8 p.m.
• This one writes itself.
• Don't you know that not letting hospital beds face Mecca is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
Actually, this one doesn't sound too bad -- at least when compared to the other instances Muslims have been mad. I guess the only jihad these people can wage is with their bedpans in this case. Even during my high school years, I often questioned the Bible-thumpers that wanted prayer in schools. My question always was, "Don't Muslims pray five times a day -- what would you do for them?" Looks like I'll be getting the answer to this question soon enough.
It's either this or the MNW, and I'm certainly not watching that after watching USC lose a tough game to Memphis. It's gotta be something sure to put me in a good mood.
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We see the clip from last week, where the Midnight Express came to the ring and attacked the Rock n Roll Express, but most notably, injured the throat of Ricky Morton.
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The first match is Ron Garvin vs. Pablo Crenshaw, and in what's not a surprise, Garvin finishes it with a HAND OF STONE, at 3:20. *. He cuts a promo, and talks about how much desire he has. Garvin says that Flair used to have it, but it's disappeared.
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Ivan Koloff (World 6 Man Tag Champion) faces Benny "U-Haul" Traylor, and it goes a little long for my taste. Koloff does 2 of every move during the match, and pins Traylor with the Russian Sickle at 4:52. DUD. Seen better from Uncle Ivan.
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Jimmy Valiant comes out and cuts a promo. Man, I think he's funny as hell, and I don't even know why. He faces Mr. Georgia Tech (look at the mask). The guy's name is never mentioned, and probably with good reason. Valiant gives him the Boogie Woogie Elbow, at around 3:40. Thankfully, it was short. 1/4*.
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Ric Flair comes out, and talks about women, and Ron Garvin. Space Mountain and all that, yadayadayada. Not one of his better efforts.
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Quickly following him, it's Nikita and Uncle Ivan. Well, Paul Jones appears, and volunteers a wrestler to help them defend their 6-man trophy. It's BARON VON FUCKING RASCHKE!!! Baron goes to the ring, and he's facing Tony Zane. He gives that ugly motherfucker THE CLAW, at 2:49, and Zane submits. Jones makes sure that the referee doesn't make him break the hold, and Tony Schiavone calls Randy Anderson, "Peewee." Did not know they used to call him that. Baron cuts a promo, and while I like how he talks, it isn't very "German." But whatever. Match was 1/2*.
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Sam Houston (Mid Atlantic Heavyweight Champion) faces off against Art Prills next. Dear God help me. I can't stand Houston's squashes, so, of course, this one is extra long. 7:12, and ended with Houston's bulldog. 7 FUCKING 12. No squash should EVER be that long. DUD.
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Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll are with Tony, Dusty's talking about he and Baby Doll going up to the Himalayas, and Baby Doll riding a YAK. What? That makes no sense. He's making fun of Ric Flair, obviously, and talking about how he travels the world. He says he's going to go see Don Owen this week (promoter, ran Portland). Baby Doll talks about Tully a bit, and I don't like listening to her all that much, so it's a good thing that ran short.
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The Barbarian w/Paul Jones is taking on the Big Bossman Big Bubba Rogers The Boss The Guardian Angel Ray Taylor next. Taylor's a huge guy. So, Barbarian gives him a powerslam, and finishes off the match with a flying headbutt off the top, at 3:33:33. No typo. *1/4. I love watching Barbarian beat the shit out of these jobbers.
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Magnum TA's with Tony, to talk about Nikita Koloff. Magnum was at Vengeance 07? Why the fuck did I not know this? Lee Peek is taking on Magnum (US Champion), and Magnum beats him with the belly-to-belly in 34 seconds. Thanks for the short squash. *.
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Here comes the shit I hate, more Dusty overkill. Tony's with Dusty's doctor, and the doctor says that Dusty has to get rid of the steel toe boot he's been wearing. Arn Anderson comes out after the pretaped clip is shown, and he's livid. Cause Dusty and Arn have a cage match, see. Arn says he doesn't belong in a cage, he's not a criminal. But at the end he says, remember what happened the last time an Anderson was in a cage with Dusty. Good promo.
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The Rock n Roll Express face the team of Larry Clarke and Jerry Garmon next. Quickly finished at 4:14 with the double dropkick, that gets Ricky Morton the pinfall. *.
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Jim Cornette comes to the commentary area. Oh shit. He's not happy because of all the mail about what they did to Ricky Morton. He talks about the pre-pubescent little girls who like Morton and only know how to write with crayon. It's so hard to keep up with him, that's all I wrote down. He rambles, on and on and on. In a good way, though. Seeing as he came out, the Midnight Express have to be facing someone. It's Larry Vickery and Bill Tabb. The Midnights finish Vickery at 5:07, after Condrey launches Bobby Eaton onto Vickery, with a splash off the top. **. Again, this is a lesson in squashing. Anyone that watches The Wire, they'd think that Bill Tabb looks a bit like Dennis "Cutty" Wise. You know, the guy that came out of jail, got back in "the game" and bitched out. Enough of that, though.
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Poor old Gene Ligon has to face Tully Blanchard w/JJ Dillon. Dillon just called Baby Doll out. He said it would take a forklift to put her on the back of a yak. Yo. The fans continually chant "I Quit" throughout the match, which is awesome. I like how HARD it was for fans to forget stuff back then. Now, it's easy for the regular fan to forget something after a week or two. Sucks, but that's the business, I suppose. Tully finishes Ligon with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX at 4:48. *1/2.
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Garvin comes out again, and we flashback to 12/28. Review for that is right here..
http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/blog/kingo...?showentry=2299
It was awesome. Back to the show, Ric Flair comes out, and punches Garvin right in the mouth. FIGHT!!! He throws Garvin in the ring, and tosses Mac Jeffers and the referee out of there. Flair chops Garvin to death and gives him a suplex, then sits on Garvin, like Garvin does when he's pinning a jobber. Oh fuck no. Flair walks back towards the commentary table, and Garvin attacks him from behind. Now Garvin starts to beat his ass, until Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson run into the ring, and hold Garvin for Flair to beat up. Dusty, Magnum and Sam Houston (one of these does not belong) run out to the ring, and save Garvin. Garvin gives Flair a HAND OF STONE, and sits on him, just like Flair did a minute ago. Haha. To the commercial, and Flair's still out. Tully and Arn have words for the babyfaces, talking about how the Four Horsemen will retaliate. You don't mess with their family.
Hot, HOT segment.
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Now, the match that was interrupted by Garvin/Flair. It's my nephew Nikita vs. Mac Jeffers. Throughout the match, Nikita stops what he's doing, and goes into Goldberg mode, yelling out STINKIN' ROAD WARRIOR. So awesome. See, I would have done the Goldberg thing with him back then. No joke. Had they done that, whichever American that beat him would have received the ULTIMATE rub. The Sickle finishes at 4:00. Nikita is so awesome. If you think otherwise, you just don't understand. *1/2. Nikita, Baron and Ivan come to the commentary area, and Nikita talks about how he'll be US Champion. Ivan says Khrusher will be back, but until then, they'll use "greedy American" Paul Jones' help. They say they like greedy Americans.
The show's over, after we see Flair get knocked out by Garvin again.
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Rating: Good. Hot angle, stinkin' ROAD WARRIOR, Jim Cornette, and Baron Von Raschke. My bias for this promotion and especially this time period is well known, but I don't know how anyone could NOT like this stuff.
Best Segment: Garvin knocking out Flair.
Worst Segment: Sam Houston's LONG squash. Please, stop. At least make them shorter.
Loudest Sound: Tully, Flair, Nikita and Ivan. Simple.
No Sound: Nobody. The crowd goes nuts to see all of them.
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Don't know what I'll review next. Not the MNW, cause the Kings play tonight, and so do the Lakers. I'll probably review nothing. I don't like the way everything's being spread out this month. Instead, I'll be watching some PURO, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself, so no review.
8:30 p.m.
• So I had my second job interview at one place today. Eh, I’ll talk more about this later if I feel like it. However, while I was out, I got a call from another place I interviewed at and it looks like I might be getting an offer. I’ve never had someone call me up and say, “thanks for the interview but we hired someone else.” Now this person could be calling me to say that whatever grant I will be mooching off of didn’t come through, but I’m such a hopeless optimist that I’ll just brush this under the rug. But in even bigger news, I finally got the four-volume James Bond DVD set. On sale. On a good sale. In addition to recent “Casino Royale.” Now I have to stash these away and wait until after Christmas just in case the better half got these for me. Hey, if she did and she got them on sale then I’ll be so proud and gladly return my set without her knowing.
• Those must be some good-ass prospects.
• OK, peep this headline.
So what do you think happened? Did the cooks spit in the stew? Put detergent in this entree? How about jacking off over it? Nope.
That's it? Chirst. God only knows what would have happened to me if I worked at this place. Just for the record, the jacking off into the pizza wasn't from me, although the other two incidents are. However, even though the beat-off pizza story is from secondhand information, I believe the person involved in this story would do such a thing.
Of course, I'm trying to find this video clip but all I'm coming up with is this, and unless there's animated tentacle rape I'm not watching anything from Japan. Well, excepted for stacked beef stew.
8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster)
A lot of artists are accused of sounding the same. That out of the way, none of them have been sued, except for a 1994 case in which John Fogerty was sued. He was sued because his song "Old Man Down the Road" sounded a lot like the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Run Through the Jungle." In other words, John was sued for sounding like well, himself.
7.) Cynthia teh cock
We all want to remember our rock idols-some in interesting ways. For Cynthia Albritton, it was making plaster molds of her rock idols cocks. She's done cock-models of Kiss (Who wrote a song about her), Pop Will Eat Itself, Hendrix (her favorite), Jello Biafra, and more. That my friends, is dedication. Her work has even been featured in art exhibits.
I bring GIFTS!!! I'll be posting these in increments of four.
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We're saving the best for last, so it'll be Val Venis' gift, right now. I thought this would be the skit where his dick got chopped off, and next week he said it wasn't, but it's not. Instead, it's Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito from 11/28/05.
Blow-by-blow: Carlito spits in the face of people that aren't cool, obviously meaning Shawn, then knocks Shawn out to ringside. I like when Carlito spits on people. Carlito chokes HBK with his shirt, and rams him into the barrier at ringside. On the inside, Carlito does the move I saw on Wiki was called the Back Stabber, obviously to work on the back of Shawn. Carlito applies a headlock, and takes Shawn down to the canvas. He gives Shawn a shoulderblock when shot into the ropes, and goes for another, but Shawn gives him a hiptoss. Shawn tries to roll up Carlito, and gets thrown back, but misses a charge to the ropes, and SKINS THE CAT, to come back in. Carlito clotheslines Shawn over the top when he gets back in, and gives him a plancha out to the floor. Back in, Carlito gets 2. Carlito beats up Shawn, and now they each trade chops in the corner. Each guy delivers 5 to the other, and Carlito whips Shawn into the corner, where Shawn avoids a charge, and Carlito comes off the 2nd rope with a springboard crossbody for 2. Shawn gives Carlito the flying forearm, and kips up, but his knee buckled. OMG, IT'S A SHEWT!!! No, it really isn't, but anyway, Shawn's knee's in pain, so he rolls out to the floor. Great selljob, to the point where you actually COULD wonder if it was real. Of course it's not, as you see when Carlito gives Shawn a baseball slide. And we go to a
commercial break.
We come back, and Carlito has a half crab applied on HBK. Carlito chopblocks HBK and tries to apply another leglock, but HBK kicks him away a few times, keeping Carlito from applying anything. Carlito misses a charge to the corner when HBK gets up, so HBK tries to climb to the top. Very, very slowly. Carlito crotches him, and goes up for a back suplex. He gets knocked off, so Shawn turns around, and gives him the flying elbow off the top. He didn't exactly jump to do it, either. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but his knee gives out when he tries to deliver SWEET CHIN MUSIC. A DDT by Carlito gets 2, and Shawn tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere, but he can't get it, crumpling to the canvas. Then Carlito tries this reverse DDT looking thing, and gets pushed into the referee, after which HBK gives Carlito SWEET CHIN MUSIC, for the win, at 13:44, 10:10 of which was shown, due to commercials.
Match Analysis: See, things like that are why main event wrestlers should have TWO finishers. It didn't make any sense for Shawn to finish the match with a superkick, after the legwork. It was still good though, and I'll rate it **3/4. In some of these young guy vs. old guy matches, I'll say who I thought should have gone over. Shawn definitely should have went over. FWIW, since I found it funny, when I quit watching the WWE altogether after Royal Rumble 2004, Orton was on RAW. I looked at the results for Survivor Series 05 the other day, and he was on Smackdown. Now he's back on RAW. Well then. I don't particularly care for that much switching from brand to brand. Yes, I know that had nothing to do with the last match.
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Chuck Palumbo's gift is from WM 17, the Undertaker vs. Triple H. I'm glad he chose this, but not really. I'm not even going to watch the match again, so it's a copy and paste job. Remember, this all started because HHH said he's beaten everyone, Taker came out and said no, then HHH destroyed his bike. Yada, yada, yada.
Blow-by-blow: This time, the dubbed music is the Ministry of Darkness music. I like. That's as far as I got before turning it off. They brawl on the outside, which is when I start the timer, when the action starts. Taker gets the best of it, and punches HHH who flies through the makeshift Spanish Announce Table. Just a regular table, in Dudley Boyz fashion. HHH with a high knee in the ring, and Taker no-sells it. He backdrops HHH, and clotheslines him. An Undertaker powerslam gets two, but he misses his elbow drop. Taker does a flying clothesline and goes up for OLD SCHOOL, but HHH armdrags him off the top. HHH with a neckbreaker that gets two, and two elbows to the head of Taker. HHH gets another neckbreaker, this time of the swinging variety, for a 2 count. HHH goes outside and grabs the SLEDGEHAMMER, as he gets this sick and twisted look on his face. That's good acting. The referee steals the SLEDGEHAMMER, and Taker slingshots HHH into the referee after a Pedigree attempt is reversed. Taker chokeslams HHH for a 2 count, and because it was ONLY a two count, Taker stomps on the ref and gives him an elbowdrop. He tosses HHH over the top rope and over to the floor, and HHH rams Taker's head into the steps. Taker backdrops HHH into the crowd, and they brawl up to the technical, usually off camera area. HHH hits Taker in the back and the head with a chair, and then wallops him all over the body with it. Taker chokeslams HHH "down to the floor," and I'll be honest, when I saw WM 17 on PPV, I thought HHH was dead. But, as we see on the replay, it was a well-cushioned fall. Taker jumps off the stage thing and elbowdrops HHH, and EMT's have brought out a stretcher to wheel HHH back with. Taker shoves them sumbitches out of the way, and the two men make their way back to the ring. Taker has the SLEDGEHAMMER now, and HHH gives him a nut-shot. HHH has the SLEDGEHAMMER, but Taker with a big boot. HHH goes for the TOMBSTONE but Taker reverses, and there's no referee to make the count. Taker "revives" the official, and picks HHH up for the LAST RIDE. HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER in mid-flight, and the cover gets 2. Taker's busted wide open, and HHH goes up for the 10 punch in the corner. Unfortunately for him, Taker gets the LAST RIDE (which I think looks visually better than almost all other powerbomb variations) for the 3 count at 18:58.
Match Analysis: Fun, and the overly gimmicked chokeslam at the technical area really didn't bother me. A good, dramatic match which made me think HHH would be the one to beat Taker at Mania the first time I watched it. Cool finish too. ***1/2. Remember, I changed the rating cause of what I thought of the Brock/Taker match at No Mercy '02.
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Gene Okerlund's gift to us, is Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel w/Bobby Heenan for the AWA Championship, and that took place on AWA Super Sunday, in 1983. The date in the description is NOT RIGHT.
Blow-by-blow: Bockwinkel stalls outside of the ring, then comes back in, but bails again. He's scared of the HULKSTER, BROTHER. Hogan gives him a shoulderblock, and pushes Bockwinkel into the turnbuckle. Hogan gives him 2 more shoulderblocks, and Bockwinkel bails to the outside, to meet with Bobby Heenan. Bockwinkel comes back in with a few knees to Hogan's gut, and he tries a backdrop, but Hogan kicks him in the gut, and delivers a few knees of his own to Bockwinkel. Hogan gives Bock a doublestomp, and a backbreaker for 2, as Bockwinkel's feet are on the bottom rope. Hogan charges into the corner and runs over Bock, but Bock comes back with a few punches, which only get 1. Bockwinkel applies a front facelock type choke, and keeps reapplying it whenever the referee makes him break the hold. Bockwinkel covers Hogan for 2 and tries a piledriver, but Hogan gives him a backdrop to get away from the hold. Bockwinkel misses a charge, so Hogan punches away at him, and Hogan's cover gets 2. Hogan gives him a clothesline and elbowdrop for 2, then a shoulderbreaker for 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel a kneelift and a powerslam for 2, but he's unable to DROP THE FUCKING LEG, DUDE. Bockwinkel gives him repeated shouldercharges in the corner and tries a scoop slam, but can't get it, so Hogan falls on top and gets 2. Hogan gives Bockwinkel another elbowdrop for 2, on a kickout that was screwed up by Bockwinkel. The ref just stopped counting, and Bockwinkel didn't kick out until a bit afterward. Hogan misses a charge to the corner, and Bockwinkel applies a sleeper. Hogan pulls him over his head and to the canvas, knocking Bockwinkel into the referee. Bockwinkel reapplies the sleeper, and Hogan rams him into the turnbuckle, where the ref is trying to recouperate. Ok, that's overkill. The crowd's shitting all over it, making matters worse. Now Hogan tosses Bockwinkel over the top rope. That's three different ways for a Dusty Finish in one match. Find another with that many. Hogan suplexes Bockwinkel in from the apron, and DROPS THE FUCKIN' LEG, for the 3 count and pinfall at 18:11. I love how "Real American" was edited in. It sounds like that was actually the music being played. Anyhow, Gene Okerlund's in the ring, to announce that AWA President Stanley Blackburn has reversed the decision, because Hogan threw Bockwinkel over the top rope. The crowd shits all over it, as they should.
Match Analysis: The finish ruined a good match. Plain and simple. However, this was a classic match. Everything was going good, until the finish. And honestly, the AWA deserved to die a painful death after doing something like that. The crowd was primed for a title change. **1/2. Down from ****, which is where it would have been without that AWFUL finish.
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Ok, when I said I'm saving the best for last, I meant that literally. As in, I'll be posting it at the end of the month! Hahaha, fooled you all. I'll post Steamboat/Flair from the Clash on New Year's Eve. There are multiple reasons for that, but namely because I want to end the year on a good note. I'll be posting more of these on the 8th.
Before I get to the redux my of idea for creating a playoff system and at the same time improve the bowl selection process, I'm going to make a little comment on Hawaii. Whenever I see someone say "Hawaii should be in the BCS Championship!", I just want to pat them on the head and say "Aww, aren't you cute? Yes you are, yes you are!" In the current structure of college football, which I agree is a joke, Hawaii has no business playing for the championship.
The purpose of the BCS is purely to match-up the two most deserving teams and nothing else. Hawaii is in no way shape or form one of the two most deserving teams in the country of playing for the Mythical National Championship and they are not on the same level of Boise State last year or Utah in 2004. I know it's a tired argument but it is always worth enforcing that they played what was the weakest schedule in the country. They played a total of three teams in the BCS Top 80 this year (Fresno State, Boise State, Washington) and all three game came at home. The best team they played on the road this year was Nevada who is ranked 83rd overall by the BCS computer rankings and only the Billingsley rankings had them in the Top 80 (78th). This team is going to get flat out killed in the Sugar Bowl by Georgia and I think it's going to be a beating so bad that it could hurt the cause of the non-BCS conferences.
And that being said, Hawaii deserves to play for a National Championship...if there was a playoff. Like Boise State last year, they didn't lose a game. It's the biggest hole in the "the regular season is a playoff" argument. If you didn't lose a game, how'd you get eliminated? I'm not going to retype my whole idea from last year but here is my idea in a nutshell: Eight teams, the first round is played on the homefield of the higher seeds, while the semi-finals and finals are played on the traditional BCS bowl sites. Automatic qualifiers would be the six BCS conference champions and any undefeated non-BCS conference team. If there are any available slots after that they will go to the highest ranked team(s) that did not win their conference championship.
Now there is an argument out there that we only need a four team playoff and I'll tell that has too many problems for it to ever to work. First off the BCS conferences will never go for it. Are you gonna tell me the SEC or Big Ten would ever agree to a playoff that could leave the possibility of their champ not having a chance to win a real National Championship? Also it doesn't solve the problem of the exclusion of the Boise State's and Hawaii's of the world as no non-BCS conference team has ever finished the season ranked in the BCS Top 4. An eight team playoff gives all the BCS conferences a piece of the pie while pleasing the non-BCS conferences and the general public of giving the opportunity for those "small" schools to play for a championship. An eight team playoff is logistically possible and doesn't over bloat the season too much.
So in my hypothetical scenario this year the Sugar Bowl is the site of the National Championship while the Orange and Rose Bowls would host the semi-final games. Here's how the playoff would set up:
Hawaii at Ohio State
Georgia at Oklahoma
West Virginia at LSU
USC at Virginia Tech
I don't know about you but I'll take the Pepsi Challenge of these games versus the sad slate of BCS bowl games we have this year.
Now last year as well I also suggested that the whole bowl selection process has to be overhauled. Now this is an issue that obviously doesn't get much attention because the issue of actually crowning a real National Champion in major college football takes precedence. We need to junk the preset conference bids which are inherently unfair. BYU for example, who has been completely overlooked because of Hawaii, is ranked in the Top 20 of the BCS for the second straight year but once again they have to settle for the Las Vegas Bowl rather than a bigger game. Now there are certainly years where the Mountain West champ may only deserve a bowl of that caliber but the preset bids ensure that those teams will never get a better bid, unless they go undefeated and get into the BCS. The preset bids also can give us lopsided, uninteresting match-ups. Michigan is ranked 32nd in the BCS yet they will play in the biggest non-BCS bowl against Florida who is ranked 12th. Anyone remember what Dennis Dixon and company did against Michigan earlier in the year? What you think Tim Tebow is going to do them? Also we have the lameness of bowls like the Hawaii Bowl or the New Mexico Bowl that can take the home school to play creating a road game for their opponent for what is technically supposed to be a neutral site.
My idea was/is to have an actual bowl committee that assigns similar ranked teams to appropriate bowl games. Now you wouldn't want to necessarily match-up #15 vs. #16 and #21 vs. #22 automatically because obviously there would be cases where you'd have two teams from the same conference or two teams that already played each other, which funny enough even with the preset bids we have two rematches this year (Las Vegas and Motor City). You also wouldn't want to have say a Pac-10 team play a Mountain West team in the Outback Bowl in Tampa nor would you want a Big East team to play an ACC team in the Holiday Bowl in San Diego. Location can be important for selling tickets which is part of the reason why we have preset bids, although it would been unavoidable in some cases to have bad location match-ups and hell the ACC sends teams to San Francisco and Boise. Another advantage to getting rid of the preset bids is it would create more variety in inter-conference match-ups instead the same conferences playing each other in the same bowls for several yars. Just for example, the Pac-10 and SEC haven't played each other in a bowl game since the 1989 Freedom Bowl (Washington State vs. Florida).
One other thing for the BCS bowl who is not part of the playoff, that being the Fiesta Bowl is this scenario, they would get the two highest ranked teams not in the playoff provided those two teams aren't in the same conference which this year would be the case with Missouri and Kansas. And just to make the conference presidents fat and happy those schools would get the same payout as the playoff schools.
So here's my "fantasy booking" of the bowl games. The order I placed the bowl games are based on how the current preset bids are handed out and not necessarily how I view each bowl. Last year I wanted only 20 bowl games outside the playoffs but I know there's no chance of ever significantly shrinking the number of bowls so this year I'm including them all. One provision I didn't think of last year is that after you get past the BCS Top 25 I'd only place teams based on their overall computer ranking as otherwise you could get coaches or former players (Harris Poll) giving their school a throw away 25th place vote to get their school a better bowl game.
Fiesta: Missouri vs. Arizona State
Capital One: Kansas vs. Florida
Cotton: Illinois vs. Clemson
Holiday: Boston College vs. BYU
Chick-fil-A: Tennessee vs. Wisconsin
Gator: Texas vs. South Florida
Outback: Virginia vs. Cincinnati
Sun: Auburn vs. Boise State
Champs Sports: Connecticut vs. Wake Forest
Music City: Oregon State vs. Michigan
Insight: Oregon vs. Arkansas
Meineke Car Care: Florida State vs. Kentucky
Las Vegas: Arkansas vs. Texas A&M
Liberty: Penn State vs. Mississippi State
Independence: Air Force vs. Georgia Tech
Emerald: Utah vs. UCLA
Motor City: UCF vs. Texas Tech
Humanitarian: Michigan State vs. South Carolina
GMAC: Maryland vs. Alabama
Texas: Rutgers vs. Oklahoma State
International: Colorado vs. Troy
Poinsettia: California vs. New Mexico
Armed Forces: Louisville vs. Purdue
PapaJohns.com: Fresno State vs. Indiana
Hawaii: Tulsa vs. Navy
New Orleans: TCU vs. Florida Atlantic
New Mexico: Central Michigan vs. East Carolina
11:59 p.m.
• Well there's something I don't see every day. After Baltimore gave up the game-winning touchdown to New England, some player threw a fit, and a ref's yellow penalty marker, into the stands. This resulted in two 15-yard fouls, allowing the Patriots to kick the ball from Baltimore's 35-yard line. Weird. Man, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Ravens locker room after that game. Stopping a fourth and one to seal the deal and their one coach called a time out before the snap.
9:30 p.m.
• So I haven’t been paying attention to politics as of late. Am I bracing for a Democrat takeover or disgusted with the way Republicans act? Who knows. But I just listened to the latest IOWA STRAW POLL results showing Hitlery in second and Huckabee doing better than expected. Of course, this straw poll is still two months away. Jesus Christ. I think I’m now starting to understand why only half this country votes.
• So there are some who consider Jennifer Love Hewitt fat?
This is something I don’t understand. On one hand we’re being told that girls everywhere are near-suicidal because they aren’t able to look like the beanpole models found on magazine covers. However, we are facing an obesity epidemic. So which is it? Either way, I don’t care. The big question is, where are these pictures?
I can see how some thin freaks wouldn't like this, but if this were in front of 99 percent of guys out there, they would hit it without hesitation. However, I must admit that what I find more appealing about JLH aren't her looks but rather her paycheck. Do you have any idea how much she made for her role in "The Tuxedo"?
mole started a thread about some con artist that tried to get their hands on a free GPS thingy that seems to have turned into yet another “retail horror stories” thread. Reading it made me reminisce about my days working in a grocery store deli/bakery back in college—the one and only job I’ve ever worked where interacting with dumbass customers is/was an integral part of the job—and, since I only bring interesting, hard-hitting content to this blog, here are a few of my fondest memories of that job, presented in no particular order, in a countdown format.
The year was 1999…
#3
The store was understaffed on an unusually busy day, so the courtesy booth clerk and assistant manager were forced into checker/bagging duty, making it our job in the bakery/deli to answer the store’s phone. I was the lucky one to answer this call:
“Good afternoon, thanks for calling Brookshire Bros. How can I help you today?”
“Uh, yeah…I’ve got a question for you.”
“Ok.”
“Are ya’ll still gonna sell gas after Y2K? ‘Cuz, uh, you know, I hear there won’t be gas and stuff like that.”
“Yes, sir, I imagine we will.”
“Oh. Well, ok. That’s good.”
*click*
#2
One week, there was an unadvertised sale of 8-piece fried chicken dinners for $2.99 (insert joke here). Or at least it was supposed to be unadvertised—when the weekly circular ad ran in the paper that Sunday, the 8-piece deal was listed. Problem was that, since it was supposed to be unadvertised, our manager had only ordered a bit more than our usual amount of raw chicken for the first part of the week.
I’m sure you can guess what happened. By early Tuesday afternoon, we ran out of chicken. This was bad news for me since I worked the evening shift.
So this one bluehair comes in around 5:00 or so and, of course, asks for the special. I launched into the same “I’m sorry; we don’t have any more chicken” speech I’d already given 35 times in the past 3 hours. This was incomprehensible to her.
“But your ad says you have chicken meals for $3.”
“I know, ma’am. But we are completely out of fried chicken.”
“So if you don’t sell chicken, why do have chicken on sale in the paper?”
“No, ma’am. We do sell fried chicken. We just don’t have any in stock at the moment.”
…
(points to the rotisserie chickens) “But isn’t that a chicken right there?”
“Yes ma’am, but that is a rotisserie chicken. It’s not on sale.”
“So which chicken is on sale then?”
“The fried chicken.”
“But I can’t buy any?”
“No, because we don’t have any in the store.”
…
“I don’t understand why I can’t buy that chicken right there.”
“You can buy it. But it’s not on sale.”
“I can’t buy that chicken for $3?”
“No.”
“Well, I just don’t think that’s right.”
And just like that she was gone.
#1
It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I had been mostly working the meat slicer that afternoon, but thanks to my coworker’s impeccable timing, he went on break just minutes before a big, angry guy came into storming over to our counter, carrying a bag of our fried chicken. He put the bag on the counter and said, “I need a refund.”
“Ok, sir. What’s the problem?”
“This chicken ain’t cooked, man. It’s all raw.”
“Alright, well, I apologize for that. I can definitely help you out. Would you just like another bag of chicken instead?”
“Nah…I just want my money back.”
“Ok. Give me just one moment.” I took the bag and looked inside to see if the chicken was actually raw. What did I find inside?
A pile of chicken bones, stripped almost completely clean.
After a double-take, I spoke up. “Sir, did you eat this chicken?”
“Well, yeah, man. How the hell do you think I know it ain’t cooked?”
“So…wait a minute. You ate this chicken, even though it was raw?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I can’t give you a refund.”
“Why not?”
“Because you ate the chicken!”
He protested again and asked that I call for the manager, which I was more than happy to do. The manager, who wasn’t all that sympathetic to customers’ problems to begin with, listened to my recap of the story, took one look in the bag and told the guy that not only would he not be receiving a refund but that he was not to order chicken or anything else from our bakery/deli or bother any of his store’s staff with anything else ever again. After bowing up and trying to look intimidating, the big guy declared this to be “shitty customer service” before leaving rather quietly.
I don't get along with everybody. Granted, not everybody here gets along. But that's how it is. Fortunately, there is always the ignore feature. Here's the list of people I don't care for.
Douchebag: Horrible in every way imaginable. An idiot who missed the point of the movie "Shoot 'Em Up" (it was supposed to be stupid, you simpleton), bragged about potentially ruining somebody's life (in what may be one of the worst moments in TSM history), makes horrible attempts at humor, and yet isn't called out for being an idiot in the WWE folder (which already has it's share of simpletons.)
Carlito Brigante: In spite of what some may say, he isn't the worst poster on TSM at the moment (Douchebag is), but he is the stupidest. He thinks I take the folder too seriously, threatened to beat people up in the MMA folder (he says it was a joke, and if it was, it was a stupid joke), once called Black Lushus an "Uncle Tom", claims I'm "all on his jock" (when you act like an idiot, you are going to be treated like one or called out), and now apparently impregnated a girl, but is too dumb to get a test to see if it really is his.
razazteca: Speaking of horrible attempts at humor, here's the king. He's made at least 30,000 posts, and hardly any of them are any good. Even some at the WWE folder don't like him.
VanHalen: He should be called VanCherone, because that was the worst part of Van Halen's career. From taking other peoples avatars, to being an annoying prick, to his pointless threads, he's a waste of space.
Marvinisalunatic: A man who orgasmically goes on about HD TV, constantly goes "Jericho looks gay in that LOL!!!", makes bad posts in the Sports folder, "WWE", and looks like a mishappen mutant from "The Hills Have Eyes"
C-Bacon: Is essentially a socialist weasel who approves Anarcho-Socialism, has no idea how kids should be taken care of, thinks everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about America is the result of imperialism, tends to invoke fascism, sucks Chomsky's cock, thinks kids should be allowed to do whatever they want, and is generally clueless. Thank God i have him on ignore.
I'm not sure quite how to open this up, so for once, I'm at a loss for words.
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The first match is Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr., for the AAA Welterweight Championship. Just seeing that matchup made me want to watch the show more. Juventud picks Rey up in a fireman's carry, and slams him to the mat. He gives him an armscissors rollup for 2, and Rey applies a headlock. Rey gives Juvi two armdrags, but Juvi kips up and gives him two of his own. Juvi chops Rey twice, and gives him a spinebuster for 2. Both men do this strange thing, where their legs are locked together and both bridge out to a headstand position, and they slap each other. Both men slap each other while standing up, but Rey misses a springboard moonsault. That looked a million times better than the Lionsault. A monkey flip by Rey only puts Juvi on the ring apron, and Rey goes up top, giving Juvi a rana to the floor. That whole sequence was awesome. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a somersault legdrop, but gets clotheslined quickly, to stop his rally. Rey gives him a flying headscissors, and a springboard hurricanrana, so Juvi bails. THEN, Rey goes out to the floor, with a TOPE CON HILO, landing on Juvi. Rey puts a chair around Juvi's neck, and rams him into two ringposts. Heh, Extreme Lucha Libre indeed. Juvi grabs a light bulb from a fan, but notices what it is, and puts it down before entering the ring. Light bulbs in wrestling are not something I'm a fan of, so good. Juvi comes in and gives Rey a dropkick, then a release german suplex. Juvi goes to the apron, and springboards in with a spinning heel kick. Wow. Juvi gives Rey a sitout powerbomb for 2, and a legdrop. He then gives Rey a press slam to a fallaway slam with a bridge, and that gets 2. Rey chops away, and Juvi misses a charge to the corner. I'm surprised I haven't mentioned this yet, but Juvi's mask is funny looking. Rey gives Juvi a rana for 2, and then another, and a powerslam. Rey goes up top, but Juvi crotches him and goes for Splash Mountain. I've seen very few matches where this move hits, as Rey counters it with a hurricanrana at 9:30, for the win. Not clipped, thank God. Well, I've only seen WCW do this finish 20 times. But this was before those, so I'll rate it accordingly. It's ***1/4. Had it been longer, it probably would have been just as awesome as Rey/Psychosis. This wasn't a spotfest, but to clarify, I rate those on their own scale. Which is whether or not I find it entertaining, accompanied with a regularly weighted star rating. I really, really want to see their 2 out of 3 falls match from March of that year, now.
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Lance Russell does his bullshit with the marcea hatt omves lal runoda, and then, CACTUS JACK(!) and Mikey Whipwreck make their first appearance of the show. Cactus has a Mr. Potato Head, and does a little reenactment of him losing his own ear in Germany against Vader. That was strange to watch. Cactus asks Mikey if he'd kill for him, and Mikey says, he guesses so. He says he and Mikey can face the Smokin' Gunns at Madison Square Garden if they win the match tonight. And, oh, his shirt. WWF'nF. Awesome.
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To follow up with that, it's the Eliminators vs. Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck w/Raven, for the ECW Tag Team Championships. Where's Jason? Mikey hates Raven, remember. So they both push each other during the ring introductions. Kronus and Mikey start, and there's a sign that says, Mikey: If Titan calls, please go sign. Ouch.
Kronus pushes Mikey to the ground twice, and applies a wristlock. Mikey reverses it to a headlock, and gives Kronus an armdrag. Kronus bails, but back in, Mikey gives Kronus a droptoehold, and a headlock. Kronus throws him off, and tags in Saturn, who gives Mikey a shoulderblock. Mikey gives Saturn an armdrag and a hiptoss, then takes him over with a headlock, prior to tagging in Cactus. Cactus gets on the mic, and tells Mikey to get his ass out of the ring if he's not going to help Cactus the way he wants him to. This character is fucking gold. GOLD, I tell you. Cactus gives Saturn a headbutt and an elbow, then a big boot and legdrop, not Hogan style, for 2. Mikey tags in, but won't team up with Cactus for a move, so Saturn superkicks Mikey. He gives Mikey a RELEASE slingshot back suplex, forcing Mikey to land on his head. Holy fuck. See though, this is what I was saying about headdrops at the Pit. While I may like this, and it's within the context of the match...it is HIGHLY unnecessary. Kronus tags in, and both he and Saturn give Mikey a double STO. Kronus puts Mikey in the corner, and gives him a handspring back elbow. It looked just as good as the one Muta uses, maybe even better. No lie. I'm a believer in, the original is not always the best. Kronus goes to the chinlock, which certainly is not the best. It doesn't last long, though, as he powerbombs Mikey, while Saturn comes off the top with a kneedrop. Saturn gives Mikey a clothesline for 2 as he tags in, but tags in Kronus again, awfully quick. They do a sidesuplex with a legdrop type thing, but Cactus saves Mikey at the count of 2. Kronus gives Mikey an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, and Cactus finally gets the hot tag, after Mikey makes his way to the corner. He jumps on Saturn, who's draped along the 2nd rope, and gives Kronus the repeated forearms in the corner. Cactus goes to the apron after giving Kronus the CACTUS CLOTHESLINE!!!! and springboards to the floor, giving Kronus a back elbow which drives Kronus into the guardrail. Awesome. Cactus comes back in and gives Saturn a piledriver, and grabs a bottle from under the ring. He breaks it, and goes to stab Saturn with it. However, Mikey won't let him use it. Mikey dropkicks Cactus, but Saturn's unable to use the bottle too, as Mikey gives him a superkick. I love the, "he's against both sides" thing Mikey has goin' on. Mikey clotheslines both Eliminators and goes up top, giving Saturn a rana on the way down. He hits Kronus with a boot, but gets Totally Eliminated. I've watched quite a bit of ECW, and I just now noticed how much I love that finishing move. It's so fucking brilliant. It can't be understated. I'd say that a current team should rip it off, but that's blatant gimmick imitation. Even I can't condone that, although I said the original isn't always the best. But there's no topping that. The Eliminators pick up the pinfall and the tag titles, at 12:10.
Raven attacks Mikey right after the pinfall, but Cactus pushes Raven away. SWERVE!!! as Cactus starts beating up Mikey. Typical ECW, but this is when you didn't really expect it, but at the same time you did, so it was ok. Not the, "oh fuck, I saw this coming from a mile away and it fucking sucked so hard, bro, even a mark would see that shit" kind of SWERVE you see now. Anyway, Russo couldn't write something as good as this show if he dreamed. Yeah, I said it. Raven hits Mikey with a plastic folding chair, and Cactus gives him the Double Arm DDT on the chair. No Bang, Bang. I've never seen this, and it's already my favorite Foley moment of all. He went from sometimes funny with Mikey to dead ass serious in a matter of seconds. I want to rate the match and post match ***1/2, so I will. Great stuff.
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We clip away, and Joey Styles is in the ring with the Eliminators. Francine shows up, and plays nice with them. Unfortunately, her New York-ish accent is too strong for me to take it all that seriously. Now the Pitbulls come to the ring, and hang Saturn with their chain. OH MY GOD, IT WAS A SETUP. Kronus gets SUPERBOMBED, and Francine grabs a pair of scissors. They cut off Saturn's hair, as the crowd goes into raptures, and chants E-C Dub. Well, that was certainly a cool moment.
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It's multiple promo time, as we go to the end of the show. The Gangstas want the Eliminators, it's as simple as that. Mustafa's laugh is great. Tommy Dreamer has a melting candle, and the wax is burning onto his hands. It's supposed to signify the desire he has. Wow. Cactus talks about Mikey, and how Mikey doesn't have an desire. Mikey drug him down, so he had to handle the situation his way. He says Vince told him to bring Mikey, but since he's not coming, Cactus will have to slap him like he was his own child.
Ok, time out. That was one of the best promos I've ever seen. EVER.
Shane Douglas makes an appearance and doesn't say anything, but...JT FUCKING SMITH! I listen to ah, Dean Martin, ah. Bill Alfonso and Taz follow, I don't really need to describe what they said. Fonz rambles like a nutcase, and Taz tells you how he's going to kick your ass. To the Pitbulls, and they'll get the Tag Titles. The Gangstas again, and they're getting the Eliminators. Beulah says something that doesn't matter much. Raven talks about the one thing in his life that matters...he doesn't say what it is, but he's talking about that ECW Title. Beulah again, more that doesn't matter. Scorpio loves women, and right now his is the ECW TV Title, but now that he has that, all the ho's is for 2 Cold (that was a great one too). Pitbulls...but we quickly cut to Saturn cutting off the rest of his own hair. He doesn't care about his hair. He doesn't care about being hung via the chain. All he cares about is the gold.....end show.
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Rating: Excellent. An outstanding television show. A complete 180 from the last ECW show. The last one was everything I hated about ECW. This one was everything I loved about it. Loved that the matches were unedited, and the interview roll at the end was great too. They ran the show the night before, so they certainly rushed to get this show out. It was still great.
Best Segment: Cactus' promos. Awesome stuff.
Worst Segment: Beulah's promos. I just didn't care.
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The Boston show is next. I haven't watched it yet, but I'm mildly interested. Wait, scratch that. Not doing it, cause it'll probably suck and I don't want to waste paper taking notes. Plus, there's quite a bit of fastforward material, and it's just a non-MSG house show. MSG shows are the ones that matter.
Need to do this, and I didn't watch it last night because I was in an awful mood. I probably won't review the Jesse Ventura stuff at all, because nothing catches my eye.
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The first match on the show, is a non-title match, between the Young Stallions and The Hart Foundation (WWF Tag Team Champions) w/Danny Davis and Jimmy Hart. If there's a non-title match, it's usually a clue something's up. Mr. T comes to the ring for some reason, which we'll see at the end of the match. He and Davis stare down, until the match begins. Bret gives Powers a backbreaker, then rams his head into the foot of Neidhart. Danny Davis gives us a promo, inside of a box that pops up on the upper left corner, and Bret gives Powers an elbow from the 2nd rope, during a Neidhart backbreaker. Bret gives Powers a suplex, and tags in Neidhart, who slams Powers, then tags Bret back in. Roma tags in and dropkicks both members of the Hart Foundation, then rams Neidhart into Bret. Unfortunately, Roma charges into the buckle, but gets dropped to the canvas, and rolled up by Bret as Bret's feet are on the ropes, leading to the 3 count at 2:56. HOWEVER, MR. T comes down the aisle, and convenes with the referee, who reverses the decision as a result of Bret's cheating. Hence the non-title stipulation, see. *1/4. Kinda dumb.
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Killer Khan vs. Lanny Poffo is joined in progress, unfortunately. I like Poffo. Khan finishes the match with a kneedrop off the top rope. No mist, this time.
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Heenan and Monsoon trade a few jokes about the uvula...you can look it up if you want.
Special Report with Craig DeGeorge about Bam Bam Bigelow...Jesse Ventura is with Jimmy Hart, and Hart is out of the running for Bigelow. Classy Freddie Blassie pops up on the screen, and basically says, he wouldn't want to manage Bigelow either.
Now, a clip of Don Muraco and Cowboy Bob Orton fighting after a match, they brawl into the crowd and the clip cuts away.
WWF Magazine time, and it's about the One Man Gang. Jack Tunney put him on probation for a year after Gang attacked a whole bunch of jobbers and front suplexed them all, so Slick has a bit to say about that. He really doesn't care.
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The next match is Outlaw Ron Bass w/Miss Betsy vs. Sonny Rogers. Miss Betsy, his whip, is really loud. Bass gives Rogers a back elbow, elbowdrop and hiptoss, then press slams him onto the top rope. Bass chokes him, then gives Rogers a right to the face. A clothesline and facebuster finish for Bass at 1:59. Haven't seen a squash in a while, so it's welcome. 1/2*.
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Gene Okerlund's with Ted DiBiase and Virgil, DiBiase says he's going for the World Title, then gives Okerlund money for a new tie. Heh.
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It's Koko B. Ware vs. Nikolai Volkoff from the Spectrum next. Oh no, I have to listen to Dick Graham. Volkoff's upset at the USA chanting, and Koko avoids a charge to the corner. Volkoff gives Koko a choke toss, but misses another charge, and Koko goes to work on Volkoff's left arm. Koko gives Volkoff an armwringer, and headbutts him. Volkoff dumps Koko though, and gives him a knee to the face to keep him on the outside. Then Volkoff does a cartwheel, which makes no sense, given Koko's earlier arm work. Idiotic. We go to a
commercial break
and come back with Koko coming back into the ring with a sunset flip, for 2. A Volkoff headbutt does nothing, so Koko returns the favor for 2. Volkoff applies a headvice, and then tries a scoop slam, but Koko goes through and winds up behind Volkoff, then rolls up Volkoff for 2. Koko catches Volkoff trying to give him a big boot, and gives Volkoff an atomic drop for 2. Volkoff misses a charge and gets sat on by Koko, and then Koko goes up for a fistdrop that gets 2. Koko rams Volkoff's head into the buckle after a double collision, but misses a charge, and Volkoff gives him a double underhook suplex for 2. He gives Koko a backbreaker, but during the cover, Koko's foot is on the bottom rope. Koko hits Volkoff a few times and goes up top, giving him a missile dropkick for the win at 12:10 (my time, with the Heenan and Monsoon banter included). 3/4*, and the cartwheel was a gigantic WTF moment.
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Sir Oliver Humperdink makes his debut and talks a lot of trash about Bobby Heenan, so Heenan comes out to the stage. And Humperdink pushes him off! Wow. Heenan slipped when hitting the ground, and would have been badly injured had he not regained his balance. Strange debut, to say the least.
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George the Animal Steele is facing Cowboy Bob Orton next, in what will likely be a strange matchup. Lanny Poffo and Don Muraco are on commentary. WHAT? Steele chases Orton out of the ring, and when Orton comes back in, Steele rams Orton's head into the turnbuckle. Orton gives Steele a backbreaker, then goes up top for a pump splash, which gets 2. Steele bites Orton, but gets clotheslined over the top. Steele pulls Orton to the floor, but Orton rams his head into the table that the ringbell sits on. Steele throws a chair into the ring and bites Orton, then grabs another chair, and hits Orton with it. He misses on his next swing, and both men brawl to the back, at 3:02. That said, the decision is that Bob Orton wins by DQ, I guess the referee was too scared to disqualify Steele, though. 1/2*. Steele bites the turnbuckle, when he comes back to the ring. That's no surprise.
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Bobby Heenan's gushing about this guy named Ravishing Rick Rude, well, he's facing Scott Casey. Casey and Brady Boone look so alike that Alfred calls Casey, "Boone," once during the match. Rude goes through the whole routine where he takes his robe off, and this being Philadelphia, the crowd actually likes it. Go figure. Casey gives Rude an armdrag and a hiptoss, so Rude stalls. Rude gets armdragged and slammed again, and gets crossbodied for 2. Rude bails and comes back in, but we go to a
commercial break
and come back with an armwringer applied on Rude. Casey misses a charge to the corner, and Rude gives Casey a suplex, which gets 1. It got one because Rude wasn't done with Casey, see. Rude slams Casey and goes up top, giving him an ugly fistdrop that didn't even hit Casey, for 2. Rude goes to the chinlock, but doesn't hold it for long, and gives Casey a kneelift and double stomp. Rude then poses, and gives Casey a chestbreaker. He poses somemore, and applies a sleeper after another chinlock. Casey reverses it and gives Rude a backdrop, but gets caught with a knee by Rude and given a slingshot suplex by Rude, for the pinfall at 11:44. **.
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The last match, finally, is the Junkyard Dog vs. the One Man Gang w/Slick. I actually like the Gang, so I'll enjoy this. Jake Roberts and Muraco are on commentary. What the fuck. They slug it out, and JYD rams OMG to the buckle. The battle of three letter acronyms!!! JYD clotheslines him and applies a hammerlock, but OMG rams him into the turnbuckle. OMG's punches to the head of JYD do nothing, so JYD gives him an armwringer which takes him to the ground, and gives him a legdrop. OMG beats up JYD in the corner, but JYD comes back with a headbutt. Then JYD GETS ON ALL FOURS, and delivers multiple headbutts to OMG. Slick gets on the apron and gives Gang the cane, but both JYD and OMG fight over it, and in the process, hit the referee with it, disqualifying both men at 6:25. JYD takes control of the cane, and hits OMG with it, knocking him out of the ring. He tries to break the cane, but the referee steals it, and gives it back to Slick. I liked that much more than I probably should have, so *1/4.
That's the end of the show, which like the last match, I liked more than I should have.
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Rating: Decent. Have to repost the different rating scale (Excellent, great, good, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible). Yeah, decent. I enjoyed the segments in the middle of the show. Had to get rid of above-average, it didn't make much sense.
Best Segment: Ted DiBiase giving Gene Okerlund money for a new tie. It was har-har-har time.
Worst Segment: Young Stallions vs. the Hart Foundation. While the match was fine, I loathe, LOATHE MR. T's involvement, and non-title matches. Especially when the reason was as obvious as this.
Recapping reactions makes no sense, in this case.
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I'm going to do something and have it up tomorrow, but I'm not sure yet. NWA or ECW, because I want to knock out an easy review. Then the Boston show will be up on Tuesday.
(#) = previous
1. LSU 11-2 (4)
2. Georgia 10-2 (3)
3. Ohio State 11-1 (5)
4. Virginia Tech 11-2 (7)
5. Oklahoma 11-2 (10)
6. Missouri 11-2 (2)
7. Kansas 11-1 (6)
8. Florida 9-3 (9)
9. West Virginia 10-2 (1)
10. USC 10-2 (11)
11. Hawaii 12-0 (12)
12. Arizona State 10-2 (14)
13. Cincinnati 9-3 (15)
14. Boston College 10-3 (9)
15. Clemson 9-3 (16)
16. Tennessee 9-4 (13)
17. Auburn 8-4 (17)
18. Illinois 9-3 (18)
19. Virgina 9-3 (19)
20. Connecticut 9-3 (20)
21. South Florida 9-3 (21)
22. Arkansas 8-4 (22)
23. Boise State 10-2 (24)
24. Wisconsin 9-3 (25)
25. Texas 9-3 (NR)
others - Texas Tech 8-4 (NR), BYU 10-2 (NR), Miss St 7-5 (NR), Kentucky 7-5 (NR), Central Florida 9-3 (NR)
This doesn't mean I would have LSU and Georgia for a national championship game. I'm all about playoffs, so a 16 team playoff would then take place. All conference champs get automatic bids. At-Large bids are given to the highest ranked teams that didn't win their conference. Tournament seeding would be based off ranking system, in this case mine. Any mid-major team that doesn't win their conference or Independent team, that finishes in the top 15, or is ranked higher than any of the major conference champions will be given an At-Large bid. At-Large teams cannot be given one of the top 4 seeds in the tournament, no matter their final ranking. Home Field advantage would be determined by tournament seeding with the national championship game being held on a neutral site.
Bracket #1
#1 LSU(SEC Champion)
vs
#8 Central Michigan(MAC Champion)
#4 Florida(At-Large)
vs
#5 West Virginia(Big East Champion)
#3 Missouri(At-Large)
vs
#6 Hawaii(WAC Champion)
#2 Oklahoma(Big 12 Champion)
vs
#7 BYU (MWAC Champion)
Bracket #2
#1 Ohio State(Big Ten Champion)
vs
#8 Florida Atlantic (Sun Belt Champion)
#4 Kansas(At-Large)
vs
#5 USC(Pac 10 Champion)
#3 Georgia(At-Large)
vs
#6 Arizona State(At-Large)
#2 Virginia Tech(ACC Champion)
vs
#7 Central Florida (Conf-USA Champion)
11:15 p.m.
• Let's see, you could have (see my 1 p.m. entry below for context)...
Ohio State v. USC in the Rose Bowl
West Virginia v. Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl
Hawaii v. Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl
LSU v. Georgia (or Missouri if you'd like) in the Sugar Bowl
Then there would be two semi-final games by the winners of the above-mentioned matchups and then finally a title contest between the final two standing.
Or you could just have LSU v. Ohio State. Yeah, that'll work.
1 p.m.
• Well, it's been a GREAT college football season, and since the anti-playoff queerbos say that a postseason isn't needed for Division 1A college football because the regular seaon is like one big playoff system, then hats off to this year's champion.
The 11-0 University of Hawaii Whatever-They're-Called
I admit it -- I know jack shit about college football. However, I did hear once that there are six BcS conferences. Why can't they just have the champs from each of these six conferences, give a slot to a non-conference team and another bid to an at-large team and have an eight-team playoff? The first round could be your hippie bowl games.
Rose Bowl: Big 10 champ vs. Pac 10 champ.
Orange Bowl: Big East vs. ACC champ.
Fiesta Bowl: Non BcS team vs. Big 12 champ.
Sugar Bowl: SEC champ vs. At large team.
Want to add a few more at-large teams or smaller conference champs? Fine. I don't care. As I said above, I know nothing about college football (among other things). I just spent 5 minutes searching Wikipedia and came up with a better way to determine a champion in big-time college football than what's being done now.
9:45 p.m.
• So last night I went to Red Robin for the first time ever. It opened up a year or so ago at the snazzy new Wal-Mart complex that replaced the dirt mall which was there. Did I say “dirt mall”? I meant “place of commerce that was just another victim to the EVIL Wal-Mart machine.” Anyway, this Robin place was one of those locations that the better half and I talked about going to one of these days but never got around to it. Until last night. Uh, it sells burgers. It has “bottomless fries,” although they Jew you on basket size so a second serving of these things is like one regular serving at any other chain eatery. I’ve heard stories about how great there burgers were, and being a burger guy I was looking forward to this saturated fat goodness. Eh, it’s a burger. No big deal. The real highlight though came with the white trash sitting in the booth across from us.
OK, people. If you are going to a restaurant for the first time, don’t be surprised if the food you order isn’t quite to your liking. I’m not saying to expect raw ground meat or burnt potato wedges. However, if the BREADING to your ONION RINGS wasn’t what you expected, don’t BITCH about it to the MANAGER and cause a scene. Jesus Christ. How about saying, “Excuse me, this is the first time I have eaten here and these onion rings aren’t what I expected. Would it be possible if you could please give me an order of fries instead?” Seeing how I hate onions, I didn’t look to see if this side dish was an extra charge or if it was a suitable substitute for the “bottomless” fries. But even if these things were an extra side dish, I’m sure these places understand the pitfalls of visiting an eatery for the first time and would have gladly removed this purchase from you bill. What I love about white trash like this is that they have all these lofty standards when they go out to eat at laymen restaurants, but I bet when they nuke their hot dogs at home that these items are either half-cooked or exploded all in the microwave. For the record, my crack-whore sister-in-law and out-of-control niece-in-law are two cretins that throw shit-fits at these places. Yeah, you shoot heroin into your veins, but you’ll have some cook in the back of Texas Roadhouse re-cook your steak three times because it was too undercooked. Guess what I, a first-time Red Robin customer, did when I got seated? I ordered something I knew I would like and kept the menu to look over while my burger was being made so I could get a better idea of what is available the next time I stop by.
Oh, and last night I also got fitted for two suit outfits at some tailor place that was having an uber-sale. Jacket, pants, shirt, tie: $199, plus $25 for tailoring adjustments. Holy fuck was this a great deal. What made me laugh was when the tailor lady was asking me what colors I preferred. I don’t know. I’m a guy. I wear black and white. You know why? You can’t go wrong with black and white. You don’t have to fret about the hue of a yellow-and-blue tie conflicting with a darkish blue sport coat. Hell, I don’t even know if this is an acceptable color combination to start out with. Know what I do? I wear a black jacket and white shirt. Well I ended up getting a gray suit and a black suit with some shirt and tie combinations that I already forgot what they looked like. I think this lady thought I was unemployed because when she asked what the occasion was for these outfits I said “job interview.” Later on when I talked with Mrs. kkk about getting a second outfit, the lady mentioned that they have a layaway plan. She also made a big deal about finding the right look for me to get this job I’m interviewing for. I had to let her know that if I don’t get this job, it sure as heck won’t be because of my wardrobe.
After the wardrobe purchase we bought some dry cat food for the kids. But this isn’t the regular Jew cat food. This is the super-special diet mix. Well, this stuff was on sale half off so we bought the last two bags of "indoor formula" that was on the shelf." The better half also bought some 100-screwdriver bit sale at Lowe’s for her dad and also for herself. This was also on sale, so all in all, especially after adding a trip to Sam's Club for essentials, it was a good night for saving.
Much like Milky before me, I shall answer everything truthfully. I understand that I am nowhere near to being as established as he's, so this is going to be a blog rather than a thread. Don't be scared lesser known posters!
Van Halen, here's your chance to glean some wisdom.
Robb Nen - Closer
Texas Rangers 1993
Florida Marlins 1993-1997
San Francisco Giants 1998-2002
Awards
None
All-Star Selections: 3 (1998, 1999, 2002)
League Leader
2001: Saves
Career Ranks
Saves: 15th
Best Performance
October 26, 1997 - Cleveland at Florida
In Game 7 of the 1997 World Series, with the Marlins down a run he comes into the top of the 9th with runners at the corners and one out and gets the Marlins out of the jam who then tie the game in the bottom of the inning. He proceeds to strikeout the side in the 10th (Omar Vizquel, Manny Ramirez, David Justice) as the Marlins win the Series in the 11th.
Hall of Fame Stats
Black Ink: Pitching - 3 (541) (Average HOFer ≈ 40)
Gray Ink: Pitching - 24 (925) (Average HOFer ≈ 185)
HOF Standards: Pitching - 15.0 (471) (Average HOFer ≈ 50)
HOF Monitor: Pitching - 92.0 (112) (Likely HOFer > 100)
Similar Pitchers in HOF: 1 (Bruce Sutter)
Other Similar Pitchers: John Wetteland, Tom Henke, Troy Percival, Jeff Montgomery, Todd Worrell, Armando Benitez, Rod Beck, Ugueth Urbina, Jason Isringhausen
Year-by-Year Win Shares & Wins Above Replacement Level (WARP3)
1993: 0/-0.2
1994: 11/5.4
1995: 8/4.4
1996: 19/6.4
1997: 11/4.1
1998: 19/8.9
1999: 8/4.1
2000: 15/7.5
2001: 14/6.3
2002: 15/7.0
Career Win Shares: 120
Caeer WARP3: 53.9
My Stupid Opinion
Anyone else feeling old by the fact that someone who debuted in 1993 is already on a HOF ballot? Nen's career was cut short by a torn rotator cuff and his last appearance happened to come in the 2002 World Series. He was similar to undeserving HOF closer Bruce Sutter in that they both had short careers but were dominate in their roles while they were active. The big difference between the two is Sutter pitched in the pre-Dennis Eckersley era of closers as he threw 327 1/3 more innings than Nen in only 18 more games pitched. Given that HOF voters are more open to closers getting in now and the "heroic" nature of him pitching in the '02 World Series with his shoulder being mush I wouldn't be surprised if he received the necessary 5% to stay on the ballot.
So sfaJill's company's Chirstmas Holiday Party was last night at the fabulous Houstonian Hotel. This is the third one of these things that we've attended (although this is the first one at her new company) and I absolutely hate them because, for me, it's four hours of standing faithfully by her side, making small talk and cracking terrible jokes to a bunch people I've either never met or only see once a year at these parties (and thus don't remember their names anyway). Not exactly a good situation for me, given my general lack of ability to socialize.
Toss in the guarded tension in the air (as in people always seem to be reluctant to cut loose and say and act they way they really want to out of fear of harming their career by offending either the boss or one of the affirmative action hires) and the usual office cliques still being in effect and it's usually a pretty awkward situation. Last night's gathering also featured a balcony where all the smokers spent most of their time and, since I am allergic to cigarette smoke, sfaJill and I spent a lot of time sitting at our table entertaining each other because she was afraid to leave me by myself out of fear I would have a totally miserable time (as opposed to the semi-miserable time I ended up having).
The comedy highlight of the nights were these:
- The little DJ they hired. Dude had so many problems with songs either cutting off or skipping uncontrollably that, at one point, one of the drunk guys in the back (it was open bar) yelled, "Great job with the music man! YOU ROCK!" I do have to give the DJ a little credit though--any guy that can seamlessly merge "Stayin' Alive" into George Strait's "I Cross My Heart" has to have some mad skillz.
- sfaJill's boss. Dude is from deep Louisiana Cajun country, which is almost enough entertainment by itself. However, last night, he was wielding a camera and insisted on taking several pictures of damn near everyone in the place, including a couple with me, sfaJill, and...a couple of the other office females sitting my lap. Maybe you had to be there, but the way he basically ordered them all to just have a seat and smile big while sfaJill just sat there with a WTF look on her face was priceless.
Oh well. At least that's over for another year. Now I just have to get through another party next Saturday night, this time at the home of one of her coworkers. I've been told to be ready for a few "party games." Oh, God...
On Dec. 22, my company is hosting their first "official" company Christmas party in nine years at the Hilton downtown. Fortunately, we won't be attending. We have to go to Kansas City for sfaJill's cousin's wedding, which is the same night. Oh, damn the luck. sfaJill is really annoyed by this though, because I've been at my place of employment for over six years now and, because I do NOT hang out with any of them outside of work, the only time she's ever met any of my coworkers was back in September at my Mom's funeral when four of them showed up (and that wasn't exactly a social occassion). She claims she is dying to meet those people because she can "finally put a face to the names you come home bitching about" but I think she just wants to see if I have any hot female coworkers she can get jealous about. I don't know. I told her it's just as well we have to be in KC that night because I probably wouldn't go to the party anyway.
1976 vs. 2008
The Phillies have not seen many good teams over their history. Their greatest team is probably the 1976 squad. That team won 101 games, one of only two Phillies teams to do so. Unfortunately that Phillies team ran into a buzzsaw called the Big Red Machine, and thus failed to win the National League pennant. A Phillies player recently surmised that the Phils could win 100 games next season. If that happens, the 2008 Phillies could rank as the greatest in franchise history. So how do they stack up against the 1976 team? I thought it might be fun to take a look.
Catcher: Bob Boone vs. Carlos Ruiz
Bob Boone in the late '70s was a good defensive catcher who added some offensive contributions as well. Boone in 1976 saw his first good season at the plate, and he would follow up with three more. Carlos Ruiz is merely adequate at this point in his career. Boone made the All-Star team in '76
Advantage: 1976
First Base: Dick Allen vs. Ryan Howard
Allen was perhaps one of the most controversial baseball players of all time. An elite talent who constantly feuded with teammates and the press. Howard is immensely likeable. Allen suffered injuries late in his career and missed some time. Ryan Howard is about two seasons away from becoming the team's franchise first baseman.
Advantage: 2008
Second Base: Dave Cash vs. Chase Utley
Of course the nod goes to Chase Utley, so let me say a few words in favor of Cash. He spent three years with the Phillies, hit for good averages but no power. The raw numbers are unimpressive. Cash however made the All-Star team all three years. Of the twelve NL second baseman, he was second or third along with Davey Lopes. (Joe Morgan of course ranks first.) So when we pass over Cash, remember that he was a very good player.
Advantage: 2008
Shortstop: Larry F. Bowa vs. Jimmy Rollins
Larry Bowa got by on gamesmanship. He had some fielding ability and was a good baserunner. He could not hit much, even relative to a typical National League shortstop. Somehow Bowa received MVP votes for his efforts. Jimmy Rollins of course just won the MVP. Can't argue with that.
Advantage: 2008
Third Base: Mike Schmidt vs. Wes Helms
Next.
Advantage: 1976
Left Field: Greg Luzinski vs. Pat Burrell
This is a real interesting comparison. Both were power sluggers with little to offer in either speed or fielding. Burrell is a better athlete. Luzinski at this point was in the midst of a run of four consecutive top-ten MVP finishes. Burrell has one top-ten to his credit.
Advantage: 1976
Center Field: Garry Maddox vs. Shane Victorino
Maddox won eight gold gloves in a row beginning in 1975. In '76, he hit .330 with 29 stolen bases. For a '70s center fielder, that is a superstar. Victorino can field with the best of them. Maddox's OPS+'s at this point however were much higher. Another clear edge.
Advantage: 1976
Right Field: Jay Johnstone vs. Jayson Werth
Play Jay every day! Johnstone was a fourth outfielder who played so well that he forced himself into a starting role. Werth did much the same thing last season. Johnstone's ability to stay healthy gives him the edge here. You may remember him by the way from his role in Naked Gun. He is the batter Leslie Nielsen calls out in dramatic fashion.
Advantage: 1976
Bench: Tim McCarver/Bobby Tolan/Ollie Brown/Jerry Martin/Tom Hutton vs. Chris Coste/Greg Dobbs/Eric Bruntlett/T.J. Bohn/Chris Snelling
Bobby Tolan and “Downtown” Ollie Brown were mainly hitters. Tolan and Tom Hutton filled in for first baseman Dick Allen when necessary. Jerry Martin was a fifth outfielder type, while Tim McCarver covered catching duties. McCarver sat behind the plate when Steve Carlton pitched. The '76 club rarely used a utility infielder. The 2008 bench looks unimpressive at the moment. The problem with the modern bench is that the increased pitching staffs have eliminated roles for extra hitters.
Advantage: 1976
Ace Starter: Steve Carlton vs. Cole Hamels
Is Carlton over Hamels really that clear? Carlton from 1974-76 went 51-34, with ERA+ figures of 117, 105 and 114. Hamels over the last two years put up a 115 and 134. Carlton would explode into an all-time great in 1977, winning the first of three more Cy Young awards. In 1976 though, Carlton was not at that level. Cole Hamels is clearly a better pitcher. The only question is how much credit do you give Carlton for durability? Thirteen pitchers compiled more innings than Carlton over that 1974-76 stretch, so he was not an anomaly of his time.
Advantage: 2008
Rotation: Jim Kaat/Jim Lonborg/Larry Christenson/Tom Underwood vs. Brett Myers/Jamie Moyer/Kyle Kendrick/Adam Eaton
Myers put up ERA+'s of 118 and 120 before moving into the bullpen for 2007. Jim Kaat won 20 games in both 1974 and '75 with superior ERAs. He fell off in 1976. Lonborg vs. Moyer is interesting, both had mixes of good and bad seasons. Lonborg from 1974-76 went 43-29. Moyer over the last three years is 38-33, but that includes a 6-12 stretch with a bad Mariners club last year.
Christenson and Kyle Kendrick were both 22 year old starters. Christenson pitched 168.7 innings, gave up 8 home runs, 42 walks and 54 strikeouts. Kendrick pitched 121 innings, 16 home runs, 25 walks and 49 strikeouts. Kendrick had a much better ERA. Tom Underwood was another 22 year old. He had some up and down seasons but none as bad as Eaton's 2007. Really, this one is too close to call for my comfort.
Advantage: Push.
Bullpen: Ron Reed/Gene Garber/Tug McGraw/Ron Schueler/Wayne Twitchell vs. Brad Lidge/Tom Gordon/J.C. Romero/Ryan Madson/Francisco Rosario
Lidge at his peak is an elite pitcher, but neither of his last two seasons tops Ron Reed in 1976-77. Garber had a better season in '76 than Gordon last year, but Gordon's established performance gives him the edge there. McGraw over Romero is not as clear-cut as you might think. McGraw's ERA+ from 1972-76: 197, 94, 86, 126, 143. Romero from 2003-07: 91, 135, 128, 68, 243. Ron Schueler was a mediocre pitcher enjoying a fluke year, Madson is better. Ditto Wayne Twitchell. One reliever pitched a single additional game for the '76 club. The 2008 team looks bad due to lack of depth, but the '76 Phillies literally had nothing.
Advantage: 2008
The 1976 Phillies won 101 again in 1977. If the 2008 club is to match up with that standard, they have their work cut out for them. The 1976 club had more hitting depth, the 2008 Phils have deeper pitching and a historically good infield. I hope the Phillies can make a run at 100 wins though. The team has lacked an all-time great season, and this is a great shot with their entire core firmly in their prime.
11:45 p.m.
I appreciate the effort, but next time can you wait until the Big Cheese stops by first?
Then again, maybe this guy is another left-wing spy.
I remember a while back reading something on the Media Research Center's website about some people quoted in the LEFTWINGMAINSTREAMLIBERALPRESS as regular citizens but were actually Democrat activists. If I ever feel motivated, I might see if I can find these stories.
10 p.m.
• Time for the rest of this week's pickkks.
Atlanta @ St. Louis (4.5)
Yay. St. Louis is on a hot streak of sorts, which of course now means they'll blow one. Whatever. I'm still a sucker.
Buffalo @ Washington (5.5)
Hmm, will this be one of those "win for the dead guy" games? Sure. I'm still a sucker. Oh, and count me in as someone who doesn't think Sean Taylor's death was was a random act of violence.
Detroit @ Minnesota (3.5)
Ha. I laugh when I think back to when some people took the Lions as playoff contenders. Now they're underdogs at Minnesota. Ha. I'm taking them. Why?
Houston @ Tennessee (4.5)
Hmm, Young hasn't been playing good as of late. I'll guess that the Titans are one of those "falter during the final stretch teams" for this season.
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis (6.5)
I'm hoping the Colts still have some rust from the last few weeks. Hey, even Atlanta was up on them by double digits at one point on Thanksgiving.
N.Y. Jets @ Miami (1.5)
An unbeaten team FAVORED? This is great. If Miami loses this week, I shudder as to who this team can beat.
(5.5) San Diego @ Kansas City
Here's hoping the Chiefs don't decide to make it close.
Seattle @ Philadelphia (3.5)
I'm wondering if the Eagles loss to the Pats was a kick-start for this team. Well, here's hoping.
San Francisco @ Carolina (2.5)
Will the Panthers ever win at home? Here's hoping "no" for one more week.
Tampa Bay @ New Orleans (3.5)
Fuck the Saints. Lose and go away from the NFC playoff picture.
Cleveland @ Arizona (1.5)
This might have the potential to be a hella good game on the offensive side of things. Who would have thought that at the start of the season?
(3.5) Denver @ Oakland
It's the Raiders. For some reason they seem like they should be better than their three-win record. Maybe it's because they played in some close games. OK, time to see if I know what I'm talking about or pulling this out of my rear end.
Week 1: 21-36
Week 2: 20-23
Week 3: 26-24
Week 4: 35-17
Week 5: BYE
Week 6: 14-28
Week 7: 10-12
Week 8: 9-13
Week 9: 17-24 Eh, the Raiders scored a touchdown with 1:30 left. I'm not counting this one as a "close loss."
Week 10: 6-17
Week 11: 22-29
Week 12: 20-17
So seven of the dozen contests were either wins or games that were close in score. I'm taking this one.
Week 13:
(1.5) N.Y. Giants @ Chicago
Come on G-men, collapse.
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh (7.5)
Neither team beats the other at home. Steelers are also without some key players. Also, I just heard fullback Dan Krieder is out with an ACL tear. Here's hoping he can rehab himself onto another team next year. He'll be a free agent and doesn't really fit anymore into the Steelers' plans. I liked him.
(20.5) New England @ Baltimore
Damn you New England for having a close game. Don't burn me again.
Another let's get this out of the way show. I have no idea what to expect. The video to open the show is very cool, and very professional looking. Even better than the ones they used to have during the Attitude Era.
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The first match, is Elijah Burke vs. CM Punk, for Punk's ECW Championship. Yeah, I'm one of those people that doesn't like the use of the ECW name. At all. I don't even know who this Elijah Burke guy is...and I'll be saying that a lot during the show.
Blow-by-blow: Punk pushes Burke, and they both go onto the mat, obviously for some mat wrestling. Burke with the go-behind, but Punk bridges out, and gives Burke a droptoehold. Punk applies a short arm scissor, but Burke gets into the ropes. Buke with an elbow to Punk, but he misses a charge, and gets kicked. Punk hits Burke in the gut, and gives him a russian leg sweep for 2. Punk chops him and kicks him, before giving him a snapmare and kicking him in the back. Punk gives Burke a backbreaker for 2, and on an Irish whip to the corner, Burke blows the reversal, tripping over Punk's feet. Didn't fall down, though. Burke rams Punk's head into the mat, which gets a 2 count. He gives Punk some of his own medicine, with a kick to Punk's back. Burke gives Punk a surfboard, until Punk kicks him. Punk gives Burke a bulldog, and slingshots from the apron back into the ring with a clothesline, for 2. Burke then pulls Punk out to the floor, and rams Punk into the apron. On the inside, a cover gets 2, and Burke goes for a Boston crab, which he gets. Punk's facial expressions are VERY good. Punk reaches the ropes, so Burke decides he needs to give him 2 german suplexes, consecutively. Burke gives Punk an STO, which gets a 2 count. Burke applies this leglock thing, I don't know what it's called. It looks cool, though. Punk rolls through the hold, but gets kicked twice. For some reason Burke grabs Punk's leg, and Punk gives him an enziguri. That made no fuckin' sense, on Burke's part. Burke gives Punk an uppercut for 2, but stalls around, and gets rolled up by Punk for 3 at 11:52.
Match Analysis: It's known I don't like that finish, but it didn't bother me this time. It was solid, and I don't know if this Burke guy is supposed to be a good worker, because it really seemed like Punk was leading him along. It's **, and a good opener.
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Oh noes, partners who don't like each other. It's the WWE Tag Team Champions, Matt Hardy and MVP vs. Deuce and Domino w/Cherry. Cherry = yum, from what I see.
Blow-by-blow: I like MVP's entrance, and I got kinda sad when I found out the "internet" part of Hardy's entrance was gone. Boo. Deuce and Domino have no heat...at all. Their whole thing is so corny, I kinda like it. MVP and Hardy argue, and I guess Hardy decides he's going to start the match, but MVP slaps Hardy on the back, tagging in. Domino and MVP begin the match, as MVP gives Domino an armdrag, and a bodyslam, before tagging in. Hardy gives Deuce an armdrag and a bodyslam, then a swinging neckbreaker. So Hardy's better, he did more. I'm enjoying the interaction between the two champions. MVP tags in and gives Deuce a chop and bulldog, and goes to the 2nd rope, for that Matt Hardy elbowdrop. Hardy's pissed though, and keeps him from doing it. He doesn't care for the imitation. Hardy and Domino tag in, and Domino misses a charge to the buckle. Hardy slams him, then does an awful impression of the BALLIN! elbow, and lastly gives him the REAL VERSION(1UUUUUUH) of that move, for 2. Deuce pulls Hardy's hair, then tags in. Knee to the face for 1, and he gives Hardy a cobra clutch. Hey. Deuce misses a charge to the corner, and gets rolled up by Hardy for 2. Domino comes in and slams Hardy, then gets a legdrop for 2. He rams Hardy into the buckle, then tags in Deuce again. Deuce applies an armbar, and Cherry grabs Hardy's leg during his comeback, keeping him from making the tag. Hardy still gives Deuce the SIDE EFFECT, but Deuce quickly tags in Domino, who keeps Hardy from tagging MVP, by hitting MVP. MVP's pissed off about getting hit, and goes back to the entranceway. Deuce and Domino do this cool double team that would look like the Powerplex if done at the same time, and it gets 2. MVP runs back to the apron, as Deuce applies a front facelock on Hardy. Hardy bulldogs Deuce while clotheslining Domino, and it's hot tag MVP. MVP clotheslines Deuce, then gives him an elbow, backdrop, and two difference facebuster variations. Hardy tags in when MVP does the BALLIN! elbow, and uses MVP as a battering ram, pushing him into Domino. Hardy then gives Deuce the TWIST OF FATE, which finishes the bout after the pinfall, at 9:19.
Match Analysis: I swayed back and forth on what I was going to rate it, and I decided on **. I really, really enjoyed the interaction between MVP and Matt Hardy. Usually I think the "feuding partners" angle sucks, but this time at least, it felt right.
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Rey's on WWE Mobile (what's this?) and has something to say about how he was beaten up by Khali. Yeah, he's an underdog and all that.
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The next match is No Disqualification, but for Carlito only. What the fuck? He's facing Triple H.
Blow-by-blow: HHH starts the match off with a few punches, and a back elbow. Carlito bails, but comes back in quickly, and gets backdropped. Carlito goes out to grab a trash can, but HHH pulls him in before he can grab it. HHH clotheslines Carlito out, and Carlito goes to grab a chair. He swings it, but hits the ringpost on accident. HHH drives Carlito into the barrier, and then into the ring apron. HHH gives Carlito an elbowdrop to the back, and a backbreaker, before applying an abdominal stretch. HHH cheats by using the rope, and then pulls Carlito's hair. HHH gets caught and forced to break the hold, so Carlito runs out and tries to unhook a television monitor. HHH stops him, and tosses him onto, but not through, the ECW announce table. Carlito hits HHH with the ring bell, twice, but no blood. Surprising. Carlito chokes HHH with the cord, and then grabs his apple. He spits in the face of people that aren't cool, but apparently, HHH is cool. Cause he was unable to spit in his face. Carlito then hits HHH with a trash can 5 times, then grabs another can and back suplexes HHH onto it, then gets ANOTHER CAN and puts it in the corner, where nothing happens. HHH clotheslines Carlito, and gives him a high knee, then the knee-to-face facebuster, for 2. Carlito grabs some powder, and throws it at HHH. Don't know what to say about that. Carlito grabs a chair, but can't hit HHH with it, as HHH gives him a spinebuster. HHH grabs the chair, but lowblows Carlito instead. And now it's the PEDIGREE, which gives HHH the pinfall at 10:41. HHH takes FOREVER to get out of the ring, which bothers me. It bothers me when anyone does it during the middle of the card.
Match Analysis: I didn't care for it. It was basically a glorified squash, and not much more. *1/4. To be fair, I don't think Carlito's very good (from what I've seen), and I don't think the match could have been any better.
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Maria's with Batista...not a fan of Batista's promos, especially in this case, as he gives me a creepy feeling that he's undressing Maria with his eyes...yeah, I'd really rather not know about that.
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Anyway, the next match is Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle for the Women's Title. The champion is always billed last, unless it's a special case.
Blow-by-blow: Candice Michelle's music is AWFUL. It makes me want to throw my remote at the TV, or fast forward past it. Candice grabs onto a headlock, but Phoenix just throws her away. She does that alot. He gives Candice a knucklelock, and picks her up, then drops her to the canvas. Candice avoids a charge, and springboards back into the ring with an armdrag on Phoenix. Phoenix gives Candice a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and whips her hard into the buckle. Sometimes it's hard to watch women's wrestling, especially in the WWE, because they don't give you that feeling that the moves have a rough impact on their opponent. Phoenix whips her into the buckle, and it's like Candice just smooths her way into being hit. Phoenix rams Candice's head into the mat, which gets 2. We go to the chinlock, and instead, Phoenix applies a surfboard. She gives Candice a back elbow afterward, and an argentine backbreaker. Candice counters it with a neckbreaker, and then a dropkick, but Phoenix rams her into the buckle. Then, Phoenix gives her a press slam. Guess that looked cool. Candice rolls Phoenix up out of nowhere, and gets 3, at 7:05.
Match Analysis: There was nothing that could have made the match worse, so just a DUD. The finish didn't even bother me, I disliked the match that bad. It was a matter of personal preference, not bad wrestling, to a point. Everything was well executed. It just didn't flow, for some reason.
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The Great Khali and his manager, Ranjin Singh, have an interview, and whenever Khali talks, the fans go WHAT? Nice to know that didn't go away. Khali crushes a canteloupe, to signify what he's going to do to Rey Mysterio's head. Note the mask on the canteloupe. And then he crushes a watermelon, to signify what he'll do to Batista. Great promo. I'm being dead serious, that was awesome.
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A video comes first, but it's Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. The Great Khali in a triple threat match, for the World Heavyweight Championship. I'll have something to say about this afterward, but it'll wait.
Blow-by-blow: Batista's entrance is fuckin' DUMB. Both his and Rey's take forever too. Bothersome. Batista and Rey beat up Khali, until Khali throws Rey out of the ring. Sorry, I can't take Rey vs. Khali seriously. That wasn't what I was going to say, though. Khali clotheslines Batista, and rams him into the buckle. He kicks Batista, but misses a charge to the corner. Batista gives him a few shouldercharges, and rams Rey into Khali. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey rolls up Batista for 2. Hey, you gotta try somethin'. Rey gives Batista a flying headscissors, and a bulldog for a 2 count. He goes onto the apron and springboards in with a senton, and I've gotta ask. Is he able to do the West Coast Pop anymore? I'd really like an answer, so please, tell me. Khali gives Rey a gigantic boot to the face, and tries to give Batista the HEAD CRUSH. That finisher is so damn funny. I know it's not called the HEAD CRUSH, but I like it that way. Khali clotheslines him, and then he's able to give him the HEAD CRUSH. Rey grabs a chair and hits Khali with it, well, it doesn't do a thing. Khali goes to the outside, and tosses Batista onto a table. Khali is unable to catch up to Rey, but when he does, he chokes him, and clotheslines him. Khali applies a nerve hold, and gives Rey a big boot when he tries to break it. Khali applies the HEAD CRUSH on Rey, but Batista comes flying back in with a shoulderblock. Khali gets tied in the ropes, so Rey and Batista have to fight. Batista tries to powerbomb Rey, but gets given a rana by Rey. 619 time for Batista, and one for Khali too. Rey with a seated senton onto Khali, but Batista catches Rey afterward, and powerbombs him onto Khali. Batista gives Khali a spinebuster, and pins him, to win the World Title, at 8:00.
Match Analysis: I liked this match better than the triple threat I watched yesterday. But that doesn't MAKE the match THAT much better, although it was better. The finishing sequence is what made the match better, no doubt. And it was kept short, and simple. Thankfully. *1/2, and I don't mean that in a bad way, at all.
Now, what I had to say about this was, this is what I hate about the brand split. A PPV, with only 2 non-title matches. Something is not right about that, and it kinda cheapens some of the titles in the first place. Especially when a bunch change. I'm of the opinion that there should be 1 World Title. 1 Tag Team Title. 2 Midcard Titles, being the IC and US Title. Cruiserweight Champion, and Women's Champion. I think that's all there should be. Have the champion go on both shows again. It's more fun that way, and I may even start watching on a weekly basis again. But RIGHT NOW, the sheer amount of titles there are is overkill. Too much to keep track of. The brand split is fine, when you don't have this many titles.
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Now, a flashback to the Hornswoggle stuff. I didn't want to see it then, and I didn't want to see it now. But, the stupidity of the whole thing had me laughing. HARD. HHH and Batista are backstage, and HHH congratulates him, yeah that whole thing.
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Paul London and Brian Kendrick are facing Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Championships, and I have to say, I don't know what to think of London and Kendrick's getup. Meaning the colors, purple and green. It looks like something Kriss Kross would wear. Wow.
Blow-by-blow: Cade and Kendrick start, and Cade gives him a hiptoss. Kendrick gives Cade a dropkick, and Cade returns with a shoulderblock. Murdoch comes in, and gets rolled up for 2. London tags in after a Kendrick armdrag, and he comes in with an elbow off the top. Kendrick comes in, and does the same, before tagging London in again. London kicks Murdoch's left arm, where they were giving the elbows to. Murdoch misses a charge, and the obviousness of the spot call bothered me a little. He looked at Kendrick and practically told him, come here. Kendrick comes in with a sunset flip for 2, but Murdoch gives him a clothesline. Cade tags in, and is given a flying headscissors by Kendrick. Both London and Kendrick clothesline Cade over the top, and dropkick Murdoch out, and then London and Kendrick suicide dive onto both. Cool. Kendrick goes up top, but misses a crossbody, once they all come back in. Murdoch tosses Kendrick out, and brings him back in the hard way. Cade gets a shoulderblock for 2, and slams Murdoch onto Kendrick, with Murdoch giving Kendrick a legdrop. Cade keeps Kendrick away from tagging London, and puts Kendrick up top, where he powerslams him from the 2nd rope for 2. Murdoch tags in and gets an elbowdrop for 2, then applies a neck vice. Kendrick gets some momentum, and gives him a leg lariat. Cade tags in, and misses a charge to the buckle, but keeps Kendrick from making the tag. Murdoch misses a move from up top, and London finally tags in. He flips into the ring, and has dropkicks for both his opponents. He gives Cade an inverted atomic drop, and a hurricanrana. The crowd has been quiet all match, and I don't know why. London gives a DOUBLE STOMP to a STANDING Murdoch, but misses a charge to the corner. Cade goes up top, but misses a flying elbowdrop. London gets a dropkick for 2, and Kendrick tags in, then comes off the top with a crossbody for 2. Cade and Murdoch do a cool double team, where Cade gives an opponent an inverted atomic drop, and Murdoch gives the same opponent a big boot, but it only gets 2. Murdoch mises a charge to the buckle, but Cade gives Kendrick a sitout-uranage powerbomb, and Cade tosses London out of the ring so he can't make the save during Murdoch's pin, giving Cade and Murdoch the victory and pinfall at 11:49.
Match Analysis: I liked it. But the crowd didn't. They shit all over it. Still, fuck them. They don't matter, when they're as dumb as this. **1/4.
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A Condemned promo and video package for the match takes place, prior to Randy Orton vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. I thought their match at Summerslam was good, so this should be...right?
Blow-by-blow: Cena's dad is sitting at ringside, remember, Orton kicked him in the face. Anyhow, the crowd is a typical WWE crowd, half heeling on Cena, half not. It looks really bad when they do that. They both slug it out at the opening bell, and Cena gets the best of it, after a clothesline. The crowd is hot, which is no surprise. It was like this last time. Orton bails after being rammed into the turnbuckle and clotheslined. Back in, and Cena tries for the STFU. Can't get it, though, as Orton bails, and gives Cena a European uppercut, on the floor. Orton DDT's Cena from the 2nd rope, back into the ring, but it only get 2. Orton and Cena fight some more, but Cena misses a charge to the buckle, and Orton applies a sleeper. Not this bullshit again. And it goes to a chinlock. So fucking typical. Dueling chants suck, too. I had to say that. Cena breaks the hold and clotheslines Orton, then beats him up in the corner, and pushes the referee twice which leads to a disqualification at 7:21. Fuck that finish. Orton pulls Cena's dad over the barrier, and Cena applies the STFU to Orton, when Orton had attempted to kick Cena's dad again. Cena's dad returns the favor from RAW, and runs backstage. Funny moment: Shot cuts to the crowd, and there's this guy rapping out Cena's music. That's funny shit. Reminds me of something I would have done, back in the day.
Match Analysis: A chinlock in a 7 minute match. The shitty finish. The fake looking brawling. Save that bullshit for RAW. Goodness, I'd feel so RIPPED off had I paid the PPV price for that. Such bullshit. The finish is enough to knock the match down to DUD territory. Terrible. And if you're doing a 7 minute match, for the LOVE OF GOD, don't go to a chinlock. Keep it high intensity, for fuck's sake.
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Jonathan Coachman is with Cena's dad, and he basically tells the guy to stay out of Orton and Cena's business. Then Cena comes in and says, you mess with him, you mess with me. He pushes Coach to the ground, and walks away.
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The main event to end all main events, Mark Henry vs. The Undertaker. Seriously, what the fuck.
Blow-by-blow: The entrance wall falls down, and The Undertaker comes out of it. And now what's left of said wall lights on fire. Haha. The crowd's all standing up, but nobody's making any noise. Once Taker gets in the ring, both men slug it out (harharhar, slugs) and Taker gets the best of it. He gives Henry a headbutt and avalanche, but when he tries another avalanche, Henry picks him up and rams him into the turnbuckle. Didn't matter though, Taker came back with a big boot and headbutt to put Henry down. OLD SCHOOL TIME, but Henry crotches him, then takes about 2 minutes to get up there and give Taker a superplex. Henry gives Taker a clothesline and big boot, but it doesn't do a thing. Taker knocks Henry to the floor, and rams him into one of the announce tables. Henry rams Taker into the apron, and I swear to God, the crowd hasn't made a single sound all match. Henry gives Taker a clothesline for 2, and a big splash for 2. Haha, Taker's on the ground like a sack of potatoes. No movement, no facial expressions, nothing. Another big splash gets 2, but a 3rd misses. Henry gives Taker an STO and a bodyslam, then ANOTHER big splash. He wasts time, and Taker sits up. Thankfully, this is going to be over soon. Taker with two avalanches and OLD SCHOOL, then a CHOKESLAM, which gets 2. Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but can't get it, so he kicks Henry instead. Henry applies a bearhug and takes Taker over to the corner for the 10 punch, but Taker LAST RIDE's him out of the corner for 3 at 11:26. And the show is over.
Match Analysis: Awful, in very way. I'm convinced that Mark Henry can't be carried to more than a **. Taker did his part to make the match shitty, though. Anyway, there was no crowd heat, and it was an awful decision to put this on last. For that awful decision, combined with the awful match, that's a negative. -*. Really could have done without seeing that.
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Rating: Poor. Better than Armageddon 2003, but not by much. But there were enough average matches to give it a poor rating, and the negative rating keeps it from going to being average.
Best Segment: I enjoyed London/Kendrick vs. Cade/Murdoch the most. I love tag team matches. MVP and Matt Hardy were right after that, on the enjoyment ladder.
Worst Segment: Obviously Undertaker vs. Mark Henry. I don't think the crowd bought into Henry as a threat, thus the lack of crowd reaction.
Loudest Sound: HHH, John Cena (both negatively and positively), Batista, Matt Hardy, and The Great Khali. People really didn't like that ugly bastard.
No Sound: London and Kendrick (but fuck those fans), Deuce and Domino, both women in their match, and Mark Henry. No surprises.
But about the World Heavyweight Title change in the middle of the card, that's exactly why these shows suck. You have a World Title match in the middle, you change the title, get a pop...and then nothing for almost the entirety of the night afterward. Not good.
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Well, that's done. I'll probably watch PTW today, but if I don't, it may be that Jesse Ventura stuff.
Todd Stottlemyre- Starting Pitcher
Toronto Blue Jays 1988-1994
Oakland Athletics 1995
St. Louis Cardinals 1996-1998
Texas Rangers 1998
Arizona Diamondbacks 1999-2002
Awards
None
All-Star Selections: None
League Leader
None
Career Ranks
None of note
Best Performance
August 26, 1992 - Toronto at Chicago
Carried a no hitter into the 8th inning before a Dan Pasqua double with one out breaks it up. Finished with a complete game, one-hitter.
Hall of Fame Stats
Gray Ink: Pitching - 28 (812) (Average HOFer ≈ 185)
HOF Standards: Pitching - 13.0 (582) (Average HOFer ≈ 50)
HOF Monitor: Pitching - 15.0 (716) (Likely HOFer > 100)
Similar Pitchers in HOF: None
Top 10 Similar Pitchers: Darryl Kile, Woody Williams, Livan Hernandez, Pat Hentgen, Ron Darling, Kevin Tapani, Mike Krukow, Tim Belcher, Pedro Astacio, Mike Hampton
Year-by-Year Win Shares & Wins Above Replacment Level (WARP3)
1988: 0/0.0
1989: 6/2.7
1990: 9/4.9
1991: 15/6.0
1992: 7/3.1
1993: 7/3.1
1994: 10/6.2
1995: 10/5.4
1996: 14/5.7
1997: 11/5.3
1998: 14/4.8
1999: 6/2.0
2000: 6/3.0
2002: 0/-0.1
Career Win Shares: 115
Career WARP3: 54.0
My Stupid Opinion
If you look up "Middle of the Rotation Starter" in the dictionary you'll probably see Stottlemyre's face. He's this year's "Why the hell is this guy on the ballot?" winner as there's nothing in his career that stands out. Now he was a better pitcher than Bobby Witt who was on last year's ballot and freakin' Gary DiSarcina was on the 2006 ballot so there have been worse nominees. He did pitch for two World Champions in Toronto (he was out for the season during the D-Backs 2001 run) but in his only World Series start he was shelled, the infamous 15-14 slugfest in Game 4 of the '93 Series.
9:15 p.m.
• Here’s a work story, but it doesn’t involve me~! Long story short: Mrs. kkk works in the realm of academia. ‘Nuff said. Here’s the latest reenactment of her workplace.
Boss: “OMG Does our work study person have enough work!? I don’t want her just sitting around doing nothing.”
Better Half: “The work study student (Jenna) has plenty of work to do. She’s entering in all the data we’re giving her, and she’s doing a good job. She has to still do data entry from our interviews from the last two weeks.”
Boss: “OMG I hope we’re not overworking her.”
Better Half: “WTF.”
Don’t you love this shit? And apparently Mrs. kkk’s boss asks her about this, along with several other ongoing micromanaging issues, multiple times a day. My solution was to have Jenna document everything she does and give it to the boss either at the end of a work shift or at the start of next day’s work. Of course, the boss doesn’t want to do that. I guess freaking out 20 times per day is preferable. And this woman makes six figures. The boss, not the better half.
• Uh oh.
I've worked third-shift for a number of years, including a number of shifts where I didn't get home or go off to work in the middle of the night.
6:15 p.m.
• Quick pickkks, err, pickkk.
Green Bay @ Dallas (7.5). Normally I'd go with Dallas but this spread is too big to pass up. Watch it be a blowout.
