3 p.m.
• What a proud day for my people.
Then again, after it's all said and done, I'm sure each of them will be getting about $20.
I wonder if this incident was part of the HATE CRIME stats that are rising?
LOL at the BBC surprised at this news. Yeah, there's no racism at all up north. Somebody didn't see "Gangs of New York."
ACC
Bowls: BCS/Orange, Chick-Fil-A, Gator, Champs Sports, Music City, Meineke Car Care, Emerald, Humanitarian
Locks: Boston College, Clemson, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Virginia, Virginia Tech, Wake Forest
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Maryland, Miami, N.C. State
Maryland/N.C. State is a loser goes home game this Saturday and the winner likely goes to a bowl. I only say likely because if Miami some how gets it's shit together and upsets Boston College that will give the conference nine eligible teams with eight bids. Even if Miami upsets BC they are a longshot as they played in the Humanitarian Bowl last year so they'd have to hope the Emerald Bowl grabs them over a 7-5 team and then the Humanitarian would have to pick that team over the Maryland/N.C. State winner. You can't officially rule out any conference yet at getting two BCS bids but the only scenario the ACC has is if Virginia Tech beats Virginia this week and then loses to Boston College in the conference title game. The Hokies conceivably could still be in the Top 14 at the end of the year, and definitely Top 18 if the BCS is forced to expand the at large pool. Now assuming Miami loses and the Virginia Tech scenario plays out where they get a BCS at large bid then that would leave the Humantarian Bowl as an open bid.
Big XII
Bowls: BCS/Fiesta, Cotton, Holiday, Gator or Sun, Alamo, Insight, Independence, Texas
Locks: Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Colorado, Kansas State, Nebraska
I mistakenly said last week Oklahoma State had locked up a bid as for some reason I thought they already had six wins but they do. No changes from last week, Colorado/Nebraska will play for a bid on Friday, and Kansas State needs to beat Fresno State to become eligible. If they lose the Texas Bowl will be an open bid as there's no scenario where the Big XII doesn't get two BCS bids.
Big East
Bowls: BCS, Gator or Sun, Meineke Car Care, International, PapaJohns.com
Locks: Cincinnati, Connecticut, Rutgers, South Florida, West Virginia
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Louisville
Rutgers locked up a bid with their win over Pitt. Louisville needs UConn to beat West Virginia to win the Big East as that would likely give the conference two BCS bids as the Mountaineers would probably still be around the bottom of the Top 10. Then the Cardinals need to beat Rutgers a week from Thursday to become eligible. If West Virginia wraps up the Big East this Saturday, Louisville is done.
Big Ten
Bowls: BCS/Rose, Capital One, Outback, Alamo, Champs Sports, Insight, Motor City
Locks: Illinois, Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, Ohio State
Near Locks: Indiana, Michigan State, Purdue
On the Bubble: None
I have the three 7-5 teams as near locks because the Big Ten as things stand at the moment won't have enough bids for all three. Now it is still possible that Illinois, if enough things go there way, can slip into a BCS bowl which then would give the conference enough bids. If that doesn't happen Purdue is probably the odd team out but they'd be a good bet to grab the likely Armed Forces Bowl open bid. What they have to worry about is if the SEC ends up with a 7-5 team without a conference bid and if the Armed Forces ends up being the only open bid which then the Boilermakers could be sitting at home.
Conference USA
Bowls: Liberty, GMAC, Texas, PapaJohns.com, Hawaii, New Orleans
Locks: East Carolina, Houston, Memphis, Southern Miss, Tulsa, UCF
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: None
Everything is set here beyond where everyone is going. Southern Miss and Memphis are ranked 86th and 90th respectively in the BCS yet they are locked up for bowls.
MAC
Bowls: Motor City, GMAC, International
Locks: Bowling Green
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Ball State, Central Michigan, Miami of Ohio
So in the MAC not everyone plays the some number of conference games, some play seven and some play eight. Now because of that the divisions are decided by divisional record only, not conference record. Follow me so far? Central Michigan and Ball State, the 1st and 2nd place teams in the West division, don't play each other this year. Who the fuck came up with this? As for the bids, Bowling Green is going, um, bowling and the rest is a mess.
Mountain West
Bowls: Las Vegas, Poinsettia, Armed Forces, New Mexico
Locks: Air Force, BYU, Utah
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: New Mexico, TCU
While Conference USA steals bids, someone in the Mountain West is probably going to have it's heart broken and it will likely be an 8-4 New Mexico team (assuming they beat 2-9 UNLV). Now you'd think New Mexico would get to go to the New Mexico Bowl but the bowl put a rule in for itself that it couldn't pick the Lobos more than onece in three years. So because of that if TCU gets win #7 as expected over San Diego State, there will likely be no bowl game for New Mexico unless there ends up being three open bids or enough of the 6-5 teams lose their last game then they'd need two as obviously Purdue would get one before them. Again Memphis is ranked 90th in the country and is going to a bowl game, while an eight win team (or maybe an 7-5 SEC or Big Ten team) probably isn't.
Pac-10
Bowls: BCS/Rose, Holiday, Sun, Las Vegas, Emerald, Armed Forces
Locks: Arizona State, California, Oregon, Oregon State, USC
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Arizona, UCLA
Before Dennis Dixon went all Boobie Miles on Thursday, the conference seemed assured two BCS bids. Now it's still a good bet but we have to wait and see how Oregon recovers this week against UCLA. If the conference doesn't get two bids that would be bad news for the open bids hopefuls as it seemed for a while now not only the Armed Forces Bowl would be open but also the Emerald Bowl. I'm reading conflicting reports where some indicate the Emerald picks before the Las Vegas Bowl this year which would leave Vegas open but I'm not so sure about that. In any event if Oregon is a shell of it's former self now without Dixon, then UCLA can get win #6. U of A is suddenly hot but they'll need to pull off another big upset against rival ASU in order to get eligible for the first time since 1998.
SEC
Bowls: BCS/Sugar, Capital One, Cotton, Outback, Chick-Fil-A, Music City, Liberty, Independence
Locks: Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, Tennessee
Near Locks: Arkansas, Kentucky
On the Bubble: Alabama, Mississippi State, South Carolina
I had Alabama as a lock the last couple of weeks as I though there was no way in hell they'd lose to ULM. Well so much for that. Now the conference is all but guaranteed two BCS bids so they'll have nine total but we could end up with nightmare scenario where we have six 7-5 teams with five available bids between them. Now any 7-5 SEC team will get picked over all others trying to get an open bid but there are scenarios where there could end up being no open bids so because of that I'm going conservative here. Auburn I have as a lock as I feel they'd be safe at 7-5 in that scenario while I could see Kentucky or Arkansas getting snubbed in this nightmare scenario. Hopefully either Auburn beats Alabama and/or Clemson beats South Carolina to send one of those schools to a very long offseason. The biggest shame would be if Mississippi State got snubbed in the nightmare scenario.
Sun Belt
Bowls: New Orleans
Locks: None
Near Locks: Troy
On the Bubble: Florida Atlantic
No changes, Troy/FAU play each other December 1st for the conference unless FAU is stunned by winless FIU this week. Hopefully Troy avoids the upset in that game as they deserve to go to a bowl game and a better one than the New Orleans Bowl against one of the awful 6-6 C-USA teams but that's not gonna happen.
WAC
Bowls: BCS?, Humanitarian, Hawaii, New Mexico
Locks: Boise State, Hawaii
Near Locks: Fresno State
On the Bubble: Louisiana Tech, Nevada
Of course the big game is this Friday. If your Louisiana Tech and Nevada your probably rooting for Hawaii as their chances are better than Boise's at getting into the Top 12 to get the BCS bid and a 4th bid for the conference. Neither has any business going to a bowl game mind you.
10 p.m.
• Oh man. If the Muslims weren't pissed off at us already, wait until this shit starts showing up on their televisions. (Allah lets them own TV sets, right?)
LOL at the quote in the last paragraph. You just don't want to get your head chopped off. Yeah, MTV will start out by playing videos, but then you guys will soon have "Real Worlds" "Road Rules" and all that other crap that has spawned long after I stopped watching this station. Then again, I'd love to see those "Sweet 16" shows. "Abia wanted something special for her 16th birthday, but when we went shopping for burkas for the big day a man from across the street looked at her, which is the worst thing you can do to a Muslim father. So we stoned her and gave the offending oogler a goat."
• Wait, so now cBS news writers are on strike?
And here I thought all the comedy/fictional writers were already walking the picket line in Tinseltown.
8 p.m.
• The better half and I have to take our newer car for its annual inspection in a few months. I talked a while back about going to this one regular place with our 1988 Corsica that’s about ready to go to the big junkyard up in the sky, and the inspection guy said this car needed a whole bunch of work. Oh hell, I’m too lazy to type all this shit up again.
Well now it’s time for the newer car to get inspected. Mrs. kkk wanted to go to another inspection place because of what the above-mentioned auto shop supposedly did to rip us off. One problem. The place that she wanted to go charges $50 dollars just to get in the door. Now she was flipping out about this but I wasn’t. More power to this guy. Look, if he can maintain a large enough client base with charging $50 upfront he must be doing something right. Mrs. kkk then asked if I wanted to take the car to him. “Hell no,” I said. “There may be people that will pay $50 for the privilege of this guy looking at their car, but I’m not one of those people.” We’re going back to the first mechanic since the newer car is still under warranty and if anything major is needed (which is unlikely) then we’ll just go somewhere else.
Since my dad sent something out on my outbox, I occasionally get emails from the HRCC of Pennsylvania. That's some Republican lobbying group. Got this one in today.
If you want to lobby for your cause, that is perfectly fine. Politics is all about that. In this case, I agree with them on the merits of the issue. I am against putting tolls on I-80. Principally, it is a national highway and if New Jersey hasn't put tolls on it, no state should. What bothers me is when they try arguments such as the one bolded above. Trucking companies are charging less than they have to currently because there are no tolls on I-80? Putting that aside, gasoline prices have risen 300% in the last eight years. Let me make a quick count of the business lost. Certainly doesn't seem to stop developers from putting up a shopping outlet featuring a Best Buy, or a waterpark themed resort, or a brand new Casino and resort.
Honestly, how stupid do you think I am? If you want a good argument, state that drivers will clog already crowded side roads to avoid toll plazas. That's a good argument, and it will carry further appeal to the citizens. It's direct.
And on a side note, I'm tired of their "OMG big cities will eat your money" cry that they seem to bring out on every issue.
I said I had to get this out of the way, so for once, I'll keep my promise and do so.
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We start the show, with Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Brady Boone. Savage gives Boone an armdrag, but misses a charge into the corner, as Boone backflips away. Boone gives Savage a dropkick, but Savage comes back with a shoulderblock, so Boone counter with a rana, forcing Savage to bail out of the ring. On the inside, Boone gets a shoulderblock, and tries another rana, but Savage gives him a powerbomb. He gives Boone a snapmare and a kneedrop, then dumps Boone to the outside. Savage follows, and rams him into the ring apron before throwing him back in the ring. Boone gives him a kneelift on the inside, but misses a moonsault block. Savage gives him a clothesline, and drops Boone along the top rope, before tossing him out of the ring. Bombs away from the top turnbuckle (you know, axhandle to the outside), and inside the ring, bodyslam, SAVAGE ELBOW for 3 at 4:19. As good as a squash can be, IMO. **.
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Just what I wanted, a Hillbilly Jim match. He's facing "The Natural" Butch Reed. Jim tries to shake hands, but Reed won't do it. Reed tries a shoulderblock, but it doesn't move Jim. Jim gives him a headbutt, but Reed misses a kneedrop after putting Jim down. Hillbilly grabs his legs, and kneedrops Reed in the nuts. Jim says to the crowd that Reed is "unnatural," and we go to a
commercial break.
Back from the break with a Test of Strength, and Hillbilly wins it, then stomps on the hand of Reed. Reed gives Jim a back elbow, then dumps Jim to the outside. Reed slams him on the inside for 2, and chokes him. Jim gets a big boot, and then both wrestlers miss elbowdrops. Reed gives him a high knee, and a clothesline from off the 2nd rope for 3, at 10:58. Not entertaining, but by Jim's standards, not bad either. That's a bad thing. 1/4*.
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Now, the usual mid-part of the show, with the interviews, vignettes and such.
Gene Okerlund's with Jake Roberts to discuss the Honky Tonk Man, and once that's over, since Okerlund referenced Heenan's fake injury, Heenan feels the need to call him a Hitler lookalike. Heh.
The Million Dollar Man makes Rob Van Dam an eager young man kiss his foot for 100 dollars.
And now, a Special Report on Superstar Billy Graham, after which Graham cuts a promo, unfortunately, I couldn't really understand it. Nothing like the promos from earlier in his career, which I enjoyed.
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Lastly, Craig DeGeorge has an interview with Rick Martel, who bemoans his state of affairs in the WWF, now that Tom Zenk has left. Martel's ready to go at it alone.
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For the WWF Women's Tag Team Titles, it's the challengers, the Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Leilani Kai and Judy Martin, the champions. Martin gets dropkicked, and she's given a double clothesline at the beginning of the match. Tateno gets a flying forearm, and Yamazaki tags in, slingshotting herself into the ring with a dropkick. She gets a gutwrench suplex, but Kai rams Tateno into the corner once both tag in. Tateno bridges out of a cradle, but gets slammed by Martin. Martin misses an elbowdrop, and Yamazaki gets an armdrag from the top rope. Kai tries a big boot, but gets caught, and both the Jumping Bomb Angels apply figure-four leglocks to their opponents. Tateno gets a legdrop, and Yamazaki applies a figure four. Yamazaki gives Kai a bow and arrow surfboard type thing, before Martin breaks it up. Tateno gets a bodyscissor, as we go to the
commercial break.
Kai slams Tateno, but Tateno bridges out of the pin. Martin gives her a big boot, then drops her from a fireman's carry position onto the knee of Kai. Kai chokes Tateno, but Tateno rolls her up for 2. Martin comes in and chokes Tateno, then tags Kai, who accidentally gives Martin a double axhandle off the top. Yamazaki tags in and gets a crossbody, and then whips Kai into Martin. Yamazaki gets a bodyslam, and Tateno gets a flying kneedrop off the top rope. Yamazaki gets a crossbody from the top, but Martin picks Yamazaki up and powerbombs her. Kai pins Yamazaki after the powerbomb and gets the win, at 11:22. ***. Good stuff.
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Now, Hercules faces Billy Jack Haynes from Madison Square Garden, and I hate to say it, but I don't review matches that are joined in progress. It ended in a 30 minute draw, and was ***. Whoever gave these two 30 minutes was nuts, but it worked out better than I could have imagined.
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The last match on the show, is a WWF Tag Team Championship match, and it's the British Bulldogs w/Matilda vs. the champions, The Hart Foundation w/Jimmy Hart. Bret starts the match with Davey, but quickly as I write that down, Neidhart tags in. The Anvil chokes him, and Hart does the same, with the tag rope. Neidhart shoulderblocks Bret on accident, so Dynamite comes in with a snap suplex for 2. Davey comes in quickly and applies a chinlock, but the ropes are reached by Bret. Davey gets a crucifix for 2, then Dynamite comes in and gets a slam for 2. Really liking the tempo thus far. Davey comes in, and the Bulldogs give Bret a double headbutt. A Davey fisherman suplex(!) gets 2, and now, both wrestlers switch out. Neidhart and Dynamite are in the ring, as we go to a
commercial break.
Neidhart's choking Dynamite with his boot, and on the outside, he rams Dynamite into the guardrail. Bret walks by and calls a fan a "little jerk," and on the inside, Neidhart gives Dynamite a backbreaker, followed by a Bret elbowdrop from the 2nd rope for 2. Bret gives him a few European uppercuts and tries a bodyslam, but Dynamite falls on top for 2. Bret applies a front facelock on Dynamite to keep Davey from tagging in, so of course, we get the 'distract the ref, then tag, but the ref didn't see' spot, but Bret gets rammed into the turnbuckle afterward, at 100 MPH. Like always, right. Davey finally gets in, with a clothesline and monkeyflip. A kneedrop from the 2nd rope gets 2, and a suplex gets 2. The count is so fucking slow, I just now noticed and it's starting to hurt my enjoyment of the match. Davey gets the RUNNING POWERSLAM for 2, but Bret's foot is on the ropes. Bret has to apply something to get Davey settled down, and it's the sleeper. Dynamite headbutts Bret, as the Anvil's still out on the floor. Davey press slams Bret, but drops him on the top rope, crotching Bret. Ouch. Davey tries to bodyslam Bret, but gets tripped up, and covered by Bret for the win, at 11:00. My time went through the sequence where Monsoon and Heenan talked in the studio, so the time isn't exact. That's the case for every match on PTW that goes to a break. The Harts retain their titles, but at the end of the match, Matilda (a bulldog, if you didn't know) chases Jimmy Hart, as poor Jimmy gets his clothes ripped off, and Jimmy gets press slammed out of the ring onto Neidhart. ***1/4, yeah, ref's count was bad. Otherwise, this was worth tracking down. Loved it.
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To end the show, we have a comedy bit where Heenan pays Monsoon $100 to announce him as a host on the show, but Monsoon pockets the money, and says he won't do it. Cheater.
Anyhow, show's over.
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Rating: Great. Has to be, a TV show like that. Expectations were met, here. Loved everything except the Reed/Hillbilly match.
Best Match: The British Bulldogs vs. The Hart Foundation for the WWF Tag Team Titles. Self explanatory, but Herc/Billy Jack was fun too.
Worst Match: Butch Reed vs. Hillbilly Jim. Obviously.
Loudest sound doesn't matter, everything's from a different venue.
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I'm afraid that Survivor Series 1994 might get taken down and replaced with what's supposed to be shown, so I'll watch it today and have the review up sometime tomorrow. I know it has some shitty matches, but I really wanted to see the show. Mainly for Bret/Backlund. Until then...
9 p.m.
• Yet another reason why I don’t want kids. The other day while talking about Swift Terror’s latest download, I made some remark to the better half about keeping kkk Jr. in his crib out in the living room while I played Madden. Her response, “I’d be OK with that.” Oh hell no we’re not having kids.
• Fuck this shit. Blast away, po-pos.
I’m so sick of hearing this shit about “OMG HE DIDN’T HAVE A GUN WHY DID YOU SHOOT?” Don’t want to get shot? When the cops show up and tell you to get on the ground, do that. I know it’s crazy, but try it.
I lied. No ECW just yet, I felt like getting this one out of the way. Let me say, it was a great decision to watch this.
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Vince, MR. PERFECT, and Jim Ross are on commentary, and in case you missed it, Perfect was introduced before the show. This is Survivor Series 1995, also known as "shitty gimmicks galore."
The first match of the night is Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Barry Horowitz and Bob Holly (The Underdogs) vs. Tom Prichard, Skip, Rad Radford (Louie Spicolli), and the 1-2-3 Kid w/Ted DiBiase and Sunny.
Blow-by-blow: Before the match, during Kid's entrance, he gives the Kliq sign. The things I notice now...anyhow, Razor Ramon tries to attack the Kid, and we see why, as during a Razor v. Sid match on RAW, Kid was the special referee, and fast counted Razor. Prichard and Jannetty get the action going, and Jannetty just runs over to the heels corner and hits everyone. Prichard hits the Kid on accident, and gets backdroped by Jannetty. Radford and Holly tag in, at which point Holly shoulderblocks Radford, then gives Radford a hurricanrana. Well, that's a move I've never seen Holly do. Radford tries to do the same, but gets powerbombed by Holly. Holly slams Radford and legdrops him after an armdrag, then tags in Hakushi. Hakushi gets spinebustered though, and Radford tags in the Kid. Kid gets a splash off the top rope for 2, and does a spinning kick, much in the fashion that he's always done. Skip tags in and tries to give Hakushi a back suplex from the top rope, but Hakushi reverses it into a crossbody. He tags in Holly, who gets a backdrop, but Prichard tags in as well. Prichard gives Holly a gutwrench powerbomb for 2, then slams him afterward. Prichard goes up to the top, but misses his moonsault. Holly comes off the top after tagging in, and gives Prichard a crossbody, which eliminates Prichard at 5:39.
Skip comes in quickly, and rolls up Holly at 5:45, eliminating him. That was fast.
Hakushi comes in with a few rolling kicks(!), but misses a pump splash out of the corner. Skip gives Hakushi a frankensteiner off the TOP ROPE, but he's hurt, so both men are down. These guys are doing some crazy shit tonight. Kid comes in, but is given a springboard elbow, just like the Great Muta's. Hakushi goes up top, and gets a flying shoulderblock for 2. Hakushi slams the Kid, but misses his slingshot flying headbutt. Radford tags in, and Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head, which leads to a Radford pinfall at 8:32.
Barry Horowitz comes into the ring for the first time during the match, and the crowd goes nuts. I guess I never really realized how over he was. Kid comes back in again, and he and Radford gives Barry a double back elbow. Kid suplexes Horowitz, and kicks him a few times. Radford comes in and gets a gutwrench suplex for 2, but once Horowitz gets up, Horowitz gives Radford a jawbreaker. A Radford clothesline gets 2, but he doesn't let the referee finish the count, picking Horowitz up at 2. Radford headbutts Horowitz in the nuts, then does the Mr. Perfect-ish neck snap. Funny that Perfect is at ringside, isn't it. Radford gets a northern lights suplex for 2, then starts doing some pushups. Too bad for him, Horowitz rolls him up out of nowhere, and eliminates Radford at 11:47. Heh.
Skip comes in, and Horowitz gives him a hiptoss. Kid tags in, and gives Horowitz a legdrop, leading to the pin at 12:47. Marty, Skip and Kid are the only ones left.
Marty tries a german suplex after Skip misses a charge towards the corner, but he can't get it. Marty rolls through a powerbomb attempt and gets 2, then gives Skip a ROCKER DROPPER. Marty goes up top, but Sunny shakes the ropes, leading to Jannetty being crotched on the top rope. In a strange finish, Marty SUPERBOMBS Skip, leading to Skip being pinned at 15:24. Two things. One, I would never let Marty freakin' Jannetty give me that move. Ever. Two, this move, in the WWF? Goodness.
Kid gives Marty a legdrop from the top rope for 2 as he comes in, and a running dropkick. Kid slams Marty, then goes up top, but misses a rolling senton. Marty gets a dropkick for 2, as Psycho Sid makes his way to the ring. Well, we know who's gonna win the match, if there was any doubt to begin with. Marty gives Kid a facesmash, and a ROCKER DROPPER for 2. Kid grabs the ropes on the pinfall, as DiBiase gets on the ring apron. Sid comes up from behind, now that the referee is distracted, and drops Marty along the top rope, which leads to the pinfall and the win for the 1-2-3 Kid, at 19:07. Finish was crap.
Survivor: The 1-2-3 Kid.
Match Analysis: Yeah, the finish was junk, but the rest of the match was awesome. I've watched a lot of the Survivor Series', and this is likely my favorite elimination match of the bunch. ****1/4, the crap finish to the match deducts a 1/4. But it was still awesome, and well worth watching. Not surprising, given the workers involved. Not a single bad one in the match.
Razor's reaction to Kid winning the match is shown, he pretty much wrecks all the shit in the lockerroom, as for some reason he was with the Undertaker's team. Henry Godwinn's his boy, yo.
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Todd Pettingill's with Owen Hart, Yokozuna and Dean Douglas, who along with Razor Ramon will be part of the Wildcard match later on.
Michael Hayes promotes the Survivor Series 1995 t-shirt, and honestly, this embarasses the shit out of me. They've got him running around under the Dok Hendrix name, promoting their bullshit. Makes me feel weird.
Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Lioness Asuka, and Tomoko Watanabe w/Harvey Wippleman vs. (WWF Women's Champion) Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, and Chaparita Asari was the next match, and honestly, I can't review it. I have a really hard time reviewing multi-man matches with people that aren't established by the announce team, if you haven't noticed. They need to help a brotha out. That's what they're for, right? Otherwise they're useless. Singles matches are no problem, I can catch on quickly, but a 6 or 8 man tag? No can do. Anyway, the match finished at 10:01, with AJA KONG as the sole survivor, after pinning Blayze with a Shonie Carter-esque spinning backfist. She was made to be the "monster" of the match, and with good reason. Her offense was rough. One of the women hit a SKY TWISTER PRESS, which is just awesome. Match was **, I felt like one or two finishes were screwed up, and the crowd wasn't ready for it.
Survivor: Aja Kong.
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Todd Pettingill is with the Bill Clinton impersonator, and when Bam Bam Bigelow's pyro goes off, his "secret service" agents dive on top of him, making him take over. Fucking lame.
Finally, we get a regular match, Goldust vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.
Blow-by-blow: Goldust's entrance takes way too fucking long. WAY. Goldust starts the match with a few right hands and a thrust to the throat of Bigelow, then chokes Bam Bam in the corner. Goldust bails out of the ring after a Bigelow Irish whip, and slaps Bigelow when he comes back in. Bigelow gives him a dropkick, and on the outside, Goldust misses a clothesline, ramming himself into the ringpost. Inside, and just as they get in, Goldust clotheslines Bigelow over the top rope. What's the point of that? Inside, Goldust gets headbutted, then comes back with a kneelift. Goldust goes to a front facelock, and then tosses Bigelow over the top rope. He rams Bigelow into the steps and brings him back in, but Bigelow gives him a back suplex. He goes for a falling headbutt, but misses it. Goldust practically humps the guy on a cover, that only gets a 2 count. Goldust goes to the chinlock, but changes strategy and gives Bigelow a head vice instead. Bam Bam puts him on his shoulders and drops him, but Goldust comes back with a clothesline. He's not selling anything. A kneedrop gets 2, and we go back to the chinlock, at which point Bigelow goes Gene Okerlund, meaning "FUCK IT," and gives Goldust another back suplex. A clothesline gets 2, and on an Irish whip to the turnbuckle, Goldie fucks it up and falls down once hitting the buckle. He gets back up and walks over to the buckle (which is so business exposing it's ludicrous), and then Bigelow misses a charge, so Goldust gives Bigelow a bulldog which gets the 3 count at 8:19.
Match Analysis: This was all over the place. Junk that had no flow, and I probably wouldn't watch it again. DUD. Really disappointing, but expected, given that this was Bigelow's last match with the company.
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"Clinton" tells Bob Backlund he should run for President, and Backlund can't even make it through his lines without stuttering. That's supposed to be the first sign you shouldn't be doing that segment. As we move to what could be even worse...
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We have the Darkside: The Undertaker, Savio Vega, Henry Godwinn and FATU w/Paul Bearer and a bucket of slop vs. The Royals: Jerry "the King" Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Issac Yankem D.D.S., and King Mabel w/Sir Mo. IMO, this is the worst collection of gimmicks in any Survivor Series match, outside of the midget match the year before. Prior to the match, we take a look back at King of the Ring 1995 (:shudder:), when Mabel won the King of the Ring after interference from Kama, against Taker. After that, we go to a RAW which took place a month ago, when Mabel broke Taker's face. Taker has this Phantom of the Opera thing goin', and I sorta like it. Fits with the ridiculousness of a lot of things on this show.
Blow-by-blow: FATU and Helmsley start the match, and Helmsley does that gay courtsey of his. Since Fatu's makin' a difference, he does the same thing, but only to make fun of Helmsley's. For the children. Fatu gives Helmsley a backdrop, but after a few Helmsley right hands, he tries the PEDIGREE. Doesn't do it though, as he looks over and sees Taker starting him down. After all, Helmsley was standing right next to him. Godwinn and Lawler tag in, but Lawler doesn't want to fight. He tags in his lackey, Yankem, and Godwinn hiptosses the guy. Godwinn bodyslams him and gives him an elbowdrop, but after ramming him into the buckle, Yankem comes back with a back suplex. Helmsley tags in, and chokes Godwinn, as the commentators note Helmsley's undefeated streak in singles competition thus far in the World Wrestling Federation. Helmsley gets a high knee for 2, but gets press slammed as Godwinn gets in some offense. He squeals like a pig, then tags in Vega, while Helmsley tags in Lawler. Vega does this gay dance after a hiptoss, then Lawler does one which is equally as dumb. Vega gives him a dropkick, then tags in Fatu. He rams Lawler's head into the turnbuckle 10 times, but gets kneed by Yankem. Lawler gives Fatu a fistdrop, then tags in Yankem, who slams Fatu and legdrops him. MABEL finally comes in, but misses an avalanche. Vega comes in, but gets slammed by Mabel in Bossman Slam fashion. Mabel gives him a belly-to-belly throw, as in, he threw Vega the whole way across the ring like that. Yankem tags in with a dropkick, and applies a nerve hold. Like I said in the Survivor Series 90 review, that shit DOES NOT BELONG in these matches. Mabel and Yankem choke Vega, and Helmsley comes in with a kneedrop for 2. Mabel clotheslines Vega while Mabel's standing on the apron, and tags Lawler in. He piledrives Vega, but only gets a 2 count. That was a bit of a surprise. Helmsley comes in, and HITS ROCK BOTTOM, courtesy of Savio Vega. I never thought I'd see Vega do that move. Lawler tags in and piledrives Vega again, but Vega no-sells it, and FINALLY, the Undertaker will enter the ring. That no-sell was fucking dumb. He chokes Lawler, and Lawler attempts to make a tag, but there isn't a single guy willing to get in. A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER from Taker finishes the King at 12:18. Kinda figured he'd be the first to go.
Yankem comes in and does nothing, before Taker gives him a flying clothesline. TOMBSTONE, see you later at 12:50.
Helmsley acts like he's going to leave, but Godwinn grabs the slop bucket, forcing Helmsley to make a tough decision. Since Helmsley's a blueblood, he'll take the asskickin'. He gets chokeslammed in, and pinned by Taker at 13:35.
Mabel's the only heel left, and he gives Taker a belly-to-belly, along with a legdrop. Mabel dances, but Taker sits up. I forgot to mention two things. One, Mabel was carried to the ring, and was nearly dropped. If you look at the carrier on the right side of the screen, he's having such a hard time that he looks as if he's shitting his pants. Two, Mabel's sporting an UGLY mohawk. Well, the guy's ugly, so it's no surprise his mohawk is the same. Mo attacks Taker as the referee is distracted, and Mabel just leaves, at 14:24. Taker chokeslams him, but Mo no-sells it and leaves. Bet that pissed someone off.
Survivors: Savio Vega, The Undertaker, Fatu and Henry Godwinn. You mean to tell me one of those couldn't do a job?
Match Analysis: Booking was funny, but it fit. Taker should have been the one to take care of the heels, I'm not complaining. It's a little thing, but the nervehold bugged me, even though the match was shitty. 3/4*, and I'm probably being kind. These matches have action, but it isn't always good action. This show has way too many dead people on it, but none of them played any part in this match. Weird. Anyway, onto part 2, which definitely will be on this review. Just wanted to show where part 1 ends, is all.
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Finally, the Wildcard match. This is an idea which definitely needs to be repeated. But first...
Bret Hart with a promo about his match later vs. Diesel...
Diesel returns the favor with one of his own...
Lastly, we have a promo with Shawn Michaels' team, and Cornette seems to be playing both sides. He was in the interviews with each team.
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Speaking of the Wildcard match, it's Shawn Michaels, the British Bulldog, Psycho Sid, and Ahmed Johnson w/Jim Cornette and Ted DiBiase vs. Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Dean Douglas and (WWF Intercontinental Champion) Razor Ramon w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette. Like I said, Corny's playing both sides. Not only that, but Yoko is the fattest I've ever seen him. Note that I've hardly watched anything WWF from 1996, and what I have watched didn't have Yoko involved.
Blow-by-blow: HBK and Owen start the match, with HBK getting a shoulderblock. Owen gives him a hiptoss and tries to throw HBK out, but HBK skins the cat and gives Owen a headscissor out. Cornette swings his tennis racket at HBK, but HBK grabs it and hits Corny on the ass with it. Owen gives him a belly-to-belly suplex on the inside, then tags in Douglas. He gives HBK a delayed suplex, but Shawn puts Dean hard into the buckle, and gives Dean a flying forearm. An axhandle from the top rope gets 2, but after a missed charge to the buckle, he gets slammed by Douglas, who goes up for a pump splash, and misses. HBK gets a moonsault block for 2, then tags in Ahmed. Ahmed tries to slam Yokozuna, but can't do it. He gets scratched on the back, then Yoko tags in Douglas again. To the chinlock we go, but Dean breaks the hold and tags in Owen instead. Owen chokes Ahmed, and Ramon goes to work on him, then Dean tags in. Ahmed gets a powerslam, then slams HBK onto Douglas, which gets 2. Douglas avoids SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and on the outside, Douglas and Razor get into an argument. Douglas gets in the ring as Ramon is on the apron, and Ramon belts him, leading to Shawn rolling Douglas up at 7:29, so Douglas is gone.
Bulldog and Owen are in, and they fight, despite being managed by Cornette. Bulldog gives Owen a monkeyflip, and then Owen gives Bulldog a spinning leg lariat. Yoko's laughing on the ring apron for some reason, as HBK tags back in, along with Razor. They play up the "we don't fight unless there's ladders involved" thing, and Razor clotheslines him, prior to HBK doing the flying forearm and kipping up. Razor gives HBK the RAZOR'S EDGE, seemingly out of nowhere, but Ahmed breaks up the pin attempt. Razor gives Shawn a kneelift, and after an Irish whip, both wrestlers collide in the center of the ring. Sid finally comes in, and beats Razor up a little bit, but Yoko comes in to help Razor out. Razor and Sid clothesline each other, but Sid goes up to the top rope after, and gets slammed off by Razor, which gets a 2 count. Kick, punch sequence follows, and Sid gives Razor a 1 handed chokeslam, and calls for the powerbomb. He tags Shawn instead, who gives Sid a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on accident. Razor gets two, because Bulldog overjumps his cue and runs in on Razor too quickly. Razor then pins Sid again, and gets 3, at 16:19. Should have done another move to Sid after the pin breakup, as it was, it looked like shit and was business exposing.
Bulldog runs in now, and beats up Razor, which distracts the referee from seeing Sid POWERBOMB HBK. Owen comes in and gives Bulldog a backbreaker and backdrop, then tags Yokozuna. He puts Shawn into the corner, where Shawn does that flip of his. Yoko gives Shawn a nerve hold, and considering that it's Yoko, I'll deal with it. Owen comes in and along with Yoko, both headbutt Shawn, then Owen gives him a suplex. Up top, but Owen misses a diving headbutt. Ahmed gets the hot tag, and he's a house of fire. Quickly as he gets in, he gives Owen the PEARL RIVER PLUNGE, which eliminates Owen at 21:47.
Razor comes in with a bulldog, and the spot gets screwed up a little, as Razor had to chase him down, like Ahmed wasn't paying attention. Ahmed gets a spinebuster after catching Razor unawares, then taunts him on the 2nd turnbuckle. Well, Razor gets up quickly, and gives Ahmed a RAZOR'S EDGE off the 2nd turnbuckle. Bulldog attacks Razor though, so no cover is registered. Ahmed tagged Bulldog while up in the RAZOR'S EDGE, so Bulldog's able to stay in. Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid make their way back to the ring, in case you didn't know, Sid is pretty much Ted DiBiase's bodyguard. Razor gives Bulldog a fall-away slam, but Kid trips Razor, and Bulldog powerslams Razor, eliminating him at 24:07.
Yoko's the only one left, and he pokes HBK in the eye. He slams and legdrops Yoko, so Yoko goes for the BANZAI!!! He misses, and Ahmed comes in, who slams Yokozuna. Bulldog breaks the pin up, because Yoko's his buddy, so Ahmed and HBK clothesline Bulldog out of the ring. HBK gives Yoko the SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and Ahmed finishes the bout with a big splash on Yoko for 3 at 27:23. The crowd goes banana, as Ahmed and HBK celebrate. Bulldog's celebrating too, and it looked so awkward. Funny, at that.
Survivors: Ahmed Johnson, Shawn Michaels, and the British Bulldog
Match Analysis: Weird, but unique. Most of all, fun. I liked that everyone jobbed, and we didn't get any bullshit DQ or countout finishes. ***1/2, and the concept should definitely be revisited. Funny to see faces face faces and heels face heels. I liked what the WWF was doing with Sid right here, although I don't know particularly where it led. Didn't Sid break his leg during a softball game, so the whole thing was dropped? The angle with Shawn passing out happened the next night, btw.
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Pettingill's with "Clinton" AGAIN, and this time, Sunny's sitting on his lap. I guess it was a little funny.
Pictures from KotR 94, and Rumble 1995, the only times Bret has been given the powerbomb by Diesel.
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Now, the main event, for the WWF Championship. The challenger is none other than Bret "the Hitman" Hart vs. the Champion, Diesel. He's Diesel powered, you know.
Blow-by-blow: Both Diesel and Bret untie a turnbuckle pad at the beginning of the match, Diesel was seemingly doing it to psych Bret out, but now that Bret did it too, not psyched out, I guess. Bret puts Diesel into the buckle, but Diesel comes back with a few knees and right hands. Bret goes to the outside, making Diesel chase him, and Diesel complies. He drops Bret on the guardrail, then rams him into the apron. Diesel chokes Bret with his boot, then gets back in the ring. Bret starts kicking Diesel in the knee, but Diesel hits him a few times, getting him to stop. He tosses Bret out of the ring, and whips him into the steps, then rams him into the post. Diesel gets a chair, and hits Bret with it. It has a padded cushion on it, so it's not too violent looking. Rather lame, at that. On the inside, Diesel clotheslines Bret and calls for the jackknife, but he can't get it, cause Bret holds onto his leg. Bret bites him, and rakes the nose of Diesel, while being on Diesel's back. He attacks Diesel's knee, and elbows it a few times. He jumps on it, while it's draped on the bottom rope, and applies the figure-four leglock. Diesel reaches the ropes, but now Bret tries to go for the SHARPSHOOTER. Diesel kicks Bret in the face, so that's the end of that, also, Bret's head hit the exposed turnbuckle as he fell back. Bret rams Diesel's knee into the post after avoiding a charge from Diesel, and Bret applies a leg grapevine, in which he uses a television cord to tie Diesel's leg around the ringpost. Smooth move. Bret clotheslines Diesel from the top rope, cause Diesel can't avoid it. Bret goes to get a chair, but Diesel gives him a big boot. Diesel can't reach the chair, though, so Bret gets to take a few shots at him, to the back and to the knee. Bret gives him an elbowdrop and backbreaker, then goes up top with the chair. He gets crotched though, and slammed off by Diesel. Diesel unties himself, then chokes Bret with the cord. Diesel gives Bret a sidewalk slam, then whips Bret into the exposed buckle, while Bret runs 100 mph into the post. Diesel's selling the leg well, by limping of course, and he jumps on Bret with Bret draped over the 2nd rope. Diesel limps to the corner and gives Bret SNAKE EYES, then tries it again at the exposed buckle, but Bret rams Diesel into the buckle instead. Bret gets a clothesline for 2, and a bulldog from the top rope for 2. A russian legsweep gets 2, and then, he clotheslines Diesel over the top rope. Bret misses a plancha, and when Bret tries to get into the ring from the ring apron, Diesel pushes him off of it and through the Spanish announce table. Back in, and Diesel goes for the jackknife...but he can't pick Bret up. Obviously, Bret feels like a sack of shit. Well, Bret's FAKING INJURY, and rolls Diesel up for the win and his THIRD WWF TITLE, at 24:32.
Diesel's really pissed off about that, so he jackknifes Bret after the match. He hits all the officials that run in, and jackknifes Bret a second time. He tosses the belt to Bret, and yells, "I'M BACK!" Sure you are.
Match Analysis: I really liked the psychology of the match and Diesel's selling, but it started out awfully slow. Is it as good as Flair/Vader? No, I don't think that it is. I liked Diesel's match with Shawn at a later IYH more than this, so this isn't his best, IMO. Well, Flair vs. Vader is my standard for ****1/2 matches, so everything has to be as good or better than that to get a rating above, so I'll go a rung lower and give it ****1/4. I have the Bret DVD, but for some reason, I've never watched it. Dunno why, really.
Show's over.
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Rating: Excellent. I might catch flack for this, but this is one of the best WWF PPV's, from top to bottom. Lot of action, although there were a lot of shitty gimmicks too. I know how shitty the "New Generation" was, but with in-ring quality like this, a majority of the shows are at least worth a look see. By majority, I don't mean a show like King of the Ring '95.
Best Match: Bret Hart vs. Diesel.
Worst Match: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Goldust. Sucked the meat missile, I'm afraid.
Loudest Sound: HBK, Razor Ramon, the 1-2-3 Kid and the Undertaker.
No Sound: Almost the entirety of the women in their match, and Bob Holly. Poor Bob.
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Anyway, PTW has to come soon. Don't know when, but soon.
6 a.m.
• Pickkks. Go.
Arizona @ Cincinnati (3.5)
I don’t know. I saw Kurt Warner on Jim Rome’s ESPN show this week. Does he have “Jungle Karma” for his TV show?
Carolina @ Green Bay (9.5)
No clue as to who is injured on the Panthers. They’ve screwed me over during the last few years so fuck them.
(3.5) Cleveland @ Baltimore
The Browns are playing MUCH better, but I’m praying the Ravens can eek out a win or close loss at home in a divisional contest. Then again, that didn’t bode well for me last time they played.
Kansas City @ Indianapolis (14.5)
Indy’s lost two in a row. Dwight Freeney is out. I heard that KC is first in the NFC West. Here’s hoping this is a “bounce back” game.
Miami @ Philadelphia (10.5)
The Dolphins HAVE to win sometime – or at least not lose in double digits. Don’t they?
(16.5) New England @ Buffalo
OK, Buffalo, prove me right in picking you to lose to the Patriots by less than two touchdowns.
New Orleans @ Houston (0.5)
Here’s hoping the Saints bounce back from that loss last week to the formerly winless Rams. I’m sure somebody’s hurt on the Texans.
Oakland @ Minnesota (5.5)
Adrian Peterson is out. Come on, Raiders. You can do this.
(10.5) Pittsburgh @ N.Y. Jets
I heard the Jets running defense was last in the NFL. Look how good that was for me when the Steelers played Denver. Still think they’ll win. And score 27 points.
San Diego @ Jacksonville (2.5)
Isn’t someone from the Jags out due to roids?
(3.5) Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
I can’t remember much about the Buccaneers. Are they supposed to contend for their divison?
Washington @ Dallas (10.5)
The Cowboys have been mostly reliable for me this year.
(2.5) N.Y. Giants @ Detroit
I still can’t take Detroit seriously. Not like I do for the Giants, either.
(3.5) St. Louis @ San Francisco
A one-win team favored. On the road? And I’m taking it?
Chicago @ Seattle (5.5)
Something is telling me to go with the Bears here. Don’t know why.
Tennessee @ Denver (2.5)
Eh, I’ll still go with the Titans. I like Vince Young if only for his public statements and the fact he beat a bunch of USC queers a few years back. I still find it funny that one of them is now his running back and the former offensive coordinator of that university is one of his coaches. He still is, right?
10 p.m.
• Detroit? You don't say.
• Don't you know that not allowing a cherry to pop on a person's wedding night is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male? From across the Pond.
8:30 p.m.
• So I just got back from watching "Beowolf" movie. And just how many marriages does Angelina Jolie destroy? God almighty. And for the last week or so the better half has been going batshit over this thing. "OMG it's all in CGI. OMG OMG OMG." No big deal, I thought. Bunch of special effects. Then several minutes in I notice the whole thing looks like a Pixar movie. "What is this shit?" I say.
"It's all CGI. I told you this."
"The WHOLE thing?"
"Yes. Don't you ever listen to anything I say?"
It was there. Didn't read the book/poem/whatever. Don't care.
4:45 p.m.
• So Swift Terror’s wife just popped out a kid. Here’s how the conversation between me and Mrs. kkk took place when I told her the news.
“Mrs. Terror just squirted out a kid.”
“What? They weren’t due for another few weeks. What happened?”
“Dunno.”
“What sex is it?”
“Dunno. Looked like a boy.”
“What is his name?”
“Dunno. But there was a name on a card/poster in one of the pictures he sent me.”
"What was it?"
"Dunno."
And here’s a conversation we had about the baby monitor we got the Terror household a little while back.
“Did Swift Terror tell you that they got the baby monitor delivered?”
“No.”
“Then how do we know if somebody didn’t steal it from their front door?”
“Because they live in an all-white neighborhood.”
“But what if it got stolen?”
“Well we have the receipt, so we’re covered if they bitch about us not sending them anything.”
I swear to Christ she was so obsessed about the Terror household getting this hippie baby monitor that I’m sure it would have been less annoying if she were the one eight months knocked up. Besides, she’s didn’t want to spend that much on Swift Terror anyway because she hates him and his wife. Did I just type that? Oh well, what’s the chance of him actually reading this anyway? Oh, here’s another difference between men and women. These are actual quotes that were said upon learning of the Terror’s newest download.
Her: “Well I’m glad we got them that monitor when we did because they can put it to good use.”
Me: “I’m glad we got the monitor to them early so that $100 we spent won’t be as big a waste as I thought it would.”
And as I told Terror via PM, the thought of being responsible for another human life in this world just scares the shit out of me. Hell, we lost Dessa when we first brought her home as a kitten 5 minutes into her stay with us (she was hiding behind some Genesis cartridge boxes).
Well the baby arrived 4 weeks early. Oh, it's real fun dealing with an unexpected newborn in the house and trying to arrange 50,000 different things. My wife had a C-section, which went well. Her labor wasn't progressing so the doc took the easy way out. My wife's uncle by sheer coincidence was visiting the U.S. He lives in China and he said about 75% of all births in China are done by C-section. Well, you've got to assembly line things when you're dealing with however many billion people are in that lovely Communist dictatorship. That's all for now...your life becomes a series of 15 minute breaks to do what you want when you've got a newborn around.
Oh, yeah you guessed the arrival part of the entry subject. But what does the departure mean? That would be my life departing as I knew it.
And the white zone thing is from "Airplane".
8 p.m.
• So it was 5:30 p.m. and “Around the Horn” was finishing up. Then I see it on the bottom part of my television screen.
OMG BARRY BONDS INDICTED STAY TUNED FOR THE LATEST
That was my cue to change the channel.
I went about my life for several house and without thinking about it I turn on ESPN for some reason or another at 7:30 p.m.
They were still talking about Barry f’n Bonds.
Come on people – he got INDICTED! I could indicted for ‘roids. You could get indicted for ‘roids. I find it funny it took this long and cost God knows how much money. And this is coming from Barry Hater #1.
• You know, I always wondered what would happen in a situation like this. Now I do. Score one for California this time. Well, at least the part of the state that the blacks and Hispanics haven't invaded ... yet.
Uh oh, here comes the R word...
Here's some more good stuff.
• I didn’t read any farther than the headline.
I don’t want to. I’m sure whatever the plan will cost $1 million and end up with a $5 billion tab after six months.
Shorties section, and the lineup looks different, to say the least. But FIRST, that Piper vs. Hogan match needs to be reviewed. So, here.
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From The War to Settle the Score on February 18th from Madison Square Garden, which aired on MTV, it's Roddy Piper w/Bob Orton against Hulk Hogan w/Cyndi Lauper & Captain Lou Albano, for Hogan's WWF Title. Gorilla Monsoon and Gene Okerlund are on commentary.
Blow-by-blow: Bagpipes play as Piper makes his way to the ring, and BOB COSTAS (you wouldn't see this now) introduces both Piper and Hogan. Piper breaks a guitar before the match, to let everyone know what he thinks of rock and roll music. Piper then does the Snuka "I love you" thing, obviously making fun of the Superfly. Hogan's well known "Real American" music is dubbed in. I'm sure of it. Hogan shakes Mr. T's hand before the bout, and we'll see why in a little bit. Piper tears his shirt off and throws it into the crowd, and once someone grabs the shirt, a couple people fight over it. Real mature. Both wrestlers brawl at the beginning of the match, and Hogan gives Piper a back elbow after getting the better of the fight. Hogan slams Piper twice, and then elbowdrops him. Hogan bites Piper, as I notice that Hogan has a lot more hair than I'm used to seeing him have. Piper clotheslines Hogan, and gets a 2 count. Piper double thrusts Hogan in the throat, and applies the sleeper. Hogan breaks the hold, after powering out and lowering his head while running into the buckle, putting Piper's head into the buckle. Orton gets up on the ring apron and chokes Hogan as the referee is distracted, but Hogan rams Orton's broken arm into the ringpost. Paul Orndorff makes his way to ringside, as Hogan gives Piper an atomic drop. Ref bump time as Piper pushes Hogan, so Orndorff comes in and stomps on Hogan, after which he gives Hogan a kneedrop from the top rope. Lauper gets up on the apron, so Orndorff and Piper stalk her, apparently acting like they're going to beat her up. Mr. T helps Lauper down, and gets in the ring. Crowd went nuts for that. Piper and Orndorff attack Mr. T, until Hogan finally gets up, and Hogan pulls the heels off T. And now, we see T and Hogan staredown Piper and Orndorff, giving away what the WrestleMania main event will be. The police come in the ring before the 4 can throwdown, at around 7:12. Hogan wants Piper and Orndorff now, but they don't oblige, walking to the back instead. Hogan wins the bout by DQ, but who cares about that. It's all about Mr. T getting involved, now. T, Hogan and Lauper celebrate, and that's it.
Match Analysis: *1/4, but how the match was wasn't really the point. It was just a vehicle to get Mr. T and Hogan vs. Piper and Orndorff set up. Anyway, I hadn't seen this before, and it was a fun watch.
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From WrestleMania 2 in Chicago, we have a battle royal, and the participants are Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Ted Arcidi, King Tonga, Hillbilly Jim, Big John Studd, Tony Atlas, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Danny Spivey, Pedro Morales, BRUNO Sammartino, the Iron Sheik, Jimbo Covert, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, Ernie Holmes, Harvey Martin, THE FRIDGE, and Andre the Giant.
This one really is impossible to review, unlike the one at the MSG show I reviewed a couple weeks ago. The total combined weight of the wrestlers involved...5,612 pounds. Yo. Order of elimination goes like this...Tonga, Covert, Holmes, Brunzell, Atlas, Morales, Martin, Arcidi (at this point, I notice that Fridge is wearing a thong. Gross.), Spivey, Blair and Hillbilly, Fralic, Sheik, Bruno, and then, it gets easier to review. Studd dumps Fridge, but Fridge pulls Studd out after a handshake. Bret, Francis, Neidhart and Andre are left, and a double dropkick by the Hart Foundation ties Andre up in the ropes, and then, Francis gets eliminated. Andre gives Bret a big boot, then rams the Harts heads into each other. Neidhart gets dumped, and then Andre press slams Bret to the floor, where he lands on Neidhart. Andre wins the battle royal, which was a given. 8/10, the uniqueness of having football players involved made it worth watching.
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I've already said I'm a big WCW 1992-93 fan. Well, I am awaiting the next two matches. This match is from Superbrawl II in Milwaukee, it's CACTUS JACK vs. Ron Simmons. Huge Foley fan here, I don't care if people don't like him being on WWE programming now or in other recent times. I also don't know why people get all mad about things like that, but anyway. Jesse Ventura's commentary is intact.
Blow-by-blow: Simmons is supposed to be a babyface, well, he gets booed. They really love Cactus Jack, just hate Simmons, or weren't inclined to cheer for a black guy. Just sayin'. Cactus starts the match with an eye rake, but Simmons misses a charge into the corner. Cactus attempts to do the Cactus Clothesline, but does the spot where he hangs himself by his neck in the ropes. Impressive visual. Jesse whines about Simmons not helping Cactus out of his predicament, even though Simmons was doing exactly what Jesse wanted. Cactus tries to run into the crowd, and Simmons catches up to him and rams him into the guardrail. Simmons smashes Cactus' face into the canvas, and slams him on the inside. A Simmons legdrop gets 2, Cactus gives him an elbow afterward, and a clothesline. We see that the Junkyard Dog is in the crowd, as Cactus gives Simmons a double arm DDT. A Cactus legdrop gets 2, and he dumps Simmons. He slams Simmons on the outside, and goes up to the 2nd rope. YES! CACTUS ELBOW, no wonder this guy's body was so screwed up. Cactus chokes Simmons along the top rope, then Simmons misses a dropkick. Cactus goes to the chinlock, but gets belly-to-belly'd as Simmons begins his comeback. Simmons tries to dive onto Cactus, but flies onto the entrance ramp that WCW always had attached to the ring in those days. Cactus comes out after Simmons, but gets spinebustered by Simmons, on the ramp. Yeesh. Back in the ring, Cactus gives Simmons a bulldog, and goes up to the 2nd rope. Simmons catches him coming off the turnbuckle and powerslams him for the win, at 6:30.
After the match, ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER comes down the ramp, and into the ring. Things like this ARE why I liked WCW during that time period. It was ridiculous. Abby acts like he's going to hit Cactus with his staff, but instead, he hits Simmons with it. See, Simmons and Abby had teamed up a few times, after Cactus and Abby had a dispute about Abby being "electrocuted" at Halloween Havoc 1991. But now, Abby shows his true colors. Junkyard Dog decides to make his way to the ring, beating up security on the way. He saves Simmons from the beating, and gives Abby and Cactus a piece of their own medicine. JR says, "this is like fightin' in the hood." I really laughed at that one, but this time, didn't feel guilty about it.
Match Analysis: The angle after the match was awesome, so although the match wasn't spectacular, I'm glad WWE 24/7 stuck around to show us the angle. The match was **, and most of that is for Cactus' wild bumps. WCW was so over the top then that it was a joy to watch, and moreover, their tag team division was probably the best (workrate wise) there's ever been.
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From Clash of the Champions XIX, as part of the Quarterfinals for the NWA Tag Team Championship, it's Terry Gordy and Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. Rick and Scott Steiner. The tournament finished up at Great American Bash '92, for those who are interested. By that I mean, the tournament took up the entire PPV, outside of a Sting/Vader match Awful, awful idea. The tournament had "representatives" from different countries. You know, to reinforce the concept of the NWA being a world organization, and all.
Blow-by-blow: Gordy and Rick start, and they trade amateur wrestling moves for about 6 or 7 minutes. If you don't like amateur wrestling, you won't like the match. Gordy tries a half crab during that sequence, and Rick gets to the ropes. Scott comes in and tries a belly-to-belly, but can't get it, as Gordy backdrops him instead. Scott tries to bridge out of the pinning attempt, but Gordy's so damn big that he just can't do it. Scott gives Gordy a t-bone suplex instead, and now, Dr. Death tags in. Williams takes Scott down, but they wind up in the ropes. Rick tags in and gives Williams a belly-to-belly, then takes him down. Williams slaps Rick across the face once he comes in, and gives him a huge lariat, which Rick sells with a backflip. Yeah, Rick Steiner just backflipped off a clothesline. I was surprised. Gordy comes in, and clotheslines Rick again for a 2 count. Rick gives Gordy a belly-to-belly on a counter move, then Scott tags in. Scott gives Gordy a backdrop and STEINERLINE, then does that front underhook suplex of his. It's not a powerbomb, he just drops the guy to the side. So, suplex. Scott misses a dropkick, so Gordy applies an STF. Terry lets go of the hold and tags in Williams, who sticks out his knee for Gordy to drop Scott Steiner on. Williams gives him a backbreaker for two, and takes out the leg of Scott. The left knee is the body part which is in pain in this match. Gordy tags in and gets a powerslam, before applying a leg grapevine. He breaks the hold and tags Williams in, who along with Gordy, gets in a 3 point stance and delivers a shoulderblock to Scott. Scott dropkicks Williams as his leg was being held, and tags in Rick. The referee doesn't see it, though. Rick lines Williams out, then brawls with Gordy. Afterward, he powerslams Williams, but the referee never saw the tag. Outside the ring, Scott Steiner gets chopblocked on his bad knee, and Rick's still brawling with Gordy. Williams gives Scott a press slam which turns into a powerslam for 2, and then Scott gets his leg taken out by Gordy as the referees back is turned, leading to the pinfall for Gordy and Williams at 15:13.
Match Analysis: Hate, hate, hate that finish. Always hated it. It came out of nowhere, just when the match was starting to get good. Hopefully the Beach Blast '92 match is better, and hopefully we get to see it soon. **3/4. IMO, that's pretty much the definition of a match that gets a 3/4. Something about the match has to be off (in this case, the finish) OR it has to be lacking that extra something to give it a boost. I think I've explained myself.
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From Great American Bash 1997, it's Kevin Greene vs. Mongo McMichael w/Debra.
Blow-by-blow: JR said the match was bowling shoe ugly, well, we'll see. Greene sprints into the ring, and gives Mongo a forearm and clothesline. Mongo bails, and trips Greene, then smashes Greene's knee into the ring apron. He rubs Greene's face into the mat, and taunts Greene's mother, who's in the crowd. Mongo brings Greene over to his mother, who hits Mongo with her purse. I laughed. The crowd chants "MONGO," cause they're in Illinois and all. Mongo's a former Chicago Bear, see. Mongo kicks Greene in the ribs, and gives him a neckbreaker for 2. Greene gets a Thesz Press, but when he charges into Mongo again, Mongo gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Greene gives him a 10 punch in the corner after a few rights, but is given an inverted atomic drop by Mongo. Mongo gets a dropkick for 2, and whips Greene hard into the buckle. He twists Greene's ankle, as Dusty slips in a Benoit reference during the match. Greene comes back with a dropkick, and goes to the top for a clothesline that gets 2, only 2 because Mongo's foot was on the bottom rope. Greene clotheslines him over the top rope, and gives him a bodyslam. Debra tries to show some skin in order to distract Greene, but that doesn't do anything. On the inside, Greene misses a charge towards the corner, so Mongo starts choking him. Jeff Jarrett comes down to the ring, and hits Mongo with the briefcase on accident. OOPS. Greene pins Mongo at 9:22, and gets the win.
Match Analysis: This is pretty much what led to Jarrett being kicked out of the Horsemen, in case you were wondering. JR's on crack. The match wasn't bad, it was probably the best singles match I've seen with Mongo involved. I'm dead serious. *3/4.
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From Wrestlemania X7, the last match in the shorties section this month is The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, for The Rock's WWF Title. The match is no disqualification.
Blow-by-blow: Austin's music is changed back from the Disturbed version, to the version we all know well. Bothers me a little. The Rock gets booed, as we know. I think all of us have seen this match. Austin misses a belt shot at the start of the match, and Thesz Presses the Rock. Austin with an elbowdrop, but as he runs the ropes again, Rock gives him a swinging neckbreaker. Both try for the Stunner, until Austin tosses the Rock out of the ring. And Rocky hit the floor HARD. They brawl into the crowd, and trade punches, before they come back to the ring. Austin's face gets rammed into the announce table, but he comes back with a clothesline. The crowd is so rabid for this match, words can't really describe it. Austin scrapes the face of Rocky with his knee brace, and on the inside, as Rocky's draped along the 2nd rope, Austin jumps on him and gets a 2 count. An Austin superplex gets two, and guys...we aren't even 5:00 into the bout yet. Austin takes the buckle pad off, but Rocky gives him a flying forearm. A belly-to-belly throw by the Rock gets 2, and then he clotheslines Austin over the top rope. He scares the referee away after ramming Austin into the table, but gets hit by the ring bell and blades. There's hardly any blood. The Rock climbs on the table, as if trying to get away, but falls through it. Back in, Austin tries to ram Rocky into the exposed turnbuckle, but he's unable to, so Austin gets a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Austin STOMPS A MUDHOLE WALKIN IT DRY on the Rock, but gets clotheslined after arguing with the ref for a bit. Finally, the ROCK rams Austin into the exposed turnbuckle, and returns the favor from earlier, hitting Austin with the ringbell. Now Austin's bleeding, as Rocky's cover gets a 2 count. Rocky beats Austin up, all the way around the ring. He elbows Austin twice, as Austin's on the apron. Austin fights back BAH GAWD, and slams Rocky on the barrier outside the ring. He slingshots Rocky into the post, and hits him with a television monitor. Now Rocky's bleeding, but I've got the feeling it was fake blood. He and Hebner were awfully close to each other after Rocky got hit with the monitor, and for a long time too. Plus, why would he blade twice when he has to shoot a movie? He wouldn't. On the inside, Rocky applies the SHARPSHOOTER. Well, they're going for WrestleMania 13 here. The visuals work. After, they do the same with Rocky caught in the SHARPSHOOTER, thanks to Austin. Funny little spot. Rocky gets out of the move, but Austin applies the SHARPSHOOTER again. Rocky gets to the ropes, but there's no DQ. So, Austin flips the bird at Hebner. Austin breaks the hold, and goes for the MILLION DOLLAR DREAM. Rocky does the spot where he kicks off the turnbuckle to put Austin in a pinning predicament, but only gets two. They're going for really obscure shit here, that the casual fan just isn't going to notice. I like that. Rocky gets the STONE COLD STUNNER for a 2 count, so Vince McMahon decides to grace us with his presence at ringside. An Austin spinebuster gets 2, so Rocky returns the favor with a spinebuster of his own, which leads to...THE PEOPLE'S ELBOWii! It only gets a 2 count though, because that dastardly Mr. McMahon pulled the Rock off during the count. Rock chases Vince, but as he gets back into the ring, he hits ROCK BOTTOM, thanks to Austin. Austin's cover only gets 2, so he tries the STUNNER. Can't get that, as Rocky pushes him into Hebner. Ref bump time. Austin gives Rock a lowblow, then holds the Rock for Vince to hit him with a chair, which he does. The first time I saw this match, live, I thought for sure that Vince would hit Austin. The ref's out for the count, but when he wakes up, Austin's cover gets 2. Rock gets a ROCK BOTTOM, but Vince distracts the official. Rocky punches Vince, but gets STUNNED as he turns around. His sell of the move is so ridiculous, but I like it. It gets a 2 COUNT, the crowd really thought the match was over. Austin gets handed a chair by Vince, but the single chairshot gets 2. He's thinking, "what does it take?" Finally, Austin says "fuck it," hits Rocky 16 TIMES with the chair, and pins him for the win at 28:07. The program shows Vince and Austin shaking hands, but not the beer drinking that comes afterward.
Match Analysis: It's the best WWF Title match ever. Do I need to say more? *****, and I liked the ending, contrary to what most people think. All the spots were well done, and fake blood doesn't bother me. After all, it's a fake sport.
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For the shorties and Piper section over the whole month...
Rating: Great. Selection MAYBE could have been better, so no full rating. I would've liked to see something different than the William Perry thing. There was a lot to choose from.
Best Match: The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Duh.
Worst Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper in a boxing match. This match was dogshit, so, when WrestleMania 2 gets reviewed, I'll review it.
Can't do loudest sound on this...kinda irrelevant.
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Well, ECW will be up next. I want to do Survivor Series '95, but I have to wait.
Well, at least this latest example of ridiculous PC bullshit isn't happening in America.
Yet.
Link
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So how did the second part of helping my brother move go this past weekend?
Since the heavy furniture was already gone, it was mostly boxes left to move. Boxes are always easier, especially when you have the help of a dolly. There was a still a little too much disorganization, in that the kitchen hadn't been packed at all and the few remaining furniture pieces still had stuff in them and thus couldn't be moved without having to be cleaned out first, but, to my great surprise, it was a pretty easy day.
Well, unless you factor in these events:
- sfaJill wanting to kill my sister-in-law, who, for the second week in a row, perfected the art of sitting on her ass doing nothing all day (using the excuse of "I'm watching the kid") while sfaJill packed box after box of crap in the kitchen. (Note: sfaJill found no less than NINE crock pots in the one cabinet).
- Despite a few menacing clouds earlier in the morning, the rain held off and the sky cleared...right until brother and I were making a run to the storage unit to drop off the first load of crap. At that point the heavens opened completely, dumping an insane amount of rain on us for 5-10 minutes. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that we hadn't covered anything (because there were no rain clouds at the house!), so every box and piece of furniture we had packed was left completely soaked. Among the wreckage was the queen sized pillowtop mattress they paid $700 for just last year...
- I got into a fender bender on the drive over Saturday morning, leaving my truck with a busted turn signal and an estimate of $2,500 to replace the bumper and fix the dent in the hood. Fucking people who don't use turn signals...
9 p.m.
• So I haven't been much of a fan of the "It's Comcastic" ad campaign, but some of these ads featuring people trying to change history because they are on a NEW COMCAST PHONE LINE do get a chuckle out of me. "You tiger now." "Sorry, you're still going to lose your leg." Well, it's better than most of the shit on TV. But here's the reason I really like these ads. Well, not "really like." How about "think are OK." That's better. Oh, yeah. Shiny object.
Back in Ohio I worked at a place that had projects. If you didn't make it to training for a project, you didn't get put on a project. You didn't get put on a project, you didn't work. Simple enough. Well, I remember this one guy (I forget his name) who was signed up for a project and didn't show up for the two-three days of training. He came in the next day expecting to get one-on-one training. Ha. What made this all the funnier was seeing my one boss explain to him that he wasn't going to be working for the next month or two because of this. Here's how the conversation went down. For the sake of the discussion, I'll call the guy Mike.
Boss: "Mike, you didn't show up for training. You can't work on this project."
Mike: "I know that, but can't you get someone to show me how to do this one?"
Boss: "No. They are all working with the people who showed up for training. You didn't and if someone doesn't show up for training they don't work on a project."
Mike: "I know that but I have come on other projects midway through."
Boss: "That's because you were in a group that was going to assist with a project and your whole group got trained."
Mike: "I know that but I've come in when you people asked me to."
Boss: "But that doesn't matter. You aren't going to be working on this project because you didn't show up for the required training."
Mike: "I know that but..."
And on and on and on. God was it hilarious to hear him reply after every exchange, "I know that." I never heard from this guy again. Oh well.
Finally, more new stuff. I needed to finish watching something before the Laker game started, so Saturday Night's Main Event is on the menu. I've never watched one of these, only clips from various ones. That's not a joke. Date in the title is the date that the show aired.
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The opening to the show is fuckin' bizarre. It's a bunch of mini-promos, with the Ultimate Warrior (this one was the best), Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage (Elizabeth...my goodness), Ted DiBiase (who says Hercules is bought and paid for), and Hulk Hogan. Why can't we see stuff like this now?
Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary, and since they're in California, Jesse gets top billing. Therefore, he needs to be the one to talk first whenever a match is being introduced. Or so he says.
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Gene Okerlund is with Super Ninja and Mr. Fuji, at which point Fuji mumbles about things I can't understand. Only thing I got out of that was that Super Ninja trained on 7 continents, in 7 special arts. Well. After that, Gene's with the Ultimate Warrior. I understood even less than I did during the previous interview. Now that's hard to believe.
Super Ninja is facing the ULTIMATE WARRIOR for the Intercontinental Title, and I don't think I need to explain who's the champ and challenger, do I? Ninja's sole offense in the bout is a chop, karate kick, and big boot. All three do nothing. Now, we go to school. Warrior gives Ninja a big boot which puts Ninja out of the ring, and Warrior follows him, then press slams him back into the ring. Warrior gives Ninja a back elbow, and signals that the end is near. Clothesline, press slam, big splash, and Warrior retains his title at 2:10. 1/4*. A squash if there ever was one.
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Now, we flashback to Hercules being bought as a slave by Ted DiBiase. Yeah, I said it, a slave. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This took place on the Superstars episode of 10/1/88. In case you were interested.
Jesse Ventura conducts an interview with DiBiase and Virgil, and Jesse's so obviously scripted or reading from a teleprompter that it's ridiculous. Did he make himself sound that way on purpose or what, because it was so overly done that that's how I interpreted it. DiBiase will take possession of Hercules if Virgil wins tonight, but when asked why he won't do the dirty work himself, Ted says he won't interact with his slaves.
Gene Okerlund's with Hercules, he doesn't say much of note.
And now, we have Virgil w/Ted DiBiase vs. Hercules, if Hercules loses, DiBiase will take possession of him.
Before the match, Jesse asks Vince if he thinks Hercules looks a little like Kunta Kinte. Might make me a bad person, but I laughed. Only because I was caught unawares, and I wasn't thinking about how un-politically incorrect wrestling was at the time. Both DiBiase and Virgil attack Hercules at the start of the match, but Hercules beats the both of them up. Herc backdrops Virgil, and clotheslines him over the top rope. Hercules chases DiBiase around the ring, and back inside, backdrops Virgil again. He gives Virgil a back elbow and then an elbowdrop, then punches him. DiBiase distracts Hercules in order to get him to stop, but afterward, Hercules gives Virgil a kneelift. He clotheslines Virgil twice, then powerslams him for the win at 3:23. After the match, Hercules throws Virgil out of the ring, onto DiBiase. 1/2*, mostly for the excess stuff going on.
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Flashback to Jake Roberts scaring Andre with his snake, Damien. Yeah, this is when we found out that Andre was afraid of snakes. He "passed out" with the snake coiled around him. I always found this funny, albeit sad, seeing the role that Andre was reduced to. I'll touch on that a little more after the next match.
Andre the Giant is with Mean Gene, obviously Gene asks him about snakes, but Andre doesn't want to hear it. Savage and Elizabeth are with Gene afterward, and Macho says that since Hogan beat Andre, he can do it too.
The "main event" of the show is Andre the Giant w/Bobby Heenan vs. Macho Man Randy Savage w/Elizabeth, for Savage's WWF Title.
Andre chokes Savage, then headbutts him. Honestly, I described the entire match, right there. SO, I'll keep the review of the match brief, instead of repeating the same thing over and over again. Andre squashes Savage in the corner, and applies a front facelock, after a Savage knee to the back of Andre. Andre chokes Savage with the strap of his tights, which he hides from the referee. This is the only time during the match in which Andre is near the center of the ring. He keeps doing it, and while doing so, he headbutts Savage in the back. Savage gives him a jawbreaker, and Andre applies a nerve hold. The dubbed sound of the crowd makes this match better than it would have been otherwise. Yes, I said dubbed. If you think otherwise, you're wrong. Macho gives Andre a running elbow to the head and an axhandle from the 2nd rope, which puts Andre down for the first time in the bout. Jake Roberts makes his first appearance of the night, with Damien. Damien hides the snake under the ring, and Andre finally notices him. He knows the snake has been put somewhere, but doesn't know where that is. The official says Jake needs to leave ringside, and he does, after whispering something to Savage.
commercial break
and we're back, as Heenan's being told by Andre to find the snake. Andre chops Savage, and Heenan still can't find the snake. Macho gives Andre a running axhandle, then gets sat on by Andre. This is really sad. Heenan gets close to where the snake is, so now Macho starts chasing him. Now we know what Jake said to Savage before the commercial break. Andre brings Macho in the hard way, and Heenan's finally found the snake. Jake comes back to ringside and he's got the snake, at which point I notice that Andre's bleeding, and the bell rings at 8:41, as both wrestlers are disqualified. Macho beats up Heenan, and knocks Andre into the ropes, where Andre is tied up. Jake brings Damien out of the bag, but Andre gets untied by Heenan and the referee, so he leaves. Macho and Elizabeth celebrate, but for no reason at all. 1/4*, just for the extra stuff, again. It's so hard to watch Andre when Andre has to be next to the ropes at all times. There was only one point in the match that he wasn't. Just sad, is all. The match was ok in theory, all of Savage's offense was realistic in that he had to move quickly around Andre and sneak in little shots when he could. Anyhow, there's more to come.
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Hacksaw Jim Duggan has an interview with Gene Okerlund, before his match against Boris Zhukov. The winner gets their flag raised, obviously, everyone knows which flags would get raised in the event. They stare at each other, then Duggan gives Zhukov an atomic drop. Zhukov gives him some back scratch fever, then Duggan misses an elbow drop. Duggan gives Zhukov a clothesline, then bodyslams him. 3 point stance time, clothesline out of that, and Duggan wins at 2:25. DUD. The American Flag gets raised, as the stipulation stated, and the American national anthem follows.
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Flashback to the Big Bossman attacking Hulk Hogan on the Brother Love Show, and Bossman handcuffed Hogan to the guardrail and beat him with his nightstick.
Now, we have the Brother Love Show, with Slick and Hulk Hogan as the guests. They talk about what happened "last night", which was their way of saying, we can't tell you (meaning the live audience) about Survivor Series, so we'll say last night instead. No harm, no foul. Hogan beats both Slick and Love up at the end of the show, after Love had cut him off throughout the interview. Hogan handcuffs Love to the top rope, and clotheslines him out of the ring. I bet that hurt. He's hanging by his hand. Hogan poses, and that's the end of that. Meh.
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Jesse's at the interview area again, and this time it's the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, along with Jimmy Hart. They have an announcement...they've moved to the USA!!! Memphis, Tennessee, at that.
The last match of the night is the Young Stallions vs. the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/Jimmy Hart.
Powers and Jacques start the match, and Jacques shoulderblocks Powers, then dropkicks him after countering his backdrop. Powers goes up for a 10 punch in the corner, but Hart hits him in the leg with his megaphone. Raymond comes in with a savate kick, and gives Powers a backbreaker onto the knee of Jacques. Jacques misses a springboard crossbody, and Roma finally tags in. He powerslams Jacques, and gives him a flying fistdrop from up top. Now Roma goes up, and gets a missile dropkick. Too bad for him though, the Rougeaus regain control, and hit Roma with that double team finish of their's at 3:05, for the win. I don't know the name of the finisher. *1/2.
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Jesse's with Andre and Heenan, and Andre says Jake needs to fight like a man. I get a lot of enjoyment out of Andre's interviews, I don't really know why, though.
Mean Gene's with Jake, and then with Hogan afterward. The Hogan/Bossman thing got finished at the 2nd Main Event, for the most part anyway, but they had a good cage match at MSG afterward that's worth checking out.
Show's over.
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Rating: Decent. The show seems too manufactured for my taste, but I don't know whether or not all the SNME's are like this. It seemed like every little thing was scripted to a T. The commentary too. There weren't any matches worth going out of your way for, but the show was nice at giving a look at what they were building to before the WrestleMania programs. For that, a decent rating applies. It was a fun show that I'll watch again. If you're one of those people that only cares about workrate, this isn't for you.
Best Match: Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Young Stallions.
Worst Match: Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Boris Zhukov. It was the only one I got no enjoyment out of.
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Well, I'm not going to review 2 of the 3 Piper matches, and I'll explain why. If I review the boxing match, I've reviewed a large portion of Wrestlemania 2 already, cause I'm reviewing the shorties section next.. I don't want to review so much of one show without doing the whole thing. As far as the dog-collar match goes, I'm saving that until Starrcade 83 gets posted. Sorry. That's a decision I made a while ago. I'll review the match from the War to Settle the Score, with the shorties matches that I'll have up tomorrow. When the History of the WWE Championship DVD gets posted, it's going to be the same. I'll only review matches from non-PPV shows then. I just don't want to review matches that were the sole reason to watch a show. Matches from WM X7 are much different. Austin/Rock, I'll have that up with the rest.
8 p.m.
• Hmmm, when the better half went to get tickets for Hannah Montana's Shittsburgh show, she wasn't able to order them on-line. Then again, she wasn't in the super-secret club that this article mentions. However, there was a bit of a local brouhaha because it seemed people dumb devoted enough to sign up for that super-secret club weren't able to get tickets either. I blame the Bush Administration.
And for the record, Mrs. kkk was trying to get the tickets for her one niece.
7:15 p.m.
• Well I hope he at least got one big time-out.
Speaking of "kids," remember that invader who ran off to Mexico with his teacher? Peep this.
So wait a second. I thought 13-year-old boys were just getting their mack on with female teachers that they boink. Now they're "victims" of "sex crimes"? Which is it?
Because sfaJill has moved into the next phase of our her home renovation process--a phase that requires us to buy all new towels for our bathroom (in colors that are almost exactly the same as what we currently have)--we spent yesterday morning at JC Penney. They were having a Veterans' Sale and, between that sale and the coupons we'd saved, we could get these towels at just more than 50% off. Score.
The highlight of the trip for me came later though, when we stopped in at Barnes & Noble to browse around for a bit. I was thumbing through some book about the Cowboys on the bargain table; sfaJill walked over, curious about what I was reading, when she noticed that on the table next to the Cowboys book was the Sports Illustrated "painted on" swimsuit book. No joking--she picked it up and spent the next 20 minutes dissecting each picture inside with such constructive remarks as "Oh, God how slutty is she?" and "Whore" and "Wow, look at that--another nipple!"
I have no idea if she did it solely for my benefit or not (I suspect not--she's very much the jealous type), but it was fucking hilarious.
10: 30 p.m.
• Global warming blahblahblah.
You know, can you guy worry about genocide and stuff before trying to tackle this sort of stuff?
10 p.m.
• I saw the opening to this article without the dateline in view.
Time to guess where the story took place -- Alabama, West Virginia, Mississippi?
Try Washington.
9 p.m.
• So the better half and I went to the local Chinese buffet today, and they (thankfully) hired some chick who spoke English to make customer transactions. Now I don’t know if this chick was naturally well-endowed or if it was the low-cut shirt doing most of the talking; however, this was a prime example of a “cleavage trap.” I’m sorry, but I’m a believer in “less is more.” If a woman has to showcase her goods in such a blatant manner, chances are one of several things:
1) They have no brain or personality and have to rely on their fun bags for self-satisfaction.
2) It’s a “trap,” which they will more than happily spring on some guy they don’t want staring at their chest, going “OMG U PERVERT~!”
3) Ample ventilation is needed to prevent overheating “down there.”
Not sure what the reason was for our customer service representative. All I cared about was that I didn’t have to say, “excuse me?” or “huh?” 20 times when trying to understand what the cashier was saying. God I’m getting old.
7 a.m.
• So I got an e-mail from some place that asked "Don't know where to meet the local bar slut?" Well it made me laugh. Then again, perhaps it being 7 a.m. on a Monday morning might have something to do with it, too.
Yup, next month in Dec. on the 15th, I make my in-ring pro wrestling debut and that's because 3 guys decided to beat me up at the last Devil Mountain Wrestling show. Yup....three international assholes decided to blantly take me out, so next month on the 15, Ref Toby doesn't count anymore, Ref Toby gets payback!
Yes, I know, that was corny. I haven't quite figured out the art of the face promo yet. It's a work in progress, and I'm kinda getting there but doing the face promo in all seriousness is kinda hard. Anyways, let me explain the set up for my first wrestling match next month on the 15th.
Last Saturday, November 3rd, was Devil Mountain Wrestling. I was Refereeing The Fun Athletic Guys Kimo and Chico, or the F.A.Gs for short, vs Sheik Kahn Abodi and Alexis Darevko. I was Refereeing the match and everything was going...umm out of controlish but I had things under normal Referee control. Anyways, so The Fun Atheltic Guys pretty much have Sheik pinned and I'm in the middle of my count, when all of a sudden I'm pulled from out of the ring. I turn around and it's someone dressed up in Sheik clotheing. I call for the bell when I'm all of a sudden thrown into the post.
After a few minutes, my limp body is thrown in the ring and picked up over Darevko's head and he gives me a high razors edge, then as soon as I land, I open my eyes just soon enough to see and feel Sheik Kahn Abodi land a frogsplash on me. After seeing the video footage of the aftermath and I found out who the mystery guy in Sheik's clotheing was who attacked me....canadian Superstar Anton Vorhees. It seems Anton, Darevko, and Sheik has formed some kind if International Alliance.
Well I asked our Commish's permission and requested that I team up with Kimo and Chico to take them on in a match. He wasn't willing at first, but with my charm and wit, he changed his mind so now it's on!!!!
Dec. 15th, it will be Myself and The Fun Athletic Guys Kimo and Chico vs Sheik Kahn Abodi, Alexis darevko, and Anton Vorhees! The Stripes come off and the athletic tape goes on!
.....yeah that was corny too, I know.
Here's a quick revision to the Bowl Bubble entry after yesterday's results.
ACC
Bowls: BCS/Orange, Chick-Fil-A, Gator, Champs Sports, Music City, Meineke Car Care, Emerald, Humanitarian
Locks: Boston College, Clemson, Virginia, Virginia Tech
Near Locks: Florida State, Georgia Tech, Wake Forest
On the Bubble: Maryland, Miami, N.C. State
Maryland's upset of Boston College has increased the chances of possibly ten bowl eligible teams in the conference which means getting win #7 is even more important now. I still don't see FSU getting passed over at 6-6 as at worst they'll get grabbed by the Humanitarian Bowl. Miami looks finished after last night's debacle against UVA as they show no signs that they can pull off a road upset of Virginia Tech or Boston College.
Big XII
Bowls: BCS/Fiesta, Cotton, Holiday, Gator or Sun, Alamo, Insight, Independence, Texas
Locks: Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Colorado, Kansas State, Nebraska
Colorado gets bumped down to the bubble after their loss to Iowa State, who's suddenly become a bit of a pest in the conference. Their game against Nebraska in two weeks will now be for a bowl bid for the winner. Because of the Colorado and Kansas State losses, Oklahoma State and Texas A&M have locked up bids. The conference will definitely get two teams in BCS bowls which gives them nine potential bids and that will be the maximum number of bowl eligible teams the conference can get at this point. The Texas Bowl can become an open bid of K-State fails to become bowl eligible.
Big East
Bowls: BCS, Gator or Sun, Meineke Car Care, International, PapaJohns.com
Locks: Cincinnati, Connecticut, South Florida, West Virginia
Near Locks: Rutgers
On the Bubble: Louisville, Pittsburgh
Only change here is USF locking up a bid as expected. Rutgers locks up a bid if they take care of Pitt at home next week.
Big Ten
Bowls: BCS/Rose, Capital One, Outback, Alamo, Champs Sports, Insight, Motor City
Locks: Illinois, Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, Ohio State
Near Locks: Iowa, Purdue
On the Bubble: Indiana, Michigan State, Northwestern
Big Ten is the one conference that wraps up it's season next week so we will probably have a pretty good idea of who is going where after Saturday. The losses of Ohio State and Michigan have crippled the odds that the conference gets two BCS bids although there is still a slim chance if Michigan wins their game as OSU still could end up in the Top 14 if enough things go their way the final two weeks. Michigan winning would also be great news for the WAC, which I'll get to. If they don't get two in the BCS that means as many as three teams from the conference could be eligible but end up staying home so win #7 is an absolute must. Iowa has the easiest game with Western Michigan at home while Northwestern has the longest odds with a trip to Illinois.
Edit: I bumped Purdue down to near lock as if they lose to Indiana they drop to 7-5 and there might not be a bid available if enough of the six win teams get that seventh win.
Conference USA
Bowls: Liberty, GMAC, Texas, PapaJohns.com, Hawaii, New Orleans
Locks: Houston, Tulsa, UCF
Near Locks: East Carolina, Memphis, Southern Miss
On the Bubble: UTEP
Memphis' surprising win over Southern Miss almost assures the conference will get a very undeserving 6th bid as the Tigers finish with UAB and SMU at home. I dropped ECU to near lock after their shocking loss to pitiful Marshall but they should beat Tulane at home to get win #7.
MAC
Bowls: Motor City, GMAC, International
Locks: None
Near Locks: Bowling Green, Central Michigan
On the Bubble: Ball State, Buffalo, Miami of Ohio, Toledo
Only change is Ohio's bubble bursting. Buffalo is 4-6 but I think they are still mathematically alive to win the East division and I'm too lazy to look up the MAC tiebreaks so I'll just leave them there.
Mountain West
Bowls: Las Vegas, Poinsettia, Armed Forces, New Mexico
Locks: Air Force, BYU
Near Locks: New Mexico, Utah
On the Bubble: San Diego State, TCU, Wyoming
Somebody should force Conference USA to give up one of their bids to the Mountain West. There's a potentially odd situation setting up in this conference which is why I'm not locking up Utah and New Mexico just yet. TCU still has a realistic chance at seven wins which means Utah or New Mexico need to get to eight wins to breathe easy. They play each other next week and for Utah it is much more important that they win because they finish at BYU. New Mexico on the other hand finishes with UNLV at home.
Pac-10
Bowls: BCS/Rose, Holiday, Sun, Las Vegas, Emerald, Armed Forces
Locks: Arizona State, California, Oregon, Oregon State, USC
Near Locks: None
On the Bubble: Arizona, UCLA, Washington State
Oregon State locked up a bid while Stanford and Washington's slim hopes ended. Already went over UCLA's plight last week and they almost beat ASU but that might have been their last hope. If Wazzu upsets the Beavers at home next week then they still would have a shot in the Apple Cup and UW might have lost Jake Locker for the season last night to a neck injury.
SEC
Bowls: BCS/Sugar, Capital One, Cotton, Outback, Chick-Fil-A, Music City, Liberty, Independence
Locks: Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, LSU, Tennessee
Near Locks: Mississippi State
On the Bubble: Arkansas, South Carolina, Vanderbilt
Kentucky locked up a bid while South Carolina might find itself in some serious trouble now due to Mississippi State's win over Alabama. Even with the loss the Tide will pick up win #7 against UL Monroe next week so they are still a lock. I've moved the Bulldogs up to a near lock as win #7 should be a given in two weeks against Ole Miss. Arkansas is now on the bubble as if they don't beat the Bulldogs at home next week they will have to upset LSU to lock up a bid. South Carolina's bowl hopes may now rest on beating red hot Clemson at home in two weeks. Vanderbilt will have to beat Tennessee and Wake Forest to have any hope as there is no chance they grab a bid at 6-6 over any of the other teams.
Sun Belt
Bowls: New Orleans
Locks: None
Near Locks: Troy
On the Bubble: Florida Atlantic
MTSU and Arkansas State were eliminated this week so the conference title will come down to the Troy/FAU game on December 1st. Troy is at seven wins now so they would have a shot at an open bid now if they were upset.
WAC
Bowls: BCS?, Humanitarian, Hawaii, New Mexico
Locks: Boise State, Hawaii
Near Locks: Fresno State
On the Bubble: Louisiana Tech, Nevada, San Jose State
Only change is New Mexico State's bubble bursting. As I alluded to in the Big Ten entry, everyone in the conference should be rooting for Michigan to beat Ohio State. If that happens it will all but guarantee a BCS bid for the winner of the Boise State/Hawaii game as there is a rule in the BCS that if a non-BCS conference champ finishes in the Top 16 and is ranked higher than any other BCS conference champ they get an automatic bid. Now of course either still has a shot at finishing in the Top 14 if they win out which also give them a BCS bid. All that being said the status of Colt Brennan could throw a lot of things in flux as he has to be doubtful for their game at Nevada on Friday. If he's out and they lose that game, then say Brennan comes back for the Boise State game and the Warriors win, then the WAC will screw itself out a BCS bid.
10 a.m.
• Oh God. So I'm listening to this hatchet job ESPN is doing on the RACIST Delaware program and it's the typical PC bullshit that ESPN can produce oh so well. Long story short, the white school doesn't want to play the black school and they're near each other. Uh, oh. RACISM~! Wait a second. These two schools play each other in other sports, which was glossed over in this report. Uh.... OK. Now there must be other reasons, right? No, it must be...
RACISM~!
Say, Penn State no longer wants to play Pitt in football. Pitt is in an urban area while State College is white as snow. What does this mean? JoPa is a, all together now...
RACIST~!
• Time for this week's pickkks:
Atlanta @ Carolina (4.5)
Have I mentioned that I really hate the Panthers? When I pick them to lose they win. When I pick them to win/cover they stink up the joint. I'm expecting a 30-point blowout.
(3.5) Buffalo @ Miami
Miami has to win SOMETIME, don't they?
Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
Yeah, because picking against the Steelers when they have a near double-digit spread works out so well for me. Pittsburgh will score 27
Denver @ Kansas City (3.5)
Gag. I know I'll be wrong either way I go. If I go with Denver, they will show me how bad they really are. If I go with Kansas City, Denver will show me theyr aren't as bad as I really think they are. I'll go with the Chiefs with that whole "bad Denver running defense" thing.
Jacksonville @ Tennessee (4.5)
Crap. Both quarterbacks don't look good on paper (is Gerard sitll out?), but I'll go with the Titans anyway. And big deal regarding Vince Young's "Super Bowl" comments a while back. What do you want him to say? "Maybe we'll reach .500 this year -- how's that, guys?" Can't nobody tell Vince Young nothing what he can't do.
Minnesota @ Green Bay (6.5)
The Packers beat the Vikings at Minnesota. I'll go with Green Bay again.
Philadelphia @ Washington (3.5)
I loved the talk this week about how McNabb's is getting blamed too much for the Eagles' woes.
St. Louis @ New Orleans (11.5)
I'll ride the Saints' jock until they crap out.
Cincinnati @ Baltimore (4.5)
Hmm, I don't know where to go with this one. Oh what the hell, I'll go with the Bengals
(3.5) Chicago @ Oakland
That Hester guy will score on a return and the Bears will win 7-0.
(1.5) Dallas @ N.Y. Giants
I don't care for the Va-Giants. Go Cowboys.
Detroit @ Arizona (1.5)
From what I seen of the Lions schedule, they better win this one because it's going to get tougher.
(3.5) Indianapolis @ San Diego
I think Indy will rebound from last night's SUPER BOWL 41 1/2 loss.
San Francisco @ Seattle (10.5)
Man, whatever team gets to play Seattle in the second round of the playoffs (Seattle will win its first-round home game), will be like getting a two-week bye.
9:30 a.m.
• AHAHAHAHA. I just heard an "Outside the Lines" teaser about why Delaware won't play Delaware State in football. "One school is made up of white students. The other is black." Gee, I wonder what's coming up? Do I even need to answer this one?
