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Review: WWF Monday Night Raw, 4/7/97, from Muncie, Indiana.

Let's see if RAW will be as good as Nitro. ___________________ A recap of Mankind's actions last week is aired first, and then, the intro to the show. Remember, Mankind lit a fireball in Undertaker's face. Commentators this week are Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, and the Honky Tonk Man. Half the roster is overseas. The other half is what you'll see tonight. The first match is a non-title tag team match (why non-title?), with Owen Hart and the British Bulldog facing the Godwinns. Before the match, Owen says that he's thankful for Bret Hart, and when Shawn Michaels has his interview later, he better not have anything bad to say about his brother. Henry starts the match off with a press slam that gets 2, OHHEGOTHIMNOHEDIDN'T. Henry slams Phineas onto Owen, and after the Hart Foundation members retreat, Owen gets an armwringer and tags Bulldog in. Phineas gives Bulldog a hiptoss, and sorta freaks out, making the Harts retreat. I have no idea what that was about, but at the same time, the picture went into splitscreen mode, with Shawn Michaels on the other side. Of course, he didn't have much to say. Owen gives Phineas a spinning heel kick as he gets back into the ring, then Phineas gets a backslide for 2. It's hard to describe the action, just picture it in slow motion. An Owen enziguri gets 2, and we go to a commercial break. Back from the break, Henry gets tagged in, and slams both men. Split screen with LOD, as Henry gives Bulldog a slop drop, but the referee's not paying attention. Owen comes off the top rope with a double axhandle onto Henry, and puts Bulldog on top of Henry for the cover and victory, at 7:11. 1/4*, junk. LOD make their way to the ring, and the Godwinns slop them on accident. Is that how the Godwinns turn heel? ___________________ Owen and Bulldog are in the promo area, and they enlighten us with reasons why America is a joke, namely referring to the Godwinns slopping LOD. Steve Austin happens to wander by, and he looks pissed off. Anyway, it's his match coming up right now, Steve Austin vs. Billy Gunn. Austin beats up Gunn, then backdrops him, as the match starts. He dumps Gunn to the outside, and chokes him on the top rope on Gunn's way back in. He rams Billy's arm into the ringpost, and applies an armbar, before Billy gives him a neckbreaker. Austin stomps a mudhole in Gunn, and kicks him in the nuts. Stone Cold gives the referee two middle fingers (crowd liked that), and goes up to the top rope. Billy shakes the ropes so Austin gets crotched, and gives Austin a middle finger, which is blurred out by the censors, just like the last one. Gay. Gunn misses a clothesline and that's it, kick, STUNNER at 6:08. Not very good, and distinctly different from Austin's matches after the neck injury at Summerslam 1997. 1/2*, Honky Tonk Man comes into the ring and tells Gunn that he believes in him, and will fix him up. However, Billy Gunn punches his lights out. Gunn wants no part of that. ___________________ Shawn Michaels interview was filled with a lot of shootish comments, but nothing we don't know now. It was probably groundbreaking at the time, but in hindsight, it came off as boring. Shawn talks about sucking up your problems backstage in order to give the fans a show, which is such hypocritical bullshit for a guy that's gotten out of jobbing titles at the rate he has. He says Bret's reason for his return was horseshit, and Bret played the WWF and a "rival organization" in order to get paid as much as possible. There's truth in that. Shawn says the WWF did the best business with him as champ that they did in 6 years previous. LOL. I like Shawn as a wrestler, but he has no business making comments like this. Anyway, the interview got boring, just like Bret's interview a week or two ago. Owen and Bulldog make their way to the ring, but Shawn grabs a chair, so we don't get to see a fight. Pretty much a pointless segment, I suppose. ___________________ Warzone time. The Headbangers have a match against Barry Horowitz and Freddie Joe Floyd. Horowitz has a Star of David on his trunks. Does it make me a bad person to have laughed at that? This match goes about 4:14, and the Headbangers win it after a Mosh powerbomb leads to a Thrasher legdrop off the top rope. It was a DUD, so I just made it easier on myself. ___________________ Ken Shamrock vs. Vernon White in an exhibition fight, and I won't give a full review, because worked "shoot" fights, especially this one, aren't very good. Vince McMahon plugs UFC's next PPV before the fight, which is something I guarantee you wouldn't see now. Shamrock wins via ground and pound at 1:57, after White kicked him in the gut. Vince McMahon says, this fight was supposed to be an exhibition, but White took it further than that. I don't know how, or if the blood was real at all, but there was blood everywhere after the ground-n-pound by Shamrock. Vader comes to the ring, does his WHO'S DA MAN thing, and confronts Shamrock. The usual officials come to the ring in order to prevent a scrum, and there's Pat Patterson, with a cigarette in his ear. Hello Pat! ___________________ To follow up on Vader's appearance, he came to the ring, along with Paul Bearer, because Vader's facing Frank Stilleto. Vader does what he usually does to jobbers, and that's beat the shit out of them. He gives Stilleto a release german suplex, then pounds on his face. Splitscreen to Mankind, and he says he'll be at the ring soon. Vader gives Stilleto two VADER BOMBS, and a powerbomb, which leads to a Vader pinfall victory at 2:15. *. ___________________ Gorilla explains the situation for what was supposed to be a Sid v. Mankind match later, and it's that Sid just isn't there. He bailed out on the company, really. Stone Cold comes into the picture after Gorilla says that Austin will have to face Mankind. It's surreal to see Austin cussing up a storm at Gorilla, what with Gorilla being the obvious link to old time wrestling on the show, and all. Austin says he'll face Mankind if he gets to face Bret Hart at Revenge of the Taker. Gorilla gives in, and says Austin can have what he wants. ___________________ Mankind comes to the ring, and explains why he burned Undertaker. He wanted Taker to know what it was like to burn, cause Mankind already knows what it's like. He somewhat references the Deathmatch Tournament in Japan, but not by name, and how he had to fly home with the smell of burnt flesh bothering everyone around him. He gets in a subtle dig at the salary of Marc Mero, by saying he's sick of getting paid less than pretty boys who open the show. Heh. Mankind says it COULD be his last match, but if it is, it'll be Taker's too. He made himself a reservation for a bed at the hospital in Rochester, but he did the same for Taker. Taker's music sounds, and his voice echoes through the arena. Hell hath no fury like the Undertakers, Mankind will know what it's like to burn for eternal damnation, blah blah blah. Pretty good segment. ___________________ Now, Mankind w/Paul Bearer stays in the ring, waiting for Steve Austin to arrive so they can have their match. Blow-by-blow: Austin comes to the ring, but the crowd gives him very little pop. What's up with that? Austin and Mankind brawl on the outside, and Austin suplexes Mankind on the entrance ramp. Mankind gets a clothesline, and then is tossed into the stairs by Austin. Mankind chokes him, and then legdrops Austin on the ring apron. We go splitscreen with Owen Hart, and he calls Sid a "gutless coward." Good job of explaining the situation, Owen. Mankind whips Austin into the guardrail, and grabs a steel chair. He's unable to hit Austin with it, and Austin drops him onto the guardrail. Austin comes off the ring apron with a double axhandle, which, like I said, is far different than the type of things he'd be doing in the ring a year later. The style he's wrestling here doesn't fit the character. He clotheslines Mankind, but gets put into the bell table afterward. Finally the combatants come inside the ring, and Austin tackles Mankind, then punches him. He kicks Mick in the gut, and gets a back elbow for two. Austin goes to the chinlock, and Bulldog and Owen make an appearance in the crowd. Austin breaks the hold, and tells them to come on down. commercial break As we come back, we get a vignette for the upcoming PPV. Not a big deal. Mankind can't suplex Austin in, so he chokes Austin on the top rope. During the break, Mankind hit Austin with a chair. Mankind goes to the chinlock, and during the hold, you can see Austin holding his hands up so he can call a spot. If I wasn't smartened up, I never would've noticed. Austin breaks the hold, but misses an elbowdrop. Mankind gives him another legdrop on the apron, and Mankind peels back the padding on the floor. Mankind gives Austin a Cactus style elbow off the apron, and an eye rake afterward. Mankind attempts to piledrive Austin on the ramp, but gets pushed off the ramp, HARD, into the guardrail. No wonder this guy has brain damage. The two wrestlers get in the ring again, and Owen and Bulldog have decided to make their way down from the crowd. The Legion of Doom join them at ringside, and chase the Hart Foundation members. Austin gives Mankind a clothesline while this is happening, then stomps a mudhole in Mankind. Vader comes out to help Mankind, but hits him instead. The bell sounds at 11:10, denoting a no-contest. Vader and Mankind fight, but Uncle Paul gets them to stop. **1/2. That's the end of the show. ___________________ Rating: Poor. If not for the Austin/Mankind match, the show would have been completely forgettable. Best Match: Obviously, Austin vs. Mankind. Worst Match: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs. The Godwinns. Loudest Sound: Shawn Michaels, then Vader and Shamrock's confrontation. No Sound: The Headbangers and Billy Gunn. Jobbers don't really count. ___________________ Nitro wins this battle. Better matches, and it was more consistent throughout the course of the show. It was to be expected though, with half the roster being overseas, the show was bound to suck.

November 10, 2007

Keiper's Pit

Politics and the SWB Yankees

http://www.wnep.com/Global/story.asp?S=7338739" target="_blank">http://www.wnep.com/Global/story.asp?S=7338739 Thank god Cordaro lost. Him and his Yankee-loving attitude can go fuck themselves. Instead of the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons, I now have the Yankees and their corporate interests grubbing every penny, catering to the well heeled and providing no excitement or incentives in return. The Yankees provided NO giveaway items this year. The atmosphere is completely dead, and the ONLY selling point is that these are the AAA Yankees. The history in Lackawanna County is that the commissioners tend to stick their noses in the baseball team for publicity. In this case, Cordaro has negotiated a deal where an outside entity can buy the team. If they do, there is nothing stopping that entity from then moving the team. Which is likely, because Scranton is NOT in a class with Buffalo, Louisville or Columbus as far as cities go. The Lehigh Valley IronPigs open up next season. They may be the lowly Phillies and not the mighty Yankees. But their management provides baseball for the FAN.

EVIL~! alkeiper

November 10, 2007

11/9: 9 p.m.

9 p.m. • My one local RIGHT-WING RADIO host had a field day with this story today. You know who I feel for? The people that weren't deemed "qualified" for this public works job (which probably pays twice my salary) and got passed over for the "best candidate." 8:15 p.m. • Another work story. No, I’m not going to bitch about anything. My co-worker has a near out-of-control teen step-daughter that is on the early path to crack-whoredom just like my out-of-control niece-in-law. Now my co-worker goofs of me because I treat my cats like kids. Too bad. Yeah, I know I’m a psycho, but at least I don’t dress them up in costumes for Halloween or take them to get pictures taken with Santa at the mall. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, every time he talks about his kid I then talk about the hardships of raising my three kids. Example: Him: Beth called the wife at 11 p.m. last night and was throwing a fit because ever since she moved in with her father he hasn’t been driving her anywhere she wants to go. Me: JJ took a poop and ran up and down the steps for five minutes like a psycho. I've been doing this for about a week now, and so far it's Cats: 9, Kid: 0. Oh, and speaking of my out-of-control niece-in-law, from what I hear she’s fucking 50-years-olds for crack and broke into her crack-whore mother’s apartment (paid for by the taxpayer), beat her up and stole $100. She also has two warrants out for her arrest because she doesn’t show up for court dates. • LOL – Savage is having a field day with these anti-Iraq movies that aren’t doing so well at the box office.

November 10, 2007

South Park, Phil, Clinton stiffs

South Park's new episode wednesday did not disappoint. While Randy was not in the ep as much as I thought he would be, it was great nonetheless. Stan and Kyle play "Guitar Hero", score 100,000 points, and ultimately get dissed by the game in a homophobic finale. Randy had not one, but two classic tighty whitey moments, which has become his trademark. Phil Hendrie's new show continues to be very good. He has kept the loony "guests" but has dispensed with taking calls from real people. Fine by me, the real callers were boring anyway. He has pissed off many of his fans for doing this and also pissed them off for his pro-Iraq war, pro-Bush stances. They just can't stand that he has these views--of course they had no problem with him when he expressed his very liberal views on his old show, pre-9/11. Besides, he still has a lot of liberal views, but the war thing tends to dominate. Anyway, you go Phil, you're awesome. Clinton stiffs waitress. No, no, Hillary....not Bill. Or did she? http://blogs.usatoday.com/onpolitics/2007/...of-the-tip.html The only thing about this story that has any relevance is that media outlets are using the word "waitress". I thought this word was outmoded, outdated, and otherwise sexist. I guess it's ok since she is from Iowa, and well, you know, those folks out there aren't as sophisticated as the rest of the country.

November 9, 2007

How To Vibrate

Best stories in Music begins with #12 & #11

Yeah, it's 12 moments instead of 10 now. Let's get this started. 12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage Back in the old school days of hip hop (when else?) 2 Live Crew were pretty controversial. One night in a concert in Japan, Luther Campbell (I think it was him at least) shouts out "Give Me a Blowjob!" The rest, as they say, is history, as a group of girls were more than willing to do so. Honorable mention: Suge Knight and Tupac beat up a guy, and make him drink Pac's piss. 11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children. Hawkins (mostly known for the song "I Put a Spell On You", claimed to be father of many illegitimate children. So, was he? Well, at least 12 of them showed up for a reunion, though he claimed without much exaggeration or joking that he was father to 57 kids. That is...something else. That's a lot of bastards.

Gary Floyd

November 9, 2007

Review: WCW Monday Nitro, 4/7/97, from Huntsville, Alabama.

It's the greatest night in the history of our sport! ___________________ First up, as usual, WCW shows the ending of the PPV which took place on the day before Nitro, when it applies. At Spring Stampede, Randy Savage wanted to slap Kimberly, but wound up doing that to Eric Bischoff instead. After a bit of still photos from the DDP/Savage match the night before, we begin the action with Alex Wright and Psychosis vs. Hugh Morrus and Konnan. Alex avoids Morrus' wild punches, and Morrus does the same when Wright attempts a springboard moonsault. A leg lariat by Wright gets a 1 count, and Psychosis tags in. Konnan tags in, and gives Psychosis a running clothesline. Psychosis gets a superkick and flying headscissor, then a spinning heel kick from the top rope. He goes up again, and corkscrew moonsaults onto Morrus, who's out on the floor. We go to a split screen view, and DDP has arrived at the arena. Konnan gets a powerbomb for 2 on Psychosis, and Morrus comes in and powerslams Psychosis. He goes up to the 2nd rope and misses an elbowdrop, finally, Alex Wright tags in. A missile dropkick by Wright follows, and a dropkick comes after that. He armdrags Morrus, and goes up top for a crossbody, which gets 2. Morrus gives him a swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere, and goes up for No Laughing Matter, which gets his team the victory at 5:04. **, decent opener. ___________________ Right out of the commercial break, we have Lord Steven Regal vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. Sounds good. The bell rings almost immediately, so Regal gives Mysterio a stiff European uppercut. He waves to the crowd, then gives Mysterio a flapjack. Regal's arrogance is amusing, to say the least. He drops Mysterio on the guardrail from a fireman's carry position, and we go to a FULLSCREEN shot of Hogan arriving. He's so special, he can't just have half the screen. He has to be on the whole thing. Back to the match, and Regal's choking Rey with his boot. Regal goes for an underhook powerbomb, but Rey armdrags him in the middle of the move. A springboard dropkick by Rey puts Regal out of the ring, and as Regal comes into back into the ring off the top rope, Mysterio gives him a flying headscissor. Neat. Rey's springboard hurricanrana gets a 2 count, and Regal gives him a reverse suplex. Now there's a move I haven't seen in a long time. The Regal Stretch is applied, and once Rey reaches the ropes, Regal won't break the hold. Needless to say, Regal gets DQ'd, at 4:33. Prince Iaukea runs to the ring and tries to attack Regal, and HE gets put in the Regal Stretch. Regal keeps the hold applied for a long time, until a couple referees make him break it. **. The rest of the NWO arrives, namely Savage, Kevin Nash, Fake Sting, Syxx, Elizabeth and Buff Bagwell. Teasing tension, I see. ___________________ After a break, we're treated to the presence of Dennis Rodman, at the premiere of the movie, Double Team. Rodman looks really gay right here. Chris Benoit v. Ice Train. I'll say this, once Benoit's career gets out of the point where he's squashing people on Nitro, and to the point where he's facing important wrestlers, his matches should be shown. But stuff like this, I don't care. Now, we have Kevin Sullivan w/Jacqueline and Jimmy Hart facing Hector Guerrero. Sullivan beats the shit out of Hector over the whole match, and Jacqueline does too. Sullivan stomps on Hector, which finishes the match at 2:48. 1/2* for Jacqueline's involvement. ___________________ The NWO makes their way down to the ring, but they're separated in two groups. Fake Sting is the only one that switched groups from before, it's Hogan, DiBiase, fake Sting, Bischoff and Vincent, and the rest are the ones that arrived with Savage and Nash. Mostly the B-teamers. Billionaire Ted has the mic, and says if you're in the NWO, you're in 4 LIFE. There shouldn't be any problems, he says. To save space, Hogan wonders where Scott Hall is, Nash says Hall is NWO 4 LIFE; Savage and Bischoff bury the hatchet, in regards to their problems at Spring Stampede, and that's the end of the segment. Ghey. ___________________ It's HOUR #2~!!!~!~!~!~!~!~! That means Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan replace Larry Zbyszko at the commentary table, see. Mean Gene invites Ric Flair out to join him, both Flair and Roddy Piper are ready to fight the NWO, and they'll do it at Slamboree, with Kevin Greene as their partner. WCW PPV's were so weaksauce. Hogan didn't have a PPV match from Uncensored to Bash at the Beach. That's 3 PPV's without the champion wrestling, and since the title wasn't defended from Superbrawl to Road Wild, 5 PPV's without a title defense. Lame. ___________________ In a US Title match, the challenger, Chris Jericho will take on the champion, Dean Malenko. A precursor to what would become just a year later, for sure. The opening sequence is sweet, not too sweet, just sweet. Dean tries a hiptoss but can't get it, but his rollup gets 2. Jericho gets an enziguri and spinning heel kick, which puts Dean on the ring apron. Jericho springboards out with a crossbody, and on the inside, gives Dean a missile dropkick. Jericho backslides Malenko for 2, but afterward, Malenko gives him a powerbomb. That's what I'm TALKIN' ABOUT. He goes for the Texas Cloverleaf, but Jericho grabs the bottom rope. Jericho misses a charge to the corner, but gets a superplex. Dean rams Jericho's head into the ringpost, and then kicks him in the face, as Jericho sells a "broken nose." Dean pins him and retains his title, at 3:00. Strange finish, but these two did really well with the time they were given. *3/4. ___________________ The Public Enemy vs. High Voltage is next, and this match is a revenge match, as a result of what happened two weeks ago. If you want to see, look HERE. Both teams brawl, and the Public Enemy get the best of it after a double backdrop and double suplex. Rage pulls down the top rope, which puts Rocco Rock out of the ring, but Rocco comes back in quickly, and gets shoulderblocked for a 2 count. Kaos tags in, and Rocco gives him a swinging neckbreaker. Not-so-hot tag Grunge, so Grunge clotheslines everyone, then slams Rage. It's TABLE TIME, but Grunge misses a splash of Kaos, as Kaos gets out of the way. Grunge pretty much flew through that table. Rage gives Rocco a northern lights suplex, which finishes the bout at 3:06! Wow. High Voltage beat them twice. That's a surprise. *, after the bout, the Public Enemy say that they want to face High Voltage in a Philadelphia Streetfight next week. Unfortunately, we won't see it, as Nitro and RAW are going to be skipped. The Public Enemy are "going to take it to...the EXTREME." If I were Paul Heyman, I would have used that as an opportunity to get some cash out of Ted Turner. After the commercial break, we see that Prince Iaukea's ribs are hurt. He still has to defend the Television Title! ___________________ Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri are supposed to face Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael w/Debra, but Mongo isn't there. HANDICAP MATCH. Booker gives Jarrett a shoulderblock, and Jarrett comes back with an armdrag and hiptoss. Stevie Ray comes in to stop that, and chokes Jarrett. He gives Jarrett a falldown slam, and once Jarrett gets up, he dropkicks both men, then does that gay dance of his. Booker gives Jarrett a Harlem Sidekick, and since it occured to me at that point of the match...was there anyone on this planet that thought Jarrett and Booker would become WCW Champions? By that, I mean, in 1997, could anyone believe that would occur? I know, since it was WCW post-1998 it doesn't really count, but still. Stevie comes in with a legdrop, and gets a 2 count. A Booker forearm gets 2, and a scoop slam follows. Booker gives Jarrett a scissor kick, but no SPINAROONIE! and tags Stevie in. Stevie gives Jarrett an axe kick, but only gets 2. A Jarrett small package gets 2, and Harlem Heat give him a double suplex for his trouble. Sherri punches Jarrett a few times, then Booker crotches himself on the top rope after a Harlem Sidekick attempt. Stevie comes in and suplexes Jarrett, then Mongo grants us with his presence. What a swell fellow. He tags in and chopblocks Harlem Heat. Mongo shows us how great of a man he is, by tagging Jarrett into the match as Jarrett's out of gas. Booker gives Jarrett a Harlem Sidekick, and gets the 3 count, at 9:02. 3/4*, wasn't very good. Gene Okerlund interviews Mongo, at which point Mongo rambles about a whole lot of nothing, pretty much stating that he's out for himself. Like I said, he's a great guy. ___________________ On The Road with Lee Marshall. Gay. Anyway, here's the TV Title match, The Ultimate (they were still calling him this) Dragon w/Sonny Onoo vs. the champ, Prince Iaukea. Iaukea gets a small package for 2, as that's pretty much all he can do. Remember, his ribs. A backslide gets two, then Dragon kicks him in the ribs a whole bunch. He slams Iaukea and goes up top, but eats the bare foot of Iaukea. Prince chops him, and Dragon gives him a few more kicks. Sensing victory, Dragon pins Iaukea at 2:03, and we have a new Television Champion. Congrats on your first TV Title, Ultimate Dragon. I'm not a fan of him, btw. 1/2*. ___________________ See, the Giant and Scott Steiner were supposed to have a match, but that evil Mexican, Konnan and the crazy guy, Hugh Morrus attacked Steiner in the aisleway. Morrus hit Giant with a chair, but it didn't do anything. No match. ___________________ DDP comes out for a promo, says he's an anomaly, and explains the meaning of the word. Yeah, pretty much. He wants Savage, and Savage hobbles down toward the ring. Hollywood Hogan stops him though, and says he, and the NWO will take care of Page. "Don't lose your shades, we'll handle it." Savage can sit back and watch. IT'S STING! He comes out of the rafters with two baseball bats, and tosses one to DDP. He climbs in the ring with Page, and honestly, I would have finished the Savage/Page thing at Spring Stampede, and had Page attack Sting here, giving Sting even more reason to stay a loner. I wouldn't have had DDP join the NWO, though, I would have had him program with The Giant for a while, and once Sting beat Hogan, would have had Sting get his revenge on DDP. That's just fantasy booking. What really happens is, the announcers proclaim that DDP has a friend, and that's the end of the show. ___________________ Rating: Good. There were good matches, albeit short, throughout, and Sting made an appearance. Not only that, but Hogan made his first appearance after a couple week absence. That, and a title change, are grounds for a good rating. After all, it's a TV show, so they should be held to different standards than a PPV or MSG show. Best Match: Alex Wright and Psychosis vs. Konnan and Hugh Morrus. Although Rey vs Regal was enjoyable, this had a clean finish. Thus, better. Worst Match: Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett (mostly) and Mongo McMichael. Loudest Sound: NWO and Sting. Duh. Outside of that, Ric Flair and The Giant. No surprises here, the crowd pretty much cheers everyone in WCW. Rarely do people get booed. No Sound: Prince Iaukea and High Voltage. Again, no surprises. ___________________ RAW's next.

November 9, 2007

11/8: One Of The Worst Entries You Can Post For A Muslim Male

8:30 p.m. • Wow, this is just like my "One of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male," only this person did actual research and stuff. Go to the site yourself and click on the links for each story. 8:15 p.m. • I heard this on the radio this morning. After doing a quick rundown, I concluded that I could see the Steelers being Number 2. I thought about who would be Number 1, and I was correct (Green Bay). However, Number 3 surprised me -- Cleveland. Cleveland? Now I don't go to NFL games, but my guess would have been Seattle. Then again, the last time I went to a professional football game was in 1993.

November 9, 2007

Review: WWF from Madison Square Garden, 12/28/90.

I looked on thehistoryofwwe.com, and saw that this card looked pretty good. So, here. Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary. ___________________ The first match is Koko B. Ware vs. Black Bart...for whatever reason, I haven't seen Bart in the WWF before. Frankie, Koko's parrot, comes along with him. Blow-by-blow: We start things up with a lock-up, and Bart attempts to knock Koko's head off with a punch, but misses. Koko takes Bart over with an armwringer, but Bart reaches the ropes. Koko applies a hammerlock, but again, Bart gets the ropes. Koko gives Bart two hiptosses and a dropkick, so Bart bails out of the ring. Bart wants a TEST OF STRENGTH, Koko complies, and in doing so, after winning the test of strength, steps on Bart's hand. Koko dropkicks him, but after a few right hands, Bart chokes Koko with his boot. Bart tosses Koko onto the top prope for 2, and applies the CHINLOCK. Bart gives Koko a knee to the gut for 2, and reapplies the CHINLOCK. Koko punches Bart in the head, and both men go down. Bart with a bodyslam, but he misses an elbowdrop. Koko can't slam him, and Bart falls on top for a 2 count. Bart misses a charge into the corner, and they begin the ending sequence. Koko gets a roll-up for a 2 count, and a suplex for 2. Then, Koko gets a small package for 2, but afterwards, Bart chokes him. He scratches Koko on the back, and Koko delivers a running headbutt to Bart. Koko with a missile dropkick and he gets a BRAINBUSTER for 3, at 10:08. Match Analysis: I always thought the Ghostbuster was like an X-Factor, but a BRAINBUSTER? Wish I had known that before. Anyway, the match was **. Solid opener, probably as good as it could have been. ___________________ Next up, we have The Warlord vs. Jimmy "SUPERFLY" Snuka. I don't care for Jimmy's music. To make a simple observation, Snuka's fall from 1983 to 1990 was a hard one. From steel cages with Don Muraco to opening with the Warlord. Damn, he was 47 at this point. That's hard to believe, even though it's the truth. Explains a lot... Blow-by-blow: Warlord attacks Snuka from behind, then chokes him, as the bell rings. Snuka's offense consists of chops and headbutts, just so you know what you're in for. That's what he does, and he also tries a crossbody here. He can't get that, as he's caught and slammed to the canvas by the Warlord. Warlord misses an elbowdrop, so Snuka headbutts him. Snuka brings the action toward the corner, and chops Warlord in the neck a few times. Unfortunately for Snuka, Warlord gives him an inverted atomic drop. THE SUPERFLY gets clotheslined, and choked by the Warlord. Warlord follows that with a boot to the head of Snuka that knocks Snuka out of the ring; Warlord joins Snuka on the outside and slams Snuka into the ringpost. Warlord suplexes Snuka back into the ring, and gives him an elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Warlord gives Snuka a bearhug, a move that will certainly affect my enjoyment of this match. It was going swell, until that. Anyhow, Snuka headbutts Warlord in order to break the hold, and gives him a headbutt off the top rope for 2. Standing headbutt, not diving. Snuka with more chops and headbutts, but Warlord catches him off an irish whip and hotshots him. Warlord chokes Snuka along the top rope at 8:29, and gets disqualified because he won't break the hold. That's one of the lamest finishes, ever. Anyway, Snuka chops Warlord out of the ring after the match. The end. Match Analysis: That was probably one of the best one-on-one matches the Warlord has ever had. No, I'm not kidding, as it's surely the best one I'VE seen. *1/4. After all that, the Gobbledygooker comes out and struts around ringside, after which he does a dosey-do with Howard Finkel. Ugh. ___________________ Here's what I was watching the show for, The Rockers vs. Power and Glory. Blow-by-blow: Hercules is swinging the CHAIN in the ring, but one of the Rockers distracts him by attacking Roma, and it's on like Donkey Kong. The Rockers get the best of the brawl after a double superkick, and after Roma and Hercules huddle up, Roma starts the match with Jannetty. Roma rams Marty's head into the buckle, then Irish whips Marty into the ropes, at which point Marty tries a sunset flip. Roma tries to punch Marty, but misses, so his hand hits the canvas. Marty works his way around Roma, and tags Shawn. Shawn gives Roma an inverted atomic drop, then goes toward the turnbuckle for the 10 punch. Hercules tries to sneak up behind Shawn, but Shawn leaps off Roma and gives Hercules a crossbody. That was cool. Marty slingshots Shawn into both heels, and after they double superkick both heels, Power and Glory bail to the outside. The Rockers get booed a little, this being Madison Square Garden and all. Hercules comes in quickly with a clothesline, and kicks Shawn in the head. Power and Glory double team Shawn with the ref distracted, and afterwards while Shawn is running the ropes, Roma trips him. The heels double team Shawn again, then Hercules gives Shawn an elbow to the head. Roma beats up Shawn with the referee distracted, then Hercules misses a charge toward the corner. Marty tags in, and comes off the top rope with a double axhandle. Shawn tags in and does the same, and Hercules receives a double back elbow from the Rockers. Marty rams Herc's face into the canvas, then takes him over with an armdrag. Marty applies a short-arm scissor, as the Rockers begin to work over the arms of both their opponents. They armdrag Roma and Hercules a whole bunch, and after the last armdrag of that sequence, Shawn tags in as Marty gives Roma a droptoehold, and Shawn gives him an elbowdrop for 2. Shawn with another armdrag as he tags in Marty, and they both work over Roma's arm, then chop him. Marty with the last armdrag of the match, and as Marty runs the ropes a bit after, Hercules clobbers him in the back of his head. Hercules tags in and rams Marty's head into the turnbuckle, then gives Roma a turn at doing the same. He can't though, and Marty clotheslines him while coming out of the corner. Shawn tags in, and gives Roma a back elbow. While running the ropes, Hercules pulls down the top rope, which sends Shawn to the outside. I've noticed that Power and Glory are both fond of those sorts of spots. Roma rams Shawn's back into the apron after Hercules distracts the referee, and for whatever reason, the crowd isn't particularly fond of this match. I don't know why, it's really good. Roma gives Shawn a bodyslam outside the ring, then on the inside, Hercules whips Shawn into the buckle, and Shawn goes upside down. Hercules poses, and then gives Shawn a bearhug. Shawn won't quit, but Herc brings him toward his corner. Guess he wants to beat him into submission, harharhar. Hercules sets Shawn on the top rope for either a superplex or POWERPLEX, but as he goes up, the 2nd rope breaks. Dunno whether that was intentional or not. It's BIZAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRE. Hot tag Marty, and Marty gives Roma a back elbow and kneelift. Roma misses a charge toward Marty, and a Marty clothesline gets 2. Hercules tosses Shawn out, and Marty gives Hercules a small package. Roma turns it over to put Herc on top, and then Shawn does the same to put Marty on top. The Rockers get a 2 count, then double slam Hercules. The Rockers get a ROCKET LAUNCHER, but during the count, the bell rings, at 21:16. It's a timelimit draw. Boo. Both teams fight after the bell, but Power and Glory retreat. They throw a few chairs into the ring, but the Rockers avoid them, then sit down in them Match Analysis: Very, very good. Not as good as Rockers/Orient Express from Rumble '91, but still good. ***1/4, and I added a 1/4 because the rope fell off. Just because I can, and it was definitely good enough to warrant it. The fans should have been ashamed, there was little pop for a very good match. ___________________ Here's a pissbreak match, Greg Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. Saba Simba. HEY, THAT'S TONY ATLAS! Blow-by-blow: What fool wouldn't know it was Tony in the first place? I think the internet rumor about that being the reason Saba Simba didn't last long is bunk. Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Anyway, Simba pushes Valentine to the canvas, and armdrags him. Valentine chops Simba, but misses an elbowdrop. Simba chops back, and gives Valentine an UGLY heel kick. It was like Booker T's scissor kick, but Atlas just tapped Valentine with his heel and didn't go to the canvas. Awful. Valentine bails to the outside, and back inside, applies a chinlock. Simba gives Valentine a shoulderblock, but afterwards, is dumped to the outside. Simba comes back in the ring quickly, and clotheslines Valentine. The Hammer regains control, and works on Simba's leg. He tries to slam Simba, but can't. Simba is already blown up, 5 minutes in, if that at all. Just terrible. Valentine goes to a sloppy bow-and-arrow, which confirms my suspicion. Simba is just lying there. Valentine goes for the figure-four, but Simba kicks him away. Out of respect for Atlas, I call him Simba. It's easier to type than Atlas, for some reason. Valentine gives Simba an elbow, and a fistdrop for 2. Simba chops Valentine, then rams his head into 3 turnbuckles. Valentine gets headbutted, and after the two combatants lock up, Valentine pushes the referee for some reason. So, Simba wins by DQ, at 8:28. Valentine holds Simba in place for Jimmy Hart to hit Simba with the guitar, but instead, he hits Valentine on accident. I think Valentine was bleeding before the guitar shot, but anyhow...Valentine's pissed off. Hart begs Greg not to hit him, then runs away. This was probably the loudest part of the entire show. Match Analysis: Awful. -1/2*. I almost started crying. Like I said, Atlas is one of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen. Valentine could have had a better match with El Gigante. ___________________ It's Hulk Hogan and Tugboat against Earthquake and Dino Bravo w/Jimmy Hart. I don't know why they had to bring Tugboat and Bravo into the mix during the Hogan/Quake program, but anyway. I hated Bravo, and still can't stand watching him. Blow-by-blow: Hogan and Bravo start the match, and they both push each other into the corner. Hogan gets a backdrop and atomic drop, then both Hogan and Tugboat beat Bravo up. Tugboat tags in, and the babyfaces give Bravo a double back elbow. Hogan tags in, with a double axhandle off the top rope. He gives Bravo a rake to the eyes, and rams him into the buckle, tagging Tugboat in. Double big boot is on the menu for Bravo, which puts Bravo outside, but Bravo comes back in with a boot of his own. After an inverted atomic drop, Earthquake tags in. Earthquake misses an elbowdrop, so Hogan tags back in. Right hands for Quake follow, and Bravo gets slammed. Then Quake gets slammed, and clotheslined. HULKAMANIA'S RUNNIN' WILD BROTHER. Tugboat tags in, and avalanches Quake. A clothesline follows, but as 'Boat is about to do another, Bravo hits him with Hart's megaphone. Earthquake tags Bravo, and Bravo's pin gets a 2 count. Bravo spits on Hogan, then tags in Quake. Bravo and Quake clothesline Tugboat after Earthquake tags in, and a big splash by Quake gets 2, only cause Hogan broke up the pin. Quake goes to the chinlock, but that doesn't last long, thankfully. Earthquake takes Tugboat down, and tags in Bravo. Fake hot tag follows (you know, where the ref is distracted and doesn't see the tag), so Quake and Bravo give Tugboat a double slam. It's time for the ASS SPLASH, but Hogan gives Quake a clothesline as Quake was running the ropes. Tag Hogan, and Bravo follows, as Hogan goes into his routine, after the big boot, he rolls Bravo up for the 3 count at 9:19. Strange finish, isn't it. Tugboat and Hogan pose for a while, and then, out of nowhere, Earthquake comes back to the ring, and hits Hogan with a chair; at the same time, Jimmy Hart throws chalk into the eyes of Tugboat. Quake gives Hogan an ASS SPLASH, and Hogan's down for the count. He won't do a stretcher job, though, so Tugboat helps him to the back. Hogan's a man's man. Match Analysis: Short and inoffensive, *. That was as good as we could have hoped for. ___________________ Ted DiBiase had knee surgery, so Virgil will take his place in this bout against the Texas Tornado. Blow-by-blow: Kerry's so strung out it's ridiculous. He never met a drug he didn't like. Virgil sends Kerry outside after a few clubbing blows to the back, and then rams him into the stairs. Tornado blocks a right hand, and hiptosses Virgil out. Into the stairs Virgil goes, and Virgil doesn't come into the ring for about 2 minutes. Goodness. Tornado makes him come in, and then tosses him into the buckle, where he misses a charge. Virgil applies an armbar, and rakes Kerry in the eyes. Kerry gets two clotheslines and a backdrop, so Virgil begs for forgiveness. Kerry gets a suplex and another backdrop, which leads to a Boston Crab. The CLAW follows, but Virgil makes the ropes. Kerry finishes the match with the DISCUSCUSCUSCUS punch at 7:55. After the match, Virgil offers to shake Kerry's hand, and Kerry shakes it. Match Analysis: Not good at all. -1/2*. I'll never watch that match again, under any circumstances. Same level of suck as the Valentine/Simba match, hence the rating. Jimmy Hart comes to the ring, and says Honky Tonk Man challenges Valentine to a match at the next MSG show. Well, Honky left the company, so it never happened. ___________________ In a seemingly impromptu partnership, Dusty Rhodes and Jim Duggan face Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan. Blow-by-blow: Dusty's in the worst shape of his entire wrestling career, up to that point anyway. He really let himself go. Slaughter tries to grab Duggan's 2x4, but isn't able to. Dusty elbows Slaughter, and tags in Duggan. HOOOOOOOO, then he whips Slaughter into the corner, where Slaughter does that thing where he rams himself into the steel ringpost, catapulting himself to the floor. Adnan and Slaughter huddle up, and on the inside, Slaughter gets headbutted by Duggan. Guess their strategy didn't work. Duggan rams Slaughter's head into the turnbuckle, and Dusty tags in, and gets FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY JACK. Double punch on Slaughter, and Duggan comes back in. Duggan gives Slaughter a shoulderblock, and Adnan attempts to trip Duggan on an Irish whip. He doesn't, but Slaughter clotheslines Duggan over the top rope anyway. Adnan rams Duggan into the steel post, and Slaughter rams Duggan into the steps. Poor guy. Adnan tags in on the inside, and applies a HEAD VICE. That's no CRANIUM CRUSH. He rams Hacksaw into the buckle, and tags in Slaughter. Slaughter gets a backbreaker for 2, and a kneedrop for 2. He goes up top, but misses with a kneedrop. Dusty Rhodes tags in, and he has elbows for Slaughter. The babyfaces take turns beating up Slaughter, but Dusty misses a charge toward the turnbuckle. Slaughter elbows him, and applies the CAMEL CLUTCH. Duggan breaks it up, so Adnan sneaks around the outside of the ring and nails Duggan with the Iraqi flag. Duggan chases Adnan to the back, meanwhile, Slaughter applies the CAMEL CLUTCH, and it's over at 9:10. Slaughter keeps the hold applied after the bell, until Duggan chases him away. Poor Dusty. Match Analysis: Nothing special. Is it wrong of me to say that I sorta enjoyed Slaughter in the "traitor heel" role? It probably is, but I don't care. I liked seeing Hogan beat him up, too. 1/2* ___________________ Now, we have a dream match of mine. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Mr. Perfect for Perfect's Intercontinental Title. YES!!! Blow-by-blow: Piper tosses his kilt at Perfect, then does the same with his shirt. The wrestlers go nose-to-nose with one another, until Roddy spits at Perfect. HERE WE GO, as Bobby Heenan would say. Perfect goes behind Piper, and Piper kicks him in the nuts. I love Piper in this cheating role, only he and a select few others, namely Eddie Guerrero, could pull it off. But when Eddie did it, it was comedy a lot of the time. When Piper does it, it's serious. Both men chop each other, and Piper chops Perfect out onto the announce table. The announce tables were situated up against the ring then, and they didn't break. Piper pulls Perfect in by the hair, and beels him. A slap to the face follows, and Perfect tries to go low. DOWN LOW. Piper blocks it, and throws Perfect out of the ring. Perfect oversells everything, but not to the point of ridiculousness. Piper puts Perfect into the guardrail, and hits him with a chair. I don't think that was in the plans, no sir. Perfect's ring attire is torn, and Piper tosses him into the ring by the remnants of it. Piper pokes Perfect in the eye, and hits him with a right hand for 2. A double clothesline follows, and both men are out. Perfect pulls off the turnbuckle pad once he gets up, and rams Piper into the exposed buckle. He's still woozy, so Perfect only gets a 2 count once he wakes up. Perfect goes for a FIELD GOAL, and it's good, twice. He laid into Piper with those kicks. Perfect gives Piper a standing dropkick, so they brawl on the outside. Gorilla's been surprisingly unbiased tonight, and it stays the same, even though Perfect hits Piper with a chair. Eye for an eye, one for one. Perfect goes for the sleeper, and gets a few 2 counts out of it. Once Piper powers out, he chin checks Perfect. Meaning that he grabbed Perfect by the head, and rammed the chin of Perfect into the top of his head. Perfect goes for a suplex after regaining control, but Piper falls on top of Perfect for a 2 count. Perfect gets a small package for 2, then both wrestlers trade kneelifts. Perfect goes for the PERFECTPLEX after a clothesline, and Roddy kicks out at 2. You just knew he wasn't jobbing. Piper gets a roll-up for 2, and Perfect backdrops Piper to the outside. Perfect follows, then tosses Piper back in. He wastes a bit of time, then goes to the top rope, WITHOUT entering the ring first. Piper shakes the ropes, and Perfect falls to the outside. Now, the bell rings. Mr. Perfect has been counted out at 12:38. Both men fight for control of the title, and Roddy is the one to get it. He swings the title at Perfect and misses, but he finally knocks Perfect out with the title. Piper then lies the title on the stomach of Perfect, as if to say, you can have it. For now. Match Analysis: I wasn't disappointed. That match was FUN. **3/4. Definitely worth watching the show for. Piper's matches are fun when he has a foil that can make things believable. You stick him in there with a stiff, and it ain't gonna work. With Bad News Brown, although Bad News wasn't a stiff, it forced Piper to resort to "bad ass brawling tactics." He couldn't do his usual cheating thing, cause it wouldn't fit in with the way the match was supposed to go. That's why that feud didn't provide much in the way of great matches, whereas his matches with Bret and Perfect were very solid. They programmed around the circuit, and I bet a majority of the matches were fun. I bet the Flair vs. Piper blowoff at MSG a year later was fun too. Anyway, that's the end of the show. Gorilla says the Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage will fight each other in a cage on the 21st of January. I'd like to see that. ___________________ Rating: Above-average. (Excellent, great, good, above-average, decent, poor, bad, absolutely terrible) is the scale, and I needed to post it again so I don't have to look for it whenever I post a show. There was some awful stuff on this show, but the good outweighed it. Best Match: Power and Glory vs. The Rockers Worst Match: Greg Valentine vs. Saba Simba Loudest Sound: When Valentine was going to turn on Jimmy Hart, and the heat during the Piper/Perfect match. No Sound: Virgil and Saba Simba. The crowd just didn't care. ___________________ Nitro will be up next, then RAW.

November 8, 2007

Xmas, all time weather rant

This from the Orwellian file: Holiday Display Task Force in Ft Collins, Co. An example of some of the policy suggestions: Avoid snowflakes and red and green lighting--these things are too closely relatable to Christmas. My advice, remember this season to 'X' out--Xmas not Christmas! The founder of the Weather Channel went apeshit over the idea of catastrophic man-made global warming yesterday. Check out this rant:

November 8, 2007

Keiper's Pit

2008 Bill James Handbook

With the preponderance of baseball statistics on the internet, you might question the need for an annual statistics book. Certainly, baseball-reference.com provides a plethora of statistics along with sorting options and statistical splits that a printed version simply can not match. In this environment, a publisher needs to add a few bells and whistles to entice paying customers. First off, if you feel the need for a print stat book of any kind, stop now and buy the book. That said, here are a few other features. The book offers a look at the first version of the "Fielding Bible" awards. The publishers chose a panel of ten voters, ranging from Bill James and Rob Neyer to the Tangotiger online fan poll. Honestly, this strikes me a bit elitist. It is one thing to say you can improve the process. It is another to assume you are a better voting group because you disagree with the results. The awards are improved by the nature of the process, each voter submits a weighted ballot rather than choosing a single player. If they selected candidates the same way the actual gold glove awards do, three of the picks would change. You get the usual chapters you expect. Park factors, managers' records, platoon splits, etc. The manager index demonstrates how many lineups a manager used, how many pinch-hitters and runners used, and more than a dozen other categories. Some other records are compiled. Particularly useful are baserunning statistics, chronicling how often a player went from first to third on a single, or scored from second on a single, or scored from first on a double. The best baserunner in 2007 of course was Jose Reyes. The best baserunning team suprisingly was the Kansas City Royals. Much has been made of the Young Talent Inventory. That James produced a list based solely on 2007 statistics seems quite sloppy. I believe it is an example of the commerce aspect of the book, needing to attach names and essays to the book in the interest of sales. The player comments however are interesting. Player projections are covered (only for established players), as well as win shares. I wish the publishers would simply list the win shares in the career register. Amazon currently lists this book around $15. For that price, it's a solid purchase.

EVIL~! alkeiper

November 8, 2007

11/7: Dumb Laws, Dumber Voters

7:15 p.m. • Remember, it's not only the U.S. that has stupid laws. From a survey of Brits about dumb laws from across the Pond. 7 p.m. • I vote in every Shittsburgh mayoral election. Problem is I vote with my feet. You know there’s something messed up with the left-wing Post-Gazette endorses the REPUBLICAN candidate for mayor. God it’s going to be great watching the city go even further down the shitter, all the while local politicians will be blaming the evil suburbanites for everything. • In my neck of the woods, the township commissioner candidate I voted lost thanks to a huge turnout by the other guy 437-258. I always like looking at local returns and seeing the tiny vote totals. I remember seeing some in the past where one vote decided an election.

November 8, 2007

Review: NWA 1/4/86.

It's really easy to review the squash matches like I did yesterday, so here. This'll only apply to squash matches on the PTW and NWA shows. ___________________ Ok, the show starts with Ole Anderson's leg being broken by Dusty Rhodes and the Road Warriors. It's awfully similar to Dusty's leg being broken after Flair's cage match with Nikita. That's the point, of course. Tully Blanchard and JJ Dillon cut a promo after we're told that Dusty won the National Title, and JJ tells Tony and David not to mention Baby Doll around them again. They say we'll see later. ___________________ It's the NWA Tag Team Champs, the Rock & Roll Express v. Thunderfoot and Jim Jeffers, and the R&R's finish the bout at 4:34 with a double dropkick. *1/2. ___________________ Back to Tully again, and he's really pissed off about Baby Doll. He says she cheated on him...well, after the break, we learn that the Horsemen want to destroy Jimmy Valiant. Why him? They show a clip from the syndicated show, World Wide Wrestling, and Tully straight out slaps Baby Doll across the face. David Crockett nearly jumps onto Tully and beats the shit out of him, but JJ Dillon holds him back. Dusty comes out and punches Tully, and says Baby Doll belongs to him now. Now that is how you ditch a manager. ___________________ Back to the ring, and it's Harley Race vs. Tony Zane. I have no idea why Harley was at a JCP taping, but anyways...he pins Zane with a diving headbutt off the 2nd rope, at 3:26. *. Promo time afterward, and it's Ivan Koloff with the 6-man tag title trophy. Yeah, a trophy. He and his nephew Nikita are going to beat Road Warrior. ___________________ Here's another surprise, because for some reason I forgot that Ron Bass was working for Jim Crockett, as Ron is up against Bill Tabb. Bass pins him with the CLAW at 2:27. DUD. Yeah, that wasn't very good. The difference between Bass here and when he went up north is astounding. He either hit the gym, or was on the juice a few years later. ___________________ Dusty brings Baby Doll with him to the promo area; Dusty says that Arn Anderson will be the next one to be put in the hospital. And now, we see the full video of Dusty breaking Ole's leg. Continuity? Revenge? That's what it was. ___________________ Ron Garvin faces off against Mac Jeffers in the 4th match, and Garvin just beats the shit out of Jeffers. Shit, you'd think Jeffers tried to steal something in the locker room. A FIST OF STONE finishes the bout at 4:01, for Garvin. *. Harley Race has some words for us all, and he plugs his match in St. Louis which will take place in a steel cage, against Ric Flair. Makes sense. Him wanting to fight Magnum TA really doesn't, though. ___________________ The Road Warriors beat three jobbers in about 30 seconds. Nothing to see here, but it was pretty funny. It went so fast that I forgot to time it, and once I started, it was over. DUD. Handicap matches don't mean shit to the Road Warriors. They want the 6 man tag team titles, but first, they have to find a partner. They don't have one yet. ___________________ The Ragin' Bull Manny Fernandez faces Larry Clark...yeah, that was probably the worst match on the show. Fernandez pinned Clark after a flying forearm at 4:26. DUD. Ric Flair has something to say about Baby Doll, namely that she had the opportunity to ride SPACE MOUNTAIN WHOOOO, but Flair wanted no part of that. What a guy. ___________________ Arn Anderson beats Kent Glover with the gourdbuster at 2:47. * Flair makes his way back to the promo area, and Arn joines him this time. We finally learn that the angle where Dusty broke Ole's leg occured at the Omni. Well gee, thanks. For some reason, Arn calls himself in-bred. ... Baby Doll comes out and says Arn's next, and in response, Flair lays down on the floor and says Baby Doll will be like that when she gets off Space Mountain. That made the entire show, right there. Funnier than hell. Words don't do it justice, you have to see it. Unfortunately, I can't find a youtube video. So for those that can't see it, you're out of luck. Sorry. ___________________ Jimmy Valiant (whose gimmick I love, although his hair looks fake) faces off against an unnamed jobber, and pins him with an elbow drop at 1:11. This show is really being oversaturated by appearances of the Horsemen, as Tully came out during the match to the commentary area (same as promo area) and told Tony and David that Valiant was next. YEAH, WE KNOW THAT. Jim Cornette has an interview in which he brags about winning the PWI Manager of the Year Award. I could listen to him ramble all day. We then see a video clip of the Midnight Express attacking the Rock & Roll's. They just wanted to make the R&R's unhappy. And, to follow up on that, we have our first non-squash match, Lover Boy Dennis Condrey vs. Rocky King. I say King's not a jobber because he beat one on the last aired show. I mean, King's a jabroni, but for purposes of matches in the next few weeks, he isn't. You can tell its been a long time between TV tapings, because King has an afro going. Condrey takes King down to the canvas, then dumps him out to the floor. As usual, Cornette goes to the commentary area and rambles for about 10 seconds, at random intervals. Condrey gives King a snapmare and applies a chinlock, which is fairly inexcusable. It's a 5 minute match, COME ON. Moving on, King gets up and is taken down again, and covered for a 2 count. Condrey elbows King on the top of the head, and dumps him to the outside. Condrey whips King off the ropes, and King blows whatever they were trying to do, so Condrey reapplies the chinlock. So that's why Condrey applied the chinlock in the first place. Rocky King sucks. Badly. Condrey gets a small package for two, and dumps King again. Condrey gives King a baseball slide, and an abdominal stretch once King gets inside the ring. Rocky starts a faux-comeback with a scoop slam and two dropkicks, but Condrey gives him a FUCKING BRAINBUSTER for 3 at 5:04. The brainbuster forced me to let out an audible "oh shit," and my mother told me not to cuss like that around the kids. I usually don't, and she hears me every single time, no matter where she is. Yeah, I still live at home. For now, anyway. *1/4. Dusty and Baby Doll are back, and Baby Doll says, "why would I ride Space Mountain when I can have the whole park." You ain't kiddin', either. ___________________ In the "main event" of the show, we have the US Champ, Magnum TA, facing The Barbarian w/Paul Jones. I don't know if it's a title match, it was never specified. Barbarian looks too much like the Road Warriors, namely Animal. Hopefully this is changed up. Harley Race is out to watch the match, which is little surprise. I don't know where JCP went with the Harley/Magnum thing, if they went anywhere at all. Barbarian applies a wristlock, and Magnum reverses to a hammerlock. Magnum kicks Barbarian over the top rope, and Harley wants the referee to disqualify Magnum. You know, because of the NWA's rule about disqualifying wrestlers who throw their opponents over the top rope. Back inside, Magnum gives Barbarian a backdrop and an armdrag. He applies an armbar, but Barbarian finds his way out. Barbarian misses a clothesline, so Magnum goes back to the hammerlock. For what looked to be no reason, Magnum started chasing Paul Jones around the ring, then through it, until Jones wound up in the spot he was in, before the chasing. Barbarian misses a charge into the corner, and Magnum reapplies the armbar. Jones says it's a moral victory that Barbarian has lasted so long with Magnum, and we go to a commercial break We come back from the break, and Barbarian has a chinlock applied. He gets a legdrop and a Hotshot, then picks Magnum up in a choke and drops him to the canvas. Barbarian gets a backbreaker for 2, and a thrust kick. A big boot gets 2, but Magnum avoids a kneedrop. Magnum gets a dropkick for two, and the momentum from the atomic drop he gave Barbarian leads to Barbarian running over the referee. Here comes the typical JCP screwy finish. Magnum gets the BELLY-TO-BELLY suplex, but there's no referee. Paul Jones hits Magnum with his cane, and Barbarian gives him a diving headbutt. Well, since there's no referee, Harley says that someone has to make the count. Might as well be him, right? He counts the pinfall at 8:37, to give Barbarian the 'win'. Obviously it's a no-contest. Magnum tries to fight Harley, Jones and Barbarian off, but he can't. Harley and Barbarian both give Magnum headbutts off the top rope, so the Rock & Roll Express have to come out along with Jimmy Valiant to save Magnum. Poor guy. **. Harley comes back to say something, and says that there just had to be a referee. He didn't do anything to Magnum until the match was over, which is true. The Road Warriors then give Tony a shirt. It said Weasel Slappers, but the spelling on the shirt was wrong. Jimmy Valiant has an interview of his own, in which you can clearly see that the hair on top of his head is a hairpiece. If it's not, I'd be awfully surprised. ___________________ Sam Houston and Nelson Royal square off against Pablo Crenshaw and __________, didn't get the name, cause I wrote down Nelson Royal twice. Anyway, Sam Houston wins the match with the bulldog at 1:57. 1/2*. ___________________ Magnum cuts a promo, and he says, if Harley wants it, he can come get it. He ain't what he once was, no sir. ___________________ Rating: Good. The angles and recaps of what happened at the Omni were awesome. Best Match: Magnum TA vs. The Barbarian Worst Match: Ragin' Bull vs. Larry Clark Loudest Sound: Whenever Flair made an appearance, and the R&R's. No Sound: Every jobber, and Sam Houston. If I haven't made it clear, I don't like Sam Houston. ___________________ I don't know what I'll post next.

November 7, 2007

mpg facts, Finnish failings

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-1291894,00.html Jesus, at least when an American goes nuts and kills people they have the ability to finish the suicide portion of the process properly. The shooter posted a video of himself on Youtube. So I guess by attempting suicide, he feels that he is unfit and a disgrace to the human race.

November 7, 2007

11/6: Real, Fake Politics

9 p.m. • Isn't that writer's strike supposed to stop this crap from being made? How about showing us what happened in the voting booths when Gloria Rubenstein thought she was voting for Pat Buchanan or "Al Lieberman"? Better yet, I want to see some snarling police dogs prevent minorities from entering polling places. 7:45 p.m. • Grocery shopping news. The personal shoppers are down until further notice. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Fuck, that means I'll have to deal with cashiers bitching about their jobs. Hey, I bitch about my job but I do it in a funny way. These people talk to each other all day asking when they're going on break/done for the day. I swear I'm going to do a "wave" or yell "yaaaaay" when this happens. It'll be just like a drinking game only without the booze -- you have to go to a state store to purchase those adult beverages. It wasn't bad tonight because our store is moving products all over the place, which makes no sense to me but a bunch of corporate idiots probably circle-jerked one night and decided this would be the best way to piss off customers and make the employees life a living hell because they would have to answer 1,000 times per shift "why are you guys moving all this stuff around?" Well anyway, there was a cute experience today when the better half and I were walking down the candy aisle and this kid was trying to get her mom to buy her something. I don't know that the kid wanted, but this was her reasoning. "Mom please please please can I get this? It's really good. I haven't had it yet." Oh the mind of a child. • So I voted today. Yay. Bunch of local people -- went straight Republican or didn't vote for people I never heard of before. Oddly enough, this was the longest wait I've had ever when voting, and this was an off-year/post-mid-term election. Weird. Speaking of local politics, this is good news. We're not quite there yet, but it's progress. Besides, a lot of those Democrats are conservative, which is perfectly fine -- as long as we can keep the blacks out, which is something both parties out here can agree upon.

November 7, 2007

Stan's Dad, Gored

This weeks South Park promises to be awesome for one simple reason--Stan's dad Randy plays a prominent part. Randy has become the show's best and funniest character, leaving Cartman and Butters in his wake. He's already kicked ass this season with his world record defecation (confirmed by a Swiss group that oversees fecal measuring accuracy). This week will follow the much praised Imaginationland Trilogy, which I thought started out great but fizzled at the end of "Episode III". Randy Is The Man. Al Gore was asked a tough question about someone in the IPCC who disagrees with some of his conclusions regarding climate change. His response-- "He's an outlyer, he's no longer with the IPCC." Way to confront an opposing view. Just call him an "outlyer" and move on.

November 6, 2007

Review: WWF Prime Time Wrestling, 8/3/87.

This show sucked. SUCKED. ___________________ Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Jerry Allen. No Heenan at ringside for the match, and Rude went through that whole routine of taking his robe off. It was very, hell, I forgot the word. Un-refined. Anyway, since the show was so bad, I'm not wasting my time typing out entire match reviews. At 7:12, Rude gave Allen a backbreaker, and Allen quit. 1/2*. ___________________ Next up was a clip of Sherri Martel winning the Women's Title from Moolah. Never seen that before. Following that, Ted DiBiase bought himself the most expensive suite in his hotel. It was the honeymoon suite, and it was already booked. SO, Virgil made the newlyweds leave. The Million Dollar man goes into his thing about how everyone's got a price..MWHAHAHAHAHA. He didn't laugh, but it's necessary. Last and definitely least, Ron Bass cuts a rambling promo about how Miss Betsy, his bullwhip, does justice. I like his Florida work, but up north...no. ___________________ Outback Jack goes up against Johnny K-9, and it ends with an Outback bulldog at 3:13. DUD. ___________________ Finally something else I can watch. It's Jake Roberts in the SNAKE PIT with Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. Savage says that nothing can stop him, and he'll somehow get the Intercontinental Title back. Which is funny, cause he's still a heel. But don't mind that. He'd turn soon after. ___________________ Johnny V faces Brutus Beefcake at Boston Garden, and Beefcake applies the sleeper, causing Johnny V to pass out and lose at 3:26. Beefcake cuts Johnny V's hair, and spraypaints an orange V across the chest of Johnny, and spraypaints Johnny's hair. 1/4*. Very, very forgettable. ___________________ Dino Bravo faces Brady Boon, and I'll be honest. This is around the point where I said fuck it, in regards to typing a full review. The Santana/Volkoff match confirmed it. Boon looks a LOT like Billy Jack Haynes. Bravo finishes him with the side suplex at 10:46. WAY TOO LONG. 1/2*. ___________________ The HART FOUNDATION grant Gene Okerlund with their presence...too bad they didn't say anything worth writing down. Now, the neckbrace thing with Bobby Heenan was summarized. Cause, you know, he wasn't wearing it this time. Gorilla Monsoon gave him a gold-painted brick...now that was funny. ___________________ Nikolai Volkoff faces Tito Santana. THANK GOODNESS this was Joined in Progress. I couldn't imagine it otherwise. Volkoff applied a bearhug for about 4 minutes...this was not something I'd like to relive. DUD. Match went around 8 minutes, I didn't time it. I knew I was going to type a short review after watching this DOG. ___________________ Speaking of DOGS, we have the Junkyard Dog and Rick Martel teaming up to take on the WWF Tag Team Champions, The Hart Foundation. That's Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart, duh. Anyway, this match was miles ahead of the others. However, that doesn't make it any good. The Harts give JYD a HART ATTACK, but the HART FOUNDATION is disqualified because they were both in the ring for too long. LAME. *. Went 12:23, which was way too long. JYD was so deteriorated that it was a sad sight. ___________________ Rating: Poor Best Match: Hart Foundation vs. JYD and Rick Martel Worst Match: Tito Santana vs. Nikolai Volkoff. If I wasn't expecting the match to be that bad, I'd have given it a negative rating. Loudest Sound: JYD, Rick Martel and Rick Rude. Pretty good pop for his entrance. No Sound: Everyone else, except the Hart Foundation and Tito Santana. ___________________ The line-up for the next few shows looks good, so I'll give them full reviews. Honestly, it wasn't worth my time to type all that garbage up. It's different for PPV's and some house shows, but not this. This was just BORING. NWA is next. When I review the Greatest Wrestling Families thing coming up on this update, the review is going to be my own thoughts on each family, NOT on what the DVD program is about. Basically an opinion piece, I guess.

November 6, 2007

11/5: A Moving Job Search

10:30 p.m. • So my genius supervisors finally suckered hired someone to take over for an employee that died four months ago. As I met with this chick for the first time to talk with her about a work e-mail account, among other things, the first thing she said was “they never told me what I’d be doing.” Oh this is going to work out just great. Actually, today, her fourth day on the job, she’s already called off. Assuming the idiot bosses haven’t compromised their $8/hour policy when it comes to hiring office staff, something tells me this person won’t be around much longer. What cracks me up is when a half-hearted effort was under way early this year to replace my assistant, I was only allowed to advertise in the city’s second-tier newspaper, have a bare minimum amount of words and publish the ad in the immediate city zone (the ad didn’t go out to the suburbs). According to my count, the job search for this most recent vacancy, which deals directly with my one idiot boss, has already been twice advertised in the city’s top newspaper, has a bunch more words in it (one of the lines was “must be a hard worker”) and was published in editions that went out to the suburbs (or at least to the newsstands in my neighborhood). Christ I love this place. 7:45 p.m. • So sfaJack talked about the joys of moving, and Christ is he right. I’m all moved out. I took my shit and moved to Sappy Valley back in January of 1999 during a blizzard. A year and some change later I moved within the apartment complex the better half and I were living at. It was May of 2000 and Mrs. kkk got accepted to the University of Dayton Master’s Program. We decided it would be best if we split for the summer. I’d keep working my two jobs for a few months and she could go back home and work a few jobs she had lined up there. When August came we’d head off to glorious Middletown Ohio, and we did just that. Then there was the move back to the Shittsburgh region in August of 2003 followed by our latest move to our first home in August of 2004. The next move I make will be to either a retirement home or the grave. Well I shouldn’t say that – I’ll probably just hire movers or something. When you get older, one way you can feel your age with how terrible you feel after a move. With all this said, there are times when you should engage in a move. Believe me, sometimes assisting with a person’s move can build you up a nice line of “you owe me credit.” Here’s my example. Mrs. kkk’s brother-in-law never really liked me. No, it wasn’t because I was an asshole or anything like that. It was just because I was banging his baby sister. Well that and I’m not a “man’s man.” I don’t hunt, drink beer, work on cars or do any of that other shit. But one thing I’m good at is being a worker bee, and when his family was moving for the third time to a house on the same street (don’t ask) I was one of only two people that showed up to assist him. After that it was like night and day – he loves me now. In fact, the better half said she couldn’t believe the seemingly instant transformation that took place. It’s a guy thing. I’m still not allowed to go hunting with him, though.