Well as I promised, here's the start of my countdown of the most pretentious bands and albums of all time, according to me. Let's get this show on the road.
Consolidated-Here's a doozy, a preachy hip-hop/industrial "marxist" band of pro vegan, anti-capitalist jackoffs who pretty much are the epitomy of preachy, and make Rage Against the Machine look like The Osmonds. The real kicker for the group is their love of the book The Sexual Politics of Meat, a book that pretty much says that if you eat meat, then you hate women and want to rape them. Of course, the band took this to heart, as most of their songs tell you that anyone who eats meat is a rapist. Oh, and if you don't agree with them on their bullshit theories, then you are a fascist (they accuse just about everyone they disagree with fascists) who hates women and is homophobic. Oh, and read the lyrics to the song "Tool and Die", which are so preachy, they would make Lars Van Trier cringe.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is this: There is nothing sadder than hearing obnoxious white dudes rapping about how bad black people have it. Yeah, like they really know anything about the struggles minorities go through in this country. It's practically a fucking minstrel show. I do get some satisfaction though, in the fact that their anti-meat/"feminist" songs are being played at fetish clubs where women are willingly tied up and whipped today. That's irony for ya.
Kiss-Music For The Elder-From what I've heard, even the band themselves are embarrassed of this disaster. I still find it hard to believe that fucking Kiss, probably one of the least pretentious bands of all time, recorded this bloated piece of shit. Just listen to the songs like "The Oddyssey" and "I", and you'll wonder "what the fuck were they thinking". Also, to this day, I still don't know what the fuck the album is about. Could somebody please tell me what the albums concept is?
Burzum-I've mentioned in the past that I hate Burzum, as I've metioned it many a time on this thread. Read all about why I think that Burzum is one of the lamest and most pretentious projects in music history on that thread. Oh, and don't bother responding to Thumbtack, asd he seems to be in a permanent bad mood over there, and I quit arguing with him last week.
Neil Young-Trans-When artists try experimenting with different styles of music, it's a slippery road. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. This album is a perfect example of what happens when it doesn't work. Now I love Neil Young, but damnit, this album is a pretentious mess. Basically, Young decided to experiment with synthesizers and vocorders, and made this album. It's no wonder why it's hard to find in the U.S., except for Imports and on ebay, as it's a bloated disaster, and a real headscratcher as well. This album has split Young fans, with some thinking it's his most daring work. Well, daring doesn't always mean good, if you ask me.
That's all for today. The list continues next time
That game was a fucking gutwrencher.
I DID NOT WANT THIS SERIES TO GO TO A GAME 7.
Sure, I predicted the Lakers to win in 7, but there's no way in fuck that I wanted that to be the situation that the Lakers were faced with. Game 7 is going to have humongous ratings, and the league will be pissing their pants when they get the Nielsen number.
I hate Smush Parker, and he can sit right on the end of that bench with that little queer smile and fucking line that runs down the middle of his head. I wish he would dye it yellow.
Rant over, because I don't want to get myself angrier.
Hi there Carnival, are you comfortable and horny?
Comfortable and throbbing, TSM.
Then go ahead and let loose on America, Carnival.
So I have lots of porns on my 160gb HD, I got about 50gbs of Music, 20 gbs of wrestling, and 65 gbs of porn. The thing is almost full. I need another one. Here is my porn folder, minus the random scenes and dvd's. So here are the favorites.
Consider these NSFW, but i will try to not get too raunchy with the pics
Alexandria Quinn - 313mb
Alicia Rhodes - 293mb
Allie Sin - 507mb
Amee Donovan - 575mb
Audrey Hollander - 1.06gb
Aurora Snow - 449mb
Ava Devine - 3.90gb
Belladonna - 3.39gb
Brandi Lyons - 1.04gb
Britney Madison - 224mb
Brittney Skye - 425mb
Chloe Dior - 865mb
Eva Angelina - 2.78gb
Eve Lawrence - 2.81gb
Flower Tucci - 2.25gb
Gianna - 3.91gb
Haley Paige - 1.09gb
Jayna Oso - 392mb
Jenna Haze - 121mb
Julia Bond - 1.18gb
Katja Kassin - 1.79gb
Katsumi - 633mb
Keri Sable - 404mb
Krystal Steal - 448mb
Lanny Barbie - 1.21gb
Melanie Jagger - 1.11gb
Miko Lee - 158mb
Missy Monroe - 1.27gb
Nautica Thorn - 176mb
Olivia O'Lovely - 1.20gb
Pason - 325mb
Rachel Rotten - 552mb
Rita Foltoyano - 452mb
Sara Jay - 2.23gb
Sierra Sinn - 575mb
Taylor Rain - 564mb
Teagan Presley - 516mb
Tory Lane - 1.07gb
Vanessa Blue - 409mb
Venus - 1.99gb
edit: ok hot linking doesn't work so great with porn sites. copy & paste it if it don't work, or look the name up.
I'll never make fun of LIM's linking skills again.
Before I got side tracked with my entry on The Baseball Network, I'd put together a redo for the 1995 A.L. MVP. This particular vote was one of the best examples of writer bias and how character plays a part in players winning awards. In an incredibly tight vote Mo Vaughn beat out Albert Belle receiving one more first place vote than Belle. To say this was a joke is an understatement. You don't need EQA, VORP, or Win Shares to tell you that Vaughn was in no way better the Belle in 1995. Let's just look at the standard numbers:
G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO AVG OBP SLG TB
Vaughn 140 550 98 165 28 3 39 126 11 4 68 150 .300 .388 .575 316
Belle 143 546 121 173 52 1 50 126 5 2 73 80 .317 .401 .690 377
Edit: Fuck, it of course previewed perfectly fine and it comes out like this. Oh well.
How could anyone look at those numbers and pick Vaughn over Belle? Maybe the writers were just blown away that a man as fat as Vaughn could steal 11 bases. Seriously how the hell did that happen? A guy with a 50-50 doubles/homeruns season with a near .700 slugging and playing on the best team in the league would seem like a slam dunk for the writers. Belle led the league in Slugging, Runs, Total Bases, Doubles, Homeruns, and RBI (tied with Vaughn). His resume that year screams MVP. But Albert Belle was perceived as a bad guy, which was true, and Mo Vaughn was perceived as a good guy, which was partially true. There is no other logical explination for it. The writers liked Vaughn and hated Belle. To add to the case against Vaughn he was arguably not even the best player on his own team as John Valentin had a huge breakout season for the Sox.
A quick look at the rest of the voting, Edgar Martinez finished 3rd with four first place votes as the Mariners won their first division title ever. Then there was 4th place...Jose Mesa. The man has since become a walking punchline in recent years but at one point he was a very good closer. Again the closer argument doesn't have to be made again but someone actually gave Mesa a first place vote. Somebody actually thought that Jose Mesa was the MVP of the league playing on a team that had Belle, Manny Ramirez, Jim Thome, Carlos Baerga, and Kenny Lofton. It's vote like that that should get your voting privledges revoked. Other name of note was Tim Salmon who finished 7th who may have made a much more serious run at the MVP if it weren't for the Angels last season collapse.
Actual Results
1) Mo Vaughn 2) Albert Belle 3) Edgar Martinez 4) Jose Mesa 5) Jay Buhner 6) Randy Johnson 7) Tim Salmon 8) Frank Thomas 9) John Valentin 10) Gary Gaetti 11) Rafael Palmeiro 12) Manny Ramirez 13) Tim Wakefield 14) Jim Edmonds 15) Paul O'Neill 16) Mark McGwire 17t) Wade Boggs 17t) Chuck Knoblauch 19t) Gary DiSarcina 19t) Cal Ripken 21) Kirby Puckett
#10
.300/.388/.575, 119 RC, 145 OPS+, .319 EQA, 52.3 VORP, 24 Win Shares
#9
.308/.402/.558, 108 RC, 148 OPS+, .323 EQA, 46.9 VORP, 25 Win Shares
#8
.333/.424/.487, 109 RC, 138 OPS+, .319 EQA, 72.3 VORP, 27 Win Shares
#7
196 ERA+, 4.52 K/BB, 1.05 WHIP, 87.5 VORP, 22 Win Shares
#6
.314/.438/.558, 110 RC, 158 OPS+, .341 EQA, 61.5 VORP, 24 Win Shares
#5
.298/.399/.533, 109 RC, 139 OPS+, .317 EQA, 74.4 VORP, 29 Win Shares
#4
.330/.429/.594, 136 RC, 164 OPS+, .342 EQA, 70.6 VORP, 29 Win Shares
#3
.308/.454/.606, 137 RC, 178 OPS+, .364 EQA, 76.4 VORP, 28 Win Shares
#2
.317/.401/.690, 150 RC, 178 OPS+, .351 EQA, 85.6 VORP, 30 Win Sahres
#1
.356/.479/.628, 153 RC, 183 OPS+, .372 EQA, 91.0 VORP, 32 Win Shares
Whaaaaaaaaa?
I fully expected for Belle to come out on top but I completely forgot about Martinez. When I put it all on paper Edgar was the easy choice and he emerged as the Mariners premier hitter with Ken Griffey Jr. missing half the season due to a broken wrist. As you see Vaughn was indeed not even the best player on his own team. I nearly left him off the list as he came down between him and Mark McGwire who had ridiculous rate numbers (200 OPS+, .370 EQA) but missed 40 games due to injury so I gave the nod to Vaughn.
-How's it going folks? Not a whole lot going on around here (as usual). Last night though, I couldn't sleep, because there were these obnoxious kids outside at 2:30 in the morning playing with their super soakers and generally making such a racket, I could hear them through my ear plugs. Christ I hate College Freshmen.
-Last night's "South Park" was a major improvement over the previous two episodes. The "Altered States" reference was a great touch (to Family Guy: Quit Refrencing Lucas/Spielberg movies and 80's Pulp Culture, and start referencing obscure cult movies. Then I might watch you again) and the ending made great use of the theme from "The Omen". Also, it pretty much shows viewers once again how dispicable Cartman is.
-Watched "Wolf Creek" and "Event Horizon" last night. Both get 8/10 from me. I'm not getting any more DVD's until "Cemetary Man" hits DVD this June.
-Finally, I'm going to start a countdown to who I think are the most pretentious bands of all time, as well as the most pretentious albums. Anybody have any suggestions?
That's all. The countdown starts tomorrow.
• Boy we’re really going to show Zacarias Moussaoui by giving him life in prison. At this point I don’t care – would you expect anything less from a justice system that freed OJ Simpson and gave a sympathetic ear to the Menendez Brothers? Now the judge got real tough on Moussaoui by saying, “When this proceeding is over, everyone else in this room will leave to see the sun ... hear the birds ... and they can associate with whomever they want… You will spend the rest of your life in a supermax prison. It's absolutely clear who won." Oh shut up already. I bet in six months he gets dial-up Internet access, finally going up to broadband in another three. Also, as the years go on, I’m sure there will be civil rights groups out there that will say we’re being too mean on Moussaoui and take up his cause, or some similar bullshit action. Just like many events, time dulls the senses to the point where the public (or some red diaper doper baby judge) decides that the convicted has paid his or her debt to society, and I’m sure Moussaoui will be another example of this sometime down the future.
Now I’m not a huge death penalty fan. The reason for this is because once you flip the switch or insert that needle that’s it. If a witness lied during the convicted’s trial: too bad. If DNA evidence shows that the condemned was innocent all along: oopsie. The fact you can’t make up for someone who was wrongly found guilty once they’re put to death is my only reservation toward capital punishment. Now if you are videotaped killing a convenience store clerk or police officer, then forget the trial; I’ll turn on Ol’ Sparky myself.
If any good can come out of Moussaoui’s trial it is that I hope some people who didn’t know that the jury system is so broken beyond repair know it now. So if these people ever have their life changed forever due to some thug hopefully, if they have the chance, that they take out this piece of shit who committed the crime against them before calling the proper authorities. After all, someone has to do it since a jury won’t have the stones to do it themselves; unless you live in Texas, of course.
• If I hear one more time that an extra year of college cost Matt Leinart $10 million dollars, I’m going to scream. Oh gee, instead of signing up for the NFL Draft last year and getting picked first overall he got to have a year of college that any of us could only dream of. On top of that, he is going to a Arizona Cardinals team that, although horrible, is much more appealing to any quarterback than the San Francisco 49ers. Leinart’s going to be set for life thanks to his NFL career; so what if he missed out on a bigger signing bonus by waiting a year? Normally I support college players that turn professional early. After all, it takes just one blown knee or torn ACL in a collegiate game to have any pro aspirations go up in smoke. However, if a student wants to stay and enjoy his college experience, then that’s his right, too. If you were Leinart, would you have wanted to spend 2005 getting crushed by NFL defenders or to enjoy a final season of college and getting your pick of just about any 18- to 24-year old in the Southern California region? I thought so.
Going to a WWE event in a big arena is exciting - the loud crowd, well known "superstars" from TV, the pyro, the production, the recognizable entrance themes. Being live at a TV taping for a show that isn't very good can often be fun all the same, just because you were there.
That said, the small setting of an indy crowd can be great, and perhaps even better at times. I already described my excellent experience at a Ring of Honor show in December 2005, but my first indy show experience was with local promotion Border City Wrestling. Now, technically this should be a 22 part series - there were two BCW shows I attended in 2004 at a nightclub that didn't seat many people, had a low roof so no one ever went off the turnbuckles, and overall were not very memorable. They were fine shows, I just don't recall much about them except a picture frame to the head spot gone wrong. A wrestler had stepped on the picture and broke the glass on the picture that was to be used in the spot, and when the spot happened, glass went flying. I got hit with a small piece in the leg, causing me to bleed. Post show I talked to the guys and we all had a good laugh about it. The other thing about those shows I remember is Zach Gowen wrestling and discovering Petey Williams girlfriend was a high school classmate of mine (not at the time, years prior).
The first big BCW show I attended was in January 2005, headlined by Mick Foley. Well, the main event was actually Chris Sabin vs Alex Shelley for the BCW TV title (a title named as such because it dates back to the mid 90s and early 00s when BCW had TV on the local cable channel) with Foley as the referee, but the advertising was for Foley, and rightly so. Earlier in the day, a Foley autograph luncheon was held at a local sports bar, so I got an autograph there and again at the BCW show in the "Meet and Greet" line, which was kind of odd since I forgot to bring the DVD I wanted him to sign, but fun all the same. Jimmy Hart was also on hand and boy does he love interacting and talking with wrestling fans. A friend of mine was working as staff at the event (he was a student at Scott D'amore's Can-Am wrestling school) and told me Jimmy was probably one of the nicest people he met. All I did was tell Jimmy I thought Ted DiBiase's theme was one of the best in history, and not only did he thank me, but he went on to explain to me his theory on making wrestling entrance themes and how important he felt that the wrestler have lines in the song. He just loved talking to people. Foley also seemed nice, but I think the guy in front of me may have annoyed him by acting like a total mark and saying "IT doesn't matter what my name is!" and yelling like the Rock and such.
The show itself was ok / good. Re-watching it recently on DVD, you see not every match is that great, and a lot of what made the matches fun to watch was being there live. Jimmy Jacobs and local guy Phil Atlas vs Danny Daniels and N8 Mattson is good (those teams usually had good matches in BCW). There is a local guy named El Reverso who could be a really good small guy in the future, and I enjoyed his antics at the show. Abyss vs A-1 seemed great live but is "eh" to re-watch on DVD. It was funny that some little kid yelled "Go Foley!" at Abyss, apparently confused. I also got to see Trytan at this show before his brief sting in TNA... meh. He didn't do much though, it was mostly Petey Williams and Bobby Roode vs Chris Harris (James Storm did not make the trip). Harris cut a good heel promo on Canada prior to the match, 9 months before he actually became a heel. Before the main event, Foley cut a pretty good promo and was humorous when he spoke. He mentioned watching Raw on Monday (drew some boos.. even from me - it just seems appropriate to boo WWE at indy shows. I joined the very loud boos at the ROH show when they mentioned giving away tickets to Mania as well) and asked if people in Canada would really cheer Christian and boo HBK, hoping he would not be boo'd. The crowd started HBK and Foley chants at this point. Now I know there were probably some people in attendance from Michigan, but it's just werid hearing a HBK chant in Canada. Shelley vs. Sabin was an excellent match, and a highlight had to be a fan heckling Alex while he had a wrestling hold on Sabin, causing Shelley to yell "this is wrestling, dumbass!".
Post show I went backstage and just sat around, waiting for my friend to finish his assigned duties of cleaning up the place before we took a cab home. I didn't want to bug anyone so I just sat there and listened to them all talk. Most of them were discussing where to go after the show (I think they decided on a Chinese place). Someone also commented to "Patrick" (Shelley) that the tights he was putting away were ones that he wore in TNA. He proceeded to say he doesn't wrestle there anymore and they stopped using him, and he wanted his release / asked for his release and received it. Of course he's there now with a push, but things were different in early 2005.
Overall an excellent time with a large indy crowd. I do not know what attendance was, but word was over 1000, at least. There was a show that the Observer reported as having 1,900 fans at (which some people have said 1,600, and other BCW fans, including one who felt the need to exagerate attendance in a letter to Dave Scherer's PWI website based on someone complaining in a QnA that the NWA title changed hands in front of "100 people", who said over 2000) but that's for another time (despite the fact a blurb about the show is already on this blog).
Next round, 16 teams remaining. Each team plays a three game series against one opponent, with the winners advancing. The former team listed in each set gets home field, while the latter team gets home field advantage for the next two games.
1921 New York Giants vs. 1906 Chicago Cubs
'21 Giants 6, '06 Cubs 2
'06 Cubs 5, '21 Giants 3
'06 Cubs 5, '21 Giants 0
1906 Chicago Cubs win series 2-1
1924 Washington Senators vs. 1929 Philadelphia Athletics
'29 Athletics 5, '24 Senators 4
'29 Athletics 7, '24 Senators 6 (10 Innings)
1929 Philadelphia Athletics win series 2-0
1962 San Francisco Giants vs. 1953 New York Yankees
'53 Yankees 2, '62 Giants 1
'62 Giants 6, '53 Yankees 2
'62 Giants 12, '53 Yankees 5
1962 San Francisco Giants win series 2-1
1961 New York Yankees vs. 1939 New York Yankees
'39 Yankees 5, '61 Yankees 0
'39 Yankees 5, '61 Yankees 3
1939 New York Yankees win series 2-0
1980 Kansas City Royals vs. 1980 Philadelphia Phillies
'80 Royals 4, '80 Phillies 3, 10 Innings
'80 Royals 8, '80 Phillies 1
1980 Kansas City Royals win series 2-0
1977 New York Yankees vs. 1975 Cincinnati Reds
'77 Yankees 2, '75 Reds 1
'75 Reds 5, '77 Yankees 4
'77 Yankees 7, '75 Reds 3
1977 New York Yankees win series 2-1
1988 Oakland Athletics vs. 1998 New York Yankees
'88 Athletics 2, '98 Yankees 1, 11 Innings
'98 Yankees 3, '88 Athletics 2
'88 Athletics 10, '98 Yankees 1
1988 Oakland Athletics win series 2-1
2001 Arizona Diamondbacks vs. 1995 Cleveland Indians
'95 Indians 5, '01 Diamondbacks 4
'95 Indians 2, '01 Diamondbacks 1
1995 Cleveland Indians win series 2-0
-If you would have told me that Joey Styles was done in the business, and is not as great as he was before, I would said you were wrong.
You would be eating crow now.
This promo shows how big this really is. And the fact that he wrote this himself- and Vince Let this go- shows the viewers (The marks, the causals) how damning things have been these last five years.
-Then again, WWE has to come up with a retort just as good- I think DX- despite being the face team, still needs to show loyality to the fans. You pull out HHH and HBK plus two new guys (with a new mega powered female valet) and have them Face off Cena and McMahan on one end, and RVD and ECW at the other.
-Theres a planned show between RAW, and PPV in New York- The Dayton Ohio show, where there billing a WWE vs ECW show. Now do you let RVD face John Cena? Or (Supposdely) JBL? Cena is the most logical choice- JBL cant do anything right now but spout emotional RTC promos- and how this guy was kissing the feet of Dibase many moons ago, how he was apart of All Japans great years...and so on. Dont get me wrong, JBL can cut good promos...but RVD beating John Cena-WWE's spinning Gold Belt Boy, will just put the ! in EC dub!
-The issue now becomes, after the PPV (which will become nearly as big as this years WM- and make twice the money) How does the DX respond to Vince after these issues have come out? How does Cena or JBL deal with losing the title? Will the three week rule come to play?
-All these issues plus the other storylines make this summer the hottest in years. If this ECW becomes successful, Japan no doubt will follow suit- and TNA will have to get there *** in gear and become motvated. I see nothing but good things if they pull this off.
• The Republicans are pissing me off again. Look, I feel your pain because you are the majority party with $3 gas at the pumps. Of course you’re going to get blamed for this. However, don’t insult my intelligence with these hippie $100 rebates some of you bastards are thinking of doing. Sure you guys have tried to increase refinement capacity and other such things, only to have the enviro-weenies and libs beat back these attempts. You may no longer be the party of “small government,” but please, don’t treat your constituency like those welfare leeches who think we can be bought off with some $100 kickback. If you want to buy me off, you’ll have to add a few more zeros to that amount.
Oh who the hell am I kidding? Remember that tantrum I threw a while back because the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review jewed me out of a few dollars? Well, I gave in after a telephone call offered me 33 percent off a subscription. God I’m such a whore.
• Miami Dolphins player Jason Taylor recently got stabbed in some road-rage incident, and now the other motorist is being charged with a HATE CRIME. Really? I thought Taylor got stabbed because he wouldn’t sign an autograph for this guy. Here is why I think “hate crime legislation” is retarded; can’t we lock this schmuck up for, oh, the other things he did (allegedly, of course) during this incident?
One thing I did not know was that Taylor’s wife is Zach Thomas’ sister. Wonder how those two met? I heard about this story earlier today on the radio, and the news guy said Taylor is “half-white,” which makes me wonder if the 100 years this redneck will face in jail for saying “nigger” while breaking the law will be cut in half. Maybe the defense can argue that Burns was calling Taylor’s white half “nigger.” Who knows. Who cares.
As I'm sure anyone who follows sports knows that the Los Angeles Clippers won a playoff series for the first time in 30 years and the first time ever since they've been the Clippers. Outside of a very brief glimmer of hope in the early the 90's they have been the model of futility in professional sports. Since I root for the New Clippers (YOUR Golden State Warriors) I figured I might as well jump on their bandwagon. I do have reservations though what with the gratuitous shots of Billy Crystal that will only increase with them into the next round and Donald Sterling getting credit for anything.
Now for a "tribute" to the Clippers I present the Top 10 best individual seasons by Clippers players since they became the Clippers in 1978 using the basketball version of Win Shares. Again I preface as always I have no idea how reliable this stat is. What this list does show is that Elton Brand has already become the franchise's greatest player, not that this franchise has been full of great players. In fact this past season Brand had the best season ever by a Clippers player.
What other blog will you find Swen Nater content?
1. Elton Brand, '05-'06, 41 Win Shares
24.7 PTS, 10.0 REB, 2.6 AST, 1.0 STL, 2.5 BLK, 2.2 TO
2. Elton Brand, '01-'02, 36 Win Shares
18.2 PTS, 11.6 REB, 2.4 AST, 1.0 STL, 2.0 BLK, 2.2 TO
(couldn't find an image of a Clippers card)
3. World B Free, '78-'79, 33 Win Shares
28.8 PTS, 3.9 REB, 4.4 AST, 1.4 STL, 0.4 BLK, 3.8 TO
4. Danny Manning, '91-'92, 29 Win Shares
19.3 PTS, 6.9 REB, 3.5 AST, 1.6 STL, 1.5 BLK, 2.6 TO
5. Elton Brand, '04-'05, 28 Win Shares
20.0 PTS, 9.5 REB, 2.6 AST, 0.8 STL, 2.1 BLK, 2.3 TO
6. Elton Brand, '03-'04, 26 Win Shares
20.0 PTS, 10.3 REB, 3.3 AST, 0.9 STL, 2.2 BLK, 2.8 TO
7. World B Free, '79-'80, 25 Win Shares
30.2 PTS, 3.5 REB, 4.2 AST, 1.2 STL, 0.5 BLK, 3.4 TO
8. Swen Nater, '80-'81, 24 Win Shares
15.6 PTS, 12.4 REB, 2.4 AST, 0.6 STL, 0.6 BLK, 2.6 TO
9. Mark Jackson, '92-'93, 24 Win Shares
15.2 PTS, 5.0 REB, 9.3 AST, 1.7 STL, 0.2 BLK, 2.8 TO
10. Corey Maggette, '03-'04, 23 Win Shares
20.7 PTS, 5.9 REB, 3.1 AST, 0.9 STL, 0.2 BLK, 2.8 TO
Today's entry brought to you Zapp and Roger. Don't leave home without it!
-Anyways, I'm sure that a lot of people here bought the new Tool album that came out today. It did come out today, didn't it? Just wondering. Anywho, personally, I'm not too interested. Sure, I would have been interested in this back when I was a teenager, but when I turned 21, I finally grew a bit tired of Tool. I don't know wy, but I just did. I'll still have to hear it blaring from speakers in my college, but I will admit, I'd rather hear Tool than that Keisha Cole song "Love". I have to hear that song every fucking day, and I'm sick of it. At least I have Current 93's new album to look forward to later this month. You Tool fans think that five years is a long wait? Try waiting 10 years since David Tibet and co. have released an album of new material.
-I actually enjoyed Raw last night. Not every part of it, but I thought it was good. Highlight of the show was the worked shoot from Joey Styles. Check it out here. Also good was the Kane vs. Conway match, simply for the fact that they made this whole "May 19th" angle a litte enjoyable, or at least for five minutes. Oh, and I still love the Spirit Squad.
Interesting to see that Vince's match gets the first video package of the opening.
Carlito vs. Masters was better than a lot of people probably thought it would be. Masters messing up a two-count appeared to be down to him thinking it was the finish, as Carlito's cover for the actual pin was the same, but for the finish he used the ropes, and it looked like Masters got confused.
Umaga vs. Flair was a virtual squash match. Funny line from Ross asking how often Flair has been beaten this decisively. If the idea is for Flair to headline Vengeance, he needs a lot of rebuilding, because novelty stuff doesn't draw well if it lacks any kind of value in the first place, and Flair losing like this can only damage whatever novelty value his 'last run' at the WWE title has.
James vs. Stratus was short and nowhere as good as their match last month. The finish was strange, but it probably had a purpose.
Shelton vs. RVD was very good and I'd like to see a PPV rematch down the line. With RVD getting the IC Title, I can see him winning the WWE Title at One Night Stand, something being done to take the WWE Title away, but then RVD keeping the IC Title and somehow that becomes part of the ECW Title.
Kane vs. Big Show wasn't very good, and the angle with the lights and the voice was terrible. This is a storyline, due to the movie tie-in, that is meant to draw money, but angles where you cannot suspend your disbelief, even in the slightest, never draw. And this was an angle that you couldn't even begin to lose yourself in. Just terrible overall.
Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels and 'GOD'. The pre-match was terrible comedy that only someone living in their own little world could come up with and think would mean anything. Making the match No Holds Barred was a great way to steal heat from the main event, the match that IS meant to draw, because it allowed this match to do crazy shit to make the crazy shit in the main event less special. Then again, this company is now solely the vehicle for the ego of two people, one of whom owns it, and the other person being someone who will own it. The match itself, when not hampered by the terrible 'God' comedy, was decent garbage fare until the nonsensical ending, and, unfortunately, it looks like this crap has still got a way to go before it ends.
The main event was a classic example of the guy getting put over the most not the guy winning the match. Cena may have won the match but it was, as usual, Hunter getting put over strong, both with the blade job and by leaving everyone, including the referee, laying. As is standard for Cena matches, the reactions were mixed and very strong, and the idea that some people have that Cena is only getting 'X-Pac heat' was proven to be laughable.
Overall, Backlash was a decent PPV, but not worth the $34.95 that some would have paid for it, and with how the main event got devalued as the event drew closer, I don't see Backlash getting anywhere near the buy rate that you know WWE will expect it to get.
40.
I'll stop with the lame fantasy booking for a while.
Soon, I will be creating my Top 10 favorite poster list. Discuss amongst yourselves.
I might do a Worst 10 list before that... but, there wouldn't be many surprises in that.
Anyway, I look forward to spreading joy.
Thanks.
SMACKDOWN 5/5/06
Michael Cole: Welcome to Friday Night Smackdown! With me is Tazz, and we have a super show lined up for you tonight! 8 1st round matches in the quest for the WWE Championship!
Tazz: Yeah Cole, look at the lineup we got today. Undertaker/Booker T in a first round match?! That’s like 9 world titles amongst them! That could be a final for dis tournament. Plus, the return of Batista! Randy Orton! Bobby Lashley! Wow!
Michael Cole: Wow, indeed! And now we take you to a Scotty Go Potty match.
********************
Round 1: Scotty Go Potty vs. Gunner Scott
Tazz: Hey Cole, when did Scotty 2 Hotty change his name to Scotty Go Potty?
Cole: To be honest, I was surprised he was still hired by WWE. But, I must say this a fine name and gimmick change for him.
Tazz: Yeah, well overdue! And who’s this other guy?
Cole: Who knows? Let’s ignore this match, and hopefully it will go away soon.
Series of hip tosses to start, followed by a dropkick knocks Gunner to the mat.
Dropkick to the knee by Go Potty firmly puts down the former Albright.
Scotty goes for a flying elbow, but MISSES!
Gunner takes advantage with a huge suplex, and goes for the pin.
1….1.8.
Scotty tries to counter with a hurricanrana, but Gunner counters with a powerbomb.
Hooks the leg, 1….2…2.8… Scotty just gets his shoulder up.
Gunner then stupidly goes for a sleeper hold, quieting the crowd.
Scotty retards up, and takes the offense with a Russian leg sweep.
Followed by a flying axe handle, setting up… sigh.
You know the rest.
Still a good match, though.
Winner: Scotty Go Potty, via pinfall. (8:55) **3/4
***************************
Round 1: Jamie Noble vs. Sylvan
Sylvan botches a neckbreaker on Noble to start, but thankfully Noble is fine.
Noble then pulls out a mule kick, then a back heel kick, which Sylvan takes the bump on his head twice.
Noble is trying his damndest, but we’re in “bowling shoe ugly” territory here, so James wisely cuts to the chase.
Modified Dragon Sleeper, and Sylvan passes out.
Winner: Jamie Noble, via submission (2:30) **1/2
******************************
Randy Orton comes to the ring.
Randall: I’d like to thank our fine new chairman for giving me the opportunity to win the WWE Championship. A FAIR opportunity. As everyone knows I am a 3rd-generation superstar. And I enjoy killing legends. Triple H may call himself the King of Kings, but I am the proven Legend of Legends.
And look how damn sexy I am. I can have every woman in the world. I am truly irresistible. I can treat you all like shit, and you’ll flock to me.
Of course, I don’t expect any of you pathetic male losers to understand. So, continue booing me. Your jealousy only proves how damned incredible I am. Love me.
Oh, and Joey Mercury. Please refrain from attending our match today. It’s pointless. I’m only interested in defeating legends. And the only real legend on this paltry brand, is The Undertaker. Who has lessened himself to cheating tactics in order to defeat me before. That will be no more, however. I will defeat him.
So, Joey, please don’t interfere with my plans. Thank you.
**********************
Round 1: Mark Henry vs. Nunzio
Nunzio starts the match out with a spin kick, and a lariat that has the big man shaking.
Then, an attempted cross-body from the 2nd rope… and Henry catches Nunzio.
Henry tosses Nunzio in the air, and catches him by the neck, and sends him down with a side choke slam.
Nunzio looks dead.
Then, Henry drags Nunzio up again and delivers a huge power slam.
Splash. And Nunzio is mush.
3.
Winner: Mark Henry, via pinfall (1:46) **1/4
**********************
Round 1: Paul London vs. Finlay
MY NAME IS FINLAY. AND I LIKE TO FIGHT.
Tazz: Ooh, Cole. I’ve been waiting for this matchup. Should be a wrestling masterpiece.
Finlay starts things out with some right hands, that back London into a corner.
Followed by a Stun Gun.
But, London manages to counter afterwards with a kick to the sternum.
London hits a flying kick from the top rope, and follows with a hurricanrana pin attempt.
1…2… 2.5
London hits a huge spinning kick to the jaw of Finlay, that knocks him down.
He follows with a 450 attempt from the top rope!
1….2….3… no he didn’t… 2.95!
London goes for a headlock afterwards, and Finlay fights his way out.
A brutal forearm shiver causes London to bleed from the mouth.
Vertical suplex from Finlay, and London is in trouble.
Some more stiff punches to London’s bloodied mouth further exacerbates Paul’s breathing.
Finlay then takes advantage with the Emerald Fusion!
1….2….3.
Finlay then grabs his shillalegh and beats the hell out of London!
London now his entire face covered in blood.
Though shalt not fuck with Finlay.
Winner: Finlay, via pinfall. (13:38) ***3/4
********************
Hardcore Holly backstage with Josh Matthews.
Matthews: Hardcore Holly, it’s good to see you in fine health again, and back to WWE.
Holly: Quiet. I’m here to teach some lessons to the new kids out there. I plan on beating the hell out of each and every one of ya. Bobby Lashley, prepare for pain. I’m gonna injure ya. How ya like me now.
Round 1:(15) Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly
Hardcore runs right at Lashley, and gives him some quick punches.
However, Holly goes for a body slam, which Lashley refuses to move for.
Lashley then does a firm spike slam, and side slam which knocks Holly out.
Lashley continues with his power offense, and whips Holly into the corner.
With Lashley in full control of the match, he celebrates with the crowd, and Holly uncovers the top turnbuckle.
Lashley slowly walks over, and Holly grabs Bobby by the tights, and slings him headfirst into the open turnbuckle.
Holly then knocks down the staggered Lashley with one of his trademark perfect drop kicks.
1…2….3.
Winner: Hardcore Holly, via pinfall & cheating (7:40) ***1/2
************************
Round 1: (10) Randy Orton vs. Joey Mercury
HEY! NOTHIN’ YOU CAN SAY!
Mercury hits an early drop kick on Orton, to which Melina screams…
And WWE owner Princess Leena comes to ring…
Princess Leena : Excuse me, Melina. But that behavior is unacceptable in a match with such a fine wrestler in the ring. Leave the arena, or you’re fired. That is all.
Melina departs.
Orton then hits the RKO on his Joey, who wonders why he’s still on television without Melina there.
Fin.
Winner: Randy Orton, via pinfall (1:00} **3/4
************************
Batista is backstage, and mumbles about returning from injury. He looks good in a suit.
(7) Batista vs. Orlando Jordan
Batista jumps into the ring, and tears a quad.
And his pecs.
He sits on the mat, and Orlando pins him.
Steroids are bad, kids.
Winner: Orlando Jordan, via pinfall (0:12) *1/2.
*************************
(2) Undertaker, The vs. Booker T
Undertaker punches.
More punches.
Punch.
Punch.
Old School, which Booker T no-sells.
Then Taker feels mild discomfort with whatever Booker T does.
Taker goes for The Last Ride, but Booker manages to drill Taker in the balls while upside down.
Taker says “he’s not feeling it”.
Booker hits the Scissors Kick, Bookend, and Harlem Hangover, which the big asshole still won’t lay down for.
Taker sits up, and Booker legit axe kicks Taker in the back of the head, knocking him out cold.
1….2….3.
Rest in piece, cocksucker.
Winner: Booker T, via pinfall (14:23) **1/2
**********************
Cole: For all of you that don’t want to read this shit, here’s the results today.
That’s all. I’m tired. Watch Scrubs on Sunday.
Vern/Culloden asked to do a redo on this one so I'll put off the 1995 A.L. MVP for another day. 1989 is kind of an interesting year to examine, and hey my favorite sporting year, as Robin Yount won the MVP which I can remember at the time being surprised. Ruben Sierra was the hot young superstar of the moment and he broke out with a great year at age 23 and I always figured he should have won it, without every actually looking to deeply into the issue.
When I'm trying to find an interesting year to do a redo on the first thing I always check are Win Shares. If a player led the league in Win Shares and won the MVP he had to have been at the very least deserving of serious consideration. I had glanced at 1989 before and Yount tied with Sierra for the lead Win Shares so that's partly why I haven't bothered. But there was no clear choice that season, six different players received first place votes, and the Brewers were only a .500 team and the Rangers won 83 games. Usually in a year like this when there is no clear choice it can open the door for an undeserving player on a division winner to steal the award but that wasn't the case. It was a very weak year for offense and is the last time the A.L. homerun leader had fewer than 40 homeruns (Fred McGriff, 36).
The other four players to receive first place votes are an interesting group, due to none of them deserving any serious consideration. Cal Ripken finished 3rd on a the surprise team of the A.L. that season. Baltimore had come off their infamous 107 loss season and started year with a staggering 0-21 start, a record that might never be broken. The rebounded in '89 with a shocking run at the A.L. East title coming up just two games short of the Blue Jays. But even Ripken's writer friendly numbers (.264 avg, 21 hr, 84 rbi) hardly screamed MVP even in a weak year for offense.
Fourth and fifth place went to players on the division winning teams. George Bell received four first place votes even though his teammate McGriff had a far superior year. Dennis Eckersley was next and I don't need to repeat my argument about closers. Eckersley had a stint on the DL and only threw 58 innings although was of course his dominant self when healthy. The last player to receive a first place vote was Eck's teammate Carney Lansford. What was so interesting about this was Lansford finished 17th in the voting so he appeared on hardly any ballots at all yet someone gave him a first place vote. He actually had a very good year, not MVP calibar mind you but hey may have deserved passing consideration for a 10th place vote.
In a year without much offense and no clear choice among the players you would think a pitcher could emerge as the MVP and there was a very interesting candidate out there. Bret Saberhagen won the Cy Young, receiving all but one first place vote, and finished 8th in the MVP voting. With a 23-6 record, 2.16 ERA, and throw in playing on a Royals team that won 92 games I have to say I'm surprised he didn't receive more support from the writers.
One last note about the voting, this season had possibly the worst player (in terms of the season they had) to receive an MVP vote ever. Someone gave Mookie Wilson a 10th place vote, who had been acquired by the Blue Jays from the Mets at the trade deadline. Even a truly great player shouldn't garner an MVP vote if they were in the league for just the final two months of the season. In 247 plate appearances Wilson put up a .298/.311/.370 line. I'm sure he probably had a couple of "clutch" hits down the stretch which I'm assuming swayed some idiot writer to give him a spot on his ballot.
Actual Results
1) Robin Yount 2) Ruben Sierra 3) Cal Ripken 4) George Bell 5) Dennis Eckersley 6) Fred McGriff 7) Kirby Puckett 8) Bret Saberhagen 9) Rickey Henderson 10) Bo Jackson 11) Dave Parker 12) Gregg Olson 13) Bert Blyleven 14) Dave Stewart 15) Don Mattingly 16) Joe Carter 17) Carney Lansford 18) Nick Esasky 19) Tony Fernandez 20) Mike Moore 21t) Wade Boggs 21t) Steve Sax 23t) Alvin Davis 23t) Nolan Ryan 25t) Chilli Davis 25t) Mark McGwire 25t) Mookie Wilson
#10
140 ERA+, 2.98 K/BB, 1.12 WHIP, 65.0 VORP, 22 Win Shares
#9
.315/.379/.439, 103 RC, 132 OPS+, .307 EQA, 53.7 VORP, 27 Win Shares
#8
.305/.424/.496, 104 RC, 156 OPS+, .335 EQA, 51.8 VORP, 26 Win Shares
#7
.339/.379/.465, 112 RC, 131 OPS+, .306 EQA, 59.0 VORP, 27 Win Shares
#6
.274/.411/.399, 89 RC, 133 OPS+, .325 EQA, 50.9 VORP, 30 Win Shares
#5
.330/.430/.449, 120 RC, 143 OPS+, .324 EQA, 62.5 VORP, 29 Win Shares
#4
.269/.399/.525, 115 RC, 161 OPS+, .335 EQA, 53.9 VORP, 30 Win Shares
#3
.306/.347/.543, 120 RC, 146 OPS+, .314 EQA, 58.8 VORP, 34 Win Shares
#2
178 ERA+, 4.49 K/BB, 0.96 WHIP, 79.5 VORP, 28 Win Shares
#1
.318/.384/.511, 120 RC, 152 OPS+, .326 EQA, 75.8 VORP, 34 Win Shares
There you have it, Robin Yount was the best choice and in a year with no run away winner the writers actually picked the right guy. Any of the Top 4 would have been fine choices and I shuffled 2 thru 4 a couple of times before settling on it.
38.
LOLLIPOPZ I BET PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK THIS IS AN ENTRY ON RAW!! HAHA SILLY PANTS. Like I'd actually watch that stuff.
I need the views, though. I've almost caught kkk.
MONDAY NIGHT RAW 5/1/06.
Triple H interview.
Bow down, bow down, bow down to the King.
“Some broad gets control of my business, and decides to run some cute tournament. Fine! Great! But, all of the boys know it’s a waste of time. The WWE Championships belongs to the King of Kings! The Game! God! And how did I gain such neato monikers? Because I win a lot of matchesaaa! I’m pretty goodaaa!
*says the same thing basically for another 18 minutes*
So, cheerleader fag, tonight, your fantasy ends. Apparently, the online losers think you were all that in OVW, whatever that is. The morons can think what they want. The fact remains that when it comes to workrate, I am the greatest. I bust my ass in one-hour classic matches at PPV’s because I am just so gosh darn great!
Tonight, I’m squashing you, Doane!”
----------
1st Round: Gene Snitsky vs Rene Dupree.
Snitsky in control early with punches.
Dupree fights back, hits Full Nelson slam
1…. 2….
Dupree with a big clothesline
1… 2….
Snitsky with a big boot.
Pumphandle slam. End.
Winner: Gene Snitsky (4:52) 1/2*
----------
1st Round: Matt Striker vs Chavo Guerrero
Chavo controls for most of the match.
Crowd chants EDDIE.
Chavo cries.
Matt hits the Happy Monkey, and Chavo taps.
Winner: Matt Striker (6:29) DUD
----------
Grisham: “Chavo, you lost.”
Chavo: “Eddie Guerrero.”
Grisham: “Talk about your match.”
Chavo: “Eddie Guerrrero?”
Grisham: “K. Bye.”
Chavo: “Eddie. Eddie. Guerrrrrerrrro.”
----------
The Spirit Squad is backstage.
“Cheer. We will all have to work hard to defeat Val Venis. He’s a professional jobber, so we like can’t lose, and stuff. Rah rah, Johnny is gonna win, sis boom bah.”
1st Round: Johnny vs Val Venis
Venis hits a right hand and slam.
More jobber offense.
Johnny flips around and stuff.
Venis no-sells it with his oozing machismo.
Venis goes for the Money Shot, this will do it.
But Mitch or Mikey, whichever one isn’t injured, I can’t remember, pulls Venis off the ropes.
Ref sees it.
Spirit Squad do the lifty thing to Venis then.
Pain ensues.
Winner: Val Venis, via DQ. (8:20) 3/4*
----------
Maria: “Hi. I’m Maria. You’re Chris Masters. You have match against some guy.”
Masters: “DER. IM DA MASTERPIECE. BOO ME.”
Maria: “BOO!”
Masters: “YAYA BOOOOO I POOT YA IN DA MASTERLOCK! NOBODY CAN GET IN IT AND THAN GET OUT OF IT! IM DA GIME BUNNIE!”
1st Round: Chris Masters vs Danny Basham
Piss break for the crowd.
Danny won when Masters tripped over his drool.
Winner: Danny Basham (0:27) -***
----------
1st Round: (9) Rob Van Dam vs Trevor Murdoch
Power fat guy stuff from Murdoch to starts.
RVD sells with mild discomfort.
Then magically gains all his power back for a flying elbow.
IT'S 420 TIME, OH EM GEE IM SO HIGH
1….2….2.87
RVD face jams Murdoch.
1….2…2.33
Some more uninspired brawling from Murdoch.
RVD counters with a Spin Kick.
Then Rolling Thunder.
Then poses like Mickey Mouse.
Then hits the 5 Star Frog Splash.
Then rolls around with a sore tummy.
Then pins Murdoch.
Then wins.
Winner: (9) Rob Van Dam (5:02) 1/2*
----------
Cade and Murdoch are backstage. They wanted to rip into Edge. They’re angry that they suck, and Cade so knows he’s losing to Edge.
Meanwhile, Edge stuffs his entire head inside of Lita.
1st Round: (8) Edge vs Lance Cade
Squash.
Then, Lita cheats by going in the ring and slapping Cade.
Ref sees it, but it’s Lance Cade. So, whatever.
Murdoch tries to interfere, but missed his cue, so ignore that.
Spear from stick boy that wouldn’t kill a fly.
3.
Winner: (8) Edge (1:42) **1/4
----------
Kane backstage: “Mickie James. This will be the greatest match ever. Inside of that ring. I will rape you in front a live national audience. Muahahahaha.”
1st Round: (16) Kane vs Mickie James
Mickie James takes the mic.
“Kane… ummm, I wouldn’t mind sleeping around. But, I only do that with girls. So, bye.”
Kane runs up the ramp and grabs Mickie.
Throws in the ring.
Giant chokeslam, and he starts to undress Mickie.
We see her lovely breasts.
And her roast beef down there.
For pics, search online. Google is best. This is a family show.
Then, Kane suddenly remembered that he burned his penis off long ago, and cries.
CONTINUITY IS REBORN!
Mickie runs away, and loses via countout.
Winner: (16) Kane, via countout, I guess (2:00) -*
----------
1st Round: (1) HHH vs Kenny
Kenny walks into a knee.
HHH hits him with more knees.
Knee lift.
The Spirit Squad looks to interfere, but HHH stares at them, and they back off.
Then they attack anyway, and of course, HHH beats them 1-on-5.
Pedigree. Take it to da pay winda.
Winner: (1) HHH (0:58) *
----------
Results!
Next week on RAW, more 1st round fun! Tune in!
• Well today a bunch of illegal immigrants are supposed to show us what it would be like without their presence. Like I've said before, don't pick your lettuce, but only if you also don't show up at our emergency rooms or schools. Also it would be greatly appreciated if you didn't receive any public assistance from our country's numerous free-money centers. If these people are going to go south of the border, if only for a day, then I'll feel a lot safer should I get blindsided by a motorist today. Not only will I be able to understand the words coming out of this person's mouth, but also there's a greater chance that driver will have insurance.
• The NFL Draft has passed, and I forgot to talk about my all-time favorite moment, which was when Emily Manning threw his little shitfit and pouted like a bitch when the San Diego Chargers drafted him with the first overall pick a few years ago. I don't know what was better -- hearing the boos he got from the crowd, seeing Emily barely latch onto that #1 Chargers jersey, or listening to Chris Berman trying to spin the whole situation, "See, he's even holding up that jersey; what a great sport!" All of this only led up to the best part of the draft, hands down, when it was announced Emily was traded to New York and then to hear the NYC crowd react when the commish began reading off everything the Giants gave up.
• Speaking of drafts, I figure this might be a good time to reflect on the time I attended a professional sports draft. No, I didn't drive up to New York City and wear some stupid green hard hat with an airplane on it. My one friend, who was a partial season ticket holder to Penguin games, gave me her pair of tickets to the 1997 NHL draft that took place in Shittsburgh because she was going to be out of town that week. The funny thing is I knew none of the athletes being drafted at this event. Joe Thornton was the top pick that year, but I don't know (or pronounce the names of) anyone else that got picked this day, although Sergei Samsonov is ringing a bell for some reason. Anyway, my friend that I brought with the other ticket and I just sat and watched these names being called and cheered when the Pens made their selections. One highlight from this day came when the crowd who attended this event booed every time the Rangers made a pick. In addition, I think some kid who played goalie for a nearby college or minor-league team got drafted. Even though the day was fairly uneventful, it wasn't a total waste of a day. After all, it's not every day you get all the teams of a sports league get together and prepare for their futures right before your eyes.
• I heard over the weekend that Shittsburgh has a National Woman's Professional Football team called the "Passion." Oh well, seeing how this team has survived three seasons already, I guess you go, girls. This team can't be any worse than the USFL's Maulers from back in the day.
37.
RAW Preview - 5/1/06.
A new era begins, as "May Madness.", the 64-wrestler tournament begins in the quest for the WWE Championship.
Eight 1st round matches begin tonight...
Can the KING OF KINGS win his 11st WWE Championship? Mickie James vs. Kane? Danny Basham is on RAW?
Such excitement.
Watch.
-Well, I'm pretty busy as of late, which isn't the best way to start out the first entry of May '06. Oh well.
-Has anybody seen the new commercial for the new Super Soaker called "The Oozinator"? If so, I just have to tell you: It scares the shit out of me. The commercial looks like it was made by pedophiles.
-I saw Steve Colbert's ripping on the president on the net last night, and I liked what I saw. The silence in the room (filled with other Republicans) makes it a bit uncomfortable though.
-Last Saturday's "Best Of" SNL episode (Best of TV Funhouse) was awesome. I always loved the TV Funhouse skits, and they had some of my favorites, including the X-Presidents, Fun With Real Audio (The Newscaster one and the MCain one were awesome, as was the Clinton Testimony one), Shazaang!, Cartoons in Black History (My favorite being the all African singing one), "Trapped In The Disney Vault", "Christmas Time For the Jews" The tribute to Charles Schultz...they had almost everything. The only problems were the cutting some of them got, and the Ace and Gary bits were annoying. Oh, and for thouse of you who wish they had the Ray Lewis one, Here's "Ray of Light".
-Now, here's a website for ya: http://www.bangme.net/ . There's some real "winners" here, just to let you know.
The Second Biggest Storyline Ever: UFC Invasion
UFC, SPIKETV, and TNA have a synergistic relationship with each other. Currently, SPIKE has grouped TNA and UFC in the same television block on Thursday Nights, with the idea that there is a crossover fan that watches The Ultimate Fighter and will stay around to see Impact. The following storyline will take advantage of this relationship. See, this angle takes place directly after the TUF finale, which means UFC will not have any television aside from UFC Unleashed –which is a collection of fights that already happened- and the odd Ultimate Fight Night Live, so they are able to keep their name and face on TV on a regular basis. And TNA gets the rub off the UFC.
Of course, UFC fans will probably hate it because Pro Wrestling would taint the sport, and TNA fans would hate it because they are not familiar with MMA. But I like this story, and it is a complete rip-off of the NWO invasion… which was a rip-off of the UWF-i/NJPW feud… and UWF-I was a fake shoot group whose head guy – Nobuhiko Takada – was the biggest star in PRIDE during its formative years, and UWF-I also produced one of the greatest fighters ever in Kazushi Sakuraba. The point? Well, there isn’t one… cept that things kinda have a way of coming full circle.
In June, The Ultimate Fighter will be having its finale. The TUF 2 finale drew one of the highest ratings for the UFC with a 2.0 and the TUF 1 finale was the first time the UFC was on national television live and will be remembered for the amazing fight between Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar. This is where the angle begins.
The UFC likes to have a main event on the card, along with the two finals (Middleweight and Lightweight division finals). They like to feature interviews with celebrities and whatnot that are in attendance in regards to the main event.
*On TUF 3 Finale*
Joe Rogan: I’m here with Samoa Joe from TNA Impact, which will be following this show on SPIKETV at 11pm EST. Joe, how are you likin the fights tonight?
Samoa Joe: It’s been a great night of fights, lots of action, I’m enjoyin it a lot. I’ve got a martial arts background myself, I like to incorporate some MMA stuff into my matches, so I’m havin a blast watching this stuff live.
Joe Rogan: So who do you think is going to win between Fighter X and Fighter Y?
Samoa Joe: Well, Fighter X is this. But Fighter Y is that. It doesn’t really matter, though, I could take them both out.
Joe Rogan: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Samoa Joe: Nah. Put them in a wrestling ring with me, and I’d have them tapping out in no time.
Joe Rogan (with a bewildered look on his face): Ooook, Professional Wrestler Samoa Joe thinks he can beat Fighter X and Y, back to you Goldie.
*later on*
Joe Rogan: So Dana, we had TNA Pro Wrestler Samoa Joe on earlier saying he could beat both X and Y, what are you comments on this?
Dana White: So what? That’s professional wrestling. It’s ridiculous. You will never see a UFC fighter in a TNA ring. That’s all that needs to be said on it.
*On the TNA show after TUF 3 finale*
Mike Tenay: Welcome everyone to TNA Impact, your 60 minute adrenaline rush *gets a feed from his headset* Uh huh. Uh huh. WHAT? Ladies and Gentlemen I have just been notified that DANA WHITE – President of the UFC – has just called our producers in response to the shocking comments Samoa Joe made on the live telecast that aired before this show and WILL BE HERE NEXT WEEK to directly and publicly address TNA management on this issue.
Don West: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING INCREDIBLE THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! DANA WHITE! PRESIDENT OF THE UFC! HERE IN THE IMPACT ZONE NEXT WEEK!
*The next week*
*First segment*
*Dana White comes down to the ring, no music, or anything*
*Mike Tenay is in the center of the ring*
Mike Tenay: Ladies and Gentlemen, UFC president Dana White. Dana, word has it, you called SPIKETV offices immediately after Samoa Joes comments last week and demanded to be on TNA Impact this week to address those comments publicly. The good people at SPIKETV relayed the message to TNA management and producers who, because of the UFC’s relationship with SPIKE, would comply to your request. What do you want to say?
Dana White: … Are you through?... Ok… *Grabs the mic* Now, last week, a wrestler by the name of Samoa Joe came on my television programming and basically insulted my fighters by saying he could take them in a match. Now, the UFC was gracious enough to put that guy on our live show to get over this television show and get exposed to a larger audience, and in return he decides to take advantage of our goodwill and start making open challenges. If you didn’t hear what I said last week, I will say it again tonight. There will not be a UFC fighter, under contract to us, that will be in any TNA match. Our fighters are not professional wrestlers. Our fighters are real. They really hit each other, they really get hurt. UFC is as real as it gets. So I am out here tonight looking for an apology from TNA management, who I assume are not wrestlers themselves and therefore have some brains in their heads and will know how important I am and how important the UFC is to SPIKETV and will come down here and give me that apology or else I’ll go right from this building, fly over to SPIKETV offices, and get this show taken off the air. So who the hell is in charge here?
*Dixie Carter comes down*
Don West: OH MY GOODNESS! DIXE CARTER! TNA PRESIDENT! I’VE ONLY SEEN HER BEHIND THE SCENES! NEVER INFRONT OF A CAMERA BEFORE!
*Dixie steps into the ring*
Dana White: So, uh, you’re the one I should be talking to.
Dixie Carter: Yes. I am President of TNA Wrestling.
Dana White: So you’re the one I should blame for what your wrestler said on my programming? First of all, I want that guy punished. I am holding him and I am holding YOU responsible for his insulting comments and I want some punishment laid down by TNA management.
Dixie Carter: Well, first of all, I don’t really appreciate being called out here on national television. There are better ways, more professional ways, of handling things.
Dana White: Well, I figured that since your guy decided to be unprofessional on my national television show, then I should return the favour.
Dixie Carter: I see. And secondly, after considering your demands and your relationship with SPIKE, I think it would be appropriate to suspend Samoa Joe for 30 days.
Dana White: 30 days? 30 days! You’re kidding me, right? That’s what I hate about professional wrestling. In the real world, if he were one of my guys, he’d be gone for 6 months. But in this fantasy world you have, 30 days is supposed to be enough punishment? I..
Dixie Carter: .. Dana…
Dana White: Don’t interrupt me… I can’t believe this stuff is still popular. This is so stupid. I can’t believe this morons here in Florida come out and eat this stuff up. Well, on second thought, we ran a show here a few years ago and you morons couldn’t have been more useless, so maybe I can believe that you’d like this stuff.
Dixie Carter: Now Dana.
Dana White: I said SHUT UP. And you will keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.
Dana White: This stuff is so fake. 30 days? Ridiculous. Samoa Joe tapping out my guys. You’re in fantasy land. The UFC is real. The real deal. This? This is all pretend. No one really gets hurt. It’s all an act. It’s all..
*Jeff Jarrett sneaks up behind Dana White and as Dana turns around JJ hits him with a guitar. Knocking Dana out.*
Don West: OH MY LORD JEFF JARRETT JUST NAILED DANA WHITE WITH A GUITAR!!!
*The next week, after replaying the previous weeks attacks*
Mike Tenay: UFC President Dana White has requested some SPIKE television time for a pre-taped announcement.
Dana White: Last week I was viciously attacked by a TNA wrestler named Jeff Jarrett. Before that I said that no UFC fighter would appear on TNA television. But when I said that, it was strictly on a professional level. A guitar shot and 12 stitches later, and this has become personal. I could go to SPIKETV and get TNA yanked off the air, but instead, instead I want to humiliate TNA. Instead I will be sending two UFC stars next week to attend a TNA Impact show, sit front row in the audience, and if they happen to cause any trouble, then so be it. I feel bad for the security guards who try to stop them.
*To Be Continued>>>*
This diary will suck. I'm only doing a halfass diary in my 100th lame attempt to maybe keep playing this game for more than a week. And it's fine filler for this blog.
Backstory.
Vince McMahon had willing sexual relations with a 22-year old slut named Princess Leena. Leena then sued him for sexual harassment, because she's a greedy bitch. And won. Leena obtained the rights to the WWE, and the entire McMahon family was exiled to work in the zoo, cleaning panda poop.
The end.
Introduction by the new Owner.
Press conference with the new WWE owner.
Princess Leena: Hi. I own this thing. Let's cut to the chase about the ensuing changes.
All current title holders are stripped of their titles.
There will be a 64-wrestler tournament to be WWE Champion.
There will only be one WWE Champion. The World Title has been removed.
After the tournament, the Intercontinental, European, Cruiserweight, and Tag Team belts will be added.
The brands will remain the same. The only change with the TV shows, is that the current Internet shows are removed. And are replaced by WWE Scrubs. On every Saturday night at 3am! Scrubs will consist of "superstars" from both brands.
The WWE Championship tournament consists 32 workers from each brand included in the tourney. The draw was made randomly... with the top 16 ranked wrestlers spread amongst the draw.
Here's the draw: http://tournawiz.com/64draw.php?id=82&uid=leena
Fin.
