Well it's been a fun run and being a gimmick poster was pretty fun for a bit, but I've determined I no longer need to hide behind a mask while posting from work. And just who am I when the gimmick dies? I don't know, just guess.
I'm glad that my fancy plans (with pants to match) entertained people like Spaceman Spiff.
Well, before I finish the list of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, there's some cool news for you horror fans: Dario Argento Ready to Shot Long Awaited Third Part of his Three Mother Triology This is so fucking cool.
And now, the conclusion to our list
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer-I always hated this band. While I was never big on Progressive Rock (though does Krautrock count, because I love Krautrock), this band always annoyed me. The annoying keyboard solos, the laughable attempts at mixing classical music with rock, the self indulgence, the fact that they actually recorded an albums with a straight face...the list goes on.
Interestingly enough, Keith Emmerson did the score to Dario Argento's "Infrerno", and I actually like that score.
Vanilla Fudge-The Beat Goes On-Your winner in most pretentious album of all time, and one of the worst albums of all time, is this dandy. First of all, some background: VF weren't a bad band. Hell, I always thought that they were underappreciated as far as late 60's/early 70's hard rock bands go. Anyways, in 1969, the band recorded this album It says in it's notes (and I'm not making this up) that the album was inspired by The Beatles, Brahm, Mozart, and...Sonny Bono. Yes, you read that right. The band thought that Sonny fucking Bono was comparable to Mozart.
The concept of the album? The end of the 60's, and various moments in American History. All set to Sonny Bono's "And The Beat Goes On". Oh, and there are covers of songs, including a Beatles song, and several classical tunes. And sample of JFK being announced shot and killed, The announcement that we bombed Japan, and other such things. Oh, and clips of interviews with the band, one member saying "the music industry is so disheartening", as well as horrible free form poetry.
And there you have it folks. ELP are the most pretentious band of all time, and "The Beat Goes On" by Vanilla Fudge is the most pretentious album of all time.
Next time: Back to Regular old Entries.
• Shame on you RIGHT-WING RADIO, shame on you. Yesterday I bitched about how a local television news station is pimping a FREE GAS GIVEAWAY, but now you guys at 104.7 WPGB have this hippie feature on your Web site where someone types in their zip code and a list of stations come up. Now the evil Clear Channel is taking part in the “OMG GAS PRICES ARE HIGH WHAT WILL WE DO?” hysteria. Just for the heck of it I logged on and tried out this service, and guess what: Just about all of them are the same! I’m as frugal as the next person; actually, I’m probably more frugal than the next person and the person after that, but I’m not driving halfway across town just to find a Quickie-Mart with gas that is 10 cents cheaper than the other places around it.
Actually, this brings back a fond childhood memory of my old man driving me around to several grocery stores because each had specific sale items. We’d first drive 20 minutes to Giant Eagle and get some bananas and pork. Then it was a 15-minute scoot to Foodland, where apples were 40 cents off. To continue the fun we’d go 25 minutes out of the way and pick up some chuck roast at 70 cents off per pound. Now being a kid driving all over the place for this crap, you can imagine how fun this was for me. Finally, one day I asked him why are we going all over the place just to get a few items. I was told because due to the Reagan economy (OK, I made that part up) a person has to save money whenever he can. My response to that: “But aren’t you wasting money on gas?” To this day I never got an answer to that from my old man.
• I heard on the radio today that Major League Baseball is allowing pink-colored bats to be used for Mother’s Day games. I’m sure there’s a joke somewhere in here dealing with the San Francisco Giants, but I’ll pass on it (this time).
• Speaking of baseball, a while back I was goofing on the Pirates and their retarded slogan “We will…” Well, to the surprise of many, the Pirates haven’t been doing so good this season, but what’s funny is that they’re still using this slogan. However, instead of earlier ads that stated “We will … preserve,” “We will … play hard,” We will … not give up,” now the commercials are saying “We will … support our Bucs.” Riiiight. I’m going to support the “bucs” in my wallet and not pay major-league prices to watch a minor-league team play. And just for the record, I only go to one grocery story, too.
• Oh, I didn’t get to talk about the LA Lakers and Kobe’s second-half collapse in Game 7 of the Western Conference quarterfinals. Now I was a Bryant fan for a while, and I defended him on his rape allegations after I concluded that the chick he banged in that hotel room was out for the money. However, my opinion of him has soured since, although I thought he should be considered for this year’s MVP award. But after watching his actions in Game 7, I don’t blame the league for giving it to Steve Nash. And for all the comparisons of Kobe to Michael Jordan? No way would Jordan act the way Bryant did in that game. I can’t stand it when basketball players get compared to M.J., and now to do it with Bryant is downright laughable.
• As I finish up today's entry, I'm listening on the radio to an interview of a "retired" polygamist. Having one wife is bad enough, I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with several of them. I know I would have "retired" the first time they all nagged me to mow the lawn.
Three Game series, pitting the 1939 New York Yankees against the 1995 Cleveland Indians.
'95 Indians (Charles Nagy) @ '39 Yankees (Monte Pearson)
'39 Yankees (Atley Donald) @ '95 Indians (Ken Hill)
'95 Indians (Dennis Martinez) @ '39 Yankees (Red Ruffing) (if necessary)
Game 1
'95 Indians 12, '39 Yankees 4
The Indians steamrolled Yankee pitching in the first game of the series. Albert Belle hit two home runs and Omar Vizquel and Sandy Alomar added home runs of their own. Belle has now hit seven home runs in the tournament. Charles Nagy pitched seven innings to improve his record to 3-0, while Monte Pearson drops to 0-1.
'95 Indians 10, '39 Yankees 4
The Indians again crushed the Yankees to wrap up a tournament victory. Ken Hill (2-0) pitched two innings for the victory while Atley Donald (2-1) lasted just two innings in the loss. Albert Belle hit his eighth home run.
Tournament MVP: Joe Dimaggio, 1939 Yankees
Dimaggio hit .386 in 44 at bats with a tournament leading 16 RBIs.
Tournament Cy Young: Charles Nagy, '95 Indians
3-0. 1.29 ERA.
• I’m sure many of you have seen teasers from your local news station. You know, stupid stuff like, “Are your children safe? Tune in at 11 p.m. and find out.” Well, the only thing worse than these retarded ads are the promotions some stations use to attract viewers. OK, I get it. Gas is expensive. But, WPXI-TV, do you really have to call your latest attempt to draw viewers THE GREAT GAS GIVEAWAY? I understand that it cost more to fill up your tank nowadays, but it’s not like gasoline is in limited supply and people are killing themselves over a pint of fuel. If we were in Russia and a news station had the fortune of a few extra loaves, I could understand calling that promotion THE GREAT BREAD GIVEAWAY, but we’re not experiencing third-world conditions. And it’s not like you’re getting a free year’s worth of gasoline; you’re only getting a $50 gift card to a local station. Sorry, but I’m not tuning in to some hippie news broadcast for that.
• Speaking of this television station, last night the better half turned on WPXI (a NBC affiliate) and I got to experience what was probably the dumbest game show I have ever seen: “Deal or No Deal.” Christ almighty was this a waste of my time. At least with shows like "Jeopardy!" you have to think. Even with "Press Your Luck" you had to answer pseudo-trivia questions before going up against the Whammy. All you do in this show is pick random cases. That’s it. While I’m sure the argument can be made that some math is needed to figure if you should keep picking cases or accept the banker's offer, I still don’t care (and no, I'm not going to explain the rules of this game; find them out on your own). This is a retarded show that will hopefully go the way of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” Also, if last night's contestant was any more flaming during his 60 minutes worth of jumping up and down every time a case he selected was of low value he would have been on fire. There was even a point where he sat down and cried. It was around this time I began wishing he hadn’t ended up with the $300,000+ he eventually won.
• While reading through my Saturday Tribune-Review (of course I got the coupon-free Saturday edition last week and not the actual day that I subscribed for) I read the following story. There’s a Quizno’s Sub store that’s near where I live and from time-to-time they have some kid wear a dumb costume and stand out by the road dancing around. Apparently this is supposed to entice people driving to stop by and have a sandwich. Well last week this ritual enticed several punks to get out of their car at the nearby stoplight and beat this mascot up. To make matters worse, one of these hooligans took pictures of the attack with a camera phone. Fortunately, a motorist who was a cop's wife (or something like that) witnessed the event, and now the young 20-somethings are in jail. The article concluded by quoting the Quizno’s storeowner, who said that nobody wants to go back out there dressed up in that costume. God I love my community.
44.
#7's.
GOOD
#7: Carnival. REMOVED!
BAD
#7: Hoff
Positives: He's usually an intellligent poster. He plays the jerk role pretty well.
Negatives: He goes through spurts of being a very whiny bitch. He should never try being funny. He relies on being established too much. He hates me.
#6 coming eventually.
43.
Might as well keep rolling along... the tennis matches on now are yawns.
GOOD
#8: Anglesault
He's the one I originally forgot. Damn banning him. Alkeiper cost his spot in here by doing banning our good pal, AS. I fully understand why Al did so... but, AS was fun, damnit!
Positives: Pretty good and smart overall poster when he doesn't obsess over something he really hates. But, when he did, it led to some of the best comedy on the board. Total geek. I have to admire how he hates practically everything, and bitch bitch bitch bitch. And he really hated the wrestlers I like most (Randy Orton and Test). Blandy Boreton was good, damnit. I think people just needed to lighten up with the guy... just scold him every now and then when he takes his bitching too far.
Negatives: His can certainly be grating. He was antisocial, and probably a very miserable person.
BAD
#8: The Thread Killer
Positives: None, really...
Negatives: Just a hypocritical douche on many levels. Plays the "I have a great life and don't care about the internet!" deal OVER AND OVER, yet deeply analyzes people with his many rants. Tries to be funny, and fails miserably. Creates huge pictures in posts and sigs that clog up space, and are never funny. He's like 40 years old, yet acts like a teenager with his OMG DIS PERSON IS MY FRIEND AND YOU SUCKZ~! high school-ish garbage and seriously creeps me out because of it. Even more so in that he's a social worker... hard to imagine that being good to people.
#7 soon. Maybe tonight. Lolzers.
42.
Not much response for the last one. Lame. I wanted fights in here. Oh well. #9.
And my good list is fucked up, because I totally forgot someone. So, I'll make up for it now with #10 and #9 on that side.
GOOD
#10: Damaramu.
I'm sure to draw some jeers for this one.
Positives: Genuinely good guy. Draws the ire of the assholes in the sports forum. Posts high quality comedy, although not always intentional. Certainly makes the board more fun to read. HOSS.
Negatives: Can be a really big, dumb lummox. Stubborn as anything, and beats hits points until the dead horse is buried in the ground.
#9: Black Lushus
Positives: Has a fun attitude. Just a great guy to chill with. Brings the comedic value with many of his stories, especially being enormously pussy-whipped by his Wifey. Brings a perspective in the wrestling forums that I agree with, and many others should be more open to. Huge nerd. Probably looks like a buff Urkel.
Negatives: Fucks Carnival. Gets a bit too defensive at times. annoying...typing style. Says he wants to talk to me, but never does. (I DO RESPOND TO YOUR OFFLINE MESSAGES.)
BAD
#9: CanadianGuitarist (and generally, your average poster in the sports forum).
The sports forum here sucks balls.
Granted, many sports fans are rude assholes. That comes with liking competition. But, here, it's even worse.
CanadianGuitarist, the max, CanadianChris, Kingof609 or whatever, etc... you can go on and on with many posters in the sports folder. Besides the especially bad ones I'll mention later...
A bunch of rude, curt jerks who insult people, think they know everything there is about sports, and horrible people to talk with on any basis. And you can't even have sports conversations with these types. They post everything as "facts", and tear you down by disagreeing with them.
#8's soon.
xoxoxo
Alyanna.
There's a new Sports Illustrated poll of 470 Major League players asking who are the most overrated and most underrated players in baseball. Stuff like this is incredibly subjective as someone may consider one player underrated while the other considers that same player overrated. My assumption is that the player's perspective would be how they feel the media and fans view the player and that will influence their opinion on whether or not they consider someone overrated or underrated. So here's the Top 10 for both lists with my comments on what I think of each player and I throw in a name at the end of who I considered the most overrated and most underrated players of last season.
Most Overrated
1. Derek Jeter - Too obvious but facts are he is overrated by New York media/fans and major media outlets like ESPN. I have said in the past though that I feel Jeter is almost slightly underrated by non-Yankee fans at this point. You can tell Jeter is overrated just by how the New York media and ESPN are all up in arms (well from what people are saying on the board) over him topping the list as some how it is inexcusible that Baseball Jesus is on the list at all.
2. Carlos Beltran - This seems a bit odd to me, I suppose probably because of the contract he signed and he had a bit of an off year last season. Coming into this season though I'd consider him underrated by how much criticism he was getting.
3. Alex Rodriguez - Truly laughable for him to be this high. One of the true elite players in the game yet he typically doesn't get the credit he deserves and any failure he has in the "clutch" his magnified ten fold. Sure no player deserves the contract he got but not his fault the Rangers were stupid enough to give it to him.
4. J.D. Drew - Again no reason for him to be on the list and he is almost certainly underrated. He's a great hitter but is always hurt and many discard anything good he has done due to his injury problems. He showed in 2004 the type of numbers he can put up in a full season.
5. Nomar Garciaparra - How can he be underrated when he's be the subject of ridicule due to his injury problems? What because he was once great and now isn't that makes him overrated? Really makes no sense.
6. A.J. Burnett - Have to agree on this one but he's a "victim" of starting pitchers being overrated in general.
7. Jason Kendall - A common theme seems to be obscene contracts and Kendall certainly isn't worth what he makes. I doubt many still view Kendall as a good player anymore so my guess is the general view of him currently is probably neither overrated or underrated. Trust me though A's fans know he sucks.
8. Kerry Wood - Man players are just cruel as at least according this poll any player with a history of injuries is overrated.
9. Josh Beckett - Interesting. Maybe a tad overrated because of the 2003 postseason which tends to happen to any player who has a strong postseason.
10. Johnny Damon - I'd agree to a certain extent though his last two years he really was good but this also comes from the contract he signed. Probably more overrated circa 2003 than he is now.
My 2005 Most Overrated Player: Scott Podsednik - Remember he tought the White Sox how to bunt so they won the World Series. We don't need those meaningless homeruns!
Most Underrated
1. Michael Young - See now this is a player who I could see being overrated a couple of years from now. Players who everyone says is underrated eventually go the other way.
2. Bobby Abreu - Certainly not nearly as underrated as he was two or three years ago. I'd say he's probably fits into neither category.
3. Garret Anderson - Now this what I was talking in term of Young as personally I view Garret Anderson as overrated now. A few years back I considered him underrated. He gets on base at a poor rate and he has below average power for a corner outfielder.
4. Mark Loretta - Probably true to a certain extent. His great 2004 season went largely unnoticed. He's on the Red Sox now so he'll probably be overrated by the end of the year.
5. David Eckstein - Okay very good 2005 season no doubt by the "scrappy" Eckstein is probably a bit overrated because he's "scrappy."
6. Bill Mueller - I'd say he doesn't fit either category.
7. Chone Figgins - I'd say neither tilting towards slightly overrated.
8. Vernon Wells - You know he really hasn't done a whole lot at the plate the last two seasons, although off to a great start this year. He does get his just due when it comes to his defense.
9. Raul Ibanez - What? He's had a couple of good years by far from a star. I don't know do most view him as a scrub or something? Very odd he's on the list.
10. Melvin Mora - I'd agree with this one although his numbers were down last year, still were pretty good and his name doesn't really come up often when talking about the better 3rd basemen in the league.
My 2005 Most Underrated Player: Brian Giles - I ranked him as the best right fielder in baseball last season but because he plays in a park that is death to hitters his counting numbers just didn't look impressive.
What a fun couple of days the weekend turned out to be.
Friday: Water main break caused my block to go without H20, except for the few times brown liquid came out of the tap. Oh well, at least it gave me an excuse to stay home from work.
Sunday morning: After getting last week's edition of the Shittsburgh Tribune-Review, I went out there Sunday morning only to find my newspaper box empty. Like a good little customer, I phoned in to inform them of my lack of a newspaper. I was then told that one would be sent out to me. A few hours went by and nothing. I get a phone call at around noon asking if I received a paper yet. Once again the answer was "no." I was then told that one would be sent out. I'm still waiting. On the bright side, when I bitch to them today about this maybe they'll get me another discount on a publication that never gets delivered to my house. And this week had the P&G special coupon insert, too.
Sunday night/Monday morning: In the kkk bedroom we have a 27-29-inch television on an unenclosed stand. At about 3 a.m. I was awakened to the sound of scratching. Now, if JJ wants fed he usually messes with the closet door, resulting in a banging sound and also resulting in a few squirts of water from a bottle on my nightstand. However, this sounded different. The noise was coming from the TV stand. I figured it could have been from one of the kids playing with some wires over there, but something didn't sound right. The noise was too loud for that, especially since there's only one wire that they can get to and the noise wouldn't be that loud. Suddenly, I realized that something wasn't right, and it was at that time I heard a crashing noise that woke up the better half. The television fell off the stand onto the floor. Yippie. Our first thought was concern because we didn't want to have anyone squashed by this fallen appliance. However, I figured if that was the case there would have been a scream or yelp. Nevertheless there were a few tense moments when lifting up the TV set from off the floor. When the drowsiness wore off, it was time to do a head count of the three kids. Dessa was lying on the bed, which is normal considering she sleeps with us a lot. I went out into the living room and saw JJ walking around with his eyes half open. Had he been involved in any of this his tail would be puffed out and he'd be hiding someplace. Finally it was time to look for Max. He usually hangs out on the second floor, and when I went into the spare bedroom up there, there he was huddled at the bottom of that room's television stand with a guilty look in his eyes.
In an attempt to re-create the events of this evening, the best I can guess is that Max was trying to get up on the one windowsill. Now he usually just jumps up on the one sill from our bed, but since Dessa was taking up residence and doesn't hold Max in high regard, I think he was trying to find an alternate way up there. I also think the scratching I heard was him clutching onto some little vent thingys that are on the back part of the television when he lost his footing. Because the back part of the TV is sloped, I'm sure his movement back there propelled the set to the floor. Hopefully, the television is a total loss, but if it is, oh well. It could have been a lot worse.
Oh, and for someone who gets up at 5 a.m., this early wake-up call wasn't a good start to the workweek. However, after arriving at work I learned that my one asshole boss will be out for the week, so woo-hoo.
A few weeks ago at the gym I did something that I feel pretty guilty about. The gym I was at was crowded and doesn't have all the proper equipment it should. So instead of using a power rack for my shrugs I was using the bench press to lift off my weights. Since when I do my shrugs I like to have my feet closer together than what the width of the weight bench allows I have to walk backwards with the weight until I can put my feet a little closer together. Than I proceed to do my shrugs. After I do my shrugs I put the bar back on the bench press while I wait until I'm ready for my next set. Since this isn't too commonly done (don't reccomend walking backwards with a barbell) people who just look over at the bench press automatically think you're just doing benches. So if the gym's crowded they can take over the spot where you would normally shrug at.
This happened to me the other week. It happens sometimes. No big deal -- I'll just tell whoever what's up and everyone's happy. This time though a girl decided to use the eAxact spot where I had been shrugging at. Not just any girl but the hottest girl in the gym. Now this was different because as anyone from this board knows I'm the wimpiest person ever the fairer sex. So it came down to this -- My love of weightraining and being able to finish vs actually having to make conversation with a girl and not only that but at the same time perhaps interfering with her workout some. My first instinct was to delay and that's exactly what I did in the hopes of not having to talk and at the same time in the hopes that she would be done quikly.
Well, there was no luck there and time started to get away with me. This was inturrupting my workout and I was really starting to panic similar to what I'd do if I had to do a presentation project in my school. Finally, I grew some testicles and explained to her that I would just need that spot for my brief set and than she could do her sets. Nobody would get inturrupted as we'd do sets one right after each other. A perfect solution that has solved many dilemnas in the gym. But it didn't turn out that way. I think (maybe it was my fault for being so nervous and hence not clear enough) but I think she thought I wanted the spot all to myself. So she left the area there and went working out elsewhere. After that, I felt tremendously guilty and because I was scared if I went back that it'd be showing some kind of interest in her (never mind the added pressure of having to talk again especially when I didn't have the motivation of getting into "her" spot for my exercises) so I didn't rectify the situation. Maybe in saying this here I can get rid of some of the guilt that's been anchoring me down as of late. I hate it when my natural instincts prevent me from being a good person.
Chins Bodyweight 178 + 41pds around waist for 9 full range reps. This wasn't to failure as I'm cycling up to hopefully 12 reps.
Chins
Normal "warmup"
Finished off with BW 193 + 23.3 pds = 216.3pds for 9 reps. Didn't feel as strong as I wanted to. Great range on the reps
-- Mid back feels like it's going out on me. Lower as well.
Of course, by it, I mean the Lakers-Suns series.
First of all, why is ESPN reporting this, "One story circulating among the Suns is that Bryant strongly encouraged teammates not to linger on the floor after the final buzzer for post-series handshakes"? Kobe can't "force" anyone to do anything. Unless you believe that woman from Eagle, CO, in which case you can freely believe she's correct. Not my problem.
Secondly, why the fuck are the Suns still thinking about this? Focus on your next series, don't worry about the Lakers anymore. They're going to get smoked tonight if they're still thinking about #8..er..#24.
I expect them to demolish the Clippers, thanks for asking.
Lakers offseason. Oh man, Mitch Kupchak is going to fuck this up. He always does. Let's spend our Full MLE on Vlade Divac. OOPS, we'll buy him out at the tune of 2 million. Let's try Aaron Mckie. OOPS. Those two didn't even play a full 6 games combined. Oh well, that's Mitchell.
Wants, I'm going to be very realistic and stick within possibilities.
Melvin Ely
Al Harrington (Sign and trade. More feasible than it sounds, very need based from ATL's perspective. They know they aren't keeping him. If the Lakers do this, the 07-08 plan goes right into the shitter. That's what I want, I'm sick of fucking plans. First with my hockey team, now this? Fuck that shit.)
Marcus Banks
Reggie Evans (I'm serious.)
Brevin Knight
Do not wants.
Carlos Boozer
Bobby Jackson. (Would almost be worth it just to keep him from killing LA again.)
Sam Cassell (Iffy on this one.)
Pipedreams
Iverson. I don't know why, I just love this guy's passion for the game.
I'd rather they didn't trade for Garnett unless they get presented with something that doesn't involve Bynum. It won't happen.
Well, it's been a while, but I have an answer why: Homework. Oh, and my printer broke this weekend, and I had to get a new one. Basically, I've been having a shitty weekend, whough hopefully, things will get better.
Anyways, here's part two of my list of the most pretentious bands and albums
A Silver Mt. Zion-This one hurts for me, because I actually like this band. That out of the way, I do have to admit that while i love the genre, Post Rock is one of the most pretentious things in music right now. Let's look at the facts: Here's a band that's full of post rock cliched (the crecendos, ridiculous band name, inhumanly long album and song titles) that's a GYBE! side project (there's a lot of these) and this one made it on the list because well, even though there are many similar bands, this one just came to mind. Oh well.
Genesis P. Orridge-When i was Young-Here's a major miss. For those of you who don't know who Genesis is, he's essentially one of the most important figures in industrial music, mostly because he was a member of the first ever indistrial band Throbbing Gristle. After TG split, he formed Psychic TV. After Psychic TV split, he got a sex change. Oh, and released this album For some reason, he thought that doing really short spoken word poetry (repeated over an over ) over bland trip-hop production was a good idea. Well guess again pal. The album is really self indulgent in it's simplicity (never thought you'd hear that one) and is also really, really boring. Not so suprising, it was only released as a limited edition.
Wreckx-N-Effect-Rap's New Generation-Yep, believe it or not, the guys who recorded "Rump Shacker" made it on the list. Why? Well, let me explain:
There are ton's of covers albums out there. While a few of them are good, most of them really suck. However, the worst, and most self important, of these, is WAE's 1996 album Rap's New Generation. Here, the group cover such hip hop classics as "Planet Rock" and "Da Vpours", while paying "tribute" to old school hip hop. However, from the title of the album itself, you can tell that there's a real self importance to the whole thing, and it pretty much shows the world why they were known for "Rump Shaker", and nothing more. And I like the song "Rump Shaker".
Coil-Here's one that really pains me to type. anyways, as you folks know, I love Coil. They are one of industrial and experimental electronic musics most important, and best bands. So, why did they make it on here? Because of two albums-Time Machines and Constant Shallowness Leads to Evil. The former is basically a series of repeated synth drones made to "fascillitate time travel". Translation: take hallucinogens while listening to this. The latter though, is the worst: a tribute to Krautrock bands like Faust and noise rock bands like Butthole Surfers. The Problem? It has none of the odd humor or offbeat fun of those groups., thus making it an unlistenable, sprawling mess.
That's all for now. Next Time: The list comes to an end.
41.
I finally did my lists.
It was tougher than I thought.
The best was much tougher. I tried to avoid some personal biases. There's so many good posters here... it was tough to choose.
And both lists will exclude gimmick posters. So, no wildpegasus.
But, first some yammering about my boring life:
I own tickets for Game 2 of the Suns/Clippers series. I am so excited to see the Clips in the Elite 8 of the NBA Playoffs. It will be a surreal feeling. Plus, I've never been to an NBA regular season game, let alone a playoff game before... so, fun will be had.
I think I've finally met someone I'm compatible with. While shopping at Gamestop, there was a 6 foot tall female worker. Who obviously was a video game geek. And she played sports. I was seriously in awe. We talked for a good 10 minutes in the store. I hope to meet her some more, and be bestest friends. While I have many fellow female acquaintances... I can't say I'm good friends with many. I'm a very unique person. So, I'm excited.
I play in another tournament next weekend. I will win at least one match. And it's very much needed. I'm on a long cold streak.
I hate my nose, and Jennifer Garner jaw.
Ok, list time.
BAD
#10: NY Untouchable
Positives: Improved somewhat lately... was in the Top 5 for much of the past few years. Decent wrestling poster.
Negatives: In the past, he basically just posted: 1) Lame attempts at starting fights with people, 2) Horrible jokes, 3) Lame e-fed shit.
Oh, and T#10: The Satanic Angel
Negative: Any of her many descriptive posts mentioning her sexual trevails, makes me seriously gag. Not that I'm a beauty queen by any means... but she's disgusting, fat, and most people here probably assume she's a man from her avatar. I hope she's a gimmick poster.
GOOD
#10: EricMM
Positives: Very smart guy. Sweet, kind person, also. Money in the CE threads, going against the mighty MikeSC. Cute and successful in life.
Negatives: Can struggle at bringing the funny. Very liberal .
#9's in the next entry.
xoxoxo
Alyanna.
Just eight teams left in the mock tournament. In this round, the field is split into two double elimination tournaments. One team advances from each field to play in the finals. I will provide actual details on the games from here on.
FIELD ONE
1929 Athletics @ 1906 Cubs
1962 Giants @ 1939 Yankees
'29 Athletics 5, '06 Cubs 4, 12 Innings
Mule Haas's RBI single in the twelve inning drove in Jimmy Dykes for the go ahead run, and Carroll Yerkes pitched a 1-2-3 inning for the save. Howard Ehmke collected the win for the A's and Orval Overall picked up the loss. Joe Tinker, who hit just 31 home runs his entire career, hit a two run shot in the second.
'62 Giants 9, '39 Yankees 8
The Giants survived a thriller at Yankee Stadium. The Giants rallied in the eighth inning, scoring three runs on Charlie Keller's dropped fly ball in right field. The Yankees tied the game in the bottom of the eighth, scoring three runs with Joe Gordon's two run shot tying the game. Willie Mays hit a go ahead home run in the ninth, and the Giants added another run. The Yankees scored a run in the bottom of the inning, and nearly scored the tying run before Red Rolfe was thrown out at home plate. Don Larsen picked up the win for the Giants, Oral Hildebrand got the loss and Bobby Bolin earned the save.
1906 Cubs @ 1939 Yankees
1962 Giants @ 1929 Athletics
'39 Yankees 7, '06 Cubs 1
Joe Gordon's three run double put the Yankees up 4-1, and they coasted to an easy victory. Three Finger Brown started a day early and surrendered five runs in six innings. Bump Hadley picked up the win. Brown got the loss, finishing the tournament with a 2-1 record. Joe Gordon finished the game with four RBIs. The Cubs are eliminated from the tournament.
'62 Giants 8, '29 Athletics 7, 10 Innings
Orlando Cepeda, Willie Mays and Felipe Alou connected for three straight solo home runs in the top of the ninth with two outs to tie the game. The A's had a chance to win the game in the bottom of the ninth but Al Simmons grounded into a bases loaded double play. The Giants' Jose Pagan knocked in the go ahead run in the top of the tenth against a depleated A's bullpen. Stu Miller (2-0) collected the win while Carroll Yerkes (1-1) got the loss. The A's go on to face the '39 Yankees, with the winner advancing to a rematch with the Giants.
'39 Yankees 13, '29 Athletics 3
George Earnshaw surrendered eight runs in two and a third innings of work, and the Yankees cruised to victory. Charlie Keller went 3 for 4 with a home run, 4 RBIs and 2 walks. Pitcher Atley Donald went 3 for 5 at the plate. Donald picked up the win and improved to 2-0. Earnshaw collected the loss, falling to 2-1.
'39 Yankees 4, '62 Giants 3, 11 Innings
Joe Dimaggio tied the game with a two run home run in the top of the ninth off Don Larsen, and scored the go-ahead run in the 11th on Joe Gordon's sacrifice fly. Steve Sundra (1-0) earned the win, while Gaylord Perry (0-1) took the loss.
'39 Yankees 13, '62 Giants 3
Frankie Crosetti hit a home run and two triples, and Lefty Gomez pitched a complete game as the Yankees crushed the Giants. Gomez improves to 2-0, while the Giants' losing pitcher Billy O'Dell falls to 1-1. The 1939 Yankees advance to the tournament finals.
FIELD TWO
1980 Royals @ 1977 Yankees
1995 Indians @ 1988 Athletics
'77 Yankees 11, '80 Royals 5
Bucky F'n Dent hit a two run home run to cap a sixth inning, five run rally, and the Yankees cruised to victory. Reggie Jackson added his fourth home run of the tournament. Mike Torrez picked up the win to improve to 2-0. Rich Gale (1-1) got the loss. Ken Clay pitched three innings of scoreless relief for the save.
'95 Indians 8, '88 Athletics 3, 12 Innings
Eddie Murray hit a two run home run in the top of the twelveth to break a 3-3 tie, and the Indians tacked on three runs, thanks in part to Glenn Hubbard's two out error. Mark McGwire hit two home runs and a double. The Indians' bullpen held the A's to one run the final six innings. Jose Mesa (1-0) picked up the save, while Gene Nelson (1-1) got the loss. The Indians now play the Yankees in the winners' bracket while the A's play the Royals in the losers' bracket.
'95 Indians 8, '77 Yankees 5
Albert Belle hit two home runs and collected five RBIs to lead the Tribe to an 8-5 victory. A Chris Chambliss error with two in the eighth opened the door for the second home run, which broke a 5-5 tie. Paul Assenmacher (2-0) got the win while Sparky Lyle (0-1) got the loss.
'80 Royals 6, '88 Athletics 5
George Brett hit a two run double in the ninth, and Dan Quisenberry pitched a scoreless ninth for the save. The A's are eliminated, and the Royals proceed to a rematch with the Yankees. Winner of that reaches the regional final against Cleveland.
'77 Yankees 3, '80 Royals 2
Roy White's two out, RBI double in the eighth drove in the go ahead run and Sparky Lyle pitched a scoreless ninth for his third save. Ron Guidry gave up just two runs over eight innings to improve his record to 2-1. Dan Quisenberry took the loss, falling to 1-1. The Yankees advance to the final against the Indians. The Indians need to win one while the Yanks have to win twice.
'95 Indians 7, '77 Yankees 1
Eddie Murray's three run home run capped a five run third as the Indians crushed the Yankees. Orel Hershiser (1-1) picked up the win while Ed Figueroa (1-1) got the loss. Chad Ogea earned his second save by pitching three scoreless innings. The 1995 Indians advance to the final, where they will face the 1939 Yankees in a three game series.
New feature! Well I'm gonna burn out on redos eventually so decided to come up with a new idea. I'll take the subject from a Sports Illustrated cover from this date and look at what that person did on that date (if anything), what happened in their sport on that date, and what may have happened in other sports on that date. I definently won't be doing this everyday as it'll probably just be a once in a while thing. I think I'll focus on only covers from my lifetime and typically the main subject will be baseball as retrosheet.org makes researching a breeze. Also to get some perspective on what sports fans were thinking about the time I'll try to dig up threads from the Google message boards. Okay it will be really to find incredibly stupid opinions from sports fans. So the subject of the first one comes from May 7, 1990:
Ken Griffey Jr. at the age of 20 was already becoming a superstar and was the rare commodity of a young player with an insane amount of hype actually living up to it.
Griffey's 1990 numbers coming into May 7th, 1990: 26 games, .385/.425/.596, 5 homeruns, 18 rbi
Mariners record going into May 7th, 1990: 12-14, 5th place in A.L. West, 7 games back
Griffey on May 7th, 1990: Went 0-2 with two walks, two runs scored, and a stolen base. Mariners lose at home to the Red Sox 5-4. Boston scored four runs in the 3rd inning off of Mariners starter Erik Hanson on two, two run doubles by Tom Brunansky and Dwight Evans. Mariners manager Jim Lefebvre is ejected in the 4th inning for arguing balls and strikes.
Other MLB action on May 7th, 1990: Detroit's Cecil Fielder hit his 11th homerun of the season in a 5-4 loss to the Brewers. Oakland's Jose Canseco homers twice in a 5-1 win over the Yankees. Atlanta's Jeff Blauser hits his first two homeruns of the season including a two run homer in the top of the 9th off Cubs' closer Mitch Williams as the Braves win 9-8. Montreal's Andres Galarraga hits a game winning double in the bottom of the 9th as the Expos beat the Giants 7-6 after the Giants had scored three in the top of the 9th to tie the game. N.Y. Mets' Frank Viola improves to 6-0 on the year in a 7-1 win over Houston.
Other Sports action on May 7th, 1990: In the NBA the Chicago Bulls beat the Philadelphia 76ers 96-85 in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. In the NHL the Boston Bruins beat the Washington Capitols 4-1 in Game 3 of the Wales Conference Finals, taking a 3-0 series lead.
Fun with Google on May 7th, 1990: A brief thread on who was more valuble: Ryne Sandberg & Jose Oquendo? No really.
Last Christmas the better half, who never knows what to get me for birthdays/holidays/etc., actually did the unthinkable and bought me a BOOK. Blasphemy. I had to deal with these things for the 16+ years of schooling I received – no way do I want to bother with these things some more. But then again, I can’t really blame her for getting me this monstrosity; after all, I am a bitch to shop for. Anyway, this book is titled “Do As I Say (Not As I Do)” and takes aim at limousine liberals who tell us to drive in hippie hybrids while they get around in private jets that consume more fuel in a single flight from Hollywood to Manhattan than I will use in at least a decade’s worth of commuting to and from my place of employment.
Now before my liberal pals start pointing their veggie sticks at me and go, “Yeah, well you conservatives are hypocrites, too,” don’t bother. I’m more than certain that a 250+ page book can be written about “family values” politicians divorcing wives who are battling cancer in the hospital, so instead of giving off more carbon dioxide for the trees, just shaddup. Actually, you might be pleased to know that I find this book a bit under whelming. Golly gee, Mikey Moore talks about RACISM in America but doesn’t hire people of color to work on his films/books/etc.? Color me surprised. Hitlery Clinton talks about the “decade of greed” while profiting heavily from it? Yawn. Ted Kennedy is big on the environment but is not so big on having windmill thingys placed near his Kennedy compound, which would make mother earth happy but not his yachting excursions? Get out. Most of the things in this book have already been addressed on various RIGHT-WING RADIO programs, among other areas of the conservative media. However, if listening to hours upon hours of the EIB Network isn’t your thing, then maybe it’s good to have all these tidbits in one convenient, space-saving publication.
Today I just finished up the chapter on Ralph Nader, and this one really made me laugh. Despite being against Big Business, Ralph has made a few dollars off the stock market with companies that profited from his activism. While reading this stuff was deserving of a few eye-rolls, what made me LOL was the following:
Then I come across this gem:
So I guess the lesson learned here is if GM/Halliburton/Visa/etc. want to avoid the scorn of Ralph, then all they have to do is say that they, too, are a “cause organization.” Of course, in these cases, the “cause” is to make big profits.
I’m about halfway through this read, and most of the big names (insert Mikey Moore joke here) have already been covered. However, Nancy Pelosi is in the on-deck circle, and I’m sure there will be some double standards regarding her “saying” and “doing” of labor practices. However, a few chapters after that is Barbara Streisand, which I’m sure will be a doozy.
• Ha. Eminent Domain isn’t just for kicking some 90-year-old widow out of the home where she has lived for the past 70 years. Now Big Government is going after Big Business. Funny. This is like when the irresistible force meets the unmovable object.
• Might as well do some updates to my video gaming sports franchises. My hockey team is starting to turn itself around. I am now tied for eighth place in the Eastern Conference, and traded away Ryan Malone for Erik Cole, who is a much better defensive forward than Malone was. The good thing about this trade that now if I go up against a team whose first line has a “crash the net” strategy I put Cole in the first line to help defend against these hosses. If not, I usually put him on the second line and have Tomas Surovy up on the first line. For my football franchise, I was cruising along at 9-0 when I came across a game that I couldn’t play it because it would freeze up whenever loading. I noticed that if I play the Ravens in Week 15 during a season this bug happens. Now it looks like if the Browns are my Week 11 opponent, it will do the same. So, I simmed the week, and even though I won handedly, Alan Faneca is out for 9 weeks and James Farrior is out for the season. Yay.
My baseball franchise is a different matter because I’ve decided to not only play at the Major League Level, but also I’m playing all of the Pirates’ minor-league teams, even the Lynchburg Hillcats. The funny thing is I actually enjoy playing the minor-league games more because the players are prone to errors and such. I’m not sure how I’m going to go about adjusting sliders for more realistic game play; I adjust sliders after every season in Madden, and I’ll probably do the same for NHL ’06. However, I might just wait until the start of every calendar month to tweak the sliders for MVP ’05. Either way, I’m having some great games, albeit on the low-scoring side. But then again, not every game has to be an 11-10 slugfest. I was worried that I had the game set too easy at the Pro level, but after being swept by the Cubs (and getting shut out in the last two games by Wood and Prior) I think I’ll keep things right where they are.
• I don’t watch many first-run television shows on a regular basis. In fact, I stopped watching The Shield a few weeks into its latest season because I missed a few episodes and figured it’ll just be better to wait until it comes out on DVD and get it then. That’s what I did with Lost, and so far I’m almost three discs into the first season. I don’t think it’s as good as I heard some people say it is, but it was a worthwhile purchase nevertheless, especially since I got it during the Christmas season and for a great deal. I’m only several episodes into this season, but I already like Sawyer. For some reason I gravitate to the characters you’re supposed to hate. That was the case with me and the Dr. Romano character on ER. For the brief time I watched this show in the late 1990s-early ‘00s, the only reason I tuned in to watch this with the better half was to laugh at whatever politically incorrect, mean-spirited thing this guy had to say. It’s funny because other than Romano and that grumpy ex-cop-turned-receptionist, I didn’t give two shits about anyone on that show. In fact, I found just about everyone else on that show so dislikeable that I enjoyed seeing them wallow around in their own misery and self-pity. Like I said before, I haven’t seen all the episodes from season one of Lost, but is there a point to the hippie polar bears? A simple “yes” or “no” response will suffice.
In my 1989 A.L. MVP redo, I made reference the Orioles surprise run at the A.L. East title that year after their miserable 1988 season and that gave me my next subject for a Where'd They Go? entry.
Pretty much can sum up the Orioles '88 season by looking back at their first 21 games of the season.
April 4: Brewers 12, Orioles 0
April 6: Brewers 3, Orioles 1
April 8: Indians 3, Orioles 0
April 9: Indians 12, Orioles 1
April 10: Indians 6, Orioles 3
April 11: Indians 7, Orioles 2
April 12: Royals 6, Orioles 1
April 13: Royals 9, Orioles 3
April 14: Royals 4, Orioles 3
April 15: Indians 3, Orioles 2
April 16: Indians 1, Orioles 0
April 17: Indians 4, Orioles 1
April 19: Brewers 9, Orioles 5
April 20: Brewers 8, Orioles 6
April 21: Brewers 7, Orioles 1
April 22: Royals 13, Orioles 1
April 23: Royals 4, Orioles 3
April 24: Royals 3, Orioles 1
April 26: Twins 4, Orioles 2
April 27: Twins 7, Orioles 6
April 28: Twins 4, Orioles 2
It finally ended on April 29th in Chicago with a 9-0 win over the White Sox and their rookie starter Jack McDowell. Six of the 21 losses came against the Royals who Baltimore would go 0-12 against in 1988. Hey but after an 0-21 start you have no where to go but up but "up" for the Orioles was playing 32 games under .500 the rest of the season, ending up with 107 losses. Here's a look bacK at the team who epitomized losing for me as a kid.
C: Mickey Tettleton (.261/.330/.424, 15.8 VORP, 9 Win Shares) - Released by the A's right before the start of the season, in limited playing time Tettleton showed some of the power he'd display in future years, breaking out the following season with 26 homeruns. Traded to the Tigers after the 1990 season he'd play their four years and then three years in Texas, his career over after 1997.
1B: Eddie Murray (.284/.361/.474, 46.0 VORP, 21 Win Shares) - Once Cal Ripken is inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2007, this Orioles team will be one of three teams from the 1988 season with more than one Hall of Famer on it's roster. Murray was still very productive into his 30's but this would be his last full season in Baltimore as he was traded to the Dodgers during the offseason for Juan Bell, Brian Holton, and Ken Howell (ehhhh). Tested the free agent waters mutliple times going for L.A. to the Mets after 1991 and then to Cleveland after 1993. He would make a return visit to the Orioles in 1996 via trade to hit his 500th homerun. Split time between the Angels and Dodgers in 1997, his final season. Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2003.
2B: Billy Ripken (.207/.260/.258, -16.3 VORP, 4 Win Shares) - I have to imagine having Billy play the full season with brother Cal was a publicity stunt as there was no way Billy should have been playing a full season with Major League team, even one as bad as the Orioles, circa 1988. Outside of a decent 1990 season the younger Ripken never developed. Left Baltimore after 1992 he bounced around the Majors to Texas, Cleveland, Detroit, with even a return visit to the Orioles in 1996 mixed in.
3B: Rick Schu (.256/.316/.363, 4.4 VORP, 5 Win Shares) - Rene Gonzales played more games at 3rd but Schu made more starts, not that it really mattered. Originally pegged as the guy to the replace Mike Schmidt in Philadelphia as the Phillies actually moved Schmidt to 1st base in 1985 but he never lived up to the hype. Out of organized baseball from 1992 to 1995 made a brief appearance with the Expos in 1996.
SS: Cal Ripken (.264/.372/.431, 55.7 VORP, 25 Win Shares) - Had an off year in '87, Ripken bounced back to have a nice season in the Orioles terrible year. No need to go into the details of his career and will be a first ballot HOF selection next year.
LF: Pete Stanicek (.230/.313/.310, -3.6 VORP, 3 Win Shares) - Orioles had no set outfield all season long with Stanicek making just 46 starts in left but that was the most on the team. This was the only significant playing time he had in the Majors and his baseball career was over quickly after.
CF: Fred Lynn (.252/.312/.482, 16.1 VORP, 6 Win Shares) - Actually didn't finish the season in Baltimore as he was traded at the waiver deadline to Detroit for Chris Hoiles to make way for Brady Anderson. Could still hit for power at this point but it was obvious his career was starting to wide down. Finished his career in 1990 with San Diego.
RF: Joe Orsulak (.288/.331/.422, 12.2 VORP, 9 Win Shares) - Orsulak made a career out of being a servicable, platoon outfielder. First year in Baltimore he'd play there thru 1992 and the join the Mets. Was actually part of a deal in 1997 between the Marlins and Expos that sent Cliff Floyd to Florida and that would be his last season.
DH: Larry Sheets (.230/.302/.343, -7.1 VORP, 6 Win Shares) - Yup not a good sign when your DH puts up those numbers although Eddie Murray actually made the most starts at DH. Sheets was living off his 31 homeruns in the previous year in the homerun explosion of '87. Out of baseball after 1993.
Starting Rotation
Jose Bautista (91 ERA+, 16.5 VORP, 7 Win Shares) - Had put up some fairly impressive numbers in the minors but Bautista's low K rate showed that he wasn't going to be effective in the Majors. Managed to have a couple of decent years with the Cubs as a reliever in 1992/93. Bounced around mutliple teams and orginzations, last appearing in the Majors in 1997 with St. Louis.
Jeff Ballard (89 ERA+, 8.3 VORP, 6 Win Shares) - Tied for the team lead in wins with a grand total of eight he was another young pitcher the Orioles were counting on but had a sub 3.0 K/9 ratio. Some how managed to win 18 games the following year despite awful peripherals. Played a couple of seasons in Pittsburgh, his career over after 1994.
Jay Tibbs (72 ERA+, -10.4 VORP, 1 Win Share) - When you throw almost 160 innings and end up with a single Win Share you know you were bad. Win/Loss record is always deceiving but in the case of Tibbs' 4-15 record it wasn't. Hell how'd he manage to win four games? Actually went 5-0 with a 2.84 ERA the following year in only eight starts but I couldn't find out if he got hurt. Finished career with Pirates in 1990. Despite a short career was involved in four different trades.
Mike Boddicker (101 ERA+, 15.1 VORP, 7 Win Shares) - Another veteran who did not finish the season with the team, he was dealt to the Red Sox at the trade deadline for prospects Brady Anderson and Curt Schilling in a trade that would be scrutinized by Sox fans for several years although he was very effective during his time in Boston. Left Boston as a free agent after 1990 for Kansas City, finishing up his career in 1993 in Milwaukee.
Closer: Tom Niedenfuer (111 ERA+, 10.9 VORP, 7 Win Shares) - Always to be remembered for his two game winning homeruns given up to Ozzie Smith and Jack Clark in the 1985 NLCS. By this point Niedenfuer was no longer the strikeout artist he was but still effective. Signed with Seattle after the season where had an awful year, then finished up his career with a decent year in St. Louis.
Normally I like to make this entry piece a basic fluff piece that tells people what I like and dislike at the moment that only MisawaGQ, Monty Burns, and tigeraid comment on, however I must start this one off on a serious note.
I won't even call it a "Wag of the Finger" as it sounds like I'm just brushing it off, but I do find it seriously disturbing that two teenagers in my hometown, not too far away from my house, shot and killed a police officer for interupting a drug deal at a convenience store (according to the current information). We have never had a police officer murder here in Windsor, and many people here were shocked at the whole thing. A really sad state of affairs.
With that out of the way, I'll move on to the usual light fluff:
- A BIG Tip of the Hat to the Colbert Report. Not just because it was another entertaining way to spend 2 hours spread over 4 days, but because I received an e-mail yesterday telling me my request for tickets to a taping was accepted. I'm not thrilled about the "no guarantee" loophole, but it's a good start.
- A Wag of the Finger to Microsoft for having some lame update, the "Windows Genuine Advantage". Like I want to be informed with a stupid blue star and boot up graphic that I'm not using a genuine winkey. I bought this computer from someone two years ago, I don't know what the hell product code he used. And then to ask for $200 to get rid of this? Outrageous! But...
- A Tip of the Hat to AndrewTS and Leena for helping me solve the problem in the Computer folder. Thanks!
- A Wag of the Finger / Tip of the Hat combo to the WWE. Backlash was decent at best, Raw was ok, and SmackDown! was ok. Each show had a highlight (Triple threat match, Joey Styles promo, and Benoit vs. Finlay) but didn't offer much else outside of that. SmackDown! went a step further by continuing to push Mark Henry, and did so by giving him a win over the world champ (the same champ who made sure to point out in a promo that he was going to tap out and lose to Angle last week). I know Rey is not a long term champ and realistically shouldn't be booked to be one, but giving him SOME credibility before giving the belt to JBL in two weeks would not have been a bad idea. We will see what the rest of the build-up to Judgment Day offers. Getting back to the Styles promo, while many people (including myself) saw it that WWE seems to have some serious intentions with the ECW spin-off, I also couldn't help but think that the "Wrestling vs. Sports Entertainment" promo was the same message Paul Heyman had in a promo the week before The Alliance died at Survivor Series 2001.
- A Tip of the Hat to Dave Meltzer and the Wrestling Observer Newsletter. I love reading it, and that's about it.
- A Wag of the Finger tp Dave Scherer. The "Bad Dave" of wrestling "journalism" hasn't done anything really stupid lately, but this wag is long overdue for all the misleading headlines and ridiculous stuff that site tries to pass off as news. Upcoming spoiler for the PWI website: It will continue to suck.
- A final Tip of the Hat to the people who read and/or comment on this blog. Thanks!
There are many things that helped contribute to the financial problems Shittsburgh is currently facing, and a number of them revolve around still pretending it’s the 1960s and the city is densely populated. Being an evil suburbanite, I get to witness firsthand one of the many services the city pays for that other, smaller communities get done at less expense, or sometimes with no cost at all to the taxpayer. I’m talking about city-employed school crossing guards.
Seriously, I hate these fucking people. The only authority figures that have less authority than these pseudo law-enforcement officials are mall cops that hang out at Orange Julius for most of their shift, hitting on the one cashier who doesn’t weigh 400 lbs. Now you might be thinking, “come on, kkk, aren’t you being a little harsh?” Sorry, but not only do these people get paid $12k a year for only working a few hours per day, but also they get free health and dental insurance and free vision care, along with paid sick days, personal days and paid time off for school holidays. Now the argument over keeping these people is “but they only make up a small portion of the city’s budget.” Yes, but you get a bunch of these “small portions” of any budget, you suddenly find yourself in the red.
Anyway, back to my story. On the drive home from work I have to go past several of these pseudo cops. I can understand escorting grade school children across a busy intersection, but these people are walking with GROWN ADULTS across streets that have minimal, if any, traffic. My first encounter with one of these people came with a portly broad at this one intersection. Like a good motorist I waited until she walked with this middle-aged woman across a street I was about to turn on to. Now every fucking day that she does this she waddles completely across the street with a pedestrian. Of course this time as she got about three-fourths of the way across the street, and well out of the two lanes of road I was about to turn on to, she stops and starts walking back. I of course have to put on the breaks and the bitch says to me, “I have the right of way,” to which I replied, “Yes, your highness.” A few young males nearby heard this and laughed.
This past week I had my second run-in with one of these people. Before driving to meet “fat ass,” the affectionate nickname the better half gave to the aforementioned crossing guard, we deal with another one of these people at a four-way intersection at some government school. Well, as I was making my usual left-hand turn at this intersection I suddenly saw a school bus with its yellow lights on. Of course, when at the stop sign at this four-way there are several houses that block my view of the left road, preventing me from seeing the school bus until I was in the middle of the intersection. Of course the crossing guard was a big help; all she did was just stand there and say to me in a tone that would sound threatening if bellowed by a real officer of the law, “You must come to a stop.” Well no shit bitch. Maybe if instead of talking to the ghetto children at the one corner of this intersection you would have motioned for me not to turn due to the fact I couldn’t see a school bus getting ready to make a stop I wouldn’t have almost been in danger of plowing down some products of our Great Society program. Fucking bitch. Instead of making that turn, I just drove straight through the intersection and continued onward toward my home in suburbia. Ever since, whenever this bitch gives me “permission” to turn left at this intersection, I inch up a few feet, make a deliberate second stop and slowly look both ways before making my turn. Hopefully, one of these times when I turn I’ll be able to run her over.
The funny thing is, on the street that I live at we also have a school bus that makes its daily stop, and, yes there are school crossing guards present. However, they are not employed by the State – they are parents and grandparents, and they do not get paid a decent wage and receive free health care for performing this service.
