For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, the Guest Booker DVD series is an idea from KayfabeCommentaries.com where a famous wrestling booker is given the task of booking a promotion or territory form a particular point in time with the idea that things didn’t go exactly as they did in real life and this is their chance to show us what they would have done were they the booker at the time. The first DVD featured Kevin Sullivan booking the WWF from the beginning of 1984 but without Hulk Hogan, who, for whatever reason, never made the big jump from the AWA. It’s a very interesting DVD, and while some of Sullivan’s ideas seem a little out of place, it still gives a lot of insight into the mechanics of booking and you still learn a lot of things about the art of booking that you probably won’t learn anywhere else.
With the concept explained, I shall set out the premise for this version of ‘Guest Booker’;
In late 1989, the NWA and Ric Flair were making a play to bring Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard back to the company, but there was also talk of other names being courted to jump to the NWA, specifically Ted DiBiase, Curt Hennig, Bret Hart, The Rockers, Roddy Piper and Randy Savage. Of course, we know that the only name of all of those to jump was Arn Anderson; Blanchard would have jumped back too but Jim Herd withdrew his contract offer when Blanchard failed a drug test for cocaine, which coincided with his decision to leave the WWF.
But what if Tully and Arn had returned together? And what if those other big names had made the history altering decision to jump to the NWA as well?
How would things have changed?
Well, this is where Guest Booker comes in, and I book the NWA in the 18-month period from August of 1989 to the end of 1990.
There will be six main parts:
NWA World Heavyweight title
US Heavyweight title
World Tag Team titles
US Tag Team Titles
World TV Title
New Arrivals (with each one talked about individually)
It wound up being a pretty long deal, so I'll be posting it in sections to make it easier to digest.
Constructive comment and debate over the decisions made is welcome.
I'm probably going to watch Nitro first from here on out, so that's how I'm going to review them too. This one is from Memphis, Tennessee.
___________________
We flashback to last week, and then, Mean Gene invites Curt Hennig to the aisleway for an interview. He's not going to say what he'll be doing at Bash at the Beach, but he will say that he'll be involved with the card in some fashion. Here's Ric Flair, who wants Hennig to join the Four Horsemen. Needless to say, Hennig won't...yet.
___________________
Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri is the opener...
- It's not bad, not bad at all. Vincent comes to the ring towards the end, and Sherri tells Booker to chase Vincent away, so he does. Sherri pushes Rocco Rock into Stevie Ray on accident, so Johnny Grunge pins Stevie, getting the win at 4:56. Uh-oh. Mean Gene comes into the ring, slips up and calls Vincent "Virgil," then Harlem Heat tell Sherri to leave...for good. You can't fire me because I quit and all that...yeah. Match was **.
___________________
Hey, a Bash at the Beach ad? I mentioned something about not having that...well, Joe Gomez is going to take on Konnan.
- Raven's in the crowd, again. Good. This match though, not so good. Bland, rather. Apparently Konnan "broke" Rey Mysterio's leg last week. Poor kid. Tequila Sunrise gets Konnan the submission victory at 3:11. *.
___________________
Next up, Juventud Guerrera and Hector Garza are taking on Villano IV and Villano V.
- Hell of a match, compared to what's usually on Nitro. It's one of those things you need to go out of your way to see. Most of the match is double teams, with no regard for the referee, thank goodness. Anyway, Juvi finishes Villano V with a 450 splash at 6:16. ***1/4.
___________________
The NWO music hits...here comes Scott Hall, Randy Savage, and Elizabeth. You know where they're headed? The commentary table. I love when they go over there. Everyone leaves, except for Larry Zbyszko. He ain't going anywhere. Hall calls DDP a mid-card jabroni, then Savage rambles about some nonsense. Anyway, they go to leave, but Hall and Zbyszko get into an argument. They nearly come to blows, but things cool down a bit.
___________________
We flashback to World War III 1996, where the Giant eliminated Lex Luger in a move that really didn't look like he was trying to eliminate Luger at all. Anyhow, this is a Giant and Lex Luger interview...when I say interview, I mean a hackjob.
___________________
Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent are taking on Eddie and Chavo Guerrero, now.
- Vicious and Delicious are Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell. Eddie's ring attire problem is fixed, so now, lastly, his music. That music he has needs to be ditched. Anyway, a limo pulls up and leaves. Wow.
- Eddie won't tag Chavo, so he just leaves him. I laughed. Eddie watches as Chavo gets his ass beat, culminating in a BUFF BLOCKBUSTER for the three count at 8:02. **. Fun shall be had later on between the Guerrero's.
___________________
Hour #2, and Zbyszko won't leave until this match is over. The match I'm talking about is Randy Savage w/Scott Hall and Elizabeth vs. LA PARKA.
- WTF DREAM MATCH 1997!111!1!111!
- Ok, Hall walks over toward the announce table, taunting Zbyszko, but he doesn't really want to do anything, does he? He meaning Hall. Anyway, while Hall's over there, LA PARKA gives Savage a DIAMOND CUTTER. He pulls the mask off...and it's DDP! HA. He covers Savage, getting the three count at 3:12, then he runs into the crowd to celebrate. *1/4, but a hell of a surprise there.
___________________
Psychosis and Silver King w/Sonny Onoo are facing Glacier and Ernest Miller.
- Eddie and Chavo are fighting in the back, see what I said? Mortis and Wrath run to the ring, so we've got a no-contest at 2:34. Everyone's fighting everyone! Seriously, no joke.
___________________
On the Road in Orlando...yawn.
Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, for a second time tonight. Flair calls out Roddy Piper, and whoa, oh wait, he's got another Piper mannequin. Geez. Piper ain't got the guts, but wait a second, he's standing right behind Flair. Piper chases Flair to the ring and tears off Flair's clothes, before putting Flair in a sleeperhold. That continues for a bit, until Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael come to the ring. Benoit gains control, and gives Piper a FLYING HEADBUTT, which ends the segment. But for one thing, a mysterious person ran in and cleaned house as they were going to commercial. It looked like Curt Hennig, but I don't really know.
___________________
Continuing our lack of matches, Mike Tenay has walked over to Raven, once again. Stevie Richards, King of Swing comes into the picture(!), and says that he's the only one who can get some answers out of Raven. He asks if Raven has signed a WCW contract, which causes Raven to slap Stevie, and leave.
___________________
Eric Bischoff and Hollywood Hogan now make their way up, in what's clearly a Bash at the Beach hype segment. People throw a bunch of stuff at Hogan, and then, after a bit., Lex Luger and The Giant come to the ring. Bischoff tried to hit Luger, so he gets RACKED. Vincent and Buff Bagwell run down, and both of them get chokeslammed. Anyway, Hogan runs away, scared. That ends the show.
___________________
Great episode of Nitro this time. You got good tag wrestling, and well, that's good enough for me. Plus, we're getting to the point where there's a large portion of these shows that feature wrestlers the 'net as a whole is more interested in. That's good too. Best segment was definitely Juvi and Garza vs. Villano's IV and V, and the worst was probably Joe Gomez vs. Konnan. Looking forward to the next Nitro, as I have been all along.
___________________
RAW this week is from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
___________________
Bret Hart comes to the ring at the top of the show, wearing an Oilers sweater. Asskisser. He has a shot at the WWF Title at SummerSlam, in New Jersey. He rips apart America, and says that if he doesn't win on August 3rd, he won't wrestle on American soil again. Period. He brings out Owen Hart and the British Bulldog, so they can listen to the Canadian National Anthem. Before that though, Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock at SummerSlam was announced. While listening to the anthem, STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD attacks all three men from behind with a steel chair. What a swell fellow. During the commercial which followed this attack, Bret said that none of his opponents will ever walk over Canada.
___________________
Taka Michinoku is taking on the Great Sasuke, in a rematch from last night's Canadian Stampede PPV.
- Brian Christopher comes down to the ring for commentary, and before the match, Sasuke cut a promo. Uh, why?
- Sasuke finishes Taka with a thunderfire powerbomb. Hells yeah. Oh, match was ***, and it ended at 5:46. Too short, but hey, that's television.
___________________
Crush w/The Disciples of Apocalypse is taking on Savio Vega w/Los Boricuas.
- Before the match, we watch a video of this whole gang situation, poop on all that. Chainz hits Vega, which starts a giant brawl at 2:19. 1/4*. Yeah, giant brawl.
___________________
Paul Bearer has an interview, yes, Kane told him so, Taker's a MURDERER.
Now, we've got Faarooq and D'Lo Brown facing Owen Hart and the British Bulldog w/Jim Neidhart and Brian Pillman in the Final of the Tag Team Tournament.
- Before the bout, Pillman grabbed a sign that says, "Nation of Masturbation." For real.
- Steve Austin still doesn't want a partner for next week, btw. See, the appeal of this match is minimal to most Americans (unless you like the Harts), seeing as it's heel vs. heel. Well, heel vs. heel here, but not heel vs. heel in Canada. Anyway, moving forward, all hell breaks loose on the outside, but Owen stays in the ring, causing his team to win by countout. So they'll face Steve Austin next week. Mankind runs down while wearing an Austin 3:16 shirt, and motions that he and Austin will be keeping those titles. Sure, Mick. *1/4.
___________________
Steve Austin comments on Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and guess what, those two will be facing each other, right now!
- Warzone...Quite the matchup here, correct? Anyway, the match is good by RAW standards, but not Stone Cold vs. HHH good. You'd expect that to be the case. Mankind takes a chairshot in place of Austin, which allows Austin to give HHH a STONE COLD STUNNER and pick up the pinfall victory at 6:17 (shown). **1/4. Austin grabs a microphone, and he wants Mankind to come into the ring, Of course he does, and Austin says that he just wants Mankind to shake his hand, and they can be a team. Well, Mankind hugs him. I'll be damned. Ha, Austin gives him a STUNNER. Austin says that they aren't a team, and that Mick shouldn't trust anybody. Austin leaves, but Mankind grabs the microphone. You see, he just wanted a friend, that's all. Now, drastic measures must be taken. Who knows what they shall be.
___________________
Sunny's our guest ring announcer (yo), for this match between Brian Christopher and Eric Shelley.
- I don't quite understand what they're trying to do with the Light Heavyweight Division at this point. I don't think they ever understood, to be fair. Top rope legdrop gives Christopher the pinfall after a kinda boring 3:52. *1/2. Lawler and Christopher give Shelley a spike piledriver, which is probably going to become routine.
___________________
Steve Austin comes to the ring for an interview...he still doesn't know who his tag team partner is going to be. Also, at SummerSlam, when he faces Owen Hart for the Intercontinental Title, he'll kiss Owen's ass if he can't kick it. We're already getting ridiculous with the Russo stuff here. I know there's going to be another (or two), (what I like to call) ultimatum match/es added, and generally, most suck. Unless the angle involves a dress or a haircut, in all likelihood, the one being pushed up against a wall is going to win. Russo's fingerprints are pretty much all over this, and I don't like it. I know all those matches feature members of the Hart Foundation, but I don't care. It sucks.
Tirade over.
___________________
The main event is Goldust vs. Bret Hart.
- I'm sure that something was cut from the original airing of this show, because there has been very little time between the beginning of the Warzone and now, or even the end of this match. Unless of course, they just cut some super long commercials out. Yeah.
- DOA comes down, uh, why? That doesn't make any damn sense. Here comes the Hart Foundation, then Ken Shamrock and the Legion of Doom. Now Austin's on the ramp, as Bret rolls Goldust up for three at 7:29. **. Big celebration and all, then the show ends.
So, what was the point of all that?
___________________
The show was definitely good, but not better than Nitro. There's just some, I don't know, WEIRD stuff going on during this show. Best segment was probably Austin pulling the whole DON'T TRUST ANYBODY thing on Mankind, and the worst was easily the GANG WARZ during the Savio Vega/Crush match. I feigned excitement at the start of GANG WARZ, but really, this sucks.
___________________
Beware of Dog review is next, probably won't finish it up by Friday, but I'll try. Next month on 24/7 is going to be awful (and have a Clash as the only big event at the beginning of the month), so I'll have a bit of time to rest my ailing fingers soon.
If you haven't checked out Pro-Football-Reference.com lately you should as it isn't the completely useless site it used to be. This is a site that until recently didn't even have QB Ratings but now it has all kinds of neat features such as a searchable draft database. With the help of this I decided to do a quicky project for the blog by putting together an All-Time NFL Draft.
Now this isn't some all-time fantasy draft I'm doing but rather I'm selecting who in my opinion were the best players ever at each selection of the draft (i.e. Who is the best #1 pick of all-time?). To keep my sanity I'm only doing this since the 1970 NFL-AFL merger and I stopped at 30 picks although I might do another entry for more picks. Along with who I picked as the best player at each selection I also listed three "honorable mention" picks at each selection just to give you an idea of how many good players (or very average players for that matter with some of them) were taken at each selection. I originally thought of doing it based on who were truly the best draft picks for the team that originally drafted each player but that was going to be way too time consuming so I took the easy way out and just picked purely based on the player's career, regardless of where they had their most success.
1. Baltimore Colts (traded to Denver) - John Elway, QB, Stanford 1983
Honorable Mention: Eric Campbell (1978), Bruce Smith (1985), Peyton Manning (1998)
2. N.Y. Giants – Lawrence Taylor, LB, North Carolina 1981
Honorable Mention: Tony Dorsett (1977), Eric Dickerson (1983), Marshall Faulk (1994)
3. Detroit – Barry Sanders, RB, Oklahoma State 1989
Honorable Mention: Anthony Munoz (1980), Cortez Kennedy (1990), Chris Samuels (2000)
4. Chicago – Walter Payton, RB, Jackson State 1975
Honorable Mention: John Hannah (1973), Dan Hampton (1979), Jonathan Ogden (1996)
5. Atlanta – Deion Sanders, CB, Florida State 1989
Honorable Mention: Mike Haynes (1976), Junior Seau (1990), LaDanian Tomlinson (2001)
6. L.A. Raiders – Tim Brown, WR, Notre Dame 1988
Honorable Mention: James Lofton (1978), Walter Jones (1997), Torry Holt (1999)
7. Washington – Champ Bailey, CB, Georgia 1999
Honorable Mention: Phil Simms (1979), Sterling Sharpe (1988), Troy Vincent (1992)
8. San Francisco – Ronnie Lott, DB, USC 1981
Honorable Mention: Mike Munchak (1982), Willie Roaf (1993), Roy Williams (2002)
9. Houston Oilers – Bruce Matthews, G, USC 1983
Honorable Mention: Terry McDaniel (1988), Richmond Webb (1990), Brian Urlacher (2000)
10. Pittsburgh – Rod Woodson, DB, Purdue 1987
Honorable Mention: Marcus Allen (1982), Jerome Bettis (1993), Willie Anderson (1996)
11. Dallas – Michael Irvin, WR, Miami 1988
Honorable Mention: Dennis Harrah (1975), Wilber Marshall (1984), Dwight Freeney (2002)
12. Tampa Bay – Warren Sapp, DT, Miami 1995
Honorable Mention: Clay Matthews (1978), Jim Lachey (1985), Warrick Dunn (1997)
13. Kansas City – Tony Gonzalez, TE, California 1997
Honorable Mention: Franco Harris (1972), Mike Kenn (1978), Kellen Winslow (1979)
14. Buffalo – Jim Kelly, QB, Miami 1983
Honorable Mention: Randy Gradishar (1974), John Jefferson (1978), Ruben Brown (1995)
15. Denver – Dennis Smith, S, USC 1981
Honorable Mention: Isaac Curtis (1973), John L Williams (1986), Anthony Miller (1988)
16. San Francisco – Jerry Rice, WR, Mississippi Valley State 1985
Honorable Mention: Raymond Clayborn (1977), Luis Sharpe (1982), Troy Polamalu (2003)
17. Dallas – Emmitt Smith, RB, Florida 1990
Honorable Mention: Louis Wright (1975), Damien Woody (1999), Steve Hutchinson (2001)
18. Washington – Art Monk, WR, Syracuse 1980
Honorable Mention: Willie Gault (1983), Alfred Williams (1991), Eddie Kennison (1996)
19. Indianapolis – Marvin Harrison, WR, Syracuse 1996
Honorable Mention: Joey Browner (1983), Randall McDaniel (1988), Casey Hampton (2001)
20. L.A. Rams – Jack Youngblood, DE, Florida 1971
Honorable Mention: Mike Quick (1982), Will Wolford (1986), Steve Atwater (1989)
21. Minnesota – Randy Moss, WR, Marshall 1998
Honorable Mention: Lynn Swan (1974), John Alt (1984), Jerry Gray (1985)
22. Indianapolis – Andre Rison, WR, Michigan State 1988
Honorable Mention: Jack Reynolds (1970), Hanford Dixon (1981), Harris Barton (1987)
23. Cleveland – Ozzie Newsome, TE, Alabama 1978
Honorable Mention: Ray Guy (1973), Bruce Armstrong (1987), Ty Law (1995)
24. Baltimore Ravens – Ed Reed, S, Miami 2002
Honorable Mention: Raymond Chester (1970), James Brooks (1981), Eric Moulds (1996)
25. San Francisco – Ted Washington, DT, Louisville 1991
Honorable Mention: Stanley Morgan (1977), Bobby Butler (1981), Chris Hovan (2000)
26. Baltimore Ravens – Ray Lewis, LB, Miami 1996
Honorable Mention: Joe DeLamielleure (1973), Kent Hill (1979), Alan Faneca (1998)
27. Miami – Dan Marino, QB, Pittsburgh 1983
Honorable Mention: Reggie McKenzie (1972), Neal Anderson (1986), Larry Johnson (2003)
28. Tampa Bay – Derrick Brooks, LB, Florida State 1995
Honorable Mention: Guy Morris (1973), Darrell Green (1983), Trevor Pryce (1997)
29. Dallas (traded to L.A. Raiders) – Steve Wisniewski, G, Penn State 1989
Honorable Mention: Tommy Casanova (1972), Joe Cribbs (1980), Chris Spielman (1988)
30. Philadelphia – Eric Allen, CB, Arizona State 1988
Honorable Mention: Greg Pruitt (1973), Louie Kelcher (1975), Patrick Kerney (1999)
7:30 p.m.
• So the "well it's only a matter of time" has struck again. Remember my out-of-control niece-in-law? Guess who has a bun in the oven?
And guess who gets drunk?
And guess who uses drugs?
And guess who goes to the methadone clinic?
The funniest thing about all this: I have no idea who the father is. Well, she's been living with this guy for a little while now, but that doesn't mean shit. This is the same person who got a cat, didn't have it fixed and didn't take it one time to the vet. About a week ago the cat got in heat and ran away. Maybe it knew something then.
• And who says there's a media bias? Note the bold-face type. Well, naturally, you should. After all, it's in bold-face. But I digress.
Oopsie, I deleted one little thing in the last paragraph. There we go...
Splintered? Conservative? It was a 7-2 vote! The same five red diaper doper babies that think it's OK for the government to take the private property of Private Party A and give it to Private Party B because Private Party B would use the land to generate more tax revenue took part in this decision. I shudder to think what would happen if several lawyers in robes were chosen by Osama or Hitlery. (Eh, I'm sure McCain wouldn't be much better.)
What's up with the whole "Wild Thing" title they're using for this show? I don't follow.
___________________
To start the show off, Teddy Long's with Gordon Solie. You see, the Skyscrapers have got this Chicago Street Fight later...but Dan Spivey is "injured." Emphasis on the quotes, but really, he left the company. So, we're going to see a mystery partner for Mean Mark.
___________________
Kevin Sullivan and Buzz Sawyer vs. The Dynamic Dudes is our opener.
Blow-by-Blow: To start, Sawyer and Johnny Ace lock-up...and we get a clean break. Sawyer gives Ace a shoulderblock, but Ace comes back with a monkey flip and a dropkick to knock Sawyer out of the ring. Ace gives Sawyer a pescado, to speed things up a bit. Back in, with Sullivan and Douglas having tagged in. Shane gives Sullivan an armdrag, and he rams him into the buckle, before a little mat wrestling sequence. Ace and Sawyer come in, and the heels slap each other for some reason I forgot. Anyway, Shane gives Sullivan an armdrag after both teams swap again, but Sullivan tosses Douglas to the outside. Sawyer gives Douglas a suplex on the outside, and then a belly-to-belly suplex on the INSIDE for a 2 count. Sawyer gives him a gutwrench suplex, and that also gets 2. Sawyer bites Douglas, and gives him a bearhug, before tagging in Sullivan, who punches Douglas a few times. Sawyer comes back in, and gives Douglas a bearhug. When the referee gets distracted, Sullivan tosses Douglas over the top. You know, seeing as it's illegal, it's kind of a death move. Sullivan goes back to the bearhug before tagging in Sawyer, who chops Douglas. Douglas avoids Sawyer's attacks and makes it to Ace, who tags in and goes crazy. He botches a flying headscissor, making me laugh, hard. Anyway, Sawyer gives Ace a suplex, and finishes him with a big splash off the top, at 10:16.
Match Analysis: I like Sawyer. I hate the Dudes. The match wasn't very good, but acceptable for an opener. It could've been far worse. *3/4.
___________________
Missy Hyatt is interviewing Norman the Lunatic...honestly, what the fuck is this?
Of course, Norman has a match. He's facing CACTUS JACK MANSON.
Blow-by-Blow: Sorry for the caps, but it's Cactus and I couldn't resist. Cactus gives Norman a back elbow for a 2 count, but Norman responds with a clothesline, stopping Cactus' momentum. Norman gives Cactus a headbutt and back elbow, before going to a bearhug. Norman rams Cactus into the buckle, and when he whips Cactus into the buckle, Cactus flips over them and out to the floor. Norman backdrops Cactus over the guardrail on a Cactus charge, but Cactus rams him into the ringpost. Cactus dropkicks him from the apron, and rams him into the canvas, which gets a 2 count on the inside. Cactus' headbutts do nothing, but a big boot does, and gets a 2 count. To the chinlock we go, and after a bit, Norman picks Cactus up on his shoulders, and drops him to the canvas, breaking the hold. He misses a splash though, so Cactus places him on the second rops and jumps onto him. On the second attempt at a jump, Cactus misses, and flies out of the ring. Cactus tries a piledriver, but Norman backdrops Cactus, and sits on him, getting the three count at 9:33.
Match Analysis: Funny little finish. Anyway, Norman/Bastion Booger sucks. Could've been worse, though, and Cactus put on a great show. *.
___________________
Jim Cornette is with Gordon Solie, hyping up this match between...The Midnight Express and the Rock 'n' Roll Express.
Blow-by-Blow: There's a sign in the crowd that says, "We have Herd enough." I lol'd. Stan Lane and Robert Gibson start, and Gibson gives Lane an armdrag. Lane responds with a hiptoss, but Gibson comes right back with two shoulderblocks and a fistdrop. Whoa, this is funny. Cornette wants to fight the referee, and guess what...the ref wants to fight him! The referee gets all ready to go, but Cornette runs out of the ring. Good stuff. Ricky Morton tags in and atomic drops Lane into Bobby Eaton, so the Midnights go to the outside so they can regroup. Lane slams Morton and Eaton tags in, but Gibson gives Eaton a flying chop off the top before he can do anything. Still, Morton's the legal man, and Cornette trips him. The RnR's backdrop Eaton, and clothesline him over the top, for a good ovation. They then give Lane a double back elbow, but Lane tosses Morton to the outside afterward. Morton responds by ramming Lane into the ringpost, then he brings Lane back inside. Lane tags Eaton, who subsequently cross-bodies Eaton over the top and to the floor. Lane slams Morton on the floor, and Eaton gives him a backbreaker, back inside the ring. Cornette hits Morton with his tennis racket, and after a Lane drop-toe hold, Eaton gives Morton an elbowdrop for 2. A suplex from Eaton gets 2, so he tags in Lane, who powerslams Morton, only getting a 1 count. Morton gives Lane a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted by Cornette, so no count. Eaton makes the blind tag when Lane gets taken into the ropes, and gives Morton a DDT for good measure. Eaton gives Morton a single-arm DDT, and goes to a hammerlock, before tagging Lane back in for a second. After that second, Eaton comes back in, and slams Morton, before going up top. He comes off the top with a flying elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Cornette hits Morton with the tennis racket again, and Lane applies the armbar. Morton armdrags Lane, but Eaton comes in and gives Morton another single-arm DDT. Lane gives Morton a side slam, then Eaton comes in, so the Midnights can go for the ROCKET LAUNCHER. Eaton eats Morton's knees, which FINALLY allows Morton to make the hot tag to Gibson. Gibson's a house of fire, but Cornette hits Gibson with the tennis racket. Eaton covers him, but it only gets a 2 count. The Midnights try a double flapjack, but Morton takes out Eaton, and Gibson cradles Lane for the three count at 23:21. Yeesh.
Match Analysis: Very long match, very good match. No complaints. ***3/4. I loved when Cornette tried to fight the referee, that was just classic NWA type booking.
___________________
Gordon Solie is with the Road Warriors...seeing as they're going to leave the NWA soon, I wonder how this match is going to go. Like I said, I don't read the results of these shows before watching them.
___________________
The Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering are taking on The Skyscrapers w/Teddy Long in a CHICAGO STREET FIGHT...
Blow-by-Blow: The Skyscrapers in this case are Mean Mark Callous and the Masked Skyscraper. I'll fill you in on who the masked one is...it's
Anyway, Ellering knocks Long out of the ring, and that starts the Donnybrook. Unlike in the WWF, a Chicago Street Fight just means that they brawl, and there's no weapon use. Anyhow, the Road Warriors clothesline both Skyscrapers, and generally kick their ass for the duration of the bout. Animal gives Callous an inverted atomic drop, and Hawk gives the Masked Skyscraper a fistdrop. DOOM makes their way down to ringside, presumably to watch out for the Skyscrapers. I don't really know why they're here. Hawk gives Callous a neckbreaker, and a clothesline, as Animal slams (we'll call him) Masked. Hawk tosses Callous out, and clotheslines him from the ring apron...then follows that up with a dropkick, on the floor. Animal clotheslines both Skyscrapers back in the ring, as we move to the finish. Hawk backdrops Callous over the top, DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Masked, and that gets the three count at 5:06. Doom gets ever closer to the ring after the match...and after the Road Warriors toss Teddy Long onto them, well, they get in the ring. They act like they're going to leave, but...they turn around, and get their asses kicked. That was pretty dumb.
Match Analysis: Lame squash. Could've done without it, but hey, I got a kick out of Doom making their way to the ring. *1/2. The Road Warriors vs. Doom would've been a great feud. Well, they feuded, but there was never a PPV match or blowoff. I suppose that's what I meant.
___________________
All the rest of the matches are title matches. Speaking of title matches, the first one of those is the Fabulous Freebirds vs. Flyin' Brian and the Z-MAN for the United States Tag Team Titles.
Blow-by-Blow: The champions attack the challengers, and backdrop them to start the match off. Michael Hayes and Brian Pillman are in the ring, and Pillman chops away at Hayes, before clotheslining him. Jimmy Garvin and Tom Zenk come in, and Zenk gives Garvin a shoulderblock, hiptoss and dropkick. A second dropkick misses though, and Pillman tags in. He gives Garvin a crucifix for 2, then Hayes tags in, and gets clocked. Hayes knocks Pillman onto the apron, but Pillman quickly gives Hayes a springboard crossbody for 2. Pillman armdrags Hayes and tags in Zenk, who gets clotheslines. Pillman tags in as Garvin misses a charge to the corner, and he gives Garvin a hiptoss. Pillman takes Garvin down with a headlock, but Hayes tags in and applies a sleeper on Pillman. Hayes goes up top(?) and gives Pillman a crossbody, but Pillman reverses it and gets a 2 count. The Freebirds give him a double back elbow, which Garvin follows up with a kneelift. Garvin gives Pillman a shoulderblock, but Pillman avoids Garvin and makes the tag to Zenk. Zenk goes crazy on the Birds, but Garvin goes up top and ends it with a double axhandle. Hayes covers Zenk, but it only gets 2, so he rams Zenk into the ringpost. Garvin goes to the chinlock...unfortunately. Anyway, Zenk makes his way out and gives Garvin a powerslam, before cradling him for 2. Garvin comes back with a big boot and scoop slam, then a kneedrop, for 2. Hayes goes back to the chinlock, but he doesn't hold it for long, deciding to give Zenk an elbowdrop instead, getting 2. Words don't describe how boring and long this match is. Just wait until you see the time. Hayes gives Zenk a bulldog for 2, before going back to the chinlock. Zenk powers up and gives Hayes a DDT, then he FINALLY makes the tag to Pillman. Pillman's a house of fire, one that shoulderblocks both Freebirds. Hayes comes in with one of the tag belts, but the referee takes it way, as Garvin rams Pillman into a cameraman, sorta. Pillman comes off the top with a crossbody, and that gets the three count on Garvin at 24:35. After the bout, the Freebirds beat them up a bit, then leave.
Match Analysis: Good Lord, this was way too long. Unbearably so. Honestly, I never want to see this again. It wasn't bad wrestling or anything, but it was way too bland for the time allotted. *1/4.
___________________
Missy Hyatt is with the Steiner Brothers...oddly enough, Rick is acting like a retard or something. I don't know what's up with that.
___________________
Anyway, Ole and Arn Anderson are facing The Steiner Brothers for the NWA World Tag Team Titles.
Blow-by-Blow: Scott and Arn start the match off, and it's goin' good, at least until Arn ducks out of the ring and Rick hits him. Scott gives Arn a choketoss, and a 10 punch. Scott then gives Arn an atomic drop and a scoop slam, causing Arn to tag Ole. Scott tags Rick, and the Steiners clear the ring, to a big ovation. Arn comes in, and Rick gives him a headlock, before a powerslam which gets 2. Arn goes to the top, but he thinks better of it after a minute. Forgot why. Anyway, Scott comes in and gives him an inverted atomic drop, and applies a figure-four leglock. Scott then gives Arn a t-bone suplex after a rope break, and follows that up with a kneedrop for 2. Rick and Arn tag in, so Rick gives Arn a suplex. Ole rams Rick into the buckle, but it doesn't do a thing. BUT, Arn hitting Rick's arm sure does, so Ole slams Rick and gives him an elbowdrop for 2. Scott takes Ole down with a headlock, but on the outside, he accidentally clotheslines the post, allowing Ole to ram him into the guardrail. Ole tosses Scott back in and tags Arn, who gives Scott a hammerlock slam. Arn then applies an armbar, but he misses a pump splash from the top. That was weird, coming from him. Scott gives Arn a FRANKENSTEINER, which allows him to tag in his brother, Rick. Rick gives Ole a STEINERLINE, then Arn is given a STEINERLINE, and Rick cradles Ole for the win at 16:03, meaning that the Steiners keep their titles. After the match, Ole knees Scott in the back, and the Andersons do their best to mess up Scott's arm, in typical Horseman fashion.
Match Analysis: Average match, but still fun because it's the Steiner Brothers. Weird, at least for me, to see Ole wrestling at this point in time. He didn't do much, but still, weird. **1/2.
___________________
Gordon Solie is with Lex Luger...who's gonna get Ric Flair.
Then he's with Ric Flair and Woman...and Flair's gonna get Luger. Well I'll be.
___________________
Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair w/Woman is clearly the main event and NWA World Heavyweight Championship Match.
Blow-by-Blow: Sting came to the ring on crutches for a bit...and then left. Poor guy, walked all that way on crutches for a pop and had to walk all the way back. Shame on you, WCW. Flair's wearing pink...uh, that's funny. Anyway, Flair gives Luger a hammerlock, but Luger reverses and pushes Flair to the canvas. Flair applies a wristlock on Luger, but Luger shrugs Flair off all the same, and gives Flair a knucklelock. Luger then gives Flair a shoulderblock, causing Flair to bail out of the ring. Back in, and Flair whips Luger to the buckle, but Luger comes right back out with a clothesline. Flair bails out, but Luger brings him right back in and gives him a gorilla press slam. Flair responds with a shoulderblock, but he's given another gorilla press, then ANOTHER, after some Luger posing. Luger gives Flair a bearhug, but Flair breaks it, only to be given a 10 punch in the corner. Luger then gives Flair a hiptoss, but he misses a charge at Flair and flies out of the ring. Flair chops away, then rams Luger into the guardrail, twice. Flair brings him in, and gives Luger two kneedrops, which get a 2 count. Luger misses a charge, so Flair hammerlocks him with his feet on the ropes. More chopping ensues, and then Flair wrenches Luger's arm in the ropes. Luger gives Flair a clothesline, but Flair pokes him in the eye, and gives him another kneedrop. In response, Luger sends Flair to the buckle, and gives him a sleeper. Flair back suplexes out of it, then he tries a suplex, but Luger blocks it and gives him one of his own. Luger rams Flair's leg into the ringpost, and tries to apply a figure-four, but he kinda fucked it up. Anyway, Flair breaks the hold, and a shoulderblock of his knocks both of them down. Luger gives Flair a powerslam for 2, then a backslide, which also gets 2. Luger gives Flair a 10 punch at the corner, but Flair gives him an inverted atomic drop, and two flying chops from the top rope. Flair gives Luger a double-underhook suplex, which gets 2. A Flair roll-up also gets 2, and so does a Luger clothesline. Luger misses an elbowdrop, so Flair gives him two kneebreakers, and goes to the FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK. Of course, Flair cheats, which coincides with Sting's return to the ringside area. Luger makes the ropes, so of course, Sting screams at him, trying to motivate the big lug. I guess it worked, because Luger is a house of fire. Luger gives Flair another gorilla press slam, and after a few punches, Flair goes up top. Of course, Luger slams him down, then he clotheslines Flair twice. A third clothesline sends Flair over the top rope, so to get Flair back in, Luger suplexes him, for 2. Luger gives him a powerslam, but he doesn't make the cover. Flair knocks Luger into the referee, so Luger sends Flair into the buckle, where Flair does his flip over the turnbuckles. After a Luger clothesline, he places Flair up on top, to give him a superplex. Ole and Arn Anderson have made their way to ringside, as Luger has Flair up in the RACK. After a while, Luger sees this problem, as the Andersons are about to clobber Sting with one of Sting's crutches. Luger gets outside of the ring and beats up the Andersons, but the referee is counting away, as Jim Ross is practically going insane about the count. AND...Lex Luger gets counted out, at 38:04. Arn DDT's Luger after the match for good measure, and after the little post-show report...that ends things here.
Match Analysis: Wow. What a match. Usually people would say, oh, I didn't know Luger could wrestle that well, but really, I did, so why say it? Of course, Flair can do no wrong either, so this makes for a hell of a matchup. Luger is easily carryable, thankfully. I'll give this one the same rating as Scott Keith did, ****1/2. For me, it passes the litmus test of being as good or better than Flair/Vader from Starrcade '93. Barely, though.
___________________
Rating: Good. Too much crap in between the great matches. I thought about this one for quite a while, and I wound up saying this was just good. Close to great as you can get without being great, though.
Best Segment: Obviously Flair/Luger. MX/RnR's was pretty good too, but not Flair/Luger good.
Worst Segment: Ha, it was the US Tag Title Match. For sheer length, if no other reason.
___________________
I'll try my best to get a RAW and Nitro from 7/7/97 up by Thursday, but no guarantees.
8:30 p.m.
• For those that frequent the other place. What that hell happened when I was away?
• So Barack Osama said something "clingy" about certain people...
So now Hitlery has pounced on this, and who suffers the most? Me. Because I have to watch shit like this every time my TV is turned on.
What's the difference between Hitlery and Osama on this issue? Osama was dumb enough to say it and have others hear him, even in friendly confines.
• From Smues' neck of the woods. Ever hear of these people?
9 p.m.
• You know, I generally side with so-called smokers' rights. However, I don't blame people for wanting smoking banned at beaches.
The few times I've been to the beach it was disgusting how many cigarette butts were all over the place.
• Man, who did the Rooneys piss off to get a schedule like this?
6 p.m.
• So the better half wanted to look up the review to some game called Looney Tunes: Acme Arsenal. I told her where to go to the site I always go to for reviews, but she "couldn't find it." OK. So I went to my favorites list, clicked the link and entered in the game's name. As I got up from the computer chair, she asked, "Where are you going?" My response. "Here's the site -- just pick what reviews you want to look at." Her response. "I thought you were going to read them, too."
...
Speaking of which, anybody know of any PS2 games out there that are similar to the Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance and Champions of Norrath titles?
LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS
___________________
It's MONDAY NITRO OMG WTF! To start the show, here comes Ric Flair to the ring, with two women and a...mannequin dressed up in Scottish garb. Oh no. One of these women wants to know why they call Piper "Hot Rod." Ouch. Flair says that he's the wrestler of the two, some woman calls Flair a 30 second man, and yeah, that's about it. Nearly forgot that there was a moment of silence for Piper, but yeah, now that's it. Thought for sure that Piper would run in, but he didn't. Lame segment.
___________________
Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title begins the action...
- See, Chris Jericho beat Syxx for the Cruiserweight Title over the weekend in Los Angeles. House show title changes every once in a while are pretty important for keeping house business alive, I feel. So that was good. This match sure as fuck isn't, though. Juvi messes up so much stuff that it's ridiculous, so I was glad to see him get double powerbombed. Super frankensteiner and LIONTAMER gets the submission at 6:49. *1/2. Now, Chris Jericho is with Mean Gene. WCW is on the map, you see. Syxx makes his way down the entrance ramp and to the ring, where he says that Jericho didn't beat anything on Saturday until he went back to his hotel room. Ouch. Then Syxx slaps Jericho, and they do a pull-apart, before going to commercial.
___________________
Back from the commercial, both men are being pulled apart by security, and Alex Wright has made his way down to ringside for an interview. He's being held down because he's from Germany. Yeah, you heard. Lex Luger's body has nothing on his. Ok...
___________________
The next match is Dean Malenko vs.....well, Eddie Guerrero attacks Dean in the aisleway, so yeah, it's him.
- Fuck yes for having this on Nitro. Ring attire is the next thing Eddie has to change, cause this is, um, terrible. Good match, of course, albeit super short. Chavo runs down to the ring and jumps on the ring apron, so Eddie rams Dean into him. Brainbuster, FROG SPLASH gets the pinfall for Eddie at 3:58. **.
___________________
Gene Okerlund's with Rey Mysterio, who's sick and tired of Kevin Nash's antics. See, Nash gets a kick out of, well, kicking Rey's ass. Mysterio challenges Nash for a match tonight, Nash comes out and makes fun of him, before accepting. Not going to end well.
___________________
After the break, here comes Eric Bischoff....and HOLLYWOOD HOGAN. No problem with a Hogan appearance. His nicknames are pretty funny, like "ROD THE BOD" and "FLEXY LEXY." They make me laugh, anyway. Almost a useless segment, actually, no almost about it, it just was.
___________________
Hector Garza is going to take on Steven Regal for the Television Title...
- Later on, there's a big six man tag, but I'm not going to spoil it. Anyway, this show hasn't been the best for Mexican wrestlers. No exception here, as Garza blows some stuff. Anyway, REGAL STRETCH gets the submission at 3:36.
___________________
NWO video is definitely skippable...I don't know if PPV ads are cut out, but if they never existed, then well, that's fuckin' stupid.
The Steiner Brothers are with Mean Gene, running their mouth about the title shot they deserve. Here comes Scott Hall and Kevin Nash in response...and they're bringing the whole crew. Hall has a contract for the Steiners to sign, and they sign it, then leave. BUT, the contract says that the Steiners have to get through Masahiro Chono and The GREAT MUTA before facing the Outsiders for the tag straps. The Steiners were made to look mentally handicapped, so...that was good.
___________________
Super Calo vs. Psychosis w/Sonny Onoo is next...if you forgot why Onoo is managing Psychosis, basically, they made a deal in a throwaway segment.
- Onoo grabs Super Calo's leg during a suplex, which causes Psychosis to fell on top of him and get the pinfall victory at 2:40. Literally a nothing match. *. LA PARKA runs down to the ring, and breaks a wooden chair over Calo's back. WHAT THE FUCK. Juventud Guerrera runs in, and causes Psychosis to dropkick La Parka on accident, before leaving. WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously though, what the hell is this?
___________________
Hour #2 begins with Mortis and Wrath w/James Vandenberg taking on High Voltage.
- Glacier and Ernest Miller run down to the ring really quick, and as Mortis has Rage in fireman's carry position and the referee is distracted, Miller kicks Mortis from the top rope and Rage pins Mortis for 3 at 1:15. 1/2*, I guess whenever they need a run-in for a loss, High Voltage gets the call. This isn't the first time, as you'd know from reading my blog.
___________________
There's a limo in the back, IS THIS THE IMPACT PLAYER!
Well, On the Road in Memphis is definitely fast-forward material, but....OMG WTF 1997 IT'S RAVEN SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW.
___________________
Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett is for the US Championship...
- Yes, Raven was really in the front row, I shit you not. Anyway, Jarrett's music sucks, and of course, so does his ring attire. Re-tool, please. Konnan is tolerable, and I'm sure that's a minority opinion. I don't think he's good by any stretch, but he's rather funny.
- Every match (save one) has been off, tonight. No exception here. Flair and the rest of the Horsemen come down to the ring, and Flair helps Jarrett win by figure-four submission at 4:11. *. Jarrett's Horsemen probation is over, and you know why, well, it's because Jarrett is no longer a Horseman. HAHA.
___________________
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash is the next contest...
- Boy oh boy. Rey runs down the aisle and attacks Nash, who then beats his ass. Wow. THE JACKKNIFE gives Nash the pinfally victory at 1:47. I don't understand the point of having Rey get whipped after challenging Nash. Whatever. Anyway, Konnan comes to the ring to save Rey...but instead, he heel hooks him and leaves. More dumb stuff, * for the match.
___________________
Rey gets wheeled out of the ring area, and Mike Tenay asks Raven a few questions. Tenay's questions get no answer, but Raven does push Tenay, indicating that he has nothing to say.
___________________
Now, as advertised, Hulk Hogan Oh wait, he's not in this match. Who the hell am I fooling? It's really Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Lex Luger, The Giant, and Diamond Dallas Page w/Kimberly.
- It isn't exactly a match, though. They brawl for about, uh, 3:10 before Hogan comes to the ring, and helps the NWO work over the WCW guys. Savage gives Page the FLYING ELBOW from up top, and wait a minute...
IT'S STING!
Umm...I assure you, that is not the real Sting.
THERE'S THE REAL STING!
Yeah, that guy clears the ring. CURT HENNIG runs down the aisle, RAVEN jumps the guardrail...but we are out of time.
___________________
That segment ran about 7 minutes, btw. Well, that made an otherwise dull show a very good one. I'm big on surprises, and this had some good ones. Best segment was obviously the finish, and the worst was Nash squashing Rey. I hated that.
___________________
RAW is from Des Moines, Iowa.
___________________
The first thing on tap is Triple H vs. Ken Shamrock.
- There, now Ken finally has his set entrance music. Took long enough. HHH cuts a promo before the match...don't forget, Canadian Stampede is next week. Also, Jerry Lawler is back on commentary for the duration of the show.
- Mankind runs down the ramp, distracting HHH, and Shamrock gives HHH a belly-to-belly suplex for 3 at 4:41. **, not a bad opener.
___________________
We look back to Ahmed Johnson joining the Nation and his subsequent injury...he blames the Undertaker for DOA injuring him, who knows why.
Next, Michael Cole interviews the Legion of Doom, and Sunny advertises this million dollar contest for SummerSlam. Ok.
___________________
D'Lo Brown and Faarooq vs. the Legion of Doom is the first of two semifinal contests in the Tag Team Tournament.
- The Godwinns are at the top of the entrance ramp...surely they'll interfere.
- I hate business exposing maneuvers. Case in point, Hawk gets tossed to the buckle, D'Lo puts his head down, and Hawk doesn't run at him, for a second or two at least. Dumb dumb dumb.
- Anyway, LOD hits the Doomsday Device on D'LO, the referee gets distracted, and Henry Godwinn runs down to the ring. He hits Hawk in the head with the slop bucket, and Faarooq pins Hawk for 3 at 3:02. 1/2*. Faarooq wants the title shot for Canadian Stampede, but it was handed to Vader. Why? Because Vader's white, you see. Savio Vega comes down the aisle, and he has a microphone. Faarooq starts talkin' about jalapenos, so Vega calls out his new gang. OH FUCK. They attack the Nation, then DOA come down and everyone fights. Funny stuff.
___________________
Michael Cole is with this new gang, who calls themselves Los Boricuas. They're here to kick some ASSSSS.
___________________
Video ad for RAW magazine...then, Scott Putski takes on Brian Christopher.
- No, not Putski. Please. Anyway, Light Heavyweights. JR mentions that Great Sasuke will be at Canadian Stampede...oh yes. Lawler distracts Putski, which allows Christopher to pick up the victory at 3:38. **. Putski tries to attack Christopher after the match, but Lawler and Christopher give him a spike piledriver. Heh.
___________________
Taker cuts a promo on Paul Bearer...mostly, when Bearer talks, wait to hear Taker's side of the story before judging him.
The Great Sasuke is facing Taka Michinoku at Canadian Stampede....
___________________
Next match is Brian Pillman vs. Mankind w/a Pick Me Steve sign.
- Pillman attacked a "fan" during Shotgun Saturday Night, so obviously, he commented about it in a pre-match interview. I love Mankind's sign he wears around his neck. Mankind gives JR a present...and it's a replica of his hand, yes, the hand he gave JR a mandible claw with.
- Stone Cold has a few comments of his own, and he says that Mankind sucks. Funny. After the commercial, HHH hits Brian Pillman with a chair on accident, and Mankind chases HHH to the back at 6:02 (shown), getting counted out. Weird.
___________________
Paul Bearer now makes his way to the ring...and some fan attacks him. No, really, someone did. Weird. He tells the story...and there's too much information to relay, here. Bearer does a great job at this. Well, basically, Undertaker burned the funeral home. Wow.
Sable has a clue for the SummerSlam Million Dollar Sweepstakes, it is...THE KEY! OMG.
___________________
The Headbangers are taking on the British Bulldog and Owen Hart in the other Tag Team Tournament Semifinal.
- Winner faces the Nation in the final, and the winner of that faces Steve Austin and a partner of his choice.
- Bret Hart is on the phone...and the match is over at 4:08 after Owen gives Mosh a jackknife pin. Hey, there's JIM CORNETTE! He talks for a bit, and blows a whistle, which sends a team down to the ring...that being THE HEADHUNTERS. Ok, wow. They kick the shit out of the Headbangers, obv. A cool gimmick (in my mind) would've been Cornette introducing a new team every week, only for them to get their asses kicked and disappear forever. Maybe I'm crazy.
___________________
Taker tells his story...Paul Bearer is not telling the full truth. Paul will be struck down.
___________________
Rockabilly vs. Vader is right now.
- WHO'S DA MAN! Honky Tonk Man hits Vader with a guitar, but it does nothing. Nothing at all. After 20 seconds, Undertaker runs down, and fights with Vader, until Paul Bearer grabs a microphone. Taker runs over to Bearer, grabs him, and says that he'll kill him. Bearer says that Kane told him the story, and that Kane's alive. Vader attacks Taker, which ends the segment.
___________________
Jim Neidhart vs. Steve Austin is the main event...
- Brutal. Absolutely brutal. Bret attacks Shamrock in the back, so he really wasn't in Calgary at all. Bret runs in for the DQ at 8:14, DUD. Bret applies the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR on Austin, until Mankind gives Bret the MANDIBLE CLAW. Pillman and Owen wreck Mick with chairs, and that ends the show. Boo.
___________________
Show was decent, I suppose. Not enough build for Canadian Stampede. Best segment was probably HHH vs. Shamrock, and the worst was definitely Austin vs. Neidhart. Brutal match.
___________________
WrestleWar '90 review will be up soon.
I "reviewed" the draft from 20 years ago so might as well do the one from 10 years ago. Like the 1993 draft, this draft featured quarterbacks being selected #1 and #2 overall. Also like that draft the #1 pick (Drew Bledsoe) turned out to be much better than the #2 pick (Rick Mirer) but in 1998 it was by a much larger scale as we would have a future Hall of Famer at #1 and all-time bust at #2.
1. Indianapolis - Peyton Manning, QB, Tennessee
My WEST COAST BIAS~ convinced myself that the next guy would be the better quarterback.
2. San Diego - Ryan Leaf, QB, Washington State
25 Career Games, 48.4% Comp Pct, 50.0 QB Rating, 14 TD, 36 Int, and a handful of public temper tantrums.
3. Arizona - Andre Wadsworth, DE, Florida State
Knee injuries killed his career barely after it got started.
4. Oakland - Charles Woodson, CB, Michigan
Outstanding early in his career but nagging injuries slowed him down quite a bit.
5. Chicago - Curtis Enis, RB, Penn State
Held out, showed up out of shape, and then blew out his knee. Pretty much useless.
6. St. Louis - Grant Wistrom, DE, Nebraska
Eight year starter but a tad overrated.
7. New Orleans - Kyle Turley, T, San Diego State
My guess is he'll end up killing someone during the usual, post-NFL lineman depression stage of his life.
8. Dallas - Greg Ellis, DE, North Carolina
Has had a career resurrection the last couple of years.
9. Jacksonville - Fred Tayor, RB, Florida
Passed the 10,000 yard rushing mark this past season.
10. Baltimore - Duane Starks, CB, Miami
Really good his first few years in the league, although probably helped by a great Ravens defense around him, and then flamed out pretty quickly once he left Baltimore.
11. Philadelphia - Tra Thomas, T, Florida State
Ten year starter and selected to three Pro Bowls.
12. Atlanta - Keith Brooking, LB, Georgia Tech
Overrated but still has had a pretty good career.
13. Cincinnati - Takeo Spikes, LB, Auburn
Was one of the best linebackers in the league for a few years.
14. Carolina - Jason Peter, DE, Nebraska
Check out his Real Sports segment to find out what happened to him.
15. Seattle - Anthony Simmons, LB, Clemson
Decent for a few years.
16. Tennessee - Kevin Dyson, WR, Utah
Place in NFL history is cemented due to the Music City Miracle and the final play of Super Bowl XXXV but really nothing special as a player.
17. Cincinnati - Brian Simmons, LB, North Carolina
Eight year starter.
18. New England - Robert Edwards, RB, Georgia
Infamously blew out his knee in an NFL flag football game on the beach during Pro Bowl week after his rookie year.
19. Green Bay - Vonnie Holliday, DE, North Carolina
Another decent UNC defensive player.
20. Detroit - Terry Fair, CB, Tennessee
Seven interceptions in four years.
21. Minnesota - Randy Moss, WR, Marshall
His off the field problems dropped him this far. Still pissed he broke Jerry Rice's single season, receiving touchdown record this past year which I thought was near unbreakable.
22. New England - Tebucky Jones, S, Syracuse
Nothing special.
23. Oakland - Mo Collins, G, Florida
Five year starter but was pretty terrible.
24. N.Y. Giants - Shaun Williams, S, UCLA
Just a warm body.
25. Jacksonville - Donovin Darius, S, Syracuse
Throws a nice lariat.
26. Pittsburgh - Alan Faneca, G, LSU
Seven time Pro Bowl selection.
27. Kansas City - Victor Riley, T, Auburn
Was a decent run blocker, terrible pass blocker.
28. San Francisco - R.W. McQuarters, CB, Oklahoma State
Great name, pretty good punt returner, awful cornerback.
29. Miami - John Avery, RB, Mississippi
XFL's all-time leading rusher.
30. Denver - Marcus Nash, WR, Tennessee
Four receptions in 11 career games.
Other Notable Picks
33. Arizona - Corey Chavous, CB, Vanderbilt
35. Chicago - Tony Parrish, S, Washington
38. Dallas - Flozell Adams, T, Michigan State
39. Buffalo - Sam Cowart, LB, Florida State
44. Miami - Patrick Surtain, CB, Southern Miss
46. Tennessee - Samari Rolle, CB, Florida State
48. Washington - Stephen Alexander, TE, Oklahoma
58. San Francisco - Jeremy Newberry, C, California
64. Chicago - Olin Kreutz, C, Washington
65. St. Louis - Leonard Little, DE, Tennessee
72. Philadelphia - Jeremiah Trotter, LB, Stephen F Austin
76. Seattle - Ahman Green, RB, Nebraska
78. Cincinnati - Mike Goff, G, Iowa
91. Denver - Brian Griese, QB, Michigan
92. Pittsburgh - Hines Ward, WR, Georgia
93. Indianapolis - Steve McKinney, C, Texas A&M
111. N.Y. Jets - Jason Fabini, T, Cincinnati
119. San Francisco - Lance Schulters, S, Hofstra
139. Tennessee - Benji Olson, G, Washington
173. Minnesota - Matt Birk, C, Harvard
180. San Francisco - Fred Beasley, FB, Auburn
187. Green Bay - Matt Hasselbeck, QB, Boston College
199. Atlanta - Ephraim Salaam, T, San Diego State
226. Arizona - Pat Tillman, S, Arizona State
5 p.m.
• So I was about to make the old "well at least she didn't blame thison the brake pedal sticking," but then I found that this joke has already been spent. No matter.
• Ice went to jail for PUSHING a bitch?
Ahh, now the truth comes out.
Then why isn't she in jail for lying? There are time I feel bad for women -- like when disgusting men hit on them for no reason whatsoever (and no, this isn't from personal experience). However, all a chick has to do is accuse some guy of abusing her and it's off to the slammer.
Now time for some more news stuff...
Now we get the background on V-Ice, which is common for many stories involving public figures.
But here's the best part.
Anyone remember buying those tape/CD singles back in the '90s? Memories.
Who knows how long it'll take to get this up...I'll update when I'm done. Ok, I watched this on Saturday. Wasn't able to finish until Friday. Not very good.
___________________
Of course there's an opening video, but who really cares about that stuff? From now on, if there isn't anything notable in the opening video, I'm not mentioning it.
Anyway, the opener is Rey Mysterio vs. MVP for the United States Championship.
Blow-by-blow: Rey's wearing this, um, thing over his head during the introductions...one side looks somewhat like the mask of LA PARKA, and the other half is yellow and ugly. MVP takes Rey down to the canvas at the beginning, but Rey kicks away at MVP, allowing himself to regain his footing. Rey gives MVP a flying headscissors, and pins him with a la magistral, unfortunately only getting a 1 count. Rey armdrags MVP to the outside, then gets ready to dive onto MVP...BUT, the referee gets in the way. We're not allowing that in these parts, not tonight, anyway. After his spiel, Rey just does it anyway. DISOBEYING THE OFFICIALS. Inside the ring, Rey charges into MVP, and MVP launches him into the turnbuckle pad. Ouch? MVP covers Rey for a 2 count, before going to a neck vice. After a drop-toe hold we go right back to the neck vice, which is then powered out of, only for MVP to give Rey a knee-to-face variation. MVP now applies an armbar, then covers Rey for 2. I don't really understand how that's supposed to "make sense." MVP puts Rey on his shoulders, presumably for a fireman's carry, but Rey lands on his feet during the move, and gives MVP a hurricanrana. Rey then gives MVP a springboard hurricanrana for a 2 count, and the crowd, well, they hoped it was over. But it wasn't. Rey goes for a springboard seated senton onto MVP, but he botches it, and both men tumble to the canvas. I laughed. To give this match a boost, Rey jumps backwards (landing back first) onto the top rope and moonsaults onto MVP, for a 2 count. Well, that was different. Both MVP and Rey go up to the top and they fight, with Rey getting the better, as he gives MVP a hurricanrana from up there for 2. MVP gives Rey a big boot for 2, and Rey counters an attempted hold into a reverse DDT, for a 2 count. Rey misses a 619 attempt, as MVP ducks out of the ring. On the outside, Rey gives MVP a hurricanrana, but as the referee is making his count, MVP decides that he's done, getting counted out at 11:28. After the match, Rey gives MVP a 619. Yay(!) and all that.
Match Analysis: Standard fare. BUT, do I think these two could do a lot better? Hell yes, they could. **1/2 for a match which was slightly disappointing.
___________________
We flashback to Jeff Hardy and Triple H's victory over the opposing team at Survivor Series, and then, Grisham interviews Jeff Hardy. I WILL NOT QUIT, and that sort of thing.
___________________
Kane and CM Punk (ECW Champion) are now taking on Big Daddy V and Mark Henry w/Matt Striker in a tag team match...
Blow-by-blow: Well, this sucks. To set this match up, Punk was attacked on ECW by his opponents. Henry tosses Punk to the canvas, but Punk gives Henry a few knees and tags in Kane. Kane dropkicks Henry in the knee, before tagging in Punk, who gives Henry a dropkick. Henry responds with a clothesline, and then tags in Big Daddy V, who goes to work on Punk. Matt Striker kicks Punk in the back, which allows Big Daddy V to give him a gorilla press slam. Henry misses a charge to the corner, which allows Kane to tag in and give Henry a clothesline from the top rope. Viscera tags in and gives Kane a powerbomb for a 2 count, followed up by a big splash. Henry tags in to give Kane a bearhug, then tags Viscera in, for a clothesline. Henry comes right back in, but Kane gives Henry a DDT, allowing Kane to tag in Punk. He gives Viscera an enziguri, but after kicking Striker, Viscera gives Punk a samoan drop for the finish at 10:40.
Match Analysis: That was poop. 1/2*.
___________________
Vickie Guerrero is in the back, with Edge. I try my best to just ignore those segments...
___________________
Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels is next up...
Blow-by-blow: This should be fun. To start, both wrestlers slug it out. Typical. Kennedy slams Shawn and gives him an elbowdrop, before a backbreaker for 2. They went quick into that. Kennedy sends Shawn into the corner and upside down, but Shawn comes right back with a suplex. A single-arm DDT follows and so does a fujiwara armbar, in favor of Shawn. A cover gets two, so Kennedy knocks HBK to the outside. Smart move. Shawn rams Kennedy into the guardrail, and when Kennedy places his hand on the steel steps, Shawn steps on it. Nice touch, which will add to the match. I really dig it. We get more handwork of the knucklelock variety, until Shawn pins Kennedy for 1. Gee. Kennedy rams Shawn's back into the post when both are standing on the apron, and after coming inside, Kennedy kicks Shawn right in the face for a 2 count. Kennedy goes to the backbreaker submission hold, then puts Shawn down and elbowdrops him for 2. Kennedy goes up to the 2nd rope for a move, obviously, and when Shawn puts his foot up to counter, Kennedy grabs it and gives him an elbowdrop. That was, um, weird looking. To the chinlock we go, until Shawn backdrops Kennedy over the top. In Kennedy comes, and there goes Shawn's flying forearm. Kip-up, inverted atomic drop x2, slam, flying elbow off the top. Yeah, it's usually the same. TUNE UP THE BAND, but Kennedy counters and rolls Shawn up for 2. Shawn counters a fireman's carry pickup with a roll-up of his own for 2, and then Kennedy slingshots him into the ringpost. Ouch. Kennedy gives Shawn a rolling fireman's carry slam, and unsurprisingly, it only gets a 2 count. Kennedy tries for the MIC CHECK (WTF), but it's blocked. Kennedy punches Shawn with his hurt left hand after his right handed punch is blocked, SWEET CHIN MUSIC, Shawn wins by pinfall at 15:16. Hell yes to that finish.
Match Analysis: This was the standard HBK PPV match. BUT, the standard HBK PPV match is ***. Add in that finish, and you've got ***1/4. Do I get tired of the formula...oh, not really. It is formula, but the formula is very good.
___________________
Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton, who says the same stuff Jeff Hardy did, but in a different way. Wow, talk about good writing.
___________________
Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion) vs. Triple H is our for a title shot at the Royal Rumble match...
Blow-by-blow: They shake hands at the start, you know, because they respect each other. HHH pushes Hardy away though, and gives him a shoulderblock. Then HHH gives him a clothesline, but he misses a charge to the corner and gets dropkicked. Jeff misses a baseball slide as HHH is outside the ring, but he's able to ram HHH into the retaining barrier anyway. Jeff falls off when he tries to walk on the top of that wall, and HHH gives him a clothesline. Back in, and HHH slaps Jeff. HHH wants Jeff to fight him. Well. HHH misses a few punches, so Jeff gives him an inverted atomic drop, and the AAHHHH legdrop to the nuts. A dropkick follows for 2, and then, Jeff slaps HHH. HHH smiles and tosses Hardy out of the ring, so he can ram him into the steel steps, and the ring apron. HHH gives Jeff a few elbowdrops inside the ring, and then he pushes Jeff off the top rope and down to the floor. HHH elbows Jeff for a 2 count, and then gives him an abdominal stretch. A suplex is not allowed, so Jeff gives HHH an enziguri. HHH gives Jeff a clothesline for 2...then we go to sleep. Sleep. After that hold, Jeff gives HHH a missile dropkick. After 2 clotheslines Jeff goes up and punches HHH 10 times, but he misses a seated dropkick, allowing HHH to get...a 2 count. Jeff clotheslines HHH over the top rope, and follows him to the floor with a pescado. You know, WWE has trained their crowd so that whenever someone does that, there's a good-sized pop. One of the positives of the "WWE Style," I believe. Jeff gives HHH a crossbody off the top for a 2 count, then follows it up with a WHISPER IN THE WIND, which also gets a 2 count. Jeff now goes for the TWIST OF FATE, but HHH counters with a DDT for a 2 count. HHH gives Jeff a samoan drop when Jeff tried for a crucifix, which gets a 2 count. What also gets a 2 count is when Jeff rolls HHH over, in a strange counter. HHH misses a charge to the corner, which finally allows Jeff to hit that seated dropkick of his. Jeff misses the SWANTON BOMB, so HHH pins him for 2. Finsher reversals galore, and it ends when HHH gives Jeff a spinebuster. HHH tries for the PEDIGREE, but Jeff counters and gives him a jackknife pin for the 3 count at 15:23. You know what, that pop wasn't nearly as big as people made it sound.
Match Analysis: I don't think it was as good as the last match, and the big crowd reactions for Jeff didn't really pick up until after this show. I'll give it ***.
___________________
The Great Khali is facing Finlay, but first, Khali cuts a promo. But I don't really care.
Blow-by-blow: Khali pushes Finlay down at the start of the match, and goes through the typical big man offense. Punch, kick, choke, that is. On the outside, Khali rams Finlay into the apron, but Khali hits the ringpost on accident. To the nervehold we go, and then, Khali gives Finlay a horrendous spinning heel kick. Back to the neverhold, and then the HEAD CRUSH, but Hornswoggle distracts Khali. Khali hits Hornswoggle and slams Finlay, before taking a turnbuckle pad off. Honestly, my intelligence is being sapped as I type this. Finlay has a shillelagh, the referee takes it away, Hornswoggle gives Khali a lowblow, Hornswoggle gives Finlay another shillelagh, and he hits Khali with it in order to get the pinfall at 6:04. Whew. That was sorta tough to explain.
Match Analysis: Sucked. Avoid at all costs. DUD.
___________________
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton is for the WWE Championship.
Blow-by-blow: Video first, and yeah, I don't think anyone buys that Jericho's going to win the belt. At least not yet. Jericho gives Orton an armdrag to start, and when Orton responds with a few punches, he also misses a charge to the corner. Jericho gives him another armdrag, and drops him along the top rope. Ouch. Jericho kicks away and applies an armbar, before giving him a spinning heel kick which sends Orton to the outside. Jericho flies out onto Orton with a PLANCHA, which is something he hasn't done in a while. Obviously because he hasn't wrestled in a while. Like, duh. Orton tries for the elevated DDT, but Jericho counters and goes for the WALLS OF JERICHO, which is also countered and turned into an Orton DDT. The cover gets 2, as does a cover after an Orton dropkick. A great looking dropkick, I should add. Before the dropkick, there was a chinlock that I didn't mention. Well, I didn't mention it because Orton went right back to it. Enough is enough, and as soon as I say it, the chinlock is done. Both collide, and after both get up, Jericho clotheslines Orton for 2. Jericho gives Orton a missile dropkick for 2, and in response, Orton gives Jericho a powerslam, which also gets 2. Jericho gives Orton a backslide for 2, but Orton rams Jericho's shoulder into the ringpost. Orton gives Jericho a superplex...for 2. Orton misses a dropkick, and as Jericho attempts to give him the WALLS OF JERICHO, Orton gives him a small package for 2. Jericho gives Orton an enziguri and a facebuster, but the LIONSAULT attempt misses. Orton gives Jericho the 3.0 backbreaker and primes himself for the RKO, but he can't get it, and Jericho gives him the LIONSAULT, for 2. The crowd is now in it, for Jericho to win it. Ok, that was a rotten attempt at humor. Orton sends Jericho to the outside, and after a bit of fighting, Jericho accidentally charges into JBL, who's sitting at the Smackdown announce table (you see, I know what happens, but I'd have put this down even if I didn't. It's notable.). Anyway, Jericho pushes JBL out of the way, and gives Orton a flying forearm off the top rope, as both wrestlers are back inside the ring. Jericho tries for the CODEBREAKER, but Orton rams him into the buckle. Orton tries to kick Jericho's head off, but Jericho counters and puts him in the WALLS OF JERICHO. The hold lasts for a long time and the crowd's going apeshit cause they think there's gonna be a new champ, but no, JBL runs in and kicks Jericho in the head, getting Orton disqualified at 15:04. Well I'll be damned. After the match, Orton gives Jericho an RKO. You know, because Jericho ain't on his level.
Match Analysis: I thought this was better than any other match on the card, for at least one notable reason. Doubt of the outcome. All too often crowds don't pop for the nearfall, so this was definitely welcome. Pretty easy ***1/2 for me. The chinlock that Orton ALWAYS goes to nearly kills the momentum of every single match. Unfortunately.
___________________
Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix is for the Women's Title...but first, Jillian Hall comes out, to sing. Man, that's fuckin' funny.
Blow-by-blow: Thankfully, Mickie interrupts that singing crap by making her way to the ring. Also, please be short. I want to finish watching this. Phoenix gives Mickie a shoulder block, but she misses a charge to the corner, only to give Mickie a powerbomb anyway, for 2. Phoenix gives Mickie a dragon sleeper now, but Mickie kicks away, breaking the hold. Phoenix puts Mickie in TREE OF WOE position on the buckles, but Phoenix misses her charge and Mickie rolls her up for 2. Mickie gives Phoenix a hurricanrana, then follows it up with a LOU THESZ PRESS. Mickie gives Phoenix a seated dropkick and a neckbreaker, then goes up top, nailing her with a missile dropkick. Unfortunately, Phoenix just gives her a fisherman's buster kinda out of nowhere, and that gets the pinfall at 4:46. So, Phoenix retains her belt.
Match Analysis: People don't care, which sucks. If they did, these matches would need to be longer, and I'd be in favor of that. But with people who don't care, 5 minutes is long enough. *.
___________________
Our main event is Edge vs. The Undertaker vs. Batista in a Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Blow-by-blow: WWE's been running too many multi-man title matches lately. Just an observation. Tazz is on commentary for this one, because JBL went to the back after his attack on Jericho. Batista and Taker fight over who gets to take out Edge at the start, and Taker rams Batista into the retaining wall. Batista rams Taker into the buckle back inside the ring, and clotheslines Taker over the top and to the floor, where Taker then begins to choke Edge. Batista gives Edge a baseball slide, and Taker then rams Batista into the steel steps. Taker gives Batista the apron legdrop, but Batista rams Taker into the post, and goes back into the ring. Edge knocks Taker off the apron, and Batista gives Edge a black hole slam type, um, slam, for a 2 count. Edge drop-toe holds Batista into the turnbuckle, but Batista comes right back with a powerslam, for 2. Taker tries another apron legdrop after a few punches, but Batista clotheslines Taker instead. Batista gives him a spinebuster and goes for the BATISTA BOMB, but Edge lowblows Batista and gives him a DDT for a 2 count, as Taker pulled the referee out of the ring. Taker gives Edge SNAKE EYES, and the usual big boot follows for a 2 count. OLD SCHOOL on Edge and Taker goes for the LAST RIDE, but Batista gives him a spear. Batista tosses Edge out, and Taker applies a triangle choke on Batista, which surely would make one believe the match is over. Edge runs over to the ring bell, and guess what, he rings it, which gets Taker to break the hold. That was cute. Taker's really mad, but Edge SPEARS him for 2. Same happens to Batista, but it only gets 2. Edge grabs 2 chairs, but Batista kicks one into his face, and Taker clotheslines him over the top rope. Batista goes to the rope rope, but Taker crotches him, and gives him a superplex, for a 2 count. OLD SCHOOL follows, but Batista catches Taker on the way down, and gives him a spinebuster. Batista SPEARS EDGE, but Taker rams Batista into the buckle. WAIT A SECOND. That was not Edge who Batista SPEARED. Hmmm. Taker chokeslams Batista, and another Edge (yes, I caught on), but Batista clotheslines Taker for 2 as Taker's in a zone. A big boot zone, that is. Taker gives Batista the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, but Edge (the real one) hits Taker in the back with a chair, and covers Batista to win the World Heavyweight Title at 13:00. That ends what was a very, very good show.
Match Analysis: Yeah, every match with these three facing one another is pretty good. ***1/4. A bit too overbooked for my taste, but it was fun and enjoyable nevertheless.
___________________
Rating: Good. Almost great, but based on my Survivor Series 2007 review, I can't go there, can I? If there was something over ***1/2, I would've went with the great rating, but of the PPV's I've seen from 2007, this is definitely the best. I probably should call this show great, but I won't.
Best Segment: Uh, Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho.
Worst Segment: The Great Khali vs. Finlay. I wish this Khali experiment would just fucking end.
___________________
I'll probably have a RAW and Nitro from 6/30/97 review up on Sunday.
8:30 p.m.
• So it looks like there was one talent "the stars" had.
I don't care for much of reality TV outside of "Cops" and other videos of blacks and rednecks getting beat down. That doesn't mean I hate the genre, though. For some sick reason the better half and I have seen a number of Vh1's "Rock of Love" shows this past season, although I think it's more for the train wreck factor than desired viewing. Ugh, as I type, she's got "Survivor" on downstairs.
• Maybe all the protests about the Olympic torch headed to China isn't about the country's crackdown on Tibet and people that like to do yoga in public.
Oh lord...
5 p.m.
• So this is what keeps me going. I had a chat with my one former co-worker earlier today, and he says that the person hired to replace me is totally screwing things up. Remember those monthly projects I always spent weekends performing, which I always finished by the 18th of each month? Well, the n00b was hired the first day or two of March and has not yet FINISHED March's project and probably won't for AT LEAST two more weeks.
• Tonight marks the start of the NHL playoffs. Might as well get these predictions over with:
East
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Boston Bruins (8)
Still trying to figure out how Montreal got the top East spot. It might help if I paid attention to the games. Habs in 5.
Pittsburgh Penguins (2) v Ottawa Senators (7)
Last year the Sens took care of the Pens in quick fashion. This year it's payback. Pens in 6.
Washington Capitals (3) v Philadelphia Flyers (6)
The Caps have that guy with the O and a really long last name. However, I think the Flyers will goon him to submission. Flyers in 6.
New Jersey Devils (4) v New York Rangers (5)
How many time do these two play each other. Devils in 5.
*******************************************8
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Philadelphia Flyers (6)
The Flyers can goon one man, but they can't goon them all. Habs in 5.
Pittsburgh Penguins (2) v New Jersey Devils (4)
The playoffs are when a goalie can shut down an entire team. However, it's time for Marty to break down. Pens in 6.
*******************************************
Montreal Canadiens (1) v Pittsburgh Penguins (2)
Oh what the hell, I'll go with the homer pick. Pens in 7.
West
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Nashville Predators (8)
I remember getting burned by Nashville last year. Fuck 'em. Wings in 5.
San Jose Sharks (2) v Calgary Flames (7)
How about we go with San Jose winning in 6.
Minnesota Wild (3) v Colorado Avalanche (6)
I'll guess this series will have the most overtimes. Don't know why. Wild in 6.
Anaheim Ducks (4) v Dallas Stars (5)
I don't see the Stars getting out of the first round anymore. Ducks in 5.
*******************************************
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Anaheim Ducks (4)
Detroit tends to choke, but I ame getting the feeling that this year they won't. Wings in 5.
San Jose Sharks (2) v Minnesota Wild (3)
Yikes, I've picked all favorites so far. Wild in 7.
*******************************************
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Minnesota Wild (3)
Steve Yzerman retired, right? Wings in 5.
Stanley Cup
Detroit Red Wings (1) v Pittsburgh Penguins (2)
I'm not that big a homer. Wings in 5.
9 p.m.
• So this past weekend I had to get my driver’s license renewed. Actually, I forgot all about this until I went to rent a car for my recent business trip. The rent-a-car guy took one look at my license and noted that I had a few days before it expired. Oops. This of course meant it was time to go to the DMV. Woo-hoo.
As I entered this public works cornucopia there was the “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” I was number 56. They were serving some number in the low 40s. The time was 10:14 a.m. and the ticket stated that there would be “an estimated 14 minute wait.”
…
At 10:50 a.m. my number was finally called. And the only way I was able to get served so “early” was because a half dozen people didn’t respond when their numbers were up. I think what burns me up the most in these situations is that while it takes other people 20 minutes to perform such feats as check into a hotel, pay for groceries or order stamps at the post office, when I get up to the counter my transaction lasts about 30 seconds. And of course this time was no exception.
An estimated 14-minute wait turned out to be 45 minutes. I sure can’t wait until we get government health care – you think the lines are long now at the doctor’s office. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Before I leave this entry, I also have to relay the story of the two people sitting behind me who didn’t realize there was a “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” They sat behind us for a good 20 minutes before realizing that the names being called out were for people who already had their photos taken and were being called up to receive their ID. The fact these people are allowed to vote sometimes scare the hell out of me.
10 a.m.
• So last week I took a business trip to Buffalo. Wow. Just wow. First off, I stayed at the Hyatt Regency downtown, and after I got everything settled I decided to take a trip outside. Big mistake. Just about every single building within a several block radius was boarded up or vacant. The only two exceptions to this were the Chinese takeout place, which looked to be on its last leg, and the welfare office. And another thing: what is up with all the black people? I get that this was “downtown,” but I wasn’t expecting to be accosted every other block by some person asking for change. I almost forgot, there was a CVS store, but they closed up shop before 6 p.m. Man, no wonder people are so miserable in the Northeast.
9 p.m.
• Wow. That's a bitch.
I guess beggers can't be choosers if you're waiting for a new set of lungs, but still.
Another year of baseball is finally here. Who cares if it is too cold to reasonably enjoy the game?
April 1, Lehigh Valley @ Reading (exhibition)
A cold front threatened this game. While every place in eastern PA got drenched, the rain somehow avoided Reading entirely. We were treated to a 66 degree gametime temperature, fantastic conditions. This game pit the Phillies' top two minor league affiliates against each other to benefit Baseballtown charities. I can not stress enough how terrific a place First Energy Stadium is. The staff puts together a tremendous gameday experience, prices are good, concessions are reasonable. Plus, you can see Jason Donald take a wizz in the dugout!
Lehigh Valley won 6-2.
April 3-5, Lehigh Valley @ Scranton/Wilkes-Barre
The first official games for the Lehigh Valley IronPigs. Less said about the games, the better. As much as Reading puts into their gameday experience, Scranton does the opposite. No promotions, no excitement, barely any information for the fans. And that nice weather? Gone. Saturday was particularly fun. Afternoon game, bound to be a bit warm, right? 41 f'n degrees. And my dumb ass brought a short sleeve shirt. Put on a brave face though. Considered a sweater at the gift shop, but if someone bet me I couldn't make it through the game for $38, I'd take the bet.
Next week: Three games at Scranton, against the Louisville Bats.
-Charlton Heston died. When I was a kid, he was one of my favorite actors. "A Touch of Evil" is one of my all time favorite movies, and has a hell of a soundtrack. I could go on and on, but I won't. RIP Chuck.
-Taigastar got sent to the Gulag, then was let out. While I don't like her, she didn't deserve to be there. Deon, on the other hand...
-Scott Keith is supposed to be doing a Q & A here. I remember reading his old reviews, especially his review of "Royal Rumble 94." His review of Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is hilarious (complete with Depeche Mode reference!), and pretty dead on. Also, I remember Sean Shannon was pretty universally loathed, and seems to have diappeared off the face of the Earth. What happened to the doofus?
-Finally, I won't be doing music related entries here anymore. They'll instead go on my Last.FM blog.
NFL Draft is only three weeks away and this year it might actually go by at a relatively brisk pace with the shortened draft times. Since it is that time of year it's time for me to pick out a past NFL Draft and run down the first round from that year with little to no insight. I picked 1988 because it was 20 years ago, simple enough? 1988 featured several great wide receivers but little depth overall after the first two rounds. It's also the draft where there wasn't a single quarterback taken in the first two rounds and the first one taken in the 3rd round was Tom Tupa who would later become a punter.
1. Atlanta - Aundray Bruce, LB, Auburn
Lasted 11 years but only two of them were spent as a starter so that would definitely would equal to a bust for a #1 pick overall.
2. Kansas City - Neil Smith, DE, Nebraska
Good pick. Six Pro Bowls and over 100 career sacks.
3. Detroit - Bennie Blades, S, Miami
Halfway decent defensive back but not quite the career you'd hope for a pick this high. His brother Brian was taken in the 2nd round of this draft.
4. Tampa Bay - Paul Gruber, T, Wisconsin
12 year starter but kind of surprising he never went to a Pro Bowl as I seem to remember him being regarded as one of the better left tackles in the league during his prime. Maybe he just has a good rating Tecmo Super Bowl and that's why I thought he was good.
5. Cincinnati - Rickey Dixon, S, Oklahoma
Lasted five years, doing nothing of note.
6. L.A. Raiders - Tim Brown, WR, Notre Dame
Slam dunk future Hall of Famer.
7. Green Bay - Sterling Sharpe, WR, South Carolina
Was on his way to a Hall of Fame career it seemed before a neck injury cut it short in 1994.
8. N.Y. Jets - Dave Cadigan, G, USC
I honestly never heard of him but apparently he was a five year starter.
9. L.A. Raiders - Terry McDaniel, CB, Tennessee
Five time Pro Bowl selection.
10. N.Y. Giants - Eric Moore, G, Indiana
Another guard for a New York team that I have no memories of.
11. Dallas - Michael Irvin, WR, Miami
I don't think there is a football player I despised more than him.
12. Phoenix - Ken Harvey, LB, California
Selected to four Pro Bowls but he went to Cal and therefore he sucks.
13. Philadelphia - Keith Jackson, TE, Oklahoma
Very good receiving tight end who went to five Pro Bowls.
14. L.A. Rams - Gaston Green, RB, UCLA
Short career. Rushed for over 1000 yards in 1991.
15. San Diego - Anthony Miller, WR, Tennessee
Obviously overshadowed by the three receivers taken ahead of him but had a very good career as well.
16. Miami - Eric Kumerow, DE, Ohio State
Pretty impressive that we got 15 picks in before getting to a complete bust.
17. New England - John Stephens, RB, Northwest State
Made the Pro Bowl as a rookie but did little else after that.
18. Pittsburgh - Aaron Jones, DE, Eastern Kentucky
Played eight years but did anyone notice?
19. Minnesota - Randall McDaniel, G, Arizona State
12 Pro Bowl selections and should be a future Hall of Famer.
20. L.A. Rams - Aaron Cox, WR, Arizona State
Well the great run of wide receivers in this draft had to end eventually.
21. Cleveland - Clifford Charlton, LB, Florida
Bust.
22. Houston - Lorenzo White, RB, Michigan State
Had one great year in 1992 but didn't see a whole lot of carries in his career playing in the run and shoot.
23. Chicago - Brad Muster, RB, Stanford
Decent fullback who, like most running backs, had a short career.
24. New Orleans - Craig Heyward, RB, Pittsburgh
Very popular, fat fullback who died at age 39 due to brain cancer.
25. L.A. Raiders - Scott Davis, DT, Illinois
Not quite as good as the Raiders first two picks.
26. Denver - Ted Gregory, DT, Syracuse
Was cut during training camp. Seriously how does a team fuck up so bad on it's first pick that the guy can't even make it out of camp?
27. Chicago - Wendell Davis, WR, LSU
Pretty good receiver who's best known for having his career ended when he tore both ACLs while running a pass route on the god awful Veterans Stadium turf in 1993.
Other Notable Picks
29. Detroit - Chris Speilman, LB, Ohio State
30. Philadelphia - Eric Allen, CB, Arizona State
31. Cincinnati - Ickey Woods, RB, UNLV
36. N.Y. Giants - Jumbo Elliott, T, Michigan
39. San Francisco - Pierce Holt, DE, Angelo State
40. Buffalo - Thurman Thomas, RB, Oklahoma State
41. Dallas - Ken Norton, LB, UCLA
43. New England - Vincent Brown, LB, Mississippi Valley State
44. Pittsburgh - Dermontti Dawson, C, Kentucky
46. L.A. Rams - Flipper Anderson, WR, UCLA
49. Seattle - Brian Blades, WR, Miami
50. Cleveland - Michael Dean Perry, DT, Clemson
63. N.Y. Jets - Erik McMillan, S, Missouri
68. Phoenix - Tom Tupa, QB, Ohio State
74. N.Y. Jets - James Hasty, CB, Washington State
76. Indianapolis - Chris Chandler, QB, Washington
80. San Francisco - Bill Romanowski, LB, Boston College
125. Houston - Chris Dishman, CB, Purdue
159. Washington - Stan Humphries, QB, Louisiana-Monroe
239. Miami - Jeff Cross, DE, Missouri
252. Pittsburgh - John Jackson, T, Eastern Kentucky
First on this house show run, is 3/16/86 from Madison Square Garden.
___________________
Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura are on commentary, thankfully. Lord Alfred Hayes doing this wouldn't have been best.
The first contest is Sivi Afi vs. Moondog Spot.
- Afi wearing Snuka type trunks makes this a little confusing. Too confusing for me, anyway. Crossbody off the top gives Afi the pinfall victory at 7:07. **.
___________________
Hercules Hernandez w/Freddie Blassie is now facing George Wells.
- Wells is a bland personality, but he can wrestle. And that's good enough for me.
- Hercules has this Brody thing going on with his hair, me no like. Anyway, after a missed Wells charge to the corner, Hercules covers him for 3, at 4:15. Something about that ending just didn't feel right. 1/2*.
___________________
The next match is a special ladies tag match featuring wrestlers from Japan, those two being Dump Matsumoto and Bull Nakano, who are taking on Linda Gonzales and Velvet McIntyre.
- Nakano looks much smaller than she did during her run in the WWF in 1995. Much. Can't say that her partner's small, I'm afraid.
- Ventura and Monsoon are much more cordial than they usually are, which is a strange thing to hear. At least for me, it is. The referee is terrible. I don't know how to explain what he's doing wrong, but you know, when teams make those false tags that the referee doesn't see? Well, he's looking right at them, every time.
- Dump gives Gonzales an airplane spin and a big splash, getting the pinfall victory at 10:02. *1/2. Too weird.
___________________
Pedro Morales vs. Cowboy Bob Orton is up next...
- Orton is really good, you know. Pedro, not so much, IMO. There's table usage which is definitely for the best, but nobody actually goes through them. Orton lifts Pedro up for a suplex, and crotches him along the top rope instead, which somehow gets a disqualification at 9:20. Since when is that a DQ? Anyway, both men fight after the match, and Pedro gets the best. More ** stuff.
___________________
Magnificent Muraco w/Mr. Fuji vs. King Tonga is on, now.
- It's kinda weird to see Muraco facing Haku. I don't really know why, it just is.
- Tonga wanted to give Muraco a handshake, but Muraco spit at him. Oh, gee. Jesse Ventura wonders how Adrian Adonis would "get over" where Uncle Elmer comes from. Hopefully I'm not the only one who found him saying that a bit odd. Muraco hits Tonga with Fuji's cane for the victory at 8:09, after a less than remarkable affair. *3/4.
___________________
There's another ladies tag, this time featuring Lioness Asuka and Chigusa Nagoya, who are facing Penny Mitchell and Leilani Kai.
- These two ladies from Japan really don't look like ladies. They look like little boys. This match is kinda boring, although to be fair, I don't even remember why. That's just what I had on my paper. Asuka gives Mitchell a crossbody for 3 at 7:05. **.
___________________
The next match is Hillbilly Jim vs. King Kong Bundy w/Bobby Heenan.
- Oh no. It was bad enough at WrestleMania III when they tagged up with a few midgets, but this? Honestly, I hardly even paid attention. AVALANCHE and BIG SPLASH give Bundy the pinfall victory at 6:14. 1/4*.
___________________
Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat...
- I have no idea what this one's about. It's always nice to watch a favorite, in this case of course, being Steamboat. When Fuji's wearing his suit, you couldn't tell that he weighed as much as he did.
- Fuji's selling is comical. An audible "oh shit" slips out when Steamboat applies an armbar....
- There's a criss-cross, Fuji stops, Steamboat crossbody, pinfall at 6:10. *.
___________________
Making his Madison Square Garden debut, it's JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS, who's taking on Lanny Poffo.
- Another favorite. Yeah, boy. While not the best of wrestlers, Jake is another favorite too. When he was talking about titles on his DVD, and how he was so over that he didn't really need a title or something like that, I disagree. Obviously he never would've held a title because of his drug problems, but holding a title would've pushed him to the next stratosphere, that being main event contention. His lack of wrestling skill is un-important. The guy could talk, and if you could talk, well....
- Lanny botches a plancha attempt, and wow, he could've killed himself. He took a header for sure. DDT finishes things up, giving Jake the pinfall at 6:47. Damien comes out and molests Poffo, as Poffo looks like he's ready to bail out of the ring at a moment's notice. *1/4 for the match, which was less than spectacular.
___________________
Gorilla Monsoon is with Randy Savage, the Intercontinental Champion. He has words for this beaner named Tito Santana. Yes, he really called Tito a beaner.
Obviously, Tito Santana and Randy Savage are going to have a match for the Intercontinental Title. Obviously.
Blow-by-blow: I love Savage. You already know that. Tito chases Savage out of the ring, and when Savage tries to make his re-entrance, Tito does the same one more time. Tito catches up to Savage, and tosses him into the guardrail, thankfully. I hate when those chase segments end up with the babyface foolishly chasing the heel in the ring, only to be beaten down. It's stupid. Tito brings Savage back in, and quickly atomic drops him, sending him over the top rope. Back in for a 10 punch, until Macho rakes the eyes. Inverted atomic drop from Savage follows, and a running elbow does too, for a 2 count. Tito gives Savage a kneebreaker, but on the FIGURE-FOUR attempt, Macho tosses Tito out. Savage goes to the top and down to the floor with BOMBS AWAY, then rams Tito into the guardrail. Savage gives Tito a clothesline for 2, and after a scoop slam, Savage goes up top. FLYING ELBOW misses though, and Tito gives Savage a kneelift. A backdrop follows, and so does a FIGURE-FOUR attempt, but Savage rakes the eyes to prevent that. Savage bails out and feigns injury, which suckers Tito in closer, only to be rammed into the guardrail. In and Tito gives Savage the FLYING JALAPENO, but no cover. That isn't his special move. The FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK is, and when going for that, Savage pulls the official into Tito so that he'll be DQ'd, at 9:29.
Match Analysis: I reviewed this because the clipped version was on the Savage and Liz Coliseum Video, so, yeah, that explains everything. These two had better, though. ***1/4.
___________________
Gorilla Monsoon is with the Haiti Kid, seeing as he has a match next. He's not happy that Roddy Piper cut his hair, not at all. All because he's a friend of Mr. T.
Howard Finkel runs down the entire lineup for WrestleMania 2...yes, this is long. And I watched all of it.
___________________
Haiti Kid vs. Dana Carpenter is next...I absolutely do not review midget matches. I don't watch them, either.
___________________
The Dream Team (WWF Tag Champs) and Johnny V are taking on The British Bulldogs and Captain Lou Albano, in the last match on the card.
- Weird, isn't it. Half this match is good. The other...not so much. Figure out which is which. This referee has been in other matches (the one who sees the un-intended tags)...he's probably the worst I've seen.
- Brawl, Dynamite rolls up Beefcake (who wasn't legal) for the victory at 13:11. **1/4.
___________________
That finishes the show. Good show, best was the IC Title Match, and the worst was Jim vs. Bundy.
Now, to HOUSTON, for the show that took place on my birthday, 12/10/1987. It's kinda weird to be watching a show that took place on the exact day that I was born.
___________________
Sam Houston vs. Dusty Wolfe is the first matchup.
- What is this entrance. Houston has terrible music, and a terrible dance. Geez. After checking, the dub is better than the original. Bruce Pritchard, Mike McGuirk and Pete Doherty are on commentary. The less said about those three, the better.
- Houston's wearing a speedo...who the fuck knows why. Big mistake in the corner (by that I mean bungled finish), but Houston gives Wolfe a bulldog anyway for the victory at 8:38. I don't like Houston, and yes, this sucked. *.
___________________
Our next contest is Hercules vs. the Junkyard Dog.
- JYD is done, physically. So this should suck too. Of course wrestling is fake, but these two take it to the point where my dad starts laughing at how bad it looks. MY DAD.
- This is so rotten, I'll just save words and bring us to the end. Hercules pins JYD with his feet on the ropes after a punch for the win at 8:15. Ew. DUD.
___________________
Brady Boone and Billy Jack Haynes are taking on Demolition w/Mr. Fuji.
- Boone is a sub for Ken Patera. Thank goodness. Really glad to see Demolition here. This match has no problem holding my interest, obviously. Not a whole lot to say, though. Smash hotshots Boone for the victory at 10:32. **.
___________________
Rick Rude vs. Paul Orndorff is on, now.
- Funny how some of the men in the crowd take pictures of Rude when Rude does his whole robe routine. Bunch of homos.
- This match was better than you'd figure, until Rude went to the NERVEHOLD. I'm talking ***1/2 type good. Anyway, the match slowed down too much, and Rude pinned Orndorff while using the ropes as leverage at 9:00. **1/2 for a good match.
___________________
Next up is Brutus Beefcake vs. the ONE MAN GANG w/Slick.
- No, not Brutus. Please no. The commentary is so damn funny. Bad, but funny. To be completely honest, this match is just a whole bunch of punching. The fans like it, but I do not. Slick distracts Beefcake, Gang gives him a big elbowdrop, and pins Beefcake at 9:19. 1/4* for what I thought was a pile of junk. After the match, Gang tries to cut Beefcake's hair. He can't, though.
___________________
The Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force is our WWF Tag Team Title match.
- Doesn't this sound like a match that would be on Coliseum Video? Does to me. You know, the Foundation lost the titles to these two, explaining this match much better than I can. Match was unformula for a while, then we revert to formula, which is great anyway.
- Martel tags in, and you know how you can tell when the workers hold the crowd in the palm of their hands? This is one of those times. During the BOSTON CRAB, Neidhart clocks Martel with one of the tag belts for the DQ, at 16:20. Aw, man. ***1/2. One of those matches you need to watch, although without 24/7, you'd never be able to watch it. There's a few of those.
___________________
The ULTIMATE WARRIOR is facing Iron Mike Sharpe in a singles bout...
- Yeah, larfs all around for this one. Warrior's facepaint was coming off after 30 seconds. You see, those are the things I notice. And when writing one of these short things, I want to write about things like that.
- 5:31 is just too long a match for these two. Gorilla press gives Warrior the victory. 1/2*.
___________________
Ron Bass takes on Ricky Steamboat...interesting.
- Unfortunately, the match really isn't that interesting. Or entertaining. Steamboat wins after a crossbody at 9:35. *1/2, my favorite rating.
___________________
I don't really know why this match is here, but Greg Valentine is facing Ken Johnson.
- Like I said, this is weird. For some reason, Valentine looks funny. Maybe it's his tan. It's a squash, obviously. Valentine's FIGURE-FOUR gets the submission at 3:03.
___________________
The last match on the card is a good one, that being Ted DiBiase w/Virgil and Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.
- DiBiase is billed as being from Bel Air, California. Good decision. This is a great matchup for any show, much less a house show. Hogan really wants to fight Andre, but Andre doesn't want to get in the ring. But he DOES get involved, by tripping Hogan. Ooooo.
- The match gets stopped, because Andre has to leave. After the announcement, the match restarts. HULKIN' UP TIME BROTHER, but after the big boot, Virgil gets on the apron. DiBiase hits Virgil on accident, and Hogan rolls up DiBiase for the victory at 9:30 That was a somewhat unformula Hogan finish. **1/2. Hogan poses to end the show, as you'd figure.
___________________
Show was good by my standards, especially for a regular house show. Best match was definitely the Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force, and the worst was Hercules vs. JYD.
___________________
I'm not going to review the MSG show from 1977. For one, when I watch shows that old, my attention span is such that I can't watch all of it at once. Second, I don't think many of you care about that anyway, and for this one in particular, nothing sticks out as a WOW, I MUST WATCH THIS type thing.
___________________
I'll post an Armaggedon review around this time next week, I bet. My dad's sisters are coming for a few days, and I have to keep up two facades. One, that I don't like wrestling. Two, that I'm not on the computer as much as I really am. I haven't seen one of my dad's sisters in shit, at least 15 years. So I've got a lot of talking to do.
8 a.m.
• Well, I'll be getting ready to leave the state in a few hours, which brings me to something I've been meaning to say for a few days. You may have noticed that in the last few months I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. Well, there's a reason for that.
I've been really busy at work and many times the last thing I want to do when I get home is get in front of another computer.
And the sad thing is, there's really not much to complain about. I could gripe about my contractor and how they're putting more and more work on my boss's plate (and in turn, me) that wasn't in the agreed contract, but the great thing about all this is that my new boss has been supportive of me 110 percent. It's a TOTAL night/day switch from the shithole I used to work at. Hell, last week she said that she was going to bring on another person (part-time to start) to help us out. And what did she do? She started interviewing people yesterday! Now some of you may find this "normal," but I came from a place that took two months to find a replacement for me (and from the stories I've been hearing it sounds like my idiot ex-boss picked a real winner, but that's another story for another time). I came from a place that put stuffing envelopes over job duties I was originally hired to perform. I came from a place that wouldn't reimburse our sales manager for ANYTHING he did out on the road. (But my ex-idiot boss would spend thousands on trips to national conventions that did squat for our organization. Shit, there's another story sorta-related to this subject that I could mention, but time forbids it.) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I came from a pretty shitty place.
• Hello.
I remember when I was that age I stood on a bench during lunchtime and made a "Tarzan" yell. Why? Because I was a kid. I was whisked away and had to put my head down on my desk during post-lunch recess. I had no intentions of killing anyone. Actually, the reason I did this was for attention. A little less than a year later I was at a classmate's birthday party when this girl named Tonya called my name from across the table. After she got my attention, she then did a mock of that yell/chest thumping and gave me that look that a grade-schooler gives when they want to bang you (Or whatever they think of when they're that age; hell, now they probably do imagine taking it doggy-style while leaning against the Tinker Toy can. Oh who am I kidding? They don't play with Tinker Toys anymore.)
6:30 p.m.
• So later this week I'll be going to Buffalo on a business trip. It's sad when you're going to a city that people from Shittsburgh can goof on. Actually, I'm not sure about Buffalo -- I do know that people in my neck of the woods do think they're above Cleveland. And then there's Detroit.
• Speaking of Detroit.
I wonder what Mr. Loc's "regular" fee is.
• I might watch this on DVD some day. I liked "Rounders," and this has Kevin Spacey.
But what I really wanted to see in this article is how that commie "Stop-Loss" flick fared.
Raw/Smackdown/ECW Battle Royal
Winner gets shot at Chavo Guerrero for the ECW title
Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Deuce, Domino, Tommy Dreamer, Jim Duggan, Festus, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Kane, Brian Kendrick, Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Shannon Moore, Trevor Murdoch, Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo, Cody Rhodes, Snitsky, Stevie Richards, Val Venis and Jimmy Wang Yang.
Unfortunately, my prediction will be tainted here due to a Matt Hardy rumor that I read about. It really makes sense as I don't see too many of these guys getting a shot. If the winner is indeed somebody from the above list, I will go with Kane. Kane is a guy whom they do relegate to low status from time to time but as I said above, I just don't see too many guys getting the shot. There is one other possibility in my mind -- this may sound ridiculous -- and it's Tommy Dreamer. I know, I know. But they have done this thing on ECW where they take an "ECW Original" and treat him like a superhero for one show. I can see them doing this here. Whichever way they decide to go, I see Chavo losing the belt tonight.
Finlay vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Belfast Brawl
JBL has put on good hardcore matches before. Finlay has done the same and being the ring general that he is, he can surely pull a halfway decent (if not better) match out of JBL. Of course, I see Finlay going over with interference of some kind from Hornswoggle.
Umaga vs. Batista
Smackdown vs. Raw
The key here is to keep the match short, fast and intense. Aside from this page from the George Lucas book of directing, they need to follow the crowd's reactions. Honestly, there may not be any, which will mean that they need to end it early. Obviously, Batista will go over here. He lost at Wrestlemania last year and Umaga is the designated jobber in matches like this one.
Floyd "Money" Mayweather vs. The Big Show
Everyone thinks that Mayweather is going to win. I just don't see it happening. If Show doesn't win, it will end without a decision. I am more interested in how they will work the match. I can't see Mayweather mounting any kind of legitimate offense. It's going to wind up looking like Rey taking on Nash or Show.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho vs. Carlito vs. Montel Vontavious Porter vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison
Money in the Bank
I am somewhat surprised by Carlito's inclusion here. It's not unwelcome, just surprising. I see two guys as possible winners: CM Punk and MVP. If the other Matt Hardy rumor that I heard is true, he may be the winner. But from the above particpants, it'll be Punk or MVP. Here's why: Punk will cash in at One Night Stand if he wins and a MITB win will perfectly fit MVP's repertoire.
If Matt does return tonight to win MITB, he cashes in tonight, as well.
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
If Flair loses the match, he must retire from wrestling
I will also buck common wisdom here and say that Flair goes over. He will then cut a promo and say that he is retiring anwyays, by his own decision. HBK, a onetime retiree himself doesn't need the rub. All we need here is an emotional, epic match. HBK can deliver the goods.
The Undertaker vs. Edge
World Heavyweight Championship
This, for me, is like taking a test and getting eight seemingly correct "C" answers in a row. In some ways, I don't see UT ending his streak this year but in other ways I don't see him going over another top Smackdown star in a championship match for the second year in a row. I say Edge wins via outside interference of some kind.
Triple H vs. John Cena vs. Rando Orton
Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship
I hate triple threats. One of the many reasons is the increased difficulty in picking a winner. I think Triple H goes over. He's long overdue for a Wrestlemania win. Now that he's a face, he can do it. Cena has won too many times at Wrestlemania, so I think he's out, but his merchandising power may give him the win. Orton retaining just isn't going to happen.
