Following up on my Bengals post, there was a Q&A with none other than Mike Brown in today's Cincinnati Enquirer. This is perhaps the most comical example of front office football buffoonery ever recorded.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in the previous post that the Bengals do NOT have an official GM. When he took over the team as president in 1992, Mikey was basically the GM/President. When asked during this Q&A if he would hire a GM, he said no, we currently have a 3-headed GM consisting of himself, his daughter Katie Blackburn, and his son-in-law Troy Blackburn (Katie's husband).
Here are some choice samples:
What's served for lunch? Right you tight-ass, gotta check the prices on the vegetable tray.
King Kong, rabbits...my head is spinning.
Jesus, now elephants too?
You're not sure who Hines Ward is? It's kind of important seeing how Pittsburgh is in your division.
Awwwwwww, he's glum.
Finally a decent horror moive...from 27 years ago. After the crap movies I saw for Halloween, I finally saw a decent one this weekend. "The Burning" is a classic summer camp slasher from 1980. In a word, awesome. I love the free-wheeling, PC-free attitude of those times. Kids at summer camp swearing, smoking, running around with beebee guns shooting at people. In other things that would get you expelled and sent to a social worker these days. The story involves a mean summer camp caretaker who is horribly burned in a prank gone bad. Of course he exacts his revenge with hedge clippers. Fuckin A.
During NBC's laughable green segment during the SNF halftime show, Matt Lauer referred to Al Gore as one of the "best minds" on Climate Change. Best minds? What exactly is his science degree in?
So the purpose of the segment is turns off the lights in the studio for the halftime show to demonstate being green. I'm not kidding. They had candles on the desk. Yet their generators were certainly still going, the giant plasma screen was on behind Costas' head, all the power necessary to video link to Lauer on the other side of the world was not shut down. This had to be an SNL skit, right?
We got our email notice about a Holiday Party at work today to take place December 14th. That's right, Holiday Party, not Christmas Party. Earlier this month we received an email about the Thanksgiving Luncheon that will take place November 14th. Ah PC split personality, I love it. Why is it OK to willy nilly use the word "Thanksgiving", and yet "Christmas" must NOT be used. Everyone knows it is because of Christmas that we have this party, but we must not name it so.
ECW looked easy, and it was. So here.
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An Axl Rotten video package opens the show, and you know why? It's cause he's facing Rob Van Dam in the first match. In Rob Van Dam's FIRST ECW match, as well.
Van Dam and Rotten both do some faux karate kicks, and Rotten starts the action with an eye rake. Van Dam does a japanese armdrag, then gets a springboard crossbody for a 2 count. RVD does these funny looking karate punches on Rotten, and puts Rotten into the corner, where he does that 'ram into a guy twice with the shoulder, then flip and do it again' thing. Rotten rakes RVD in the eyes, inevitably causing Van Dam to miss a spinning kick (of course that wasn't the reason). Rotten does a t-bone suplex, which certainly was a surprise to me, and clotheslines RVD, so RVD does a 360 sell of the move. Nice. Axl slams Rob and goes up top, but misses an elbowdrop. This match ain't as bad as I thought it'd be. Rob gets a legsweep, and a big splash from up top for 2. Axl winds up on the outside, and Rob comes out with a somersault plancha. Rotten comes in, and gets kicked by Van Dam as Van Dam came off the top rope. A standing moonsault gets 2, and Axl misses a charge in the corner after some left hands. Rob finishes Axl with a spinning slam and split-legged moonsault. *3/4. That's probably one of the best Axl matches I've seen. No joke. Remember, Jim Cornette hates Ian Rotten, not Axl. I don't disagree with him. Ian and his promotion, IWA-Mid South, are a large part of what is wrong about independent wrestling. I'm obviously referring to their violent nature.
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A video package runs which highlights events from the past few weeks of ECW television. Those highlights are...the return of the FRANCHISE, Francine being totally eliminated, Cactus Jack helping Mikey Whipwreck win both the TV Title and Tag Team Titles from 2 Cold Scorpio, the subsequent reaction from Raven when Cactus tried to bring Mikey to give the titles to Raven, in which Raven and Cactus had a bit of an altercation. Last but not least, we have the clip that denotes a possible Taz/911 feud (which never happened, because 911 left ECW), and Beulah's announcement that she's pregnant. The video package was pretty long, and the audio was terrible. Bad song selection.
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Taz is facing Hack Myers, and I'd be making a big mistake if I didn't mention Myers' nickname. It's "the Shah." Now, you ask, why is it the Shah? Well....after every move, punch or kick that he does, both he and the crowd yell out, SHAH. It's actually funny. When I saw the nickname and heard the 'shahing' for the first time, I thought it was a little dumb. But it grew on me, and it's pretty damn funny.
Bill Alfonso accompanies Taz to the ring, and he's wearing a Cowboys jersey. In Philadelphia. That's a big no-no. The heat deflects to Taz as it's supposed to, and the crowd starts a "fuck you Taz" chant. Hack starts with a "shah", no, excuse me, armwringer, but it doesn't do much, as shown when Taz hiptosses him. Taz applies an armbar, but Hack makes it to the ropes. Taz gives Hack a droptoehold and applies a rear naked choke, but again, Hack reaches the ropes. Hack starts a comeback, which consists of punches, until Taz gets a halfnelson Tazplex. A release german suplex puts Hack on his head, and the Tazmission finishes. Well, that didn't last long. *. Taz tells everyone to fuck off. Nothing about 911, just a bit about Sabu, and the statement made in the last sentence.
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Next is a bit of footage from House Party 96, unfortunately, it's a hack job. I've heard good things about this match between Sabu and Stevie Richards, though, so try to find it. Sabu does a sunsetflip powerbomb from the ring to the floor on Richards, and it's worth noting that the floor isn't padded. Of course, this IS EXTREME. The thud of Richards head on the concrete was sick. Sabu wins it with the atomic Arabian facebuster, btw.
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Now, we go to the end of the show, even though Styles and Tazz said we'd see footage of Sandman vs. Konnan. Guess not, and it's probably for the better. Strange as I am, I wanted to see it. The promo reel goes in this order. Tommy Dreamer and Beulah, Raven, Richards and the Blue Meanie, Fonzie and Taz, the Pitbulls, the Eliminators, and the Franchise tells Tommy Dreamer that he'll team up with Tommy against Whipwreck and Cactus. The FRANCHISE wants Cactus. He doesn't care about Mikey.
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End show.
Not as good as last week, I suppose that's the only way to give these an overall rating. They're short, so if you read this before watching and don't like the sound of what's there, don't watch it. Or watch it, and be bored. Whatever. Notable for the debut of RVD, and not much else. It took me about 20-30 minutes to type this, so hey. Easy review, that's why I got it over with. Prime Time Wrestling has to be next, otherwise it WILL go off. And I haven't watched it yet.
9 p.m.
• So I clicked on one of those right-wing t-shirt links by accident and came across this. Had no idea of this before creating my TSM account's subject line. Well, I'm sure there have been other people to go, "Free Mumia? I wish I could FRY MUMIA~!" before I put this witty line in my profile.
• Yeah, that AIDS just creeps up on poor women and does its thing.
• So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fa
8:30 p.m.
• So I'm watching a bit of college football over the past year or so and figured why not make my own Top 25 list. Becaue there's no real champion because due to the fact 1-A Football doesn't have a playoff system, it makes the idiots who actually believe this is a good idea say, "THIS MAKES EVERY WEEK IN THE REGULAR SEASON LIKE A PLAYOFF GAME." With that in mind, here's my list:
kkk's Top 25
1) Ohio State
2) Kansas
3) Hawaii
4-25) Nobody, BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IS ELIMINATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON TOURNAMENT
Boy, what an exciting way to run a sport. And for those that wonder about my insight into college football, keep in mind I had no idea Notre Dame had a 40+ year winning streak against Navy until I heard about it yesterday.
• Good Christ, the NBC channels are doing some hippie "green" promotion this week with their programs to raise "awareness" about the environment. Thank God I don't watch that much television. Well, I do, but not in the NBC family.
8 p.m.
• So I finally got around to watching Apocalypto. Spoilerz
1) The chick in the hole squirts out a kid while the pit is being flooded?
2) Hooray for whitey.
3) So there's a solar eclipse right when Mr. Jaguar is about to get sliced AND the Europeans touch ground right when he runs out on the beach. Boy, magic really does happen in Hollywood.
8 p.m.
• So I was debating on whether to go into work today. I’m still not at the busy time of the month, but this is the busy time of year for me (well, this and March) and there’s a shitload of work I still need to do. Something was telling me last night that if I didn’t take advantage of this free day then it’ll come back to haunt me. I was right. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I got a note from the idiot boss saying he wants a Tuesday meeting to discuss a whole bunch of shit I don’t have the time to do. I swear to Christ when bosses see that you are completing your work on time or (gasp!) early, that doesn’t mean you are doing a good job. That just means you don’t have enough work to do. Oh well, just means more time I get to take off during the workweek. Woo-hoo.
• But is she hot?
Looks like she could get jail time with that mug. Here’s my favorite part.
“MAY mean”? The fuck. How about “does mean.” Whatever, it’s not like it’s all that hard to sneak back in anyway. Hold on a second.
Why were the police searching for him now -- how about searching for illegals once they sneak over the border?
7:45 p.m.
• I just got done entering in this week’s first wave of kkk Bowl V picks, so now I’m inspired after looking at everyone’s selections to get mine going.
Arizona @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
Oh hell I don’t know. Is Warner playing? Uh, I’ll go with Tampa. No, Arizona. No, Tampa. Yes, Tampa.
Carolina @ Tennessee (4.5)
Titans didn’t win big last week. I’ll take the spread. Time for Carolina to under-achieve.
(1.5) Cincinnati @ Buffalo
Lemme see, go with the scrappy Bills of the underachieving Bengals? I’ll go with the Bills because they play tougher and they’re at home. Of course, by “tougher” I mean “with less talent.” Then again, I have no idea who’s on each team, so I’ll just stop now.
Denver @ Detroit (3.5)
Yeah the Broncos lost last week, but this is the Lions. The Lions.
Green Bay @ Kansas City (2.5)
Oh hell no. The Chiefs are favored? I’m taking this in a heartbeat. This of course means the Chiefs quarterback (whoever he is) will throw for 400 yards.
Jacksonville @ New Orleans (3.5)
I heard the Jags quarterback is still out, so I’ll hope the Saints will eventually break down the Jacksonville defense.
(7.5) San Diego @ Minnesota
LT v. AP – then again, both play offense so unless there’s some special teams quirk they won’t face each other.
San Francisco @ Atlanta (3.5)
Is Alex Smith playing? Dunno. Shit, I don’t want Atlanta.
(3.5) Washington @ N.Y. Jets
Here’s hoping the Redskins do better against another AFC East team. Something tells me they will.
Seattle @ Cleveland (1.5)
I know they’re 4-3, but there’s something holding me back from taking the Browns seriously.
Houston @ Oakland (3.5)
Something tells me there are some injuries on the Texans roster for the Raiders to be favored. Oh well. Go subs.
(5.5) New England @ Indianapolis
Something tells me this game is going to bite me in the ass, but I’m getting a USC/Texas vibe. Besides, if Indy wins I’ll look like a genius.
(3.5) Dallas @ Philadelphia
WTF is up with Andy Reid’s kids? Buncha screw ups.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
Wow, that’s a big spread. I’m still having flashbacks to last season when the Ravens made the Steelers their bitch. Twice. I don’t think they’ll win, but wow, that’s a big spread. Steelers will score 27.
7:15 p.m.
• Notre Dame. LOL.
My brother didn't come home, but fuck it, I'm watching this anyway.
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The intro to the show is great, as were most of the intros that Vince did the voiceovers on. His announcments of each participant and the team name are great.
Gorilla Monsoon and Roddy Piper are on commentary, and Piper goes into a rant about how the Iraqis are going to pay. Remember, at the end, there's a match of Ultimate Survival. Of course, it involves all the Survivors.
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The first match on this show is The Warriors (WWF Champ, the Ultimate Warrior, Intercontinental Champ Kerry Von Erich, and the Legion of Doom, Animal, and Hawk) vs. The Perfect Team (Mr. Perfect, Demolition Ax, Demolition Smash, and Demolition Crush), who are accompanied by Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji. Warrior's wearing a white title belt, which matches his attire later. He didn't wear different color belts because the WWF was afraid "he'd lose them." He wore them to match his attire. The babyfaces cut a promo before the match, and what is it with Warrior and sacrifices? You'd think the guy was a cannibal or something. His expressions during the promo are awful. Awfully funny, harharhar. The first man listed in each runthrough of the participants on each team is the "team captain."
Blow-by-blow: The heels all enter to Mr. Perfect's music, while the faces enter to their own individual music. Where's the equality? Animal and Smash starts, and Animal rams Smash into Hawk. All the faces take their turn beating up Smash, and Smash takes control somehow. Smash prevents a backdrop by Animal, and suplexes him. Perfect comes in and chops Animal, then Smash comes in and gets powerslammed by Animal. Perfect gets beaten up by everyone now, and Tornado and Ax come in. Tornado applies THE CLAW, but Smash breaks the hold up. Warrior tags in and shoulderblocks Ax, then flying shoulderblocks Ax and big splashes him for the pin at 3:22.
The Warrior dumps everyone out of the ring as the heels go on the attack, but Crush comes back in quickly with a clothesline. Smash is in with a backbreaker, and then he tags Crush in, who gives Warrior a flying kneedrop off the top rope. It only gets a 2 count, and Crush misses a charge into the corner. Hawk comes in along with Perfect, and Perfect gets choked. Hawk whips Perfect into the corner but Perfect trips over his own feet and blows the spot, so they repeat on the other side, which leads to Hawk missing a charge and ramming his shoulder into the ringpost. Crush comes in and works Hawk over, with the notable part of his offense being a backbreaker. See, Crush always sucked. Hawk comes back with a shoulderblock and flying clothesline from the top rope, but Smash breaks up the cover. Now LOD and Demolition brawl, and both teams are disqualified at 7:36.
Tornado and Warrior are left against Perfect, and Perfect begs for Warrior to tag out. Warrior does, and Perfect gets discus punched by Tornado. Supposedly he has a powerful right hand, at least that's what I heard. I don't know why Vince gave this guy a chance, he's not special in the ring, he can't talk, and he's a walking pharmacy. But he looks good. Well, I just answered my own question, didn't I? Warrior rams the heads of Heenan and Perfect together outside the ring, then tosses Heenan into the crowd. No wonder Heenan doesn't like him. On the inside, Perfect gives Tornado a kneelift. Perfect thumbs Kerry in the eye, and rams him into the exposed turnbuckle, which leads to a Perfectplex that eliminates Tornado at 11:00.
Perfect then gives one to Warrior, but Warrior kicks out of it. A Perfect dropkick gets a 2 count, and a clothesline does the same. Piper's not very good on commentary, he mostly rambles, but he says that there's a "lot of heat" here. He tries to cover it up a few seconds later by saying that the temperature in the building has risen, but we all know now that he screwed up. He screws up and says things he shouldn't a LOT throughout the show. Warrior starts his comeback, we all know the drill. Clothesline, clothesline, clothesline with Perfect's 360 sell, a flying shouldertackle and a big splash that gets the pinfall at 14:20.
Survivor: The Ultimate Warrior.
Match Analysis: It goes without saying that these matches are quickly paced. They have to be, cause there's no excuse for restholds in an 8 man elimination tag. Still wasn't very good, though. *3/4.
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The next match is the Million Dollar Team (Ted DiBiase, Greg Valentine, Honky Tonk Man and a Mystery Partner) accompanied by Jimmy Hart and Virgil vs. The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, and the Tag Team champs, Bret Hart, and Jim Neidhart). Ted DiBiase introduces the mystery partner and it's.....THE UNDERTAKER. His music had no gong to open it up. Brother Love is his manager, and I don't really care for that. He should have went solo. He doesn't walk slow enough to the ring yet, either. Bret lost this brother Dean before this event, so Piper says that Bret wanted to dedicate the match to him. Heel promo is first, and then...
Blow-by-blow: Taker starts things off with Bret (heh), and Taker gives him a quick chokeslam as Bret is running. I don't think anyone really knew how to take that move yet. The Anvil comes in, but his shoulderblock doesn't do a thing to Taker. Taker slams him, and Koko comes in. Almost immediately, Koko gets TOMBSTONED at 1:43. Taker disposes of him like a child's diaper, meaning that he tosses him out of the ring.
Bret comes in along with DiBiase and after a DiBiase chop, Neidhart and Valentine tag in. Valentine gives the Anvil a high knee, then tags in Honky. Honky does nothing at all, and gets powerslammed by Neidhart for the pinfall at 4:22.
DiBiase comes in and is clotheslined by Neidhart, and finally, Dusty tags in. Elbows for DiBiase, and a dropkick(?). It didn't look too bad, surprisingly. He tags Neidhart in, and they both elbow DiBiase for a 2 count. A Neidhart suplex gets two, and then, Virgil trips him and Neidhart gets clotheslined by DiBiase at 5:55 for the pinfall.
Bret enters the ring with a few right hands, then Dusty comes in. Dusty does that 'juke and jive' punch thing, then Taker comes back in after a DiBiase clothesline. Taker gives Dusty a flying kick, and tags in Valentine. Bret tags in too, and as Taker's still in the ring after the tag, he chokes Bret. DiBiase comes in after a few Valentine kicks and is given an inverted atomic drop by Bret. DiBiase gives Bret a few elbows, and tags in Taker. Taker goes up to the top rope and gives Dusty a BIG double axehandle, leading to Dusty's elimination after the pin at 8:31.
It's 3 on 1 now, with Bret facing DiBiase, Valentine and Taker, as Brother Love's stomping A MUDHOLE, BAH GAWD in Dusty, on the outside. Dusty was dispatched in the same fashion as Koko, and I forgot to mention something. Dusty wasn't wearing polkadots, and he didn't look too pleased to even be involved with the event. Suck it up, bitch. Anyway, Dusty recovers from the beating and begins to put a whoop on Brother Love's ass, so Taker leaves the ring and brawls with Dusty to the back, being eliminated by countout, at 9:24. By brawl, I mean, he basically beat Dusty up.
Back inside, Valentine goes for the figure-four, but he gets rolled up and eliminated by Bret Hart at 10:00. That was quick.
The crowd's going batshit for Bret. Bret atomic drops DiBiase out of the ring, and planchas onto him. He punches DiBiase on the outside, and rams him into the ringpost. Back in the ring, he gives Ted some stiff European uppercuts. DiBiase rams Bret into the turnbuckle at about 100 mph, but it only gets 2. A Bret backslide gets 2, and on a whip, Bret trips over DiBiase. Bret plays possum, which makes me wrong about the WM 8 match being the first time.
I WAS WRONG.
There. I can admit it. He rolls DiBiase up for 2, and the entire crowd thought the match was over. They were into this sequence. Ted gets kneed on accident by Virgil, and Bret rolls him up again, but only gets 2. The fans bought it, again. Bret with a backbreaker and elbow from the 2nd rope for 2, but unfortunately, DiBiase reverses a crossbody for the 3 count at 13:59.
Survivor: The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.
Match Analysis: IMO, this probably was when the WWF realized they had something in Bret as a potential singles wrestler. Well, not when they realized, but when they saw that the fans were behind such an idea as well. Match is **1/4, but the Bret/DiBiase portion was awesome, as was the debut of Taker.
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There's a promo for "The Main Event," which took place on the night after Survivor Series, although it was taped about a month before. The hyped match was the Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase.
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The third match on this Thanksgiving Night was The Vipers (Jake "the Snake" Roberts, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) vs. The Visionaries (Rick "the Model" Martel, The Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma), who were accompanied by Arrogance and Slick. Jake's got the "I'm blind in one eye" thing goin', and the Rockers just kick ass. Snuka's on more juice than anyone else on this show, or so it would seem. The guy is huge. The babyfaces cut a promo in the shower area, cause remember, that's Jake's thing, to keep the snake cool. When Power and Glory walk to the ring, presumably because of the strange nature of the entranceway, they look like badasses. Watch it, and you'll see. I thought they were cool when I rented tapes as a kid. I'm ashamed of that one.
Blow-by-blow: Piper calls Warlord a "walrus." Guess he doesn't like him. Warlord and Marty start, and Marty uses his speed to outsmart the Warlord. Marty tries three dropkicks, but they don't do anything to the big man. Marty sunset flips Warlord but can't bring him over, so Shawn runs in and dropkicks Warlord, but unfortunately, the move only gets a two count. Shawn tags in and gets a hiptoss after a cool looking reversal, and he follows with a dropkick and monkey flip. Martel tags in, and so does Jake, but Martel bails out in a HURRY. Roma comes in, and Jake grabs onto an armbar. Snuka tags in, and Roma punches him. But islanders have hard heads, so it doesn't affect the SUPERFLY. As deteriorated as he was here, I love him. Hercules comes in and shoulderblocks Snuka, but Snuka comes back with that chop that his opponent runs into, and the crowd loves it. Warlord tags in and slams Snuka, but Snuka comes back with a dropkick. Marty comes in, and gets bearhugged. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep track of who's who in these matches, considering that guys have so many matching initials. Fact is, if I focused on typing, and typing alone while I was doing this, it'd only take me about 2 hours. Instead, it takes much longer. Like tonight, I was watching the Kings and Lakers game while typing this. Anyway, Marty mongolian chops the Warlord, but goes up for a crossbody and gets powerslammed by the Warlord for the 3 count at 5:18.
Shawn gives Warlord a frankensteiner (I feel like calling it that for now), and Jake tags in. A Jake clothesline does nothing, and a high knee does nothing. A second clothesline puts the Warlord down, and Shawn tags in and covers him for a 2 count. Warlord gets a huge backdrop on Shawn, and he tags in Hercules. Shawn does a 360 sell off a Herc clothesline, and Martel tags in. Martel gets a kneedrop and backbreaker which each get a two count, and Roma comes in. Roma whips Shawn into the buckle and Shawn goes upside down, and after that, Roma misses a charge into the corner. Snuka comes back in, and gets a flying forearm for a 2 count. Too bad for him though, he tries a crossbody and it gets reversed at 9:43 by Martel, as Martel was holding Snuka's tights. Sneaky little fellow.
Jake comes in and Martel runs away again, so Hercules comes in. Jake gets a kneelift, but he can't get the DDT. I don't know what it is, but Jake is off tonight. Well, I do know what it is, and so does everyone else. He was on a lot of shit. The Visionaries huddle up, and Martel clotheslines Jake from the ring apron, while Jake was unawares. Piper calls Martel a "cheap ass," and then immediately apologizes. Piper on live TV. Gotta love it. Roma slams Jake, but misses a fistdrop from the top rope. Shawn comes in with a back elbow and suplex, and an elbowdrop from the 2nd rope gets 2. It's decidedly uglier than the one he used later in his career. Shawn then gets an atomic drop and dropkick, until Hercules attacks him. Herc gets a press slam, and it's POWERPLEX TIME. Power and Glory hit that, and Shawn's gone at 15:18. In case you don't know, it's a Hercules superplex, and a Roma big splash. FWIW.
It's 4 on 1 now with Jake being the only good guy left, and he fights with Warlord. Well, Warlord gets a bearhug and after a while, Jake gets a DDT OUT OF NOWHERE on Warlord. The referee wasn't paying attention, so no count. Martel tries to spray Roberts with Arrogance, but he misses and Jake grabs Damien, his snake. He chases Martel to the back at 18:05, and Jake is counted out. HOWEVER, Rick Martel isn't counted out, because he wasn't the legal man. Therefore...
Survivors: Rick Martel, The Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma. That's the first time an entire team has survived, kids.
Match Analysis: Ran too long. Shawn can do no wrong though, he was excellent. The Warlord was in this match for WAY too long. *1/2.
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A promo for Royal Rumble 1991 pops onto the screen, as we lead into...The Natural Disasters (Earthquake, Haku, Barbarian and Dino Bravo) accompanied by Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan vs. The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, and Tugboat). Tugboat's music is terrible. The babyfaces cut a promo first, and Tugboat's been spending too much time around Hulk. Mainly because he says "brother" after every sentence.
Blow-by-blow: It looks like Hogan got a haircut the day of the match...anyhow, a Hogan chant picks up almost immediately. Duggan and Haku start, and after Haku misses a springboard crossbody, Duggan clotheslines him a whole bunch and yells, HOOOOOOOOOOO. Duggan gets an UGLY backelbow and clothesline, and Bravo tags in. Bravo gets an inverted atomic drop, and Haku and Bossman enter. Bossman quickly gets the Bossman Slam, and that eliminates Haku at 3:15.
Heenan gets rammed into the turnbuckle by Bossman, but Barbarian regains control. He gets a suplex and slam, but he misses an elbowdrop from the 2nd rope. Duggan comes in and gets a backdrop, then Earthquake comes in. Earthquake rams Duggan into the buckle, and Duggan can't slam him. Duggan does 2 shoulderblocks, but on the third attempt, Jimmy Hart pulls down the top rope so Duggan flies out of the ring. Duggan chases Hart with the 2x4, and hits Earthquake with it at 6:04, so he's disqualified. Duggan is poof, gone.
Hogan's in and body slams for all, the 10 punch in the corner starts, but Earthquake powerslams him out. Bravo tags in and gets an elbow drop, but surprisingly, he gets rolled up in a small package at 7:59. He's gone.
I just noticed that the "mystery egg" hasn't been discussed at all. Thankfully. Piper says that "Hogan should get the hell out of the ring." Bossman attempts a crossbody, but doesn't bring Earthquake to the canvas. Hogan pushes Bossman on top of Quake, but the cover only gets 2. Earthquake gets 2 elbowdrops on Bossman, and that's enough to get the pinfall at 9:08.
Hogan gives Quake a big boot, and I've noticed that Tugboat hasn't even been in the ring. Hogan can't slam Quake, and Quake falls on him for a 2 count. Ok, by this point, it's safe to say that they need to take the match home. Quake misses a big splash and finally, Tugboat comes in. Tugboat and Earthquake take their brawl to the outside, and they both get counted out at 11:32.
Hogan and Barbarian are left, and Barbarian lands the ugliest piledriver ever. Gorilla and Piper both acknowledge that Hogan's head was never close to the canvas and landed on Barbarian's legs instead. Hogan should never have sold that. Barbarian gets a big boot, and a top rope clothesline for 2. NOW COMES THE HULK-UP. Three punches, big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, and that's the end of the match at 14:49. Hogan grabs a fan's banner to celebrate, and he wipes his sweat on it before giving it back. What a guy. He poses for 3 minutes, and this part ends, and part two now begins.
Survivor: Hulk Hogan
Match Analysis: Junk. Shit. Crap. 1/2*. This match was everything I hate about wrestling.
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The MACHO KING RANDY SAVAGE has an interview with Gene Okerlund in which he basically foreshadows his retirement. He says if he wins the title, he'll retire. Forever. He calls the Ultimate Warrior the Ultimate Chicken/turkey/loser. Savage is dressed like the guy from Mary Poppins, so it's hard to take him seriously.
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The next match is The Alliance (Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Butch, and Luke) vs. The Mercenaries (Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Sato, and Tanaka), accompanied by Mr. Fuji and General Adnan. Slaughter cuts a promo before the match, says Okerlund needs to stand at attention, and wonders what American soldiers had in their K-Ration on Thanksgiving. Piper gets all worked up about it, and I laughed. All the Mercenaries are wearing camo face paint.
Blow-by-blow: Zhukov and Butch start, the Bushwhackers give Zhukov a double clothesline, and Tito tags in and gives Zhukov the flying forearm, and gets the pinfall at 0:48. Lol.
Tito kicks Sato, and Butch tags in. The Bushwhackers almost immediately give Sato the battering ram, eliminating Sato at 1:47.
Tanaka misses a big splash, and gets eliminated by the flying forearm of Santana at 2:10.
Volkoff comes in and gets elbowdropped by Slaughter four times, cause remember, Slaughter's the only Mercenary left. He rams Volkoff into the turnbuckle while Adnan screams at him in whatever language he uses, and Slaughter gets a dropkick. Oddly enough, while 3 elbowdrops can't finish Volkoff, only one does a bit later, and Volkoff's gone at 5:24.
Butch comes in and both the Bushwhackers slam Slaughter, after Luke tags in. A double clothesline gets two, and then Luke goes up, but eats knees on a splash attempt. Slaughter gives Luke a chestbreaker, and Luke's gone at 6:30.
Butch comes in and gets clotheslined by Slaughter at 6:54. Quick eliminations here...
Tito and Slaughter are left, and Tito gives Slaughter a dropkick. He can't monkey flip Slaughter though, so Slaughter gets a neckbreaker for 2. A Slaughter backbreaker gets 2, and Sarge follows it up with a suplex. Slaughter rams Tito into the ref, and Adnan comes in with the Iraqi flag. He rams it into the stomach of Santana after Tito's flying forearm on Slaughter, and then, Slaughter applies the camel clutch. The referee wakes up, though, and disqualifies Slaughter at 10:47 for use of the flag. The referee was down, but he was watching the action, see.
Survivor: Tito Santana
Match Analysis: 1/4*. At least it ended quickly.
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Sean Mooney is with the Visionaries and Ted DiBiase for their promo before the Ultimate Survival match, but first, we have to reveal what's inside the mystery egg. For some reason, DiBiase had blood in his mouth.
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Anyway, yeah, inside the mystery egg, it's the Gobbledygooker. The Gooker's one of the dumbest things ever to happen in wrestling, and the only thing that is definitely worse, IMO, was the WCW "shoot" angles in 2000. I wonder, though, was Gooker supposed to work matches? That would have been ridiculous. Whoever thought of this should have been shot. Or fired. The crowd shit all over it, though.
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The last match tonight, is the match OF ULTIMATE SURVIVAL. On one team, it's Tito Santana, the Ultimate Warrior, and Hulk Hogan. On the other team, it's Ted DiBiase, Rick Martel, the Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma w/Virgil and Slick. Warrior changed his attire and facepaint, and there aren't any team captains in this match. Hogan entered before the other two babyfaces. I don't think he was too happy about it, or so it looked. Warrior got NO pop.
Blow-by-blow: Almost immediately, a Santana flying forearm pins the Warlord. 0:28 was the time.
DiBiase comes in and gets a suplex. Tito gets a clothesline and backdrop but misses the flying forearm, and DiBiase hotshots him along the top rope for the pinfall at 1:51.
DiBiase gets a big boot on Hogan, then tags in Hercules. Herc rams Hogan's head into the buckle, and DiBiase comes back in with a few fistdrops. Tag Hercules, and Power and Glory go for the POWERPLEX, but it only gets a 2 count. Hogan gives Roma a lariat, and he's gone at 5:37. Seriously, that was a stiff clothesline. He treated Roma like a jobber...oh wait. He is one. LAWL.
Warrior finally tags in, and kicks Martel. Warrior with a backdrop and he goes to punch both heels that were standing in the corner. The ADRENALINE'S MOVIN' NOW, and Warrior slams Martel twice. He rams Martel's face into the mat, and tags in Hogan. Hogan clotheslines Martel over the top and out, but Martel's leaving. NOW THEY'LL HAVE TO IMPROVISE A NEW FINISH. Sorry, since I mentioned WCW 2000, I couldn't help it. Time of Martel being counted out was 7:17, btw.
DiBiase and Hercules are the only ones left of the heels, and Hogan slams DiBiase into the mat. Big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, pin at 8:37.
Hercules is the only one left, Warrior clotheslines him, clothesline, clothesline, flying shouldertackle, big splash and the pinfall at 9:07. Warrior and Hogan toss Slick out of the ring, and that's it.
The Ultimate Survivors: The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan.
A promo for the Royal Rumble wraps things up. All done.
Match Analysis: DUD. I'm glad they didn't do the Ultimate Survival thing again. The crowd couldn't have cared less.
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Rating: Poor. Good for nostalgia, but in reality, it wasn't any good. I hate how the WWF didn't even use the early versions of this show to further angles. Outside of the one exception, the double turn with Demolition and the Powers of Pain. There have been much better shows. If not for the nostalgia, it would have been awful.
Best Match: The Million Dollar Team vs. The Dream Team. That's not saying a whole lot.
Worst Match: The match of ULTIMATE SURVIVAL.
Loudest Sound: Bret Hart during his comeback, and Demolition. Ax's last appearance in the WWF was a quick one.
No sound: Everyone in the Alliance vs. Mercenaries match (except for Slaughter), and Warrior later in the show.
I must say, I love the finishes at the Survivor Series. Guys getting pinned by elbowdrops? I know it's tough to book these matches, but they could do something better, couldn't they?
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I don't know what I'm reviewing next, but it'll be up on Monday. Probably Prime Time Wrestling, cause I don't want it to disappear before I can write about it.
9:30 p.m.
• If this isn't a reason to call in sick Monday if you work in the big city, I don't know what is.
Actually, it's funny to watch pedestrians cross streets in cities because it's like a school of fish. Strength in numbers, and if someone gets picked off, there's a good chance it won't be you.
6:45 p.m.
• Now it's time to play "How long have you been posting at TSM?"
Quick. Your first thought.
6:30 p.m.
• This guy gets the boot but the Ninth Circus is still getting funded by taxpayers? If anything, the judge below should get a promotion. If the red diaper doper babies from the Ninth used a coin flip to determine rulings they probably would have a lesser overtuned rate.
The Bengals suck. Why they suck is not known by people outside of Cincinnati. Bengals owner Mike Brown's first priority is not winning. He doesn't particularly care if they win or not. He doesn't do what's necessary to field a winning team. All NFL teams are of course a business and they wish to make money, but at the same time they care about winning. Not Mike Brown. The Bengals are just as capable as any other team of acquiring high quality NFL talent. This isn't high school folks, this isn't a case of "well, their school is bigger than ours and they have better players than we do." The Bengals could have acquired the same difference makers that have helped the Colts, the Patriots, etc. to become winning teams. A typical NFL team will have 10 to 20 scouts. The Bengals have 1 person designated as a scout and 3 assistant scouts. Their marketing department has 18 management people and of course more beneath them.
A few years back, Mike Brown threatened the city with taking his team away from Cincinnati if they did not give him a stadium, i.e. have the people of Cincinnati pay for it. We should have told him fine by us and have a nice day. But people gave in, in part from efforts by a "citizen" who was all over the media citing the advantages of having an NFL team in the city. (There are advantages but of course the people also want a winner.) This guy, after the whole thing was over and the deal was done, was found to be on the Bengals payroll. Brown got his stadium and a whole lot more. He is guaranteed a sellout by the city. If people get pissed and stop showing up to the games, it matters not to Brown. He still gets 100% sellout money from the city. In addition, he doesn't pay utilities for the stadium. The city pays all utilities. Nice.
The Bengals bring nothing but ridicule and embarrassment to the city and it's all on Mike Brown. May the cancer fairy visit the bastard and rid us of him for good...oh wait, his daughter, Katie Blackburn, will take over the team when he croaks. This city is screwed.
I'm really amped for this set of matches. I've never seen Vader/Flair.
Again, in chronological order...
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From March 1st, 1976, it's "The Big Cat" Ernie Ladd vs. Bruno Sammartino, for the WWWF Championship. Of course, Bruno's the champ. On this same show, Ric Flair made his MSG debut.
Blow-by-blow: Ladd played at Grambling, and for the Chargers in the AFL, so it fits with the football theme 24/7 has goin' on. Ladd's gigantic. One of the biggest wrestlers I've ever seen. Bruno armdrags Ladd twice, but during the armbar that occurs after each armdrag, Ladd winds up in the ropes. Ladd grabs onto a bearhug and gets a few 2 counts as Bruno's down on the mat, while cheating by putting his feet on the ropes. The official sees the cheating each time, so Ladd breaks the hold, then hipblocks Bruno. Ladd chokes Bruno while shielding the actual choke from the ref, and once the official finally catches him, he hits Bruno in the throat 3 times. Bruno comes back and knocks Ladd over the top rope with a few punches, and Bruno chokes Ladd with his boot. Wait a sec. Isn't Ladd the heel? Strange to see a babyface resort to those tactics in that era... Bruno with a backdrop (Ladd looks funny doing the front flip over. His legs are HIGH in the air. Think Andre.), and Bruno rams Ladd's face into the mat. Ladd grabs a foreign object out of his trunks, and continually hits Bruno with it. Ladd football tackles Bruno twice, then gives him two legdrops. Ladd slams Bruno and heads up to the top rope. He misses a big splash, and gets pinned at 10:19. Apparently the match is clipped, because the announcer said 11:25. I don't believe it, though.
Match Analysis: The rating scale is different for matches that take place pre-1980. For me, anyway. Of course, most would say this match was a DUD. No. *3/4. The ending docks 1/4. Wrestling was different then, so my ratings should be too. The ending came out of nowhere, and I really didn't like it. Prior to that, it was solid.
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I'm not reviewing the Pillman match. Let me explain why.
1. I don't like Stampede Wrestling. The camera makes me nauseous. I don't know why. To some of you, that probably makes me a bad person.
2. It's a 6 man tag, in a promotion in which I don't know the participants. Automatic grounds for a non-review. Sorry. I might come back and do the review in the next week or two, but I doubt it.
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The next match is from Wrestlemania XI, and it's Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Yes, I'm saving Vader/Flair for last, and this is exactly how I watched them. Taylor brought a bunch of linebackers with him, and Bigelow brought the Million Dollar Corporation. Pat Patterson's the special referee, and Jim Ross enlightens us with the fact that Patterson trained LT. No, not on the actual match broadcast. He would've been taken out back and shot had he said that. I'm one to assume that the reason Patterson is the ref IS because he trained LT. That's why there are special referees in a lot of these celebrity matches, see. That's a guess.
Blow-by-blow: Bam Bam shoves LT, and LT slaps him. LT gives a flying fist to the face of Bam Bam, and he clotheslines Bam Bam over the top rope. Bam Bam misses a charge, and LT gets a bulldog for 2. You know they've shown too many highlight clips of this match when I can remember every spot and I've only seen the match once before this. And I mean, I can remember every spot, exactly as it takes place. Ring position and all. Bam Bam comes back in, and gets hiptossed right back out. The linebackers and the Corporation mix things up, although they don't fight, and Bam Bam takes control. Bam Bam headbutts LT and bodyslams him, then LT gets raked in the eyes. LT is really good at acting like it's a real match. It's sorta business exposing, but he fights with Bigelow for every single move. Even on punches. Bam Bam goes for a Boston crab and gets it, but his weight makes it so that he has to go to a half crab. He can't stay in a squat position for a long period of time, obviously. Bam Bam pulls LT away from the ropes, and applies a variation of the indian deathlock. LT makes the ropes and Bam Bam applies a headlock, but LT back suplexes him out of it. That's an awfully dangerous move for someone with little-to-no wrestling experience to be trying. Bam Bam headbutts Taylor twice, then gives him a legdrop and his (strange looking) moonsault for a one count, only a one count because Bam Bam sold the knee and couldn't cover LT. LT with a gutwrench suplex that looked blown, like he was going to powerbomb or piledrive Bam Bam. Bam Bam with an enziguri and a headbutt, and he goes up top for a DIVING headbutt that gets a 2 count. LT with some shoulder charges in the buckle, then he goes up to the 2nd rope and hits Bigelow with a flying punch for the 3 count at 11:43. DiBiase's embarassed, cause Bigelow got beat by a football player.
Match Analysis: I don't know why Bigelow agreed to do the job. Personally, I would have had it written into my contract that I'd have a run as champion, honestly. If such a thing could occur, but Vince would probably have changed the name of the title. Bigelow should be embarassed, and the WWF should have been too. The pop for LT's win was embarassing. Non-existant, at that. **.
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From Nitro, on the night of July 6th, 1998, we have one of the dumbest business decisions in the history of this country...yes, I said this country, not just the wrestling business; it's Goldberg vs the champ, HOLLYWOOD HOGAN BROTHER, for the WCW Heavyweight Championship. Goldberg beat Scott Hall earlier in the night, so he's "107-0." Apparently JR officiated one of Goldberg's high school football games. That's neat.
Blow-by-blow: So, during Hogan's entrance, he says "he's going to kick GOLDBERG'S......(long pause) BUTT." Watch the clip, and you'll laugh. Hogan also looks like he's wearing a sock on his head. Goldberg starts off with a headlock and shoulderblock, then Hogan grabs onto Goldberg with a front facelock. The TEST OF STRENGTH follows, and Goldberg wins. Hogan gets to the ropes and begins to SCRATCH THE BACK of Goldberg, then he breaks out his weightlifting belt and hits Goldberg with it twice. Goldberg steals the belt, then throws it out of the ring. Goldberg doesn't need that shit. Goldberg applies a full nelson, but Hogan lifts his leg back in order to kick Goldberg in the nuts. Hogan with a clothesline and chokehold, then a scoop slam. He misses an elbowdrop, and gets clotheslined. Hogan bails, and puts his belt back on. Hogan comes back in and dumps Goldberg to the floor, then tosses him into the guardrail. Hogan hits him with a chair three times (this is the kinda shit WCW did that makes no sense. They let this go at random, then disqualify someone for the same thing 20 minutes later.), and on the inside, Hogan slams Goldberg and DROPS THE FUCKING LEG twice. For some reason that again, makes no sense, Curt Hennig's on his way to the ring, when Hogan seemingly has the match in hand. Why? Anyway, Karl Malone and DDP follow, and Malone gives Hennig a good looking DIAMOND CUTTER at ringside. Goldberg kicks out of the cover by Hogan, SPEARS HIM, and looks mean for a little bit. Then, Goldberg JACKHAMMERS him for the pin at 8:12. The commentary in this match was really, REALLY good.
Match Analysis: Let's get the rating out of the way. *. Dumbest thing ever. Ever. Even more dumb is that these two NEVER headlined a PPV against one another. The most surprising thing...Hogan never got his job back, and he did this one CLEAN. If I'm wrong about him not getting his job back, correct me. I'm pretty sure that I'm right, though. When this Nitro gets posted, I'll ramble about this for a long time. Not now.
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The last match I watched yesterday was from Starrcade '93, and it was Ric Flair vs. Big Van Vader, the WCW World Champion. Not the WCW International World Champion. I can't explain, because I have to keep people interested for when entire shows are posted, and not individual matches. That way, I'll be able to save my thoughts about the whole thing, and summarize it. It's a title match, and that DOES need to be noted, cause this was WCW. You never know unless you're told, and even then, you still don't know. Harley Race comes along with Vader, btw. If Flair does not win this match, he must retire.
A little note before the match, the commentary is awesome. AWESOME. Jesse Ventura's commentary is included, so that's a plus. WCW in 1992 and 1993 is also great. Pre-WWF 2000, find me a better workrate period in this country. Can you? I don't care what the haters say.
Blow-by-blow: Vader poses before the match, and the Flair chants start early. They lock-up twice, and each time, Vader tosses Flair across the ring. Flair bails and Vader chases, but that's what Flair wants. So Vader quits running, and calmly enters the ring. Vader headbutts him, and applies a knucklelock. Vader then slaps Flair and clotheslines him, and says, "FLAIR AIN'T MAN ENOUGH FOR THIS." I love Vader's running commentary of his own matches (all quotes from him will be capitalized, along with the usual stuff). There isn't enough of that going on in wrestling today. The fans are dead-ass quiet during Vader's offense. Not because he isn't over. But because they're scared shitless of him. Flair chops Vader, and Vader pushes him out of the way. Flair tries to run away, but Vader catches him and press slams him into the guardrail. The ring seems sorta large for WCW, I have to say. "WHO'S DA MAN," but Flair comes back and runs Vader into the ringpost on the outside. Harley Race gives Flair a big left hand, and Vader standing suplexes Flair into the ring, and then as Flair tries to bail, he does it again. Standing suplexes are when the suplex'er' doesn't go down to the canvas. Vader headbutts Flair, then beats him up with left and right hands. Vader whips Flair into the buckle and we have a Flair Flip, as he tumbles to the concrete floor after nearly colliding with a cameraman. Vader with a stiff LARIAT (yeah, "lariat" when it's stiff, clothesline when its not. duh), but Flair begins to chop him. Vader sells nothing, with a grin on his face. Gotta love him. Vader gives Flair a rough looking fall-down slam, and a clothesline from the 2nd rope. Vader then taunts the crowd, but I can't tell exactly what he said. He takes Flair down, then goes up to the 2nd rope and misses a big splash. Flair gives Vader three overhand flying chops, the 2nd of which didn't even touch Vader. At least he didn't sell it. The third one puts Vader down, and then Flair gives Vader a kneedrop. I'm loving this match. Vader comes back with a clothesline and superplex, after which, he screams, "WHO'S DA MAN." Flair's mouth is bloody, and I don't believe it to be of the blood capsule variety given the nature of Vader's work, so there. Vader misses a splash, unfortunately for Flair, he tries to run into Vader and Vader trucks him. Ouch. Harley stomps on the face of Flair outside the ring, then steps on Flair's throat. See, Harley and Flair had a cage match at Starrcade 1983, which was the first Starrcade. That was 10 years before this, and Flair took the title from Harley for the last time. Meaning that Race never got it back, obviously. So, the random attacks make sense. For a lot of reasons, that among them. Just a small part of a great story being told. In the ring, Vader misses an avalanche after a few chops from Flair. Flair chops him more, but this time, he gets avalanched. Harley tells Flair that "he should quit," and Vader grabs onto that knucklelock again. Flair puts Vader down again with left hands, right hands and some chops, and somewhere in this sequence, Vader's mask comes off. It looks like Vader's having that problem with his eye again. It's not coming out like during that Hansen match, but it's really swollen. After a bit, he starts bleeding from above the eye, probably because Flair potatoed him. Well, Vader did it to Flair, so...Flair rams Vader's left leg into the ringpost, and grabs a chair. Harley's distracting the ref because he has a look on this face that leads the referee to believe Harley's going to punch Flair, and Flair hits Vader with the chair on Vader's left leg, and then onto the head. Back inside, Flair bites Vader, jumps on Vader's left leg, and attempts to apply the FIGURE-FOUR. Vader kicks Flair away from him, though, and tries to go up for the VADER BOMB. Unfortunately for him, he misses. Flair locks on the FIGURE-FOUR, and Harley jumps onto the ring apron. See, kids, this is what a manager is supposed to be. He doesn't steal the heat, he makes people hate VADER more. Not so much himself. Vader reaches the ropes and gives Flair a big boot and elbow to the gut, as he goes up for the MOONSAULT. Holy freaking fuck, he misses and Flair tries to cover him, so Harley goes up top and misses a diving headbutt. OLD MEN ARE FLYING!!!! The referee shoves Race out of the ring, and the crowd goes nuts. Anyway, Flair gets a flying forearm and Vader trucks Flair again, but this time, Vader comes up a little woozy, presumably from Race's headbutt, trips over Flair, and gets rolled up by Flair for what is announced as #11, at 21:09.
He still held the belt when the NWA left WCW, but the NWA stripped him. That's how he lost world titleholder status during that time.. Counting WWF Titles, this was number 14. By my count, others vary. Here are his title wins up to that point, over Dusty, Race, Race again, Kerry, Dusty, Garvin, Steamboat, Sting, WCW proclaimed him champ (+1), Fujinami, Royal Rumble, Savage, Windham, Vader. That's just my opinion. Others definitely vary. His loss to the Midnight Rider in Florida really doesn't count. Anyway...
Match Analysis: Perfect ending to a great match. It wouldn't have made sense to have Vader quit, so that finish is out. Flair can't retire, so that's out. Harley can't directly cost Vader the match, but he has to play a part, given the history he has with Flair. Vader can't get pinned on anything that doesn't look flukish, given his monster heel status. So, Flair trips him and pins him. Simple, right? Of course it is. ****1/2. Hard to give it full marks because it started sorta slow, but it REALLY picked up. Everything after the first, "WHO'S DA MAN" routine was GOLD. Schiavone's over dramatic commentary is too much. "HE PICKED HIM UP" or "HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN" are staples of my childhood. It doesn't disappoint here. Tony sounds like he's truly afraid that Flair's going to die in there. For all those that say Flair always does the same match, have them watch this. And when it's over, tell them kindly..."no."
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Rating will come when I review the next 5 matches that'll be posted in 2 weeks. The quality is abundant in this month's selection. IF my brother's here today, Survivor Series '90 will be next. If not, the NWA show will be. I can watch that with my mentally challenged cousin and he'll mark out for the duration.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 5: Cancer Marney
When you think about it, there are some scary-ass things in life. For example, remember the construction zone you drive through every day on the way to work/school? You know, the one with all the big machines that can crush your vehicle in an instant? There’s a good chance the guy operating that crane is the drunk cousin of a crew foreman. When you need an operation, how would you feel knowing that your surgeon was the one who cheated on his tests in order to pass them? And let’s not even talk about where the meat portion of your dinner came from and who helped put that dead flesh on your plate.
However, not everything in this world is negative. There are good people out there. Remember when those towel heads flew two airplanes into the World Trade Center? Well you probably don’t because there’s enough sheeple out there ready to elect Hitlery, but I digress. Remember when those towers were ready to crumble and New York’s finest were running into the burning buildings to rescue as many people as they could? There are people out there going after the bad guys, and this poster is one such freedom fighter. And who is Ms. Marney going after -- Arabs? Russians? Chinamen? The French? I don’t exactly know. From what I’ve read over the years, this person reads a bunch of government reports or something. But that’s not why she’s on this list. She’s on this list because she’s an evil
bitch.
And that’s why she’s my goddess, not to mention protector -- if not from Abdul flying in coach with that fuse hanging out from his shoe, then from posters from across the pond.
8 p.m.
• So that trick-or-treat thing went on last night and we had the biggest turnout EVER~! Or at least for us. Mrs. kkk got through all 27 of her gi-normous candy bags (she puts like 10 pounds of shit in these tiny candy bags – it’s quite impressive, actually), finished off the “emergency stash” and she even had to give away a 100 calorie Nutter Butter bar because we had one brat late. Bitch, those Nutter Butters are hella good.
It’s amusing to be at the kkk house on Halloween. Our “official” trick-or-treat time is from 6-8 p.m. First the better half bitches when we don’t get anyone from 6-6:10. She also looks out the front window the whole time looking for people dressed as Spiderman and monsters. Then when we finally get a group of kids she gives them their candy and kicks them out. No, “awww, look, you’re a ladybug” small talk. Just “Get yo’ mothafuckin’ food, leave it in the car, n*gga get out.” (Three points for anyone that catches that reference without the help of Google.) It’s hilarious to watch this obsession, and when I made a comment about her lack of small talk she started bitching about how kids just want to go house to house and get candy. I agree, but the smaller kids like being gushed over while dressed up as Batman. Damn, I’m speaking for the children. Subject change. Now.
During this time we had Bravo’s 100 SCARIEST MOVIE MOMENTS. Good God was this retarded. But we kept it on because there was nothing else Halloweeny on except for the Michael Myers-fest on AMC. Then, after these 100 SCARY MOMENTS there were 30 EXTRA ONES that I DVR’d so I could goof on them today. Army of Darkness was included in this one. ARMY OF DARKNESS? Look, I have this movie. I like this movie. BUT IT’S NOT SCARY! You don’t watch this film to be scared. You watch this film for stuff like “I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.”
Yeah, I don't know what to call this. Hence the shitty title.
FINALLY, NEW CONTENT!
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Just a synopsis of the 40-or so minute piece they posted...
Highlights from Piper's Pit.
Roddy Piper v. Jack Brisco for the Mid-Atlantic Title. Piper wins after hitting Brisco with a roll of pennies. Piper wanted 10,000 dollars to face Brisco in the first place, and Wahoo McDaniel and Ricky Steamboat each had to put up 2,000 dollars in order for it to be paid. David Crockett looks strange without graying hair and a beard. Very strange.
Now, the Frank Williams Piper's Pit. I think everyone's seen it a million times.
Then, the Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan and Mr. T match from Wrestlemania I is shown in its entirety, but I'm not reviewing it. When they post WM I or post this in the shorties section, I'll review it. But not now, because I don't particularly review things in the HOF or DVD documentaries they show. I either summarize, or give my opinions of what's on screen. And I like Piper a LOT, I don't need to bore everyone with that. The ring's real bouncy, which is odd for WWF action. I'm not used to that when watching the WWF.
His Hall of Fame induction finishes, and now, to the matches that have been posted.
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In chronological order...
First, we have Roddy Piper vs. Jake Roberts from Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, and the match aired on 6/23/1982. Bob Caudle and Ricky Steamboat are on commentary. Not that I can't believe it, because I can, but it's so ODD to see these two facing off on a syndicated program in the 80's. Unreal.
Blow-by-blow: Roddy's wearing plaid, and it looks like Jake borrowed from Piper's future wardrobe. Meaning that Jake's wearing blue, like Piper did later on in his career. Jake starts off with an armdrag, and both guys trade hipblocks. Piper with some HARD chops to the chest of Jake, and he applies a front facelock. Both men trade chops before Piper rakes Jake in the eyes, and Jake comes to his feet with blood on his face. Piper with a back suplex, and somehow Jake's knee winds up on top of Piper for a 2 count. Jake with a sunset flip for 2, and Piper gets a kneelift for two. Piper reverses a Jake bodyslam attempt so Piper can apply the sleeper hold, but Jake makes it to the ropes. Piper misses a kneedrop and Jake gets a backdrop. Jake gets a kneelift of his own for two, and as Jake goes to run the ropes, Sgt. SLAUGHTER trips Jake up, so Jake wins by DQ at 6:54. Piper hits Jake from behind, and Steamboat comes in to stop the attack. Of course, Piper leaves.
Match Analysis: Bizarre. I bet that if you asked someone in 1982 which one of the guys involved in this match would be the WWF Champion later on down the line, not many would say that Sgt. Slaughter would be the guy. Strange to see a match from that era without someone involved being dead. Speaking of that, none of these three matches have a dead person as one of the participants. Not something one would expect to see, now. *3/4.
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The next match took place on 7/13/1985 at Madison Square Garden, and it's Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff.
Blow-by-blow: Orndorff and Piper trade right hands as the bell rings, and both men go out to the floor. Orndorff rams Piper into the guardrail, and on the inside, leaps off the top rope with a standing elbow to the head of Piper. Piper slaps Orndorff as Orndorff has him in an armwringer, and Piper gains control by ramming Orndorff's head into the turnbuckle. Orndorff locks the arm of Piper around Orndorff's leg and wrenches it, but Piper gets a high knee and clothesline. Unfortunately, the camera gives us a not-so-nice look at Orndorff's ass, to the point where his ass takes up the whole screen. Couldn't the production truck move off that? Anyway, an Orndorff backslide gets two, and after the count, Piper dumps him to the outside. Piper rams Orndorff into the post, and brings him back in. He gives Orndorff a front facelock and then a headlock takeover, but Orndorff bridges out into a backslide. No count though, Piper's feet are in the ropes. They trade blows, and Orndorff crossbody's Piper out to the floor. I know Piper likes that spot a lot, I've seen him do it before. In the next match, for one. Orndorff rams Piper's head into the apron, then drapes him along the top rope as he slams Piper's head into the mat while pulling him back in. Piper sells it hilariously, as his body goes into shakes and tremors. Bob Orton hits the ring, and pushes Orndorff off the top rope. For some reason, the ref doesn't disqualify Piper. Orton hits Orndorff with the cast, and now the bell rings at 8:44. Orndorff is busted open, and Orton and Piper give him a double suplex. The BRITISH BULLDOGS (yeah, that was a WTF moment. I didn't expect THEM to hit the ring.) come out to save Orndorff, and eventually they get the better of Orton and Piper to the point where the two heels are forced to leave. Orndorff wins, but he doesn't look satisfied.
Match Analysis: Good for Piper in the WWF. His matches in the WWF, for the most part, aren't that entertaining. That's not why I like him to begin with, though. **.
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The last match posted in this update is for the Intercontinental Championship. It's the challenger, Bret Hart vs. the champion, Rowdy Roddy Piper. From Wrestlemania VIII, of course. Heenan's commentary is great. On a re-review of a particular match, when they post it again, so to say, I'll cover the commentary much more. So, yeah, the review of this show will be different for this particular match.
Blow-by-blow: Thankfully, they show the pre-match promo. I'll review that when the whole event is posted. Bret's in his all pink attire, and I don't know who the referee is. Both men trade armdrags before Piper takes Bret down to the canvas. Piper has his arms locked around Bret, and Bret runs and ducks down so that Piper goes out under the top rope. Clever. Piper spits at Bret to establish that he'll be playing the heel tonight, then we have a test of strength. Piper chops Bret after they exchange armwringers, and he rams Bret into the turnbuckle. Piper chops him more, and Bret gets a running dropkick. Bret plays possum on the canvas, holding his shoulder, then rolls Piper up for a 2 count. I think that's the first time he did that in the WWF, I'm not sure though. Piper slaps him, and now IT'S ON. Bret crossbody's Piper to the floor (see what I said about Piper liking that spot) even though it took a while for both men to get to the floor, and Piper holds the ring ropes open so that Bret can come back in. What a guy. Piper makes the referee check Bret for weapons, and Piper slugs Bret in the face with his left hand as Bret's head is down, so obviously, Bret couldn't see him. Wink, wink. Bret blades off the punch (blading was a no-no at the time) and Piper rams his head into the buckle. Piper with a bulldog that gets two and a dropkick for 2, but Bret comes back with a sunset flip for 2. Piper with some lefts and rights for 2, then a Bret flying forearm puts Piper out of the ring. Piper comes back in and both men clothesline each other. Piper goes up to the top as Bret is playing possum AGAIN, and he drapes Piper's feet on the ropes, then rams his face into the canvas. Here comes the usual, Bret with a inverted atomic drop, suplex, russian leg sweep and backbreaker, but Piper blocks the SHARPSHOOTER. Bret goes up to the 2nd rope for his elbowdrop, but he eats Piper's boot on the way down. The two combatants trade punches from their knees (I was going to say "trade blows from their knees," but for some reason, I didn't. Hopefully you can make sense of it.) and Piper rams Bret into the referee. Piper clotheslines Bret out, then rams him into the steel steps. Piper grabs the ringbell, but thinks better of using it. Cause he's a good guy at heart, 'ya know? He tosses the bell out and puts Bret in a sleeper hold, but Bret kicks the turnbuckle pad in the corner, and the momentum puts Bret on top of Piper for the 3 count, and the win, at 13:50. I can't describe the finish any better than that, sorry. It was like Bret-Austin at Survivor Series 1996.
Match Analysis: I won't say too much, but this match is WAY underrated. I don't see what keeps this from being a great match, considering that most people don't put it in that category. It told a great story, and moreover, helped launch Bret on his push that culminated in him winning the WWF title later in the year. Would it have been the same had Bret beaten the Mountie (or insert mid-card heel here) at WM 8 to get the title back? No, of course it wouldn't have. ****1/4. One of my favorite matches.
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Same as the Undertaker DVD. When the rest is posted later this month, a full rating will follow. I'll say this much though, what they've posted is definitely watchable. I didn't particularly enjoy the Wild Samoans stuff from last month.
Halloween has come and gone again. Yea, I guess. I haven't been excited about Halloween for at least 15 years. sfaJill, however, is a BIG Halloween fan and really enjoys putting on a costume and greeting all the little monsters that knock on the door. Consequently, I spent half this last weekend helping decorate the front porch in a spider theme (i.e. cobweb, black lights, some glow-in-the-dark wall covering, etc) and standing in the candy section at Wal-Mart waiting for her to decide which is the best kind of candy to buy (my argument: who gives a shit? It's free; if the kids want to bitch about free candy, they don't have to come back next year).
Last night, sfaJill handled 95% of the trick-or-treat duty, meaning I bothered to get up out of my chair only two or three times when there was a knock at the door. Of course, after having a few kids walk right past our house without stopping, sfaJill was convinced that they didn't know we were offering candy (because, according to her, the house wasn't all lit up like a Christmas tree so it didn't look inviting and/or because there was nobody sitting outside waiting with a big dish of candy like many of the neighbors were) and decided to setup a camp on the front porch so that nobody would miss our house.
Since I had no interest in sitting outside getting bit by bugs, I retreated to my office in the house and popped in Freddy vs. Jason (yeah, I know it's a crappy movie, but I just chose a slasher at random) and waited for the end of the night. It was nearly 9:00 before she declared the night to be over and came in. I'm told Spiderman was the most popular boys' costume and Disney princesses were the most popular for girls. Sounds about right, but I'm disappointed nobody decked their kid out in this.
It's weird; every year I always hear a few folks lamenting how trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I don't buy it. After a slow start, there were so many kids running through our neighborhood that it looked like a locust plague. I don't know. Maybe our neighborhood is the exception to the rule.
If the WrestleFanFest weekend wasn't long enough, this past weekend certainly was. I ended up having a total of four shows over pre-Halloween weekend, two Rocky Horrors and two wrestling shows...but I'll skip the Rocky Horror shows because I know you guys read my blog for Pro Wrestling, not for my adventures in Rocky Horror land.
On Saturday CCW was running a show at their brand new studio. Well ok, it wasn't brand new as they ran there last month but it was at least new...right? I was impressed with how the studio looked this time around, last month, the studio was very small and packed and hot, but since the last CCW show in Sept. the powers of CCW made some changes to the building. In sept, the locker room was this small room that we all packed into to get changed. Well a wall got removed, the room got painted black and what was once the locker room was now set up so crowd members had a better place to sit, thus giving them more room. The locker room got moved though, to out back. A hole was cut into a wall and a door got added, thus giving us access to the building from the back. It will be intresting to see how the new locker room works out as Newman is really windy and the rainy season is starting to show itself, hopefully everything works out.
The CCW show was another good show. Since CCW runs in Newman, they normally draw a good crowd. Newman, is a small town off Highway 5, so there is pretty much NOTHING to do down in Newman and if you do wanna go out to something, it's most likely happening miles away from Newman, so normally a big/loud crowd pops up and last Saturday was nothing differant. The crowd seemed to like how the building was re-done as they had a lot more room to sit and weren't packed in like a can of sardines.
I Ref'ed two matches that night, the first match was Virgil & El Chupacabra vs The Buissness man Jesus Cruz & R-Cayde. Jesus Cruz is normally known as the brownsnake but apprently he changed his ways and isn't a thug anymore, he's now a buisness man. He came to a ring with rolling luggage and started selling stuff out of it. He had some pretty good stuff on him to, dvds, cds, horrible smelling colone. I always love Ref'ing Virgil's and Chupi matches as their just fun to work with.
Something about me and Virgil just click. I don't know what it is, but when we are in the same match, for some reason it just seems me and him are always on the same page and act like we're on the same team. It's a weird thing as he's the wrestler and I'm the Ref and the only thing me and him have worked as a team on was holding onto The Dead Fed title. The Dead Fed title is a title that was invented after the Scum took the belt away from a promotion that....umm wasn't playing correctly with others. That promotion is now dead and gone, thus The Dead Fed Title was born along with a game, where ANYONE in the buisness could play. The way you played the game was to just steal the title from the person holding it at the time.Myself and Virgil decided to join up and co-hold the Dead Fed title. Our pairing worked out pretty well as it took awhile for the boys to figure it out.
I remember one night at BRAWL, Rik Luxury grabbed the Dead Fed title and ended up trying to hide it in his bag...unfortunaily he had no clue that I was watching him and let Virgil know what Rik had tried to hide the title, but when I told Virgil this, Kenny K was standing next to him and was listening in, so Kenny K joined our group as he snatched the title from Rik's bag. Well a few minutes later, Kenny had let myself and Virgil down as Dj Rizz stole the title off Kenny. So now the Commandos had the belt. Well for the main event that night, two of the three commandos were in the main event, D-Unit who wasn't in the match, sat at ringside. Rizz before getting involved in the match, gave the Dead Fed title to D-Unit to hold onto. Well after the match, D-Unit got into the ring to comfront I think Pogo and tossed me the Dead Fed title to hold onto. I was at the music table running music for that match, I quickly ran the title back to the back and found Virgil. Rizz for some reason was chasing Virgil, I think he figured Virgil had the title. I yelled "Virgil!", Rizz noticed I had the belt and started charging at me like I was a quarterback and he was a lineman......a very skinny lineman, as Rizz was running at me I tossed the title to Virgil and ran back to the soundtable to finish what I had to do. Virgil ended up leaving with the title that night and it was safe in our group. Ok back to my other story telling, enough of the Dead Fed title game. Oh and before I forget, the game ended a few months ago.
Now the reason why I like Ref'ing Chupi matches is because he tries so hard to make me laugh. Before the bell rings, while me and him are in the ring, he keeps kinda charging after the guy he's wrestling and I have to back him up, well when I'm backing him up he keeps talking to me telling me why he hates him and for some reason I almost start laughing everytime. He does it on purpose and it's sorta devloped to a game for him. It's fun but sometimes I really hate him for doing it. Anyways back to CCW.
So the Chupi & Virgil vs The Buissness man Jesus Cruz & R-cayde goes really well and the crowd really enjoyed it. The match ended with R-Cayde walking out on Jesus Cruz as he got frustrated with Jesus because Jesus kept jumping down from his corner to try and sell his wares. Well after R-Cayde finally got a tag to Jesus, R-Cayde left and Chupi and Virgil took advantage. Chupi hit Jesus Cruz with a back to back backbreaker and held Jesus Cruz bent backwards on Chupi's back, Virgil got into the ring, stood on top of Jesus Cruz, jumped up and hit Jesus with a Cannonball. Chupi made the pin and got the pinfall.
The 2nd match was the main event, which was Adam Thornstowe vs CCW champion Vinnie Massaro. The match went really good but not so much for me. At one point during the match, Adam went for a superkick on Vinnie while Vinnie was facing me, Vinnie had gone to hit Adam with a elbow but Adam ended up ducking and Vinnie almost nailed me with the failed elbow because I was behind Adam but Vinnie was able to stop himself before nailing me. So while Vinnie was facing m and his back toward Adam, Thornstowe went to nail a superkick from behind but Vinnie ducked and Adam nailed me with it instead....and that didn't feel to good. I was out.....but what's new. Apprently while I was out, Massaro nailed Adam with the CCW title, but since I was out, I didn't see it, had no idea it happen and when I was waken up a bit, Vinnie was making the cover on Adam and got the win.
After I rang the bell, the rest of Buddy Sotello's synicate came out (Badapples, Rik Luxury who replaced Ryan Drago) and started attacking Thornstowe, I was still recovering. Big Ugly, and Scum members Luster the Legend and Shane Dynasty ran out from the back to get the Synicate off of Adam. When I started standing up, Adam got in my face about the belt shot but I told him I didn't see any belt shot as he nailed me with the Superkick, after telling Adam what happen I tried to leave the ring, but apprently Big Ugly wasn't to happy and the next thing I knew I was in a half nelson being held by Ugly.......yeah, not good. Luckily Ugly let me go and I left the ring really quickly.
So other than the superkick from Thornstowe, CCW was good and fun, but it doesn't seem I won't be doing a CCW show for a few months. The next show is on November 17th, which is my birthday and I decided to take all wrestling related stuff on my birthday so I could just relax. Then the next CCW show is on December 15th, but Devil Mountain Wrestling is also running on that date, and Devil Mountain is my home, so that's where I'll be. After CCW was over, I made that long drive to Oakland to do Rocky Horror where my Saturday night ended after Rocky.
Sunday was SPW in Sacramento. This was my 2nd time working SPW and it was a historic/great night. It was a historic for a few reasons, one reason was because Rik Luxury and Adam Thornstowe had a 60 minute hardcore ironman match that I will talk about in a few minutes but the other reason is because The Gangstas re-united. Yes New Jack and Mustafa put all their past issues in the bag and re-united at SPW and they spent the show taking pictures and signing autographs for the fans.
That night I ref'ed two matches. The first match was all 3 Surburban Commandos vs Ryan Drago, Wage, and Luster The Legend, the match went well with the Commando's winning after D-unit rolled up Wage in a school boy while Wage was yelling at Luster for not really getting involved in the match. After the match, Wage attacked Luster before leaving the ring.
The 2nd match was a 4 way tornado elimation match which was The Big Ugly vs Chupacabra vs Virgil vs Dante. This match was great to Ref, as it was just all over the place and the fans loved it. Virgil and Chupi were the first two elimated then Ugly hit a vicious clothesline on Dante and then getting the pinfall victory over Dante.
Now it was time for the main event, for the SPW title, in the 7th match of a best of 7 series, it was Rik Luxury vs SPW Champion Adam Thornstowe in a 60 minute Hardcore Ironman match and honestly this match was un fucking believeable. This is a match you have to see, and as soon as it get's online, I will post it in a thread on the messageboards. You have to see this match. I'm not going to go into full details about it because I really really want people to see this match once it comes online, but here's a few things that happen. Rik drops a elbow off a basketball hoop, Adam doublestomps a flowerpot that has Rik's head in it, barbwire is involved, Adam jumps from the top of the enterance, many things happen but you have to see it to believe how good this match is. I sware if this match gets put online, it will be posted.
The weekend full of shows went really well, but man I spent a lot on gas. I did a lot of driving that weekend and that was kind of the downpoint. I have another wrestling show on the 3rd as Devil Mountain Wrestling is running, then I think I'm taking a break from so many wrestling shows for November. I'm not like burnt out or anything, but I really need to save some money and driving so much, isn't going to help me save any money as my car really isn't a gas saver. I'll try to make another post after the 3rd to let you all know how Devil Mountain went, so until then, please keep enjoying my blogs and thank you for reading.
5:45 p.m.
• So the better half asked me the question of all questions today. “How many Halloween movies did they make?” Hoo-boy. Here’s how that conversation went. You can figure out who said what. I also don’t care if I got any facts wrong.
“Well, there was the first Halloween and Halloween 2, which takes place right after the events of Halloween 1. Then there’s Halloween 3”
“*Says something about Michael Myers.*”
“No. Halloween 3 has nothing to do with Michael Myers. It deals with this place that makes these masks which turn people into killers or something.”
“That’s retarded.”
“Michael Myers comes back in Halloween 4.”
“Why is he after that little girl.”
“That’s Jamie Lee Curtis character’s kid.”
“What happened to Jamie Lee Curtis.”
“I don’t know. Probably died or something.”
“OK.”
“Then there’s Halloween 5 when Michael is still after the girl.”
“Does he get her?”
“No. He gets caught and some dude with a machine gun breaks him out of jail at the end.”
”What?
“Yeah, then there’s Halloween 6, where we learn Michael is part of some cult, or is the God of some cult, or something or other. I think he finally kills that girl, but I'm pretty sure that the girl squirted out a kid. I have no clue as to the ending.”
“Then why is Jamie Lee Curtis in that H2O one?”
“Oh, well you have to pretend Halloweens 3-6 never happened and H2O takes place some time after Halloween 2. Then after that there’s the one with Busta Rhymes and Jamie Lee Curtis getting killed.”
“Is that all of them?”
“Well, sorta. They just came out with another Halloween movie directed by Rob Zombie. I’m not sure if it’s a remake or what, but if you want to include that one we’re up to nine.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well you asked.”
And the sad thing is I really like Halloween’s theme music. Actually, when I saw Halloween 6 for the first time I was with a girl friend at Slippery Rock University in a trailer she rented for the semester. I said “girl friend” not “girlfriend.” Anyway, it was the middle of the night and as she started up the movie her Pittsburgh Penguins framed poster fell in her bedroom and made a loud “CRASH,” causing both of us to jump. After she cleaned up that mess there was this thumping sound from outside, probably from a tree branch. As she went to open the door to see what it was I yelled out “DON’T OPEN THAT DOOR!” Boy did that freak her out. Boy did she get pissed. Boy did I laugh out loud. Sad thing was, after seeing Halloween 6: The Bowel Movement of Michael Myers, that crashing poster was scarier.
Well, there's one in every crowd. As you read the following, keep in mind that this guy is responsible for teaching kids.
Source: Cincinnati Enquirer opinion page, 31 October 2007.
http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article.../710310438/1081
http://www.prideofdetroit.com/story/2007/10/31/05312/660
I like an original, well thought out Halloween costume. Jon Kitna, the Detroit Lions quarterback, and his wife showed up at a Monday Halloween party wearing an outstanding costume, in my opinion. But first a little backstory. Last year one of the Lions coaches was arresting for DUI--he drove through a Wendy's drive thru completely naked and drunk. Pretty funny, but also it turns out he was an alcoholic. Well, Kitna goes to the party dressed as a naked guy and his wife dressed as a Wendy's employee. Not bad. He's catching some heat in Detroit over this for being mean or whatever, but I'll cut him some slack because it's been a year. If the arrest had happened a couple weeks ago, then you have to lay off, but the time factor allows me to give him a pass.
David Copperfield is being accused of sexual assault by some lady while he was in the Bahamas. So far the reports are very tenuous at best. He has not been arrested or anything. But now, enter the media. Yes, the media God love them. They are trying to find stories, any story, that could cast Copperfield in a negative light. Get this--there is a story about a guy who attended a Copperfield show with his wife here in the States. (I heard audio of this story on the Phil Hendrie Show, I couldn't find a print link.) Well, what is this guy's deal? Apparently Copperfield sent his assistants to ask his wife if she wanted to come backstage and meet him (they weren't aware she was married to the guy). When they found out she was married they dropped the whole thing and everyone went their merry way. OH MY GOD. You mean to tell me that entertainers pick up women at their shows? NO WAY. And this story is presented in such a way that is trying to show Copperfield as a predator. Jesus, the media.
9:30 p.m.
• Generally, whenever spring/summer sprouts its sunny head the bad drivers come out and cause havoc with those like me that would like nothing better to do than get to work in one piece. However, the last few days the job commute has just been crazy. Peep this:
Wednesday. Multi-car accident on the Parkway East. The overflow from motorists not wanting to engage in interstate gridlock made my commute 20 minutes longer.
Thursday. On the way along a state highway, we phoned in an accident that just took place.
Friday. Mrs. kkk told me of some BUTT-fucker that cut her off and almost ran into her.
Saturday. Some guy backed into the better half’s car. See my Saturday entry for more information.
The best was saved for last, though. We were doing some errands in this shopping center and we came to a shitty three-way intersection. The car across from us went. OK, they were first and they should go first. The car to our left then cut in. OK, a prickish move but whatever. Now it was our turn. However, the Jeep that took the place of the first car suddenly shot out in front of us and tried to turn in front of us was another story. The best part was the asshole who then yelled out to Mrs. kkk “Bitch.”
Wrong move.
I blared on the horn, got out of the car and was seconds away from getting into a full-fledged fistfight. For all the talk I do, I’m nothing more than a giant vagina. However, this pushed me over the edge. If Mrs. kkk had been in the wrong we would have taken the verbal abuse and moved on. But don’t you almost get us into an accident that was 100 percent your fault, and don’t you dare then call my wife a “bitch.” You fucking cock-sucker. I haven’t gotten into a fight in almost 20 years, and even then that scrap made South Park’s cripple fight look like the Rumble in the Jungle. I’m not sure if I would have gotten my ass kicked or even shot, but for some reason a rage just game over me and afterward Mrs. kkk said the following.
“In our ten-plus years together, I’ve never seen you like that.”
“Well, are you chalking this up to another of my ‘road rage’ fits?”
“I don’t know what to call it, although I’m rather impressed you’d act this way for me.”
After this was all said and done, the first thought I had was that I really need to get a concealed firearm because if not I have a feeling this is the way I’m going to check out. Oh, and whatever testosterone rush I displayed out in the parking lot I sapped away when our grocery bill had $62 in store and coupon savings. Hey, not only were Air Wick oil scent warmers on sale, but you also got a free holder with coupon(s).
Well, I've been watching my Halloween horror movie line-up and here goes.
Land of the Dead: Not very good, I didn't enjoy it. Well, it didn't suck completely but it just wasn't entertaining. I still like "Dawn" better as well as "Night". I never liked "Day" much and guess what? Romero is remaking "Day". Why I have no idea. The one good thing about "Land" is the cameo by "Dawn" make-up artist Tom Savini as a zombie. He also had a cameo in "dawn" as a crazed biker chopping up zombies with a machete. Good stuff.
Hatchet: Pretty disappointing. I was looking forward to this, but it was a mess. It was too much of a homage/parody of Jason movies and seemed like it couldn't decide which it was. The "bad guy", a deformed backwoods type with overalls, was just silly. I guess they meant him to be silly, I don't know. There was no attempt to give him quality make-up, he looked like he was wearing a rubber suit. It clearly wasn't supposed to be legitimately scary, but it went a bit too far in the other direction. There were plenty of bare breasts and plenty of gore.
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Meyers: Not bad, I enjoyed it. It cleared up for me the mysterious guy at the end of H5, although that whole Satanist storyline got put on the back burner/ended up on the cutting room floor. They did not flesh out the backstory on that at all. In the movie, they are trying to "capture/control" Michael's evil. But that takes a backseat to Michael doing his usual mayhem. All in all, a good flick with a good nude scene to boot.
The Burning: Have yet to see this. Now this I'm looking forward to seeing. It's the real deal, made in the early 1980s horror. Before horror movies became comedies later in the decade with the Freddy sequels. I'm sure it will be chessy, but I'm also sure it will be over-the-top and feature plenty of nude chicks. I'll report on this later in the week.
...the worst thing you can do to them?
sfaJill has a friend who used to work as an apartment manger. The friend still keeps in touch with a couple of people there and recently learned of this story that happened:
A Muslim couple came in looking for a place and were told that only one apartment was available at that moment. They wanted to see it, so the leasing agent took them out for a tour of it. Immediately upon arriving at the apartment for a look around, the couple got angry. Why? Because the apartment for rent was #911.
They were apparently very insistent that this would not be acceptable because "people here will think we are terrorists" and the other tenants would make their lives "miserable" if two Muslims moved into apartment #911.
Oh, how I love our overly sensitive society.
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In other news, it looks like the latest plan to renovate the Astrodome is dead.
Since the Astros left for Minute Maid Park in 2000 and the Houston Rodeo moved to Reliant Stadium in 2003, the Dome has basically been sitting there collecting dust, save for the occasional high school football playoff game. The final scene of that Friday Night Lights movie was filmed there a couple of years ago. And, of course, we all remember the Dome's last bit of infamy back in 2005 when George W. Bush had all those Katrina refugees locked inside, hoping they would all suffocate in a pile of their own waste.
There has been much talk about what to do with the Dome. One proposal was to turn it into an indoor track and field arena; that coincided with Houston's ill-fated attempt to land the 2012 Summer Olympics. Another was to turn it into a huge parking garage to alleviate the parking issues at Reliant Stadium, but I think somebody figured out that that would be nothing but a giant cardon monoxide death chamber. Still another would have turned it into a "world class" hotel/casino, the sole purpose of which (as proposed) would be to stop Texas gamblers from driving a few hours to the boats in Louisiana.
Thankfully, all of those proposals died. In addition to being idiotic, they would have required tax money to fund and Harris County has already spent over $1 billion on stadiums in the last 10 years; I don't think we need more. Especially for a building that is rapidly turning into ugly, purposeless eyesores in an unattractive part of town. Just tear down the Dome and be done with it, please. Nobody cares about its historical value, and visitors are no longer wowed by it, given the fancier playpens built elsewhere over the years. Please...just let it go so we can stop talking about it. It's for the best.
8:30 p.m.
• Well I just had last Friday and today off, and the weird things is I don’t actually like the actual “day off.” I like the fact when I go into work tomorrow I’m facing a four-day workweek. Of course when I get to stay up late on Sunday night there isn’t a Sunday night game on. Bastards.
• Finally got around to seeing the Grudge sequel last night. I know these two movies get blasted, but I like them. It’s a shame none of the victims tried punching the ghost chick in the face or something.
• This is the third consecutive time I’ve been typing something in the computer room and JJ has taken a crap in the room’s litterbox. Goddamnit. It’s funny because this room is his “domain,” although I don’t know what he’d do if someone else tried to take it over. Each of our three have certain territories around the house. JJ’s is the computer room. Max tends to rule the spare bedroom that is also on our second floor, although the other two also hang out there every now and then – although he has claimed the bed. Dessa really doesn’t “claim” a room, but the one heating vent in the kitchen is hers.
• So the Red Sox won it all. Don’t care. I actually think it’s funny A-Rod took his share of the spotlight by saying he’s opting to become a free agent during the Sox’s time in the spotlight. I’m an A-Rod defender, even though he does some bush-league things every now and then. However, I don’t blame him for wanting to leave. You’re set for life. Go to a place that you will be happy playing for during the summer. Then again, he’ll probably go for the biggest payday. Whatever. It’s not my life. Speaking of “bush-league,” I laughed when I heard some Redskins players got pissed when the Patriots “ran up the score” by going for it on 4th down while up by 30+ points. You know the best way to counter this “disrespect”? Go after Tom Brady’s knees.
• Oh for fuck’s sake.
You know, if you can’t graduate from frickin’ HIGH SCHOOL, you’re a loser. The only exception to this is if you have 10 siblings, your parents died and you’re working five jobs to keep food on the table and the lights on. And even then you should be working toward a GED in your spare time.
