, that was awesome.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I remember Bruiser Chong burning New Me on his failed marriage, but I don't remember any details.

Not going to bother finding the thread, but it was when Paul ("The New Me") was moaning about how his wife was leaving/had left him. Bruiser, recalling the time he (Paul) posted his dick in Milky's cock shots thread, suggested that he could've saved his marriage if he had spent more time working on his relationship with his wife and less time posting his wang on message board frequented by teenage boys.

[BX 0]

Some good stuff here, but there's got to be more. Perhaps some MikeSC magic?

 

I think I agree with whoever said this has outgrown my signature. We do need a timeline of important TSM events.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

THE ESTABLISHMENT~

The Gnomings.

[bob_barron 0]

Why was the thread locked, and then unlocked?

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

I think it's the fact that I'm just an annoying douchebag

 

[Nighthawk 0]

Good thread.

 

At the bottom of page two and continuing to page three is my second favorite thing I've ever done on here.

 

 

[BX 0]

I think I can use something in here...

 

YES SIR I CONSIDER MYSELF PROFOUNDLY BLESSED THANK YOU SIR FOR CONDESCENDING TO REPLY TO ME.

 

Also, thank you for explaining my own reaction to me, because I don't understand the nuances of my own thought processes until I have them filtered back to me through the anti-establishment bias of some liberal arts film fucko who thinks it's edgy to criticize big business and quote cop killers. Jesus, could you be more arrogant? Almost every one of these topics you've started is prefaced with something like "please try to think about this objectively" or "set aside your preconceptions and really consider this for a change;" the tacit assumption being that none of us are really giving critical thought to the issue unless we're seeing things the same way you and your hippie idols do. Like your logic is so PRISTINE and UNASSAILABLE that all you have to do is borrow a quotation from one of your third rate socialist lice farms, present it to us with a sage wink and nod, advise us all to think long and hard and then prance off to FAIRYLAND to bask in self-contentment while the INEVITABLE TRUTH penetrates our THICK, WAGE-SLAVE SKULLS.

 

Okay, here goes, I'm thinking critically about what you posted:

 

You're an idiot.

 

BLUH FLUH CORPORATIONS ARE EVIL DURR FLURR RACIST IMPERIALIST HEGEMONY AND OTHER SOCIALIST CATCHPHRASES. IN RELATED NEWS: DIALECTICAL MATERIALISM AND SALTY HOT HORSE COCKS

 

Does that pretty much sum it up? The world as we know it is just the superstructure that has been pulled over our eyes to keep us from discovering the truth of the base OMG THE MATRIX IS REAL!!!@ You're regurgitating the same pinko propaganda circulating every liberal college campus across North America, and it's not revolutionary, it's common and shopworn: big business bad, redistribution of wealth good, MASSIVE MEAT PISTON IN MY TAN ONE CYLINDER OH SO VERY MUCH BETTER. There's a reason we're not falling at your feet for descending from your blue-veined ivory tower and distributing these pearl necklaces of wisdom, and it isn't because we're BLIND CAPITALIST SHEEP tranquilized by our televisions. It's because we've painstakingly analyzed your arguments and decided, independent of any brainwashing by THE MAN, that you're completely goofy. We did this back when the arguments were new, and being expounded by their original authors. If you're going to jerk off in our faces, you could at least have the courtesy to use your own fucking dick.

 

I got the mock advertisement, okay? I didn't need empty generalizations like "slick oil-crats" to clarify, it was fucking crystalline the first time. Here is what it was not:

 

A) Funny.

B) Insightful.

C) Heterosexual.

 

 

<<You percieve I'm "shitting on the United States". I tell you to think about what I posted and not post a knee-jerk, "patriotic" response, and that's what I get. [...] I love America. >>

 

I must've misunderstood the part about Uncle Sam being a drug addict and America bringing the 9-11 attacks on itself, then. That was actually quite complimentary of the United States, was it? TIP: expressions of sympathy over the attacks and love for the nation will be a lot more convincing if you're not simultaneously saying BY GOD WE FUCKING DESERVED IT and posting a slew of largely irrelevant pseudofacts that purport to prove why.

 

I perceive you're shitting on the country BECAUSE YOU ARE. Constantly. In every one of these posts. The real America, anyways; I can't speak with any authority about the idealized Platonic form of America you've distilled from 19th century poetry and your Rage Against The Machine albums.

 

See also: the part where you compare America to Nazi Germany in its treatment of drug addicts; or rather, the part where you paraphrase Allen Ginsburg's comparison, because again, you don't seem to have an original thought in your head. And speaking of whom, this is where you're getting your ideological ammunition? A pot addled cock smoker who scraped together just enough presence of mind to immortalize his paranoid acid fugues in free verse? Great. I'm bowled RIGHT THE FUCK over. Do you have any conception of how insulting it is to anyone who survived the holocaust, not to mention the memories of the dead, to compare the jailing of drug addicts to an attempted genocide which claimed six million lives? You child. You absolute infant. You're calling your mom Hitler because she won't let you borrow the family car.

 

<<WHERE'S THE MIKE SC??? I NEED MULTIPLE PARAGRAPH RESPONSES!!!!!!! >>

 

In the last couple of threads you've mostly ignored the irrefutable points he's made against you in favor of latching on to the least salient aspect of his argument and hammering it into the ground. Eagerly awaiting more of the same.

[Nighthawk 0]

Overrated flame. You could cut out maybe 80% of it and it would be just as effective.

 

This I love, though:

You're calling your mom Hitler because she won't let you borrow the family car.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Salty Hot Horse Cocks is the best line, but I think Hot Salty Horse Cocks would be better.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Great moment: Agent and Incandenza meet.

[Nighthawk 0]

I've still never met anyone from here except pbone, and he had to just outright move up the street from me. Oh, and Scroby as well.

 

Should do that more often.

[Kinetic 0]

I was looking at that "Agent and Incandenza Meet" thread yesterday. I'd enjoy it a lot more if the pictures still worked, seeing as how half of the thread is people commenting on the pictures.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I looked horrible. Overweight with long hair that I hadn't yet accepted was falling out.

[Nighthawk 0]

Funnily enough, I still picture you that way.

[... 0]

The rise and fall of Stennick.

 

The great board wipe-out of '03 because Dames pushed the Shiny Red Button.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

Well, if it ain't gonna be nate, it's gotta be THIS SATURDAY.

[Nighthawk 0]

I think later today, I'll post a picture of my asshole. You can ad that to the greatest moments.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

When CanadianGuitarist said he was moving to Calgary and tried calling me out to fight, then backing down right away.

 

When Noah Fentz said he didnt wanna be an internet tough guy, then saying to me that I better be careful or else he will fly down to Calgary to fight me. Then never appearing on the forum again.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

When CanadianGuitarist said he was moving to Calgary and tried calling me out to fight, then backing down right away.

 

When Noah Fentz said he didnt wanna be an internet tough guy, then saying to me that I better be careful or else he will fly down to Calgary to fight me. Then never appearing on the forum again.

When did this thread become "Lamest Moments in TSM History"?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

How about that time I made EHME my bitch? That was a great moment to be sure.