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1/5: They They Go, Steelers, There They Go

4:15 p.m.   • Even though I clinched a first-round bye in my kkk Bowl league (had I been playing this year), I might as well see how good (or bad) I would have done this round.   Washington @ Seattle (3.5) Seattle 27, Washington 17 I’m not high on Seattle, but I’m chalking this one up to the home-team-wins-on-Wild-Card-Weekend. I’ll tell you what, though. If the Redskins win and reach the Conference Championship round, it’s going to make for one hell of a story.   (2.5) Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh Jacksonville 27, Pittsburgh 10 I can see this game going a number of ways. Jacksonville can just go out there and make Pittsburgh its bitch, or the Steelers will learn and adjust from their first game and win. To do this, I think the Steelers will have to become more of a passing team than a running team. But what’s most odd about this game is that there has been absolutely no fan excitement in the week leading up to this game in the Southwestern Pennsylvania region. Now that is a bad sign.   N.Y. Giants @ Tampa Bay (3.5) N.Y. Giants 13, Tampa Bay 23 Much like the Steeler game, I can see this one going one of two ways. The Giants took that loss to the Patriots and built some momentum, or they are going to have one hell of a letdown and have the Bucs, which hasn’t done shit in recent weeks, run all over them. I’m opting for the latter because that’s all you’ll be hearing about afterward from the national media: “OMG the Giants should have rested everybody in Week 17~!”   Tennessee @ San Diego (9.5) Tennessee 10, San Diego 20 I like Vince Young, but I don’t see how the Titans can pull this one off. Their only hope is that Rivers has a terrible game and the Tennessee defense stifles the Chargers rushing attack. Perhaps Young, who is hurt, will be pulled during this game and Collins will rally the troops, but I think San Diego will get out of the first round this year.   11:15 p.m.     • Even though the ad as a whole isn't all that great, what makes me love this spot is Jerry Jones at the very end saying, "Hey, you need this ... I'll take those."   11:59 p.m.   • Wow, you got to love local news. The NBC station is leading off with fan reaction to tonight's Steeler loss. You'd think the mayor died. Get over it, people. IT'S A GAME. Be glad they lost a close game at home to a better team rather than going on the road and losing in a blowout to a MUCH better team.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

Review: WCW Bash at the Beach 1994, from Orlando, Florida, 7/17/1994.

My hand is nearly ready to start typing these in full. Nearly, but who knows how long that'll be. Anyhow, nothing will be there to review in full like that until the 15th, at which point I'll probably bring back a full review with Royal Rumble 1988. Fitting in with the theme of the month "Big Bangs and Dazzling Debuts," it's Hulk Hogan's WCW debut. So... ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan talk for a while, until we are given a rendition of the national anthem by some guy named Daron Norwood. Who? Next, we see a clip of Sting vs. Ric Flair from WCW Saturday Night. I've heard that match is a very good one, but it's just a clip here. Anyway, Sting was scheduled to challenge Lord Steven Regal for the TV Title tonight. But since he has a lacarated cornea or something from Sensous (their name for her, not mine) Sherri scratching him on the face, after coming through the crowd dressed as a man. After that, Hulk Hogan ran into the ring to save Sting, until Ric Flair got the edge on him after a chopblock. The attack continued until Mr. T and Jimmy Hart save Hogan from Flair. Ok, then. ___________________   The first match on the card is Johnny B. Badd vs. Lord Steven Regal w/Sir William for the WCW TV Title. Yes, Sir William is Bill Dundee. My brother thinks Badd looks really fabulous. Take that for what you will.   I don't like that there's confetti all over the ring during the match, from when Badd shot it out of the Badd Blaster during his entrance. The crowd was into this match, which was definitely a good thing. However, this one was strange. The match didn't get going well until at the end, at which point Badd began to take over the match. He hit Regal with a left hook, which knocked him to the floor, and then he hit Regal with a pescado. He tossed Regal in and came in with a sunset flip, but Regal reversed it (strangely) into a rollup for 3 at 10:40. After the match, Badd attacks Sir William, and then, WCW's crew clears the confetti out of the ring. Thank you. The ending looked really bad, but it was still something good to open the show. **1/2. ___________________   Next, Antonio Inoki's in the ring. Zuh? Well, Steven Regal comes into the ring, and runs down the fact that he's not being given an award, while Inoki is. After talking for a while, Inoki chases him around the inside of the ring, until Regal chickens out and goes backstage. Jesse Ventura then comes out for commentary, prior to... ___________________   This bout is The Guardian Angel vs. Vader w/Harley Race. Guardian Angel = Ray Traylor.   My brother points out to me that Traylor looks like a Russian with the beret he wears during his entrance. He's right. This was a fun one. And Vader gave Traylor the moonsault, which was great. Anyway, Race gave Vader this baton thing to hit Traylor with as the referee was down, but Traylor stole it. The referee then wakes up and sees Traylor with the baton, and he disqualifies Traylor, giving Vader the win by disqualification, at 7:58. He never even hit Vader with the thing, which soured me on an otherwise decent affair. *3/4. ___________________   Mike Tenay and Chris Cruise, who are operating the WCW Hotline, want to speak to Terry Funk, but Funk wants no part of that. Now, for a recap of the feud between Dustin Rhodes, Bunkhouse Buck and Funk. On some show, Terry hit Dustin with a branding iron. And Dustin does a great bladejob, which was a surprise, given WCW's restrictions on blood. Anyway, Dustin wants Arn Anderson to team with him against Buck and Funk, and Arn says sure.   Before that match, there's a video of some silly match before the show. I have no idea what this is. ___________________   And now, we have Bunkhouse Buck and Terry Funk w/Meng and Colonel Robert Parker vs. Dustin Rhodes and Arn Anderson in a Grudge Match.   I'm very interested to see what happens in this match. I don't know what happens here at all. Anyway, Dustin takes an asskicking. Funk acts like a nutcase for most of the match, which is great. Anyway, Dustin finally powers up and hits both opponents with multiple elbows, and when he hits Robert Parker, he decides to tag in Arn. Arn is fired up too...but he gives DUSTIN A DDT. What the FUCK. Ok, that one surprised me. Wow. Funk then covers Dustin at 11:15 for the 3 count. There is monstrous heel heat here. Now the heels go to work on the arm, stomping it and kneedropping it. What a great match finish, ***. There was a gigantic WTF factor there, the crowd didn't expect, and neither did I. Like I said, I try not to find things out about these shows, and not only that, I've never seen this show in my life. WCW post-Hogan arrival to Fall Brawl 1995 is a blank slate to me. Mean Gene Okerlund then encounters Arn in the aisleway, and asks him why he did that. He sidesteps the question, and says that they're going to celebrate. ___________________   Tony and Bobby begin to talk to Hank Aaron, but thankfully, it's time for Part 2, as this conversation is edited out. ___________________   A Jimmy Hart thing (not part of the Bash show) opens up Part 2, and then it's Ric Flair and Sensous Sherri with Mean Gene. I've gotta ask, couldn't they think of a better first name for Sherri? That one sucks. Flair loves the match being live, and worldwide. This isn't on Worldwide, what the hell's he talking about? Sherri says that Flair's the man, and now, we have... ___________________   Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin, for the US Title. This match sounds great, and it should be. Steamboat's entrance with the dubbed music sounds like something out of Pirates of the Carribean. Just sayin'.   I love watching Steamboat chop the shit out of his opponent. Austin has the words, "Dragon Slayer" on his trunks. Thought that was worth a mention. Ventura gushes over Steamboat throughout the match, which is no surprise. He always gives Ricky credit. Unfortunately, this match is a disappointment. I expected far more. There's too much "going through the motions" here, and Tony never fails to disappoint with his "biggest night in the history of our sport" crap. I think that's the first time he's done so thus far. The match gets good at the end, but by that point it was a bit beyond being saved. Steamboat gives Austin a TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER after multiple reversals, and goes to the top rope. Before this, Austin tried to toss Steamboat over the top rope twice. You know, because of that retarded DQ rule. Austin then pushes the referee, and the referee goes to make a disqualification. Steamboat then talks to the referee, and pleads for the match to continue and not be ended via disqualification. And the referee listens. Austin then spears Steamboat and beats him up. He throws him into the ropes and misses a clothesline, so Steamboat counters with a crossbody. Austin reverses the crossbody and puts his feet on the ropes, to get the pinfall at 20:06. I expected much, much more from this. A disappointing ***1/4. Still good, but nowhere near what one would expect from these two. ___________________   Next is a WCW Hotline promo, before Bobby Heenan (back on commentary in place of Ventura) and Tony make their predictions of who will win the tag team match that's up next. I didn't pay attention to what they said. Following that, Mean Gene is with the newly formed Stud's Stable. That's what Arn joined, see. Arn talks about the Sid thing without mentioning him by name, and says that this is the real Arn Anderson. ___________________   Ok, the next match is Pretty Wonderful vs. Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan w/Dave Sullivan for the WCW World Tag Team Championship. Pretty Wonderful was the team of Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma.   This sounds decent on paper. On paper. In actuality, this is a pile of shit. So much so, that the crowd starts doing the wave during the match. That's gotta be disheartening to the wrestlers involved. This is so boring, there's at been at least 6 minutes of restholds. Anyway, Cactus gets the cold tag, and gives Orndorff a double-arm DDT. Dave Sullivan then gets on the ring apron for some inexplicable reason, and Roma trips Cactus. Orndorff then pins Cactus while Roma holds Cactus' feet down, giving Pretty Wonderful the win and tag titles at 20:11. This was terrible. DUD. Everyone should be ashamed of the shitty effort they put in. ___________________   It's time for the main event, the biggest match in the history of our sport! First Nick Bockwinkel comes to the ring, and then, Shaquille O'Neal. That gets a rise out of the crowd, this being Orlando and all. ___________________   The match everyone's talking about is Hulk Hogan w/Mr. T and Jimmy Hart vs. Ric Flair w/Sensous Sherri for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Well, Hogan's music is shit. Not that I forgot about it, but it's terrible.   Ok, since this match has so much overbooking, I'll give that the rundown. Multiple times Ric Flair pulls Sherri in between he and Hogan when outside of the ring. That's no surprise. Hogan's technical wrestling is solid in this match, and that was a surprise. Ok, a bit later, Sherri grabs Hulk's leg while Hulk is running the ropes. It causes Hulk to turn around, and Flair chops him out of the ring. Sherri then grabs a chair, but Jimmy Hart steals it away from her. Flair takes a back suplex outside of the ring during the match, which was great. Hogan does a faux Hulk-Up, and gives Flair a big boot, which gets 2 as a result of Sherri pulling the official out of the ring. Sherri then hits Jimmy Hart, and gives Hogan a big splash off the top rope. There's a new referee, but Flair distracts him, while Sherri chokes Hogan with her panty hose. Flair then puts Hogan in the figure-four, and Sherri tries another splash on Hogan from the top. She misses, so Hogan knocks her out of the ring, while clotheslining Flair. He gives Flair a figure-four, as Mr. T carries Sherri to the back. But before T gets there, she tosses Flair a foreign object to hit Hogan with. Flair punches Hogan and only gets two, so it's HULK-UP TIME LITTLE DUDE. ONE TWO THREE, BOOT, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 21:50. Ok, at first, I was going to call this **3/4. However, there's a gigantic amount of overbooking. I'm not going to deduct anything, for third reasons. First, the segments in between the overbooking are outstanding. The wrestling is crisp, and psychology is sound. Secondly, I feel like I already deducted stars for rating it that low in the first place. Third, should I deduct stars, I have no idea how low I should go. There was just SO MUCH. My rating is still **3/4, with an aforementioned warning that the overbooking is such that it can make the match un-enjoyable. However, I still enjoyed it.   After the match, Shaq hands Hogan the title, and Hogan poses. I was hoping this was the end of the show, but it's not. Hogan gives an interview in the back, and runs into Brutus Beefcake and Jim Duggan along the way back there. Talk about who I would not want in WCW, those two are atop the list. Once he gets back there to talk to Gene Okerlund, he goes into formula Hogan mode. He puts over Johnny B. Badd, Duggan, Beefcake and Brian Pillman(?) as loyal Hulkamaniacs, and rambles for a while, until the interview ends and we go back to Bobby and Tony. Show's over, after they say a few things. ___________________   Rating: Decent. Largely disappointing, IMO. I thought this was going to be a great show, I really did. I nearly forgot to mention that NO babyfaces won on the entire card until the main event. I think that's shitty of WCW. Had I paid for the show, I would've been a little peeved. However, unlike StarrCade '92, I definitely would have bought this in the first place. Not a question about it. That said, there are still things about this show that are well worth checking out, namely Hogan/Flair, and Arn Anderson's turn.   Best Segment: Arn Anderson's turn on Dustin Rhodes. No contest.   Worst Segment: Kevin Sullivan and Cactus Jack vs. Pretty Wonderful. Brutal stuff.   Loudest Sound: Johnny B. Badd, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and all participants in the grudge match. After the Arn heel turn, the crowd really turned down the volume. That wasn't a good thing.   No Sound: Ricky Steamboat, Cactus Jack, Kevin Sullivan, and Steve Austin. Although Pretty Wonderful are Pretty Awful, they got massive heel heat prior to and after their title win. Austin was the only heel to get little reaction. ___________________   The Lakers play tonight, so when I post that "Random Thoughts" thing in a few days, there won't be anything about Smackdown except for what I thought of the booking, if anything at all. I won't be watching much of Smackdown unless there's a blowout in the Laker game. Anyhow, that thing will probably be up Monday afternoon.

Guest

Guest

 

Bombs, Bucks

Remember when you screwed around in your yard or your friend's yard, doing kid things like playing fort, setting paper airplanes on fire, maybe the odd cherry bomb here and there? Well, things have progressed since those olden times. Like making an explosive device powerful enough to blow up a backyard playset and killing someone in the process.   cincinnati.com         What is the psychology at work where we have changed the way we say the year? New Years resolution: saying "twenty oh eight" instead of "two thousand eight", as in "nineteen oh eight" instead of "one thousand nine hundred eight".     The Ohio State Buckeyes are preparing for the title game on Monday night (the end of which I'll surely miss because I'll be asleep--play the damn game on a Saturday afternoon for crissakes). They are in the exact opposite position this year as they were in last year. Last year they were annointed the champions prior to the game; this time they are a non-entity and are said to be not deserving of playing for the BCS championship. There are plenty of criticisms, and yes insults, directed at the OSU team for their lackluster schedule and perceived slow, lumbering nature (how did lumbering Michigan do against speedy SEC Florida?). And those criticisms are reaching the eyes and ears of the players, courtesy of a DVD given to them that contains clips of various pundits and others pontificating on why they are so bad.   USA Today       I think the underdog has won every BCS title game, save one. I think that's the case and if so perhaps it bodes well for the Buckeyes. One thing is for certain--if the Buckeyes lose this game, it will harm their reputation for a long, long time. In this case the answer to the question "Is it better to have gotten to the championship and lost, or not gotten there at all?" is clearly that they would have better off to have not gotten there.  

Swift Terror

Swift Terror

 

1/3: Job Stories Not About Me (Well, Mostly Not)

7:15 p.m.   • So while the better half and I drove home from work today, we were talking about our employment experiences when it came to quitting. While I have only resigned a job to take another job in the same region once in the last 12 years, Mrs. kkk has made a habit of employment-hopping. Then again, most of her work is in academia, so I’m sure I’d go insane as well. One job was of particular interest though.   Back when we lived in Ohio, her first job out of grad school was for some lady who had her own business. Long story short: she tested white/ghetto trash to see if they were eligible for SSI. After her first day, Mrs. kkk stormed into our townhouse and began swearing about her day due to several hillbilly kids she had to test. It didn’t get much better from there. However, the best part came about nine months later when her boss went on a three-week cruise and laid off the half-dozen people in her office. Oddly enough, this little tidbit was never told to the better half during her interview. Her boss said that everyone could collect unemployment for those three weeks while she soaked it up in the sun drinking out of those glasses with the little umbrellas in them. Problem was, Mrs. kkk hadn’t been employed full-time long enough yet to collect anything. This was around the time we decided that she should look for work back in the southwest Pennsylvania region. A few months prior, we decided to leave Ohio for Pennsylvania but we weren’t quite sure when would the best time to pack up – our lease had about six months remaining. Well, it was during this layover when we figured that Mrs. kkk move back in with her parents, look for a full-time job in her field and I would stay in Ohio working until the lease ended. Well, three weeks later, the better half was returning back to her job – only to give her two-week notice to her boss.   Oh, here’s a bonus nugget as to the kind of person this boss was: One time Mrs. kkk stayed home ill at the insistence of said boss. However, when her next paycheck arrived, it was discovered she was docked that day’s pay. When she asked why, the boss said that she took the day off and didn’t work her full eight hours. Shortly thereafter, when the better half worked late for a several-day stretch, the boss gave her hell for leaving early. The reason? She was a salaried employee and she doesn’t “work late.” A salaried employee that gets laid off during vacation time.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

RAW from 5/12/1997...mostly.

Ok, time for some random thoughts about things I've watched which I'm unable to type a full review of. When I go back to work once this hand is healed, this part of my reviewing, outside of Raw and Nitro, is very likely to stay like this. I won't have the time to write like I did before. I probably shouldn't have tagged this under review, but whatever. ___________________   So, first, Shorties Section. RAW debuts, introduced by Santino Marella.   - Triple H's finisher in his first RAW match was a funny one to see. I couldn't picture him doing a cutter variation now, so that was a surprise.   - The original concept with Mankind's music was awesome. The piano music at the end, I mean. He gave Bob Holly a little too much during the match, though.   - The shoulderbreaker was a pretty lame finisher for a debuting guy. So why did Rocky Maivia have it? Sunny fawning over him on commentary was funny, as was Rocky's hair. Not diggin' all the blue, though.   - The Headbangers beat the Hardy's the hell up, on that RAW where Sid won the title from Bret Hart, the night after the Final Four. Not much to see here at all, except for the Hardy's lame choice in tights.   - Carlito's RAW debut in an Intercontinental Championship match against Shelton Benjamin featured a hilarious botched somersault plancha, by Benjamin. It was one of the funnier botches I've seen, seeing as the guy didn't get hurt. And the match was **1/4, thankfully, as Carlito cheated to win at 9:07. I like Shelton Benjamin, but he always seems to have the most lax attitude in the entire promotion during his matches.   - Umaga beat up Ric Flair in his RAW debut, the night after WM 22. Nothing really to mention here.   - Santino Marella beat Umaga in a no-holds barred Intercontinental Championship match, during his debut in Milan, Italy. First, I loved the European football type atmosphere in the crowd. That was awesome. Second, Bobby Lashley is the exact opposite of what the WWE needs to have on TV. He looks like a black Scott Steiner. Anyway, Santino only won as a result of Bobby Lashley's interference. And there was really no way I could rate that "match."   Ok, that was a pretty good selection to start with, given that you aren't going to get any great matches out of this bunch. It's a hell of a lot better than the WWE picking so many matches I've already seen or have last month. ___________________   Ok, next is Black Saturday, which I watched about an hour ago (when I typed this part, anyway)   - Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch are awesome, although I already knew that. And the move they used to finish their squash tag match was incredible. Like a back suplex Doomsday Device.   - George Steele is a heel is much better than the watered-down version that he became just a few years later.   - Jesse Ventura's match was nothing special...that shouldn't be a surprise.   - B.Brian Blair had an interview with Gene Okerlund, talking about challenging for the WWF Tag Titles...this was quickly followed by an interview with Alexis Smirnoff. I thought Smirnoff's faux Russian accent was brutal.   - The Iron Sheik's squash match was fun, namely because of the chants, "Iran sucks" and "We Want Slaughter." Unfortunately, there was no appearance by Slaughter.   - Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd was tough for me to pay attention to, because my cousin wouldn't leave me alone. It was entertaining, which is more than I thought I would say. Studd won with an elbowdrop.   Overall, I can see why people were up in arms about this. And the suggestion that people were up in arms about this just because they were NWA purists is absurd. People were up in arms about this because an entire territory was GONE. I'd be pissed too if an entire roster of wrestlers that I watched and liked just disappeared. That doesn't really count for WCW, because while I watched them, I wanted them to die as a result of their stupidity. I may have been a mark, but I knew the score. Also, it became part of a storyline. This was never the case with Georgia Championship Wrestling. ___________________   Now, onto RAW, from 5/12/97. I'm using thehistoryofwwe.com to jumpstart my memory. The non-match stuff MAY be out of order.   - The show started with the Hart Foundation giving an interview, Vince Russo style. By that, I mean the promo to open the show, which has become a staple in recent weeks. Anyhow, I'm already tired of them. Bret Hart isn't the best person to be giving interviews like this. While I love the guy, he just isn't. Anyway, nothing happened, they just went backstage after being booed. These should always be a vehicle for someone else to come out and either run them down/get ran down/make or announce a match, or for an attack. None of that happened here.   - In a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match, Ahmed Johnson beat HHH by Disqualification, when Chyna hit Ahmed with a steel chair. Now, I've gotta ask a question I don't want answered. How did HHH get back in the tournament if he lost? Anyway, we'll see, but it's going to be stupid regardless.   - Scott Putski then faced Leif Cassidy...I hate Scott Putski. Putski won, and was attacked by Cassidy after the match.   - LOD beat PG-13 in a squash, when the Nation chose who they were going to send out, they sent the two small white boys. I found it funny, for that reason.   - The Undertaker defeated Savio Vega by DQ, after the Nation interfered and beat up Taker. The match sucked, and the lights took forever to go off during Undertaker's entrance. I'll get to the angles on the show at the end, after match thoughts.   - RVD beat Jeff Hardy with a split-legged moonsault. He did a giant splash during the match, but that wasn't the finish. Of note (outside of RVD making an appearance on RAW) was RVD's entrance music, you know, the ECW song where Heyman goes all EXTREME....CHAMPIONSHIP....WRESTLING. It's in the FPR ECW videos, if you don't know what I'm talking about.   - It was never announced whether this was a tag title match or not, but this elimination match was Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Headbangers vs. The New Blackjacks vs. Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon. The match was kinda shitty, because it cut to commercial in the middle. Owen and the Bulldog won the match, too. So I guess it didn't matter whether or not it was a title match. Now, for the angles/interviews, which are in no order, simply because it didn't matter. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing ended the show, as Hart was just talking to Shawn. That sucked.   - Faarooq cut a promo in the ring, on the Undertaker. After that, the Undertaker cut a promo on Faarooq, on the TitanTron. This was after Taker's match.   - Mankind came out along with a burnt Paul Bearer, to give the Undertaker a warning, before divulging a secret. I'm pretty sure what this leads to.   - Steve Austin came out and cut a promo on Brian Pillman. You have to cut the ass off a snake first. So, for the Hart Foundation, he'll start with Brian Pillman. Best part of the show.   - There was also Part 2 of that Dustin Rhodes interview, which I really didn't care about.   I think that's it. Anyway, this show wasn't too hot. Next time I'll write this stuff down, because I'm sure I forgot something. That's why there aren't any star ratings. ___________________   Now, Nitro.   - The Ultimo Dragon forced Juventud Guerrera to submit in a fun bout, for Dragon's TV Title. Juvi's mask sucks. This match didn't.disappoint, and ended with the Dragon Sleeper.   - US Champ Dean Malenko defeated Steve McMichael, after interference from Reggie White. I never want to watch the Mongo/White match. Ever. Reggie White's appearances embarass me. Reggie cut a promo after the match. It sucked.   - Wrath squashed Scotty Riggs. I hate Riggs. James Vandenburg came out, along with Mortis before the match, and Vandenburg told us Wrath's name. Glacier came out after the match, and looked menacing. Nobody cared.   - In the last match, Hugh Morrus and Konnan defeated Ice Train and Alex Wright. Wright was totally uninterested in tagging with Ice Train. Teddy Long looked fat. Also, Morrus got cold feet before attempting to moonsault Ice Train. He got up top and went all...I can't do it. Ice Train blows. Also, I love when Alex Wright does that stupid dance. Makes me laugh every time.   - For angles, Randy Savage came out and ran down DDP. Nothing in that.   - Roddy Piper, Kevin Greene and Ric Flair come to the ring and talk...until Syxx, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall appeared on a video screen and ran them down, until the video cut to commercial. My original thought was, those guys are definitely in the building...   - And then, the aformentioned members of the NWO attacked Roddy Piper. THOUGHT SO.   - Lastly, Eric Bischoff and Fake Sting came to the ring, to make fun of/talk trash about the real Sting. So Sting comes down the aisleway, and beats up Fake Sting, which causes Eric Bischoff to run away. That ended the show.   Neither was better this time. Both RAW and Nitro sucked. ___________________   Lastly, we have ECW. No, not the ECW on 24/7. The ECW that was on Sci-Fi last night. Yeah, I buckled, and I'm going to start watching WWE's product again. I knew this would happen. We'll see how it turns out. There are two reasons for this.   1. I am not missing Ric Flair's last run. No way, no how.   2. There are a few "younger" (meaning future stars) who I like, so I'd like to watch them, as well.   Ok, so...   - To start the show, Armando Alejandro Estrada brings out Chavo Guerrero. What's this about? Well, I guess Chavo got sick of hearing about CM Punk, or something. Anyway, the Cuban guy makes a match for later, which will be Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk, and if Chavo wins, he gets an ECW Title Shot. I really hate when a company books the, "if you win, you get a title shot" match. Just do. And also, where did Estrada's accent go? It's gone, isn't it. - Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore and Kelly Kelly defeated John Morrison, The Miz (both preceding are Smackdown Tag Team Champions), and Layla. During the ring entrances, I wondered, why am I watching this shit again? The reasons are self explanatory, if you watch the WWE. If you don't, well, Yang's entrance music is shit, John Morrison looks like a homosexual, and the Miz is the Miz. By, "John Morrison looks like a homosexual," I'm talking about during his entrance. There is absolutely no reason to slow down the video so that we can see his hair blow in the fake wind gusts that come out through the stage. The match was decent, and ended when Yang gave the Miz a moonsault block, for the pin. **1/4. Wang and Moore will face Morrison and the Miz in a 15 minutes of fame match next week, which entails that the team which wins the most falls will win the match. Anyway, the Miz sucks.   - Then, Big Daddy V squashed some white kid. I don't know or care what his name was.   - Shelton Benjamin beats James Curtis...this match was WAY too long. Shelton's turnbuckle powerbomb is cool, though, unlike his catch phrase. It was smart of him to change his hairstyle, it helps to distinguish him from any other generic wrestler.   - Last, CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero by countout. I was flipping back and forth between Dirty Jobs and this during most of the matches, that's why there isn't a rating for anything but the first. Hey, I like Dirty Jobs. Great show. Chavo looks flabby without being on steroids. Drastically different, but that's ok. Don't do drugs.   When there are games on (Lakers or Kings) I'll be flipping back and forth during these shows. But what I saw tonight was good, and I'll keep watching. A positive to the brand extension is that I can just ignore what I don't like watching. A negative is that I quit watching in the first place because I could just ignore shows I don't like watching. We'll see how long I keep watching for. Could only be until Flair retires, who knows. ___________________   So, yeah, that's what I've watched since the last review I posted. The next few of these may not be as in-depth as this one, I don't know. Just generally whatever I think about something, and sometimes, I don't think about anything during a particular match. This kinda turned into what I didn't want it to turn into towards the end. Too review-ish, but that was because I forgot a few things about RAW and Nitro. The next one will not be that way. I'll post the Bash at the Beach '94 review on Friday.

Guest

Guest

 

1/2: Regurgitating Chinese Buffet Stories

6:45 p.m.   • Gee, I hope this doesn’t ruin Huckabee’s chances in California. After all, that state has been up for grabs in presidential elections in recent memory.     • So I guess a person has to wait until the president he/she tried to kill actually dies before being let free. That's nice.     11 p.m.   • So today the better half had a case of the morning sickness and didn’t go into work. As she was calling off, she asked me what excuse she should use. My response: “Uh, you’re pregnant, you threw up and you feel like shit.” She wanted to say our roads were bad from the overnight snowfall. Right.   • I really don’t care so much about this story....     ... but reading it brought back memories of this local Chinese buffet my friend and I went to during my college days. The food was fine and we ate our share (going to any buffet with even a somewhat full stomach is blasphemy in my opinion), but we would stay well after the lunch buffet “ended” just bs’ing. We didn’t try to get any extra food, and the place was never really crowded in the afternoon, so we weren’t keeping other customers away. However, the owners HATED us, and their reaction to us leaving was always amusing. A few years later the place burned down. Can’t remember if it was arson or not – I think some insurance fraud was suspected, but I’m not sure. Either that or they got really sick of me stopping by.   Speaking of these places, here’s another story, and it also involves Mrs. kkk. When we lived at Sappy Valley, we would go to this local Chinese buffet. Well one time the better half bit off more than she could chew from her sweet and sour pork and had to throw it back up in the bathroom. Knowing that our eating experience was over, I explained to the owner that we just came in and got one plate of food. I said that Mrs. kkk has this condition where if she doesn’t chew her food she sometimes risks regurgitation and such an incident just happened. I didn’t want to throw her food away and asked if I could just put her meal in a take-out container. After all, they also had this take-out deal where you fill a container with grub for a cheaper price than doing the buffet thing. After much skepticism, I was finally permitted to have a to-go container. By this time the better half returned from the bathroom. I told her what I did and noticed that the owner and his wife where staring at every move I was making. It was about this time when Mrs. kkk said to me, “Think you can go up there and get a few egg rolls for later?”   Sure, if you wanted to set off the machine gun turrets this place had fixed on us.   Oh, and like the article above, it would always take some prodding to get more crab legs at the State College buffet. Then again, they were just trying to make a living, so I never cared about that one seafood selection. Espeically since the local college students would empty the crab leg bin as soon as it was filled.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

Music & Ron Paul

Happy New Year.   -Lately, I've been listening to all kinds of music. Here's what, and why   .Raekwon-Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...-The production by RZA is flawless, and it's the album debut of the immortal Nas. Anyone who loves Hip-Hop needs this.   .Steroid Maximus-¡Quilombo! , Gondwanaland, and Ectopia-Imagine the best soundtrack for a movie that was never made. Let J.G. "Foetus" Thirlwell and friends in the mix. The result is a blend of cinematic funk, big band jazz, ethnic music, weird soundscapes, unnerving loops and samples, horror soundtrack undertones, and so much more. In a word: perfect.   .Mastodon-Leviathan and Blood Mountain-Holy shit, get these. Metal at it's best, with excellent musicianship, and Prog-Rock undertones that aren't bloated and pretentious.   .Ennio Morricone-Exorcist II: The Heretic-Horrible movie, but an awesome score by Morricone. May be his most underrated.   .Agalloch-Pale Folklore, The Mantle, and Ashes Against The Grain-Holy shit, these are great. Black Metal meets Neo-Folk and Post Rock in the perfect winter soundtrack. If you like this, give Wolves in the Throne Room a listen too.   -Now, to Ron Paul Fans: He won't become the next president. He will never become the next president. Hell, I think he's a bit crazy. And no matter how much you protest Rudy, Huckabee, Clinton, or Edwards, that won't mean shit at the end. You are fucking delusional to think that A.) He has any chance of winning, B.) That he could bring peace to Iraq, and C.) That getting rid of the I.R.S. is a good thing. Oh, and none of you are really Libertarians. You just say you are because you are unhappy with the Republicans and the Democrats. So am I, and I just say I'm "Independent."

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Review: WCW Starrcade: BattleBowl/The Lethal Lottery, from Atlanta, Georgia, 12/28/1992.

Oh yeah, BATTLEBOWL!!!! I'm tempted to make an out battle beat joke, but I can't do it. ___________________   It's JIM ROSS and JESSE VENTURA on commentary. This is the best possible combination of commentators in wrestling history. Eric Bischoff comes on screen to inform us that Rick Rude will not be able to contend for the WCW Title tonight. Well, gee. Instead, it's going to be Steve Williams. Not quite sure how I feel about that. ___________________   Tony Schiavone's in the ring with Bill Watts and Hank Aaron...this is funny, and surely in the way that you're probably thinking of. Considering how Aaron got Watts fired, and all. The winner of BATTLEBOWL gets a ring next year, so Sting, who won the last BATTLEBOWL, gets a ring this year. That was a serious WTF, I mean, why not just present the ring to the winner of this year's BATTLEBOWL tonight? Anyway, Sting gets his ring and all. As a result of winning last year's BATTLEBOWL, Sting is automatically drawn into a match as part of the Lethal Lottery. And now...we go to Larry Zbybyszszszko and Missy Hyatt, for the first 4 names drawn in the LETHAL LOTTERY. ___________________   The first match is...VAN FUCKING HAMMER and Dangerous Dan Spivey vs. Cactus Jack and Johnny B. Badd.   Wow. I know the Lethal Lottery wasn't legit, but one could believe that it was, with the combinations that get spit out. At the end of the match, Van Hammer's pinning Cactus, but Hammer gets up when Badd comes in, and that causes Badd to elbowdrop Cactus Jack. Cactus then pushes Badd, but gets punched in the face, causing Van Hammer to get the roll-up and 3 count at 6:51. Spivey and Van Hammer are into the final stage of BattleBowl. On a side note, the dubbed entrance music for all the participants is quite catchy. *1/2. On another side note, Badd looks so homosexual that I nearly forgot to mention it in passing. It was like, "yeah, he looked gay." Not even anything more than that. ___________________   The second matchup of the teams drawn by Zbyszko and Hyatt is Dustin Rhodes and Big Van Vader w/Harley Race vs. Kensuke Sasaki and the Barbarian. More weird stuff on the surface, BUT, Dustin Rhodes faced Vader in the King of Cable Semifinals. Something to watch for.   Dustin Rhodes is really over. Really. Anyway, Sasaki's not very well inclined to be doing a match over here. Nobody knew who he was. Barbarian and Vader are stiff as fuck, so this is pretty good stuff, albeit short. Barbarian accidentally runs into Sasaki, who's on the ring apron, so he gets rolled up by Rhodes for 3 at 6:56. I thought for sure that Sasaki would take the fall. Like I said, I try hard not to think about or look for results of the events that get posted on this channel. Something like this show was very easy to forget. Match was **. After the match, Race and Vader attack Dustin. Race gives him a kneedrop, after Vader gives him a clothesline. What nice guys. ___________________   The next result of the draw is Barry Windham and THE GREAT MUTA vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and Flyin' Brian. I love that second team.   Scorpio does a bit of crazy shit throughout, namely a slingshot 450 kneedrop. I shit you not. Muta and Windham are clearly saving some energy for later. Windham gives Scorpio a lifted DDT, and Muta comes off the top rope with a moonsault for the finish at 6:59. **1/4. Short and energetic, which is certainly nothing to complain about. ___________________   The last Lethal Lottery match, obviously featuring Sting...is he and Steve Williams vs. Jushin Lyger and "you had me until right there" Erik Watts.   The main thing I'm sure people (Smues included) want to know about the match was...was the DROPKICK that bad. Yes. Yes it was. Watts kicked his opponent with one foot, in the knee. Not to mention, he looked like he was standing up. I was laughing so hard that I didn't even see who he kicked. I think it was Lyger. Anyway, he gave another dropkick to someone, which looked shitty too, if not as bad. It's really hard to say I've seen a worse dropkick than the famed WATTS DROPKICK. The rest of the match was solid. Watts gave Williams a shitty STF that he sold like death, which really bothered me. So after reaching the ropes, Williams gave Watts a hotshot, to win the match at 9:08. I can't believe anyone would let Bill Watts push his son like that. Awful isn't the best word to describe Erik. It was just as bad watching JUSHIN FUCKING LYGER be his tag partner, and have to make the hot tag to Watts. Honestly, the first three participants I named are 3 of 4 guys who would be in a dream match. I can't rate it too poorly. *3/4, with stars obviously knocked off because of Watts participation. ___________________   So, the final eight who will be in BATTLEBOWL are Dan Spivey, Van Hammer, Big Van Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, the Great Muta, Sting and Steve Williams. ___________________   Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko talk about the upcoming match between The Great Muta and Masahiro Chono for the NWA Title. Well look, here it is! The NWA Title is the Big Gold Belt, FWIW.   Ok, that was dogshit. Bad as it was, I thought it would be like this. The style of the match isn't going to cater to an American fanbase. It was puro-ish. Not only that, but the finishing sequence blew dog dick. Chono won with the STF at 12:49. It seemed much longer than that. Much. It's kinda hard to rate this, because of the way it went. I'll just call it a DUD and leave it at that. If I was able to write a full review, it would sound like this is a great match. It really wasn't. Both were lazy as hell. ___________________   We clip to a WCW Saturday Night...well, clip, that talks about Rick Rude's US Title possibly being stripped as a result of the herniated disk in his back, and the same may be the case for his status as the #1 Contender for the WCW Championship. Rude then comes to ringside during the "live" feed, and says that WCW is conspiring against him. He wound up being stripped of the title and didn't wrestle until April. ___________________   The next match is the match that Rude was scheduled to participate in, for the WCW Title. I'd like to have seen what would've happened had Rude been available for this show. It's Steve Williams vs. Ron Simmons.   Jim Ross has about 20 orgasms during this match while talking about OU and FSU. I wasn't surprised in the least. It's a very strange, long match. Too long. Williams works Simmons over, and given Simmons limitations, it's not as pretty as when Williams does it to better workers. The formula doesn't quite work. Not only that, it's really, really slow. When Simmons does his Hogan-esque charge, he gives Williams a spinebuster, and returns the favor from earlier, with a few chopblocks. Williams did that a few minutes ago, see. Simmons flies through the ropes to the floor, and now they brawl on the outside. Simmons accidentally clotheslines the ringpost, and that leads to a Double Countout at 15:12. Both wrestlers fight after the match, and Williams gives Simmons a face smash to the canvas off the top rope, which causes the referee to change his decision to a DQ win for Ron Simmons. The crowd liked that. They liked Simmons too, which explains why they liked that. Anyway, I thought it was a pretty shitty finish. You can't give your babyface champ a clean win at Starrcade? But this is WCW, so I shouldn't be surprised. *1/2. ___________________   Tony and Larry are on again, talking about the tag title match. See, Barry Windham attacked the champions at Clash XXI, after losing the titles to them while teamed with Dustin Rhodes. Anyway, WCW's tag team scene in 1992 was great. ___________________   So, yeah, the next match is Flyin' Brian and Barry Windham vs. Shane Douglas and Ricky Steamboat for the WCW World Tag Team Titles.   Here's what I noticed during the match, that was only somewhat related to the match itself. The floor is disgusting. Shane Douglas was thrown out of the ring, and when he came back in, his back was blackened with dirt and food crumbs. Gross. For things related to the match...the heat segments were awesome. Really great stuff. Windham and Pillman (mostly Windham) just beat the shit out of Douglas and Steamboat between hot tags. Yes, there were two. First heat segment was with Douglas, and the second with Steamboat. My only complaint is that after the second hot tag, the finish came a bit too quickly. But as far as tag team wrestling goes, it's hard to find many matches better than this. Douglas cleaned house when tagging in, and Steamboat gave Windham a crossbody which put both guys out to the ramp that was connected to the ring in the old WCW days. Then Douglas gave Pillman that belly-to-belly suplex of his, to finish the match at 20:02. This pretty much rocked it. I read somewhere that Scott Keith gave this **1/4. He must've been on drugs. This was an easy ****1/4. Easy. If you like tag team wrestling, it's worth looking for this match. Douglas really could take a beating then. ___________________   Prior to Big Van Vader w/Harley Race vs. Sting in the King of Cable Final, we get a clip of Sting attacking Vader at one of the WCW TV shows. Probably WCW Saturday Night.   This is another fantastic match. There are many great spots, and I'll name all of them. Sting gives Vader a german suplex, putting Vader on his head. That was worth a YO. After that, he clotheslines Vader over the top rope, which knocks Vader's mask off. Then, Sting comes back into the ring quickly, and pescado's onto both Vader and Race. That's certainly not the last of the WOW spots. Sting places Vader on the top later, and gives him a DDT from up there. Not Randy Orton style, I mean he followed him up there and gave him a DDT. That was great. Moving on, Vader's standing at the guardrail, and Sting tries a STINGER SPLASH. Unfortunately, he misses, and now Vader goes to work. I've gotta say, Ross' commentary throughout the match is fantastic. I can't quote it, because it doesn't give off the same vibe as the desperate situation he describes the match to be. Vader's giving Sting a real beating now. Vader's giving Sting rights and lefts, but Sting's doing the rope-a-dope strategy, much like Ross says. Vader tries for a superplex later, but he gets pushed off by Sting. Because Sting's so beaten up, he falls off too. Sting then gives Vader a huge samoan drop, and gets a splash off the top rope for 2. Vader then returns the favor with a chokeslam after Race distracts Sting, and gives him a big splash from the top. Vader goes for another, but Sting pops up, and gives him a powerslam in mid-move, for the win at 16:50. Sting's the KING OF CABLE. ****1/2. That's probably one of my favorite matches. It would've been better had Vader been in full-on WHO'S THE MAN mode, but he wasn't, yet. Everything about the match was great. ___________________   Now it's time for BATTLEBOWL. Ok, Tony talked to Paul Hornung before the event...and during the conversation, he said this PPV was on Monday, the 28th of December. MONDAY? What the hell?   The eight participants in BATTLEBOWL are Dan Spivey, Van Hammer, Big Van Vader, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, the Great Muta, Sting and Steve Williams.   Unfortunately, I couldn't keep times, and wikipedia didn't keep elimination times either, so I don't have them. I only have the order of elimination. Before the match, Vader attacked Sting on the entrance ramp. Heh. Sting's then on the ropes, and Vader charges into the ring, taking Sting with him. Van Hammer gets thrown out by Steve Williams, as Dustin Rhodes bulldogs Barry Windham on the ramp. Yeah, that broke something of Windham's, as you could see when he was bleeding later in the match. Sting puts Spivey out, and then, Vader charges into Sting, knocking both he and Sting out. They fight to the back or something, but I was surprised by Windham's blood, so I didn't notice it. The final four are Rhodes, Windham, Muta and Williams. Dustin and Barry beat the crap out of each other, until Williams knocks himself and Rhodes over the top rope. So it's the partners from earlier, Windham and Muta. The crowd liked that. Windham gives Muta a superplex, and then dropkicks Muta over the top. Windham's celebrating, BUT, Muta skins the cat back in, and gives Windham two dropkicks to send him out of the ring. The Great Muta is the winner of BATTLEBOWL. And that's the end of the show, too. 6/10 for a less than spectacular battle royal. ___________________   Rating: Good. It's a must watch show because of the two FANTASTIC matches, but the retardedness of BattleBowl isn't something I would have paid the PPV amount for. When reviewing these, I try to think of the overall rating from the mindset of what I would have thought had I paid the full price for the PPV. I may not have even bought it because of BattleBowl. That's a bad thing. I know I wouldn't have bought BattleBowl '93, although I really want to see it now. Nostalgia factor, and all.   Best Segment: Vader vs. Sting in the King of Cable Final. It was awesome.   Worst Segment: Uh, outside of Erik Watts' dropkick, it has to be Muta vs. Chono. It was awful.   Loudest Sound: Dustin Rhodes, Cactus Jack, Sting, and Vader.   No Sound: Masa Chono, Dan Spivey and Van Hammer, Erik Watts, and Kensuke Sasaki. ___________________   I'll be typing up the Bash at the Beach review in a few days. I'm not promising anything, but if I'm able, I'll post thoughts and not a review about the other shows that are on 24/7 this week.

Guest

Guest

 

Apocalypse of the shoo-ins

So, despite that horrible 3-week stretch of 5-13, I finished 34-26, or 56.7%. I'll try it again next football season.   Week #10 (5-1)   NFL   SWERVE! I hereby resign the office of NFL handicapper. I'm picking the bowl games.   NCAAF   1. Navy +8.5 at Utah. (Utah 35, Navy 32.) Anchors aweigh! My beloved Navy THREW a 58-yard pass in the last minute in order to cover the spread, and then they almost pulled off a marvelous comeback. Good effort, gents. Also, Utah fumbled that ball for a touchback, what the fuck was the replay idiot looking at? 2. Tennessee -3 vs. Wisconsin. (Tennessee 21, Wisconsin 17.) Both teams were dumb in the 4th quarter. 3. Virginia +6 vs. Texas Tech. (Texas Tech 31, Virginia 28.) Early nominee for choke of the year. 4. Georgia -8 vs. Hawaii. (Georgia 41, Hawaii 10.) In order to pick Hawaii here, you'd have to be a Christian who believes in miracles. 5. Virginia Tech -3.5 vs. Kansas. (Kansas 24, Virginia Tech 21.) I don't get it. All I can do is tip my cap to Aqib Talib. 6. Tulsa -4.5 vs. Bowling Green.   Week #9 (2-4)   NFL   1. Tampa Bay -12 vs. Atlanta. 2. Baltimore -3 at Miami. 3. New England -23 vs. NY Jets. 4. Seattle -7 at Carolina. 5. Green Bay -9.5 at St. Louis. 6. Indianapolis -10 at Oakland.   Week #8 (1-5)   NCAAF   NAVY NAVY NAVY ECKEL CAMPBELL RUSH MIDDIES ARMYSUX HAWAII#1   PAUL JOHNSON BETRAYED US   NFL   1. Cleveland -3.5 at NY Jets. Cleveland totally outplayed Arizona last week. AND WON. 2. Tampa Bay -3 at Houston. What's Jewish superstar Sage Rosenfels gonna do? 3. Dallas -11 at Detroit. Looks like the biggest mismatch of the week. 4. Pittsburgh +13 at New England. Belichick didn't go for it on a 4th and goal inside the 5 in the first quarter. I thought he understood the percentages. I still hope for 16-0. 5. St. Louis +7 at Cincinnati. St. Louis does fine against teams that have a weak pass rush. 6. Chicago +3 at Washington. Worst invention ever: cereal crops. Second worst: handguns. (Washington 24, Chicago 16.) Man, I didn't sign up for Todd Collins vs. Brian Griese.   Week #7 (2-4)   NCAAF   UCLA looks tempting (+20, final score USC 24, UCLA 7), but fuck college kids, except the Midshipmen. I love watching the Army/Navy game. (Navy 38, Army 3.) I hope the Boston Belichicks pick up Reggie Campbell. Who needs Brady, Moss, and Welker when you have Campbell and Eckel.   NFL   1. New England -20 at COUGHimore. Good prop bet: Which will be greater, Patriots' number of rushes or Ravens' points? (Both should be somewhere around 3.) (New England 27, Baltimore 24.) The prop bet was a push! Damn, how did Baltimore score so much. 2. Cleveland +1 at Arizona. Edge scares no one. Cards' D lost Adrian Wilson and Eric Green. (Arizona 27, Cleveland 21.) CLEVELAND WON THIS GAME. WINSLOW WAS FORCED OUT. 3. Miami -1 vs. New York Jets. If Miami can handle Thomas Jones and Leon Washington, they should win. (NY Jets 40, Miami 13.) Enjoy your 0-16 season you pieces of shit. Oh yeah, Brady Quinn is way better than John Beck. He fucks Lindy Slinger. 4. Denver -3.5 at Oakland. Rush the ball 50 times please. (Oakland 34, Denver 20.) I'll take the blame on this one. 5. Tampa Bay +3.5 at New Orleans. I know Luke McCown might start, but at least he's better than Gradkowski. (Tampa Bay 27, New Orleans 23.) Yeah, definitely better than Gradkowski. 6. New York Giants -1.5 at Chicago. Giants can pound the ball and will shut down Hester. (NY Giants 21, Chicago 16.) Yeah, that's what happened. We still needed some fortune at the end.   Week #6 (4-2)   NCAAF   Fuck dumbass college kids. They are thinking about sex and schoolwork and careers instead of football.   NFL   1. New England -22 vs. Philadelphia. If I were Vegas I would put it at -35. (New England 31, Philadelphia 28.) I penciled them in too quickly. I'll still take them against Baltimore, though. That is an ideal matchup. 2. Seattle -3 at St. Louis. St. Louis still has a horrid o-line. They just haven't faced good defenses lately. (Seattle 24, St. Louis 19.) AGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA 3. Green Bay -3.5 at Detroit. Ryan Grant is expected to play. (Green Bay 37, Detroit 26.) Total domination after the first quarter. 4. Cleveland -3 vs. Houston. Joe Thomas: Offensive Rookie of the Year. (Cleveland 27, Houston 17.) Cleveland's pass defense played pretty well today. 5. Arizona -10 vs. San Francisco. SF's offense really is pathetic. (San Francisco 37, Arizona 31.) This team hadn't scored more than 20 points all year, and they were starting Trent Dilfer. Damn TWO guys in berserker mode (Gore and Willis). If I had known earlier in the week that David Carr was starting for Carolina, I would have taken New Orleans instead. I should wait until Friday or Saturday to pick. 6. Miami +16 at Pittsburgh. Watch out for Teddy Ballgame Jr.! (Pittsburgh 3, Miami 0.) I am intelligent.   Week #5 (5-1)   NCAAF   1. Missouri -7 at Kansas State. Don't look ahead, fellas. (Missouri 49, Kansas State 32.) They dominated! 2. Duke +6 at Notre Dame. Duke might win the game. (Notre Dame 28, Duke 7.) You got blowed out by Notre Dame in the biggest game of your life. Infantile retards.   NFL   1. New England -15.5 at Buffalo. Seems like another 38-7 romp. (New England 56, Buffalo 10.) I enjoyed seeing the Navy man in there (Eckel). 2. Cleveland -2.5 at Baltimore. Cleveland will throw all over Baltimore. (Cleveland 33, Baltimore 30.) Craziest field goal ever!! 3. Green Bay -9.5 vs. Carolina. Please start David Carr. (Green Bay 31, Carolina 17.) GB let them have some cheap TDs. 4. Seattle -5 vs. Chicago. Hello Sexy Rexy. (Seattle 30, Chicago 23.) Hack is a monster.   Week #4 (3-3)   NCAAF   1. Kansas State -7.5 at Nebraska. Nebraska appears to be dead. (Nebraska 73, Kansas State 31.) That's the most improbable result ever. 2. Kentucky -3.5 at Vanderbilt. One of those mysterious lines... (Kentucky 27, Vanderbilt 20.) Who would have bet on Vanderbilt here? 3. Air Force -2.5 at Notre Dame. It was so fun with Navy last week. (Air Force 41, Notre Dame 24.) Thanks again Notre Dame!   NFL   1. Seattle -10 vs. San Francisco. SF is the worst offense WITH Frank Gore. (Seattle 24, San Francisco 0.) This game went exactly as expected. 2. Indianapolis -3.5 at San Diego. SD's ego was shattered. (San Diego 23, Indianapolis 21.) Oh fuck off. 6 INTs? 2 return TDs? 2 missed FGs by Vinatieri? Indy would cover this line 9 out of 10 times. 3. Detroit +1.5 at Arizona. Detroit's D knows how to GET LOW! (Arizona 31, Detroit 21.) 8 carries for -18 yards???   Week #3 (4-2)   NCAAF   1. East Carolina -4.5 at Memphis. ECU isn't terrible and Memphis is. (East Carolina 56, Memphis 40.) Woo. 2. Navy +3.5 at Notre Dame. Navy is tired of ND's power trip. (Navy 46, Notre Dame 44.) YEAH NAVY! GAME OF THE YEAR! (Ok, maybe Appy St./Michigan and Trinity/Millsaps are better.) 3. New Mexico +4 at TCU. LaDainian isn't walking through that door. (TCU 37, New Mexico 0.) Fuck the heck?   NFL   1. San Diego -7 at Minnesota. LaDainian is walking through that door. (Minnesota 35, San Diego 17.) Ah, I should have known that Adrian Peterson would break the single-game rushing record. 2. Tennessee -4 vs. Carolina. It's David Carr. (Tennessee 20, Carolina 7.) Too easy baby. 3. Indianapolis +6.5 vs. New England. PEYTON MANNING FOREVER. (New England 24, Indianapolis 20.) Here's what I wrote to one of my friends on 30 October: "I don't think the Colts will get 'blowed out' (as Emmitt Smith would say). The only major differences between the two are that the Pats pass a bit better, and the Colts run a bit better. Although I've been a Colts fan for about a decade, I'm enjoying the EVIL Patriots run. So, I'll pick the Pats to win, but I don't think they'll cover the 6-point spread."   Week #2 (5-1)   NCAAF   1. Kansas -2 at Texas A&M. I expect Kansas to be 11-0 when they host Missouri. (Kansas 19, Texas A&M 11.) Kansas and their fat coach almost blew it after dominating all game. 2. Boise State -3 at Fresno State. Fresno isn't really that good. (Boise State 34, Fresno State 21.) Nailed it. I am the hammer. 3. New Mexico State +28 at Hawaii. NMSU should have enough offense. (Hawaii 50, New Mexico State 13.) Chase Holbrook is a little bitch. Don't bet on bad teams.   NFL   1. Cleveland -3 at St. Louis. Wow! (Cleveland 27, St. Louis 20.) Don't mess with Derek Anderson. 2. Indianapolis -7 at Carolina. *LoL*. (Indianapolis 31, Carolina 7.) *LoL*. What an insane line. 3. Pittsburgh -3.5 at Cincinnati. Let's try it again. (Pittsburgh 24, Cincinnati 13.) Nothing surprising here.   Week #1 (3-3)   NCAAF   1. South Florida -2.5 at Rutgers. (Rutgers 30, South Florida 27.) Fucking loser Grothe. Watch out ladies, Matt Groethe is a beta male. Don't let him continue his inferior genetic lineage with you. Find a real man. Ugh, dumbass college kids. 2. Auburn +11 at Louisiana State. (Louisiana State 30, Auburn 24.) Yeah, that line was absurd. Nice choke, Auburn. 3. Kansas State +3 at Oklahoma State. (Oklahoma State 41, Kansas State 39.) Hahaha. I thought Kansas State would win.   NFL   1. New England -17 at Miami. (New England 49, Miami 28.) Free money. 2. Pittsburgh -3.5 at Denver. (Denver 31, Pittsburgh 28.) What happened to the Steelers' pass defense? 3. Tampa Bay +2.5 at Detroit. (Detroit 23, Tampa Bay 16.) Bucs had 150 more yards but were -2 in turnovers.   Tactics: 1. Generally, I don't really care about home/away. REFERNCES [sic]: Appalachian St. at Michigan. 2. I don't care at all about streaks or previous seasons. REFERNCES: Navy at Notre Dame. 3. There are no 'magic potions.' REFERNCES: "DeShaun Foster always owns Atlanta." 4. Watch out for 'betrayal' teams. REFERNCES: Arizona, San Diego. 5. Generally, I look for games that have less than 4 point spreads, but one team is definitely better than the other, and/or the matchup is great. REFERNCES: Cleveland. 6. Offensive lines are extremely important, but common people don't understand this concept very well. REFERNCES: Cleveland, St. Louis. 7. Wait for injury reports about playmakers (Albert Haynesworth) and anti-playmakers (David Carr). 8. Don't go the other way just because a line looks too good to be true. REFERNCES: Kentucky -3.5 at Vanderbilt 9. Avoid confusing what you want to happen with what will happen. I tend to want unlikely things to happen.

Xavier Cromartie

Xavier Cromartie

 

1/1: Getting A Kick Out Of This Ad

11:45 a.m.   • So I have the Outback Bowl on as background noise and I think I recently heard the ESPN announcer say some guy from Tennessee just ran into the end zone for the first down. Yeah, I know it's a live broadcast and you often mix up your words (that's why I don't think many politician flubs are that funny -- a person might have been campaigning for 12 straight hours and then slip up on a word or phrase), but this got a chuck out of me.   5 p.m.   • New year, new change to KK's Korner. I'm going to start putting more recent updates below the older ones. A few times I noted that I was continuing a story and spoiled a few tales by having the startling conclusions at the top of the page.   • Was flipping channels this afternoon and noted the following:   1) It’s nice to hear Pat Summerall still announcing every now and then. I think the reason for my feelings on this matter is that he’s not going to be around forever.   2) I saw parts of that “winter classic” where the NHL held a hockey game outdoors in Buffalo. I like the idea, and having such a game every year would help the league in terms of publicity and the like. However, who thought it’d be a good idea to have this game take place during college football’s biggest day, outside of the BcS title game?   10:30 p.m.   • I generally don't like their ads, and I've heard bad things about Allstate from some people I know. However, this ad made me laugh out loud the first time I watched it, even though I figured out what was going on early on in the ad.     • Speaking of football, this Sugar Bowl -- ugh. There better be one heck of a second-half rally or we won't have a champion in this year's REGULAR SEASON TOURNAMENT.  

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

12/31: See Hitlery Next Year In The White House

8:30 p.m.   • New job, new likely addition to the family, looks like 2008 is going to be one interesting year. Then again…                                                                     Shit.   • So today at work I was called into a staff meeting to go over the new batch of envelopes we all have to stuff. This is awesome. Wednesday could quite possibly be my last full day on the job, and I’m going to spend it stuffing even more mother fuckin’ envelopes.     To make things better, I got an e-mail while I was away from someone I deal with whose project I re-created for her on a larger format because she wanted it to be bigger. I told her that I thought this was a bad idea, but after going through several time-consuming drafts she now tells me that she wants it to be back how it used to look. Oh I can't wait for Thursday (maybe Friday, depending on my mood).

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

The Final 2007 Year in Review

-Milky made a much needed return, helping to make TSM interesting again.   -Leena was banned for being a cunt who takes the internet as serious business, and made many aborted attempts at a return.   -Ron Paul supporters are fucking crazy.   -Chavez didn't become President for life (thank God), thus hurting the feelings of Cena's Writer and C-Bacon.   -Huckabee and Romney got more support, while Rudy continues to tank.   -Rosie became the worst fucking celebrity on Earth, left The View, revealed she's a Truther, and the list goes on.   -Brittney attempted a comeback...and failed.   -Something happened involving Chris Benoit...wildpegasus han't been heard from since.   -Hillary lost some footing in grounds to her goal to become president.   -Larry Craig has a wide stance, if you get my drift (hurr hurr hurr)   -Athiests yelled at each other on Youtube. So much for religion being the blame for everything. Here's a rule: guys who are teenagers and/or live at home with there parents should not be Athiests, because they can't say things intelligently. (teens and people who live at home, not Athiests.)   -Fark finally joined the ranks of Free Republic and Democratic Underground, as it is now a haven for truthers, trolls, conservative nutjobs, wanna be communists, and angry Athiests.   -Anna Nicole died. Her last movie is Oh, and yes, that's Chyna. Speaking of which, her appearence on Larry King was something else. She'll be on "Celebrity Rehab" in January, and the fact that such a show exists kills my soul a bit.  -Fuck Chocolate Rain, this is the best video on Youtube.   -"Grindhouse" tanked, yet "Alvin and the chipmunks" made a ton of cash. For fuck's sake America. Oh, and "No Country for Old Men" is the best movie of the year.   -Deon became the worst poster on TSM, and had his name changed to Douchebag. Carlito Brigante's stupidity continues unabated, as he got a girl pregnant and is getting in another fight. To quote snuffbox, "One day, ehme, the internet will take you as seriously as you take it."

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Review: WWE No Mercy 2007, from Chicago, Illinois, 10/7/2007.

I wanted to watch this, so... ___________________   At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon and William Regal come to the ring. They talk about John Cena's injury, and present a new WWE Champion, who just so happens to be Randy Orton. Yay! Not really, though. He stands there for a long time, and William Regal congratulates him. Orton's supposed to pick who he defends his title against tonight, BUT, Triple H comes down to the ring. He congratulates Orton, but he wants a title match. Orton says no...so HHH makes fun of Vince. And he gets his title shot, right now. The long-ish opening is too much like RAW, meaning that I don't like it. ___________________   So, yeah, it's HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title. It's a good match, albeit a bit truncated, given the later events of the night. No PEDIGREE, no RKO. HHH pins Orton after a roll-up, when Orton charges into the ringpost, on accident, through the 2nd and top turnbuckles. Time of the fall was 11:06, and it was a ***1/4 match. The ending surprised me, as although I knew the results of the event before hand, I didn't know how the results were had. So that was cool. HHH celebrates for a long time, and we cut to... ___________________   Vince being disappointed in Orton, backstage. Then, a WrestleMania XXIV promo. Ok. ___________________   The next match is a surprise match, between Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Paul London and Brian Kendrick, who are facing Mr. Kennedy, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade (World Tag Team Champions, meaning the latter two). There were many cool spots in this match, too many to count, at that. I liked when Hardy did the spot where he runs along the guardrail to jump onto his opponent, but in this case, he tripped and fell at the end. I don't think he was trying to do that. Anyhow, Kennedy ended the match by pinning London after the GREEN BAY PLUNGE, at 8:05. That move looks tough to take. **. ___________________   HHH and Batista encounter each other backstage, until Vince McMahon shows up. He says HHH has to defend his title against Umaga tonight. Vince and HHH have the same looking nose. It's creepy. ___________________   The next match is Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. CM Punk for the ECW Title. Good thing this was short, cause I can't look at Viscera for very long. Striker interferes after a Punk missile dropkick, and that gets V DQ'd, at 1:37. So, why is this on PPV again? DUD. V beats up Punk after the match, and Punk does the whole internal bleeding thing. Just, whatever. ___________________   Matt Hardy and MVP have a pizza eating contest next. Maria is going to keep score for Hardy, and Melina is going to keep score for MVP. Hardy wins, and barfs on MVP. MVP had a REALLY hard time not laughing when Hardy did that. Really. Short, and to the point. Well, it really wasn't, but why should I say more? ___________________   A video package precedes the following match between Umaga and HHH for the WWE Title. Of course, the video was about their 'feud'. HHH pins him with the PEDIGREE at 6:33, after Umaga gave him some tough shots to the ribs. Standard RAW match, so there's really not much to say. *1/2. ___________________   Saveus.22 promo. That's been a real success. ___________________   A promo follows, with Ranjin Singh, Khali's manager. Khali is praying to some Hindu god of violence. I thought this was going to be the Punjabi Prison match. It's not, thankfully. ___________________   This is the first Smackdown match of the night. Well, it took long enough. Who the fuck is this ring announcer? He sucks. Anyway, the match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. There's an elaborate ending, so it'll take a while to explain. Rey kicks Finlay in the head with Finlay on the apron, so he drops down, throat first along the 2nd rope. Basically in 619 position. Rey went up to the top and gave Finlay a legdrop, which caused Finlay to hit his head on the ground, outside the ring. So he's knocked unconscious and all, except he's faking the injury. No time given, because the bell never rang to end the match. You could see him peek his head up, deliberately so, so that the viewers at home knew he was faking. Anyway, he gets put on a stretcher, Rey gets all sad, the referee gives the X, and the crowd starts chanting "Finlay." UNTIL, Finlay gets off the stretcher, and attacks Rey. HARHARHAR. I actually liked that. He beats him up bad, until he leaves. **1/2. Match was sound, but not spectacular. ___________________   Vince and HHH again, as Vince tells HHH he'll face Orton in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. I generally HATE Last Man Standing matches. ___________________   Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle is next, for the Women's Title. The battle of terrible theme music!!! Phoenix finishes the match with a fisherman's buster at 4:32, in a finish that only establishes that one, if not both of these wrestlers do not know how to work. It was spot, spot, lay around, Phoenix spot, finish. DUD's are in order. Jerry "the King" Lawler interviews Beth Phoenix after the match, she's perfect and this is a new era...but who cares? ___________________   NOW, we have the Punjabi Prison match between The Great Khali and Batista, for the World Heavyweight Championship. There's one thing I just don't get...why weren't the rules explained? At least, I don't think they were. The rules are...you go through the first of the two cages, to get through the first, you call for a door to be opened. You have a minute to get through, or the door is locked, and closed. There are four doors. If you do not get through the doors, you must climb over the first cage. To win the match, you have to climb over both cages. Basically, this is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in wrestling. The match is really bad, and really slow. No wonder Rey was in the last PPV Title Match. All the doors get closed, so both wrestlers have to climb over the first cage. Batista tries to climb out, but Khali pulls him down to the ring, at which point, Khali climbs over the first cage. As he begins to climb up the 2nd cage, Batista climbs up the first, eventually getting over it. As Batista climbs down, he realizes that he needs to make a rash decision. So, he jumps from the top area of the first cage, all the way to the 2nd cage. Batista makes it down to the floor first, because he's much smaller. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too sad had Batista fallen to the ground. I don't care for him. Anyway, Batista retains his title. DUD, and only because of that insane leap. That kept it from sure -*'s. 14:47 was the time. ___________________   The last match of the night is Randy Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title, but before the match, HHH has an interview with Todd Grisham. This is a dangerous business, and all that. Anyway, I'll just give the rundown of the big spots. HHH pushes Orton onto the ECW announce table from the RAW announce table, which gets a 9 count. In case you didn't know, the only way to win the match is if your opponent stays down for a 10 count. But I think you already know that. Orton DDT's HHH onto a chair, which gets 9 for both guys. An RKO into a chair, much like Raven does/did with the droptoehold into the chair, gets a 9 count. HHH tells Orton to suck it, and falls back down, for a 9 count. Orton slingshots HHH into the ringpost, at which point HHH does a bladejob. These events are in order, but stuff happens between them. HHH hits Orton in the head with the chair, and in an event that's hard to describe, Orton's head is placed between the portion of the steel steps where it connects to the ringpost, and HHH hits him there with a chair. That looked cool. Crowd is loving this, but it only gets a 9 count. Both men climb on the RAW announce table, and Orton gives HHH an RKO. It doesn't break the announce table, though. Still, that's it. HHH can't get up at the 10 count, and Orton wins the WWE Title, at 20:25. ****1/4, and a hell of a match, although LMS matches are never my favorite. Saved the end of the PPV, too. ___________________   Rating: Good. Two *** matches in this day and age gives a PPV a good rating. Not only that, but it was enjoyable throughout.   Best Segment: Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match.   Worst Segment: Batista vs. Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match.   Loudest Sound: HHH, Randy Orton, Batista and Finlay's attack on Rey. Like I said, I try to put two babyfaces and two heels over here.   No Sound: Big Daddy V, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Umaga. None of them got a reaction. ___________________   I'll post the Starrcade '92 review tomorrow. My hand's not feeling any better, unfortunately.

Guest

Guest

 

Way to go, OH HI OH

Some recent cases in Ohio demonstrating how f'd up we are.   Case #1   A man's home is invaded by two robbers. One of the robbers stabs the man's son. The man has a gun in the house and shoots one of the robbers. Police arrive and while performing their investigation see a small bag of pot out in the open in his house. It also happens that the man disdains banks and keeps his savings in a safe in his house. Police seize every penny of his savings under the authority of a law that is intended to seize the profits of drug dealers. Eventually the city where the man resides takes his money...all of it, permanently. They take the money because they demand that he produce receipts, checks, etc. for the money and he doesn't have it. So they assume it's drug money. The guy is guilty until he proves that he's innocent. Bassackwards, sounds to me.     Case #2   Columbus Dispatch   Columbus, Ohio has an odd law that allows women to sunbathe topless in city parks. The police have begun an operation whereby they have an undercover policewoman hanging out at a park topless. This is done to catch perverts, etc. In one case a firefighter (the man had driven by the park on several occasions and seen her) went over to sit with her. I believe he went on his own volition but I'm not sure. This guy was a normal citizen by all accounts, was not suspected of any "perverted behavior" at the park. So he sits down and she begins to come on to him, eventually asking him to unzip and show her his wang, wanger, john thomas, you choose the term. I repeat, she asked him, he was not the one who offered to "pull it out". He then "pulled it out" and immediately several cops came rushing out of the bushes nearby to arrest him for indecent exposure. Way to go boys, you just saved the citizens from a real criminal there. Nice job. The judge was not swayed by defense claims of entrapment and found the guy guilty. What the hell, Columbus. Knock this crap off. Get your lady cop skanks to put a f**kin shirt on and leave men alone.

Swift Terror

Swift Terror

 

12/30: Looking At The GOP Prez Candidates Makes Me Want To Drink

10:45 p.m.   • OK, for the love of God, Bob Costas, please stop making that forced laugh on Sunday Night Football whenever Keith Olbermann makes a wisecrack during his highlights. I've said it before: Even though Keith should be strung up for treason, I think he's excellent at doing sports highlights. You don't need to have laughter in the background. Trust me. It's not necessary.   9 p.m.   • Oh hell no.     I'll tell you what. The GOP choice of candidates aren't really doing much for me, outside of Rudy. The only thing I like about Huckabee is that he's for a national sales tax. However, that's about the ONLY think I like about him. Romney is just there -- no way he'd win in a general election. Thompson: meh. I didn't bother reading the title to the following link on Drudge, but it pretty much speaks for itself:     The Jesus freaks are for Romney and Huckabee and non-Jesus freaks are for McCain and Giuliani. Add the percentages up and it looks like the Republican voters are split with 32 percent going for Romney and Huckabee and 32 percent going for Giuliani. Who's backing Thompson? People who watch "Law and Order." It's still too early to see who will break out.   But what about the Democrats? You came to the wrong place for that. I still say Hitlery is going to get the nomination because if Obama or Edwards takes a big lead nationally, they'll wind up dead.   • I just noticed I forgot to give a TB score for the Steeler game. Oops.   11:45 a.m.   • This local story has been on my nerves for a while. Basically, the county that engulfs Shittsburgh is going to tax booze to fix a funding gap in our region’s pisspoor Port Authority system.     Now here’s what pisses me off: Why the hell do restaurant owners have to suffer because the government is unable to maintain an efficient transit system. Isn’t it great that you can tax things that have nothing to do with a funding issue? Wow, that will really make the Port Authority change its ways. Why, in two years when nothing changes, the Allegheny County can tax potato chips or universal remotes!   I liked this newsbit in particular.     Dan Onorato is the county executive, and while I like a number of things he does (even for a Democrat), he’s wrong on this one. And that’s also why I live outside Allegheny County.   I often wonder why other businesses don’t itemize the true costs of their products, especially gas stations. Fine, put the final cost for a gallon of fuel on your marquee sign. However, while a person is filling up at $3 per gallon, put a chart on each of your pumps showing how much of a take your friendly federal, state and local governments have on your wallet.   9:15 a.m.   • Since just about every team is resting its starters, I'll do the same. However, by "resting my starters," I mean "give picks with no explaining."   Buffalo (2.5) Carolina Cincinnati Dallas Green Bay (3.5) Jacksonville New Orleans Baltimore Seattle San Francisco Indianapolis (3.5) Minnesota San Diego Arizona (6.5) <---- called an audible Kansas City

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

12/29: The Great Nursing Home Roundup

8 p.m.   • Gimmie the Pats.   1:30 p.m.   • So in honor of my soon-to-be departure from my current job, let me take a trip down memory lane for what I like to call the “Nursing Home Roundup.”   It was just over a year ago and my idiot boss was getting ready for our quarterly marketing meeting. Despite our head salesman also being on this marketing committee, he (nor I) never have any idea as to what would be discussed at this event. All that would happen is that our Board of Directors would come from out of state and rubber-stamp everything my idiot boss says. Right before this particular meeting started, the idiot tells our head salesman (I’ll call him Mike), to “follow my lead.” The idiot then gives a presentation about a newfound guaranteed issue promotion to get more money. This left Mike speechless and let me tell you why.   I’m not an insurance salesman, and I doubt you are as well, so let me do an overview of what a guaranteed issue plan is. When you get life insurance, you have fill out some paperwork and undergo a medical examination. It is usually after these examinations that the insurer finds something wrong with the insuree and jacks up the original premium from the advertised amount that initially attracted the insuree. What a guaranteed issue plan does is eliminate the need for a medical examination. So who does this plan attract? Those people who are unable to get life insurance due to their health condition. Get it? Got it? Good.   Right after this meeting, Mike was livid because he said this program was a terrible way to grow the organization. In previous meetings there was talk about getting insurance plans together to attract new members, and all this guaranteed issue plan would do is keep squeezing our already dwindling supply of customers. In addition, he said the only people who would get this plan are those too sick or old to get any other kind of insurance. And he was right. (And because this was a Guaranteed Issue plan, Mike [or any of our agents] didn’t get a commission on any sales they did.)   After manually stuffing envelopes for a week (yes, my powers-that-be don’t believe in outsourcing this menial labor or investing in a folding machine), we mailed out more than 17,000 solicitations to our customers. What was our response rate? Years ago I was told in a college class that if a direct mailing campaign gets a three-to-five percent response rate, then champagne is poured and parties are had. We got less than a one percent response – I think the final number was around 110. And out of these 110, more than half were people older than 65 years of age. In fact, one person DIED just three weeks after being approved. Why do I call this event the “Nursing Home Roundup”? Because that’s just what we did. Instead of trying to market to young families or several other demographic groups that Mike said our organization desperately needed to reach, we went with those whose address is at the local hospice.   When the results of the Nursing Home Roundup were given at a Board Meeting several months later, it was hilarious to see my idiot boss try to spin this disaster into a positive and said the following: “Did the Guaranteed Issue Plan produce what I thought it would? No. Am I disappointed by the results? No. This was the short in the arm that we needed.” It was then a director asked about some “costs” that weren’t included in my idiot boss’ report, pointing out that labor costs for the dozen or so office employees who stuffed the envelopes for a week weren’t listed (the cost to mail these letters out was well in the thousands – near the $10,000 mark). The idiot’s response? “You can do that.” By “do that” he meant “You can factor that in.” See, when you work with an unethical piece of shit, you have to listen to what this person actually says. Trying to get a liar to give you a direct “yes” or “no” answer can be quite a challenge. However, it’s also really fun to do. Here’s another example of watching what someone says.   As our head insurance salesman, you would assume that Mike would be out on the road attending various public events, meeting people and making contacts. Uh, no. Despite having a $5,000 expense budget (which is a joke in itself due to its pittance of an amount), Mike is never allowed to spend this money. Mike only went to two events this past year with costs amounting to $800. The first trip he went on was for an insurance seminar presentation, and the second trip was some annual outing where he meets and greets clients and prospective members. This event was halfway across the country and only put in expenses for gas, tolls and lodging. When it was all said and done, that amount was just under $500. Once he turned in his expense form, he was asked, “In what capacity did you attend this event?” You see, Mike was dressed in “casual” attire and roamed throughout the event’s location talking to people as if he was “one of them” rather than being dressed in a stuffy suit. For some odd reason, people tend to feel more comfortable talking about life insurance and other financial issues in a casual atmosphere. I have no idea why. I would think walking into a sterile office environment with a suit-and-tie salesman would be ideal place to talk about someone a person knows nothing about.   Why am I bringing this up? Because one time a Director asked the idiot boss why Mike’s ability to travel was limited. The idiot’s response: “Mike can go anywhere he wants.” See, Mike can go anywhere he wants, but it would have to be on his own dime, which of course he can’t afford to do. However, my idiot boss can spend several thousand dollars of our organization’s money to take a useless trip to California.   And there's plenty more where this came from.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

12/28: Pissing On My Workplace

11:59 p.m.   • So the paperwork finally came through and I'll be working at another place of employment in '08. The question now is when do I quit my current job. For as much as I want to get the hell out of there, I just know if I do so Monday, they will do everything in their power to screw me out of my vacation/holiday time for the past week. Now I'm in the mood for some workplace stories, so expect a few in the near future.   12:45 p.m.   • Good boy.  

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

Keep it real Jay, Dell dude

Jay Leno has 15 vintage Vincent motorcycles. This goes against my usual attitude (if you're wealthy buy whatever you want, be conspicuous I don't care) but in this case I think that's bullsh*t. Those bikes are too rare for him to hoard 15 of them. Take 2 and move on Jay. Let some other wealthy people have one. The Vincent bikes are classics made from 1924 to 1955 in England and are rare and highly prized. The Black Shadow and the Black Lightning are two famous models. They probably became famous in America for being the fastest production bikes of the time and also Hunter S Thompson wrote about them. Currently there is a Vincent "Black Shadow" on sale on Ebay for $45,000.   Which leads me to my next topic....   Whatever happened to the "Dude yer gettin a Dell" guy? He must be somewhere.

Swift Terror

Swift Terror

 

12/27: More Fun At Work, On The Campaign Trail

3 p.m.   • More fun at work. Peep the following e-mail exchange from earlier today   “Do you happen to have the minutes from Meeting X in Connecticut?”   “Yes.”   “Well, I need them.”   “You want me to bring them upstairs?”   “Yes, since you didn’t let me know you had them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”   “But they (the minutes) were addressed to me.”   “I know that but you know that you don’t “get” them.”   Just because they were addressed to me I should have known they were intended for someone else. Ok then.   • Now we all know some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male. But what about some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim female?     Oh, yeah. Killing them. That would suck.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

Tap me on the shoulder for the Super Bowl, Xmas

I don't get the buildup to the Patriots/Giants game. In order to equal the 1972 Dolphins they will have to win the Super Bowl. Until they get to the Super Bowl, I'm not interested. And besides, aren't the Giants already in the playoffs, which means they'll probably be resting players at some point and/or not playing all out to avoid injury?     My Xmas haul: 3 CDs, Mission Impossible Season 3, Lightscribe DVD+R discs, Quesadilla maker, Gamestop giftcard, a papoose type baby carrier, automatic adjustable wrench, ceiling light fixture for our kitchen (which I get to install) and some cash.      

Swift Terror

Swift Terror

 

12/26: Black Friday > Day After Xmas

10 p.m.   • So the better half and I went out to the malls and shit today for some DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS sales. Meh. I don’t really care for the “Day After” sales because they’re not really that good. Plus everybody and their mother are out either returning gifts or spending money/gift cards they go the day before. As an added bonus, due to all the shit I’ve eaten for the last few days I think it finally caught up with me. Blech. To make matters worse, it wasn’t that cold out today (damn you global warming), and the jacket I had on was making me hella hot. Add up all these factors and I had the mother of all headaches today. Bummer. When we got home today I went straight for the Tylenol and the bed. I woke up about 10 minutes ago and figure that I better get my ass to sleep rather soon if I’m to properly deal with going in to work tomorrow. Then again, work probably won’t be all that bad, especially since I’ll have off Friday and Tuesday. Mother fucker, JJ is rolling around on the computer desk and he just fell onto the keyboard. It’s rather odd: the upstairs rooms seem to be his “lair,” although Max generally hangs up here, especially during the summer months. However, JJ will just sit up here for days at a time, only coming down for meals and whenever he gets a spurt of energy. Well, at least my headache’s gone.   Oh, I almost forgot (or wanted to forget): We paid a stop to Babies R Us. When she was pricing cribs and all that other baby stuff she was aghast at the prices and said, "where are the baby items for those on a budget?" My reply: "Target." That actually got a laugh out of her. Oh, and there are these things called "Pregger Pops" that are supposed to help with morning sickness and all that other shit knocked up women go through. That's all I got.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

 

HOF Profiles: Tim Raines

Tim Raines - Leftfielder   Montreal Expos 1979-1990, 2001 Chicago White Sox 1991-1995 New York Yankees 1996-1998 Oakland Athletics 1999 Baltimore Orioles 2001 Florida Marlins 2002   Awards 1986 N.L. Silver Slugger - OF 1987 All-Star Game MVP   All-Star Selections: 7 (1981, 1982, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987)   League Leader 1981: Stolen Bases 1982: Stolen Bases 1983: Runs, Stolen Bases 1984: Doubles, Stolen Bases 1986: Batting Average, OBP, Runs Created 1987: Runs   Career Ranks Games: 48th Runs: 46th Hits: 68th TB: 100th BB: 33rd SB: 5th RC: 51st   Best Performance April 18, 1994 - Chicago at Boston Hit three homeruns against the Red Sox.   Hall of Fame Stats Black Ink: Batting - 20 (105) (Average HOFer ≈ 27) Gray Ink: Batting - 114 (176) (Average HOFer ≈ 144) HOF Standards: Batting - 46.8 (91) (Average HOFer ≈ 50) HOF Monitor: Batting - 90.0 (175) (Likely HOFer > 100)   Similar Batters in HOF: 5 (Lou Brock, Max Carey, Fred Clarke, Harry Hooper, Enos Slaughter) Other Similar Batters: Kenny Lofton, Willie Davis, Jimmy Ryan, Jose Cruz, Julio Franco     Year-by-Year Win Shares & Wins Above Replacement Level (WARP3)   1979: 0/0.0 1980: 0/0.1 1981: 18/5.6 1982: 21/5.5 1983: 29/9.1 1984: 32/9.0 1985: 36/11.8 1986: 32/9.9 1987: 34/10.3 1988: 19/6.4 1989: 25/8.1 1990: 19/5.1 1991: 19/6.5 1992: 28/10.2 1993: 19/5.9 1994: 14/4.6 1995: 14/4.8 1996: 7/2.1 1997: 9/3.3 1998: 11/3.3 1999: 1/0.6 2001: 3/1.4 2002: 0/0.1   Career Win Shares: 390 Career WARP3: 123.9   My Stupid Opinion   Second greatest lead off hitter of all-time who should be a slam dunk, first ballot Hall of Famer this year but won't be. In The New Bill James Historical Baseball Abstract, which was published in 2001 right near the end of Raines' career, James ranked Raines as the 8th best leftfielder of all-time behind Ted Williams, Stan Musial, Barry Bonds, Rickey Henderson, Carl Yastrzemski, Joe Jackson, and Al Simmons. You could make a legitimate argument that from 1985 to 1987 Raines was the MVP of the National League each season yet he failed to crack the Top 5 in the writer's vote in those years. Playing his prime years in Montreal and being overshadowed by Henderson certainly hurt the national media's perception of him. Maybe also hurt by that he probably hung around a few years longer than he should have but he'd hardly be the first HOF to do that. The very small sample of writer ballots that have become public are at least semi-encouraging as it appears he'll probably end up on between 30-40% of the ballots which isn't bad for someone the writers don't view as a first ballot HOF.

Bored

Bored

 

12/25: Xmas Stuff

9 p.m.   • Slept in a bit this morning. Got Season 10 of South Park and a wireless remote controller from the better half. Got money and gift cards from the in-laws. With the plethora of DVDs I purchased this holiday season for myself, and with the lack of appealing after-Christmas sales that the local circular had for tomorrow, I think I'm going to hold onto these cards until some better sales come my way (New Year's/MLK/Presidents/etc.) Exciting stuff, I know. After I post this entry, I'll be on the phone to mom to let her know that she will, barring a miscarriage, become a grandmother. Oh, and also that the 20+ containers of stuff she has stored in our house needs to go in the next six months. I just knew there were some plusses to getting the Mrs. kkk preggers.

kkktookmybabyaway

kkktookmybabyaway

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