A challenge for BruiserBrody.

[Guest Czech please!]

I said Brody because his promo skills have already been on display. I would like Brody--and/or other TSMers--to read the following classic TSM post and put it on youtube:

 

 

Never even saw that run you're talking about. Fuck the world is just my attitude for anybody out there who wants anything from me. Charity? Fuck you. I've busted my ass to get where I am and continue busting it to put food on the table. Taxman already takes more than half of it and you want more? Like fuck. Kindness? Blow me. Who holds a door open for me, nobody, instead you force your way through the door I was at and sue me when their clumsy ass trips over the thing that I had in there. Who gave me their seat when I hobbled on the bus with a busted up knee? Nobody. Now I'm supposed to give up my seat because you're a bitch? Don't hold your fucking breath.

 

Once upon a time I was a nice guy. I was idealistic and believed in the goodness of people and that giving it would see it returned. The world showed me the error of that ideal. Now I've got to remind myself to fuck the world and look out for the person that matters.

 

Maybe this can become a contest like Painted Marvin. A TSM forensics meet. Points can be awarded for style, interpretation, and not having teleprompter eyes. Maybe it can be expanded to other great over-the-top ridiculous posts, like that time Coffey flamed out. Just throwing crap out there.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Matt Young could easily win this if he were to participate.

[Maztinho 0]

If I had a webcam I'd be on this like white on rice.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

[Guest Czech please!]

ow did you not lose it on "the thing that I had in there"? That's the part that trips me up.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

ow did you not lose it on "the thing that I had in there"? That's the part that trips me up.

 

I am a professional

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Sorry, but I really hate promos done like that. Speak fluently!

 

NEXT!

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Somebody needs to do it in the style of a dramatic reading.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Sorry, but I really hate promos done like that. Speak fluently!

 

NEXT!

 

I'm from Wisconsin, we speak fluent dip shit up here.

 

 

Plus I have macroglossia from Beckwith-Wiedemann syndrome

[Boner Kawanger 0]

Someone do it as Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Somebody needs to do it in the style of a dramatic reading.

 

[Guest Smues]

Somebody needs to do it in the style of a dramatic reading.

 

*****

[King Kamala 0]

Sounds and sort of looks like the world's greatest high school commencement speech. For that video alone, Brody's back on my good list.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Somebody needs to do it in the style of a dramatic reading.

 

*****

Brody, not all is forgiven, but that was incredible

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Awesome.

[Matt Young 0]

Matt Young could easily win this if he were to participate.

 

If only I had a capable recording device. My 4 year old digital camera with limited memory records a whopping 33 seconds of video. Maybe if I rushed it. It'd be hard to top Brody, though.

[Dr. Sbaitso 0]

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Okay, that guy wins!

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Somebody needs to do it in the style of a dramatic reading.

 

 

 

 

 

"What was that honey? It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing!"

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

*cries*

[Nighthawk 0]

Sorry, but I'm not from "da hood, y0." I don't care for ugly faces and big fat asses, I don't want to "get crunk," and I don't do drugs. I believe in a hard day's work for my pay, I believe in mutual respect amongst my peers. I believe in talent above marketing. I'm familiar with Star Wars, indie horror/sci-fi, and punk rock. If rap is meant to be the "music of the people," why would I listen to a bunch of men who don't look, talk, or act like I do, let alone have entirely different belief systems, ramble on about topics I have little care for? The few rap artists I do listen to are either better-than-average at what they do (Ice Cube, Wu-Tang Clan, Public Enemy, Run-DMC) or have something about them that I can associate with. I'm a white nerd from the suburbs. So why the motherFUCK would I want to listen to a hundred thousand different people rhyming about how the "white man has got me down" (Immortal Technique, anyone?) or about "backin' dat azz up." MC Lars speaks to me. He, along with other rapcore artists, take rap music for what it was meant to be: fun. There's a quote from Run-DMC that I can't find, but the summation of it is that 80's MCs would do party-rap because they didn't want to be reminded about the world of shit that they lived in. Plus, how many rappers do you know could take the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane" and sample it into a dance beat? How many could do rhymes about Edgar Allen Poe one minute, and then break into ones about depiction of Hell throughout literature? Shit, how many rappers actually even KNOW what the fuck Dante's Inferno actually is?

 

Do it. All of you.

[Nighthawk 0]

I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk. What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker. Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

 

This one too.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Sorry, but I'm not from "da hood, y0." I don't care for ugly faces and big fat asses, I don't want to "get crunk," and I don't do drugs. I believe in a hard day's work for my pay, I believe in mutual respect amongst my peers. I believe in talent above marketing. I'm familiar with Star Wars, indie horror/sci-fi, and punk rock. If rap is meant to be the "music of the people," why would I listen to a bunch of men who don't look, talk, or act like I do, let alone have entirely different belief systems, ramble on about topics I have little care for? The few rap artists I do listen to are either better-than-average at what they do (Ice Cube, Wu-Tang Clan, Public Enemy, Run-DMC) or have something about them that I can associate with. I'm a white nerd from the suburbs. So why the motherFUCK would I want to listen to a hundred thousand different people rhyming about how the "white man has got me down" (Immortal Technique, anyone?) or about "backin' dat azz up." MC Lars speaks to me. He, along with other rapcore artists, take rap music for what it was meant to be: fun. There's a quote from Run-DMC that I can't find, but the summation of it is that 80's MCs would do party-rap because they didn't want to be reminded about the world of shit that they lived in. Plus, how many rappers do you know could take the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane" and sample it into a dance beat? How many could do rhymes about Edgar Allen Poe one minute, and then break into ones about depiction of Hell throughout literature? Shit, how many rappers actually even KNOW what the fuck Dante's Inferno actually is?

 

Do it. All of you.

 

I'll actually do this... Only for you Milky though....

[Youth N Asia 0]

edit

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

 

I'll openly admit it: this made me lose it.

[muzz 0]

I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk. What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker. Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

 

This one too.

 

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090225021817778

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

I lost it on "Why the motherFUCK"

 

Good shit, Brody.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Holy shit is Brody wearing corpse paint or a lucha mask there? GOD YES.

 

See guys, this is why I will always overturn any Brody ban.

[Maztinho 0]

I was nearly brought to tears when he was talking about the Run DMC quote he couldn't find. Also it appears to be a Batman mask there Vit-X.