Yesterday I wrote about my trip to Game 3 of the NLCS and what a magical experience it was. The next night I headed out to Game 4 with another friend in hopes the Pirates could tie the series up at two games apiece. We headed to Three Rivers Stadium without any problems, and we found our seats just fine. The problem was that the drunken asshole seated in the row above us found their seats; they also had been able to find the nearest booze stand as well. For the first few innings of the game things were harmless enough, then sometime around the third inning when the Pirates made a clutch hit or something (I forgot what it was) two of these drunks fell down onto me. Well, at least they didn’t throw up, even though my knees banged off the concrete and hurt like hell for a little while afterward.
After falling onto me, one of these assholes began verbally harassing me. Of course, for about 15 minutes I didn’t realize he was trying to get my attention. He finally had to tap me on my shoulder and say, “Hey, I’m talking to you.” Seeing how this guy weighed at least 75 pounds more than me and was drunk off his ass, I simply turned around and went back to watching the game; amazingly enough he stopped talking about the homosexual acts he wanted to do with me and turned his attention to someone of the opposite sex – this female Braves fan (and her boyfriend) in the row behind him. It was sometime around the fifth inning when I began to hear some escalated shouting from behind my row. I turned around and saw the drunken idiot standing up and getting in the faces of those two aforementioned Braves fans. Without missing a beat I nudged my friend and showed him the trouble that was about to ensue. We both stood up and moved away from our seats. As we did this, the drunk took a swing at the other guy’s girlfriend and the boyfriend responded in kind. Seconds after we left our seats and moved, these two guys came crashing onto our seats and proceeded to wrestle down at least a half-dozen other rows. Chaos then ensued and everybody who had been watching the game in our section suddenly stood up and watched this fight.
Oddly enough, the 90-year old “security guard” in our section wasn’t able to settle things down, and it took several ushers of considerable younger age, and muscle mass, to separate the two brawlers. I’m not sure what happened to the idiot behind me, but he and his friends didn’t return to their seats. Unfortunately, neither did the couple that was being harassed by an asshole that thought going to a ballgame meant getting liquored up and causing a disturbance. I know nothing probably happened to this asshole, but I always hoped the Braves couple sued him.
The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. The Pirates lost and faced a three games to one deficit. Regrettably, I had the chance to purchase Game 5 tickets when I initially bought my Games 3 and 4 tickets, but I decided not to. The reason I regret this decision is because the Pirates took Game 5 thanks to a gutsy performance by pitcher Bob Walk. This guy wasn’t the most talented player out there, but he managed to find ways to win more times than naught. (Currently, he’s a Pirates broadcaster, or at least I still think he is one.) Thanks to another Wakefield performance in Game 6, the Pirates took this series to a Game 7, where they were just one out away from going to the World Series. Oh well, my other favorite team at the time, the Toronto Blue Jays, beat the Braves to win their fires-ever World Series title. And you know what? On the night the Jays won it all, my friend who was with me for Game 3 had a party at his house that got out of control, but that’s another story for another day – like say, tomorrow.
Just got a home a little while ago from my first A's game of the year against the Rangers. There's that old cheesy saying that everytime you watch a baseball game you might see something you've never seen before and today was that day for me. Was really looking forward to seeing Rich Harden pitch since he came pretty damn close to throwing a no hitter against the Rangers last season and seeing Baseball Tonight's favortie pitcher Vincente Padilla. The weather was miserable early as we've had about six weeks straight of rain in the Bay Area and it although it never really poured today there was non-stop drizzle for about the first three innings.
It was evident early on that Harden wasn't on today as he had trouble finding the strike zone and would end up walking five on the day. In the 4th Mark Teixeira lead off with a double to right, missing a homerun by about two feet. Phil Nevin came up next and I saw something I'm not sure I've seen before or at least something you don't see very often. He grounded to ball to right to Marco Scutaro for Buster Olney's favorite thing a productive out. Atlhough it didn't turn out that way as Scutaro from 2nd threw to 3rd to get Teixeira. You'll often see that play made by a shortstop but I don't know if I've a second baseman make that play. Of course there's a fine line in baseball between a head's up play and a stupid play and I'm not sure Teixeira didn't beat the throw to 3rd, I was on the first base side so I didn't have a good view of the play, but they got the out and probably saved a run that inning. Now a fielder's choice isn't exactly something I'm gonna remember or worth a blog entry over but I did have something to remember in the 6th.
In the 5th, Nick Swisher made a nice leaping grab against the wall to rob Gerald Laird of extra bases and then with two out in the bottom of the inning crushed a towering homerun to right to give the A's a 2-1 lead. Harden seemed to be settling in by then but with two out in the 6th he competely lost the strike zone again, walking Michael Young and Teixeira. Next batter, Nevin, homerun, 4-2 Rangers, and the A's staring at a 5th straight loss. But then it happeend in the bottom of the inning.
Eric Chavez. First pitch. Homerun.
Frank Thomas. First pitch. Homerun.
Milton Bradley. First pitch. Homerun.
Three pitches, three homeruns, and that's it for Padilla. Absolutely amazing stuff. I've never seen back-to-back-to-back homeruns live in person and I don't think I've ever seen it happen on three straight pitches, let alone the first three pitches of an inning. Very cool to see a first ballot Hall of Famer in Thomas mixed in there as well. The rest of the game was fairly uneventful but that was a moment I'll never forget.
Since this blog is about nostalgia for the most part and since I'm talking about the A's and three homeruns might as well bring up the times I've seen three homeruns by one player in person. First one came on May 7, 1991 against Baltimore as Harold Banies hit three homeruns. Hit a two run homerun off of Ben McDonald in the 1st, a three run homerun off of Dave Johnson in the 4th, and a solo homerun off of Jeff Robinson it the 6th. He had a chance for a four homeruns in the 8th but they Orioles walked him. Second time I saw it happen was June 11, 1999 against Los Angeles as Miguel Tejada pulled off the feat. Two run homer against Carlos Perez in the 1st, two run homer against Onan Masaoka in the 3rd, and solo homerun against Doug Bochtler in the 7th.
28.
No, this isn't the good type of Penis...
6) Venus Williams wins 2005 Wimbledon.
The regular sports fan, and even some of the smarter tennis fans, often ask me why I was in uber-bitch mode after 2005 Wimbledon.
"But, Venus is still like one of the best players in the world." No, she isn't.
"Maria won in 2004, and you hate her guts!" Yes, but this was a million times worse.
"VEE REE R NUMBA #1" Fuck you. Die.
By no means am I a Williams' hater like so many people out there. I appreciated their games from 1999-2004. They worked hard to be the best in the world, and used their impeccable talents to dominate the game. Yes, when they faced each other in 4 straight grand slam finals, it was very ugly tennis to watch... but, hell if I know how it feels to face your sister in situations like that.
The problems ensued in 2005... and not with Serena winning the Australian Open that year. That was a deserved win... despite Lindsay Davenport sucking and blowing in a grand slam for the 1242th time.
It started in the Miami QF with Serena, and older sister, Penis. Penis was really struggling at the time, and soon to drop out of the Top 20. And Serena blatantly tanked said match, so Penis wouldn't drop off the face of the earth. Not that the Willies' haven't done these sorts of things for each other before... but, this was telling.
Telling because Penis didn't give a fuck.
Fast forward to Roland Garros 2005. Watch Penis lose to Sesil Karatancheva. More specifically, watch that 3rd set. The absolute worst tennis I've ever seen from a professional player.
Being a tennis instructor, I know some things. And it was obvious that Penis hardly practiced. You don't miss groundstrokes like that by accident.
Then, 2 weeks later at Wimbledon... Penis is about to go down to one of the worst players on tour in the early rounds, but barely survives. The bad thing is that this gave her some practice, and some confidence. And her future opponents, including slug Lindsay Davenport choked against Penis in the final, and the unthinkable happens.
A player who barely tries, and plays half-ass, wins the biggest tournament of the year.
This still pisses me off. I know a few of the girls on tour. They bust their ass 365 days a year to try and survive on tour. And this bitch just waltzes in, and wins it all.
Proving life isn't fair. And hard work doesn't always matter.
As of 2006, it looks like the Williams' may finally be retired. They're a sad story. Even moreso, Serena than Venus... because we should be speaking of Serena in the same breath as legends like Navratilova and Graf, with Serena's unmatched talents.
But, I guess it's more important to be a crack ho, or being an F-list "actress", than using these talents.
That's why it's hard to be a tennis fan, sometimes. If the players don't give a shit, why should the fans?
I have never seen a team as complete as the Sharks. They are unreal. The only true threat to them is the Stars, but they have questions in net. I am convinced that the Sharks will put California hockey on the map, at which point I will kill myself.
On another note, Luc Robitaille's final game is tonight. He is a legend in every sense of the word. Ranks 10th all-time in goalscoring, ranks 1st among LW's in goalscoring, and is 1st in LA Kings goalscoring. I'll miss hearing the Staples Center chant Luuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccc every time he touches the puck. Most underrated player of all time? I think so. Can't wait for his number to be retired, which will undoubtedly be against Montreal next season.
He will be missed.
With Part I of this 20 part series focusing on the first wrestling event I attended, I thought I would skip right to the most recent event for this installment:
One day into a trip I took to New York City, I remembered reading that a wreslting show was going to be held around the time I would be there. Using the internet kiosk at the Times Square Visitor Center, I confirmed that there was a show taking place on the upcoming Saturday. On December 3, 2005, I attended my first Ring of Honor show - Steel Cage Warfare.
The venue was a place known as "Basketball City". It seemed like an odd place to go to watch a wrestling event, although from the outside (and even inside, when all the normal lights were on) it had this weird "Mini Trump Plaza" look to it, looking a bit like being at WrestleMania IV or V. I believe they were supposed to let people in for 6:30pm to watch some pre-show matches by guys from Pro Wrestling Iron. I arrived to the building at 5pm, very anxious to get a ticket as I was not familiar with how well ROH pre-sales go. While waiting in the "Lobby" area with several other people, wrestlers kept entering through the door with their bags. Samoa Joe was fairy cool, giving everyone a "hey everybody enjoy the show!" greeting was he walked through. For the most part, it was not like the typical crowd that I waited around with for a show to start. These were people reading copies of the Observer and discussing why they didn't like WWE at the moment. The glaring exception to this was a couple that looked like they came straight from the trailer park, with the guy wearing an Ultimate Warrior t-shirt and his lady companion asking any individual that walked by if they were a wrestler (except when Austin Aries or even Samoa Joe walked by, she said nothing, then asked people around who she heard talking to them if they were wrestlers). Finally, a bit later then scheduled, they began to let people up the only stairwell to the ring area, and after a few minutes I found that not only could I get a ticket, but I could get a 2nd row ticket (I think they just added more chairs for peopel willing to pay more money than the advertised ticket cost). I was very happy at this point.
Before the show even began, I found myself being a mark for being part of a NYC wrestling crowd. I saw Vlad the Superfan and Green Lantern Fan! I couldn't believe it! During intermission and before the show I ended up talking with people I was sitting around - a good bunch of people. One of them was telling me how he enjoyed seeing Joe/Kobashi but the venue was a dump, and that he gave up on WWE when Jericho left. The crowd seemed pretty hot for everything, although there was this smartass near me (who admittedly was amusing at times) that kept yelling "take it home" and some smarkish lingo during the opening match. There was another guy who would yell "Green Lantern Sucks!" during a lull, I guess if he noticed GLF was doing something for attention. The crowd reaction during the Joe/Lethal match was great, and although it was split at the beginning, people really got on Lethal after his heel turn mid-match.
The main event in the cage between Generation Next and the Embassy was pretty good. Jack Evans' dives were amazing, and a lot of people around me were crying foul at his somewhat quick elimination after his big spots. I didn't care, really... he did his spots and got eliminated, which seemed perfect for Evans. I've enjoyed Alex Shelley's work since seeing him at a BCW show, so I was happy to see him in the main event, putting on a good match. I've really came around to liking Abyss in 2005, too.
Overall, a fantastic night that made me happy to be a wrestling fan. While I've enjoyed being a part of all the big budget WWE TV tapings and PPVs I've attended, and seeing the "big name" superstars wrestle at house shows in large arenas, going to indy shows throughout 2005 was a great experience, but there will be more on my independant experience when I talk about Border City Wrestling shows in future installments.
27.
I used to be a huge Knicks fan, back in the day. And not just because they were sort of successful in the mid 90's. The players on the team were awesome. How could you not love the hustle of Charles Oakley. The disgusting sweating gorilla, Patrick Ewing. Anthony Mason, the big, mean, really ugly dude who'd overpower everyone... and looked like a porn star shoving her tits out, every time he dribbled. Even guards like Starks and Derek Harper would get into it with people, while bricking most of their shots. The Knicks were an awesome group of big cheaters, and everyone hated them. So, of course, I liked them.
Now, they're horrible. But, this trend started long before drooling moron Isiah Thomas thought the guard connection of Starbury and the Franchise could coexist, and EVERYONE ELSE knew it would fail. And seriously trading for noted asshole, Tim Thomas. And the Scott Layden years before that, when they had like 8 shooting guards in the lineup.
But, this all started nearly a decade ago. The Knicks were cool when they were all big, burly foul machines. Not petty thugs, who seriously try to murder people.
7) The Knicks sign Spree.
Just look at this asshole. Enough reason not to sign him.
I don't care that the Knicks made the finals in '99. This signing alone killed my love for the Knicks. And for that, Spree will always be hated.
The end.
I can tend to be a bit cynical and negative at times when talking about various things, so I figured why not share a happy memory? No, this won’t be about my wedding or a recent holiday experience with my family – like I said, I want to talk about a joyous occasion.
Whenever a kid gets his or her driver’s license (I’m not talking about that hippie permit, I’m talking about the bona fide piece of plastic letting you drive by yourself) one of the first things they want to do is take a few friends and shoot off somewhere to cause havoc and mayhem. Well, my first experience with this passage into manhood took place back in 1992. Now before this time I went with friends on a number of trips to places such as amusement parks and parties/get-togethers, but it was always with someone else driving. This time I would be the person in charge of navigation. What was this trip, you ask? It was to Game 3 of the 1992 NLCS between the Pirates and the Braves.
Back a long time ago the Pirates were actually a good team with good players. Well, they were good until the postseason hit; that was when the Andy Van Slykes, Bobby Bonillas and Barry Bonds(s) of the world wouldn’t hit. The Pirates had lost in the NLCS the previous two years, and this year there wasn’t any reason for optimism. Sure the Bucs lost to a better Reds team in the 1990 NLCS, but they had a golden opportunity to advance to the ’91 World Series but lost to the Braves, at home, in Games 6 and 7. This year, the Braves had gotten better, and the Pirates lost several key members from their ’91 team, including Bonilla. There was no reason to think the Pirates would advance to the Series in ’92, and the first two games against the Braves didn’t leave much optimism for Pirate fans. However, even though the thought of going through another grueling summer of baseball only to see the home team come up short wasn’t too appealing for me, this year was going to be different. Why? Because I was going to go to Game 3 with one of my best friends at the time, and we were going to go unsupervised.
After school ended for the day, we engaged in the initiation of a high-school freshman we had wanted to duct tape to a telephone pole for some time, but that’s another story for another time. After this fun was over, we headed to Shittsburgh in my dad’s pick-up truck that he agreed to lend me for the weekend. We pulled into an underground parking lot and made our way to Three Rivers Stadium. Even though the Pirates got manhandled in the first two games at Atlanta, it was a pretty upbeat environment at the ballpark. You see, back in ’92 the Pirates had this “rookie” knuckleball pitcher that was an unexpected surprise for the team, going 8-1 his first year in the big leagues. Who was this newcomer that was scheduled to pitch in Game 3? Some of you BoSox fans might know him as Tim Wakefield.
When we got to our seats, the crowd, which had been criticized for being lackluster in size and noise, was near deafening even before the pre-game introductions. And when Wakefield retired the Braves in the first inning, the crowd went wild. Even when the Braves took an early 1-0 lead, there was something about this game that told everyone in attendance the Pirates were going to find a way to win. And after Wakefield got the last batter out for the 3-2 victory, every fan at the ballpark had this feeling that the Pirates had a chance in this series; they might not win, but they weren’t going to roll over and die in four or five games. And the best part of this experience is that my friend and I got to enjoy it all to ourselves -- no parents, no chaperone, no big siblings, just the two of us; this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to a Brokeback Moment.
Now even though I had my driver’s license, it was still only a Junior License, which meant I wasn’t allowed to be out on the road after midnight. Well, this game got finished pretty late, and the traffic was crazy when we got to the truck back in the underground parking lot. For a 16-year old who was driving his dad’s stick shift, I thought it would be in everybody’s best interest if my friend and I just sat in the truck and finished off the pizza we bought for dinner until the traffic lightened up. About 45 minutes passed and we decided now would be a good time to head out. By now it was after midnight and traffic was still heavy, but not nearly as congested as it was before. As I pulled out of the garage on the street a police officer on traffic patrol suddenly pointed to me and yelled at me to stop: my heart stopped – was I getting busted for driving after midnight? My friend wasn’t providing much comfort, saying out loud, “God damn pigs, why don’t that just leave us alone? Fucking cops.” When I rolled down my window, he informed me that my headlights weren’t on. With all that time spent in the lighted garage, my eyes got adjusted to the darkness and didn’t realize my need to turn on my headlights. I thanked the officer, elbowed my friend in the ribs for shooting his mouth off loud enough for me (but thankfully not the officer) to hear, and the rest of the trip home was without incident.
Game 3 of the 1992 NLCS was an experience I’ll never forget. I also went to Game 4 with another friend, and that experience was an unforgettable time as well, but for other reasons as I’ll share with you tomorrow.
Took a different rout with the next Draftback by just focusing on the top quarterbacks to come out of each draft with brief comments on each class.
1980
Good depth but not one star came out of this class. Marc Wilson only had one year as a starter that he threw more touchdowns than interceptions. Mark Malone had to follow Terry Bradshaw and he was just awful. David Woodley had his 15 minutes of fame when he started Super Bowl XVII but he was not a good quarterback and only lasted until 1985, although as an 8th round pick you’d have to consider him a good value pick. Gary Hogeboom now of course now best know for being a contestant on Survivor.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Marc Wilson, 15th overall by L.A. Raiders, BYU, 14391 yards
2. Erik Hipple, 85th overall by Detroit, Utah State, 10711 yards
3. Mark Malone, 28th overall by Pittsburgh, Arizona State, 10175 yards
4. Gary Hogeboom, 133rd overall by Dallas, Central Michigan, 9436 yards
5. David Woodley, 214th pick by Miami, LSU, 8558 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Gene Bradley, 37th overall by Buffalo, Arkansas State
1981
Very little depth although did produce two pretty good quarterbacks from small schools in Neil Lomax and Wade Wilson. Rich Campbell was selected 6th overall by the Packers in one of the all-time draft blunders as he threw just 68 passes in the NFL. They passed on Ronnie Lott to pick Campbell. Whoops!
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Neil Lomax, 33rd overall by St. Louis, Portland State, 22771 yards
2. Wade Wilson, 210th overall by Minnesota, East Texas State, 17283 yards
3. Dave Wilson, Supplemental pick by New Orleans, Illinois, 6987 yards
4. Mark Herrmann, 98th overall by Denver, Purdue, 4015 yards
5. Bob Gagliano, 319th overall by Kansas City, Utah State, 3431 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Brad Wright, 96th overall by Miami, New Mexico
1982
Basically just Jim McMahon and a whole lot of nothing. Mike Pagel hung around for a long time as a back up. Does feature one of the greatest busts in sports history as the Colts drafted Art Schlichter as the 4th pick overall who’s career would derail very quickly due to the fact that he was a degenerate gambler.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Jim McMahon, 5th overall by Chicago, BYU, 18148 yards
2. Mike Pagel, 84th overall by Baltimore, Arizona State, 9414 yards
3. Oliver Luck, 44th overall by Houston, West Virginia, 2544 yards
4. Matt Kofler, 48th overall by Buffalo, San Diego State, 1156 yards
5. Art Schlichter, 4th overall by Baltimore, Ohio State, 1006 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Mike Kelley, 149th overall by Atlanta, Georgia Tech
1983
This draft doesn’t need introduction as it produced three Hall of Famers. Todd Blackledge was the one true bust of this famous 1st round and it’s amazing that he went so high. Bad luck back-to-back years for the Colts as we all know Elway was drafted #1 by them but whined his way into a trade.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Dan Marino, 27th overall by Miami, Pittsburgh, 61361 yards
2. John Elway, 1st overall by Baltimore, Stanford, 51475 yards
3. Jim Kelly, 14th overall by Buffalo, Miami, 35467 yards
4. Ken O’Brien, 24th overall by N.Y. Jets, UC Davis, 25094 yards
5. Tony Eason, 15th overall by New England, Illinois, 11142 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Jeff Christensen, 137th overall by Cincinnati, Eastern Illinois
1984
No first round quarterback in this draft but it did produce decent depth with one standout in Boomer Esiason and a Super Bowl winner in Jeff Hostetler. I don’t know how Jay Schroeder ended up with 20,000+ yards passing.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Boomer Esiason, 38th overall by Cincinnati, Maryland, 37920 yards
2. Jay Schroeder, 83rd overall by Washington, UCLA, 20063 yards
3. Jeff Hostetler, 59th overall by N.Y. Giants, West Virginia, 16430 yards
4. Randy Wright, 153rd overall by Green Bay, Wisconsin, 7106 yards
5. Steve Pelluer, 113th overall by Dallas, Washington, 6870 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Rick McIvor, 80th overall by St. Louis, Texas
1984 Supplemental
The ’84 Supplemental Draft was different from any other as it was to draft the rights to USFL players (those who NFL teams didn’t own the rights to already) and a handful of CFL players. The draft was three rounds with 84 picks. Steve Young was #1 overall and was only one of two quarterbacks from the draft to throw a pass in the NFL. Young had already signed with the Los Angeles Express so he wasn’t eligible for the regular draft.
1. Steve Young, 1st overall by Tampa Bay, BYU, 33124 yards
2. Frank Seurer, 76th overall by Seattle, Kansas, 340 yards
1985
In terms of overall depth there was very little as there was no quarterback picked in the first round and only 11 quarterbacks selected overall, but a very good group of quarterbacks did come out of this draft all with very different career paths. Due to quirk the in the draft rules at the time because he wasn’t a senior Bernie Kosar was able to declare himself eligible after the regular draft and be taken in the supplemental draft so he could play for his hometown Browns.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Randall Cunningham, 37th overall by Philadelphia, UNLV, 29979 yards
2. Bernie Kosar, Supplemental pick by Cleveland, Miami, 23301 yards
3. Doug Flutie, 285th overall by L.A. Rams, Boston College, 14715 yards
4. Steve Bono, 142nd overall by Minnesota, UCLA, 10439 yards
5. Frank Reich, 57th overall by Buffalo, Maryland, 6075 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Scott Barry, 168th overall by San Francisco, UC Davis
1986
Lots of quarterbacks drafted in the first few rounds but some what of an underwhelming group led by Jim Everett and Mary Rypien. Featured a pretty big bust in Chuck Long. I always hated Bubby Brister. Come on his name was Bubby!
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Jim Everett, 3rd overall by Houston, Purdue, 34837 yards
2. Mark Rypien, 146th overall by Washington, Washington State, 18473 yards
3. Bubby Brister, 67th overall by Pittsburgh, NE Louisiana, 14445 yards
4. Jack Trudeau, 47th overall by Indianapolis, Illinos, 10243 yards
5. Hugh Millen, 71st overall by L.A. Rams, Washington, 6440 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Robbie Bosco, 72nd overall by Green Bay, BYU
1987
Doesn’t the have star power of the ’83 Draft but this was a very deep quarterback class with four first round picks. Just outside the Top 5 in passing yards was Packers quarterback Don Majkowski who had one great season in 1989 but injuries derailed his career. Draft does feature a huge bust in Kelly Stouffer who the Cardinals picked 6th overall. A first round bust by the Cardinals? Go figure.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Vinny Testaverde, 1st overall by Tampa Bay, Miami, 45252 yards
2. Rich Gannon, 98th overall by New England, Delaware, 28743 yards
3. Jim Harbaugh, 26th overall by Chicago, Michigan, 26288 yards
4. Steve Beurlein, 110th overall by L.A. Raiders, Notre Dame, 24046 yards
5. Chris Miller, 13th overall by Atlanta, Oregon, 19320 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Doug Hudson, 186th overall by Kansas City, Nicholls State
1988
Although it did produce two quarterbacks who started Super Bowls, this was an incredibly weak class with zero depth. No quarterback was taken until the 3rd round when the Cardinals picked Tom Tupa who’s long term future ended being as a punter. Of the 13 qb’s selected, only five threw a pass in the NFL. Did feature two CFL standouts in Danny McManus and Kerwin Bell.
Top 5 Passing Yards
1. Chris Chandler, 76th overall by Indianapolis, Washington, 28484 yards
2. Stan Humphries, 159th overall by Washington, NE Louisiana, 17191 yards
3. Tom Tupa, 68th overall by Phoenix, Ohio State, 3430 yards
4. Scott Secules, 151st overall by Dallas, Virginia, 1311 yards
5. Kerwin Bell, 180th overall by Miami, Florida, 75 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Don McPherson, 149th overall by Philadelphia, Syracuse
1989
Pretty much the Troy Aikman class although I suppose Rodney Peete had his moments. Cowboys picked Aikman #1 overall and then took Steve Walsh in the supplemental draft. Many thought Walsh would be better than Aikman. Many of us don’t know anything.
1. Troy Aikman, 1st overall by Dallas, UCLA, 32942 yards
2. Rodney Peete, 141st overall by Detroit, USC, 16338 yards
3. Billy Joe Tolliver, 51st overall by San Diego, Texas Tech, 10760 yards
4. Steve Walsh, Supplemental Pick by Dallas, 7875 yards
5. Timm Rosenbach, Supplemental Pick by Phoenix, Washington State, 3676 yards
Highest Pick Not to Throw a Pass: Jeff Graham, 87th overall by Green Bay, Long Beach State
[Today's entry is not from the Recliner of Rage; it is from the Recliner of Rejoicing.]
Hi there Ortonsault, are you comfortable and happy?
Comfortable and gay*, TSM.
Then go ahead and speak for America, Ortonsault.
Ok, here it goes. I've played the last 3 seasons of wwe.com's WWE Fantasy game. Last season, I had the fourth highest overall score in week 5. Therefore, I won a WWE SHOP t-shirt. But, the t-shirt would be chosen by WWE, not me. I doubted whether it would ever arrive.
Today, however, I received a 12x14 package. It was from Stamford, CT. The cost of shipping was $2.31. The return address was stamped on, but my name and address were handwritten. I immediately ripped open the package in order to discover which t-shirt I had received. I was hoping like heck that it was not a stupid John Cena shirt. Of course a Randy Orton shirt would be just dandy, but I wasn't expecting anything.
I pulled out the shirt from its plastic prison and discovered it was... Edge's Rated R Superstar shirt. It's not that bad. A non-fan of WWE wouldn't know that it's about Edge. The front says, "Rated R Superstar," and the back says, "May contain: foul language, excessive violence & strong sexual situations." It has a WM22 logo at the top of the backside instead of the usual WWE logo.
Bottom line, America? I'm not sure what to do with this shirt. It's a good shirt by WWE standards. But if I ever go to another WWE show, I'll probably wear the only shirt I ever bought from WWE: the Kaientai "Evil" shirt. Maybe I'll sell it, but WWE seems to frown on doing that. Maybe I'll give it to a worthy human being. At least it made me optimistic that I'll get my other, better prize eventually (that's Part II).
Footnotes
* cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry
Not as a grain of salt, but today (or really several days ago) was the 100th annversry of animation in the United States.
Didnt know there was a birthday party? Well, there is. But sadly its small and there was not many faces that were reconizable.
Its just that- fate- a industry that put its heart and soul out there only to get manhandled by the rest of the buisness.
If there is anything needing such great honor and praise, its this genre.
However, there is one thing good about this and two bad things about it.
The first bad thing about it is that it's has become a utterly sad issue, when you celbrations over things that we have no control over, or shouldnt be in the minds of people that truly do care- about themselfs first of all or other people. Glaad celerbrations are not going to save a gay man getting knocked the shit out of him, all because some idiot thinks its Holy to take care of this miscraint. No equality parade is not going to change two parents minds on how a child should be raised.
The second bad thing, and its partly connected to the first- is that were becoming jacks of all trades and masters of none. In 20 years, thanks to the issues at Nick and Turner Kids, we will have a animation birthday, however- it would be a popluar one, filled what what ever pseudo-consertive/repressed neo-flowerchild/neo-yaoi shota trap that Hollywood calls the next great era. And you would have your future stars, in desiner bodies, in all kinds of writhing and screaming and creaming in to every single hole they can think of, it doesnt matter if its pie, or a 8 year old child. And this is to be promoted by the 800 (now 1500) pound gorillas as the greatest time in animation- no rather entertaiment history.
But the good thing is about this small party, is that it had no stars, it just had the animators and the storyboarders and those in the last great union that ever made sense in the nation. It was them, however lost they all seemed in the world, as we are all are, and uncertian of the future the business would hold as all animation fans are. Living in that moment- just rememering what took place before.
We have seen what is gone wrong with the buiness. Even Adult Swim is not immune to a future that is happeing and nobody liking the results.
But times change, the truth comes out- and we see what our parents have left us.
Its time to pick up the pieces of the great things, and destory the old system of doing things.
Thats the only way we will see this genre have 200 more years.
I'm running a greatest teams tournament on Strategic Baseball Simulator, and I figured I would post the results here. I am running the tournament in the same manner of the College World Series. It is extremely unscientific, so take any results with a grain of salt. The tournament consists of four rounds...
Regionals
Sixteen separate four team brackets. The competition is double-elimination, meaning the losers fall into a second bracket. Teams are eliminated after two losses.
Super Regionals
Eight brackets of two teams each. Best of three games.
Semifinals
This is where the competition reaches Omaha in the College version. Again we have two brackets of four teams each, double elimination.
Championship
Final two teams in a best of three competition.
In order to even things up, I divided the tournament into four eras. 1901-34, 1935-65, 1966-87, and 1988-2005. Each era contains an approximately even number of teams in their talent pool. There have been about 2,100 teams since 1900, and each era contains about 550. (This is the kind of stuff you do to pass time in a boring class). Here are the entrants.
'14 BosN @ '06 ChC
'34 StL @ '32 NYY
'06 Cubs 3, '14 Braves 2
'34 Cardinals 5, '32 Yankees 1
'19 Cin @ '21 NYG
'35 ChC @ '12 BosA
'21 Giants 14, '19 Reds 5
'35 Cubs 3, '12 Red Sox 0
'19 CWS @ '29 PhA
'07 Det @ '27 NYY
'19 White Sox 8, '29 Athletics 3
'27 Yankees 8, '07 Tigers 6
'09 Pit @ '12 NYG
'24 Was @ '11 PhA
'12 Giants 9, '09 Pirates 6
'24 Senators 9, '11 Athletics 4
'50 Phi @ '53 NYY
'57 Mil @ '54 Cle
'53 Yankees 2, '50 Phillies 1
'57 Braves 4, '54 Indians 0
'62 SF @ '55 Brk
'41 Brk @ '46 StL
'62 Giants 10, '55 Dodgers 6
'41 Dodgers 10, '46 Cardinals 8
'65 Min @ '61 NYY
'46 Bos @ '63 LAD
'61 Yankees 7, '65 Twins 5
'63 Dodgers 3, '46 Red Sox 0
'35 Det @ '40 Cin
'59 CWS @ '39 NYY
'40 Reds 3, '35 Tigers 1
'39 Yankees 10, '59 White Sox 5
I'm taking a break from the games for a moment to briefly discuss the managers. Several managers have two teams in the tournament. Walter Alston manages three teams, the '55, '63 and '74 Dodgers. Here are the other multi-team managers.
Sparky Anderson ('75 Reds, '84 Tigers)
Bobby Cox ('92 Braves, '98 Braves)
Alvin Dark ('62 Giants, '74 Athletics)
Tony LaRussa ('88 Athletics, 2004 Cardinals)
Al Lopez ('54 Indians, '59 White Sox)
Connie Mack ('11 Athletics, '29 Athletics)
Joe McCarthy ('32 Yankees, '39 Yankees)
John McGraw ('12 Giants, '21 Giants)
Joe Torre ('98 Yankees, 2003 Yankees)
Top managers in career wins who are not represented.
1. Gene Mauch
2. Tommy Lasorda
3. Clark Griffith
4. Jimmie Dykes
5. Wilbert Robinson
'67 Bos @ '74 Oak
'84 Det @ '80 KC
'74 Athletics 4, '67 Red Sox 3, 12 Innings
'80 Royals 5, '84 Tigers 1
'69 NYM @ '80 Phi
'85 StL @ '70 Balt
'69 Mets 4, '80 Phillies 1
'85 Cardinals 5, '70 Orioles 1
'74 LAD @ '77 NYY
'79 Pit @ '86 NYM
'77 Yankees 6, '74 Dodgers 2
'86 Mets 5, '79 Pirates 4, 14 innings
'68 Det @ '67 StL
'82 Mil @ '75 Cin
'68 Tigers 2, '67 Cardinals 1
'75 Reds 8, '82 Brewers 4
'94 Mon @ '98 NYY
'02 Oak @ '04 StL
'98 Yankees 9, '94 Expos 8
'04 Cardinals 3, '02 Athletics 2
'04 Bos @ '92 Atl
'01 Sea @ '88 Oak
'04 Red Sox 11, '92 Braves 3
'88 Athletics 2, '01 Mariners 1, 10 Innings
'05 CWS @ '03 NYY
'02 SF @ '95 Cle
'05 White Sox 2, '03 Yankees 0
'95 Indians 5, '02 Giants 2
'01 Ari @ '92 Tor
'03 Fla @ '99 Atl
'01 Diamondbacks 11, '92 Blue Jays 5
'03 Marlins 1, '98 Braves 0
Wednesday's new South Park was off the charts. If you didn't see it, it was the 2nd part of a 2 part episode, featuring Cartman trying to stop an episode of "Family Guy" from running. In the episode, Family Guy is going to show Mohammed, sparking a worldwide controversy. Cartman pretends to be concerned about the showing of an image of Mohammed, but really just wants Family Guy off the air because he just doesn't like the humor in the show.
Kyle, on the other hand, wants to get the network to air the show, and succeeds at the last minute. So we see the scene play out in Family Guy, but Mohammed is censored...by Comedy Central. They wouldn't let an image of Mohammed appear on South Park. Then they show an Al Qaida cartoon featuring Jesus and Pres. Bush crapping on each other, no censoring. Absolutely brilliant.
A Comedy Central executive was quoted as saying: (paraphrase) "In light of recent events, we feel we made the right decision (to censor the image of Mohammed)". He offered no further comment. Phil Hendrie had a great comment on this executive: "He had no further comment because he doesn't have the intelligence to back up his comments".
Speaking of Al Qaida, people seem to be split on whether they want Zaccarius Moussaui to get the death penalty. Those that don't argue that death is what he wants so that he may be rewarded by Allah, etc. So therefore let him rot in a cell for the rest of his life. Deny him what he wants. I kind of agree with this. Life in cell would be worse than death for this guy. Unless there really is a Hell where people like him go...in that case, send him there, do not pass Go.
So I was listening to some sports-talk radio yesterday when I heard a commercial featuring a sound clip from Toby Keith's new album and the following voice-over: “White Trash With Money is now at Wal-Mart.” Sounds like somebody got their tax refund check. It’s funny to hear all this Wal-Mart hate, because if this corporation was really despised that much, they wouldn’t make so much money. Unlike an EVIL~ corporation like, say Exxon, there are a lot more businesses in the retail industry than the fuel industry. Also, how much of a schmoe do you have to be to despise Wal-Mart and the way they do business but shop there in order to save 4 cents off a bottle of shampoo?
I’m not a Wal-Mart hater, but I’m trying to think back to the last time I did any shopping at one of these stores. After much thought and reflection, I’m pretty sure the last time I bought something from Wal-Mart was this pseudo-vacuum in November of 2005 for the basement. Why the reason for my “defiance” of this company that will soon take over the world? Location might have something to do with it, but an even bigger reason is that I don’t want to be around all the white and ghetto trash that populate these stores. Have you seen the people that shop there? Of course you have; it’s Wal-Mart, after all. I think the highlight for me was one time when this kid, who was a few fries short of a happy meal, was throwing a fit over something stupid (all kids do) and his redneck parents proceeded to scream at him louder than he was yelling at them. I love it when the kids win in these parents vs. children fights; always pull for the up-and-comer hick rather than the established white trash.
How could I forget this encounter? Years back I was in a Wal-Mart electronics department when this angry customer caught my attention. Because I love hearing what other people get pissed off about I lingered in the DVD section to hear his complaint. Was he upset because the store wouldn’t return a defective DVD even though he had a receipt? No. Did an employee tell him to “fuck off” when he asked the customer service representative to open the locked video game case? Don’t think so. Here is what the problem was: This guy recently bought a regular television set – wasn’t flat screen, High-Def, Plasma or anything like that; just a regular TV. Well, apparently he wanted to return the television because he wasn’t satisfied with it; he gave no specific reason. However, instead of getting another television of equal or lesser value, he wanted one that was about $200 more expensive. No, he didn’t want to exchange his old television for the new one and pay the difference, he wanted the more expensive set for FREE. Of course, the poor teen-age clerk didn’t know what to say. Many people hear stories of stupid customers and think they can prepare themselves for the encounter, but when they actually experience this stupidity, many times they are like a deer in headlights. Well, after 2-3 managers were called in, nothing was resolved. The guy was getting more and more pissed and the employees had no idea what to do about the situation. That’s when the customer said something that got him into my Stupid Customer Hall of Fame on the first ballot: “Wal-Mart guarantees customer satisfaction!” I burst out laughing and had to walk away because I couldn’t take any more. I’m not sure how this incident got resolved, but if the guy did get new television, hopefully he was standing in a bucket of water while trying to figure out the best outlet to plug in his new prize.
I guess I shouldn't be too hard on the people that frequent Wal-Mart. After all, going there and seeing the dregs of society can really boost your spirits if you're feeling a bit down on yourself. Seeing how I haven’t had to get my fix in some time, I guess I’m doing pretty well with myself.
Swift Terror brought up the Cincinnati riots in his blog entry today, and man were those some fun times (this event took place in 2001, for those keeping score at home). After a black teen got shot by the PO-lice during a midnight chase, some of the more sophisticated folk in Cincinnati decided to frolic and engage in springtime activities like breaking into stores and assaulting innocents. I guess this was in retribution for the PO-lice killing 15 black guys over the period of several years. Of course, all but two or three of these PO-lice shootings involved these poor young men walking down the street. Did I say "walking down the street"? I meant "shooting at the PO-lice" or "assaulting them with a vehicle or some other life-threatening attack." Although the riots took place years ago, there are a few things that have stayed with me. The first is the image of some young thugs assaulting this old guy in his car. Of course, when the youths were caught they were charged with “ethnic intimidation.” Uh, if this is not a HATE CRIME then what is? Oh, wait, the old guy was with his wife, so he wasn’t gay, and he certainly wasn’t black, although he was black-and-blue after the scuffle.
Oh, here’s another oldie but goldie that’s been tucked in the back of my memory for some time. On WKRC’s crappy morning show they brought on some idiot professor from the University of Cincinnati to talk about the riots. The professor started out saying something like, “The problem here is that the PO-lice are out killing YOUNG BLACK MALES.” The conservative host of this morning duo then called the prof on his line of bullshit, basically repeating what I said in the paragraph above about how in nearly all the cases the PO-lice were being shot at or attacked. Without missing a beat, the prof replied, “That’s true, and we must be careful not to use inflammatory rhetoric.” It was at that point I started screaming at the radio while driving to work on I-71.
Did I mention that the New York Slimes called the riots “civil disobedience"? I better add that in here before I forget.
In addition, shortly after this incident some hippie activist group started up an exhibit at the Cincinnati Museum. I don’t remember much about the exhibit, but I’ll never forget the ribbons they were peddling. You see, this exhibit dealt with DIVERSITY, or some shit like that, and if you bought a ribbon then you cared about DIVERSITY. So far so good, I guess -- if you’re into that sort of thing. Oh, but here’s the good part. When you bought your ribbon for DIVERSITY, you got a certain color of ribbon based on YOUR SKIN COLOR. Nothing says "unity" like segregated unity ribbons.
One final note to this story: I remember hearing various idiots saying that the PO-lice and government in general are out to kill YOUNG BLACK MALES. Well, if that’s the case, they’re doing a pretty shitty job of it. I mean crack and AIDS were introduced in the inner-cities to wipe out the black population 20+ years ago, and these people are STILL around; glad to see my tax dollars are being put to great use. I’ve always contended that if you want anything done right you need to go to the private sector. Hell, I might even consider hiring illegals to get this job done – after they mow my lawn, of course.
Well, today's my birthday. I'm 23 years old. If you didn't wish me a happy birthday here,, then feel free to wish me a happy birthday on my blog.
Anyways, here's a birthday present from me to you.
Things you can learned from TSM poster's
-Not all Insane Clown Posse fans are idiots (Carnival)
-There are actually females on the internet (Leena)
-Some people have a very creepy obsession with Hillary Duff, and have somehow convinced themselves that she's a great actress and singer (bob barron)
-Liberals suck (INXS)
-Conservatives suck (MikeSC)
-Some people should not be allowed on the internet (Desperate Housewife, fanofcoils)
-Some people frown upon everything (Czech Republic)
-Hippies suck (kkktookmybabyaway)
-Dancing Corgi Approves (Yours Truly)
-Some theatres pick up awesome movies (niskie)
-Gimmick posters: some rule (Eddie Winslow, Gay Lincoln) but most suck
-You can get crust under your naval (Carnival)
-Some people let you know way too much about your personal life (wildpegasus, Matt Young. That reminds me, will Matt ever come back?)
Now, some youtube links for you guys
South Park-The Now Banned "Trapped In The Closet" Episode
Arrested Developement-Tobias Highlights
Coil-Video for the song "Windowpane"
DJ Shadow's "Changeling" Performed bu a High School Band
Aphex Twin-"Windowlicker" Video
Afrika Bambaataa-Planet Rock
Guy caught Spanking it to "World of Warcraft"
"Hulk Hogan, We're Commin' For You Nigga!"
Kanenites! (Remember when Kane had an interesting character? Here's a blast from the past)
That's all. Happy Birthday to me!
26.
I can't explain why I've been so happy this week. Like seriously, I've been smiling all day today and yesterday. It's weird. Even while my elbow is killing me. Well, I just hope it lasts!
Not much else to talk about. Excited for the ensuing long weekend. I plan to play lots of tennis tomorrow, on the day of Jesus' death. And other stuff this weekend.
#8 in the worst sports moments list for moi is a sad one...
I'm not a big fan of any type of racing. Especially all the circle jerk racing that's on nowadays. It makes me sleep. And it's gotten even worse now that there's lots of money involved. It was better back in the day when it was on ESPN, and there was a bunch of hillbillies driving around. Now, all the personalities are blah. Pretty boy douches like Jeff Gordon, Dale Jr., whatevz. And while fatass Tony Stewart tries to be a hot-headed hardass who crashes everyone, he'll never top the master. I really miss this guy, because he's the only driver I gave a crap about...
8) Dale Earnhardt dies at Daytona.
The Intimidator. He was just so badass in his black #3 car, the shades, the hick mustache and voice. His non-giving a shit attitude about fucking other drivers over. Every driver was terrified if Dale came up behind you, because he'd do whatever to get past you.
It was such a weird feeling when he died. The crash looked rather tame compared to many huge looking crashes where cars flip around and you're amazed when the guy walks out without a scratch. I didn't really feel sad... because it's racing. You always put your life on the line. But, it was weird how he died basically blocking other cars from passing him. I guess it was ironic in a way.
I guess it's just a crap feeling when your undoubted favorite in a sport is taken away like that.
A local black activist, Kabaka Oba, was shot outside Cincinnati city hall in broad daylight. This guy has been doing the "down with the man", "down with the PO-lice" thing for years. He has raised two sons--both are in prison. He calls himself a General. A General of what I do not know.
In the spring of.... 2001 I think....Cincinnati had riots for several days. The media portrayed the Cincinnati police as murderers, saying they killed 15 black men, and now things had reached a boiling point. That was a lie, in all but one instance the police were being fired upon by the suspect. Anyway, CBS called a local radio station yesterday asking "uh, hey, uh, you guys got any riots going on down there"?
Well CBS, the dude who shot him is black so they really can't blame whitey on this one. Then again, I'm sure they'll find a way. The cops had a covert plan to get these two mad at each then sat back and waited for one of them to shoot the other.
Welcome to the first installment of what is currently a 20 part series (and is oddly enough my 20th blog entry), "Wrestling Events I've Attended".
This chapter looks back at the first - and in retrospect, possibly crappiest - wrestling event I attended. It was a cold November Wednesday (November 28th, to be exact) way back in 1991. The event? The 5th annual Survivor Series, a "Thanksgiving eve tradition". The location? Joe Louis Arena - The Fightin' Joe - in Detroit, Michigan.
As a 10 year old who had only been watching wrestling for a few months, the idea of going to a mega event where I would see the wrestlers I loved and hated battling each other in big matches instead of the Nobodies (the term we used for jobbers, since we did not know such a term already existed for them) on Saturday afternoon was quite exciting. Could Hulk Hogan beat Undertaker with just one leg drop? Would Berzerker losing in an elimination tag match effect his undefeated record (I do not know why I thought he was undefeated)? How badly was Roddy Piper going to beat Ric Flair?
Well, of course, Flair won and was the sole survivor, I didn't care what happened to Berzerker, and Hogan lost his title thanks to the dastardly Flair. While my younger cousin and friend said they found some of the results, sepcifically everyone being disqualified in the opener, to be total b.s., we did have a good time and enjoyed the show. The only real downer was that we thought Macho Man would take Sid's place in the main event, but they just made it a six man tag and saved Roberts vs. Savage for the Tuesday in Texas PPV.
That was almost 15 years ago and time sure has been unkind to this show. As a kid, I loved the opening match. As an older, arguably wiser fan, I still love the opening match. It's really the only match worth watching on the show. Slaughter/Duggan/and whoever vs 4 jobber heels was nothing, Hogan/Taker, while exciting live, is terrible. Rockers/Bushwackers vs Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers is ok and the main event of Bossman/LOD vs IRS/Disasters is weak. During the actual show, we were not in our seats for the Rockers match. We returned just as Marty Jannetty made a mistake that caused Michaels to be pinned. Even then, at 10 years old and not being a fan for all that long, I knew The Rockers were breaking up. I don't remember HOW I knew that, maybe the Fed was just heavily telegraphing it on commentary lately (plus the WWF Magazine cover story after the Survivor Series).
My specific memory of the show is being amazed at being at an event live and in person and thinking that Ric Flair's belt was really shiney (somehow from my seat in the upperdeck, I didn't notice it was just a tag title) and a lot of people in my section laughing at some move Big Bossman did - but I don't remember what, just that it involved the turnbuckles.
So, did the event suck? You bet.
Did I love every minute of it when I was there live? You better believe it.
Despite the fact I don't recall a whole lot about my expeirnece there, it is still, for the most part, an experience I will never forget.
I don't mean boobs, ALTHOUGH, never let it be said that I'm one to disparage boobs.
First game I attended this season is said and done and America's Team was VICTORIOUS! The small-ballers outhit the vile Oakland Athletics to take the game 6-5. Of vastly greater importance is that it was dollar-a-dog night. I had three such hot dogs, slathered all to hell in mustard, and I was a happy little (big) man. I also got a souvenir cup, inching closer to my goal of having the entirety of my beverage containers be Twins cups. I think I netted 5 last year, off of seven games. Hoping to improve on both counts. Going a week from tonight to see the Los Angeles Angles of Anaheim, which, for those keeping score at home, is Spanish for "the the Angels Angels of Anaheim." Nice, huh? But it should be good. If the rotation holds, we're due for Kyle Lohse, which should make things "interesting." "Interesting" is NOT how I like my Twins games, but c'est la vie.
The most impressive thing about tonight was watching Joe Nathan pitch. Now, I've seen it more than a few times before, and he usually gets it done. But it's still an experience. He's just unflappable; the Metrodome is fucking LOUD, with everyone on their feet and cheering, and he just ICES fools like his name was Frosty. He didn't hit the 98 miles per hour he did last night, but it was good enough for save #2 and a happy drive home.
Not much else to report, save that apparently Best Buy employees save 20% with Cingular, and there's a health club through work I might join for $20/month. I hear it's a pretty big facility, so we'll see. I'm pretty athletic for a fat guy, but I could definitely stand to shed some weight, as well as define the upper body a little. So.
May the way of the Hero lead to the Triforce.
-Hoff
25.
Nine... nine... god, I hate how ESPN does that. But, the one chick in there is sooooo cute.
As I grew up in Buffalo, you can expect that there will likely be many NFL induction in here... as the Bills franchise has been nothing but pain and misery. And we'll start that here with #9.
Everyone has a player they really hate. Everyone has a player they know is just absolutely horrible from the first second they watch them. And then they even exceed your expections. Everyone has that player on their team that makes a gazillion dollars, and basically ruins their franchise. There's people you just look at their picture, and you know they're dumb as dirt, and useless in all facets of life. It's not often that there's one player who manages to combine all these traits into one big steaming pile of suck. But, there's no doubting this dufus easily fits all the aforementioned descriptions...
9) Rob Johnson. His entire career. Which was like 20 minutes of playtime in Buffalo.
Ugh. Just thinking about him makes me cringe.
From the start here in Buffalo, things just never seemed to add up... but, this was still the time when we all had faith in the Bills management, so we trusted John "Bubblechin" Butler (RIP) making this trade.
The Bills traded their 1st round pick (9th overall, or close to that) and 4th round pick for Robert. Note that Robert himself was only a 4th round pick, and his only notable NFL experience was a strong EXHIBITION game for Jacksonville. Now, the Bills were desperate for QB... it was a few years since Kelly, and horror of the Todd Collins experiment still lingered in our brains... but, this just didn't add up. Plus, we're giving this asshole a 5-year, $25 million deal, and it would cripple Buffalo capwise in the future.
But, whatever, HE COULDN'T BE WORSE THAN TODD "DEER IN HEADLIGHTS" COLLINS!!!
Oh, I didn't mention that 1st round pick for Jacksonville ended up being Fred Taylor. While the Bills had Antowain Smith, and some other jackasses at RB. But, again, whatever.
As for Robert's career... well, there wasn't much of it. He was 7-14 as a starter, while lifetime little backup scrub Doug Flutie was 21-9 with basically the same team. He got totally overshadowed by Doug Fucking Flutie. When you're infinitely more annoying than Flutie Flakes, you really need to lock yourself in some basement, far away from humanity. And in those 7 wins, I'll bet he had a "concussion" in about 5 of those. The fragile surfer boi managed to get hurt every fucking game. And he was the master of simply standing in the pocket while getting sacked 10+ a game, while blaming his offensive line for every loss. Rob was slick in his press conferences, also... managing lots of uh's, and even the occasional duh.
But, Robert teaches us all an important lesson in life...
If you can somehow bullshit stupid people into giving you many millions of dollars, it doesn't really matter after that. Screw everyone over. The world is yours.
Someday, I will do what Rob did.
24.
In an attempt to add lots of filler to my blog since my life in general is quite boring, except for tennis, and work, and the occasional double penetrations... I will be starting crappy lists.
And I'll be starting with my 10 worst moments in sports history. More happier lists will follow. I promise. I just hope a couple people read this. Well, who am I kidding. I'm hated and this sucks. Nobody will. But, whatever...
#10!
Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten... Ten...
Much to people's surprise, I've been a big golf fan all my life. The drama of watching the final round of a major championship is tough to match in any other sport. It amazes me the nerves those professionals must have not to completely suck in these situations.
But, one of the problems with golf (at least since I've been watching, which is after the Nicklaus/Other Guy winning slams with him days), is that it's a bunch of guys you really have no reason to care or root for. Which will happen since there's been so much depth in the golf game. Even when Tiger made his big entrance to the world winning the '97 Masters, it didn't change. Eldrick is just some bum with zero personality who played a shitload of golf and was really talented.
However, there was one man who transcended all of this. One man, who since I started following golf since 1990, has always been there...
... for me to hate.
(10) Phil Mickelson wins the 2004 Masters.
Don't you want to slap that phony smile off his face?
Phil Mickelson (who will be referred to as Hefty, due to him being a lefty, and his fat disgusting man titties, so he's Hefty. Har har.), I can't deny, is probably the most exciting golfer to watch play. Not only is he an extremely talented player, probably only matched by Eldrick, but his reckless aggressive choice of shots will never bore a golf fan.
Which led to the first reason I couldn't stand Hefty. He used to be so goddamned stupid in tournaments. Especially slams. How many times in the 90's did he give himself absolutely no chance in slams by bombing drivers every hole... and taking these ridiculous risk flop shots, and other silly shots around the greens. While it worked for 100 crappy West Coast pitch and putt tournaments he won... his blowups were so predictable in the majors.
And what I enjoyed most about him, taking forever looking at 3 foot putts. Setting up. Taking his big backswing, and plowing a lipout, as he made his "Oh no!" face! Fucking classic. I literally mark out every time that happens. Which is less and less, nowadays.
As I grew up, I started to learn more about Hefty. He's a big phony piece of shit. Just listen to the guy in interviews, he's such a smarmy asshole. His smiles are so obviously fake that you want to slap him. Many of the other players hate him. But, on television, it seems like everyone LOVES him. WHY? WHY? WHY? He's a rich fat kid from San Diego. He's not like you peons.
Then came that dark day in April 2004...
Ernie Els had a great final round in the 2004 Masters, taking like a 4 shot lead over Hefty into the back nine. Hefty had a long way to come back in order to win, and according to past history, there's no fucking way he'll do it... and I'll gleefully cackle as the phony asshole blows it again.
I should also note that Phil was in uber-douche mode for this tournament, also. Likely due to rumors that all others players hated his fucking guts, he had this retarded smile on his face constantly. After every shot, good or bad. Just walking down the fairway. Always had this fake ass smile. It was even worse than the fake smile he usually has... he seriously looked like a gigantic kid who was palsy.
So, anyway, Phil manages to get a few lucky birdies on the back nine, and ties Els going to 18.
I'm sure we all recollect the 18th hole...
He has like a 20-footish putt. All of us are thinking he's gonna miss. I'm entirely sure he blows this 4 feet by the hole, misses the 2nd putt, and I laugh for the rest of that glorious Sunday...
Hit the putt too hard...
And it lips in.
Fuck you, Hefty. Die.
All those majors where Hefty sucked, or just got outplayed. How gleeful I was when David Toms played incredibly to knock him off in Atlanta. And when Payne (RIP) put on a putting exhibition to win at Pinehurst...
It all went away... things were never going to be the same. That asshole finally won his first slam. And we knew, many would follow. Which continued with an easy win at this year's Masters.
Phil Mickelson, you blow, you phony douche. And I hate watching golf now. Because of your success. Please choke on a cheeseburger.
SfaJack unknowingly opened up a can of worms with his comment in yesterday’s entry when he asked if I ever visited or plan to visit PNC Park. My answers? No, and fuck no. I bitched a bit about the way PNC Park was built a while back in my entry concerning local newspapers, but too bad; I’m now going to bitch some more.
The time was the early- to mid-1990s, and the Steelers and Pirates were playing at Three Rivers Stadium, a structure that when originally built in the 1970s was supposed to be the future of how stadiums were to be constructed, what with that futuristic-looking field turf and the ability for baseball AND football games to be played at the same site. Now I never had any problems with Three Rivers Stadium, but then again I didn’t have to play on that crappy Astroturf. In fact, I have quite a few memories from that place which I’ll probably share in an upcoming entry, and none of them dealt with how pretty the stadium looked.
The early- to mid-1990s was around the time when major-league franchises began extorting, err, telling their home cities that if they didn’t build them a new, state-of-the-art stadium or arena that the team would pack up and move to another city; Shittsburgh was experiencing this craze with both the Pirates and Steelers demanding new fields. These threats brought about a hippie referendum that went on the ballot in seven counties in and around the Shittsburgh area in 1997. The referendum was whether or not you approved of a one-half-of-one-percent tax to fund regional projects, which included of course new stadiums for the Pirates and Steelers (never mind the fact that a few years prior the region had implemented a tax for, [shock!] regional development, which included the area of sports facilities).
I’ve mentioned in the past that the liberal Shittsburgh Post-Gazette was all up on the nuts of the proposed tax increase, and for months this publication told us yokels how great this new tax would be, adding that if this measure wasn’t approved, the Pirates would move to a city like Raleigh, N.C., with the Steelers soon to follow. My favorite piece of media hysteria came a week or so before this vote when the Gazette ran an editorial that was supposed to be “the day after the Pirates moved to North Carolina,” where we got to learn of what a huge mistake all “no” voters were making. It was great fun to watch the voter backlash when this referendum crashed and burned in every county it was voted on. In the months leading up to this vote, we were constantly told how there was no “Plan B;” that this vote was “all or nothing” and would “deicide the future of (S)hittsburgh for years to come.” Oddly enough, after this vote, the local government found other ways of funding these stadiums. What was this measure called? Why, it was called “Plan B!”
Besides the pro-tax media acting like Chicken Little, the Pirates were also whining about the condition of Three Rivers Stadium, saying that with a sub par stadium they couldn’t financially compete with Major League Baseball’s bigger-market teams. The Pirates said that with a lack of luxury boxes, among other cash streams not available to them thanks to a crappy stadium, they couldn’t keep players like Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla, who at the time had both recently left for greener pastures. Why, if a new stadium was built, then the Pirates could be competitive again!
So against the will of the voters, the Pirates and Steelers got their new stadiums. And to this day I have refused to set foot in PNC Park or Heinz Field. Now considering people will their waiting list number for season tickets to their next of kin, I think my self-imposed boycott of Heinz Field games won’t be much of a problem. The Pirates are another matter. It’s been almost 10 years since the Pirates moved into PNC Park, and where are they now? For this team a good season is not losing 95 games. For this team a high payroll is more than $50 million. In fact, the Pirates are making a big deal because they increased their payroll this year, which makes them the fourth-lowest payroll in the big leagues. Sorry, but I refuse to pay major-league prices for a minor-league product. It’s like buying a leather recliner, a big-screen television with surround sound and watching a movie on a 30 year-old VHS tape. I must admit though that one time I almost caved into going to this den of evil, but that’s because my one friend from out of town was coming for a visit and expressed interested in attending a Pirate game. Fortunately, they were on the road for that week. The things I do for my friends.
Ironically, there is now talk of building a new arena for the Penguins, and the mood is quite different from back in the mid-‘90s. It’s funny because out of the three new structures: Heinz Field, PNC Park and a new arena, the arena would probably get the most use year-round. Yet politicians are dragging their feet regarding this issue. There’s currently some debate going on about having soon-to-be casino slots revenue go to pay for some costs of building a new arena, but that’s a whole other topic for a whole other blog entry. And despite the Penguins seriously contemplating moving to another city, there is a blip of the same media panic-mongering, if any at all.
Thanks, Sfa, for getting me inspired enough to bitch about the most expensive minor-league baseball stadium in America.
