I almost posted this as a regular post on TSM or <the unnamed, quasi-hated other board> but I realized that stupid shit like this is what blogs were invented for. Or something.
So, I was watching Hogan Knows Best a few days ago. And the overrated daughter decided to spend a little Hulk-free time while on vacation in Key West. Yeah, shocker: a 16 year old wants some time away from her over-protective parents. Well, it turns out that the daughter was gone longer than the Hulkster & his wife would have wanted. Which leads to string of terrific unintentional comedy.
First, Hogan & his wife freak out that the daughter is "alone" (and I'll revisit that in a bit) and act like she's 5 and unable to get back to their hotel room. Hulk, she's 16. When I was 16 my mother trusted me enough to take the train to NYC to see a show at CBGB's and back again that night. Next, they call the police to report her missing. You just KNOW the cop was like "She's only been 'missing' for 3 hours, Hulkster." To make things even better, Hogan & the wife hop into their little rented golf cart and drive around calling for her & whistling like she's a lost puppy. "Broooo-oooke, where are you?" and 'whistle-whistle' are NOT normal ways to find your teenaged daughter.
And when things didn't seem they could get any better, Brooke returns and Hogan lectures her. "Looking like you do..." and "With who you are..." like she's someone even remotely famous. You could ask 100 people who 'Brooke Hogan' is, and 98 of them would have no idea. You could show 100 people her picture and 99 of them would have no idea who she is. She's NOT famous for anything other than that show. And - I hate to sound like an ephebophile but - Brooke's getting less attactive every year. She was hotter as a 15 year old, before she started looking like her mother. While I'll admit looking like mom is preferable to the Hulkster ... it's still not that hot. If I was going to be acting leacherously towards anyone on the beaches of Key West, it's not going to be the peroxide blonde that's average looking at best.
And, as promised, I'll get back to being "alone" in Key West ... she's on fucking TV. She has a boom operator like 6 feet away, and a guy with a big-ass camera not much further than that, and Hulkamania is running wild about this being a "missing person incident". I think it'd be kind of hard to kill, kidnap or rape a girl with a camera crew filming the incident. I'm hoping ... strike that, praying ... that they're freaking out because it makes for good TV. Because if they're really so idiotic as to act that way over such a small incident, well, let's just say that Brooke might as well join a convent now and get it over with.
Man, maybe I should have quit after the first entry.
20.
Chris Masters. Oh, how do I hate him. He's awful in every single way. He has no positive attributes. He can't wrestle. He can't act. He can't talk. He doesn't even have enough muscle to look like a real big guy... but, he still has all the stereotypes of your usual steroid user. Please fire him. NOW. Or, send him to TNA, where he can squash Jay Lethal, or whatever, on Impact, where I won't watch.
The Masters and Chris Masters. I hate all Masters. I felt bad for leaving Chris Masterski out of my dislike.
I'll respond to stuff.
Thanks. I'm quite aware of that, though.
...
I suppose it might be. I know some people do love me for my general heel nature.
I think it's time for you to be put away again.
There's not much to pick on him about, though. I certainly would if I could.
It's fine. I knew it was more you insulting EHME, than defending me. And that's always a good thing to do. When will he finally be removed from here.
I tried doing lots of lifting weights with my legs before. And it ended up in me tearing my achilles, and basically destroying my foot. I'm scared to do that stuff now. Plus, you're a Marines guy, and I'm a wimpy tennis player. Lot harder for me.
What.
I'll assume you have avatars turned off. http://myspace.com/heelprincess , then pics. I hope you have a myspace account.
Absolutely. That's the shit I'd like to see penalties start being called on. Sack dances, WR's who catch 1st down passes, and special teams scrubs who make a tackle are the worst.
More later, maybe.
19.
So, my least favorite golf tournament starts tomorrow. Augusta always gives me weird feelings. It's obviously pretty, but it has the feel of a KKK convention meeting the other 51 weeks of the year. It reminds me of my uber-rich uncle, who's probably the biggest racist asshole in the world, and how he always lied about playing Augusta. This is the only week where I openly cheer for Tiger. If Tiger or Vijay continue their domination of this tournament, then that's just grand. You know it kills those snobby, old bastards to see it. And, of course, I'll be cheering hard for Mickelson to fail, like every slam. It's about time for Hefty to be in contention, and blow it all with his famous short-putt misses.
Plus, they keep fucking with the Augusta course, to where it's losing its fun. No, I'm not one of the old fogies who thinks all courses should stay the way they are... you absolutely must add length to some of these holes. But, it's being done way too much here. They're adding even more length to the 7th, which was one of my favorite short holes, with it's fun green that already gave players a bunch of trouble. Now, it's just another long par 4. And the 4th is just silly now... along with 10 and 11. Adding length was necessary to some of these holes... but, now it's to the detriment of making the tournament exciting. 15, maybe 20 players have any shot of being competitive in the Masters because you absolutely need massive length to be close. And that sucks. Augusta doesn't need this shit. Nothing was worse than Bethpage in 2002... where length was the end-all, be-all.
Besides, the Snobby Racist Masters won't beat the women's tourney last week in Mission Hills. Damn, that was one of the best endings ever. I felt stupid for downloading the final round of a golf tourney, but that was worth it. Karrie Webb holing out on the 18th, little cutie Ochoa with a super clutch eagle after sucking all of Sunday, and Michelle Wie blowing it again. And uber-hottie Natalie Gulbis in contention. Money. That's what women's golf needs to be watchable. Only thing missing was fellow hottie Cristie Kerr, and her getting a temper tantrum. I'm getting worried about Michelle, though. The girl is so insanely talented... yet, she's never won a damn thing outside of the Pub Links, which barely counts. The hype she gets has to build up her confidence (like Sharabitch), but it won't last forever, and soon enough people are going to whine that she never wins. This is the problem with forcing her to play with the men, and such silly things. It could really backfire on her.
In tennis news, the Davis Cup Quarterfinal is this week. Nobody cares on this continent. I'm sort of interested in France-Russia, though. And watching Marat blow. The women's field is awful this week, so bleh. The end.
The frayed remains of a lost friendship
Last night, I was doing more of the usual (tsm’ing, watching AI and doing some school-work). I got a phone call around 9:30 from my old friend, Natalie. Let me explain this girl to you, she’s the ultimate attention needing, steal all the spotlight person. She’s incredibly beautiful as well, which only fuels her selfish and vain propensity.
We became friends, I believe my senior year. She was a junior, and we met through normal circumstances. I was a part of the speech team at school (pretty good at it as well). I had been asked to go to the monthly drama club meeting and infiltrate and recruit. I did a good job and that was how I met her. For 3 years, we were pretty good friends. Best friends, at times. Then she finally graduated high school and promptly moved away to Ohio University. It was over last summer; while we weren’t really talking to each other that I became very close friends with her former best friend (imagine the usual teen-age drama bullshit and that is your explanation for their hatred towards each other).
So, she finally finds out about my relationship with that girl and this greatly pisses her off. I argued that, “why do you care? You left the last 3 months and left me standing here in the doorway, crying” (in regards to my break-up, which I described in an early entry) and that the other girl was actually there for support and that I consider her not just my lover(not at this moment) but my best friend. So, Natalie decides to call me a traitor. Which was hilarious, to say the least when she actually celebrated that my girlfriend had cheated on me (she has always hated my gf’s because I would give them my attention and not her).
Anyways, we drifted away from each other. Reduced to aim convo once every three weeks and I was hardly missing her.
On Sunday morning she imed me and told me that she got drunk and her friend fucked her and now she thinks she’s pregnant.
Let me, point out the irony here. Through the course of our friendship, she constantly praised the importance of abstinence and often condemned me for having sexual relationships. So, for her to piss that away because she got drunk was fittingly perfect.
Anyways, I had other stuff to worry about (things I can’t even begin to explain to a bunch of relatively speaking, strangers). I told her “don’t panic, you probably aren’t pregnant”. So last night, she im’s me again bitching about how she thinks she’s pregnant and I go “There’s nothing I can do about it. You did it, that’s why you shouldn’t have sex if you aren’t mature enough to handle the potential consequences”.
She went off on a long rant about how I’m a jerk and how I’m selfish and stuff like this. I explained to her, what was going on with my life and how monumental it is (it involves a family member) and she straight out said “I don’t give a fuck about that. You have any idea how big this thing is here? Do you?”.
I responded “you are insane” and she goes on another rant about how she hates me and that I haven’t been there for her. Funny, I seem to recall her leaving right away without even a goodbye.
The point of this is…
Where the fuck did my friends go? I never had a huge group of friends but I had my own little circle and we were really close. 2 years removed from HS and I probably only keep in real good touch with one person. I keep in better touch with my ex’s, even the one who betrayed me then I do with my actual “friends”. I always heard from my parents that you won’t always be friends with them, but I figured it’d last at least through college. It’s just another depressing aspect of growing up, I suppose.
Well today I turn the big 3-0. I normally don’t care about birthdays, but this one has affected me somewhat – it has for a few months now. When 2006 came around, I realized that I would be turning over a new digit on the left side of the age figure. This thought scared me, and not because I was closer to collecting a Social Security check that probably won’t be there for me anyway when I become eligible for it. I also wasn’t in crisis mode, wondering what happened to my life; I’m actually content in that aspect of my life for the most part. One thing that has been bugging me though is the fact I don’t have anything saved in the bank. When I graduated college I was 22 years old and started an unsuccessful attempt to get full-time employment in Sappy Valley. When I was 24 I was in Ohio doing the same thing all over again like I was in central Pennsylvania. I eventually found work, but it wasn’t full-time. Also, whenever I was able to save some money I had to bail the better half out of some financial trouble she got herself in while attending grad school. When we moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 I was 27 years of age, and after several months of looking for a job that had something to do with my college education, I began saving money for the first time in my life.
Then came the new house, which I had to pay out several thousand dollars in closing costs and other fees. Then came the new computer that had to be purchased because the old one died. Then came the vet bills for our one cat that got sick. Then came the wedding, of which I had to subsidize several thousand dollars to the better half because she didn’t realize how expensive the reception hall would be. She also didn’t realize that all the things I had mentioned above (including a few others not listed) I solely paid for because she didn’t have the money to pay off half of each of these costs and had put her half of these expenses on a “tab” she will never pay me back for.
My 20s came and went, and I realized that this past January. What hit me was I had always heard while growing up that if you put away a small amount of money each year while in your 20s you’d end up with $10,000,000 (or some other similar figure) by the time you turned 65. Well I can say goodbye to that. I spent the last 10 years moving from place to place, not being able to save a dime, and now a decade has passed with nothing to show for it but a few gray hairs and some accumulated wisdom. My debt load isn’t too bad – I owe $6,800 on a school loan I thought I would have already paid off when I graduated college back in ’98. When 2006 got under way, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish, and topping this list was paying off my debt and starting to save for the long term. If everything goes as planned, I’ll have the debt paid off sometime this summer, and then I’ll focus on saving.
But financial matters aren’t the only things concerning me. I tend to ache more when doing activities that wouldn’t have bothered me 5-10 years ago. When I see kids playing basketball, I think to myself, “Why would I waste energy shooting hoops when I’ve got a lawn to mow?” I’m listening to music that was around during my childhood-early 20s because newer material just doesn’t appeal to me. I would rather look at an attractive 40-year old than a 20-year old. I’m listening to rhetoric by political parties and able to remember years back when they had the opposite stance that same issue. I don’t mean to do these things; they are just coming natural to me. However, I must say that I’m fighting this getting old thing, or at least I’m picking the battles I know I can win. For example, I haven’t started bitching (much) about the cost of things now as opposed to 10-15 years ago (not even the cost of gasoline – taxes are another matter, however). I don’t say times today are worse off now than they ever have been (at least not until Democrats are in charge). And I don’t wear my pants up to my belly button (yet).
Rather than feeling the effects of aging another decade, I think this was a wake-up call letting me know that I’m an adult, and as an adult I better get my ass in gear with some areas of my life that I haven’t focused on as much as I should have over the years.
Then again, maybe turning 30 is the best thing to have happened to me since I turning, well, 20.
-Bought the new Ghostface Killah album today. So far, I'm really loving it. Plus, it has J.Dilla (RIP), Pete Rock, Just Blaze, and MF Doom on production, and the entire Wu Tang Clan on the track 9 Milli Bros. I also got Thunder, Lightning, Strike by The Go! Team.
-It seems like tomorrows episode of "South Park" takes a shot on "Family Guy". To be honest, I haven't watched FG in a while. Maybe it's just me, but refrencing 80's pulp culture constantly gets kind of old. Granted, it's not a bad show, I'm just tired of the show, since it's basically a less obnoxious "I Love The 80's"
-Mickie James is the new Women's Champ, and continues to bring on the awesome. Really, how could anyone hate her dressing up just like Trish on Raw last night? Also, great to see Carlito turn face. The guy's really improved lately. On the downside, do we really need Jamal back as the Samoan version of Kamala, only not any fun? Plus, the Shawn vs. Vince feud is still going on. I swear, Vince really hates the fans. What other explanation could there be for this bullshit?
-Finally, I saw the stupidest t-shirt yesterday: it basically said "Keep Arnold From Becoming President in '08". I wanted to tell the guy wearing it that he was an idiot, but I didn't, because I remembered that you can't reason with hippies.
So, on a whim I've started a blog. I don't really know if I even want a blog, or if I'll keep posting on it above & beyond this one entry.
Some of you might recognize the title of my blog as a book by noted author & poet Charles Bukowski. Bukowski, for a long time, was best known as the author immortalized in the movie "Barfly". Unfortunately, though, he is now best known as the author & poet that the hipster doofuses have decided to fawn over. Seeing frat guys & emo chicks carrying around what appear to be brand-new copies of Bukowski's work is terribly annoying. Even worse, a lame bar (that pretends it's a "dive" bar, even though it's not) has decided to name itself "Bukowskis" ... even worse than that even worse, it's successful enough that a second one has opened up. It'd be one thing if he was alive, and could at least be reaping the financial rewards from his random popularity. But seeing as his success is posthumous, Bukowski's likely not enjoying it at all.
Yesterday was one my least favorite days of the year: the opening of the Red Sox season. I, at one point, was a die-hard Sox fan. Knew every player, voted for them in the All-Star Game balloting, even felt some anger when Mike "Gator" Greenwell finished second behind Jose Canseco in the MVP race almost 2 decades ago. But, now, baseball season means one thing to me: ESPN dedicating 18 hours a day, every day, to the most irrelevant baseball coverage imaginable. Hey, guys, it's game ONE of 162; let's not treat it like playoff implications are hanging in the balance. Even if I avoid ESPN, I still have to deal with drunk frat guys chanting "Yankees Suck" regardless of who the Sox are playing (or, even worse, at events that aren't even baseball games).
And, just so I'm doing something besides bitching in my first ever blog entry, let me say that I've had a good week of music 'shopping' online. The new Streets album (better than A Grand Don't Come for Free , but not as good as Original Pirate Material ); a 3-disc Stereolab import set, 95% of which was new to me; 2 Strapping Young Lad albums (I've only listened to one but liked it a lot, and will be listening to the other soon) and a bunch of Prussian Blue & Wagner from a WP index that I found on midnitecrow. All in all, a good week of downloading.
18.
I don't think I've done a damn thing here today, so far. The clock struggles to move. Even more so since I'm now an extra hour further behind my intolerable east coast friends.
I feel better from yesterday. For those wondering, one of my lovely family members gave my new phone # to my piece of shit "mother", who berated me for leaving her, or something stupid. If I could kill her without any consequences, I would have done so 18 years ago. I get angry about it for a couple hours. Then, it subsides.
Florida won the NCAA title. I guess it's not overly surprising looking at their talent, but with their relative inexperience, they looked like a possible early exit. Good seeing Joakim Noah as their best player, also. As I was quite the fan of Yannick Noah back in the day. I gotta love all serve & volleyers. However, this had to be one of the worst Final Fours in recent history. All blowouts. First March Madness where I had a net loss. Oh well.
Baseball started yesterday. Don't care. Season is too long. There's too many people who love baseball on this board. No offense to them. Like what you want. But, I don't know how one can sit through an entire baseball game, unless they're really, really drunk. Of course, some of you could say the same about tennis, and I could put you on ignore.
Women's basketball final is tonight. Really don't care. The only positive is it marks the end of the god-awful ESPN commercials for it.
WM was pretty bad. Most of it was boring. And the Raw after was even worse. I believe I'm once again done with watching wrestling for approximately 9 months.
Oh, and add me on myspace, if you want. http://myspace.com/heelprincess It's my secondary account. And I'll insult your friends.
I don't know what else. I have nothing planned for tonight. And I'm so bored. This may be a multiple entry day.
All weekend I had to hear how the A's Opening Night game against the Yankees was going to be a rainout. It rained all day here in the Bay Area and then suddenly tonight it clears up a bit. So I was happy at first that I wouldn't have to stay up until one in the morning tonight to watch the entire game but that changed pretty quick. Barry Zito was chosen as the Opening Night starter even though everyone knows the ace of the staff is Rich Harden. I think manager Ken Macha fell into the manager trap of letting the "veteran" get the start. Zito has a knack for getting into 3-2 counts way too often and against a patient team like the Yankees that will get you killed and they have killed him in recent years. Zito's line tonight: 1 1/3 IP, 4 H, 7 ER, 4 BB, 3 K. Woof. It's 11-1 Yankees in the 5th inning as I type this so safe to say it's not the hometown heroes night.
In my aborted preview of the A's I had talked about Zito likely leaving after this season and might as well go briefly into that now. Now preface of course my thoughts aren't scewed simply because Zito pitched like Russ Ortiz tonight. I can pretty much predict the media outcry when Zito leaves for a big money deal to a big market team after this season but it will all be moot. He simply isn't worth the money he is going to get as starting pitchers are the most overpriced position in baseball right now. Just take a look at A.J. Burnett. Very talented but very injury prone and has yet to have that breakout season where he emerges as a top of the line starter yet he signed a 5-year, $55 million deal. Her certainly benefitted from a weak crop of free agent starting pitchers but it also shows how painfully overvalued starting pitching is. Zito has had a better career to this point than Burnett, has zero injury history (with his easy delivery he may never have arm problems), and is even slightly younger than Burnett. Barring a disasterous season he'll almost certainly parlay a contract that is at least worth as much as Brunett's and maybe even a a million or two more a year. Can anyone legitimately say Barry Zito is worth possibly $12-14 million a year? Now the fact that you can pencil him in for 220+ innings a year at above average production does certainly make him more valuable than maybe his peripheral numbers would indicate. But really that type of money should only go to the elite pitchers which Zito is by no means. The A's also have three good, young starting pitchers on their staff that they have under their control thru the end of the decade and money like that would be much better spent on a position player (or two).
Now 13-1, Yankees still batting in the 5th. It better be a rain free night with Harden pitching tommorrow or mother nature can kiss my ass. At least Frank Thomas homering in his first at bat with the A's didn't make this night a total loss.
-Brief Final Four thought, the "Greatest Tournament Ever" ended with a big thud. This was the first time since 1976 that the Final Four didn't have a game decied by single digits when Indiana finished off their undefeated championship run. And wow is that Noah kid from Florida is good...and wow is he one ugly mother fucker.
17.
I'm having an absolutely horrible day, today. No matter how much I try to hide away from people... EVERYONE wants to tear down my success, and bring me pain. I wish I could block all people out of my life. That is all.
• By now news of the alleged rape committed by members of Duke’s lacrosse team has been all over the media. Did these rich white kids have their way with a black stripper at an off-campus party? I don’t know. Rape is a serious allegation, and it can be extremely difficult to prove in a court of law. My rule of thumb regarding rape allegations is if the incident recently took place, I’ll wait until more facts/evidence is presented; the Duke situation falls into this category. Let the evidence present itself first, then make a decision.
When Kobe Bryant was accused of rape, I took the same stance. Because the incident was reported in a timely manner, I let the alleged victim make her case. Even though in the end I decided for myself that this wasn’t a rape incident, I didn’t just blindly go “OMG here’s another white girl is just trying to collect a payday.”
One of the most unfortunate aspects of these kinds of cases, other than the actual incident itself, is that just applying common sense could have prevented many of them. Girls, don’t go to a man’s hotel room at 3 a.m.; guys, don’t go to a party that is likely to get out of control. Do I sound like a fuddy duddy? Probably. But this is the way I lived my life for the most part (there have been exceptions, of course), and thanks in large part to my choices regarding not getting involved in situations that had the potential to be disastrous, I have stayed away from trouble.
Like I said earlier about my rule on how I treat a rape case, I give the benefit of the doubt to an alleged victim if the incident is reported shortly after it occurred. However, when claims are made years after the fact, I don’t want to hear them. A prime example of this came with that female kicker for the University of Colorado some years back. In 2004 she alleged that she was verbally abused, harassed and molested by other players and raped by a teammate back in 1999. The fact you waited five years to present this information leaves me with zero sympathy. Likewise that alleged rape of Juanita Broderick by Bill Clinton. The fact this (allegedly) happened several decades ago made me indifferent to whole thing. (In addition to this being my general opinion on rape cases, I also share the same sentiment when it comes to molestation cases dealing with priests.)
It should be interesting to see the fallout from this. If it turns out the alleged victim is making this story up because someone called her the “n” word, then there’s going to be a lot of apologies (at the very least) due. However, if this is a case of rape, then I say lock up the perpetrators and throw away the key.
• Well, today’s opening day for Major League Baseball. Now I’m not even going to pretend I know what I’m talking about regarding this sport, especially when there are other people at this place like Bored, who eat batting averages and on base percentages for lunch. I wasn’t into baseball during my late-teens/mid-20s, but over the last few years I’ve started to warm up to the sport again. I’m not sure why I have this change of heart; it’s certainly not due to the performance of my hometown team. Maybe this could be the year the Pirates reach the .500 mark. Believe me, if that’s the case it will be like the Pirates won the NL Central around here. Actually, back in the late 90’s (I think the year was ’97) the Pirates were in a division race for most of the season, yet they never got above the .500 mark. I was in college at the time, and many of my friends were going crazy over the fact the Pirates were in first place, yet were losing more games than they were winning. In the end, the Houston Astros woke up late in the season and took the division, only to get swept by the Braves in the first round. However, when your hometown team has experienced 14 consecutive losing seasons, I guess fans will take anything they can get.
How ironic is this-
In a recent article dealing with the upcoming IFL, created by Wizard Owner, Gareb Shamus, He stated something about the franchise:
So, he backed out- 4Kids basicly came in...the rest is history.
Until resently, when Ninty pretty much told 4Kids to **** off after 8 years. This Month, there will be new USA only episode of pokemon, with new Voice Actors for the franchise (as a test run) the last known episode with the 4Kids VA's (They will continue from may)- will be late summer, early fall.
The President of the United States is in Cincinnati to throw out the first pitch for Opening Day. I wish I were still attending classes at the University of Cincinnati just so I could take in all the Bush-hate.
I won the office pool that I entered. I had 12 of the sweet 16 correct and UCLA and UCONN in the final. If it sounds like I'm bragging, I am. Why not, we all have to pimp ourselves every now and then. Too bad all the money I'm getting is going toward my wife's birthday present. I'm getting her an ipod. She had to go and use itunes to download songs, and since itunes crap won't play on things like creative labs mp3 players, which is less expensive, I have to buy the damn ipod.
Phil Hendrie dictionary item of the day, courtesy of sweetfeatheryjesus.com:
"Shark Shot": A standard maneuver taught to all members of the C.A.P (Citizen's Auxiliary Police). To be used when controlling a suspicious suspect. According to Jay Santos, the move is executed by "holding a riot stick like a pool cue and going right after the testicles".
But...even I amazed.
Im not here to say 22 was a flop. It wasnt.
It just showed how close again they where from changing the matches on the fly and booking last min isnt going to change things for the Brand.
Of course, they had great matches. Edge and Foley, RVD heading to "HIS" Wrestlemania (ONS 2) with the MITB Contract (Right Now, they can build HHH or Cena to face RVD at ONS 2 and the same result will happen croud wise) Trish has held the Womans Title for a long time, and in a near 10 min match, Mickey James became Magumi Toyota circa 1988 with a Hint of Sherry circa 1990.
Im a little Sad that they had to treat Styles like a kid, but they needed JR as Styles will really become the air apparant - he called Edge/Foley better than I expected.
The interesting matches have to go to The US Title, the McMahn/Michals match. The US match was too short- and something tells me its just starting- Michales tried to out do Edge- and Vince is just crazy.
"Montezuma" Mysterio is your new world Champ.
Um...Ok...why?
Angle was cheered, Ortan was even cheered.
They didnt do this with The IWPG title...
Of course- the match might be three stars, but Cena winning over HHH comes as bit of a shock to me.
The fiddles were being played. The Fans in Chi-town fell for it.
Question now, how will they Bill RVD as the man who can beat both Cena or HHH?
The more intresting question...how is "Montezuma" Mysterio gonna be a good champ? Hes too small...and Angle made both men tap out twice, then you have Henry, Lashey, even Benoit- and lets not forget Bastista...unless we have some Haybusa type mircale spots, the WHC is a bit...screwed.
The brightest news out of all of the matches, was that James is truly what I saw her in OVW. She was Toyota 15 years younger. Now if they didnt give her a boob job she would have been perfect- but you know Vince. Now that shes the champ...Can she take the division (which has had its ups and downs) to new hights?
Wrestlemania 22, April 2, 2006 at Chicago's United Center
Kane & Big Show vs. Carlito & Chris Masters (**)
[The steam rollers continue to steam roll.]
Money in the Bank- The Winner Gets a Title Shot within the next 12 months (really, 9 months) [Rod Van Dam wins, the plan now its to beat eather HHH or Cena at ONS 2 on June 12.] (***)
Chris Benoit vs. JBL (** 1/2)
[WAY Too short even given the fact the show ended 15 min early]
Edge vs. Mick Foley (***)
[This was a better match than I expected]
Booker & Sharmell vs. Boogeyman
[uGH....] (DUD)
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James
[Theres a new queen in town...and shes Insane, perfectly.] (**** Dispite the bad finsh, this is based on storyline and actual match- the actual match is ...yeah **** stars)
Undertaker vs. Mark Henry (**1/2)
[uneventful, but Undertaker is leaps and bounds better than he was years ago- he is the best on smackdown, my consern is when is he due for his WM moment?]
Vince vs. Shawn (***)
[i sense, that there will be new stables coming up soon...this was a better than expected match anyway, and pretty much contrasts the Hardcore Styles between ECW's (Edge/Foley) and the Brands]
Angle Vs Ortan Vs Mysterio- (** 1/2)
[TOO SHORT!]
Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle (DUD)
[TOO LONG!]
Cena vs. HHH (*** 3/4)
[Erere- this is the weirdest match i have ever seen. Ok ok, it makes Cena look unbeatable- and will make RVD's victory all that sweeter despite who is the holder.]
I'm pissed.
I was so sure I would write some scathing review about tonights PPV.
That won't happen, because it delivered to an extent.
I'll post my original predictions before writing up my reaction to the show...
TBS/Kane Vs Carlito/Masters
Winner: Carlito and Masters (DQ)
Time: 5:30
Rating: *1/4
Actual result
Winner: Kane and TBS
Time: 6:00
Rating: *1/4
Thoughts
-A pretty short squash match. I was expecting them to extend this feud out another month for Backlash but they went ahead and had the champs squash the challengers with ease. I'm not sure if it was the best choice for opener but the crowd was feeling it and Carlito, is bound for a face turn sooner or later.
Money in the Bank
Winner: Flair
Time: 18:00
Rating:***3/4
Actual result
Winner: RVD
Time: 12:00
Rating:***1/4
Thoughts
-This was your basic spotfest ladder match. It hardly had anything memorable that'll be spotlighted for years to come, but the crowd was all for RVD and RVD showed up. Shelton avoid the botchy jitters for the big stage and probably was the highlight reel, once again with his springboard onto the ladder being the most memorable. I was expecting Flair to win, only because of the promo he cut last week. RVD, was the only other legitimate choice and probably, the right choice.
Batista's brief cameo interupting Orton's promo looked to set up Orton/Batista, where Orton will probably be the champion by the time Batista returns this summer.
Chris Benoit Vs JBL
Winner: JBL
Time: 13:50
Rating: ***3/4
Actual result
Winner: JBL
Time: 9:00
Rating:**1/2
Thoughts
-Incredibly rushed as this match needed another 5-8 minutes. I was expecting this to steal the show and it didn't. It was a passable Smackdown or lower-tier ppv match, but not WM. I was disapointed to see JBL resort to mocking Eddie for cheap heat. The good news is that JBL is carrying the title, he should have held all along.
Hard-Core Match: Edge Vs Mick Foley
Winner: Edge
Time: 13:00
Rating:**3/4
Actual result
Winner: Edge
Time: 15:00
Rating:***3/4
Thoughts
-I was expecting a paint by number effort by Foley and I was wrong to underestimate him again. I still think the build for this match was horrid but they delivered on this match. Foley using the wrap-around barb-wire was a nice touch as they incorporated the usual (tacks, stairs, barbie) but the match was still stiff but not contrived. Lita, looked really good and I enjoyed her efforts tonight as the barbed wire socko was gusty to take and the bleeding from the mouth was a good visual. Foley, did a excellent blade job as he looked like Two-Face Harvey with the crimson mask convering only the left side of his face. Expected finish but it was hardly an unimpressive sight. Foley, delivered his best WM performance and is something to be proud of. Now stay home, Foley and just blog.
The T's segment in the hall was gold, I really can't add anything else to that statement. Booker and Sharmell are a very consistant comedy duo and they deserve better then what came after this, we also need more Booker/Goldust reunions. It's also great to see Dibiase getting air time again.
Boogeyman Vs The T's
Winner: Boogeyman
Time: 3:45
Rating:*1/4
Actual result
Winner: Boogeyman
Time: 5:00
Rating: DUD
Thoughts
-Booker T deserved better, although I'm glad he gets a WM paycheck. This was expectedly bad and probably worse then bad. One of the worse Mania matches ever. Thankfully, Boogeyman is injured and likely isn't working matches for a bit of time.
Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James
Winner: Mickie James
Time: 8:20
Rating:**1/4
Actual result
Winner: Mickie James
Time: 9:00
Rating:***3/4
Thoughts
-No, seriously. This was an excellent match that completely went beyond my expecations. Easily, the best woman's match in WWE in years. The heat was incredible for a woman's match and Mickie completely shined in the spotlight. Maybe the high rating was because the woman's stuff is rarely ever that good, but this match was. Maybe it'll drop in a year from now but right now it was the most memorable match. The finish is being talked about alot and people are focusing too much on the botch. Mickie, covered up pretty well and played it off with the skill and intelligence of a seasoned veteran. The most talked about part of the match, was easily the "Camel Toe Clutch", that was something new for a woman's match and it really, really fit with Mickie's character. The pose, after that spot was tremendous as well as Mickie's expression
The McMahon family prayer, comical if only for Stephanie's attempts to stifle her laughter.
Undertaker Vs Mark Henry
Winner: Undertaker
Time: 10:25
Rating:*3/4
Actual result
Winner: Undertaker
Time: 9:00
Rating:*3/4
Thoughts
-Essentially, the match I was expecting. It wasn't a total stinker but it wasn't good either. Taker busting out the plancha, is always a good sight to see. Hopefully, Taker gets his first (and final) WM classic, next year.
Vince McMahon Vs HBK
Winner: HBK
Time: 20:30
Rating:***
Actual results
Winner: HBK
Time: 18:00
Rating: ***1/4
Thoughts
-Fairly good SE match, as Shawn completely dominated Vince. The SS run-in was great if only for Doane's bumping. Shane, was useful in his comical selling. The story they told, was excellent (although it was completely ignored by the commentators).
Rey Mysterio Vs Kurt Angle Vs Randy Orton
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Time: 17:30
Rating:***1/2
Actual result
Winner: Mysterio
Time: 9:00
Rating: ***
Thoughts
-Criminally short. This match had another 10 minutes in it and the rapid-fire finish didn't help. The crowd completely turned against Rey, and some are angry about that. Look, Rey had been booked as a joke and the constant Eddie exploitation was irritating. A backlash, had to be expected.
Torrie Vs Candice
Winner: Candice
Time: Too long
Rating:DUD
Actual results
Winner: Torrie
Time: 4:00
Rating: DUD
Thoughts
-Who gives a shit
Triple H Vs John Cena
Winner: Triple H
Time: 24:45
Rating:**1/4
Actual results
Winner: John Cena
Time: 21:00
Rating: **1/2
Thoughts
-I've covered the entrances enough in the WM thread. They were both embarassingly bad. At least, It was nice to see CM Punk appear at WM in his home-town. The crowd heat against Cena, was nuclear to say the least. Triple H, had a big grin inside him as the crowd was completely behind him. The match, probably wasn't really that bad and might look better on later viewing but you can't deny the crowd just really sucked you out of the match and forced you to focus on the surreal aspect of a crowd 100% behind Triple H.
This was a no-win situation as neither men aren't what they need on top right now.
Over-all, the show was very solid but not a classic WM but it gave a couple very good matches, a good comedy segment and nothing atrociously bad aside from what was already expected.
Because my upcoming b-day falls on a workday this year, the better half gave me my presents today. She constantly bitches that I’m hard to shop for, which I always thought was a good thing because that means I’m not materialistic. When it comes to gifts, nothing is better than CDs, DVDs or video games (except maybe gift cards so I can get what I want whenever it goes on sale). Even though I spend most of my disposable income on the three things mentioned above, DVD gifts are usually what I prefer to get, and this year she went 3-for-3 in the present category.
My first gift was a gimmie: Season 7 of South Park. Seeing how I have the first six seasons already, it’s pretty much a no-brainer I’d be looking to add this to my collection. However, this season was when I began to stop watching “South Park” during their episodes' first run. Instead of staying up past when I normally go to bed on a work night, or setting the VCR (I’m lazy), I figured it will just be more convenient to wait until the DVD comes out and get a season's worth of shows then. Although Season 7 had some episodes that were great (Krazy Kripples, Christian Rock Hard, South Park is Gay and It’s Christmas in Canada, to name a few), there were others I didn’t care for, such as the one spoofing Jennifer Lopez and the one dealing with Cartman’s obsession with Casa Bonita. In addition, I felt a bit short-changed with the episode dealing with the Iraq war – the payoff wasn’t that satisfying to me, and it reminded me a bit of that episode dealing with Terri Schiavo and the removal of her feeding tube. (Although it was great to hear the Founding Fathers go “rabble rabble rabble.")
The second thing I got was the soundtrack to “Team America: World Police.” A few months ago I had the movie’s “AIDS” song stuck in my head for about a week, and I guess that’s where Mrs. kkk got the idea to get me this album. A good idea it was, considering I already had the movie on DVD and liked several songs such as “Everyone has AIDS,” “America, Fuck Yeah,” and “Montage.” In regards to the movie itself, I was a bit disappointed by it. However, I think a large part of my letdown stems from me expecting too much. I try not to give a movie too high of expectations, but sometimes you just can't help it. (Kevin Smith's "Dogma" was another film that I had this problem with.) Overall I liked the movie, but it seemed to drag on in some places. But when it hit, it hit hard. Along with making fun of a number of Hollywood celebrities and the United Nations, I liked a lot of the film’s smaller touches, such as black cats being vicious “panthers” and seeing tropical fish in the “ocean” scenes. And then there was the dialogue, more specifically "Matt Damon," a phrase that the better half and I now use whenever the other person says or does something stupid. In addition, it’s nice to know that the Chiodo Brothers, creators of “Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” one of my favorite cheesy films of all-time, produced the puppets in "Team America." I’m sure there won’t be a sequel to this movie, but some work is better than no work, especially in the film industry.
The third present was an “Uncle Buck” DVD. The odd thing about this selection is that I was never really a fan of John Candy when many of his movies were first shown in the 1980s. However, as I got older and watched these films again I began to appreciate them more; perhaps I didn’t quite get Candy’s humor as a kid, or perhaps my sense of what’s funny is getting diluted. I must say however that I always loved one particular scene in “Uncle Buck” when he’s talking a school administrator with a sizeable mole on her face. If you saw this movie, you know what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t seen this movie, I don’t know what to tell you.
In one of his recent entries kkk talked about his favorite looking baseball cards. This got me be remembering one of my favorite baseball card collecting habits from my childhood, buying those store brand baseball sets. Stores like K-Mart and Toys 'R' Us would have their baseball cards, typically produced by Topps, that would feature star players or rookies. The sets were cheap and the cards were all glossy which was still a very unique feature back in the late 80's.
The first such set I remember buying was the 1987 Topps Toys 'R' Us Rookies set. It was a set of 33 cards featuring the rookies from the 1986 season. I took terrible care of the cards and now I don't even remember where they are but I do still remember those black boarded cards. I couldn't find individual pictures of the cards but I did find a site that showed that displays the entire set. Here are the links:
1. Andy Allanson, 2. Paul Assenmacher, 3. Scott Bailes, 4. Barry Bonds, 5. Jose Canseco, 6. John Cerutti, 7. Will Clark, 8. Kal Daniels, 9. Jim Deshaies
OMG Bonds and Canseco's cards were together, it was a sign!!!
10. Mark Eichhorn, 11. Ed Hearn, 12. Pete Incaviglia, 13. Bo Jackson, 14. Wally Joyner, 15. Charlie Kerfeld, 16. Eric King, 17. John Kruk, 18. Barry Larkin
See a relatively thin John Kruk.
19. Mike LaValliere, 20. Greg Mathews, 21. Kevin Mitchell, 22. Dan Plesac, 23. Bruce Ruffin, 24. Ruben Sierra, 25. Cory Snyder, 26. Kurt Stillwell, 27. Dale Sveum
28. Danny Tartabull, 29. Andres Thomas, 30. Robby Thompson, 31. Jim Traber, 32. Mitch Williams, 33. Todd Worrell
As you see 1986 produced a pretty impressive crop of rookies and some several infamous names as well. I had been thinking of trying to do a Reward Redo that wasn't an MVP vote but every other award in baseball only allows three players to be voted on a ballot. So I figured I'd do a Top 10 list of the best rookie season from 1986.
In my first entry about my very first game I mentioned that Wally Joyner was robbed by Jose Canseco in the '86 ROY voting and I'll put that claim to the test. They were the only two to receive first place votes on the A.L. side with Mark Eichhorn and Cory Snyder receiving some secondary support. In the N.L. the award was won by Todd Worrell who had already become nationally known as he had been a late season call up in '85 and made the Cardinals postseason roster. He became a household name due to being involved in the infamous blown call by Don Denkinger in Game 6 of the World Series that would eventually cost the Cardinals the series. Worrell was a near unanimous choice as Kevin Mitchell was the only player to a receive a first place vote.
So who was the best rookie of 1986?
#10
147 ERA+, 2.59 K/BB, 1.21 WHIP, 23.1 VORP, 13 Win Shares
#9
.272/.299/.500, 62 RC, 115 OPS+, .276 EQA, 24.6 VORP, 13 Win Shares
#8
.287/.343/.444, 62 RC, 121 OPS+, .284 EQA, 22.1 VORP, 14 Win Shares
#7
.277/.344/.466, 53 RC, 125 OPS+, .290 EQA, 21.6 VORP, 14 Win Shares
#6
.250/.320/.463, 80 RC, 109 OPS+, .277 EQA, 24.6 VORP, 16 Win Shares
#5
175 ERA+, 1.78 K/BB, 1.23 WHIP, 26.5 VORP, 19 Win Shares
#4
.240/.318/.457, 86 RC, 115 OPS+, .286 EQA, 30.2 VORP, 21 Win Shares
#3
.270/.347/.489, 87 RC, 124 OPS+, .290 EQA, 35.4 VORP, 15 Win Shares
#2
.290/.348/.457, 95 RC, 119 OPS+, .292 EQA, 41.1 VORP, 21 Win Shares
#1
246 ERA+, 3.69 K/BB, 0.96 WHIP, 66.4 VORP, 21 Win Shares
Canadian Greats? He was born in San Jose.
Okay I was right that Jose Canseco robbed someone but it was actually Mark Eichhorn. Yes a middle reliever was the top rookie of 1986. He had actually made his MLB debut back in 1982 but didn't get another shot in the majors until four years later. He didn't make a start but pitched in 157 innings (five innings short of qualifying for the ERA title), striking out 166, and posting a 1.72 ERA in what would be by far his best year.
One more thing here's the career Win Shares rankings for the 33 players in that 1987 Topps Toys 'R' Us Rookies set. Ya big shock who's #1.
1. Barry Bonds 661
2. Barry Larkin 347
3. Will Clark 331
4. Jose Canseco 272
5. Wally Joyner 253
6. Ruben Sierra 222
7. Danny Tartabull 188
8. Kevin Mitchell 178
9. John Kruk 156
10. Robby Thompson 155
11. Kal Daniels 112
12. Pete Incaviglia 107
13. Dan Plesac 106
14. Todd Worrell 105
15. Mike LaValliere 95
16. Paul Assenmacher 86
17. Cory Snyder 85
18. Mark Eichhorn 83
19. Bruce Ruffin 76
20. Mitch Williams 75
21. Kurt Stillwell 73
22. Bo Jackson 72
23. Jim Deshaies 68
24. Dale Sveum 55
25. Eric King 50
26. John Cerutti 45
27. Andy Allanson 27
28. Scott Bailes 26
29. Andres Thomas 23
30. Greg Mathews 22
31. Charlie Kerfeld 15
32. Jim Traber 11
33. Ed Hearn 5
I thought about writing out some long rant against WM22 tonight, describing my apathy towards it...
Then I realized... I spent the last few weeks already displaying that sentiment. What else could I really add? I don't think it'll be a horrible show, I really don't. It won't be special though. It could have **** matches out the ass and It still wouldn't feel special because I haven't been given a reason to give a shit other then "It's fucking Mania".
I'll give quick predictions on each match
Triple H Vs John Cena
Winner: Triple H
Time: 24:45
Rating:**1/4
Rey Mysterio Vs Kurt Angle Vs Randy Orton
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Time: 17:30
Rating:***1/2
Hard-Core Match: Edge Vs Mick Foley
Winner: Edge
Time: 13:00
Rating:**3/4
Vince McMahon Vs HBK
Winner: HBK
Time: 20:30
Rating:***
Money in the Bank
Winner: Flair
Time: 18:00
Rating:***3/4
Trish Stratus Vs Mickie James
Winner: Mickie James
Time: 8:20
Rating:**1/4
Chris Benoit Vs JBL
Winner: JBL
Time: 13:50
Rating: ***3/4
TBS/Kane Vs Carlito/Masters
Winner: Carlito and Masters (DQ)
Time: 5:30
Rating: *1/4
Torrie Vs Candice
Winner: Candice
Time: Too long
Rating:DUD
Boogeyman Vs The T's
Winner: Boogeyman
Time: 3:45
Rating:*1/4
Undertaker Vs Mark Henry
Winner: Undertaker
Time: 10:25
Rating:*3/4
They probably throw Mexi-Cools Vs MnM on the pre-show.
I'll have complete response to the show, probably tommorow morning.
Well, the Final Four is wrapping up and thus nears the end of another college basketball season. Now we all complete those hippie bracket sheets at the start of the tournament, filled with hopes that our upset picks will come to fruition and that our predicted winners will coast to victory. But a funny thing always happens on the road to the Final Four -- they actually play the games and your picks get shot to hell. I'll man up though and take a look a what I thought were good selections a few weeks ago. All of my picks can be found in my March 16 entry:
The Good:
I had Texas making it to the regional finals and losing.
I predicted Shitt losing in the second round. However, I didn't expect them to lose to a 13 seed (although it doesn't really surprise me).
I got the bottom half of my Oakland bracket correct, which includes Alabama's first-round upset.
I picked Tennessee, a 2 seed, to lose in the second round, just to a different team than they actually did.
I selected Wisconsin-Milwaukee as a first-round upset (too bad I also had them as a second-round winner).
I had Georgetown beating the 2 seed Ohio State (but not Florida beating the Hoyas in the third round).
I picked Bucknell in that high-risk 8-9 seed matchup.
Forget The Bad, These Were Just Ugly:
I had Duke beating LSU and reaching the Final Four.
I had Syracuse reaching the third round.
Iowa beat Southern Illionis in the second round in my bracket; in reality West Virginia defeated Northwestern State.
Kansas reached the fourth round in kkk world.
Seton Hall was one of my Cinderella stories, what with them reaching the third round in my bracket, only to lose to North Carolina.
George Mason was a first-round exit.
Sure there were some other losses that hit my bracket hard, such as Boston College's early defeat (I had them winning it all). But hey, it was by only one point. It wasn't like they lost by 20 in the first round like the Seton Hall BUTT Pirates. Oh well, there's always next year. One thing I'll have to remember is not to listen to my woody telling me that the Big East is the way to go. I knew Villanova wasn't going to get to the Final Four, but I had a few of my upset specials come out of this conference, and the only thing special about these teams was the short bus that probably drove them to the arena.
Even though most of us can't pick these games worth shit, this is still way more enjoyable than the retarded way we determine so-called National Champions in Division I-A Football. Now although I think there should be some sort of playoff system, I can understand in a way those that want to keep these lame Bowel Game (that's not a type-o, btw). However, don't then even attempt to say one team deserves to be called "National Champs." If you want to end the college football season with conference play, then have the top teams play in meaningless one-game exhibitions a month or so later, that's great. But don't even try to make some determination of which team was the best for that year.
How many buys do you think WM will get, both domestically and internationally?
For comparison's sake, last year's did around 1,000,000 buys total, but only about 650,000 buys, which is very low for WM, were domestic. Do you think international buys can carry the WM brand again, or will the international scene be just as low as the domestic level?
Well, I'm not ordering "Wrestlemania" this year. Other than a few matches, I have little to no interest in the show. Cena vs. HHH is pointless, and you know HHH is going to win. The Triple Threat Match will be good, but the only good thing that could come out of it is Angle winning, which seems pretty unlikely at this point. Boogeyman vs. Booker: Poor Booker. I don't give a shit about the Pillow Fight, and neither do the fans. Then again, when was the last time the WWE did something that made the fans happy? Undertaker vs. Henry is pointless, other than to point out that Undertaker never jobs at Wrestlemania. The tag match doesn't interest me because lets face it, the titles are practically DOA. Edge vs. Mick is just sad. Edge should still be champ right now, is a great heel, and is the most over heel on Raw, yet he gets stuck with this bullshit.
Then there is Shawn vs. Vince. This is the worst feud of the year so far. There is no point to it other than to stroke Vince's ego, and there is no real hook to the match, other than "Vince is an Evil Asshole", which got tired a long time ago. Hopefully, after tomorrow night, the whole feud will be over, but at this point, I doubt it.
I was going to post a review for "Slither", but I changed my mind. I will say that it was awesome, and the most fun I've had in a theatre in ages.
So I wrote this after I got done with work at two in the morning so be nice.
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Years back when Vince first bought WCW, a simple question was asked: What happens when Vince is the holder of history? History has always been written by those in charge of it, whether they are nationalists, communists, republican or democrats (whether they were one or more of those); those in power will advocate a history that benefits them the most. Such are the stories of Andres Bonifacio, George Washington and the Black Sea Mutiny (in both Russian and Vietnamese literature). So how would Vince handle things?
Over the last few years, we’ve seen how Vince has handled things. We’ve seen how with limited leverage over history, he’s painted Bret Hart and Montreal and how he has reminisced about bringing wrestling out of the back alleys. We’ve seen with much more power how he’s authored a history of the Ultimate Warrior, and was planning a burial of Bret Hart. And then there’s the fact that he has bought up the libraries of many of his competitors and contemporaries. Vince wants to write not only his place in the history books, but he wants to write everyone else’s place as well. And Bret Hart just wants his little piece of the pie too.
So the big two questions that always gets asked when writing historiography is who is owns the history, and what is at stake. The two people fighting over the history are obviously Bret and Vince (and by proxy, Shawn, as his involvement and duplicity is a whole different issue). So then, what are they fighting over?
Bret’s obviously fighting over his own legacy, but the only way we can understand that is by looking at what Vince is fighting over. How does Vince’s battle with rewriting history affect Bret? The one situation that seems to always poke its head is Montreal. We know how Vince buried Bret after he left; how he buried his family; how he tried to spin things to make it look like Bret was going to hold the company hostage; that Bret wasn’t willing to do a time-honored tradition; and that at the end of the day, Vincent K. McMahon stood up to that bully, that he showed him who was boss, and that he showed him that no one was bigger than the business. And Vince does this because his pride is at stake, because he can’t afford to lose face, and because he can’t let it be known publicly that a shrewd negotiator within his legal rights could show up the genius himself. Like many of the themes in wrestling, Vince has to be in control. The rehashes all point toward the same direction; namely, that Vince needs to prove that he is in control (“Ring the bell”) as much as he has to prove that no one can do this too him, even a loyal veteran like Hart. And in doing so, Vince is linking Bret Hart’s career to a single moment.
On the other hand, Bret has different motivations. Bret had always felt that he was an artist, plain and simple. Maybe he’s a mark for thinking that (and maybe we’re all marks for thinking that there’s more to wrestling than two half-naked guys hitting each other to get a crowd to pop). But like any artist, Bret takes pride in his artwork. Fourteen years worth of that working under Vince McMahon. And when the situation presents itself where Vince is going to sing the same old song, only trotting out a different chorus, Bret doesn’t want his art to be smeared. He doesn’t want the lasting image of his career to be a deceitful stunt, but rather what he always intended to leave. That’s the reason he works on the project and leaves out the match; why he demands that Shawn not be present for his final moment. He doesn’t want it tainted by something that makes him sick. Maybe he has reached some sort of higher plain with Vince, but I doubt that’s true either; he probably sees Vince as a means to an end, and something he could justify. If Vince hadn’t put down the DVD project on the table, and filmed those interviews, Bret wouldn’t be here, because Vince isn’t trying to define his history. Bret has a chance to rewrite everything, end it on a different note, and change the perspective; given that leverage, no matter how many times Vince and Shawn play things out or act out their therapy (circle jerk) sessions live, Bret will have put down his stamp.
So then, we come back to the question of who owns this history. Bret hardly owns it, but Vince no longer has a firm grasp either. I’d like to think that it’s the fans, that at the end of the day they can absorb all the information and synthesize it and come to a decent conclusion. But yet this topic, like many of the nationalist debates in history, is far too polarizing to reach a suitable conclusion, and even level-headed conclusions are often lambasted by at least one of the sides. Maybe we don’t realize that there are histories of entire territories that have yet to be written or copied onto DVD, yet Vince is buying them and holding them hostage. Like Bret, Vince has a legacy to leave, only he sees his legacy and pro-wrestling’s legacy as one-and-the-same. So if Vince would go so far as to rewrite Bret’s legacy, how far will he go to write his own? And what will be left in the wake?
Before I go to the baseball game to make babies with A-Rod, I figured I'd throw in some filler!
John Cena (Champion) vs HHH - WWE Title Match - Ugh, what a horrible decision for Raw's title match. HHH is obviously winning. The only hopeful positive out of this match is that Cena turns heel afterwards. However, the problem with that is he'll be stuck as 2nd heel behind HHH, which is a deep, dark abyss of no hope. Match will probably be way too long, as usual with HHH thinking he puts on wrestling classics, with HHH controlling 90% of the match with his boring offense.
Winner - HHH.
Rating - **ish
Rey Misterio Jr vs Kurt Angle (Champion) vs Randy Orton - World Title Match - We know Rey and Angle will bring the goods. And Orton usually puts on strong performances in the big matches. I'm fine with Angle or Orton winning. Not with Rey. Simply because he's the ghost of Eddie, minus a few inches. Over/Under of 20 mentions to Eddie if Rey wins the title. And that will make me sick when it happens. If the focus was on Rey winning, then it would be up there in emotion like when Benoit won the title... which sadly, won't happen. And Rey will get a meaningless short run that sends him back to the midcard in a couple months.
Winner: Rey
Rating: ****ish.
Shawn Michaels vs Vince McMahon - I refuse to watch any McMahon shit.
Winner - Nobody.
Rating - negative *****.
Money in the Bank - RVD, Flair, Shelton, Matt Hardy, Lashley, Finlay - I'm confused by some of the entrants here. I don't care how much people like Flair's work lately, he shouldn't be in the ring anymore. Finlay still looks good, but he just doesn't make sense in a match like this. Shelton and Matt will be bumping machines, and Lashley will toss them around. And RVD will win. Another problem with the entrants here... RVD is the only believable winner, and maybe Lashley, but his push has been cut back some. And RVD with a title shot is only going to lead to lots of negativity to all the hopeful, stubborn RVD fans out there...
Winner: RVD
Rating: ***1/2ish
Undertaker vs. Mark Henry - Casket Match - Duh. Taker is winning. That's about all here. The match will suck, because all casket matches suck, and these two are limited. Oh, but maybe Taker will bust out a TRIANGLE CHOKE AND HE'LL BE SO MMA AND THE GREATEST WORKER EVER. For about a week. Don't really care about this one, for good reason.
Winner: Undertaker
Rating: *ish
Edge vs. Mick Foley - Hardcore Match - Oh, go the fuck away, Foley. I have zero desire to see him anymore. Plus, Mick looks so damn FAT, and I doubt he puts on his working boots to make Edge look great here. Besides, Edge is eternally buried from the ME, so it doesn't matter much anyway. I have a feeling this one could really be ugly, and like the hardcore matches of earlier this decade... with garbage can lids, and cookie pans, and such lameness. And Edge wins, of course.
Winner - Edge
Rating - *
Chris Benoit vs JBL - US Title Match - This one should be good. One of the best mic workers in WWE vs. one of the best ring workers. Benoit is going to do a great job making Bradshaw look good here. And Bradshaw has shown he can work decent brawl-like matches with people like Benoit. I'd like Bradshaw to win this... he'd be great with the US title. The title he should have had all along in 2004.
Winner - JBL.
Rating - ***
Kane & Big Show vs Carlito & Chris Masters - World Tag Team Title Match - Kane & Show have the tag titles? Yeah, I know it's cool to not know who the crappy title holders are, but I really had no idea. Don't care at all about this one. Carlito & Masters are going to win. Carlito is a snore in the ring 95% of the time, and I want Masters murdered for putting so much suckage on my television.
Winner - Carlito & Masters.
Rating - *.
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - Women's Title Match - The bloody kiss was so fucking hawt... but, I don't really care about this match. It won't be a work of art. And I don't care who wins. I just hope Laree does some more psycho shit. I guess Laree wins, because Trish had that look on Raw, with the somewhat laziness in her match, that she might be losing here.
Winner - Mickie James
Rating - *
Boogeyman vs Booker T - Boogeyman shouldn't be in any matches. I just hope Booker wins. He's been playing his heel character really well lately, too. Booker is too good for this shit.
Winner - Booker T
Rating - DUD.
Torrie Wilson v Candice Michelle - Playboy Pillow Fight - Stupid, stupid, stupid. And neither of these women are hot, either. If someone like Stacy was involved, I would have at least watched. This will be FF'd on Monday. I guess Torrie wins, because she always wins.
Winner - Torrie Wilson.
Rating - negatives.
