5:30 p.m.
• So there’s this one bowling alley I drive by to and from work. Oh who am I kidding? It’s the ONLY bowling alley I drive by to and from work. Anyway, they just put a new message up on its marquee: “We have the NFL Network.” Uh, it might have been better to get this station DURING the season. Then again, I’m sure when one isn’t knocking pins down or swilling brews the next best thing is to watch some guy run 40 yards really really fast.
• Looks like HD DVDs are the next Beta. Whatever. I’m not interested in next-gen DVDs yet, although I’m sure these things will be the new standard-bearer (no, I don’t frequent TSM threads of a similar nature).
When DVDs took over VHS tapes as the home-movie medium, the better half’s mom, who is afraid of any kind of change, declared this to be “communism” because she wasn’t getting a choice to keep buying movies for her VCR. Of course, shortly after she discover those things called “special features,” she fell in love with this format. She’s even stopped bitching about those “black bars.” Now that genuinely surprised even me.
• Quit fooling around, scientists. Let's get it started.
Sorry.
For what it's worth, I actually like the "started" version of that song than the "retarded" one.
Since I'm on a bit of a 1986 trip right now I figured I'd take a look back at what was going on this week in 1986 in the world of sports with the help of PaperofRecord.com using their Sporting News archive which I did once before with 1994.
February 17, 1986
Cover Story: Baseball's Worst Ballpark. Gale-force winds gust through Candlestick Park by day and frigid temperatures set in by night. One Giants official calls it the weather "the worst in baseball in June, July, and August." Fans don't like it any better than players. They're staying away in droves. That's why in baseball is in jeopardy in San Francisco.
-Now just a hunch coming off a 100 loss season wasn't helping attendance either but Candlestick Park really was the worst place to watch a baseball game and the Giants came close to moving to St. Petersburg in 1993, and damn that would have been great (for me). The best part of the article was an insert about a Canadian firm was coming up with a "revolutionary idea" of doming already built stadiums with an air-filled balloon type structure. Now that would have been quite the eyesore.
Down and Up at Michigan
-In the college basketball section there were two articles regarding Michigan State's Scott Skiles and Michigan's Roy Tarpley. One of the articles talks about a player having off the court troubles with a marijuana possession and dui conviction. If you guessed that player was Tarpley, you'd be wrong. Apparently Tarpley's off the court problems weren't public knowledge at this point as he would later be banned from the NBA for multiple drug violations.
-There's a little notes section about the old Continental Basketball Association where it notes Albany head coach Phil Jackson has been suspended for two games for "physically confronting" a referee. Wonder what happened to that guy?
-In the NBA notes section the Lakers had beaten the Rockets 14 straight games in Houston. The Rockets would stun the defending champs in the Western Conference Finals in five games later that year.
-Brief article about rising 20 year old, rising star Mario Lemieux although it more focuses on Wayne Gretzky and whether Lemieux would reach the level of Gretzky. There's a little blurb about how if the Penguins hadn't drafted Lemieux the franchise would have left Pittsburgh.
-In the NHL notes section there's a proposed change to the All-Star Game format that would match-up the NHL All-Stars against a touring Soviet national team in a two game series. Other ideas are the Stanley Cup champs vs. All-Stars or Americans vs. Canadians.
-A proposed new stadium deal in New York for the Jets that would be built by Donald Trump had fallen through.
-Brief commentary about the fallout after the Super Bowl about the drug problems of several members of the New England Patriots. In some team meeting after the Super Bowl the Patriots agreed to drug testing which didn't sit well with union head Gene Upshaw (yes that idiot was already running things back then) and he had this fantastic quote:
-Cincinnati Reds had offered Rollie Fingers an non-roster invite to Spring Training on the condition that he shave his mustache. He would end up refusing.
-Phillies pitcher Dave Stewart was very close to signing a deal with the Yomiuri Giants but it fell through. Phillies would release him three months later.
-There's a few mentions in various parts of the MLB team notes sections talking about team sponsored drug testing but of course the main concern back then was cocaine not steroids.
Nitro is from Dayton, Ohio. Had to get that out of the way.
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The NWO comes to the ring, in this case, that means Syxx and Scott Hall. For a promo, you know. Well, JJ Dillon comes out, and says that Scott Hall MUST face Ric Flair tonight. If Hall doesn't face Flair, he and Nash have to vacate their tag titles, so really, Hall has no choice. He accepts.
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Intro to Nitro and all that, which brings us to Alex Wright vs. Glacier.
- It's Glacier's first match since Slamboree, unfortunately, there's a whole lot of spot miscommunication. In a match that only lasts 1:38, that knocks it down to a DUD. Glacier finished it with the CRYONIC KICK, so now, James Vandenberg comes to the ring, to distract Glacier from the sneak attack of Mortis and Wrath. They attack, but Glacier fended them all off, after Mortis accidentally kicked an eager Wright. Wright wanted to join in, see.
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Our next match, featuring someone who hasn't wrestled on this program since I got 24/7, is Buff Bagwell w/Scott Norton vs. Joe Gomez.
- In a split-screen prior to the match, Buff and Norton talk about NWO in Japan and all that. Buff Blockbuster (awesome move) finishes at 3:07. *1/4.
WCW Saturday Night ad follows, and Mike Tenay is in the crowd, giving us information about Ernest Miller. If only this never happened...
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Hugh Morrus is scheduled to face Prince Iaukea, but before the match, Konnan attacks Morrus at the entranceway. Morrus is dazed, but the match will go on.
- Wow, they blew the finish. Iaukea was supposed to slide under Morrus and roll him up, but Iaukea ran right into Morrus' leg. They do it again, and Iaukea rolls him up for the win at :47. You know what, you get -* for fucking up the only thing that was supposed to happen in the match. ONLY THING. That finish exposed the business so bad that my MENTALLY HANDICAPPED cousin asked me if wrestling was fake. Naturally, I told him no, otherwise, he'd try to do wrestling moves on his brother. Don't want any part of that.
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JJ Dillon is with Mean Gene, because he's looking for a future #1 contending tag team. See, he says that the Steiners will be #1 contenders, if they win tonight. If. They'll face the winner of Piper/Flair vs. the Outsiders, I believe. Harlem Heat come out, and they're pissed.
DDP video, from when he was a jobber, to now. Great American Bash hype and all that, he's facing Randy Savage again.
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The next match is the Steiner Brothers vs. Masahiro Chono and the Great Muta.
- This is a dream match, although it won't work out the way it should. Not that much happened at the beginning, but the crowd was in the palm of their hands. After the heat segment, Chono accidentally gives Muta a YAKUZA KICK! Harlem Heat come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner with a chair, and that allows Muta to pin Rick for the 3 count at 8:53. This was one of those matches you kinda need to see, just because. **3/4. JJ Dillon comes to the ring, and announces that this match is up for review. Harlem Heat have a match later, as well.
Hour #2 starts, and Mean Gene is with Ric Flair. Flair cuts an insane promo on Hall, and storms off. This was nuts, even for Flair.
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Michael Wallstreet is up against Dean Malenko for the US Title...
- Nick Patrick is a referee, so we're going to have some friction between he and Wallstreet. I absolutely cannot stand this angle. There's some good action in here, but I'm kinda bothered with how I know this match is going to end. Anyway, Jeff Jarrett tried some interference, but it didn't help. Malenko applies the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, and Patrick stands in front of Wallstreet so that he cannot reach the bottom rope in order to break the hold. Wallstreet submits at 6:22, **.
After the match, Mean Gene is with Jarrett and Debra. Jarrett is going to face Malenko next week in Boston, and for some reason, Mongo comes out and says that he wants to know when Jarrett comes to the ring. Then he cuts a bad promo on Kevin Greene that I don't care about.
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We get to the Harlem Heat match, as they're facing Ciclope and Damien.
- Ciclope has the best getup of any luchador. For real. Barbarian's supposed to face Chris Benoit later, but it wasn't shown.
- The Steiners come to ringside and hit Booker T with a chair, before tossing him back into the ring, where Damien comes off the top with a big splash for 3 at 3:31. *. Now that's an upset.
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Like I said, Benoit/Barbarian was skipped, so now, it's time for the main event, that being Ric Flair vs. Scott Hall w/Syxx.
- There's a whole lot of Syxx interference, but I don't have a problem with it. Flair did this little thing where he Flair Flipped onto the apron and jumped onto Syxx, who was on the floor. That was cool. This was a nice little TV main event, until Hall hit Flair with his title belt at 7:49, getting himself disqualified. **3/4. Hall and Syxx continually attack Syxx, until Jarrett and Mongo save him from the attack. Good match.
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Some NWO members are coming to the ring, this time, it's Randy Savage and Elizabeth. Savage takes Mean Gene hostage, and tells him to come along with him to the ring. Macho says that he's the best ever, which causes JJ Dillon to make ANOTHER appearance. Dillon tells Savage not to put his hands on announcers, so Savage attacks him. Bischoff comes to the ring to make Savage stop, and Bischoff tells Dillon that he deserves it, seeing as he kept running his mouth. That's the end of the show.
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Stupid ending to a good show. Two DUD's, but two pretty good matches as well. Best segment was Hall/Flair, and the worst was Morrus/Iaukea. Nitro is less of a program because Syxx is holding the Cruiserweight Title and not defending it. That's just my opinion.
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RAW is from Huntington, West Virginia this week. Expect huge reactions for Steve Austin.
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To begin the show, the Undertaker makes his way to the ring, for an interview with Vince McMahon. Taker says that he pretty much had to join Paul Bearer. He then runs down Paul Bearer, to the point where Bearer makes his way to the ring. Bearer says that he will RULE THE WORLD, so you just know that Psycho Sid will have something to say about that. Sid trashes Bearer for joining up with Bearer, and wants his rematch, that he never received after WrestleMania. Taker accepts, and Faarooq has something to say about that. This time next week, he says he'll be the Champion. Sure.
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Ahmed Johnson faces Faarooq now...
- Before the match, there's a hype video, seeing as this is a long-running feud, and all. The Nation was sent away from the ring, but they came back anyway.
- At the end, Taker whips Faarooq into Ahmed, who rams his own head into the steel steps. Faarooq throws Ahmed in, and pins him for the 3 count at 3:09. *3/4. Surprisingly good. After the match, Taker chokeslammed Ahmed, cause he pushed him. He shouldn't have done that.
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The Hart Foundation is in the ring with Vince, and HBK and Austin are on the TitanTron. Because Austin attacked Bret, Bret can't wrestle at King of the Ring. HBK's really pissed off at Austin, so he goes off to fight him. They argue instead, as the Harts are planning something. They want Austin to face HBK at King of the Ring, and on next week's show, Austin will face Brian Pillman.
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The next match was Bob Holly vs. Owen Hart w/the Hart Foundation for the Intercontinental Title.
- This was competitive, while it lasted. Honestly, they tore the house down for 3:17. The SHARPSHOOTER finished things up, so Owen retained his title. **1/4.
HBK says that he'll face Austin at King of the Ring...and later, we get to see more of the Mick Foley interview. YES!
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In another singles match, we have Goldust w/Marlena taking on HHH w/Chyna.
- They're really digging into the old feud vault here. There were some highlights before the match, typically.
- Goldust's face paint is BIZARRE. HHH accidentally knees Chyna in the back, which gives Goldust the distraction he needs to roll HHH up for 3 at 3:48. *1/4. Hopefully that feud's done.
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Before this match, the Legion of Doom cut a promo. Typical LOD promo, Hawk blabbering and all that.
So yeah, it's the Legion of Doom vs. HBK and Steve Austin for the WWF Tag Team Titles.
- The Warzone has begun, and judging by the initial reaction, HBK is the heel. Like I said, these people love their STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD. There's a commercial break...
- Back from the break, Austin and HBK duck out to confront the Hart Foundation at ringside, but they wind up fighting each other instead. That gets them counted out at 7:05 (shown). HBK gets the better of the brawl, but as for the match itself, the champions pulled out all their little tricks in order to have a good match. And it worked...**1/2.
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Jerry Lawler is on commentary for this Mankind vs. Savio Vega in the first round of King of the Ring match, but first, we get to see part 3 of the Mankind interview. He talks about the deathmatch tournament in Japan, mostly.
- Mankind's sorta in-between. The adult males are cheering him, but otherwise, no. When he attacked Jerry Lawler, he won some of them over. Crush accidentally punched Savio Vega, so Mankind was able to pin Vega for the win at 3:02. Crush and Vega argue after the match, in somewhat of a precursor to GANG WARS. *1/2.
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So, the King of the Ring card is shaping up like this. Undertaker vs. Faarooq for the WWF Title, Mankind vs. Jerry Lawler and Ahmed Johnson vs. HHH in King of the Ring action, LOD and Sid vs. Owen Hart, the British Bulldog and Jim Neidhart, and Austin vs. HBK. I think that's it, as for what was advertised.
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Psycho Sid vs. Undertaker w/Paul Bearer in a non-title match is both the main event and our "WrestleMania rematch..."
- I don't get the non-title part. I never do. JR makes a reference to Sid and softball, which had me laughing for a bit. This was better than the WrestleMania match, which isn't to say a whole lot at all. The TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER finishes at 4:46, 1/2*. So yeah, they basically buried Sid for no-showing a few months back. He got only a little offense. The Nation of Domination attacks, but Sid tries to fend them off. He can't, and the Nation beats both Sid and Taker to end the show.
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I suppose RAW was good. That said, for once, I think Nitro was better. More matches of length, but not only that, there wasn't any of that stupid Paul Bearer stuff that's beginning to get on my nerves. The best segment on RAW was LOD vs. Austin/HBK, and the worst was LOD's promo. I've never been able to understand what they're trying to say.
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Things are going to change. I'm done reviewing current shows, because I don't have the time. I'll stick to PPV's, old RAW's and Nitro's, SNME's, Clash shows, and anything else like that, such as Coliseum Video's or overseas programs like European Rampage '91. So yeah, random thoughts are dead, although I'm keeping the review style for the MNW program. Doing it this way gives me more time to write things, which is better for me. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing about these programs. I could always put in a paragraph if something catches my eye. I'll have a Royal Rumble '02 review up soon.
8 a.m.
• Now who didn't see this coming?
Guess what word was used next? Yep.
• This kind of story usually sprouts up around election time.
Here's another example of "song misuse" from this year that was noted in the article.
Maybe to the surprise of some, I side with the hippie artists on this one. I feel it’s the musician’s work and they should be allowed to give their permission for a candidate’s use. Now I’m sure there are rules about who actually owns a song’s rights, and if that’s the case then that’s a whole other conversation. But for any Republican to use a John Mellencamp (or some other politically active artist) song and not think there will be repercussions makes me question that candidate’s judgment even more.
Now there is a bit of a twist to Huckabee’s situation seeing how one member of the Band is supporting him, but for most of these situations Republicans just have to deal with playing Toby Keith songs on the campaign trail.
8:15 p.m.
• So the better half and I had a bit of a disagreement today. Of course it was serious. Was it over money or family planning? Of course not. We were at Kohl’s going through the clearance racks, and after picking out a pair of pants for 80 percent off retail price and several “spa” things that chicks like that were marked 90 percent off (early Christmas presents – good job, honey), we went to a register to check out. The first casher told us that she was closed, even though she was waiting on another customer. Oh shit, did I miss the “closed” sign. Well, where the hell is it? There? You can’t even see the damn thing. Oh well, not a big deal. I just pride myself in seeing if a register is open before walking up to it. Hell, in baseball you’re an All-Star if you only get out seven of nine plate appearances.
Then we went to the second register. Oh Christ, this guy has about 20 kiddie outfits and the casher doesn’t know how to ring the discounts up. Oh well, there’s no other cashier around so I just have to bide my time. At least when this happens at the grocery store I have the tabloids to keep me occupied. In fact, this past week while waiting for someone to figure out how to self-checkout, I picked up “Star” (I think) and read about how Paris Hilton got kicked off a stage by 50 Cent during some Super Bowl party. The photo alone more than made up for my time waiting. I’ll tell you what though, I’m now realizing how much the Weekly World News meant to me because now most of the magazines by the grocery store registers are aimed at either cooking enthusiasts or teenyboppers. (God only knows what will happen to me if I pick up the latter magazine whose cover teases us with 10 ways to get that cute guy to notice you in math class.) Yeah, there’s the Enquirer or Star, but I hate thumbing through those issues because people might actually think I take that shit seriously. At least when you had Batboy or a public figure next to a UFO landing, it was presumed that this checkout read-through was not meant to be taken seriously.
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
So I was zoning out at this register when someone said the common, “I can help whoever is next in line over here.” Now my policy when it comes to this situation is that if I’m next in the current I just bide my time. I already invested a small chunk of my life standing in this aisle so I might as well follow it through much like someone endures a shitty book or movie. Then there’s the other speed factor: by the time you get your stuff and move over, that “open” register will be occupied. Of course, the people standing behind me in line were telling me to go there and Mrs. kkk grabbed her spa shit and walked over. There was no going back now. What a surprise, there was someone already at the register and she had even MORE shit to scan than the person I was originally standing behind. Well at least the people who encouraged me to change lanes followed and were stuck, too. Fuckers. It’s just like those motorists who give you the “wave” to go ahead at an intersection even though they have the right of way. JUST GO ALREADY! It’s situations like this when an accident occurs. You may have all the best intentions in the world, but you are not controlling the flow of traffic in other lanes. I have the Stop sign, you have the right of way: I’ll wait an extra minute because I know if I pull out in front of you there will be a vehicle speeding in the lane next to you not knowing of my presence because you’re blocking his view.
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
Well, there’s not much more to say. The person who I was originally behind was out the door while I was waiting for the new person in front of me in the new aisle to get her shit and go. I really wasn’t all that annoyed, but one thing that does get me a bit is that when you are in front of someone that takes 5-10 minutes to get a transaction processed it only takes your purchase about 20 seconds. It’s like chipping in for a prostitute, waiting an hour for the guy in front of you to finish his thing and then blowing your load after four thrusts. (Not like that’s ever happened to me before … ohhhh no. Four strokes? Not me.)
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
As we were walking to the car, Mrs. kkk was pissed because that lady we were in front of at the newly opened register went ahead of us because we were “next in line.” I disagreed because when it comes to open registers it’s survival of the fittest. We then drove home.
…
I just typed 860+ words on my wait at a checkout aisle and I didn’t get into a fight with a customer, cashier or Mrs. kkk. The hell? Oh well, at least it wasn’t me who had to read through all this. Well I want to leave my adoring readers happy. Hey Ho! Here we go.
Yeah, I know it’s not the “Blitzkrieg Bop,” but I always liked “Judy is a Punk” better, and it’s from 1974. Guess there wasn’t enough in the petty cash account for everyone to have leather jackets (or shirts for that matter).
6:30 p.m.
• So a while back I talked about my fun trip to the airport. Might as well put the finishing touches to this epic adventure.
I was at the Albany airport for a flight to my buddy Ed Rendell’s former stomping ground: Philly. The flight itself wasn’t too bad. However, our “flight attendant” was this fat early twenty-something with greasy hair. Good God, Larry the Cable Guy was right: The Oakridge Boys with titties. Anyway, I didn’t really care because I just read my copy of U.S. Snooze and World Distort. Oh, and every time the flight attendant would go on that intercom thingy he’d be laughing. OK. Now the flight itself was rather uneventful. However, the landing… well…
It’s around 7:15 p.m. when we land. I have a connecting flight at 8:30. No problem. We head over to the dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave. The pilot tells us that another plane is already there. Uh, OK. I don’t fly enough to know if this is a common practice; I’m sure Smues will set me straight. We then drive over to another dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave. It’s now 7:40 and the pilot tells us that there’s a plane in front of us and it’s BROKEN DOWN. We now drive back to the first dock/terminal/whatever that place is called where we all leave and the original plane is still there. When we finally got out it was 8.
Well so much for checking out the Philly airport.
The chick sitting next to me on this flight was antsy as hell. Not only did she have to sit next to ME, but also she had a flight to Toronto departing at 8:30. While we each shared our tales of how this nearly hour-long delay might mess with our hopes of further air travel, I did something I normally don’t do. When it was time to leave, I immediately got up to leave. Whether it’s a sporting event, movie or some other social function, I generally just sit and let everybody else leave first. What’s the point of getting up just to wait in line. I’d rather just sit back and relax while everyone else elbows each other in hopes of exiting and being stuck in gridlock. Well not tonight. I got up and dug in my heels, especially when some dumbfuck in front of me went past me to get some overhead luggage and then tried to cut back in front of me. Not tonight.
After we were all herded into the Philly airport, I thought I was in pretty good shape. I had about 20 minutes to go from Gate B to Gate A; with those moving walkways it’s be a walk in the park.
Ten minutes later and NO SIGN OF GATE A I was beginning to doubt my confidence. Thankfully I saw signs of Gate A shortly thereafter and managed to get into my seat at 8:30 sharp. I was never in any real danger of missing my flight because the thing didn’t actually take off until 15-20 minutes later anyway thanks to all the dumbfucks with too-large-for-overhead luggage and other products of the under-class gumming up the works. However, the thought of spending the night in Fast Eddie’s crib downright scares me. I must say though that from what I saw the Philly airport was rather nice. And I’m not even going to make my predictable “But then again I didn’t see any black people” joke – probably because there were a bunch. Oh well. When I travel I always make sure my wallet is properly secured.
The flight to Shittsburgh wasn’t bad, but when I went to get my luggage the question on my mind while waiting on the Philly runway during my Albany jet joyride was answered. There wasn’t enough time to get the baggage from the Albany flight onto the Shittsburgh flight. My favorite part of this came when in the “lost baggage” section with the other poor sods who made the Albany-Shittsburgh connection. We actually developed somewhat of a camaraderie with each other – either that or they were too tired and frustrated to actively avoid me.
I wish I could end this story with some huge payoff, but my bags were delivered to my door the next afternoon. Alas, and I wanted to bitch even more. I just hope that chick who was sitting next to me over the Albany skies had her luggage boarded on time; Toronto is much farther from Philly than my hood.
The story behind Dopesmoker-which may be the ultimate stoner album-is a fascinating one, or at least I think so.
Sleep were a Doom/Stoner Metal band, who's previous album Sleep's Holy Mountain had become highly acclaimed in the underground, and for good reason too-it was a logical, nearly flawless continuation of Black Sabbath's stoned groove that many had tried, but only some had succeeded. London Records, seeing something big, signed Sleep, though the album itself-obviously the result of constant pot smoking-wasn't what they wanted. It was called Dopesmoker, an album that took two years to complete, and was a one hour long, slow, and heavy as fuck song-a concept album about a group of Holy Men who decide to get really fucking baked.
London Records weren't happy with the end result, so Sleep tried to rework it as a six part, 52 minute album titled Jerusalem. The label was still unhappy, and dropped the band, who then broke up. Interestingly enough, two of the band members smoked so much pot, that they became born again Christians.
Interestingly enough, Jerusalem was relased in 1999, and the original album Dopesmoker finally saw the light of day in 2003 thanks to an indie label. Oh, and yes, it really does live up to the hype.
5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger
It's 1980. Ozzy has signed a deal with a new label, and he really needs a comeback. One night, he and his wife Sharon are at a meeting with record execs, he has a plan to release some doves to wow them. Well, this plan isn't going the way he hoped, so he has a change of plans.
He takes a dove, and bites it's head off in front of the execs.
Unsurprisingly, the execs are none too pleased at this, and have security escort him. None the less, it was the start od his solo infamy, and his career later took off. Maybe it turned out to be good luck.
6 p.m.
• So I saw this list, looked through the first few questions, and figured it would be worth doing to waste time. All these answers were the first things that came to mind.
Questions for those of us who live in Pittsburgh, PA
1. Primanti's or Pierogies?:
Primanti's by far. For those that don’t know, it’s a sandwich place. Some people treat this eatery as god-like, but I’m not nearly going to go that far. Been to one of these shops about a half-dozen times in my life. Liked the kielbasa.
2. Favorite ride at Kennywood?:
The line isn’t bad and the ride is solid. However, as a kid the Logjammer was my favorite. No, I’m not Catholic
3. Favorite mall?:
Now – Westmoreland Mall. Monroeville Mall has too many black people and Ross Park Mall turned too upscale during my Shittsburgh hiatus.
4. What school district did you go to?:
Hampton. Home of the Talbots. Even though I went there, this government school generally produced good students.
5. Which grocery store:
Giant Eagle. Long live the personal scanner.
6. Kennywood or Sandcastle?:
Kennywood, although Sandcastle water park is where I first met the better half. Then again, Kennywood in a landslide of Reagan/Mondale proportions.
7. Penguins, Pirates or Steelers?:
Hmmm. Pirates last. I like football over hockey, but the Steeler fans here are batshit. Give me the Pens, I guess.
8. Favorite event:
When I drive through the city every weekday on my way home to the cozy suburbs. Second thought: Opening Day for the Pirates; it’s always fun to watch them get blown out and crush the pennant dreams of the remaining delusional fans who think they have a chance at winning.
9. The Strip, South Side or Station Square?:
None. If forced to pick – the South Side. My last job had me go there for a vendor. That’s all.
10. Favorite place to see live music [indoor and outdoor]?
None. I don’t go to concerts. If I want to hear a song, I’ll get a CD.
11. Favorite Dave and Andy's ice cream flavor?
Who?
12. Favorite thing to eat at Eat N Park?
Chicken Parmesan in meat sauce with the soup and salad bar, even though the salad bar chili is shit.
13. Favorite movie theater?
Don’t go to the theater that often (as regular readers would know). If I do, my favorite is the Destinta that’s only 5 minutes from my house. Location, location, locations.
14. Which part of Pittsburgh do you currently live in?
I don’t. You think I’m stupid?
15. What's the worst area to be in late at night?
The areas where you only see eyes and teeth: Homewood, Wilkensburg, et al.
16. Favorite museum?
N*gga plz. OK, I’ll answer. Carnegie Museum of Natural History because they have dinosaurs.
18. Yinz or pop?
Pop.
19. Have you seen the view of the city from Mount Washington?
Yes.
20. Do you ever ride with Port Authority?
Ugh. Don’t remind me of my college days.
21. Have you ever eatin "O" fries?
Huh?
22. Do you like the Southside works complex or do you think it was waste of money?
With this being Shittsburgh, I’m sure they wasted a buttload of money. I don’t go there. I don’t care. I think that’s the place whose theater had a shooting during 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” movie release.
23. Should we have kept 3 Rivers Stadium or are you happy with Heinz field and PNC park?
I’ll never willingly go into either. I’ve talked about this subject before.
24. Do you ever wear black and gold?
I’m sure I have once or twice. I don’t the day before a Steeler game.
25. Have you ever stuck your feet in the Fountain at Point State Park?
Probably when I was a kid.
36. have you ever ridden the "T"?
See number …. How the hell did this go from “25” to “36”?
37. How do you pronounce a gyro?
”J-eye-row.”
38. Do you like Donny Iris?
When I don’t have to hear him (or is it her)?
39. Do you like The Clarks?
I don’t listen to them so I’m indifferent.
40. Do you like Michael Keaton?
After what he said about the Pirates last year, hell yeah.
41. Favorite River name?
Allegheny, I guess. Although I love the name of the HOT MEATAL BRIDGE.
42. What do you think of UPMC?
Mrs. kkk worked there for a spell. That paid the bills. Every medical organization is a clusterfuck. Good thing the Democrats will give us FREE government health care.
43. Terry Bradshaw or Ben Roethlisberger?
Big Ben. I never had a problem with Bradshaw until I heard him talking politics a few times on Fox. Katherine Harris was Florida’s Attorney General -- lol.
44. Do you think the Pens deserve a new arena?
I’ve talked about this before.
45. Despite all the polls/reports that Pittsburgh is the dirtiest city in America, do you agree?
I never heard of this before. How can it be dirty when everybody’s leaving?
46. How much do you love Pittsburgh?
Do I really need to comment?
47. Do you think they should allow casinos in Pittsburgh?
Already happened. I can’t wait until this isn’t the be-all solution region “leaders” are making this out to be. And that’s why I live in Westmoreland County.
48.Do you like PNH?
Who? What?
49.Have you ever attended a Pittsburgh Sports event(Steeler Game, etc.)?:
Yep.
50. Which do you like more--Panthers or Nittany Lions?
Neither, but if I have to answer it would be the Panthers. Then again, that’s like asking me who I like more: Hillary Clinton or nl-asshole.
51. If your parent worked for University of Pittsburgh and you could attend it for free would you go?
All academia institutions are the same. Go where you can get the best deal. I’d mooch.
52. Do you hate the Cleveland Browns?
No. But it’s sad when there’s a city out there that Pittsburghers can goof on. Other than Cleveland and Detroit, the pickings are slim.
8 p.m.
• I heard this trailer was out. Ugh.
I wasn't able to watch RAW on Monday, and I wasn't able to watch ECW, nor am I going to be able to watch Smackdown this Friday. So, to fill this space, I figured I could put something good up.
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The opening video to this event is great...haven't seen this one in 4 or 5 years, I think. Michael Cole is on commentary with Jerry Lawler...oh no. Rock vs. Mankind and Austin vs. McMahon. OMG!
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The first match on the card is Goldust vs. Bluedust.
Blow-by-blow: Bluedust = Blue Meanie. The backstory is ridiculous, I can't really get into it without wasting space. Goldust starts the match with a spinebuster, and punches away at Bluedust, who bails to the outside after a clothesline. Goldust goes to grab him after a stall, but Bluedust gains control and humps Goldust's leg during a spinning toehold inside the ring. Goldust kicks him away, and pulls up Bluedust's outfit so that his ass shows. Thanks for that. Goldust goes for SHATTERED DREAMS, but that misses. Bluedust goes up top and misses a moonsault, which gives Goldust the opening for a CURTAIN CALL, which also gets the three count at 3:08. After the match, Goldust gives Bluedust SHATTERED DREAMS.
Match Analysis: Usually, I'd just DUD this. But it's offensive, so -*. Self explanatory, isn't it? One of those things that makes me embarassed to be watching this, at that.
On Sunday Night Heat, Vince McMahon called Steve Austin to the ring and spat on him. What a fellow.
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The next match is Al Snow w/Head vs. Bob Holly for the vacant WWF Hardcore Championship.
Blow-by-blow: Man, I miss this belt. Snow attacks at the beginning of the match, and tosses Holly over the top rope. Say goodbye to the ring, cause that's the last you'll see it during this match. I can't believe that Bob Holly still has this "tough-guy, rah rah rah I'm hardcore" gimmick after all this time. Hell, I didn't even think he'd be around 3 years later. They brawl through the crowd, and Holly slams Snow on some stairs as they go toward the back of the arena. Holly extinguishes Snow's head, and he hits Snow over the head with a glass cup. Snow extinguishes Holly, but Holly hits Snow with one of those, watch out for the wet floor signs. Holly hits Snow with a garbage can, but Snow comes back and hits Holly with a telephone. Snow then throws a garbage can at Holly, but Holly grabs a few floor tiles and breaks them over Snow's head. Holly hits Snow with a beer cooler, and with a pan. Snow gains control, and breaks some mops over the back of Holly. Perry Saturn cries. They're outside, where Snow covers Holly for a 2 count. Snow rams Holly into a production truck, but Holly grabs a "no parking" sign and hits Snow with it. They inch closer and closer to the river, but before they get down there, a whole lot of stuff happens. Snow rams Holly into a concrete wall, but Holly makes a comeback and rams him into steel fencing. Snow returns the favor, and chokes Holly with barbed wire. For some reason, there's a stop sign lying around in the brush near the river, so Holly picks it up and clobbers Snow with it. They're at the river now, where Bob Holly moves a wheelbarrow. WHAT? Holly rams Snow into a tree, and hits him with some object that was hanging from said tree. Snow chokes Holly, which allows him to toss Holly into the frigid Mississippi River. Man, I loved watching this when I was younger. Holly slams Snow into the water when Snow charges at him, and hits him with a tire. Snow comes back with a shoe to the face of Holly (yes, they find all this stuff on the ground), and grabs a rolled up section of steel fencing. He opens it up, but Holly hits him with a stick in the back, and wraps Snow up in the fencing, which allows him to gain a pinfall for the victory at 9:58. The fencing kept Snow from kicking out, so Bob Holly is our new Hardcore Champion. Holly goes to the ring to grab the title, as Snow is trapped outside in the freezing cold.
Match Analysis: Man, that was fun, and a reminder of what the Hardcore Title used to allow us to see. Now, I know that NOT having the Hardcore Title leads to backstage brawls and that sort of stuff being portrayed as meaning more, but honestly, I think fans would like it if they saw this sort of stuff all the time, as opposed to once or twice a year. But that's just my opinion. Anyhow, this match showed most of what was good about the Hardcore division. It also showed a lot of what was bad about it, that meaning you can only push the out-of-arena brawls so far. **1/2. The match held up, surprisingly.
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Prior to our next match, WWF.com had a camera backstage with the MINISTRY OF DARKNESS. You know, four of the people in this group have been a World Champion at some point in their career? No shit. I don't count the TNA Title (or the current NWA Title) as a World Title, though. Sorry, Christian. Not that I'm saying he was a bad champion or would be a bad champion if he had it again, but if you had told me BRADSHAW would hold the WWE Title, I would've laughed at you. If you'd have told me he'd do it with a stockbroker gimmick, I'd have laughed harder.
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Unfortunately, that promo leads to bigger and more terrible things. By that, I mean that Mideon is facing the Big Bossman.
Blow-by-blow: While I liked Bossman's later persona, this cannot be good. Mideon carries an eye to the ring in a jar filled with yellow liquid, honestly, I think it looks like he pissed in it. They lock-up to start, and Bossman gains control at the outset with a shoulderblock. Bossman chokes Mideon with his boot, and tells the ringside crowd to kiss his ass. Gee. Mideon clotheslines Bossman afterward, but The Guardian Angel quickly tosses Mideon over the top rope. Bossman grabs a chair to hit Mideon with, but swings and hits the ringpost instead. Mideon bites him, and rams his hand into the steel steps. Bossman gives Mideon a nice "rope-clothesline," and we go back in. Bossman chokes, and Mideon returns the favor soon after. This heel vs. heel stuff just doesn't work. Bossman grabs onto his nose to get Mideon to stop, and splashes onto him in the corner. Why is this on PPV? A gigantic "BORING" chant commences, as Bossman applies a full-nelson on Mideon. Mideon reverses the hold and gives Bossman a back suplex, for a 2 count. Bossman tries a powerbomb, but Mideon backdrops him, as they both clothesline each other in the center of the ring. Back up, and after a Mideon back elbow, we get the BOSSMAN SLAM for the win at 6:20. After the match, the Ministry makes their way to ringside. Oh no. Is this going to be a bloodbath? Well, the lights go out, and here comes the Undertaker. Bossman is down in the ring as Taker is in the aisleway, and Viscera splashes Bossman three times. Everyone except Taker and Bearer carry him to the back...we all know where this goes and how dumb it got before it ended. You can say that for every single storyline Vince Russo has ever written.
Match Analysis: Another awful match. Another awful rating, although on a different premise. DUD. I never want to see any part of this again.
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Before our next match, Mark Henry, D'Lo Brown and Ivory are with Kevin Kelly, for an interview. We see a clip of Ivory arguing with Debra on Heat, which brings us to...
Mark Henry and D'Lo Brown w/ Ivory vs. Jeff Jarrett & Owen Hart w/Debra for the WWF Tag Team Titles.
Blow-by-blow: Before the match, Sexual Chocolate gives Ivory a Valentine's Day present. I'll give Vince Russo some credit here, he made Mark Henry entertaining. After all this time, nobody else has figured out how to do that. Owen and Henry start, and Henry pounds away at him. He clotheslines Owen, and tags in D'Lo, who gives Owen a back elbow. Owen gives D'Lo a bulldog, and he tags in Jarrett, who dropkicks him. D'Lo powerslams Jarrett in return, and slams Owen before clotheslining both of them. Owen tries to kick D'Lo, who pushs him off the apron. That allows Jarrett to give D'Lo a single arm DDT, which causes Owen to come in, for a double team. They both clothesline D'Lo, and Owen clotheslines D'Lo at the corner, before tagging in Jarrett. Owen gives D'Lo a spinebuster, and Jarrett comes off the 2nd rope with a fistdrop for 2. Owen tries for a suplex, but D'Lo reverses it into one of his own. D'Lo goes for the tag, but Owen gives him an enziguri in order to prevent it. Jarrett tags in, and along with Owen he gives D'Lo a double back elbow for 2. Jarrett goes to a short chinlock, and when Owen tags in, he gives D'Lo a spinning heel kick for 2. Owen brings Henry in via distraction, and D'Lo comes back with a crossbody for 2. Owen charges into D'Lo shoulderfirst, and goes for a 10 punch in the corner...which gets reversed into a SKY HIGH. Jarrett and Henry tag in, but Henry misses an avalanche in the corner. D'Lo dropkicks both of his opponents, and gives Jarrett a SKY HIGH for 2. D'Lo slams Owen, and legdrops him, as Debra gets onto the ring apron. Ivory comes over to argue with her, as D'Lo separates them. While this is going on, Owen hits Henry in the knee with the GUITAR, which leads Jarrett to apply the FIGURE-FOUR, for the win at 9:34. Jarrett and Owen retain, but after the match, Ivory tries to rip Debra's clothes off. Jarrett stops that, and covers Debra up with he and Owen's tag titles.
Match Analysis: Not the best match, but better than some of the other stuff that's been on this show. *1/2. Liked the finish, even though I generally hate the guitar use...but seeing as Owen Hart won the match, yes, I like it.
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Kevin Kelly is with Mankind, you see, on Heat, he was attacked by the Rock, and bludgeoned in the knee with some sort of weapon.
Before the next match, there's a Val Venis/Ken Shamrock hype video...
Obviously, that means that our next match is Val Venis w/Ryan Shamrock vs. Ken Shamrock with Billy Gunn as the guest referee, for the Intercontinental Title.
Blow-by-blow: I'd rather not talk about the Ryan Shamrock thing. Not only that, but this storyline goes the route that you'd expect it to go, that being the land of "this makes no sense." The whole Hello, Ladies thing commences, until Ken Shamrock runs out and attacks Venis. He didn't get the better of it, meaning that he was clotheslined and worked over in the corner. Val Venis takes him down with a snapmare, and Gunn counts the fall slowly, although it still gets 2. Shamrock takes Venis to the buckle, and clotheslines him, before kicking him twice in the back. Shamrock forearms Venis, on the outside of the ring, and they quickly come back in. Shamrock slams Venis, and kneedrops him after choking away. Shamrock goes for a suplex, but Venis blocks it, and gives him an inverted atomic drop. Crowd's dead, and has been all night. Look at the last PPV from Memphis I reviewed...the crowd reaction was the same. Why does WWE still run PPV's in Memphis? Venis chokes Shamrock, and elbowdrops him for a slow 2 count. VEnis gives Shamrock a double-underhook suplex, and a backbreaker submission.Venis gives up on that, and slams Shamrock into the ringpost outside the ring. Venis gives Shamrock a chinlock, and a surfboard style pinning combination for a 2 count. Val goes to a chinlock for a while, and knees Shamrock in the gut when they get up for 2. Venis drops Shamrock along the top rope, and he chokes Shamrock with his boot. Shamrock comes back with a high kick, and a DDT for a 2 count, seeing as Gunn wouldn't count. Shamrock gives Venis a back suplex during a Venis sleeperhold, and Ken follows it up with a powerslam for 2. Venis gives Shamrock a fisherman's suplex for 2, and Shamrock counters soon after with a la magistral for a 2 count. Venis gives Shamrock a russian leg sweep, and gyrates, before mounting Shamrock and punching away at him. Venis is doing everything, but there's this one little problem so far. SHAMROCK ISN'T SELLING. His face has stayed the same all bout, I'm serious. Venis goes to the top, but Shamrock slams him off and gives him a hurricanrana for a 1 count. Shamrock gives Venis a belly-to-belly suplex, and applies the ANKLE LOCK. Ryan Shamrock pulls Venis to the ropes, and Shamrock goes to the outside, to confront their sister. Shamrock is starting to GET INTO THE ZONE, so she slaps him. Billy Gunn tries to prevent things from setting off, but Shamrock pushes him. Gunn hits Shamrock and tosses him into the ring, where Venis gives him a small package (harharhar) for 3 at 15:53. We have a new Intercontinental Champion, that being Val Venis. After the match, Shamrock attacks Gunn. After Gunn gets up, he runs back to the ring and attacks Val Venis. Yippie.
Match Analysis: Needless to say, that title change didn't mean shit. With the Gunn thing, it became an after thought. Even worse, the Billy Gunn/Ken Shamrock thing was never paid off, making this all a gigantic waste of time. They blew their chance to make Gunn the IC Champ at the Royal Rumble. Too bad. Match was nothing great, and that being the fault of Ken Shamrock. *1/2.
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Part two of our program is next, as is HHH and X-Pac vs. Kane and Chyna. First there's a video, because Chyna split from DX, you see.
Blow-by-blow: The full DX entrance finally gets the crowd exited, as does HHH wiping his ass with one of those Chyna Syndrome shirts and throwing it at her. Shane McMahon's on commentary, which is nice. He's a funny guy. HHH and Kane start, when HHH attacks him. Kane clotheslines HHH, but misses a charge to the corner, although he comes right back out with a clothesline. Kane misses an elbowdrop, which allows X-Pac to tag in. Or should I say, "X-Punk." Chyna comes in, and shoulderblocks X-Pac, but she misses a charge to the corner. X-Pac goes for the BRONCOBUSTER, but he misses, and Kane tags back in. He and Chyna argue, so X-Pac kicks Kane. Kane chokes him, but HHH attacks him and goes back to the corner, so he can tag in. HHH goes to the top, and clotheslines Kane, but Chyna hits him, allowing Kane to regain control. Kane slams HHH, and goes up to the top, where he clotheslines HHH. Chyna comes in, and tries a suplex on HHH, but HHH reverses it, which Chyna counters as well. Chyna slams HHH, but misses an elbow drop, allowing X-Pac to tag in. Kane tags in too, but misses a charge to the corner. HHH comes in, and DX gives Kane a double suplex. HHH slams Chyna off the top into Kane, and DX gives him a double DDT, before clotheslining him over the top rope. Kane pulls X-Pac out of the ring, and they fight, but Kane hits the ringpost on accident. X-Pac hits Shane O-Mac, and we go back into the ring. X-Pac tries a spinning heel kick, but Kane catches him and slams him to the canvas. Chyna tags in, and powerslams X-Pac for a 2 count. Kane rams X-Pac into the buckle after the tag, and clotheslines him. Chyna tags back in, and drops X-Pac, nut first onto the top rope for a 2 count. Chyna gives X-Pac a sleeper, but X-Pac back suplexes his way out of it. HHH makes the not-so-hot tag, and cleans house on Kane. HHH gives Chyna a high knee, but Kane pulls him over the top rope. X-Pac comes in during an apparent ref bump, and is finally able to give Chyna the BRONCOBUSTER! Shane comes in the ring, which causes X-Pac to chase him all the way to the back. HHH rams Kane into the steel steps, and tosses him back in, where he gives Chyna the knee-to-facebuster. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE on Chyna, but Kane chokeslams him and the ref awakens as Chyna pins HHH, for the win at 14:45.
Match Analysis: I read that Scott Keith gave this match ****. Wait a second. HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHA . Ok, now for what I thought about it. It was good, but not anything that I'd even think of giving a great rating to. Too much excess in the finish, but more than that, the crowd didn't do anything throughout. Crowd is KILLING this show dead, but I'll still give this **.
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There's an ambulance in the back, because they're putting over how brutal this match could be, and we also get a nice video package, featuring everything in this feud.
Yeah, that's right. It's THE ROCK vs. Mankind in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWF Championship.
Blow-by-blow: Everyone knows the rules. Everyone knows I generally do not like this stipulation. Mankind turns his back, much like at the Royal Rumble, and the Rock attacks him. When the "Rocky Sucks" chant starts, Mankind turns his back and then hits Rock with his title belt, which gets an 8 count. Mankind bites Rock, so Rock bails. They go to the back, where Mankind throws Rock into these little light structures they have up by the entrance. Mankind does it again, and they go a little further back up the aisle, where Rock gains control. Rock rams Mankind into the stage, but Mankind comes back and rams him into a table, before DDT'ing him THROUGH a table. Nice. They go back toward the ring, but Rock back suplexes him on the concrete. Ouch. At ringside, Mankind rams him into the steps, and brings him in for a...PEOPLE'S ELBOW! He misses it, and Rock knocks him out of the ring, before suplexing him three times on the floor at ringside. Rock goes on commentary to enlighten us, but Mankind tackles him, and clears the table for something crazy. Mankind places Rock on the table, and elbowdrops him from the apron, not breaking the table. Mankind powers water onto Rock, and brings steps into the ring. Rock kicks the stairs into Mick's face, and grabs a chair, that he hits Mankind with multiple times. Rock accidentally hits the top rope with a chair, and the chair backfires and hits him in the face. Mankind clotheslines him down to the floor, and attempts to piledrive him. He doesn't, so he just hits Rock instead, and gives him a swinging neckbreaker. He rams him into the announce table, and sets things up for a piledriver. Rock backdrops him off the table (Mick's head hit the table on the way down, and his leg hit the ring bell. Ouch.), and goes into the ring. Rock grabs the steel steps which were already in there, and throws them onto Mankind. Goodness. Back in, where Rock slams Mankind and gives him the CORPORATE ELBOW. Rock goes to grab a mic, as that move only got a 5 count. Rock sings us a fantastic song, until Mankind applies a MANDIBLE CLAW, which also happens to knock the referee outside of the ring. Mankind makes the referee count to 9, until the Rock gets up and lowblows Mankind. Rock gives Mankind a DDT, which only gets a 5 count. Rock swings and misses with a chair, so Mankind double arm DDT's him onto it, for a 9 count. SOCKO, but Rock lowblows Mankind. SOCKO again, but we get ROCK BOTTOM, for an 8 count. Both get up, grab a chair, and hit each other at the same time, which causes both to be down for a 10 count at 21:53. Both do stretcher jobs, as the crowd shits all over the match. Fuck you guys, you don't deserve to be rewarded with a good finish to anything. Both wrestlers leave in ambulances...yes, Mick Foley really went out on his back.
Match Analysis: Draw knocks a bit off, but this was great. Loved the in-match promo, and the overall violence that took place. I'll probably watch this one again before the program expires. ***3/4. Better than the I Quit match, I dare say.
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Our main event, preceded by a hype video, is Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon in a Steel Cage Match. If Austin wins, he gets a shot at the WWF Champion at WrestleMania. No Corporate members are allowed to interfere, or they'll be FIRED!
Blow-by-blow: I can't believe this was 9 years ago. NINE! This is the first "Austin era" show I've reviewed, as well. I began timing when Vince hit Austin for the first time, which he did when Austin was trying to enter the cage. Before that, Austin was inside, not allowing Vince to enter. Austin falls off the cage, and feigns injury...once Vince comes over, Austin clotheslines him at ringside, and they fight into the crowd. Uh, even though I know that they get in the cage, there's a serious logic flaw in this booking. I don't even know if I've seen a main event from the Attitude Era without an "in the crowd" portion. Vince goes up the stairs to leave, but Austin brings him back down to ringside. Vince and Austin try to climb up the cage, but Austin knocks Vince off and through the Spanish Announce Table. YES! A stretcher comes to the ring, which makes Austin grab a mic. He says that he didn't win. "You think this is over, ah-ah." So he goes out, chases down the stretcher, and rams it into the steel cage. He hits him with the stretcher, and tosses McMahon into the cage, starting the actual match after 12:23 (my time). Austin clotheslines Vince, as the crowd has definitely awakened for this one. Austin goes up to the 2nd rope, and elbowdrops Vince, then he does the same thing again. Austin is about to leave the cage, but Vince gives him the finger. Ha. Austin returns to the ring, to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry on Vince McMahon. Vince lowblows Austin, and rams Austin into the cage. Vince climbs up the cage, but Austin pulls him back down and rams him right into the cage. Austin rams him into the cage again, which makes Vince bleed. Austin goes to leave via climbing up and out of the cage, but once he gets near the floor, Vince gives him two middle fingers. Austin goes back in, and rams Vince into the cage, before a STONE COLD STUNNER. Austin goes to leave the cage, but Paul Wight (the Big Show/Giant) comes through the ring and rams Austin into the cage. Wight tosses Austin hard as possible into the cage, which causes the cage door to break and swing open, giving Austin room to get his feet onto the floor, winning the bout at 20:26. That's also the end of the show.
Match Analysis: Not the greatest match...it doesn't really hold up all that well. Just like this show, I'd say. Anyhow, it was basically a 20 minute squash. *1/2. Wasnt' even close to being Vince's best match.
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Rating: Ah...this one was VERY close to being put in the terrible category. Lots of crap. Lots of *1/2 stuff, too. I think I use that rating more than any other, but that isn't by coincidence. I suppose I have to call it...bad. Honestly, had I ordered it, I would've been pissed off. Non-finish in the WWF Title match, stupid finish in the main, and crap for almost the entirety of the show.
Best Segment: Rock vs. Mankind in Last Man Standing.
Worst Segment: Goldust vs. Bluedust. Awful.
All that said, I'm glad I watched this. It was a good nostalgia trip to an era that (match quality aside) I still enjoy for some reason. Yeah, I know a lot of dumb stuff happened, but that doesn't bother me at all. Could've been worse, as in, they could've posted WrestleMania XV.
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I'll either put the RAW/Nitro review up tomorrow, or on Sunday. I'll be gone all day Saturday.
So Phase II of George W.'s plan to kill all the black people in New Orleans has kicked in.
Link
I love this line:
Well, no shit. They're temporary trailers for a reason. The question of why these people are still living in these temporary trailers when they've had almost two and a half years to find a more permanent residence is one I'd love to have answered. I'm afraid to ask it though because doing so would probably only get me called a racist.
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It's Valentine's Flower and Greeting Card Day! I ordered a dozen roses for sfaJill (but no card--gotta draw the line somewhere) because I'm an idiot who enjoys spending $80 on flowers that will be dead by Sunday. She tried to trick me by saying the other day that it would be OK if I didn't get her anything. Yeah, right. I might be a naive new husband who hasn't caught on to all the tricks of married life...but I know better than that!
Bitch better put out tonight though.
So I decided to watch Jericho last night to see what all the hubub is about. I wanted to find out what the deal was with the nuclear attacks, who was behind it, etc. Turns out that it was an inside job. Yep, forces in the U.S. government and/or U.S. military were behind the attack. Sound familiar? Is Alex Jones and other 911 truthers creative consultants on this show? I regret the space wasted on my DVR.
I made the mistake of turning on Rome today and of course he commented on the Quinn thing. "It better not be true." "I know you're smarter than that Brady." Yeah Jim, it's a real surprise a football player would rip on gays. Am I the only one who knows that there is a bigtime culture in football that is not hardcore anti-gay but is in fact steeped in gay jokes and the like. John Feinstein acknowledged this when he wrote his book on the Army Navy football rivalry. He encountered it while traveling with the teams for his book.
The real story here is not what Quinn did or didn't say, it is rather the ridiculous overreaction of the ghey guy. Calling 911 emergency over a verbal insult? You're foolish, sir.
Since 1995 I have played the computer version of Strat-O-Matic Baseball which might as well be Dungeons & Dragons for baseball geeks. I always order the updated version of the game online but they still send me the mail order form along with some little newsletter. I usually just glance at it and throw it away but something caught my eye this time. SportingNews.com in recent years has run some sort of fantasy baseball version of Strat-O-Matic but I've never been interested in it as it costs $25 a team. Well apparently very soon they will be running a free game that will be based on the 1986 MLB season where you can make up your own team of players from 1986. They are doing in conjunction with their 1986 Take Two promotion where "celebrities" are replaying that season. From what I know of with the Sporting News version of the game the leagues are 12 teams each, you draft 25 man rosters with a salary cap, and play a 162 game season. You don't actually "play" each other as the games are simulated but you can make trades and make line up adjustments during the season.
So I pose the question to my three blog readers...would anyone be interested in doing this? The website say it's a limited offer so I have no idea if I'll even be able to create a league but it sounds like an interesting alternative to typical fantasy baseball and best of all it's free. If I get a feeling that there will be enough interest on the board I'll probably create a thread for it in the Sports folder when they starting take sign ups, which will be February 27th.
8:15 p.m.
• With smokes costing an arm and leg over here, one might wonder how Big Tobacco stays in business. Here's how.
Damn. And those people stink enough as it is already. Too bad when I get my eventual heart attack/stroke one of them will be towering over me on the operating table. Oh, back to this link. Does any of this sound familiar?
• Good God, this took place (allegedly) on New Year's Day. Say, the Browns got rid of Jeff Garcia after one season -- maybe that, too, was a HATE CRIME. Jeff, you're not fooling anybody with that "wife" of yours.
• Uh-oh.
I love the quote at the end. If these newspapers are going to counter the towel-head wackos pissed off over a cartoon, what else are they supposed to do other than re-print it -- write a mean editorial? I bet many of the rioters probably can't even read.
Might as well join in this solidarity movement.
Oops, wrong Photobucket image. There we go.
While I am currently employed, I really hate my job. Well let me clarify, the job itself is ok, but the pay sucks, there is no room for advancement and my boss is not someone that is a joy to work for, more or less I try to hide from her and have as little contact as possible except when absolutely necessary.
I took the day off work today(I have about 88 sick hours at my disposal) to interview with sutter about an administrative assistant job. My wife works for sutter as a Medical Assistant, so going into the interview I was pretty confident. To my dismay, the very first words out of the panel's mouth was "we just want to clarify that we reviewed that online description and the job is not as entry level as the description makes it seem" GREAAAAAAAAAAT. There goes my confidence down the toilet. Truth be told, I am pretty well versed in MS Office programs. I am strong in Word, Outlook, Powerpoint, Intermediate in Excel, and a novice when it comes to Access. During the interview I found out that this position is kind of one of those positions where you just kind of get thrown assignments and projects your way and it is just kind of up to you to figure out how to get them done. There is no set structure, it is just a "find a way to get it done" enviornment. Well this immediately set my "no thanks" meter off, but for $16/hr I decided to keep the interview going. Anyways, by the end of the interview I got the vibe that they liked me but didn't think I have enough experience in excel and this type of enviornment for the job, and I am perfectly fine with their observation because it is accurate. I am just kind of dissapointed that the online description wasn't more clear because I hate taking days off work to follow leads that turn out to be a waste of time.
On the subject of looking for work in general. It fucking sucks. Is it me or have temp agencies basically taken over websites such as craigslist and monster.com ? I remember back in the day at least when you applied for jobs on there, you had a good chance of applying for full-time work. Now, no matter what category you choose, it is 90% temp agencies that aren't really offering a job, just a chance to come down to the office, fill out massive amounts of paperwork and then go back home sit around and hope you get a phone call(yes I have dealt with temp agencies in the past).
So to anyone reading this, what methods have you found the most successful when searching for work? Do you just dress up, get in the car, drive around and collect applications? I am almost to the desperation point of doing that because the internet is becoming less of a resource for quality jobs and more of a way for temp agencies to fill head-hunting quotas.
So, you might have noticed that I'm once again an active member of forums.thesmartmarks.com. (Or maybe you hadn't noticed. Whatever.)
For a while, I was completely gone.
And then I was a lurker that just corresponded with people via Personal Messages.
But I was advised that that's not the best usage of a message board. And a board as stellar as TSM deserves nothing but the best.
So, I'm back.
7:45 p.m.
• So today we got hit with our first “big” snow/ice storm of the season. Eh. I left work early because we were going to getting ice mid-morning. Wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but the commute was twice as long as normal because of slow traffic. Most times, the weather isn’t the problem – it’s the other drivers on the road.
• This past weekend was mostly spent with Mrs. kkk hanging out and watching movies to help her cope with our recent “family” situation. As the days went on, it seemed to be working. Now I’m expecting this to linger for some time, and that’s OK. I’m not going to put a timetable on this sort of thing; she can feel however she wants. On Sunday night, we were going to watch one more movie before going to bed. I decided to get something from our “new” stack that we haven’t seen yet: “High Crimes.” I remember watching this with her years ago and it’s a typical “Kiss the Girls/Along Came a Spider” film with Morgan Freeman. Even though I remember the ending, I don’t recall much more than that. And of course guess what happens at the start of the film? Ashley Judd’s character finding out she’s preggers.
Fuck.
9 p.m.
• We're sorry. Our bad.
• Don't you know that flaunting the color red is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
• Take a guess as to where this story is from. The answer is in the spoiler text.
7 p.m.
• So the better half and I got our taxes done by the H&R Block chick that Mrs. kkk has gone to for years. This year we overpaid $2500. Wait, did I say “overpay”? I meant WE’RE GETTING $2500 BABY~! Sadly, the better half does that thing where they take more out of your paycheck; I’ve just let this issue be one of those things we just have to agree to disagree on. Oh well, at least this lady is funny. Last year I made some right-wing remarks while sitting there and this year was no exception. I really don’t remember what I said because I came in toward the end of our appointment (was held up at work), but I think it had something to do what that “stimulus” package Congress is passing/just passed. Our tax lady was talking about it and I asked if illegals will be sucking on this government teet. (I heard some rumblings that they could.) She said “no,” and I replied “at least not until that bitch gets elected.” Our pseudo-accountant began laughing out loud and said if Hitlery gets elected she’s moving to Canada. Uh, why? They already have their government health care. Then again, our friends north of the border don’t have 300 million people to deal with.
• I’ll tell you what – for a Republican to be this close in the polls is actually surprising for me.
Then again, it’s McCain. I lifted this from the other place.
• Even though Obama is a bigger dumbfuck than Hitlery, it'd be nice to see him get the nomination because that would mean the Hildabeast would probably never run for President again. After all, if anyone is willing to make her a running mate, I hope to God that person has a phat life insurance policy signed.
I'll preface this by saying that I got the dates for the matches on this from thehistoryofthewwe.com. Without it, writing these would be harder. As a big Savage fan, watching this is...well, gold.
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In the opening of the program, Gene Okerlund says that Randy Savage doesn't deserve Elizabeth. Somehow, that brings us to...
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Well, Hulk Hogan's about to face a guy named Rusty Brooks, on Championship Wrestling from 10/22/85. For some reason, Randy Savage and Elizabeth are at ringside. Elizabeth gets in the ring, and asks why Hogan doesn't wrestle anyone with credentials. OUCH. Brooks attacks Hulk, but he HULKS UP BROTHER, clothesline, bodyslam, DROP THE FUCKING LEG for the three count at 37 seconds. 1/2*. After the bout, Savage attacks Hogan, only to be thwarted and tossed out of the ring. The crowd was nuts and the angle was great, so all in all, good addition to the "tape."
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Hogan vs. Savage from MSG on 1/27/86 is joined in progress...remember, I don't review JIP's, but if clipped and I don't notice, then it's ok. Macho's wearing the crimson mask, and after ramming Hogan into the ringpost, he wins via countout.
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Now we get a full match, that being Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan in a Lumberjack Match for the WWF Title, from 2/17/86 at MSG. The lumberjacks are...George Steele, the Hart Foundation, King Kong Bundy, Dan Spivey, Don Muraco, Barry O, Les Thornton, Ricky Steamboat, Tony Atlas, Lanny Poffo, Nikolai Volkoff, the Iron Sheik, and Corporal Kirchner.
Well, this sounds good. Savage attacks Hogan at the beginning of the match, but Hulk comes back with a few rights and a clothesline. Hogan's ribs are taped, as we notice when he rips off his shirt, and he hits Savage a few times with his title belt. Hogan gives Savage a back suplex, and tosses him to the outside. The lumberjacks do not do their job, giving Savage time to collect his thoughts. It seemed not to have worked, though, because Savage came in and was tossed around. Hogan rammed him into the ringpost during a bearhug, and hit him with a running elbow to the head. Savage was then given an atomic drop, but Hogan's momentum was stopped after King Kong Bundy distracted him by pulling his leg. Hogan hit Bundy, but Savage capitalized with a knee to the back and a double axhandle from the top rope, which gets a 3 count. Savage tosses Hogan out, and all the heel lumberjacks beat on Hogan, with Muraco and Bundy doing most of the work. Savage tosses Hogan out when he gets back in the ring, and the same thing happens again. Savage goes up top and gives Hogan another double axhandle from the top rope for a 2 count, and a clothesline for a 2 count. Savage pulls the tape off Hogan's ribs, and comes off the top rope with another double axhandle to the ribs for 2. Savage then gives Hogan a kneedrop for 2, and an elbowdrop for 2. Savage chokes Hogan along one of the ropes, and gives him another axhandle for 2. Ok, it's starting to get repetitive. Savage goes up to the top, AND DROPS THE ELBOW. It gets 2, cause it's time to HULK UP BROTHER. 3 punches, big boot, but Savage rakes Hogan's eyes. They begin to CRISS-CROSS, but George Steele trips up Savage, so Hogan DROPS THE FUCKING LEG for 3 at 7:37. ***. Nice finish.
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From Tuesday Night Titans, we have the segment where George Steele sends Elizabeth flowers with turnbuckle stuffing inside the box. My favorite part of that segment was when Savage told the delivery guy, "I'll TAKE YOU OUT, BOY!" It's impossible not to laugh at that.
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There's a match from the 4th Saturday Night's Main Event which pits George Steele and Randy Savage against each other, but I'm not going to review it. My policy dictates that I can't, no matter how bad it may be. When they post that event in full, I will.
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Mean Gene is at Macho's house now, interviewing these two people who wanted to meet Savage before their honeymoon(?). Savage pulled up in a limo, so Liz gives Gene a tour of the pool area. Savage is working out, but he stops when Gene approaches him. So they talk. Gene asked Savage about the Intercontinental Title, but Savage says that he only NEEDS the World Title, and his career will be over. Macho Madness is more seductive than sex, YEAH. These two groups offered Savage a ton of money to do things for them, but he said no thanks. The new wife (that was out front) jumped in the pool, but Savage wanted her OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, YEAHHHHHHHHHH!
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Next was a JIP version of Savage's Intercontinental Title win over Tito Santana at the Boston Garden from 2/8/86, which not only got Savage the title belt, but helped to further the Danny Davis angle later on. Do I need to cover that, or does everyone know what that is? Anyway, Savage won after hitting Tito with a foreign object. It was great.
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We're now at Jesse Ventura's Body Shop, with Savage as the guest. As the new Intercontinental Champion, Savage said he'd let Elizabeth hold the belt. NOT SO FAST. He changed his mind.
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Tito Santana had his rematch against Randy Savage on 3/16/86 at Madison Square Garden, but it's joined in progress. We got to see quite a bit of the action, and when Tito applied a figure-four leglock, Savage pulled the referee down to the canvas, getting himself disqualified. Cool.
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There's another match between Santana and Savage (from 4/22/86) that's joined in progress, and it's also a NO DQ match. Savage bled like a champ, and when in the figure four, he slugged the referee in the head, so he wouldn't be counted down. Hey, there's no DQ. Tito rolled up Savage, but Savage reversed and held the tights to retain his title.
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In what is seemingly Tito Santana's last attempt, he'll face Randy Savage at MSG on 5/18/86 for the Intercontinental Title, and Bruno Sammartino is the special guest referee.
This was shown in full, thankfully. Tito starts things off with a wristlock, and he knocks Savage out of the ring. Seeing as that just occured, Savage is a little hesitant to engage with Santana. They lock up, and Savage armdrags Santana, before doing his little "wave my finger around in circles" taunt. Tito replies with an armdrag, but Savage takes him to the ropes with a headlock. Bruno breaks the hold, which causes Savage to argue with him. Tito sneaks up from behind and rolls Savage up for 2, which only makes Savage angrier. Savage chokes Tito at the ropes, and comes off the top with an axhandle. Savage knees Tito in the back, and takes him down to the canvas for a 2 count. Savage goes to the chinlock, but Tito elbows his way out, only to be thrown over the top rope and to the floor. BOMBS AWAY from Savage, and he throws Tito back in. Savage slams Tito, and gives him a kneedrop for 2. Tito headbutts Savage in response, and both collide in the center of the ring as Savage was running the ropes. Savage goes to the top, but Tito hits him on his way down, and knees Savage, knocking him out of the ring. Tito brings Savage back in, and rams his face into the mat a few times. Tito backdrops him, and goes for the FIGURE-FOUR, but Savage reaches the ropes. Tito charges at Savage in the corner, but eats Savage's knees for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a small package for two, and a clothesline. He goes for the FIGURE-FOUR again, but Savage pokes him in the eye. Savage gives Tito a gutwrench suplex for two, and goes for an atomic drop, which was reversed and turned into a FIGURE-FOUR. Some woman comes out of the crowd and attacks Tito, rest assured, that's Adrian Adonis, which gets Savage disqualified at 10:00. Savage attacks Bruno. Bruno takes a pounding, until Tito comes back in and stops the attack with a chair. ***1/2. Adonis' entry was a pretty good surprise, for me, anyway. Great match. So far, everything on this video has been worth watching.
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This brings us to Adrian Adonis and Randy Savage w/Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana and Bruno Sammartino at MSG on 6/14/86, but first, Gorilla Monsoon interviews Savage and Adonis. Good interview.
The heels attack at the beginning of the match, but Santana and Bruno clean them out and toss both over the top. The crowd is off the charts throughout the match, to touch on that. They brawl on the outside, until about 2:45, when they decide that they want the match to start. Bruno attacks Savage when Savage goes to the top, and he tosses Savage into Adonis. Bruno knees Savage for 2, and Tito tags in. Tito clotheslines Savage, and rams his face into the mat. Tito rams Savage into Bruno's boot, and then to the buckle. Bruno tags in, along with Adonis. Bruno armdrags him, and both babyfaces beat on Adonis Tito gives Adonis a crossbody for 2, and applies a headlock to Adonis. Adonis gives Santana a backsuplex, and both Bruno and Savage tag back in. Bruno gives Savage a big boot, and begins to work on Savage, but Adonis pulls Savage out of the ring to save him. Savage comes back in and begs, but Bruno stomps on him, knocking him out of the ring. Tito hits Savage with a chair, but Bruno's cover only gets a 2 count. Extremely fast paced, this is. Adonis tags in, as does Santana, and Adonis is able to gain control. He slams Tito, but misses a big splash off the top rope. Savage runs to the top rope, and gives Tito an axhandle so that he can't make the tag. Adonis slams Santana again, but he misses an elbowdrop. Savage and Bruno tag in, to begin the pier-six. Tito grabs Jimmy Hart, and Adonis hits him from behind, on the outside. Savage goes to the top, and it's BOMBS AWAY time for Bruno on the outside. And that gets Bruno and Tito counted out at around 9:42. ***3/4. Awesome stuff, to say the least.
Good end to the video...
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Rating: Excellent. Everything on this was must-see stuff.
Best Segment: Savage and Adonis vs. Bruno and Tito. Yeah.
Worst Segment: Uh, Savage vs. Steele from SNME, but while the actual match wasn't great, the excess stuff certainly was. It was a good segment, but everything else was better. That's how good this video was.
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I'll have a few star ratings for some ladder matches up on Tuesday, and RAW as well.
8 a.m.
• And what is Hitlery going to do when some Muslim country rags on her for being the White Devil/Great Satan/a general bitch in nature?
Wow. She won't appear on OMGFAUXNEWSLOL2008 and may not appear on MSNBC-sponsored debates. I thought the purpose of the primary season was to get on lots of media outlets only to run and hide once elected to office?
You know, I remember when Rush Limbaugh did some dog-fades-to-Chelsea image on his television back in the early 1990s, and he got rightfully blasted for it. However, if Hitlery is going to use her adult daughter to hawk for votes, then using the “p” word is seemingly appropriate. Besides, “pimp” has gained more of a meaning than its original intent. Say, what better time to take a trip down memory lane?
Well, now I feel like it.
When I was at the test-scoring facility in Ohio, we scored some state-assessment projects via computers and others by hand. The latter consisted of the students’ actual test papers and were delivered to us by mail. These papers were grouped in booklets, and there were a bunch of them to keep organized. To aid us in properly sorting out these hundreds (maybe even thousands – I can’t remember) of packets, we hired clerks. Basically, these were high-school students doing the summer job thing.
Well there was this one particular project in which we had a really good clerk, or at least that’s what I was told by my boss. Shrug. I didn’t mind getting up and taking my test-scoring group’s completed packets and putting them back in their initial boxes – it gave me a chance to get up from my chair. Then again, I’m sure the big bosses wanted someone who made less money to do this basic function, so I don’t blame them for getting us these assistants. Anyway, our clerk (I’ll call her Jen) was going to be out for a few days due to some operation and I wanted to know if we would be given another clerk or if our project was going to be clerk-less for a time. No big deal either way. I went to Jen’s boss Joe and asked him about this. Joe was a very soft-spoken guy and was great to work with. He was one of those guys who would hardly say a word, but then when he did it would be a great one-liner. When I asked him this question, he thought about it for a second and then said he was going to get this one clerk from this one project to help us out on one day. He then said that he would get this other clerk from this other project to aid us on another day. As he was mulling his options, I made the following remark, “Doesn’t this kind of make you like a ‘clerk pimp’?” He gave his usual laugh and that was that.
Or so I thought.
The next day my boss came up to me and was freaking out because two other people in this project who were also at my same management level were freaking out. When I asked why, my boss said that Jen wrote a letter to the clerks who were going to be help us out. This letter was just a basic “here’s where you put these completed packets/etc.” guide. However, there was one passage that brought on my co-worker’s ire.
Jen used the phrase “clerk pimp” to describe her boss Joe. The sentence read something like “Depending on which day the clerk pimp decides to send you over to our project…” and our two older co-workers read this and were enraged. I then responded to my boss that I was the one to came up with the “clerk pimp” term. He then laughed and said something like “Why am I not surprised? Well they are PISSED at Jen.”
Too fucking bad.
The only time I said “clerk pimp” was to Joe, so logic told me that Joe had to have said this phrase to his clerks. If Joe doesn’t care and Jen was writing a note that was intended for her fellow clerks, then my fellow test-scoring supervisors needed to take the sticks out of their respective asses. If not, then they need to get pissed at me because I’m the one who made this oh-so-wretched description.
As I went to my desk, I could tell these two older women were pissed. I can’t remember how this started, but they mentioned this offensive letter and I went right at them and said I was the one who came up with the term in a conversation with Joe and anyone had a problem with the choice of words then they should deal with me rather than Jen, who probably heard “clerk pimp” from her boss. The one lady then said the following:
“Do you know what a pimp does?”
I laughed. I laughed quite a bit, actually.
After a few days of pseudo-drama, the “clerk pimp” saga ended, although Jen was a little jittery once she heard of the OUTRAGE her letter caused. This was before I told her to let me know if anyone gave her grief about the phrase because I was the “clerk pimp” originator. Of course, nothing ever came of it, which didn’t surprise me. It’s a wonder how we got any work done there at times.
I proved last year that I'm the best mock drafter in the world. Here's my post-Combine, pre-Free Agency mock. It will be wrong of course. There's not enough info out there yet. But it's a fun exercise.
This mock is what I think will actually happen, not what I think should happen.
Last updated on 27 Feb.
1. Miami Dolphins: DE Chris Long — Realistically, it's between Long and Sedrick Ellis. I think they'll go with the more talented and versatile player rather than try to force the need at DT.
2. St. Louis Rams: DT Sedrick Ellis — Evidently, the thinking within the Rams is that the o-line will return from injuries and be good again this year. They will likely take a DT and move Carriker back to DE. They like Dorsey, but I think they'll be concerned enough about injuries that they'll want to play it safe with Ellis, who may be a better DT than Dorsey anyway.
3. Atlanta Falcons: QB Matt Ryan — It's either him or McFadden. McFadden ran a 4.33. So what? We all knew he was fast. He's not the number one running back on every team's board. After the Michael Vick ordeal, how could they take a guy who might be the next Vick or Pacman? He's already the next Travis Henry.
4. Oakland Raiders: DT Glenn Dorsey — They are going to be rebuilding their o- and d-lines through the draft, and so I doubt they take McFadden. They were the worst run defense last season, and so they'd love Dorsey, despite the long-term tibia concerns. The only question is whether they want to let Jake Long fall to a division opponent.
5. Kansas City Chiefs: OT Jake Long — Perfect scenario for the Chiefs: they dropped to the lowest possible spot, but they still get the guy they'd pick with the overall #1 selection. Nothing to debate here. The only guy who made him look silly in college was...
6. New York Jets: DE Vernon Gholston — I've been noticing a few signs here and there that this guy is the one they're really targeting. They could certainly use a ferocious pass rusher. I think they'll do the Vilma-for-Rogers trade to fix their DT spot. Gholston had a great Combine. Also, they most certainly want to prevent the Patriots from taking him.
7. New England Patriots (via SF): OT Ryan Clady — I think the Patriots will take the best player on the board who's not named McFadden. Clady isn't far behind Jake Long. They could use a better OT than Nick Kaczur. They can find another CB to fit into their system later. If they did pick a CB here, I think it would be Leodis McKelvin.
8. Baltimore Ravens: OT Chris Williams — The Ravens will be extremely irritated by the Patriots' selection, because the Ravens are dedicated to rebuilding their offensive line now that Jonathan Ogden is all but done. They will not take Brian Brohm.
9. Cincinnati Bengals: RB Rashard Mendenhall — Remember when the Colts picked Edge over Ricky? It'll be like that moment. The Bengals cannot take another 'character issues' guy, but, with the top guys at DE and OT gone, they'll want a RB. Mendenhall is fast and powerful, but Kenny Watson can retain his 3rd down role for now.
10. New Orleans Saints: RB Darren McFadden — I think the Saints will sign Asante Samuel. Although they need a LB, they'll decide that the possibility of McFadden and Bush together is impossible to pass up. McAllister is heading out the door.
11. Buffalo Leelees: DT Kentwan Balmer — I'm guessing they'll get a big WR in free agency. Again, LB would be an upgrade over DiGiorgio (and Ellison), but I think they'd rather have a DT, and Balmer is good enough to take here.
12. Denver Broncos: LB Keith Rivers — First, I think they'll trade Javon Walker and sign a free agent WR. With Balmer gone (or a DT acquired in FA). they target LB, because they want DJ Williams outside. Rivers is more athletic than Dan Connor and has the ability to play inside.
13. Carolina Panthers: RB Jonathan Stewart — QB isn't an urgent need as long as Delhomme's rehab is on schedule. I think they are really disappointed that their running game wasn't better last season. They dumped Foster, but it doesn't mean that DeAngelo is going to get to be the workhorse. Stewart can start and knock some bodies around so that Williams can come in and hit some home runs.
14. Chicago Bears: OT Jeff Otah — Well, shit, all the OTs and RBs are gone already! Otah is a slight reach, especially now that he ran slowly at the Combine, but they need to rebuild the o-line immediately. And they know it.
15. Detroit Lions: CB Leodis McKelvin — All of the CBs are still on the board! And so they take McKelvin, who is the best CB overall and fills a big need. They'd like an OT, though. They'd rather have Chris Williams.
16. Arizona Cardinals: CB Mike Jenkins — Since the big three RBs are gone, they go with CB. It fills a need and is also the best player available.
17. Minnesota Vikings: DE Derrick Harvey — I've already written this one. This team's greatest need is a pass rusher. On defense, they ranked 2nd against the run, but 23rd against the pass.[1] Even worse, they were 28th in adjusted sack rate.[2] (Although, it was an improvement from being 31st in 2006.)[3] The Vikings' sack leaders (Kenechi Udezi, Ray Edwards, and SLB Ben Leber) each had only 5 sacks—good for a tie for 54th place in the NFL.[4] Udezi, who is the most talented DE on the team, has leukemia,[5] and so he is unlikely to play this season, if ever again. Harvey "should make an immediate impact rushing the passer."[6]
18. Houston Texans: CB Aqib Talib — They are looking at CB, OT, and RB. They have no CBs since Dunta is still injured. Talib is a very good CB and showed that he's good enough as a pure athlete. Again, with the CBs sliding because OTs and RBs went, this pick is easy.
19. Philadelphia Eagles: WR Malcolm Kelly — Here's a big #1 WR. Reggie Brown is a #2, and Kevin Curtis is a slot receiver. I don't know why I never have much to say about the Eagles.
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: QB Brian Brohm — Well, if he falls into their lap, they'd probably take him. They have Luke McCown backing up a 38-year-old QB.
21. Washington Redskins: DE Phillip Merling — They need a guy who can get pressure and sacks. He's a good pass rusher.
22. Dallas Cowboys (via CLE): RB Felix Jones — The other Arkansas RB replaces Julius Jones, even though he had a disappointing 40 time at the Combine.
23. Pittsburgh Steelers: OG Branden Albert — They have to replace Alan Faneca, and Albert has been moving up the boards. They'll take whoever they can get to fix their o-line.
24. Tennessee Titans: WR Limas Sweed — WR is clearly the biggest need, and so they might as well pick someone who will work well with Young. The other WRs are fading, also.
25. Seattle Seahawks: RB Chris Johnson — The fastest guy at the Combine. They're happy that they didn't have to trade up to get him.
26. Jacksonville Jaguars: DT Pat Sims — Their run defense wasn't particularly good last season. I won't forget that season opener against the Titans. 282 rushing yards?!?! Sims is a big boy like the Jags want.
27. San Diego Chargers: CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie — I know I'm dreaming here, but can you imagine the awesomeness of DOUBLE CROMARTIES? I mean, why wouldn't they want to put Antonio on the #1 guy, and DRC on the slot receiver while readying him to be their #2 CB? Jammer and Florence are nothing special.
28. Dallas Cowboys: DE/OLB Quentin Groves — Very athletic guy who fits with the 3-4.
29. San Francisco 49ers (via IND): WR DeSean Jackson — Shaun Hill is good. He needs more than Gore and V. Davis around him. Since Davis is a big target, they can afford to have a tiny guy out there.
30. Green Bay Packers: CB Antoine Cason — Woodson and Harris are in their 30s. They could maybe take a LB or TE.
31. New England Patriots: You fucked up! You fucked up!
32. New York Giants: LB Dan Connor — I doubt he really lasts this long. The Giants would love to take him, even though they'd have to move him to OLB until Pierce moves on.
Today is monumental day...it's My Two Year Blogoversary!
My first entry talked about the first ever live sporting event I ever went to, an A's/Red Sox game. Now that I finally have received the 1985 Chicago Bears boxset I can now do write up for the oldest sports memory I have, watching Super Bowl XX. This is the only reason I could ever have to re-watch this snuff film of a football game.
Here's the list of the 12 games that are in the set.
Week 1 vs. Tampa Bay
Week 3 at Minnesota
Week 4 vs. Washington
Week 5 at Tampa Bay
Week 6 at San Francisco
Week 7 vs. Green Bay
Week 11 at Dallas
Week 13 at Miami
Week 16 at Detroit
Divisional Playoff vs. N.Y. Giants
NFC Championship vs. L.A. Rams
Super Bowl XX vs. New England
January 26, 1986 - Super Bowl XX: Chicago Bears (17-1) vs. New England Patriots (13-5)
-Woo hoo, the player introductions are on the disk! Seriously fuck the 2001 "Oh We're a Team!" New England Patriots for ending this tradition. Back in the day they always introduced the NFC offense which seemed inappropriate in this game as the Bears defense really should have been introduced. Judging by the reaction of crowd during the introductions it seemed like their were more Patriots fans at the game.
-Coin toss features the previous 17 Super Bowl MVP winners and even Joe Montana showed up this time. Majority of them didn’t seem thrilled to be there. Joe Namath got the biggest reaction and I wonder if a 21 year old Suzy Kolber was watching the game.
-Dick Enberg and Merlin Olsen are the announcers with Bob Griese making some cameos.
Bears Offense
QB: Jim McMahon
RB: Walter Payton, Matt Suhey
WR: Dennis McKinnon, Willie Gault
TE: Emery Moorehead
C: Jay Hilgenberg
G: John Thayer, Mark Bortz
T: Keith Van Horne, Jim Covert
Patriots Defense
DE: Garin Veris, Julius Adams
NT: Lester Williams
OLB: Andre Tippett, Don Blackmon
ILB: Steve Nelson, Larry McGrew
CB: Ronnie Lippett, Raymond Clayborn
S: Roland James, Fred Marion
Patriots Offense
QB: Tony Eason
RB: Craig James, Tony Collins
WR: Stanley Morgan, Stephen Starring
TE: Lin Dawson
C: Pete Brock
G: John Hannah, Ron Wooten
T: Brian Holloway, Steve Moore
Bears Defense
DE: Richard Dent, Dan Hampton
DT: Steve McMichael, William Perry
OLB: Wilber Marshall, Otis Wilson
MLB: Mike Singletary
CB: Leslie Frazier, Mike Richardson
S: Gary Fencik, Dave Duerson
FIRST QUARTER
-Walter Payton fumbles on second play of the game and the Patriots recover on the Bears 20. This would be the high point of the game for the Pats. The misery begins for the Pats as tight end Lin Dawson blows out his knee on their first play from scrimmage. Three straight incompletions would lead to a Tony Franklin field goal for the first points off the Bears in the playoffs.
-After Don Blackmon drops a possible pick six on the Bears first play of their next possession, McMahon nails Gault for a 43 yard bomb. Their drive stalls near the Patriots 10 after Ronnie Lippett lands a heels over head hit on a McMahon scramble and Kevin Butler ties it up 3-3. What a competitive game we have!
-Both teams exchange punts and then the game tilts the Bears way for, well, the rest of the game. Steve “Former Four Horseman” McMichael sacks and forces Tony Eason to fumble, recovered by Dan Hamtpon on the Pats 13. On the next play McMahon completes a drag screen pass to Emery Moorhead and on the play Merlin Olsen insists there was clip by Dennis McKinnon on Blackmon. They show two replays showing Blackmon being hit in the front of his legs which would make it a legal block but Olsen says “Look, right in the back of the legs! You can’t tell me that’s not a clip!” It wasn’t Merlin. Dick Enberg pauses like he wants to disagree but just ignores him and moves on. Olsen continues to rant on about the play a couple of plays later. Sounded like someone had money on the Pats.
-William Perry makes his first appearance on offense on 2nd and Goal with a halfback option pass but The Fridge can’t get rid of it and is dropped for a loss. Another Butler field goal makes it 6-3 Bears. New England is hanging tough!
-Richard Dent forces a Craig James fumble on the Patriots next play from scrimmage and the Bears again get the ball inside the Pats 15. Two plays later Matt Suhey takes it in to make it 13-3.
-Patriots total yards: -19
SECOND QUARTER
-After another Patriots punt the Bears easily move through a quickly tiring Patriots defense, mainly behind Matt Suhey. McMahon takes it himself from two and a half yards (video quality suddenly went bad during the play) to make it 20-3 and the rout is on.
-Ron Rivera made a tackle on the next kick off and I only mention it because he was at my D.A.R.E. “graduation” in the 5th grade as our “celebrity speaker.”
-After another Patriots three and out, Eason gets the hook for Steve Grogan. Eason finished the day 0 for 6 and was sacked three times. Grogan completes a couple of passes on his first possession and the Pats get their first, first down of the game with less than four minutes left in the first half but it doesn’t lead to anything.
-Bears make a late march that features a 28 yard completion Ken Margerum to set up another Butler field goal to make it 23-3. Maybe doing an entry on this game was a bad idea as I’ve completely lost interest at this point as I’m sure I did at 7 years old.
-Patriots total yards: -19. Grogan allows them to break even for the quarter.
THIRD QUARTER
-As they recap the first half before the second half kick off Olsen is still bitching about the correct non-clip call on what wasn’t even a crucial play, not that there was any crucial play in a game like this.
-Even when things go right for the Patriots it doesn’t pay off. Punter Rich Camarillo gets off an ugly kick that takes a fortunate bounce on the Superdome turf and rolls all the way down to the Bears 4 yard line. But on the Bears first play of the half McMahon hits Gault on another bomb for a 60 yard gain. This would eventually lead to another McMahon touchdown keeper to make it 30-3.
-And the slaughter continues as on the Patriots next drive Grogan throws behind his intended receiver Derrick Ramsey, the ball glances off Ramsey's hands and right to Reggie Phillips who takes it for a 28 yard interception return touchdown and a 37-3 lead.
-22 years later and I’m starting to feel sorry for the Patriots in this game. Next “drive” Grogan completes a pass to Dedrick Jones near midfield but he is immediately hit by Gary Fenick, fumbles and Wilber Marshall recovers it. It didn’t look like a fumble to me as Jones only appeared to have one foot down before being hit but I can’t remember if the rules for possession were different back then. Instant Replay wasn’t implemented until the following season.
-A “Walter” chant starts as everyone wants to see him a score a touchdown in this game but alas that would not happen. After a terrible call on a “completion” to Dennis Gentry where he didn’t even get one foot in bounds, this drive would feature The Fridge’s famous touchdown. I seem to remember reading that later Mike Ditka regretted not having Payton take it in for the score at this point in the game. 44-3.
-God dammit there’s still another hour left on the disk, even without commercials.
FOURTH QUARTER
-Bears did start to call off the dogs a bit towards the end of the 3rd as the Pats finally get a sustained drive but it takes a 4th and Goal touchdown pass to Irving Fryar (who was playing with a laceration on his finger that he got during a fight with his wife a couple of weeks earlier) to get in the endzone, 44-10 Bears. I smell a comeback!
-The scoring ends when Henry Waechter sacks Grogan in the endzone for a safety. Bears 46, Patriots 10.
-It’s mentioned towards the end of the game that Buddy Ryan has been offered the Philadelphia Eagles head coaching position.
-Richard Dent wins the MVP but I have to say he didn’t really standout to me over any other player on the Bears defense during this game but maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention.
-The postgame trophy presentation and interviews are on the disk but the video quality isn’t particularly good.
-Lord knows why I ever watched another football game again.
5:30 p.m.
• So while the better half was in surgery this week, it gave me the chance to read the first chapter of Glenn Beck’s “An Inconvenient Book.” The first chapter is devoted to goofing on enviro-wackos. Nothing really surprising. However, one thing I love to do (well, maybe not love) is read mainstream media accounts of issues back in the day. Take for example this gem from Newsweek published 4/28/1975, which was featured in Beck’s Book.
This was, of course, to combat global cooling. It’s a shame I wasn’t born a few years earlier than I was because I just missed the cooling craze. All I remember from my early years of schooling was some film that featured the “last clean place on earth.” It was some hippie greenhouse run by some … well, hippie. I guess the local people, who were dressed in HAZMAT gear, got tired of him and his animals breathing all that clear air and started knocking it down. For shame.
Oh, and here are some crazy quotes that are in Beck's book. I love reading stuff like this:
From enviro-wacko/EricMM's idol Paul Ehrlich in 1969:
In 1970:
Well, he was sorta right on this one. Although you have to substitute "dead fish" with "Mexicans."
