6:15 p.m.
• Well we donated blood at a local church for some kid with leukemia and afterward, Mrs. kkk fainted. This of course caused a scene much like the shit you see on any medical drama, only less intense. And with uglier nurses. Always got to cause I scene. She’ll live. What was more dramatic was when I thought there might be some trouble with the computer, only to discover I needed the mouse replaced. I’m such a techie.
I also took the day off work hoping to get in some good video-gaming, only to discover the better half decided to take a “me day,” too. Fuck. The only thing worse than when this happens is on Sunday when I have the football games on while doing odds ‘n ends around the house and I get to listen to her bitch “Is this all you’re going to do today?” Let’s see, what did I do yesterday while the games were on: Made 40 bottles of Crystal Light. Clipped and sorted through coupons. Did three loads of laundry. Exercised for 90 minutes. Computed the monthly budget where I document everything we spent and everything we earned. Made dinner. What did she do? Watch “Lord of the Rings.” Married life, folks. Someday this will be you typing.
3 p.m.
• So Swift Terror was bitching about the new Jew tactic teams are doing at the end of games when a field goal kicker is about to boot the pigskin and the opposing coach calls “time out.” I don’t really see the big deal. Yeah, it’s lame, but like Mr. Terror said, just wait until the “timed-out” kick goes wide right and the mulligan goes through the uprights. If the NCAA and NFL want to “ban” this, then whatever. The only thing I object to is the potential for injury when play is stopped right when the ball is snapped. Just let them play out the down and let them know a time out was called before the play. Besides, teams should know by now that the opposing coach will probably employ this strategy and just treat the whole thing as a warm-up routine. But to get “offended” over all this, which is what I’ve seen on a few ESPN/NFL pre-game shows, is just a bit too much.
10:30 a.m.
So when the baseball season began Al Keiper and I made predictions as to win totals for each baseball team. Time to see the damage. Teams in bold were correct predictions. Actual wins are in ().
Al kkk-eiper's picks
NL EAST
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Washington Nationals 66.5 OVER (73)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 UNDER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 OVER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 UNDER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 UNDER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 OVER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 OVER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 OVER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 UNDER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 UNDER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 UNDER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 UNDER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 UNDER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 UNDER (75)
Total Correct = 15
Al Keiper's picks
NL EAST
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
Washington Nationals 66.5 UNDER (73)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 OVER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 UNDER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 OVER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 OVER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 OVER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 UNDER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 UNDER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 UNDER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 OVER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 OVER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 OVER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 OVER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 UNDER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 OVER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 OVER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 OVER (75)
Total Picks = 16
Now I guess I could say that if I would have gotten just one of the 15 incorrect picks right, then I would have tied our board's baseball expert, but I'd rather make it sound more dramatic. If the Phillies would have lost just one more game we would have tied! Yeah, that sounds much better than pointing out some of my gems:
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Wow, this is older than me. Full review this time, and if I'm feelin' it, same for One Night Only tomorrow or Tuesday. If I'm not feelin' it, a truncated version will have to do.
Gorilla and Jesse on commentary, thank goodness. Can't stand when they edit Jesse out of these...
1st match, "Leaping" Lanny Poffo v. Iron Mike Sharpe.
Prematch: ....
Blow-by blow: Sharpe wants the ring announcer to introduce him as the Best Canadian something or other, so they re-do his ring entrance. No poem from Lanny, for shame. 2 minutes of wasted time and a monkey flip and three dropkicks starts it off for Poffo, a quick kip-up, and a cross-body gets two. Poffo's a house of fire, so he gets three arm drags and Sharpe reverses the arm-wringer into a head scissor. Poffo stands on his head, does some gay split-legged, bicycle riding shit, and gets out of the scissor. Some SLOW armwork by Sharpe leads to a hammerlock reversal by Poffo, and Sharpe breaks it. Poffo gets an enziguri, they brawl on the outside as this just feels like a draw, and Poffo gets a sunset flip for one on his way in, as the ref counts SLOW AS FUCK. Speed that shit up, son. Punches for 2 minutes (yes, I timed these times which seem randomly arbitrary, and they aren't random so nyah), and Sharpe misses an ugly dropkick. Real ugly. Poffo does a front flip off the top for a slow 2, then a standing front flip onto Sharpe for another 2 count, and then a standing MOONSAULT IN 1985! for 2 more. Seems like a build to a finish, but Sharpe kills that with a knee and shoulderblock, Poffo gets a small package on a bodyslam reversal for 2, another cradle for 2 and the "20 minute" time limit expires at around 17 minutes. Poffo gives Sharpe a small beating at the end and Sharpe bails to the back.
Match analysis: I can't stand time-limit draws, and this was no exception. They screwed around for about 10 minutes and brought some good stuff at the end. To be kind, I'll give them **.
2nd match, Rene Goulet v. King Tonga.
Prematch: Goulet is the man with the GLOVE OF SHINING DIAMONDS, but he removes said glove and brings out a bowling glove. Huh? King Tonga is Haku, btw. Obviously...
Blow-by-blow: Stalling (sigh), and Tonga gets a beel as Goulet stops screwing around. A takedown, arm-wringer and strikes follow, as Tonga gets punched in the head to stop it. But Islanders have hard heads, see; as Jesse points out, so it doesn't affect King Tonga. Boring chant gets started (and I don't blame them), and Tonga gets a snapmare for two. Whip in and Goulet gets a pretty good clothesline in on Tonga, and Goulet applies THE CLAWWWWW. More boring chants. Goulet grabs something out of his tights and whaps King Tonga upside his head with it. Goulet then bites him, and applies the claw. Haku Tonga breaks it up with some karate strikes, and throws Goulet into the turnbuckle for a Flair Flip. A back suplex from Tonga gets two, but a nice superkick and crossbody from the top finishes for King Tonga at 9:33. I did some fact checking on the times, but I like mine better.
Match analysis: Sucked, no heat, boring, sucked, no heat. Goulet is obviously near the end of the line at this point. 3/4*.
3rd match, Moondog Spot[/i ] v. [i]Corporal Kirchner.
Prematch: Spot's holding a bone and I like Kirchner's music. The beret is sorta ghey.
Blow-by-blow: Kirchner starts off with a dropkick to send Spot out, as soon as Spot gets back in, his ass eats an atomic drop to send him back out. Kirchner gets an armdrag and legdrop on the right arm and puts some more work in. Spot breaks it up with a knee to the head, but Kirchner sends him into the corner for a monkey flip. Now Kirchner starts working on the left (I absolutely can't stand when someone does this) arm and Kirchner says forget it, and gives him some shoulder and a crossbody for 2. They wind up on the floor, and Spot throws Kirchner into the barricade, knocking the barricade over. I liked that part. Chinlock on the inside from Spot, power out by the Cpl, and both guys miss elbows, a nice sunset flip by Kirchner gets two. A small dead period here, and when it's done, Spot comes off the 2nd rope with a fist to the head of Kirchner. Back to the chinlock...then a stomachbreaker by Moondog Spot. Back to the chinlock....and Kirchner starts his comeback. Hiptoss, another monkey flip, and a double clothesline to kill it. I got the feeling there was going to be a draw, but Spot tries a slam and it's reversed into a cradle by Corporal Kirchner for the fall at 14:51.
Match analysis: If you haven't noticed, I know how to make shitty matches sound decent. This one was terrible. Another 3/4*.
4th match, Swede Hanson vs. The Missing Link!!!!!
Prematch: I have a confession to make. I've never, EVER seen a Missing Link match. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.
Blow-by-blow: Headbutts by Link, 2 backrakes by Missing Link, 3 backslaps by Link, and another headbutt by The Missing Link to start out. Punchy, kicky and a headbutt for Swede. Missed headbutt by Link, but he gets an elbow drop and another headbutt. Then a springboard headbutt for Link, and on his way back up, Swede gives him a nutshot and a scoop slam. Some legwork on Link's left leg, and a knee lift as he gives up the legwork. Link headbutts him some more, and The Missing Link hits a headbutt off the 2nd rope to finish at 5:35.
Match analysis: Ugh. Color me disappointed. Nothing but headbutts. DUD.
The 5th match is for the WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION BAH GAWD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD. The challenger is King Kong Bundy w/Jimmy Hart and the champion is HULK MF HOGAN.
Prematch: Danny Davis is the ref, and he's sporting a nice little fro. King Kong Bundy is looking decidedly less mean than he did in months afterward, and it's always weird (for me anyway) to see Hart not wearing a special jacket for his charge. Hulk Hogan comes out to a freakin' gigantic pop, probably one of the 5 loudest and longest. I've heard for him. They love him in Boston. Hogan's wearing white, and I believe we all know what that means. If you don't, you will. Hogan's also American Made. The only things I dislike about the houseshows are the lack of rambling promos in the prematch, and Hillbilly Jim. I hate Hillbilly Jim. Anyway.
Blow-by-blow: Hulk's the irresistable force meeting the immovable object, as he gets a big head of steam and runs into Bundy. Bundy doesn't move the first time, so Hulk decides he's going to give him a knee lift for his pleasure the second time 'round and knocks Bundy down quick. Hogan tries to slam Bundy, but it fails and Bundy falls on him for a close two. Big elbow drop by Bundy and Bundy gives him a splash for two. Hogan gets up and gives Bundy some head smashes into the turnbuckle, a whip to the other side and Hogan gives him a HUGE clothesline to put Bundy's fatass on the ground. Bundy catches Hogan in the gut as Hogan's about to go to work, and King Kong takes Hulk over. He chokes him and goes to a chinlock. Hogan powers out quickly and attempts a wristlock reversal. It goes well for a few seconds, but Bundy clocks him, snapmare's Hogan over, an elbow drop and back to the chinlock. Quick break again leads to a bearhug that eats up a minute of the match. The star ratings come off, because the match was really goin' up to this point. Monsoon calls Hulk Hogan, "the People's Champ (now where have I heard that?)." A fake Hulk-up gets Hogan a clothesline and kneedrop for his troubles. Cover gets two, as Bundy decides it's time to finish things up. Whip into the turnbuckle and Bundy goes for the Avalanche. He nails it, but the big splash afterward only gets 2. Another Avalanche and an elbowdrop gets 2, and it's Hulk-up time. 3 punch, boot, Bundy doesn't go down, running elbow, and the atomic drop is what gets Bundy down. Hart finally gets involved and eats the power of Hulkamania. He gets on the apron again and tosses the megaphone to Bundy. Megaphone shot leads to a DQ for Bundy and Hogan retains his title at 8:58. Hogan does a decent blade-job (that's why he was wearing white, btw) cleans out the ring, does some posing and that's that. The crowd is dead from here, just as they were dead before this match.
Match analysis: I loved it. Heat was off the charts, and the time of the rest holds was kept to a minimum. No doubt MOTN, **1/4 for the affair. Got Bundy over as a threat (because Hogan never hit the legdrop, and never had a chance to, at that), and next month's show in Boston finished what was started in September. I feel bad for whoever stayed after this.
6th match, SD Jones v. Adrian Adonis.
Prematch: This is before Adrian's gay gimmick, as he comes to the ring wearing biker garb. It hides his fat well, as one can see when it is disposed of. He's gigantic. He has the Yankees logo on his boots, getting over the whole, "from Hell's Kitchen" thing.
Blow-by-blow: Adonis swings his belt at SD, and SD somehow gets it back, but he doesn't take a swing although Adonis turns his back and vacates. They trade hammerlocks as Jones takes him over, but Adonis gets up and gives him a shoulderblock and nice drop toe hold. Starts with the legwork, but Jones hits a monkey flip and an armdrag as there's a disturbance in the crowd. They trade punches for a bit to let the commotion die down, and Adonis does an Albert type slingshot/decapitation into the ropes and SD sells the neck well. Adonis won't let SD in unless it's the hard way, and the hard way is a suplex in by Adonis. It gets a 2 count. Goodnight Irene for Jones, but it's not over as Jones does the babyface powerup. SD gives Adonis a nice Special Delivery headbutt, then he delivers big ol' Adrian into the ropes and Adonis does a nice tie-up spot. I've never seen that one before. It was a backflip out of the ring, but Adrian tied his hands into the ropes, leaving the entire front of the body open for shots as he's on his knees. Nice stuff. Adonis gets out and turned upside down as he's whipped into the buckle, but SD's comeback doesn't last for long, as he whips AA into the ropes for a "reverse bulldog," as Monsoon would say, but really, it's a DDT by Adonis for the win at 8:07. My times aren't like the listed ones because even if the bell's rang, if a guy doesn't have his garb off and nothing's going on, I don't time it.
Match analysis: Strong work by Adonis. Not much more than a glorified squash of Jones, but both guys did a good job. *1/2. The match was harmless, and guys in the current 'E' would do well to learn from this. Wrestling isn't just about hitting spots.
7th match, Desiree Peterson v. Leilani Kai
Prematch: Nothing much of note here, but they announced Desiree Peterson as being from Copenhagen. Come on.
Blow-by-blow: Starts off with 2 dropkicks from Peterson and Kai tries to bail. She can't, as she gets beeled back in. A nice flying headscissor from Peterson and one of them (I honestly forgot) makes the other one spread their legs in a submission move. I forgot who it was, because I was so surprised to see it. Really, WTF? A nice drop toe hold from Peterson, then a half crab, arm-wringer and then legdrop on the arm. Monkey flip by Peterson, but Kai turns the tide with a hairmare and an eye rake against the ropes. Chokes and crap to Peterson, a blown double underhook once, but re-do the spot again and Kai gets it for a SSSSSLLLLLOOOOWWW two. Goodness, what's in the water tonight. Every ref but Davis has been slow as hell. 2 fist drops get two for Kai, but Peterson pulls out an abdominal stretch on an irish whip reversal. Poor Peterson, she can't catch a break as Kai goes to work with some back rakes. Two big throws by Kai and a scoop slam. Good dropkick by Peterson coming off the whip, then she picks Kai up and gives her a backdrop followed by a slam. Failed splash by Peterson, but she decides to go up to the top. Peterson gets three after a BIG flying dropkick. No time, but it was longish.
Match analysis: Dead crowd. Dead me. It's going to take much better than that effort to get my attention. *1/2, it could have been much better.
Now, for the Main Event of the Evening, a 6 Man Tag, it's the current WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, The Dream Team, Valentine and Beefcake with Johnny V as their third man, and the team of Pedro Morales, Ivan Putski, and Uncle Elmer, and they're accompanied by Cousin Junior and Hillbilly Jim
Prematch: This shit is going to suck. The hillbilly that can actually put in a decent match is on the outside, Putski is an old man roided to the gills, and I don't care much for Morales. With Johnny V and Beefcake on the other side, that'll be bad for teh snowflakes. Junior does some redneck dance and we're underway.
Blow-by-blow: Literally, nothing happens for 5 minutes. They're starting at -* and have to work their way up. Valentine and Elmer finally go to work, and Elmer sends Valentine down with a weak right, so he does it again and this time it looks better. Shoulderblock by Elmer and a choke toss, and Elmer wants Beefcake, so Beefcake tags in. He taunts Hillbilly, and during that Putski tags in with some POLISH POWER and works over the heels with some POLISH POWERED PUNCHES. Tag to Morales, and the faces are doing well for themselves now that Elmer's out. They're out of negative territory. Double noggin-knocker for Johnny V and Beefcake, but the heels take over quickly. A Beefcake slam and then the camera cuts to a sign that says "Brutus Beefcake loves Greg the Faggot Valentine." Exactly as it was written, I shit you not. Got a laugh out of me, if only because I wasn't expecting it. That isn't the only reason, it's also because this show has really tried my patience. Back to the action, as Valentine tags in, misses an elbow and Pedro starts to go to work. Lefts for Valentine, but Johnny V catches Morales and sets him up for Valentine. Valentine misses and hits Johnny V with a good looking right. No big deal, Valentine didn't forget about Morales. He stops that assault and tags in Johnny V, who definitely wants a piece of Morales. Some weak offense by Valiant, but Putski decides he wants to break it up anyway. The ref gets in the way (I think it's Davis again), and Valiant grabs a front facelock on Morales. A false hot tag, and the heels do a switch, as Valentine takes over. Couple elbows and a few two counts, but Morales kicks out. Legwork by the Hammer leads to a Figure 4, but fatass Elmer breaks it up. Pedro sneaks through the legs of one of the heels and tags Putski. POLISH POWER leads to a schmoz, and Pedro rolls up Johnny V although neither of them were the legal man. Gay. The Hillbillies, sans Elmer, dance in the ring to end the show, as the broadcast portion goes out with a shot of Monsoon and Ventura saying good things about Boston.
Match analysis: 5 minutes of nothing doesn't cut it for me. *1/4. If I were to ignore the nothing portion of the match, I'd give it 1/2 a star more. Elmer is useless, and Beefcake doesn't do much. Beefcake didn't play a big part, so that was nice.
Bad show that gets a * star rating, but it's not as bad as Hardcore Heaven. Despite the poor rating for this, Hardcore Heaven was simply inexcusable, as wrestling was in a state that could produce far better matches. Not only that, I expected more out of Hardcore Heaven. I knew all I was going to get out of this was Bundy v. Hogan, and while I believe that was easily the best match with by far the most heat, it's not enough. Watch for historical purposes, prepare to FF. Not good.
Comments and suggestions are welcome. My bad reviews will probably be longer than the good ones, but then again, I haven't reviewed anything good so far. Keep the hits comin', as I can't keep up the 2 reviews per day pace forever.
I thought it would be easier than this, but it's a guaranteed two hour entry for each one I write. It shouldn't be like this for the TV shows or PPV's, but for house shows it's tough. I'll keep 'em comin' until it isn't fun anymore, which won't be for a while.
Not a live game this time but worthy of an entry nonetheless. Today the Phillies clinched the National League East on the final day of the season. I will leave the taunting for Mets fans out if this one. I grew up in a family that was not big into baseball, so I don't really remember a great deal about the 1993 season. This is the first time I have vivid memories of the Phillies reaching the postseason. For those who wonder why cheer for a traditionally failing team, here you go. I can not imagine any division championship being as sweet to Yankee fans as today's victory was for Phils' fans.
I don't think it's an exaggeration to say this season was the best baseball season I experienced. Around fifty live games attended. The highlights...
-Watching the Texas Rangers score 30 runs on the Baltimore Orioles.
-Seeing Louisville's Chris Dickerson hit for the cycle.
-Catching Andy Pettitte implode against the Oakland Athletics, in Yankee Stadium.
-Watching Sal F'n Fasano steal a base, straight up.
-Getting an autograph from Joba Chamberlain.
-Seeing back-to-back doubleheaders in Williamsport and Scranton.
This season included 37 games in Scranton, three in Philadelphia, one trip to Williamsport (doubleheader), a doubleheader in Baltimore, a seat in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium (overrated), two games in Reading, and shots in Harrisburg, Trenton and Lakewood. Ranking the parks by best ballpark experience.
1. Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia)
2. Oriole Park at Camden Yards (Baltimore)
3. First Energy Stadium (Reading)
4. First Energy Park (Lakewood)
5. Waterfront Park (Trenton)
6. Commerce Bank Park (Harrisburg)
7. Bowman Field (Williamsport)
8. Yankee Stadium
9. PNC Field (Scranton)
In case you're wondering why I'm posting a review of some rasslin' shit, it's because I actually started watching it again. No, not the current WWE product. I couldn't watch that shit if I tried. Rather, their 24/7 on demand channel. I never thought I'd watch wrestling again, but I got sucked back in. Once my cable company picked up this channel, I couldn't help it.
I'm reviewing this stuff mainly for my own amusement, but also for those that don't have the channel and haven't seen these events before. Starting next week, I'm going to write full reviews, with blow-by-blow and the like. But, this batch of shows in the Big Ones section is going to be reviewed in a short form. No blow by blow, just my general thoughts on the match and ratings. I'm not going to sit through this show again and take notes, and if you're reading, you'll soon find out why. Take these short reviews as a test run for me to smooth out some kinks, they aren't going to be perfect. Anyhow....
ECW Hardcore Heaven 1997, from Fort Lauderdale, FL.
A Rick Rude sighting to start out and a shitty promo to come with it, as he introduces Chris Candido.
For the ECW TV Title: Taz (c.) w/Bill Alfonso v. Chris Candido.
First note, the dubbed music on these shows sucks. Terry Funk's is unintentionally hilarious (no, I don't know if it was dubbed or not), but, my thoughts on the match.
Match didn't work for me. Lots of sloppy spots and a finish I didn't particularly care for. Quite possibly the best match on the show, unfortunately. Not too long, not too short. Finish seemed sorta rushed, as it went from Taz hitting a few moves, Candido hitting a move, putting Taz up on the turnbuckle, Taz "waking up", and Taz choking Candido out with the Tazmission. Gay. I don't think much of Taz as a worker, he doesn't sell anything and has little in-ring psychology. For the rating...**. I've seen much worse.
They showed a little clip of the Insane Clown Posse getting the shit kicked out of them by RVD and Sabu (in a suit, huh? I don't figure him as the suit wearing type.), with Fonzie carrying Sabu's World Title and blowing his whistle as per usual. And it gets on my nerves after a while. This leads to something later.
2nd match, Bam Bam Bigelow v. Spike Dudley in a "Revenge Match".
I don't know what the "Revenge Match" billing is for, and I'm not going to pretend that I do. Almost everything they show on this channel, I haven't watched. Spike gets beat up and does a blade-job. Not much to see here, except for the vicious powerbomb toward the end. Bam Bam finished with a Bam Bam sault, not a true moonsault because he doesn't do a flip, more like a 360 turn splash or something. 1/2*. I liked Bam Bam's techno music.
To follow up on the ICP angle/clip/whatever, Sandman comes to the ring to help them out, gets the shit kicked out of him by RVD and Sabu, and does an ambulance job. More later.
3rd match, Al Snow v. "Mr. Monday Night" RVD w/Bill Alfonso in a "Monday Night Rules Match."
Terrible match. I really enjoy Al Snow's work, but it didn't do anything for me here. Couple blown spots by both guys, pointless stipulation, and no heat. When they hit their spots, it was nice. They didn't hit enough of them. The best spot was the first long running clothesline from Snow, as he ran the full length of the entrance aisle to pickup steam. No heat on any of the matches so far, I noticed. At best, decent, that's if I'm being kind, and this show put me in a rotten mood. Nearly fell asleep twice. *1/2, finished with a VanDaminator. I tuned out the whistling this time.
Next, one of three "Extreme Chopper" segments where they follow the Sandman after he "stole/tookover" the ambulance and is on his way back to the arena. A waste of money on ECW's part, it's a terrible segment. I don't know if this angle got "rave reviews" back in the day or not, but if it did, it absolutely DOES NOT hold up.
4th match, the Dudleys (c.) w/Joel Gertner, Big Dick, Sign Guy Dudley and Jenna Jameson v. PG-13, ring announcer didn't say if it was a tag title match or not, so I'll guess not.
Passable. I liked it, but the ring entrances (not just for this match) are WAY too long, and the dubbed music sucks. Kinda kills my enjoyment of the show, but I don't know if things would have been different had the show actually been worth a shit up to this point. Jenna Jameson is with the Dudleys, and I think she looks pretty good here. Hard to say when you know how things change, isn't it? 3D finishes PG-13, two unfunny white boys that couldn't cut their pre-match promo for shit. **.
2nd "Extreme Chopper" segment. Fastforward....oh wait. End of part one. I waited two days before watching part two, which I just finished, so my memory is much fresher.
5th match, Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer w/Beulah.
Lawler cut this same promo during part 1. It was terrible the first time, FF worthy the next. Match went like this. Brawl on outside, two minutes in, blade-job Lawler, brawl, ok, enough of 3 word descriptions. After they brawl for a bit, lights go out, and Rick Rude hits Dreamer with a trash can when the lights come back on. Not the fake, paper-thin kind they use now, this one's thicker and looks like it could do a little damage. I don't remember at which point this happened, but Lawler ripped off Tommy's shirt. Well, now I know why Tommy wears a shirt. He has bitch-tits from past steroid abuse. He's off the juice, as one could see, and packing some extra pounds. They brawl some more, and the lights go out again. This time, JAKE THE FUCKING SNAKE ROBERTS is out there when the lights come on and does a little work to both Lawler and Dreamer, eventually DDT'ing Dreamer. More brawl, and the lights go out again! Come on. This time, Sunny's in the ring, gives Dreamer some hair-spray and has a little cat-fight roll around with Beulah, and then Tommy hits the DDT on Lawler for the win. Overbooked crap, and, if you noticed, that's close to a full review, as these guys didn't do much worth noting otherwise. Nearly treaded into negative star territory, but I'll give it a DUD. I liked ECW, but this show sucks.
Sandman beats up some cops as he gets back to the arena, this was led in by another "Extreme Chopper" segment, which I fastforwarded past. Lance Wright was giving commentary on these shitty segments, btw.
6th match, Sabu (c.) w/Bill Alfonso vs. "The Franchise" Shane Douglas w/Francine vs. Terry Funk, in a Three Way Dance for the ECW Heavyweight Championship of the World.
I'm going to give this a two part review, as the match drastically changed (in what way, you'll see) when the first participant left the match. Hilarious country dub to Funk's music, the lyrics of the song were great.
Part 1: Sabu hit some nice spots, fucked up one spot where he stepped on a chair to do a moonsault and it bent downwards, causing him to call into the ropes. It got a nice "You Fucked Up" chant from the fans (loudest they've been all night, sad really) which I always love to hear. First run-in is Tod Gordon, who makes his way down as Alfonso helps Sabu set-up a table. A bit of brawling leaves Sabu stuck up on the top rope for about a minute and a half, then Gordon and Alfonso get put on the table and driven through it by a Sabu legdrop. Then Sandman runs in and hits Sabu with a ladder, leading to Sabu getting pinned by both Douglas and Funk.
Stop here. Do not watch the rest of the match. This part gets **1/4, undoubtedly the best match on the show. Up to that point, anyway.
Part 2: Ok, now, after Sabu gets pinned, the match gets ignored for 2 or 3 minutes as Sabu and Sandman commence brawling to the back. Douglas and Terry Funk are the ones left, if you haven't noticed. My main problem with everything after the pin is that the champion is the one whose been eliminated, but the thing is, all the focus was taken off the actual TITLE FIGHT when Sandman and Sabu began brawling. It upstaged the match in the ring, but on second thought, that may have been a good thing. The rest really sucked. Bit of brawling as Funk hits himself in the head with a garbage can on the outside, purposefully, at that. Dory Funk comes out (now this is the loudest part of the show), and nails Douglas in the head a few times, FF about a minute, and the Franchise hits the Belly-to-Belly, becoming the NEW ECW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. This part gets *, giving the match a full rating of *3/4. Bad math, I know.
Joel Gertner hits the ring after Douglas puts a sound ass-whoopin on Funk for a minute, and asks Shane to leave the Triple Threat and join a new stable, the Triple Crown, with both Buh Buh and and D-Von. Bam Bam and Candido (the other members of the Triple Threat) hit the ring, and commence brawling. There were guys (the FBI among others)that I didn't mention standing in the entrance aisle , they join in and get their asses wiped out (I should use a different figure of speech next time, huh) by both teams, this goes on for too long, and someone else hits the ring. It's Balls and Axl Rotten, they get beat up, so New Jack and Kronus gotsta hit the ring and turn the tide. Saturn follows on a bad leg and hits an elbow from the top. Celebrate, yadayadayada and the face groups grab Gertner from the outside and give him a nice, clean concussion chairshot and the shows over.
What a fucking waste of 3 hours. I'll never watch this crap again. The crowd didn't get involved, the matches sucked, the angles sucked, basically everything sucked. Too many run-ins in each match killed any flow the show had going, on top of that, the garbage wrestling ECW brought to the table tonight didn't offer anything. Un-entertaining. Was ECW testing to see how many PPV viewers they'd lose in November, as each performance was mailed in. If the talent doesn't give a crap, I don't give a crap.
*1/2 rating for the whole thing, not worth watching unless you've never seen it.
I'll do something else soon, and like I said, once 24/7 gets updated, full reviews are on the way of the MNW and NWA show. At my own pace though, I'm not rushing through anything. Until next time...
Before I get to the football, this week I go on baseball overdrive with the Bored's 2007 MLB Awards and Bored's 2007 MLB Player Rankings. Both are great if you were in a coma since April which I wish I was instead of being subjected to the A's season.
I didn't end up having work yesterday after all so I was able to be lazy and gorge myself on college football all day after all but the Cal/Oregon game left such a bad taste in my mouth that I didn't feel like doing an unfunny Wrap Up entry. Cal is now a legit Top 3 team which means there is no God.
As for my Pointless Top 25, with so many top teams losing this weekend it is pretty much impossible not to give some 1 loss teams a decent ranking. But that being said I stil think the entire Top 10 should only be unbeaten teams, even though that is proving very difficult. Again don't even bother reading it.
1. LSU
2. USC
3. Fuck!
4. Ohio State
5. Kentucky
6. South Florida
7. Boston College
8. Wisconsin
9. Arizona State
10. Cincinnati
11. Oregon
12. South Carolina
13. Florida
14. Missouri
15. Georgia
16. Purdue
17. Oklahoma
18. Kansas
19. West Virginia
20. Kansas State
21. Illinois
22. Michigan State
23. Texas
24. Hawaii
25. Connecticut
9:45 a.m.
• OK, time for this week’s NFL pickkks:
(4.5) Baltimore @ Cleveland
Hmm, will the former Browns tear shit up or will the Browns give them a game? If I go with last year’s divisional winner getting the ship straight, then they won’t. If I go the other way, this will be the Week 1 Browns that had four different penalties on one play, not the Week 2 team that scored 50+ points. The Ravens secondary is better than Bengals. I’ll go with the former.
(3.5) Chicago @ Detroit
Shit, another similar conundrum. Will having a new quarterback spark the Bears or will the Lions play them tougher than they did with the Eagles last week? I’ll go with the latter in this case.
(2.5) Green Bay @ Minnesota
I have a feeling this one will bit me in the ass. I typically go with the Vikings at home against Favre, but I heard some stat on “Around the Horn” earlier in the week about the Packers quarterback having good games at Minnesota the last few years.
(3.5) Houston @ Atlanta
The Falcons didn’t play that bad last week, did they?
(3.5) N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo
I have no reason for this one.
Oakland @ Miami (4.5)
I don’t even know if the Dolphins have won a game this year. I just chalk it up to another selection for no reason.
St. Louis @ Dallas (13.5)
Even though this has all the makings of a “let down” game, the Cowboys have been blowing out teams they should be beating this year. Why change now?
(2.5) Seattle @ San Francisco
Normally I give the division champ the benefit of the doubt, but here’s hoping this will be the “changing of the guard” over in the NFC West. I’m tired of the Seahawks finishing first over there.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina (3.5)
I thought picking up David Carr was a good move, but I’m wondering if he’ll need a week or three to get into the Panther groove. I’m hoping the Carolina defense can hold the fort until then.
Denver @ Indianapolis (9.5)
I was going to go with Indy, but called an audible at the line of scrimmage. Oh I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt me.
Kansas City @ San Diego (12.5)
I don’t like the spread, but if there ever was a game for the Chargers to get back on the winning track, it’s this one.
(6.5) Pittsburgh @ Arizona
I have no stats for this one. It’s been my experience that the Steelers always have trouble at Arizona.
(2.5) Philadelphia @ N.Y. Giants
I’m still pissed at that Giants win last week. Go Donovan.
(7.5) New England @ Cincinnati
Only 7.5 points against a defense that gave up 50+ to the Browns? Sign me up.
4:15 a.m.
• Better late than never I guess, you academic asshole.
• Earlier today I watched ESPN's college football show for the first time. I might watch future episodes. My favorite part was the sign in the background that read "Lou Holtz for Prethadent." Man that's cold. "O.J. stole my tickets" finished second, but I've watched too many wrestling shows in my lifetime that had similar signs in the crowd. I hate to say it, but for the past year or so I've gotten more interested in watching college football. I don't actually care about any of the teams (although I wanted Texas to beat USC a few years ago), and the fact there's no official playoff system makes these contests nothing more than exhibition games, but in regards to just to "watching football," it's been a surprisingly enjoyable experience.
8:45 a.m.
• So recently some college football coach went off on a columnist for writing a mean column about his one player.
Here’s the column in question.
I’m rather indifferent on if the coach should have called out this columnist – the PTI boys didn’t approve (wonder why). However, I will say this: Whenever these stories pop up, and the argument of “OMG the reporter has a right to free speech,” doesn’t the coach or representative from the team have a right to call out the writer? It’s hilarious to witness, whenever an incident like this happens, how the reporters in the room just stand there and take it, and even though their expressions are not shown on camera, I’m sure many of them have a deer-in-headlights-look. It would be great if a journalist would just respond back, “Yeah I wrote that – prove me wrong, bitch.” Hell, get up on stage with your accuser and have a field day. Now that would make for great television. On a somewhat related story, I remember last year Tony Kornheiser got all pissy when some in the media bashed him for his "Monday Night Football" announcing early into the season. I agreed that it was a bit too early to say he was terrible at this, but is it still "too early"? Amazing how critics/commentators have some of the thinnest skin.
Having read this column, all I have to say is that if a reporter is gonig to say things like "If you believe the rumors and the rumblings...", "Word is...", "Other times, though, Reid has been nicked in games and sat it out instead of gutting it out," then you better have the evidence to back this up. Otherwise, get ready to defend yourself. At least she was able to prove that this quarterback does get the jitters before games.
Oh, and here's the best part of this whole story. From the AP.
• The starting U.S. goalie in the women’s world cup thing got benched for some chick who played good against Brazil several years ago. The starting goalie, Hope Solo, then bitched about being benched after America lost 4-0 and trashed her coach and teammate.
Solo had no reason to be benched due to her play. Now there’s the “she’s a whiner/threw team under the bus” talk, but in this case I don’t blame her. She was probably still pissed from losing, and to make matters worse she had to watch the carnage while sitting on the sideline. If I was her teammate (outside of perhaps the goalie who replaced her), I’d rather have her get pissed off over this than just sit there and say the usual “oh, it’s OK we’re a happy team go U.S.A.” crap.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 9: Mr. Rant
Rant and I go back like receding hairlines. Well, maybe not that far back. But far back enough to remember classic moments like this. Rant can be a bit of a mystery. The same person who posts material like this will recoil and show the claws at the slightest mention of his crumb-snatcher. Oh, yeah, when he’s not posting god-knows-what (I know better than to click on any link in a thread titled, "This completely ruins a good cum bath, NSFW"), he’s helping our computers stay virus-free so we can see just what completely ruins a good cum batch. While I'm on this subject, is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?" Did I mention he also has a soft spot for a certain kind of household pet and doesn't care for a certain sect of our society?
6:30 p.m.
• Had the interview this morning. Will I get invited back? No idea. Like I’ve said before, when you already have a job going to interview at another place is much easier. When you’re unemployed or trying to get something that is somewhat related to the 4+ years of post-high school study to took the wait to get a call back is nerve-racking. When you already have a 9 to 5 and you’re waiting for a response there’s actually somewhat of an annoyance to get a response because now you have to dip into vacation time (although I didn’t this time because of the 13 hours I put in the other weekend). I think this was one of my better interviews – much better than my first outing. My time was cut short because they had another interview scheduled – some twenty-something chick. Oh well.
You know what I am jealous of in regards to chicks? When dressing up, they can go a number of routes – pants, dress, blouse, sweater, etc. For guys it’s a coat, tie and pants. Then again, it’s good to be simple. So far I have been treated relatively well by this place. It’s amazing how unprofessional some places can be in the job-hiring process. Yeah I know I’m the job seeker and the company is the job holder, but sometimes I wonder if the hiring people have any idea how awful it makes their organization look when they don’t return calls or drop correspondence after giving their word to contact someone with the results of a hiring. But what do I know. I don’t have a human resources degree.
Best-case scenario: I get a job I’ll probably bitch about a year or so from now. Worst-case scenario: I got some new dress clothes on clearance and updated my portfolio. Either way, I also have Monday off. Yay and stuff. And always remember: There's always someone out there who can do your job better and cheaper than you. The trick is to get hired before the interviewer finds them. That way, you can at least collect unemployment if you get canned.
• You know what I’ve thought about doing? Making a profile on eharmony.com. No, I’m not thinking about cheating on Mrs. kkk. My reason for this is because I’m curious to know what a “match” would be for me. I know I’m going to regret finding the estrogen version of me, but it’s one of those things that you can’t get out of your head. That is until you see the opposite gender of you. I’m sure after that it’ll be one of those things I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head even though I’ll make every attempt to do so.
• So there has been road construction in my neighborhood for the last two weeks, and the better half has been bitching nonstop about them not putting a “ramp” thing by our driveway, which they stripped before the repaving process. I’ve been telling her for the last 10 days they’re probably going to “re-ramp” everybody’s driveways when everything else is done, but instead of hearing “you may have a point,” I’ve been getting, “I better not be driving over that bump in front of our driveway/this is bullshit.” Well guess what the construction people did about 10 minutes ago? Yep.
• John Edwards, if you can make good on this promise, I just might vote for you. But I want results first.
"What he can do about inner-city kids partaking in violence." Good God.
7:50pm More road nonsense
kkk always seems to have an asshole driver story...don't we all.
A couple days ago I was at a light waiting to turn left--waiting for an opening in the stream of cars coming the other way. A truck comes up behind me after I had been there already. Finally there is an opening and apparently I didn't accelerate fast enough because this guy was nearly touching my rear bumper. So I speed up and we come up to the 4 way stop at an intersection. This intersection is weird in that it has 2 lanes. The lane on the right ends not far up ahead. So I know what this guy is going to do--I'm in the left lane, the correct lane to eventually continue. He gets in the right lane and doesn't really stop at the stop sign, he wants to fake a stop and get ahead of me. I, seeing this coming a mile away, give him a taste of his own medicine. I mimic his "rolling stop" and take off just as he is taking off (there was no other cars at the other 3 stop signs) staying ahead of him. Now, there is a car ahead of us, in my lane. This guy decides to gun it and barely gets ahead of the car in front of me. I had to slow down because the car in front was going a normal, slowish speed. But at least he didn't cut me off and if the car wasn't there, he would've had to get back in my lane behind me.
Wow, our Navy is really evil. Check this out.
This building has existed since 1967 and now thanks to Google Earth, some people are outraged. Due to complaints the Navy will spend $600,000 of your dollars to fix something that is completely meaningless and doesn't affect anybody.
The U.S. women's soccer team has been pummeled by Brazil, 4-0 in the World Cup semi-final. For this game, the goalie that had played in all the games of the World Cup was benched in favor of a veteran goalie who had played well against Brazil earlier in the summer. Not since whats-his-name (Red Sox manager) left Pedro in the game one inning too long in 2003 and the Sox blew their 3-0 lead in the playoffs has a player change been this controversial. Well, maybe not, since no one is paying the least bit attention to this.
10 p.m.
• Earlier today I went clothes shopping at Kohl's.The last time I bought more than one article of clothing at a time was several years ago, so I don’t do this often. However, I think I may start stopping in more often after having paid a visit to the clearance rack. I wanted to get a new interview outfit (or two), and I did at a great discount. I don’t consider myself a finicky shopper, but when it comes to clothes I really don’t like going anywhere else but Kohl’s or Sears. The brands comfortably fit and are worth the price once a sale starts up. Two dress pants, two belts, two dress shirts and a dress shirt/tie combo – about $115 total with a retail markup savings of $160. I’m sure all this actually cost about $5 to produce, but whatever. Like I said before, it fits and the quality is good.
Afterward, we got a new comforter for Mrs. kkk – at 30 percent off of course ($70 down from $100). She then asks me the question of the week, “Will this comforter be warm enough for you?” Uh, you’re the one that always bitches about being too cold. She then asked what size we should get – the king or queen. Having no clue what size we currently use, she said that the one currently on our be is a king, even though our bed is a queen size. I then opted for the king comforter. Christ, we fight over the covers enough as is – actually, it’s not much of a fight as it is her trying to push/loosen my grip on blankets during the middle of the night. I can’t imagine what carnage a smaller comforter would produce.
5 p.m.
• So yesterday I was driving home on the parkway and this truck was in front of me. The truck had some pipes/wood planks/something tied to the roof. Didn’t look too stable. Because of this I gave the truck some space between us. I was hoping this way in case something flew off at me I’d have enough time to react and get out of the way. Well, the driver behind me did the “OMG WTF” gesture. What is wrong with people. It’s not like I was going 30 mph. I was still going just over the speed limit – there was just a car length or two between me and this truck. I would have been more than happy to let this person go between us, and I would laugh when one of the planks flew threw his windshield and crushed his larynx.
7 a.m.
• So on the drive to work this morning I drove behind this care with the bumper sticker "I miss Clinton." Hey, I give credit where it's due –– it got a laugh out of me. However, I think the laugh was less about that bumper sticker than the new, catchy bumper sticker slogan I had just then thought up in my mind.
"I missed Clinton" with a sniper's scope replacing the dotted i's.
Then again, seeing how this family threatens to sue people that hang their daughter's picture up in a restaurant...
... if I actually produced this kind of ingenius hilarity and you don't read any new entries from me in a while, check for me at Ft. Marcy Park.
HBO is making a movie about the 2000 presidential election in Florida. So what's the over/under on how many days this will be premiered before the presidential election between Hillary and Guliani/Romney/Thompson?
3 p.m.
• Pirates got a new general manager. Why in the hell would ANYONE want to come here, unless that person is jobless to begin with.
• Oh there are so many jokes to be made with this I don’t know where to begin.
• Well, at least she’s not whipping out her tit and having the crumb-snatcher suck away during the test. Trust me, wait until you see a picture of her.
Actually, with the speed of our justice system, I'm surprised the kid's not 20 years old now.
8:45 p.m.
• I was never really a Britney Spears "hater," and it's pitiful to see what she has done to herself over the last few years. I also don't get this joke by Sarah Silverman at some award show she did.
Mistakes? If memory serves she squirted both out while married. Now granted the "mistake" was getting married and not getting ready to take on the challenges of parenthood. However, to call these two kids "mistakes" is just not funny. And this is ME who's saying this!
8:30 p.m.
• So I was reading one of my favorite threads -- 1000 Reasons Why ESPN Sucks -- and found this gem from a few days ago.
Well, Ol' Mikey sure can't call Vince a RACIST~! I was already a Vince Young fan. This only solidifies it even more.
2:45 p.m.
• Figures. The one job interview I actually wouldn’t have minded a “don’t call us we’ll call you” response from called me for a second round. Do I really want to do this? Sure I hate the assholes I work with, but I love what I do. How do I know that the work I do at another place will feel just as rewarding? How do I know this place’s management won’t be as bad or worse? Jesus, this is what Stockholm Syndrome must feel like to those abducted by the Mohammads of the world. Perhaps I can make my current situation work out. Perhaps there is a light to the end of this tunnel. Perhaps…
Hmm, what’s this? A CD-Rom full of stuff that I have to work on from the idiot boss is my mail slot. It wasn't there when I left work yesterday but was in there when I got in this morning. Oh, what’s this? The creation date for these files is dated more than 10 days ago. Oh, what’s this? An e-mail from a co-worker telling me the idiot wants to know when these will be finalized because they should have been done yesterday.
...
So my second interview is for Friday at 8:30 a.m.
9:45 p.m.
• Sonofabitch. I donated $10 for some fundraiser helping homeless animals, and this raffle was to use numbers from yesterday's "Big 4" state lottery. Two of my eight raffle numbers had "3" and "4" matching up, but that's it. Boo-urns.
• He wasn't checking out child porn. He was ... scouting.
• My God is the lip-synching for "Monday Night Football" terrible. The players introducing their teammates is so off.
1 p.m.
• Yeah, but we'll ask him the TUFF QUESTIONS!
Good God what a joke. I can only pray that this wacko is just scouting out the best spot in America to let off a nuke. Hey, Ahmad-whatever, there's some primo real estate over in Berkley if you're interested.
• Well, Toyota, expect to get a better market share after this gets played out.
The Cowboys looked damn good in crushing the Bears last night. Tony Romo looked like a top 3 quarterback once again in shredding the vaunted Chicago defense. With his performance last night, I have to finally admit that my crush on Romo and his awesome playmaking ability has turned into full blown man love. Romo can flat out play and anyone who was convinced that the botched snap in Seattle last year would ruin him has been proven wrong. Watch him any time he makes a mistake--he just shakes it off and goes out and does something to make up for it.
A few Cowboy thoughts:
- The defense is still shaky without Terence Newman fully healthy, but at least they finally had something resembling a pass rush last night. Maybe they're coming around.
- Patrick Crayton shouldn't be playing if his broken finger is going to prevent him from catching easy touchdowns, but with Sam Hurd showing some skill, his absence might not be as noticeable.
- Marion Barber is a beast. If only he had a little more speed.
- Ken Hamlin is a big upgrade over Keith Davis.
- The Leonard Davis signing isn't the "worst move of the offseason" as some pundits were saying. Yeah, he's overpaid but he's so much better than Marco Rivera's corpse was that it's worth the $$$.
- I still don't like T.O. and all the baggage he brings to a team, but at least he's catching the ball and making plays this year.
- Jason Witten is no longer the best kept secret in the NFL. Jeremy Shockey and Antonio Gates are good, but they ain't Jason Whitten.
- Terry Glenn isn't even playing yet. Once he gets back, look out.
- There's a decent chance the Cowboys and Patriots will be 5-0 when they meet Oct. 14 in Dallas. In the four years we've had Cowboys season tickets, I don't think I've ever been more excited about attending a particular game.
One thing: if my 23 years of experience rooting for the Cubs have taught me nothing else, I have learnved to never get too excited until the season plays itself out. But if you wanted me to make an argument that the Cowboys are not the class of the NFC at this point in time, I'd have a hard time doing so.
One note on the referees, Ron White and his crew from last night should be, if not outright fired, suspended for a couple of weeks. At the very least they should not collect their paychecks for this week. What a horribly officiated game. For all the blustering and cracking down that Roger Goodell is doing on everything else around the league, why are the referees allowed to continue to be this shitty without some real measure of discipline? Get on it, Commish.
For the two of you who liked the TSB entries I know I said I'd get around to finishing this month but doesn't look like that'll happen. I've been doing a ridiculous amount of overtime at work lately and my time on the board is spent working on my pick 'em contest. Also after next week I'll be working on my end of the season 2007 MLB Player Rankings for the blog so the TSB is just going to have to wait.
So we're down to 23 undefeated teams in I-A/FBS/Whatever football so obviously my "only rank unbeaten teams" goes out the window. But that being said, I still say give credit to all the unbeatens at this point so I'm including them all in my Top 25. Who cares UConn hasn't played anyone and will end up 6-6, what's the harm in giving them a No Prize this early in the season?
1. LSU
2. USC
3. Oklahoma
4. Florida
5. West Virginia
6. Boston College
7. Ohio State
8. Kentucky
9. California
10. Oregon
11. Texas
12. Wisconsin
13. Clemson
14. Rutgers
15. South Florida
16. Arizona State
17. Cincinnati
18. Missouri
19. Kansas
20. Purdue
21. Michigan State
22. South Carolina
23. Georgia
24. Hawaii
25. Connecticut
7 p.m.
• Oh for Christ's sake, they're going to be dead soon anyway. Let them enjoy their snacks.
“No, Mrs. Johnson. Don’t eat that pastry – we want you to live another 10 years just so we can change that many more diapers.”
Funny story: whenever my grandma was still alive (dad's side) and still had her wits about her, my old man would always sneak candy in for her. Hell, she had no teeth -- a piece of chocolate would keep her busy for hours.
12:30 p.m.
• More wedded bliss. It’s getting to be that time of year when the air conditioner and windows alternate. If it’s humid out, the AC comes on. If no, then we open all the windows. One problem is if the windows are open overnight, it could get hella cold in the morning, much to the chagrin of Mrs. kkk. When it gets time for bed, she always tells me to close the windows to the second floor of our house. I don’t know how this equates into a cold house, but whatever. Anyway, she bitched about it being cold this morning and that I didn’t close the upstairs windows (I didn’t). I then commented to her that our two bedroom windows were wide open. Surely THAT could have contributed somewhat to our chilly living quarters.
• Oh God. James Brown on the CBS pre-game NFL show just did this mini-editorial about how we all don't know what it's like to be Donovan McNabb until we've walked a mile in his shoes, or some shit like that. He added something about having an open dialogue with this shit. You all should know my opinion on this matter by now, so it's not worth rehashing it again.
• Speaking of racial harmony.
3:30 p.m.
• Time for Week 3's pickkks.
Arizona @ Baltimore (7.5)
The only reason I’m going with this is because the Cards coach is the former Steelers offensive coordinator and I’m hoping that he’s able to keep it somewhat close. Then again, I remember what happened last year when the Steelers played the Ravens. Oh, shit.
Buffalo @ New England (15.5)
Here’s hoping the Pats have a “fall-off” game to a divisional rival after clearing away the Chargers.
Detroit @ Philadelphia (6.5)
I just don’t see the Eagles going 0-3.
(6.5) Indianapolis @ Houston
I heard that one receiver for Houston is out.
Miami @ N.Y. Jets (3.5)
I’ll go with the Dolphins defense in this one. Does Miami even have a good defense. I have no clue. Then why did I just say that?
Minnesota @ Kansas City (2.5)
Young QB. At Kansas City. There’s going to be lots of runs.
(4.5) San Diego @ Green Bay
This should be interesting. I’m not convinced Green Bay is a playoff-caliber team … yet.
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
That spread just seems too big. I think the Steelers will win, but by single digits.
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
I’m not sure about this one, but I want to see St. Louis crash and burn because too many people were picking them to be a playoff team in the preseason.
Cincinnati @ Seattle (3.5)
The Bungles’ defense can’t get much worse than it was last week’s effort – could it?
Cleveland @ Oakland (3.5)
I’m hoping for the Browns to experience a “fallout” effect from last week’s win. That’s the only reason I’m picking Oakland with the points.
Jacksonville @ Denver (3.5)
Here’s hoping the Jacksonville running game has a good day.
(4.5) Carolina @ Atlanta
I’ve been burned on the Panthers a few times this year already. Perhaps this is their year to win the South, again.
N.Y. Giants @ Washington (4.5)
I’ll tell you what. I have no idea who that Redskins QB is, but I was impressed by him Monday night.
Dallas @ Chicago (3.5)
Both defenses are good, so I’m going with the better offense.
Tennessee @ New Orleans (4.5)
The Saints have stunk it up the first two games, but what about the home opener? Well, they could always win by 3.
I don't know what's worse: The fact I have to do 10 more of these or the fact I've already done 92 of them. Who's left? Who's gong to be placed where? Oh the drama...
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 10: Jobber of the Week
What I like about Jobber is that even though he’s for oodles of commie shit, he tends to be more sensible when the socialist utopias (or Michael Savage fans) creep up in his neighborhood. I wouldn’t consider Jobber a limousine liberal because a limo lib would want everyone to drive on solar-powered cars with lawn-mower engines while they fly around on private jets to and from trans-Atlantic weekend getaways. Jobber just doesn’t want the invaders to get driver’s licenses. And if he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks. Besides, he has posted many a picture that was worth 1,000 posts. This would be the point where I bust out the “Tecmo Bowl’d” graphic, but sadly it’s no more.
6:15 p.m.
• Uh-oh. Didn't we learn anything from the Mohammad cartoons from a while back?
Translation.
* Boy, what is your name?
- My name is Babu.
* It is customary to mention Muhammed before the name.
* What is your father’s name?
- Muhammed Abu
* What’s this in your lap?
- Muhammed cat
You know who really gets pissed when stuff like this happens? Yep.
Jihads for everybody.
6 p.m.
• Oh boy. Time for another crack-whore sister-in-law story. For those not keeping score at home, thanks to a lifetime of doing drugs and abusing alcohol, the crack-whore is now collecting disability and getting free health care, courtesy of our tax dollars. A few nights ago, the crack-whore visits my mother-in-law’s workplace begging for $50 so she can get a sling for her arm, which supposedly had something wrong with it. The mother-in-law kicks her out. The next day, the crack-whore comes in, her arm in a sling, and begs for $50 because her and her boyfriend need gas for the car. When the question of “I thought you needed $50 yesterday for a sling,” came up, the crack-whore’s one remaining brain cell went into overload. And the best thing about all this – she’s in her 40s~!
So the next time some left-wing faggot in Congress starts whining about DRACONIAN cuts against the POOR, just remember: If we don’t keep pouring more money into this Great Society of our, my crack-whore sister-in-law will be sling-less.
7:30 a.m.
• So I get lots of spam at work, and if I'm not being given sales pitches to claim millions in Nigeria then I am being told how I can enlarge my penis. I've shown some of these ads in the past, but once in a while you get a headline/message that's just as funny. Here's one from this morning:
8:30 p.m.
• So I had the interview today. Eh. The odd thing about this one is that when I was left I thought to myself, “You know, maybe I don’t hate my job all that much after all.” Then again, I don’t hate my job – I hate my dumb-ass management. Wasn’t my best performance, but wasn’t terrible either. One red flag that went up for me was when they said, “You’d be in charge of some hippie computer program and the consultant we’ve had for over a year is leaving in a few weeks.” Translation: We’re going to expect you to know just as much as a professional in the IT field and we’re going to pay you much less.
But here’s the best part: When I got home, I waited for Mrs. kkk to call me and let me know when I can pick her up from interviewing some crazy person at her job. She called. I drove. On the way home, she was making some smart-ass remark about how she has a “surprise” for me and I’ll never get it. Then the DJ on the rock radio station says the following:
“Don’t forget that comedian Ron White will be appearing at the Benedum Center October 6.”
Wow was she pissed.
• Here’s the difference between men and women: A few days ago the better half threw a shitfit because some pen exploded and she got ink on her ratty gray sweatshirt/jacket thing. You can even see the shit and she’s bitching. Today, I realized after my interview that my one pen blew up and got shit all over my hands and blue Wal-Mart t-shirt. My reaction? “Oh, so I didn’t need to try lick that stain because I thought it was my blue raspberry-flavored Go-gurt.”
Yes, I eat yogurt. I remember years ago my old man was bitching about my choice of snack, saying that this stuff isn’t healthy and contains all these chemicals and shit. My response: “I don’t care. I eat it because I like the taste.” My old man’s response: Nothing. Of course this is the same guy who freaks out over anything that isn’t wheat-grass juice. When I was a kid I remember he showed me this article about how something-or-other was bad for you and we were all going to die and the only thing you can eat nowadays is dirt. It was around the time of hazardous movie theater popcorn butter. Anyway, I grabbed a spoon and was ready to go outside when he asked, “Where are you going?” My response: “Out back in the yard for dinner.” Families.
Savage is trying to set differentiate himself from other Conservative radio hosts by taking the side of the U of Florida student who was tazed by the campus police at a John Kerry speech. He wants to be the "renegade independent Conservative" don't you know. In explaining his position he told a few untruths. Maybe he thought what he was saying was true, but I doubt it. That would make him a liar. Oh well, if the shoe fits. Here's what he said.
1. The kid was hand-cuffed when he was tased.
Wrong. They could not handcuff him due to his squirming and resisting.
2. The female officer tased him without warning.
Wrong. They warned him, telling him to stop resisting.
3. "They" cut off the mike during his allotted time because tase-boy was asking Kerry unsettling questions about Skull and Bones.
Wrong. The Q&A had been declared over and tase-boy interrupted and strated giving a speech and not obeying the rules of the Q&A. He would not stop yelling.
By the way, tase-boy's yelling "help! help me! they're arresting me!" during the event is eerily, hilariously, similar to a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. When King Arthur is riding along among a bunch of serfs and he drags Michael Palin off, who is protesting the fact that Arthur has declared himself King of the Britains because some "aquatic tart" handed him a sword. Palin yells out "Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! See the repression!"
One of my top fantasy babes from my younger days, Alicia Silverstone, wants us to go vegetarian. This article claims that Houston and Dallas-Fort Worth were chosen for the rollout of PETA’s latest campaign because we are perennially near the top of those fattest city surveys. Whatever.
I’ve never taken much of what PETA does seriously because they’re so over the top with how they choose to get their message out, but if Alicia Silverstone is getting naked for this particular cause, I’m willing to listen.
I tried accessing the video of the commercial from work and got a message saying it was blocked by our firewall. Apparently peta.org has been classified as "Advocacy Groups, Tasteless/Gross". I chuckled.
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This morning, on the door inside the men’s room on our floor, some joker posted a copy of an article that claims that 33% of men do not wash their hands after going to the bathroom (only 12% of women do not). This figure was obtained after “extensive observation of over 6,000 people in four major cities” over the past couple of months. Doctors everywhere are outraged at this news though I’m not sure why. I’ve seen tons of guys not wash their hands afterwards over the years that frankly I’m shocked it’s only at 33%.
Other “do not wash” findings (for both sexes) from the article:
44% after petting a cat or dog
39% after coughing/sneezing
56% after handling money
22% after changing diapers
9% before handling food
I’ll admit that I’m often guilty on the petting cat/dog and handling money charges and even sometimes on the coughing/sneezing, but I rarely touch food with unclean hands. The diaper changing thing doesn’t apply to me since I have and will continue to do anything necessary to avoid that chore, but who are the nasty bastards that make up that 22%?
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Finally, a big “CONGRATULATIONS” is due my company’s management. It took some hard work, but they found another little perk to yank away from us when we were least expecting it.
Last week, it was announced that our on-site fitness center is closing at the end of the year. The company-sponsored discount membership program we have had with the YMCA is also being canned. The reason given is “cost considerations.”
Apparently, management is contending that the member base isn’t big enough to support the ongoing costs of the fitness center. One well-placed source told me that our real estate group claims to have “many studies” that show each member would have to pay out an extra $5,000 a year in order for the center to break even. If that’s true, then I need to polish the ol’ resume because this company is going to be led into bankruptcy by a bunch of idiots that clearly have no idea how to manage money. The fitness center is small in size and has a grand total of four company employees (as opposed to expensive outside contractors) on staff and is housed in a building on a campus this company has owned outright for over 30 years. There is simply no way the it is that expensive to operate.
One of the members started a “save the fitness center” petition and posted it at the check-in desk there. Management found out and ordered that the petition be scrapped immediately or there could be consequences for creating disharmony in the work environment. Hmmm. Would that be the same sort of disharmony they created when they suddenly decided to close the fitness center for questionable reasons?
