10 p.m.
• Well, I knew it was going to happen someday. Remember this from 2+ years ago?
Well guess who's going to see a Pirates game tomorrow because his one out-of-state friend and her husband are visiting and want to see a game PNC Park? Yep. Well, it's the Cubs so the Bucs will probably get pounded 10-0. Oh well, at least I got $5 off each ticket because of some Comcast deal.
I know, I know, LOL France. Well, they've given us some great horror movies in the past, and as of late, they are kicking our ass in the quality horror department ("Inside" is the best horror movie to come out this year.) Here's part 1, which takes a look at older French Horror Moves. Part 2 (Recent Ones) is tomorrow.
-Un Chien Andalou (1929)-Silent Surrealist movie. Ever heard of/seen that weird black and white silent movie that opens with an eyeball slit open by a straight razor? This is that movie.
-Diabolique (1955)-Awesome, Hitchcock like tale of suspense about two women who kill a cruel headmaster. But is he really dead? Excellent all around, and one of the best foreign horror movies ever made.
-Eyes Without a Face (1960)-The best French Horror movie ever made IMO, this movie is about a Surgeon who kidnaps women and removes their faces (complete with surgical gore!) to help restore his daughter's face. A tragic, dreamlike movie, with one of the creepiest (and simplist) masks in horror history. Fun fact: Michael Meyer's mask was inspired by the one here. Oh, and yes, Les Yeux Sans Visage does translate to the movie's title.
-Rape of the Vampire (1967)-Old Jean Rollin movie (not the first one mentioned here) is really two erotic horror tales in one, involving three girls who may be vampires.
-The Tenant (1976)-Roman Polanski's other horror tale (the others include "Repulsion", "The Fearless Vampire Killers", and "Rosemary's Baby"), this movie about a Tenant slowly loosing his mind is a classic piece of paranoia that everybody should see.
-The Grapes of Death (1978)-Jean Rollin's unique take on the zombie movie deals with pesticide in the vineyards creating zombie like killers. Atmospheric but never slow, it should make zombie fans happy. What won't make zombie fans happy is Rollins' other zombie movie, the awful in every way Zombie Lake (1981).
-Living Dead Girl (1982)-Rollin's third zombie movie is better this time around, with enough blood and sex (including a gratuitous lesbian scene) to make Explotation fans happy. Not as good as Grapes of Death though.
Over the years the TSM community has been an interesting bunch. While many of us bicker and type things to each other that we definitely probably perhaps wouldn’t say in a face-to-face encounter, enough time has passed as this place that we share memorable life experiences with each other. Births, weddings, passings. And even though TSM will never be mistaken for a bona fide support group, there are enough people at this place that will provide words of congratulations, encouragement and condolences at the right time. Then there are also enough of us to throw in an *unzips pants*, which although juvenile is also necessary. If not, how else would I be at 15,000+ posts?
How it all started
It was late one night and I was too awake to go to bed but I was too tired to actually do anything of importance. So I did what I normally do in this situation. I went on the Internet. I don’t remember what thread/blog I was reading at the time, but I do recall it involving some half-assed countdown of something or other. It was at that time I decided to do my own countdown. A countdown that has never been done before. But of what?
Well of my top 103 posters. For some reason, this thought jumped in my head and stayed there for just enough time for me to randomly type a number of posters that popped in and out of my memory. After a while I stopped typing names and realized I had an odd number of names. And of course EVERY list needs a safe, divisible amount, right? Wrong, hippie.
Well, exactly two years(?!) and 102 posters later, the moment of truth has come. Who is ranked #1? Rather than list the name at the start of this post, I will wait until the end. Click on the links if you want, but treat them as spoiler tags.
But first, let's see who has already been accounted for.
Number 103: Sideburnious
I think one reason I'm having some trouble coming up with a "favorite Sideburnious moment" is because he’s “TSM Invisible Poster.”
Number 102: T®ITEC
I still don't know how to type that hippie ® though -- thank God for "copy and paste."
Number 101: EricMM
I shouldn’t be too negative on Eric because I think he’s just a product of his environment (pun intended).
Number 100: Anorak
For some time we constantly name-called each other in a number of threads, but then something strange happened: we actually started to get along better.
Number 99: Jessie Ewiak
When he wasn’t explaining to members of the Conservative Brigade why the polls favored Kerry over Bush in ’04, he was wanking to one of the few elections Democrats did manage win that year.
Number 98: MD2020
Nothing really special to say about MD2020; he seemed like a nice enough chap when he was here.
Number 97: Reservior Kitty
The next poster on my list is really the cat’s meow – oh fuck you all, I’ve said worse.
Number 96: Chave
He has nice teeth, and for someone who lives across the Pond from me, that says a lot.
Number 95: Kotz
I’ve known him at TSM for years, and I’m still unsure if we get along or not.
Number 94: FrigidSoul
We teamed up and good times were had by all, especially when goofing on some kid's mom and her unsuccessful bout with cancer. You can’t brush aside moments like this just because someone went and deleted a message board.
Number 93: Smues
He makes fun of Barry Bonds and ESPN, along with Mikey Moore. You can't win me over any more than goofing on those three subjects.
Number 92: Swift Terror
When he got promoted to the management level I was at we got to know each other better during some projects our groups worked together on. Well, the people working under us worked; I spent most of my day posting at TSM, which eventually pulled in my co-worker, too.
Number 91: Paul Stanley
If he's been laid off already for making too much money, here's hoping he finds something that pays him more and has him working less.
Number 90: Masked Man of Mystery
He’s a Professional Otaku, and no list is complete without one of those.
Number 89: Olympic Slam
He’s more conservative than me yet lives in California.
Number 88: The Czech Republic
He’s extremely approachable on AIM and has answered every inquiry I have asked him through this medium, from explaining what exactly a “neocon” is to what parts of the Windy City and its surrounding areas support the Cubs and which areas support the White Sox.
Number 87: Latin Assasin
He may be Latino, but I'll still give him a pound, or whatever it is those black people do when greeting each other.
Number 86: JAxl Morrison
When he's not putting his sexual partner's life at risk by banging her while she still has a tampon inside of her, he's putting his own life at risk by getting it on with military wives.
Number 85: Ant 7000
He tries his hardest to answer that age-old question: "Why do black men go after fat white girls?"
Number 84: Crono T
When you're good enough to get the Best Ending, the Frog Ending, and the Secret Ending, then we'll talk. Until then, keep on digging, Watson.
Number 83: BDC
He’s the unofficial ninja of the Conservative Brigade.
Number 82: Special K
What puts him at number 82 on my list is the phenomenon that was his “Hey everybody, I finally got laid" thread.
Number 81: Agent of Oblivion
Although he considered me the worst poster of 2004, can anyone really blame him for that?
Number 80: The Franchise
I don’t think he lives in one of the better neighborhoods across the Pond.
Number 79: Treble
You can't really blame the Office Glen for crashing my threads, considering I have derailed a few of his on occasion.
Number 78: Kahran Ramsus
When he signed up in my football contest last year, I got the pleasure of interacting with him more than when he just closes threads I help queer up.
Number 77: Sass
I always found Sass, during his time as a mod, to be a voice of reason in many instances.
Number 76: Your Paragon of Virtue
He's harmless enough when talking about current events, back when I used to do that sort of thing.
Number 75: Jingus
Jingus, along with a few other people, formed another message board, which a few of us still post at.
Number 74: Buffybeast
She loves her hosses and hates black people.
Number 73: Dr. Venkman
He has a good Avatar and named after a kick-ass movie character.
Number 72: The Thread Killer
I didn’t know much about this guy until he came out of the closet.
Number 71: NY Untouchable
I need to somehow make up for breaking his heart by voting against him in the first round of this year’s Poster Tournament.
Number 71: Cena’s Writer
He didn’t mind when I moved him from the Cards to the Saints during the off-season.
Number 69: Bob Barron
Bob is one of the more recognizable posters at this place. And how can he not be, considering he's had that hat longer than the Braves have been winning Division titles.
Number 68: Agent Bond34
I do feel for him when a few years ago he got banned by some mod because that person thought Agent was a previously banned poster (Mr. Zsasz).
Number 67: Slapnuts
Slapnuts isn’t too bad a guy, even though he will forever be remembered for a certain 77 words.
Number 66: Y2Jerk
One could rest assured that during spring of ’05 there would be a Y2Jerk/MikeSC clash of the day.
Number 65: Starvenger
He’s part of my football contest and had a tough year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last season thanks to a few close losses.
Number 64: UseTheSledgehammerUh
At one point he was even banned, but I’ve never had a problem with him.
Number 63: Mr. S£im Citrus
I actually see a lot of myself in Mr. S£im. Well except for that whole "serving your country" thing. Plus I'm white. Oh, and there's that whole kid issue.
Number 62: The Scotsman
I only spoke with him once via AIM, and that was just to give him a link to a news story about some kid with Downs Syndrome being elected Homecoming King in his school.
Number 61: 2Gold
Even Kotz likes him, and it’s in a non-sexual matter, too.
Number 60: Prime Time Andrew Doyle
He’s also been tempted to seek the services of a hooker right after his classes finish early, but he’s too cheap to pay the $140 for a half-hour of service.
Number 59: Fazzle
I remember seeing a picture of him surrounded by some cute chicks that were around his age. Good work.
Number 58: King PK
Goddamn do I love that Avatar.
Number 57: El Santiaco
We both agree that the best zombie is a slow-moving zombie.
Number 56: Canadian Guitarist
He works at Wal-Mart, and because he’s a self-professed hippie I can’t imagine he takes much joy in helping his employer take over the world.
Number 55: Bps21
When you have me going, “Wow. This guy is really jaded,” you know you're doing something right.
Number 54: Cobain was Murdered
He's had an interesting selection of jobs, from his stint as a rugged lumberjack to being able to go to town with a store's slurpee machine.
Number 53: Banky
I’ve grown to like Banky (or whatever he’s calling himself this week).
Number 52: The Max
He’s more than accommodating when you’re asking questions about NHL ’06.
Number 50 and 51: Darrylxlf/AndrewTS
I can never remember which one is which, and I stopped trying to remember because it's a chore enough not to forget other things in life like "first pants then your shoes."
Number 49: Mole
I generally despise the “college lifestyle” and believe most people who engage in it need to be taken out to an alley and shot.
Number 48: Hoff
I'm still sure he spent $10.39 in Eden Prairie, MN, on a hooker.
Number 47: Cuban Linx
He’s a founding member of my football contest.
Number 46: Marvin is a Lunatic
When a male virgin finally achieves penetration because it’ll only last 5-10 seconds. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience.
Number 45: Canadian Chick
Having seen Canadian Chick do wrestling moves, I’m quite certain that not only can she blend in as being one of the guys (at least on the days where she’s not ragging it) but she could also probably pummel many of us with snap suplexes, half-nelsons or whatever those things are.
Number 44: Vyce
Vyce and I have this special connection, and no it’s not because we spy on all the pre-teen girls in our neighborhoods.
Number 43: Anglesaut
I'm fairly certain that these kids knew that the fire boom-boom stick would cause boo-boos.
Number 42: Rob E. Dangerously
He threatened to extort me once because I posted something good about John Kerry a long time ago that said I might consider voting for him.
Number 41: Canadian Chris
His name is Chris, and he is from Canada.
Number 40: Alfdogg
He helped out during the most recent kkk Bowl IV season. In fact, I think he handled it better than me.
Number 39: Dames
Without Dames, we wouldn’t be here today showing fellow posters pictures that we like, bitching about the latest RAW broadcast or saying how much this place sucks.
Number 38: Stephen Joseph
I just wish I knew what he did for a living.
Number 37: AlwaysPissedOff
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pissed off, or even slightly irritated for that matter.
Number 36: Vitamin X
V-X would rather live in an America that resembles the commie commune many of his people risk their lives trying to flee.
Number 35: Damaramu
While known for his sports-folder meltdowns whenever the Oklahoma Sooners lost a football game, I’ll remember him better as that journalism student who vigorously pursued his dream of writing athlete profiles and game recaps.
Number 34: Carnival
If you don’t know what a juggalo is, just be thankful and move on.
Number 33: Hawk 34
He’s been suspected of being the previously banned poster Choken One, I really don’t care.
Number 32: Hogan Made Wrestling
He doesn’t seem to care much for blogs, which makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing on this list in the first place.
Number 31: Meatwad
When it comes to smart-ass replies, you can’t beat my Meat.
Number 30: Lovecraft
He hates freedom, to be sure. But he also hates commies, which is a bigger plus than the former is a minus.
Number 29: Spaceman Spiff
At the other place he came out defending the Supreme Communists of the United States.
Number 28: Gert T
Whenever I speak of my time in Middletown, Ohio, he actually knows what I’m talking about.
Number 27: Porter
Porter has been more than accommodating on AIM whenever I’ve had a question (or seven) about MVP Baseball 2005.
Number 26: BX
Just because I disagree with 99.999999999 percent of what someone thinks regarding politics (and I’m still waiting for that 0.000000001 percent of something we agree on) doesn't mean I have to hate him for it.
Number 25: Flyboy
I liked the little bugger, in a master-likes-his-slave sort of way.
Number 24: Teke184/cop/whoever
Teke can also find me entertaining at times … wait a second, that was tekecop.
Number 23: Bored
I wound up getting sodomized by Kotz in the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl – oh, yeah, and Kotz correctly predicted more games during Bowl Week than I did.
Number 22: Danny Dubya
The eastern part of this state is so contaminated with Democrats that if Three Mile Island would have had a full meltdown it would improve the region.
Number 21: Cartman
He did some “Survivor” deal back in ’03. We've been around that long?
Number 20: Al Keiper
He patrols with a big stick. That’s wooden. And made in Louisville. Well, maybe not Lousville – I have no idea what with globalization and all.
Number 19: The Real World’s Champion
It’s hard to go wrong with someone that starts a thread titled: “ Mikey was at my school...” followed by “No word on if the gym collapsed.....”
Number 18: Bravesfan
Years back he had some pick 'em football contest and I think it eventually drove him mad.
Number 17: Wildbomb 4:20
Wildbomb finally caught on and realized that nobody at this place is going to significantly change his or her opinions because some faceless message board poster said something smart.
Number 16: Cerebus
He moved on to do stuff in the real world, such as make babies with his hot wife, teach and do other grown-up stuff that I’m still trying to stay away from.
Number 15: Slayer
He’s got enough common sense to stay away from liberal craziness, but at the same time he shakes his head whenever his red state of Kansas acts like … well, a red state.
Number 14: King of the 909
From reading the limited entries in his blog it doesn’t appear that royalty in a state filled with illegal aliens would be all that appealing.
Number 13: NoCal Mike
He’s one of the few left-wingers that I believe would vote for Ralph Nader.
Number 12: Bigolsmitty
What separates Smitty from most of the Marxists here is that he’s actually funny with his shtick. And by funny I don’t mean C-Bacon funny.
Number 11: sfaJack
If it weren’t for saps like sfa and myself getting up for work, paying taxes and keeping this economy humming, then Pedro wouldn’t be sneaking across the southern border to pick lettuce and Mohammad wouldn’t be sneaking across the northern border to blow up a commerce center.
Number 10: Jobber of the Week
If he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks.
Number 9: Mr. Rant
Is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?"
Number 8: Ripper
For the last time, black people don't tip.
Number 7: Vern Gagne
He's the Conservative Brigade member who loads the ammo inside the tank.
Number 6: Black Lushus
Mr. Lushus is from Nebraska, has legitimate children and works a full-time job, so what little street cred he had is long gone.
Number 5: Cancer Marney
She’s my goddess, not to mention protector -- if not from Abdul flying in coach with that fuse hanging out from his shoe, then from posters from across the pond.
Number 4: MikeSC
For those of you that ventured into the Current Events folder in its heyday you will probably never look at a Michael from South Carolina the same way ever again.
Number 3: nl5xsk1
For more than THREE YEARS I’ve been involved in a shootout of insults with someone because of a split-second thought and a few keystrokes.
Number 2: Dr. Tom
Reporting for duty, General.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 1: ???????
This selection may come as a surprise to some. Hell, this poster even once uttered one of my most hated lines of: “Can’t a cop/soldier just shoot someone in the leg instead of the chest so he doesn't get killed?” However, much like Padme when, with her final breath, said of her Jedi meat puppet, “there is good in him,” that is the same case with this poster – except for the gay sex and all that.
What got this poster so highly ranked? Well, for starters, he may hate his country, but he isn’t afraid to mock those who probably vote the same way he does in general elections. Also, CE vets may remember a few years ago back on April Fool’s Day a group of us deciding to post a mile in the other side’s shoes. Whose idea was it to do this? Mine, of course. But I needed a commie counterpart to pull this off, and this poster was more than happy to oblige. Then a few years later, after Eddie Guerrero passed away and the “You’re being serious” line became an instant classic, this same poster and I decided to spread the “_______ that make you think of Eddie Guerrero” threads to other folders.
Such as video games.
And movies.
And computers.
And books.
And porn.
And porn, again.
Was this dumb? Yeah. But was it funny? Well it seemed so at the time.
And while this poster hasn’t been around as often during W.'s second term than his first, the CE antics, along with a variety of other antics, made my final selection an easy choice. Besides, even though we were at opposite spectrums a few years ago (He's actually gotten quite conservative now that he's actually earning money and paying taxes, and Republicans have pissed me off quite a bit -- wait, does that mean the closer he got to the center was offset by my further tilt to the right because these so-called "small government" bitches in my Party have been anything but? Then again, I don't think I can get much more "conservative" because I don't consider myself much of a fundie, outside of the whole killing of the unborn. OK, now I'm really getting off track.), there are two things that will always unite message board posters: John Madden and porn. Err, let me rephrase that. How about the John Madden video game franchise and the porno industry? Yeah, that sounds better -- and it doesn't give "Boom! He's on his back!" a double meaning.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…
…Dr. Tyler; Captain America
FOR AMERICA!!1++one, indeed.
I have posters on ignore, and for obvious reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Here's who and why:
Deon-Every post he makes is horrible. He annoys me in every way. In a way, he is the worst poster on TSM who has never been banned.
C-Bacon-"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff"-Frank Zappa. Think about that Bacon.
cabbageboy-I've known of his badness for a while, and just recently put him on ignore. He's a pretty bad poster, especially in the movie and WWE folders-which are known for having bad posters.
razazteca-He seems to have disappeared. Maybe I should put him off ignore.
VanHalen-Also M.I.A. Should have been named VanCherone.
Banky-Hard to enjoy the music folder without him on ignore.
The Truthiness-Put him on ignore last night. I am fully convinced he is a gimmick.
Here's people I should have on ignore, and probably will someday.
CheesalaisGood-I am absolutely certain this man is a truther.
Narcoleptic Jumper-He is a truther.
Enigma-Would make going to the WWE folder more enjoyable.
EHME-Do I really need to explain?
Marvinisalunatic-Ditto, though he's a little less annoying lately.
9:15 p.m.
• As I’ve said before, Tuesday is usually grocery shopping day for the kkk household, and that means my Jew-ness can come out in all its glory. There are many things in life you can’t control, especially when it comes to expenses. However, grocery shopping is a bona fide way to save money, especially if you are careful about what you spend. For me, it’s all about coupons and in-store sales. With few exceptions, if a product isn’t on sale and I don’t have a coupon (which gets doubled up to 99 cents), I don’t get it. Now Mrs. kkk isn’t nearly as bad as I am, but she has gotten more Jewish as the years have gone by. However, today I have reached my pinnacle.
I knew this was going to be a big coupon week. I generally look through the weekly circular on Sunday-Monday and get an idea of what’s on sale. I then go through my coupons and put the ones that feature on-sale products to the front of the line. I noticed that this week there were quite a few sale/coupon combos. (BTW: If my Sunday Tribune-Review has at least two packs of coupons, I will go out and get the Sunday Shittsburgh Post-Gazette. Yes, I’m that pathetic.) When we go to the store there are always in-store sales that weren’t advertised, so I’m also on the lookout for these deals, too. And boy were there some doozies. Some highlights:
French’s yellow and spicy brown mustard. On sale, $1 each. Two 50 cent off coupons doubled. Do the math.
Frank’s hot sauce. On sale, $1.79. One $1 off coupon.
Aleve gel caps. On sale, $2.99 for a pack of 20. Three 75 cent off coupons doubled.
Two cottage cheese/fruit combo packs. On sale, $1 each. One 55 cent off coupon doubled.
And so on.
At the end of this week’s shopping trip, I ended up saving $61.24 off a $144.15 order. But the best part of all. The self check-out machine refused to accept my order because it said, in tech jargon, that I had saved too much money, or at least that’s what the store employee who rang up my order told me.
I always find it amusing when I read stories about how people have to change their lifestyle due to the HORRID BUSH ECONOMY. Along with taking less exquisite vacations, one change I commonly read is that families now clip coupons and watch what they buy at the grocery store. Shit, I’ve been doing that since 1999 when I first started living on my own.
The Millionaire's Club arrives in a bus...while the New Blood watches them on TV. That's how we begin our show!
___________________
Our first matchup is The Artist w/Paisley vs. Chris Candido w/Sunny for the Cruiserweight Championship. Her WCW name isn't Sunny, but I call her that anyway.
Blow-by-Blow: Mark Madden calls the two managers "hot tramps." I lol'd. Artist starts the match with a shoulderblock, but Candido responds with a forward roll for 2. An Artist german suplex gets 2, so Artist takes Candido to the corner for a 10 punch. Candido breaks free, but he misses a charge to the corner and gets backdropped to the floor. Artist hits Candido on a Candido plancha attempt, but Candido comes right back and rams him into the entrance ramp which is connected to the ring, in old-school WCW fashion. Candido tries a piledriver on the entrance ramp, but Artist gives him a backdrop for a two count. In with a hurricanrana, but Candido takes him down sloppily for a two count. Artist gets tossed out of the ring, but he suplexes Candido from the inside to the outside, bringing Chris with him. Candido lowblows Artist on the inside, but The Artist gives him a powerbomb, before going up to the second rope. Candido catches him on the way down and places him on top, but he can't give him a frankensteiner. An Artist flying schoolboy gets a two count, as he gives Candido a backdrop to follow. Candido pokes Artist in the eye, before slamming him and heading up top. Artist stops any planned move, and gives him a SAMOAN DROP OFF THE 2ND ROPE. Sunny distracts so that we don't have a pinfall, so Paisley runs over and pulls Sunny down to the ground. Sunny gets up though and hits the Artist with a chair, for the three count. Uh, why did Artist kick out? The match continues, with a Candido piledriver. A flying headbutt off the top gets the three count at 7:57. Weird. The women fight, and Sunny's dress comes off. Yay!
Match Analysis: Sorta better than I expected, because as has been stated, I don't like Iaukea. He probably wasn't supposed to kick out at the end, but the match was still quite good. Quite! Well, a good eight minute match. Who really can complain, we're talking about WCW 2000 here. **.
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After a video for Terry Funk, we've got a hardcore handicap match, between Norman Smiley and his mystery partner, who are facing Terry Funk, for the Hardcore Title. Figured this was going to be Terry Time.
Blow-by-Blow: Norman attacks Funk as his mystery partner is hiding in the bathroom (wearing Kansas City Royals catcher's equipment), and we're underway. Norman hits Funk a whole bunch of times with a trash can, getting a two count. Funk rams Norman into Mean Gene's interview set (oh yeah, they're backstage. Thought that was a duh.), before hitting Norman's mystery partner with a chair. The partner has not yet been revealed, because they're wearing a mask in addition to a catcher's mask. Norman climbs up along with Funk onto this pile of artificial turf, but Funk kicks him off, putting Norman through a table. Funk smashes Norman into an equipment cart, then hits him with a road block sign. Ha, Road Block! Funk hits the partner, and we move towards the arena. Funk hits Norman with a laptop, and now, we see who the mystery partner is...it's RALPHUS! YES! Oh wait, his BUTT is hanging out. NO! Oh no. Everyone's laughing, as Norman hits Funk with a ladder. Norman then hits Funk with a chair, for a two count. Norman tosses the ladder at Funk, and gives him the BIG WIGGLE! Ralphus does the same as his ass is hanging out, but Funk hits the both of them with a chair. Funk wins with a rollup on Norman, at 10:03.
Match Analysis: Certainly bad, but highly entertaining. I mean, we're talkin' about Ralphus. RALPHUS! If you didn't get some sort of enjoyment out of this, I kinda feel for you. Anyway, I'll rate the match *1/2. It wasn't too bad.
___________________
After David Arquette shows up, Mean Gene interviews Arquette, and Arquette says that he arrived by himself because he's not with the Millionaire's Club.
Moving on, we've got Curt Hennig facing Shawn Stasiak.
Blow-by-Blow: Stasiak comes out to a Mr. Perfect music ripoff. He's the perfect one, you see. Stasiak starts with an armdrag and a hiptoss, but Hennig gives him a hiptoss as well, before slamming him. That causes Stasiak to bail, and when he comes back in, he applies a headlock. Hennig reverses to a wristlock, do those last 9 words again, and Stasiak gives Hennig a crossbody for 2. Stasiak sunset flips in for one, but Hennig slaps him, to gain control. Hennig gives Stasiak a kneelift, as we see that Misfits in Action are sitting at ringside. Oh joy! Stasiak rams Hennig into the announce table, cause we're brawlin'. I'm surprised this match isn't over the rights to the Perfect name. After all, we're talking about Russo here. Stasiak goes up top, and clotheslines Hennig inside of the ring for a two count. He tosses Hennig outside onto the entrance ramp, but Hennig tries a slam, before bringing him in. No slam, and Stasiak pushes him in. Stasiak gives Hennig a sleeper, and when Hennig breaks out, Stasiak pulls him to the canvas by his hair. Up top, Stasiak misses a crossbody, and now Hennig takes over. Slaps, chops, backdrops, big right hands...but Stasiak slingshots Hennig into the ring post. A Perfect-Plex gives STASIAK the pinfall victory, at 7:55. Hah.
Match Analysis: This was just dumb, I'm sorry. I really don't like that Stasiak went over, but I saw it coming. You know, that whole Russo philosophy of "putting over young guys at any time possible, fuck the old guys and make them lose all the time." I hate Russo. Oh, I nearly forgot. Match rating. *1/4. While Hennig was used up at this point, you should be able to have a semi-decent match with him. Stasiak could not.
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After Vince Russo is told by Scott Steiner not to touch him, we move forward to General Rection vs. Scott Steiner w/His Freaks for the United States Championship.
Blow-by-Blow: Steiner jaws with the fans a bit, before heading into the ring and chomping away at Hugh E. Rection. Rection gives Steiner a clothesline, then the Freaks get on the apron to distract, allowing Steiner to take over. Steiner follows with a scoop slam attempt, but Rection reverses it into an inverted atomic drop and gives Steiner an inverted atomic drop and spinning heel kick for two. After a sidewalk slam, Rection goes up top, and comes down with an elbowdrop. Back up, and the Freaks crotch him. Ouchie. Steiner gives Rection a clothesline and elbow, before grabbing the referee like a nutcase. You know, he's teasing this roid rage thing. Kinda funny. A t-bone suplex and spinning belly-to-belly suplex get a two count, before telling the referee that he sucks. Steiner whips Rection into the buckle, but he misses a charge, which causes Rection to give Steiner two avalanches. Steiner responds with a clothesline and double-underhook powerbomb, before going for a...TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER? Weird. Anyway, Rection finds his way out of the hold, and responds with an inverted piledriver of his own! To the top, but he misses the moonsault, which is now called Raging Climax. Seriously now, I mean, come the fuck on. STEINER RECLINER, and Rection taps out at 9:20. R&B Security keeps MIA from running in the ring, but that doesn't stop BOOKER T. He's in, HARLEM SIDEKICK on Steiner, which causes Big Poppa Pump to leave.
Match Analysis: I liked the run-in at the end. As far as the match, it was just okay, and really, just a long squash. I hated everything about the M.I.A angle, but this match was okay. Could've been much, much worse, and to be truthful, I'm glad that the usual Russo garbage has been sorta kept to a minimum. **.
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Mean Gene is with Kanyon, who's taking on Mike Awesome, right now!
Blow-by-Blow: A Kanyon shoulderblock doesn't do a thing, but a clothesline sure does. Kanyon misses a charge to the corner, knocking him to the outside, so Awesome flies out with a TOPE. After getting rammed into the steps, Kanyon rams Awesome into the post, and somersaults off the ring apron onto Awesome. We go back in, and after Awesome drops Kanyon throat-first on the top rope, Awesome gives him a clothesline off the top for a 2 count. Awesome hits Kanyon with a chair on the outside, a whole bunch. After ramming Kanyon into the table, he hits him with a water bottle and a chair. After they fight in the crowd, Awesome chokes Kanyon with a television cable, and sends him in the ring for a slingshot splash, which gets a two count. Kanyon tries a sunset flip in an attempt for some sort of offense, but Awesome gives him a clothesline, before tossing him to the outside. Chairshot, back in, and Kanyon crotches him on top. A Kanyon neckbreaker off the top gets two, and a regular neckbreaker does the same. Kanyon comes off the top with a crossbody, but Awesome rolls through for two. Kanyon flapjacks Awesome from fireman's carry position, but that only gets two as well. Awesome responds with a spinebuster, and then, he powerbombs Kanyon ON HIS HEAD. YO. Awesome peels the padding off the floor at ringside, and looks to powerbomb Kanyon out of the ring. Instead, he gives Kanyon a release german suplex. Awesome goes to the other side of the ring, peels off more padding, and looks to powerbomb Kanyon OFF THE RAMP. The Wolfpac music hits...it's BIG KEV! Nash beats on Awesome, which brings Kidman and a whole bunch of dudes out, leading to a no contest at 11:39. The Millionaire's Club follows, and we've got a big brawl, which they get the best of.
Match Analysis: I liked the Millionaire's Club. So, I'm glad they ran out there and kicked some ass. I think my reasons for liking the Millionaire's Club are obvious, being that I like old, washed up wrestlers. Anyway, the match was pretty fantastic, for WCW. Easy ***. You know, that Mike Awesome guy should've been a World Champion. What a great performer he was.
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After Russo argues with Elizabeth, we have The Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell.
Blow-by-Blow: Obviously the Package is Lex Luger. I didn't even need to mention that. Lex looks funny with short hair, I should add. We start with a ton of posing, then a few punches from Buff. Buff chokes away, and gives Luger a back elbow for two. After a Luger suplex, he gives Buff two inverted atomic drops, and a big right hand to put him down to the canvas. Luger tries a ten punch, but instead, he gives Buff a clothesline. He rams Buff into the guardrail, before bringing him back in, only to be dropped on the top rope. A Buff DDT gets two, and we go to the chinlock. Both men collide, and Buff gets up first, to give Luger a bodyslam and splash for two. Buff gets his nuts crunched when trying to jump on Luger's back, and we go to a clip in the back, where Elizabeth hits Russo in the back with his bat. Oh Lord. Here she is at ringside, as Luger's a house of fire. Clotheslines and a powerslam, but Buff ends it with a clothesline. Liz tries to hit Buff with the bat, but Buff hits Luger with it. After a Buff neckbreaker, he goes to the second rope, where Liz hits him with the bat. TORTURE RACK, and it's over at 9:31. Chuck Palumbo attacks Luger after the match, and after a Buff reverse DDT, Chuck puts him in the RACK. Then, Buff takes Liz away from Luger. Ha, what the fuck. It just gets worse later, believe me.
Match Analysis: This was a bad idea. Match was *1/4. Sorry, but you can't just have NU BLOOD run in and attack an established star. That shit was not going to work in WCW's, um, atmosphere.
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After Mean Gene interviews the FRANCHISE, we get that sorry sap's match, cause he's facing THE MAN, THE LEGEND, THE NATURE BOY, RIC FLAIR!
Blow-by-Blow: What's with guys not wearing their ring gear? I don't understand that shit at all, and I never will. Unless you get attacked in the back, impromptu, or something. Flair cuts a promo in the ring, and says he'll kick Shane's ECW ASS. I'll believe it when I see it. Shane gives Flair a shoulderblock, and a backdrop, before going for a ten punch at the corner. Douglas misses a charge, but he slams Flair down when Flair goes up top for a leap of faith. FIGURE-FOUR from Douglas, but Flair makes the rope. After Douglas kicks Flair in the crotch, he tries another figure-four, but Flair responds with a lowblow of his own. Flair whips Douglas into the guardrail, and rams him into the post. Good. Back in, and after a Douglas suplex, Douglas grabs a chain from his boot, and nails Flair in the head with it. Three rolling suplexes follow, but the cover only gets two. Why not cover after the chainshot? That's just dumb. After trading blows and Flair getting the best of it, Flair begins to work on the leg. You know what for. He gives Douglas a nut-kick, chopblock and kneebreaker, before applying the figure-four. Buff Bagwell is running distraction as some moron in a Sting mask is hitting Ric Flair with the bat...and Douglas gets the pinfall win at 8:45. That moron being Vince Russo. Shane hits Flair in the nuts with his chain, and when Russo and Douglas leave, Flair calls Russo out. Luger makes Russo get back in the ring, but wait a second, Russo comes down the ramp. Oh, I know what's going on. I'm not that big of a fuckin' idiot, I knew all along. I just forgot who was under the mask...it's DAVID FLAIR. Gimme a fucking break. He's beating on his father as the five minutes begin, and does so until Kevin Nash runs out and beats up the real Russo. Daffney jumps on his back, and that helps things to cool down soon after.
Match Analysis: You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me with this crap. I half-thought that Nash was going to run out and help with the attack on Flair. You have to expect that kind of dumb shit when you're dealing with the genius that is Vince Russo. Oh, and the match was shit. I thought about writing a long spiel about how Meltzer was a little bit out to lunch for rating this ***, but I decided not to. Instead, I'll talk about how much I hate this version of the Franchise. It's almost like he forgot how to wrestle when he left ECW. And now that he can't curse to his heart's content in WCW, he doesn't have any redeeming qualities. His in-ring work sucks, he has no heat, he can't talk worth a shit, and he (everyone else too, which bothers me in regards to Russo WCW) cheats all the fucking time. Just go the fuck away. Thank God he decided to become a manager at Target. I'd rather watch Tank Abbott wrestle than watch the 2000 version of Shane Douglas. I'll stick to the 1992 version, thank you very much. That guy was carryable, not a Dynamic Dude, and over. Who would've thought. I'm going to rate the match 1/2*. Such an abortion of a segment that I feel like giving the whole thing negative stars, but really, I can't. I already took off enough.
Whew, now that's over...
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Sting vs. Vampiro is on...
Blow-by-Blow: This angle is so bad, just, ugh. Sting hits Vampiro with the bat at the start as they fight on the ramp, and after a Sting suplex and inverted atomic drop, he sends Vampiro into the ring. Sting gives Vampiro a missile dropkick, which knocks him out for a Sting dive off the top turnbuckle. Sting gives Vampiro a DDT on the floor, before bringing him in, only to be given a lowblow. Vampiro comes off the top with a clothesline, before grabbing a LEAD PIPE and hitting Sting with it. After a kneedrop, he goes back to the pipe, and does a facebuster on the entrance ramp. After a Vampiro spin kick, he clotheslines Sting into the ring. Sting replies with a lowblow, and powerbombs him off the top rope. Lead pipe, STINGER SPLASH...and two SCORPION DEATHDROPS, is what picks up the pinfall victory at 6:50. After the match, Sting hits Vampiro with the lead pipe...guess this feud is over. HA, or not.
Match Analysis: *1/2. Not good, not bad. But there's really nothing about this to talk about.
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Mike Tenay is with DDP and David Arquette, going over their gameplan for later. After we see Nash looking for Russo, Tenay interviews Billy Kidman and Eric Bischoff.
Hulk Hogan w/Horace Hogan (during the entrance) is facing Billy Kidman w/Torrie Wilson, and Eric Bischoff is the special guest referee. And this is a hardcore match.
Blow-by-Blow: Hogan's wearing the F.U.N.B vest. Lolz. Hogan chases Kidman around the ring and tries a bodyslam when they get back in, but Kidman creadles him for a two count. When Kidman tries a sunset flip, Hogan picks him up, choke tosses him, and clotheslines him to the floor. Hogan brings Kidman in and press slams him onto a folding chair, but misses a charge at the corner. After a Kidman hurricanrana (which I was surprised to see Hogan take quite well), he follows it up with a dropkick. Back tot he outside, where Hogan tosses Kidman into the guardrail. A Kidman forearm puts Hogan down, but Hogan comes back with a clothesline, before taking off the weightlifting belt. Hits Kidman in the back a whole bunch, and after Bischoff takes it away, Kidman grabs it and goes to town on Hogan. Hogan hiptosses Kidman to the floor after a reversal sequence, but when he brings Kidman back in, Bischoff won't count the fall. Bischoff also won't count the fall after a Hogan back suplex, so Hogan misses a few elbowdrops. Now Kidman should get control. BUT, after a few Kidman punches, guess who Hulks up? Big boot, but Bischoff blocks the legdrop. So Hogan punches him. After Hogan drops the leg, Bischoff grabs a chair, which Hogan takes. Hogan hits both Bischoff and Kidman with the chair, and goes out to get a table. Kidman hits Hogan all over with a chair, but the cover only gets two. Hogan's bleeding, but he still boots the chair into Kidman's face. Hogan POWERBOMBS Bischoff through the table, before going to get another one. After it's set up, Kidman hits Hogan with a chair, before heading up top. He goes for a splash...but slams through the table on the way down. Horace goes over and makes Bischoff count the pinfall, which takes place at 13:36.
Match Analysis: Quite enjoyable! I liked how things weren't formula for a Hogan match, at all. Did I just throw Russo a bone? Yeah, I kinda did. Good job for all involved. I'll rate it **3/4.
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Vince Russo leaves, but first, he gives Elizabeth back to Luger. See what I'm talking about, that doesn't make any fuckin' sense whatsoever. He went through all that trouble to get her back, and just handed her to the person she was taken from. Man oh man.
After a video and interview with Jeff Jarrett, we have Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Arquette in a Triple Cage Match for the WCW Heavyweight Championship.
Blow-by-Blow: The top cage is full of guitars, the second cage from the top is filled with PLUNDAH, and in the first cage, you have to climb a ladder to get to the second one. The belt hangs from the ceiling. Was that a good explanation? Arquette and DDP have a plan that Arquette's supposed to hang around on the side. Jarrett chases Arquette around the ring to start, but DDP rams Jarrett into the cage. Jarrett gives Page a DDT and chases Arquette again, but DDP gives Jarrett a clothesline to end it. In the ring, DDP gives Jarrett a uranage. Arquette tries to splash Jarrett from the top, but he misses. I was really surprised to see Arquette do that. After DDP rams Jarrett into the cage, Jarrett dropkicks the ladder into DDP. That's smart. DDP tries to ram Jarrett's nuts into the ringpost, but Jarrett turns the tables and rams DDP's face into said post. Page sets the ladder up as Jarrett's bleeding, so DDP takes Jarrett out for a few more shots into the cage. Jarrett back suplexes DDP off the ladder as both try to escape, and after DDP's able to push Jarrett from the ladder onto the entrance ramp, DDP makes it to Cage #2!
Page cut the lock to exit the second cage, but Jarrett arrived and kept him from leaving. Jarrett hits Page with a chair, and tries to go to the third level. He can't. Jarrett breaks a tray over Page's head, but Page responds by hitting him with a trash can. Both knock over one of the walls in Cage #2, leaving an open walkway to the outside. They could've both fell into the crowd, there. Page slams Jarrett through a table, and oh yeah, both guys are bleeding now. Arquette runs up to the third level, apparently to guard the title from intereference or a Jarrett victory. Mike Awesome shows up and attacks Page, but Page gives him a DIAMOND CUTTER.
Jarrett and Page finally make it into guitar heaven, otherwise known as Cage #3. Both of them miss multiple guitar shots, leaving Arquette the only one with a guitar. So both make their climb toward the top and the belt. Page is almost there, but Arquette waffles Page with the guitar, allowing Jarrett to grab the title and become two time WCW Champion. Awesome gets up now, to attack Page, but Kanyon makes the save. So Awesome throws him off the second cage to the ramp below, in the same arena where Owen Hart died, after a big fall. Stay classy, WCW. Don't ever change. End of the show.
Match Analysis: Anyone who didn't see that coming when watching the show live should slap themselves. Both things. I was pleasantly surprised in regards to the match. I thought it was pretty damn good. My favorite part was the frequent missed guitar shots in Cage #3. In such a small space, it's pretty damn hard to miss that many guitar shots. I'd kinda like if WWE were to one day revive this match. It's fun! We'll go with ***1/4 as the rating. I don't feel like getting all hissy about the swerve and Kanyon's fall to the floor.
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Rating: The show was bad, there's just no way around it. It doesn't even matter that there were a few good decisions, some of the booking just boggled my mind. Too many swerves.
Best Segment: I liked Awesome vs. Kanyon, myself. While there was a better match on this show, I preferred this, given that there were no SWERVES.
Worst Segment: David Flair hitting Ric Flair. Good God.
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Judgment Day 2004 review should be up sometime soon.
Who didn't see this ruling coming?
----------------------
Then there's this couple that got themselves banned from cruising for the rest of their lives.
I know that there are times when you just have a bad experience with the service industry. It happens, and sometimes it's not even the fault of your waiter (or whomever did you wrong).
But if you've taken six cruises (all with the same company), filed numerous complaints during five of them (yet continue to sail with the same company), been compensated for your "inconvenience" (by that same company), and STILL complain about what a horrible experience you've had (with the same company), I don't blame them at all for banning you. Find another cruise line or STFU already...
----------------------
Back later with more...
4:30 p.m.
• So my ex-workplace had its May quarterly board meeting, and I found out from the people I still keep in touch with over there something interesting. It is now taking six people to do my job.
One person to actually step in to my job title.
My idiot boss who is showing the above person how to operate Quark, something she said she was proficient in during her interview. My one ex-coworker told me that when she started she asked why you had to make a box for everything. (Quark users will get the joke.) Oh, and she doesn't know how do do any of the other office software she insisted she knew.
Two people to do data-entry/editing work.
One person to do special projects.
One person to work on the web site. I should point out that the only thing which has been updated in the past four months is a link on the front page taken down that directed someone to the site’s latest updates. Seeing there hasn’t been an update since January 18, I find it odd that they would remove this.
I could be greedy and add another person to stuff envelopes, but I’m sure that could be delegated to the three people doing data entry/editing/special projects. Oh, and did I mention this person gets almost one-third more money starting out than what I did? (Hell, she makes more now than I did after 4+ years.) I’m not going to hate on her for that – in fact, I say good job. When it comes to money, you’re only paid as much as you can get. Actually, the one thing about my old job I didn’t really bitch about was the pay. I figure if I wanted more I’d go somewhere else. What did piss me off though was the extra job duties heaved onto me without any additional compensation. When you start a job and your extra responsibilities start becoming more important than the reason you were hired in the first place, then you’ve got problems.
But like I said above, good job on my recent replacement. After all, she was able to get money out of the same place that would constantly try to Jew me out of work I put down on my time card, sometimes as little as 15 minutes.
She was able to get money out of the same place that wouldn’t pay a part-time assistant more than $8/hour after downsizing the previous full-time assistant job, which was more than $12/hour plus benefits. (I am now told by my deep throat that getting a full-time assistant for my replacement is of the “utmost importance.” Actually, it’s been of the “utmost importance” for over a month.)
She was able to get money out of the same place that had everyone CARPOOL to this most recent meeting. This is the same place that has its staff stuff envelopes rather than invest in an envelope-stuffing machine.
But the best part of this meeting? I found out from my deep throat how much she makes, so I got a few people to ask about the new hire’s salary at the meeting. What did my idiot bosses do? They said they “can’t recall” how much she makes. This coming from the same place that … well, you get the idea. Actually, in our most recent company publication, my one idiot ex-boss was bragging about how office expenses were down by THREE ONE-HUNDREDTHS OF A PERCENTAGE POINT while the annual cost of something-or-other went up by 4.3 percent. Of course, in the next paragraph, he mentions that due to an “unusually high” death-ratio-index, the company had to dip into its surplus for the last fiscal year. Yeah, “unusually high.” Too bad all our clients are old and getting older. That “unusually high” is going to turn into “normal” soon enough. But hey, we saved THREE ONE-HUNDREDTHS OF A PERCENTAGE POINT because we wouldn’t pay a part-time assistant more than $8/hour and spent more than 4 months replacing an office worker who died. The more and more I’m away from this place, the more and more I’m enjoying watching its decay from within.
8:30 p.m.
• Uh oh. I bet he's a Bush man.
• Sixteen years later and this song still gives me chills. Damn good stuff. And not one "shizzle" or "bling" reference (or whatever the hell is being used now).
If you stuck around at the 1:50 mark, you would have heard the following line:
Now who used that line as the key sample for his song?
Yep.
• Speaking of Shaq Daddy raps. And how long did they take to remake this track -- 3 minutes?
4 p.m.
• So today the better half and I went to the bank to open up a savings account. After Mrs. kkk’s credit cards got paid off, I said we were going to have an initial rainy day fund that would eventually be turned into a savings account. This would happen once we got to a specific figure in our checking account. Well this past month we met that figure, so it was time to move that money to a savings account. This of course meant it was time to go to the bank and watch the bank person react in surprise when they find out how much money we have in our account. This happened when I first moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 and opened up an account. This also happened earlier this year when I went to get a debit card for my account. And just to show that I wasn’t crazy about the surprised facial contortions, I asked the better half to watch for such a reaction. The best part came when the banker asked, “Well do you know what account you would like to open?” After I said what account would work best for us, she spent a few minutes looking at her notes and said, “That’s right. You have enough to get into the higher-tier interest rate!” Pft. Like it matters. Now the plan is to keep the checking account at the amount we predetermined and any extra money left over in that account at the end of the month will be spent paying off my school loan. I figure that should take a few months, and then it will be onto the next task at hand.
• I just realized that the postage rate went up yet again. I knew it was going to increase, but I wasn’t sure when. It must be nice to run an industry where you don’t have to worry about your competition setting prices lower than yours. But I digress. I discovered a reason to keep pennies – to get 1-cent stamps. Earlier this year at Sam’s Club trip we got a 100-roll of stamps. How many stamps do we have left? 68. How many 1-cent stamps did I get today? 68. How many pennies did I use? 68. Unrolled. Hey, if they want to raise postage rates by a penny, then they should expect a similar brand of currency. Actually, it wasn’t that tense a transaction. Here’s what I hate most about the post office. No matter who’s in front of me in line, it takes 5-10 minutes (at least) to complete their order. When I step up, it takes a minute – two tops. Then again, I don’t stand there and carefully pick out the design of stamps I want to purchase. Goddamn I hate old people.
9:30 p.m.
• You know, it's not the actual story that caught my eye.
A 4-3 opinion over a hot-button topic whose final decision favors the liberal side of the debate. Odd how there's no mention of a "splintered" or "divided" court decision, although we learn that this court is REPUBLICAN-DOMINATED (whatever the hell that means in California).
Yet a while back I posted this story, also published by the Associated Press...
Wait a second, I was about to do a "how come one case is divided and the other case is splintered," but then I decided to actually, you know, LOOK UP the word in question.
Fudgesicles. Damn you liberal media.
10 p.m.
• So earlier this week I was at Target picking up the better half’s birth control pills when the lady in front of me asked around as to when the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out. Since nobody else knew, I decided to end the awkward silence by saying “May 22.” She then got as giddy as this chick at the grocery store…
…but I digress.
After she picked up her prescription and paid for that and her Indiana Jones DVD set, I shook my head, which prompted the one pharmacist to ask, “What’s wrong?” The following conversation took place. You’ll figure out who is who.
“No self-respecting Indiana Jones fan will look forward to this.”
“Why? I heard it was going to be good.”
“No, it won’t.”
“I have some friends who are in film school and they said the special effects and action will be great.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Why do you think that?”
“They should have stopped with ‘The Last Crusade.’”
“Why?”
“Because it was the perfect ending. Indiana riding off with his father, Sallah and Brody into the sunset. Connery won’t be in this one. Neither will Sallah. And Brody’s dead. Everything in that last scene in ‘The Last Crusade’ has just been wiped away.”
“So you’re not going to see it in the theater.”
“No, but I’ll probably get it on DVD.”
“Why?”
“Because, whether I like it or not, it’s INDIANA JONES.”
*Sigh* I feel the same way about the Star Wars prequels.
Wow, I point out my inability to understand the English language and show how much of a sucker I am with movie franchises just as old as me – all in one entry. I need to inject myself with some manliness. That last line isn’t helping my case much, either...
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (without using naughty words)
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (thug lyricz)
You know, for a song that has the line:
I find it funny that the following is also included in this track…
…
Wait a second:
Uhhh, that’s not the correct line, Lyrics Freak.
What the hell?
Lyrics Depot
MP3 Lyrics
STL Lyrics
E Lyrics,
Complete Album Lyrics
Lyrics on Demand
Lyrics Time
Thank you Metro Lyrics. Finally, someone gets the line right.
No, I'm not repeating an entry I made last year. In that post I was remarking on the "Give strong blows to the heads of my foes," line, not the "dick in ya ass" line. With this entry, I'm also pointing out that I may not know what "splintered" means, but I can remember a song's line about anal sex from 16 years ago.
...
God what the hell is wrong with me?
Hmm, interesting take on the YouTube comment section:
That's actually a valid point. Maybe Sadat was a late bloomer.
9 p.m.
• Well gee, who could have thought people would find this offensive?
Video.
How dare he compare a presidential candidate to a monkey. Why that's unheard of. That's outrageous. That's...
That's....
That's...
That's...
That's...
That's....
That's....
That's....
That's....
That's....
That's ... Uhhhh? Oh, yeah...
As usual, Nitro is first. This particular edition takes place on July 28th, as WWE decided to skip a week. Takes place in Charleston, West Virginia.
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To start, we've got Vicious and Delicious w/Vincent vs. Ric Flair and Curt Hennig. Sounds good.
- Hennig's a free agent, you see. If that makes sense. Anyhow, this matchup sounds pretty good. After about four or five minutes we go to a commercial.
- And we're back, with Buff working over Flair. Syxx pulls Flair to the floor, exposing Flair's BUTT. You know, Flair loves that. HENNIG-PLEX on Buff, gets the win at 9:09 (heh)(shown). *1/2.
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Mean Gene is now with the Total Package, who comes to the ring and tears off his shirt. Wow, what a man. He's ready for Road Wild, but we've got something else first. There's a clause in Hogan's contract that says he has to defend the WCW Title every thirty days (hah, Hogan hasn't defended that thing on television in MONTHS. And he don't work house shows.). The 30th day, well, that's next Monday. In Detroit. Nitro is on Monday. Luger's going to face Hogan for the strap. Luger then cuts a fantastic promo on Hogan, before leaving. I'm not kidding, the promo was fantastic.
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The second matchup is Prince Iaukea vs. The Ultimate Dragon for the TV Title.
- I'm so damn sick of Iaukea. Dragon got that title by beating Steven Regal on the Nitro last week, which was skipped. There's a few empty seats visible on camera that are bothering me. I don't know why, they just are. Sloppy, sloppy match. DRAGON SLEEPER gives (guess who) the submission victory at 4:47. *1/4.
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Mean Gene is with Ric Flair, who says that Hennig is one of the four. That brings him out, to express that he's a free agent. Mongo and Benoit come out, Mongo talks for a bit, and then a tag match where Mongo and Benoit face two jobbers gets cut out.
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Alex Wright is facing Chris Jericho for the Cruiserweight Title...
- Jericho slaps Wright, and we begin. A "faggot" chant rings out, obviously directed at Wright. Well I'll be damned, this taking place in West Virginia and all. Wright gives Jericho a back elbow, then a german suplex, to WIN the Cruiserweight belt at 6:26. OMG NEW CHAMP. Not really surprised about it, the guy was getting a big push. A big for WCW push, if you will.
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Gene is now with Dean Malenko, and suddenly, Jeff Jarrett decides to join him. Jarrett wants Malenko to join up with he and Debra. Malenko reluctantly agrees. Something seems a bit off with that whole thing. Maybe because Dean doesn't talk.
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Hour #2, and we begin with Syxx taking on Diamond Dallas Page.
- Sounds pretty good to me. After a broncobuster, we get a lot of the usual NWO shenanigans. But for one thing. After Vincent runs out, he gets punched in the mouth, so nothing happens there. Syxx tries the BUZZKILLER, but Page rams him into the corner, and gives him a DIAMOND CUTTER. Then Curt Hennig runs through the crowd, hits Page with an international object, which allows Syxx to pick up the pinfall at 3:33. **. No wonder they showed a clip of Hennig hitting Nick Bockwinkel with brass knuckles and winning the AWA Title prior to this show. Makes sense now.
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Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko is up next.
- Glad to see this, but the crowd is really, you know, not. Jarrett and Debra make their way to the ring, which doesn't have anything to do with the actual match. After Dean makes Hector submit to the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF at 4:33 (*1/2), Chavo Guerrero comes out, to check on his uncle. Malenko stomps on Chavo, before leaving. Hmm....
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Konnan is with Mean Gene, and Konnan's got a lot to say. He talks about Rey being a bitch (not in those words), saying things like Rey ain't for the raza and shit like that. He's going to take down all the luchadors, starting tonight, with La Parka.
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On the Road in Detroit, and then, we've got THE GIANT facing The Great Muta.
- Talk about strange matchups. Anyway, Savage is in the crowd, talking about his match with Giant at Road Wild. That card is really, really stacked. Giant and Savage do a little promo battle thing, before the bell rings, to begin the match. Now wait, we've got more stuff. Eric Bischoff comes out, and kicks Tenay and Heenan out of the commentary area. But Tony can stay.
- Muta gets caught in a chokehold, and tries to mist Giant. But it gets blocked. CHOKESLAM, pinfall at 5:59. 1/2* for a super slow match. Giant grabbed a microphone, but Larry Zbyszko (I'm going to call him Larry Z from now on) comes out, infuriated that Bischoff has sent his broadcast partners away. So he's going to take Bischoff to the ring, the hard way. Big time Larry chant, as he puts Bisch in the ring for Giant to CHOKESLAM. YES! Crowd loved it.
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Konnan vs. LA PARKA...
- La Parka's mask may fall off! Well, it nearly did. La Parka grabbed a chair which had Konnan's name on it (hah), but Konnan kicked the chair into his face. TEQUILA SUNRISE, submission win for the newest NWO member at 1:45. Here comes Psychosis, to keep Konnan from beating up La Parka. He didn't do anything, just stood there. *.
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We're on the phone with JJ Dillon, who confirms that Hogan will face Luger next week. Good. They also want Sting back in the ring by September. Drawing it out...
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The main event is Randy Savage w/Elizabeth vs. Scott Steiner w/Rick Steiner.
- This would've been some match back in, say, 1992. Or even in 1993, when both were in the WWF. The match is quite strange. We've got Savage acting like a lunatic, trying to brawl into the crowd and stuff like that. Sorta jumbled. After the commercial
- Things go back to normal. Steiner gives Savage many suplexes, and then, Liz decides to distract the referee, as the Outsiders come to the ring and attack Rick Steiner. Now Scott attacks the Outsiders, and everyone brawls, at 8:46 (shown). **. Two flying elbows are given to Scott, which brings the GIANT out. The NWO bails out of the ring, and Giant grabs a microphone. He wants Nash RIGHT NOW. Nash said that he doesn't feel like fighting through security, but they part the Red Sea, allowing Nash to go back to the ring. He wraps his belt around his fist and is about to jump into the ring, but WE'RE OUT OF TIME! Them cutting away during the middle of a hot angle is beginning to bother me.
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The show was good. Liked the angles. Nice to see a title change, and it was nice to see some big(ish) matchups. Best segment was Luger's promo on Hogan, and the worst was Iaukea vs. Dragon. These shows are really making me want to watch Road Wild, so they're definitely doing what they're supposed to.
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RAW is from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Good location for a hard sell show. We flashback to last week, and for once, I'll run down the goings-on. There was a six-man flag match, featuring STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD, Dude Love, and the Undertaker, who were facing Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith, and Owen Hart. The Hart Foundation won. Not only that, but Shawn Michaels was announced as being the special referee for the main event at SummerSlam.
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We begin the show, with the Hart Foundation making their way to the ring. Bret's not going to be suspended for attacking Vince McMahon last week, because they want their big main event to go off without a hitch. Makin' the fans happy, if you weel. Apparently we're going to have a new commissioner next week...as is said during Bret's typical anti-America promo. He's really mad at Shawn Michaels, because he insulted Bret's country. You don't badmouth Canada. He challenges the Patriot to a match later, and that's it!
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After running down tonights card, we move to Savio Vega and Miguel Perez w/the rest of Los Boricuas vs. the Legion of Doom.
- Not really a whole lot to say. How about, both of these teams are not my favorite when it comes to rating tag teams of 1997. LOD tries the DOOMSDAY DEVICE on Miguel, but the Boricuas run in, getting their guys DQ'd at 3:01. The Godwinns run down, and help the Boricuas beat up LOD. No surprise. *.
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HHH and Chyna speak about Mankind, and the steel cage match between Mankind and HHH at SummerSlam. Vader's in need of Jenny Craig, too. Guess what? Our next match is Vader vs. HHH!
- Mankind appears from under the ring, in a cameraman's outfit. He hits HHH with a television camera, so we've got no match. Chyna tackles Mankind, and beats him up for a bit, before Mankind can fight them both off. They fight into the crowd, and yeah.
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The Truth Commission's leader comments on a few things...then we see that Michael Moorer's at ringside. He beat up on Evander Holyfield. I don't really like him.
After a Brakus promo (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA).....
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We go to our next match, Jesse Jammes, Bob Holly, and Flash Funk vs. The Truth Commission w/Commandant.
- Commandant (their leader) is an actor, so he won't get involved in the matches. Had to get that out there. Kurrgan is a funny guy. Oh wait, I mean the INTERROGATOR. Gorilla Monsoon was down for a bit to talk about the commissioner spot, as Kurrgan finished Holly with a sideslam for the victory at 3:22. 1/2*.
- I feel like ignoring the SummerSlam million dollar contest stuff, so I will.
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After a video about the Patriot, he cuts a promo in which he accepts Bret Hart's challenge.
Now, we've got Faarooq w/the Nation (including Ahmed Johnson) taking on Crush w/Disciples of Apocalypse.
- Punch, kick, choke affair. Basically everything I hate. Gang fight tears this shit apart at 3:14. 1/4*. Los Boricuas come down,. and powerbomb Crush on the ramp. Ouch.
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Now to the Warzone, and we've got a big tag team match. The Godwinns are facing Steve Austin and Dude Love for the WWF Tag Team Titles.
- Owen and Bulldog are sitting at ringside for commentary, btw. They trash their opponents, and Bulldog challenges Ken Shamrock to an armwrestling match for later on.
- Austin makes the hot tag, house of fire. Stun one, not the other, get tossed out of the ring. Owen hits Austin with the Intercontinental Title, which gets Austin counted out at 4:40. *1/2. Now everyone decides to beat up the champions. LOD comes down to the ring, to chase the Godwinns away, and Hawk gives Dude Love a high five, as Austin's telling the viewers at home that Owen's going to get his ass whipped at SummerSlam.
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Ace Darling vs. Devon Storm is our Light Heavyweight contest...
- Storm wins with a forward roll off a Darling hurricanrana at 45 seconds. 1/2*.
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Here we go, the armwrestling contest with Bulldog and Shamrock. Very typical, face comeback and then Bulldog headbutts him. Bulldog then hits Shamrock with a chair a whole bunch, before opening a can of dog food and smearing it all over Shamrock's face. Ugh.
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Goldust w/Marlena is going to face Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man.
- Goldust has a mic, and says that Brian Pillman will definitely be wearing a dress come next Monday. I agree!
- I can't wait for Rockabilly to become a New Age Outlaw. At least he'll be entertaining. Billy slaps Michael Moorer, so Moorer knocks him out. HA! Pillman attacks Goldust for the DQ at 1:15, DUD. Marlena jumps on Pillman's back, which eventually gets him to leave. Good. Pillman tells the crowd to fuck off, and we're done there.
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We see a video hyping our SummerSlam main event, which features comments from multiple people. After that, Vince brings Shawn Michaels to the ring. Bret wants him to apologize for insulting his country, but Michaels absolutely will not. What he will do, is commentate this next match.
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Our main event is Bret Hart vs. The Patriot.
- Bret's really mad about Shawn not apologizing. So, as a result, we'll get to hear Oh Canada! Once that's over, Kurt Angle The Patriot comes to the ring, and wants the Star Spangled Banner played. Good on him! But, Bret attacks him in the middle of it. I saw that one coming. Now the crowd's on fire.
- The show ran long, but there's a commercial. Like, really long. The Patriot wears the mask to embody the spirit of our country or something like that. Yeah, something. Shawn keeps Bret from making the cover, so as Bret's yelling at Shawn, Patriot rolls Bret up for three at 6:38 (shown). Talk about a surprise, **. Is Shawn really an unbiased official? The commentators sold that action of Shawn's like, "uh, what." Bret and Shawn argue, until the Undertaker comes out. So the show is over.
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Show was good, but still not better than Nitro. Bischoff being chokeslammed by the Giant is what put Nitro over the top. Best segment here was Patriot getting the surprise win over Shawn, and the worst was the Truth Commission garbage.
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I'm going to review Slamboree 2000 next. Usually I don't review the PYBO's before the regularly posted show, but I can't resist. WCW 2000 BABY!
11:59 p.m.
• As an avid rap listener back in the 1980s and '90s, I remember hearing a number of edited songs on the radio and on albums. While many of these "kid friendly" versions were awful with the non-thug words and gaping pauses, one of my favorite edits came in one of my favorites songs of the early 1990s…
…and my jimmy runs deep … so deep … so deep put her BUTT to sleep...
Speaking of this time, I was listening to Comcast’s Old School Rap music channel. It’s not a permanent channel, but it pops up often enough. However, today they played “Nothing but a G Thing” and “Rump Shaker.” Old School? Fuck. Old school is Doug E. Fresh and the Treacherous Three. Oh well, I’m sure someone in his 40s would disagree with that. C’est la vie.
• From my 5/7 post:
Actually, the better half used to not be a vengeful bitch. That is until meeting me. Now she is almost as bad as me, although she still has way more tact than me. However, in this instance, I have to say she won’t need to torpedo the operation because her boss will have no trouble doing that shortly after she leaves. We’re still trying to figure out the best way to exit. Because we don’t have a crystal ball, she’s looking now for a new job. However, if we knew that she would be gainfully employed September 1 at a new workplace, I would want her to stay until her final day of work on August 31. This way she can suck up as much money from this grant as possible and make her boss feel more uncomfortable than she already feels. Then again, the sooner she leaves, the greater the train wreck will be. Oddly enough, when I knew my time at my former place of employment was going to be limited, I actually worked harder. The reason? Whenever I would leave, the quality of work I did would be magnified, and believe me I was right. Not only is the work downright embarrassing, but also it’s taking FOUR people (not including the person who replaced me) to do what I did by myself. And the work is also getting out almost a month later than it should be. Sometimes it’s best to not do a thing to torpedo your ex-employers; many of them can do that without your assistance.
• Speaking of SFAJack and his possible 15 minutes of fame, back when the Clinton/Lewinsky was unearthed I was part of one of those “man on the street” interviews. I was headed to my job at the theater and I noticed this reporter and photographer trying to get people to give their opinion of the story. I figured I’d help them out – besides, my one journalism class had a project where I needed to interview a reporter so I figured I’d do a quid pro quo. I gave him a nice quote and he gave me an easy way to accomplish an annoying class project a few weeks later. My quote? It went something like, “It’s too early to say anything one way or the other, but I think he should resign for other reasons.”
So I was interviewed by one of the Houston Chronicle's sportswriters yesterday for a story they're doing about sports and the economy. On Wednesday, on his blog, he asked for reader feedback on the topic; specifically, has the DAMN BUSH ECONOMY affected your decisions to attending sports events, be they high school, college, or professional.
My dad and I have had season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys the past four seasons. Other than most of the shitty preseason games, we've not missed a single game during that time. This season, we are not renewing our tickets. Our decision has nothing to do with the massive playoff disappointment of last year or ever-rising ticket prices ($130 a game this last year vs. $78 back in '04, our first year). Rather, with gas likely to be at or near $4 a gallon by the time the season starts and a decent hotel room now costing between $85-90 (as opposed to $60 back in '04), making 8-10 500-mile round trips to Dallas just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. We've been priced out. Neither of us are very happy about it (and will probably kick ourselves if the 'Boys end up hosting the NFC Championship Game or something), but other than lay out a couple thousand dollars in travel costs (in addition to the tickets), we don't have much choice.
Anyway, since the topic struck a nerve with me, I sent an e-mail to this guy briefly describing our dilemma and decision; he wrote back and asked if he could call me to do a formal interview on Thursday. I said sure and our game of phone tag finally ended last night around 6:00. During our chat, he said he's heard from several folks like me so there's no guarantee that he'll use our story, but I thought it was kind of cool to be part of it.
sfaJill wasn't quite as impressed, but strangley had no comment when I asked if she'd prefer I have my name in the paper because it's in either the obituaries or the police report for slapping her around a while...
8:30 p.m.
• I wonder what it would be like to be the target of a GLOBAL man-hunt?
That's when you know you done fucked up. Then again, I'm sure I could sleep at night knowing the Frenchies are after me.
• Idiot.
It's not like the poor gas station owner is reaping the profits. You know, what the hell is going to happen when there's a real fuel shortage or when rationing is forced upon us? Maybe having a Democrat in office, along with a Democrat congress, won't be so bad. After all, Medium-Large Media would then tell us what a bargain $4/gallon gas really is.
• I've been meaning to talk about this gem of a story for a few days now. Here's the latest.
God bless the K-9 unit. Too bad the dog did more for society than that two-bit piece of shit who shot it. The sad thing about all this? When I first heard this story on the drive in to work earlier this week, I joked to the better half that the cops shot the dog on purpose so they could then kill another young black man. Why am I not surprised by what happened next?
And here's the real payoff...
Do I even need to answer this one? Here's some more about the framed innocent.
God, Democrats must be glad to have these peons in their back pocket, even if a sliver of them bother to vote. And thank Christ for that.
7 p.m.
• Well today was a bit of a shocker. We found out that Mrs. kkk got laid off. Actually, she’ll be out of work August 31. Why? According to her idiot boss, because the boss doesn’t like working in the academic world and will use her grant money to pay her salary and not the better half’s. All I have to say is that for as fucked up as my former place of employment has been since my departure, this has the makings of a classic. Why? Because without the better half there, her soon-to-be ex-boss will have to do the vast majority of work.
The same person that comes in at 11 a.m. and leaves at 2 p.m. yet bitches about being “overworked.”
The same person that once put salad dressing on a salad the night before some social function and wondered why the salad was ruined the next morning.
The same person who poured sugar instead of parmesan cheese over her pasta during dinner.
The same person who (just a few weeks ago) saw an expense sheet and didn’t know what “balance” meant.
The same person who never locks the petty cash drawer and had checks stolen that racked up thousands of dollars in theft.
The same person that fights with every department and vendor there is, even though she is wrong 99 percent of the time.
The same person.
Oh this has the makings to be a classic. Did I mention this chick has a Ph.D.? No? Well, I'm sure you figured that out by the "expense sheet" line.
As for Mrs. kkk – she’ll get another job, hopefully within the university system. The only adjustment will be that we would carpool a bit later in the morning and afternoon. The busier traffic will be a downer, but it’s nothing major – most the time I leave late from my job anyway because I get a lot of last-minute calls/etc. The odd thing is even if I was to lose this job I really wouldn’t care. If my current employer’s funding gets discontinued and I have to start looking at the classifieds again, I would actually be comfortable with doing so. I don’t hate where I work, but rather the time I spent here has shown me that not EVERY workplace situation has to be a dysfunctional affair.
Been interested in this one...I don't know, I suppose Raven vs. Stevie Richards appeals to me.
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Tony, Bobby, and Dusty are our commentators. They run down the card, and then, our first match is Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett w/Queen Debra, for the United States Championship.
Blow-by-Blow: Jarrett's a hometown guy, you know. Jarrett slams Mongo at the start and struts, prior to ramming Mongo's head into the turnbuckle pad. He then takes Mongo down from behind, and follows it up with a chopblock, Mongo style, out of the three point stance. Jarrett rams Mongo into the buckle again, but Mongo comes out of there with a clothesline, before the commercial.
We're back, and Jarrett has rammed Mongo into the steel steps, twice. Back in, and Jarrett jumps on Mongo's back, as Mongo's throat is draped along the second rope. Jarrett gives Mongo a suplex and goes to the sleeper, but Mongo breaks the hold and gives him a sleeper of his own. Debra gets on the ring apron to distract, whoa, wait a minute. It's Eddie Guerrero! He gets up on the top rope with the US Title, comes down and...hits Jeff Jarrett on accident. Mongo covers Jarrett at 5:53, and we've got a new United States Champion.
Match Analysis: Nothing special, and with Mongo, the shorter the better. I don't think he should've been given the US Belt, but he was super over. I guess they had to do something with the guy. *.
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Mean Gene is with Alex Wright, who's going to take on Ultimo Dragon for Dragon's Television Title later on. He talks in German a bit, then calls the title his.
After, Gene is with the guys from Dinner and a Movie, which airs on TBS. Seriously.
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We now move forward to Stevie Richards vs. Raven, which is also Raven's debut match in WCW.
Blow-by-Blow: Raven enters from the crowd, and takes the microphone. He wants no disqualifications in this match, and the referee says, sure. At the start, Raven rams Stevie into the buckle, before sending him outside. Raven flies out with a pescado, and after bringing Stevie back in, Stevie comes back with a backslide for one. Raven puts Stevie on the apron and knocks him to the floor, then flies off the apron with two elbowdrops. Back in, Raven's got a chair, and he drop-toe holds Stevie into it. A bulldog into the chair follows, but when Raven sets the chair up in the corner, Stevie's the one who tosses his opponent into it. A sidewalk slam is delivered to Raven for 2, so Richards prepares for the Steviekick. That doesn't happen, but he still rolls Raven up for a two count. Raven responds with a clothesline for two, gutshot, EVENFLOW DDT, for the pinfall victory at 5:03.
Match Analysis: This wasn't the best match, but it was a good way to introduce Raven. Quite convincingly, I should add. I'll give this one my favorite rating, that being *1/2. I like how this show is a progression of storylines that are currently on the Nitros that WWE 24/7 is airing.
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Alex Wright is now facing the Ultimo Dragon for the Television Title.
Blow-by-Blow: Wright gives Dragon a hiptoss to start, and a snapmare too, but Dragon applies a wristlock. Wright reverses into a hammerlock, but Dragon takes him to the canvas and applies an armbar. Wright pokes him in the eye to break the hold, but his shoulderblock can't knock Dragon to the canvas. Dragon's shoulderblock does though, and he follows it up with a dropkick. After Dragon's multi-kick combo, he goes to the chinlock. When Wright gets up, he gives Dragon a powerbomb, and a backbreaker, for a 2 count. Another backbreaker only gets two, and so does a gutwrench suplex. Now to the
commercial. I've gotta mention, from the beginning to the commercial is some of the most fluid wrestling I've seen. Smooth.
and we're back, with Dragon tied up in a chinlock. Wright gives Dragon a clothesline, and a scoop slam, before heading up top. He comes down with a stomp on Dragon's head, then dances. Now back to the chinlock, and when Dragon breaks free, he gives Wright a sleeper. Wright reverses, so Dragon gives him a back suplex. They now trade chops, until Wright gives Dragon a European uppercut, ending that flurry. After a Wright back suplex, Dragon responds with a springboard dropkick, bringing the house down. Ok, not really. Dragon misses a pescado as Wright's on the outside, so Wright decides to stomp on him. He tries to whip Dragon into the railing, but Dragon reverses and does that to Wright instead. Dragon follows that up with an asai moonsault, and brings Wright in the hard way, with a front suplex off the top rope. Dragon tries LA MAGISTRAL, but that only gets a two count. A handspring back elbow from Dragon misses, but Wright's pin with his feet on the ropes only gets two. Damn. Wright reverses an attempt at a DRAGON SUPLEX into a rollup, which Dragon reverses for 2. Now they get up as Wright has Dragon's back, and Wright gives Dragon a GERMAN SUPLEX for the victory at 10:54. We've got a new TV Champion! And he's German!
Match Analysis: Awesome match, but the TV Title time limit and the commercial kinda killed the likelihood of going ****. Must watch. I gave it ***1/2. Commercials hurt a match, especially when it's going as well as this one was.
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Now, we've got Eddie Guerrero challenging Chris Jericho for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship.
Blow-by-Blow: Eddie Guerrero's music hasn't changed yet. Boo. To start, Jericho gives Eddie a few armdrags, and then a dropkick. Eddie tells the referee that his hair was pulled, and shows the referee exactly how it was done. Jericho gives Eddie a press slam and a flapjack, which causes Eddie to duck out of the ring. Eddie comes right back in with a sneak attack, and a big flying back elbow. Eddie gives Jericho a hilo, and a hurricanrana off the top rope for 2. Eddie then tries a hurricanrana in which he grabs Jericho's hand, leaps onto the top rope and springboards off with a rana, but Jericho catches him and powerbombs him. After a Jericho GIANT SWING(!), he gives Eddie a spinning heel kick. He botches a springboard plancha though, landing on his face outside. HA! Instead of sulking and doing nothing, Jericho runs right over and suplexes Eddie to the floor from the apron. A very good spot to replace that botch, IMO. Eddie brings Jericho in after a few punches and gives him my favorite move, a superplex, for a two count. Jericho tries a powerbomb, but can't get it...so after a reversal sequence, Jericho gives Eddie a release German suplex, which puts Eddie on his head. For real. But, the cover only gets two. Eddie gives Jericho a springboard sunset flip, which only gets two. We go into an UGLY pinfall rollup reversal sequence, and Jericho picks up the win at 6:40. After the match, Eddie dropkicks Jericho, in anger. A brainbuster and a FROG SPLASH follow, as Eddie leaves Jericho in the dust. I guess that's a good phrase to use.
Match Analysis: A disappointing effort. I mean, there were great things about it. Like the post-match beatdown. I mean, Eddie's character at that time is one of the best I've ever seen. Dead serious. Only ** for the match...if you had just watched this and none of their prior or later work, it would be hard to say, oh, they had a match that neared **** just a month later. You wouldn't believe it.
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Part #2 begins, with a big lucha libre tag match. We've got Lizmark Jr., Super Calo, Juventud Guerrera, and Hector Garza facing Psychosis, Silver King, Villano IV, and Villano V w/Sonny Onoo.
Blow-by-Blow: IV and Calo will start things off, and Calo takes IV to the canvas with an armdrag. They go into a reversal sequence, and afterward, Calo gives IV an armdrag and a flying headscissors. Calo gives Silver King a dropkick, and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to IV, which gets a two count. Garza comes right in, and misses a charge to the corner. Silver King also misses a charge to the corner, but he gives Garza a hiptoss and shoulderblock. Garza responds with an armdrag and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, before clotheslining King over the top. Juvi and Psychosis come in, and the latter of the two gives the other a superkick. Psychosis tosses him out, so Garza and IV come in. IV and Silver King monkey flip Garza and Lizmark Jr. to the outside, and here comes the crazy shit, as the heels get tossed out too. Calo flies out with a tope con hilo onto Silver King and Villano IV. Lizmark does the same, but with a regular tope...Juvi leaps off of Garza's back to the outside, landing on everyone...Villano V flies out with another tope...and Garza ends the sequence with a SICK CORKSCREW PLANCHA. Onoo grabs Calo's leg with he and Psychosis back in the ring, knocking Calo to the canvas. Psychosis comes off the top with a GUILLOTINE LEGDROP, which finishes Calo via pinfall at 4:52.
Match Analysis: Typical lucha spotfest. I like them. You know, the sequence where everyone decides to dive on one another is one of my favorites. Required viewing. **3/4, for a pretty good little match. You take what you can get.
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Mean Gene is with the guys from Dinner and a Movie, who are naming their culinary creations. Macho Mayo...Macho Nacho...NWOkra....oh, that explains it all. These cooks are NWO 4 LIFE! What in the hell did I just say. Or, rather, what in the hell is this. The cooks tear their shirts off to reveal an NWO one, which brings Randy Savage out. You see, this is the NWO's birthday party. Now we go to a commercial.
We're back, and DDP is destroying all of this cooking utensils. He gives one of those dudes a DIAMOND CUTTER, and leaves. What a tough guy.
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On the road, then Konnan and Syxx are taking on Ric Flair and Curt Hennig.
Blow-by-Blow: Gee, who's going over here? Hennig's being recruited by the Four Horsemen, if you didn't know. Hennig spits his gum at Konnan, and we're underway. Konnan puts Hennig in a headlock, but Hennig drop-toe holds his way out of it. Konnan pulls on Hennig's hair, which allows him to bring in his partner. Hennig tags out as well, so Syxx gives Flair a shoulderblock. Syxx gives Flair a backdrop, but Flair comes right back with a few chops and a kneedrop for two. After a Flair backdrop, Hennig comes in and gives Syxx a kneelift, knocking Syxx over to his corner, allowing him to tag in Konnan. They both collide after a few punches, and Syxx makes the tag. Flair chops away at Konnan, who misses a dropkick. Syxx clips Flair in the knee on accident, because Hennig pushed him into Flair, inadvertently, of course. Hennig gives Konnan the HENNIG-PLEX, which picks up the pinfall victory at 5:10. After the match, Mean Gene is with Hennig, to ask him whether or not he's decided to be a Horseman. Hennig just says, no. Gene asks him what his decision is, and Hennig says, no. What an ambiguous answer.
Match Analysis: Basic, formula Nitro match. Seeing as this Clash is nothing more than a glorified Nitro, I can't say that there's anything wrong with that. *3/4.
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Here's our main event. Diamond Dallas Page and Lex Luger are facing Randy Savage and Scott Hall, who are accompanied by the entirety of the NWO. Before the match, Kevin Nash grabs a microphone, and well, he's going to allow Savage to defend his portion of the tag team titles. Now we've got a REAL main event, as this is for the WCW Tag Team Titles.
Blow-by-Blow: Only Nash was allowed to stay at ringside. How unfortunate. Hall and Page were going to start things off, but Hall wants Luger instead. So, we begin. Luger pushes Hall to the canvas and poses, pretty much as you'd figure. Hall pulls Luger to the outside for a bit, so Savage can give Luger a double axhandle when he comes back in. Savage misses an elbowdrop, so DDP tags in and hits everyone, ending his run of big hits with a clothesline. Savage comes back with a clothesline of his own, and a boot choke, before tagging in Hall. Hall gives Page a fallaway slam for a two count, before Savage tags in and rams Page into the buckle. Both work on Page in the corner, before Savage gives Page an elbowdrop for 2. Savage and Hall stomp on Page outside of the ring, which Savage follows it up with a double axhandle off the ring apron. Hall's in the ring, and applies an STF type hold. Page gives him a clothesline, and finally makes the hot tag to Luger. Luger cleans house, gives Hall an inverted atomic drop, and clotheslines both. He tosses Savage over the top, and puts Hall in THE RACK! Savage comes in, pokes Page in the eye, so Hall rams Luger into Page. You see, Page's eye was hurt, so he didn't see that it was Luger. He turns around, Luger's standing there, and he gives Luger the DIAMOND CUTTER. After a long delay, Hall pins Luger, for the three count at 9:55.
Match Analysis: I like that the Diamond Cutter was put over so huge. Well, any finisher in which the guy had to lay down for that long afterward is one that is put over huge. I wrote something about remembering something from Flair's book, but I forgot. Maybe it was about how Savage and Hall didn't get along. I don't know. Match was **.
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The NWO are staying in the ring, as Eric Bischoff is saying some stuff to the winners. If not for them, these people wouldn't be here. Maybe that's true. The lights flicker for a few moments, and look to the rafters. Hey, there's Sting. A buzzard is up there with him, as his music plays. The lights go out, then back on, and a buzzard is attached to the top rope. What's awful is that you could see the person who attached it walking away from the bird. Brutal. One of the most bizarre show endings I've seen.
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Rating: Decent. I would say the show was good for a Clash, but that ending sorta soured me on things, as did the Dinner and a Movie segment. Absolutely retarded.
Best Segment: Definitely Alex Wright's victory over Ultimo Dragon. Fantastic TV match.
Worst Segment: The Sting thing. I don't really follow.
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I don't have any reviews to do for a while. That's good! Ok, not really. It just means I'll do something else with my time.
8 p.m.
• So the better half and I were driving back from grocery shopping night, and we went past the one thrift store that we always go past. What was on this store's sign? "Clearance." A sale at the thrift store? What, will that pair of jeans now be 50 cents instead of $1?
Actually, we donated some stuff a few weeks back when we decided to attempt to clear out our house of unwanted junk (oddly enough, Mrs. kkk is still living under my roof). This brings up a story I've been meaning to tell for more than a week. Here we go:
I don’t think I’ve mentioned my mom that much. There’s a reason. I’m not that close to her. I don’t hate her, but when you grow up as a latch-key kid you don’t tend to take the whole “family” thing that seriously. I’m not bitching about this, mind you, because I actually like keeping my family at a distance. However, here is a brief rundown of how the old lady lost her mind.
1995: Got laid off from her job because she was there too long and made too much money.
For a few years after that she worked several similar jobs and got canned due to downsizing and all that. But wait, wasn’t this during the GREATEST ECONOMY IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE? Yeah, and I was working two jobs for shit pay at Sappy Valley. But I digress. After my grandma on my mom’s side died ol’ mother decided to go to Jesus school. And for years she pestered the Jesus school administrators who didn’t want her because she was too old. Whatever. In the process she ran out of money for thinking she could weekly drive to Columbus, Ohio, and back to her Shittsburgh townhouse. Did I mention that she had virtually no income coming in at this point? Well she sold her house and kept all her shit in storage. And by shit I mean boxes upon boxes of LPs and books that were 40+ years old. In 2003 I took this crap from storage and put it into the duplex we were residing in at that point. When we found out Mrs. kkk was preggers in December I told mom it was time to get this shit out of our house. And by shit I mean more than 15 of those big ass bins. We agreed she had until June 1 to cart her shit out.
Not this past Friday but the Friday before was when she came over to take the first half of this stuff back to Ohio. But wait, she didn’t realize that these books/LPs were in these LARGE bins. Uhhhh, they’ve been in these containers since I bought these bins in ’03 when I went to take her shit from storage and realize that the boxes she was using were rotted. She then gets her “deer in headlights” look because she doesn’t know what to do. Jesus Christ, didn’t she think ANY of this through? I said to cart the bins that were smaller, and I would move some of my stuff that was in smaller bins and use those as well. I then added that I can go to Wal-Mart and get more bins for Trip 2. She then freaks out again and says, “I don’t have the money for that.” My response, “I didn’t say ‘you’ would get the bins.” Good gravy, and she said to me earlier this evening that she was going to rent a truck to cart all this stuff out. Oh, yeah. And she couldn’t lift ANY of these bins. When I asked her how she was going to unload this stuff, she replied that she was going to DRIVE AROUND WITH THIS STUFF IN HER CAR UNTIL SHE COULD GET SOMEONE FROM OHIO TO UNLOAD THE CONTENTS. And you were bitching about gas prices? Do you have any idea how much fuel you would have burned doing this? And what if you rented that truck? I’m now the rational one. My God is that frightening. Well now I’m getting bored so I’ll wrap this up. While putting the shit in her car I realized that if I joined her on this trip I could get rid of ALL this shit in ONE trip. I went to Wal-Mart and got a dozen more bins and finished moving all her shit from the big bins to the smaller ones. At 1 a.m. I was done. Four hours later I was up getting ready to get the hell out. Twelve hours later I was back home and free of all this shit. Of course I have yet to put away all the emptied bins so the basement still looks cluttered. However, it’s MY clutter.
Should I have offered to help her in the first place? Probably. But I’m an awful son. Then again, I pretty much knew I’d be doing this all along. Whatever. At least I don’t have to see her again before June.
And for those that get the title to today's entry. Good job. For those that don't, peep this:
Even though it's a live show, if you have ever listened to RIGHT-WING RADIO you might recognize this song as the theme song to a certain talker heard on hundreds upon hundreds of stations (if you still don't know, just read the comments to this video; you'll figure it out). If you want the studio version of this song, peep the two queermos below.
And while I'm on this subject, I always wondered about the reaction to Rush using this song on his show.
So, I decided that I was going to do a "running diary" of Raw last night. It didn't go as well as I liked. For one thing, I didn't think to keep track of the times as I was writing my notes, so I can't say what time it was when a certain something happened. For a second thing, I have the attention span of a retarded monkey, and thus can't stay focused long enough to, y'know, do a running diary. So here's what I came up with:
Show opens with Vince McMahon, so I'm presuming it's about 9:00 or shortly thereafter. I chuckled that he got the "jobber entrance" of no music, but presumed that his decade-old "No Chance in Hell" theme might not fit what he's there to babble about. And I'll have to be honest, I missed a lot of what he said, as I was very distracted by the guys that were close to a mic that kept trying to start the "asshole" chant, even though at the time Vinny Mac wasn't acting heelish. But from what I pieced together, he thinks that what Regal did was a-ok.
And remember the "second thing" that I referenced in my opening paragraph? Well, I got bored and flipped around for a while, so I missed Regal's theme & walk to the ring, and then part of his speech. But I came back for the end, and saw some footage of what he did last week, and then saw Kennedy's introduction.
And for the second time, noted that the mic'ing seemed off, as his introductory "KENNEDY!" seemed kind of quiet, at least compared to the fan's reaction and, well, everything else that was being mic'ed at the time. Kennedy left me largely unimpressed on the mic. His dialog wasn't bad (kudos to the writers) but his delivery just seemed off. Weird cadence, weird pausing. Just weird. I've read how awesome he allegedly is on the stick, but for the few times that I've heard him, 'meh' is as high as I'll go.
And then HHH came in. You know, I really like HHH's theme music, but otherwise don't see much about him that interests me. As ghey as it sounds, his 'look' is just weird. His aesthetics peaked during his "blueblood" gimmick, and then has fallen off the charts since. And since I presume(d) that he picks his own t-shirt designs, I have to laugh at how New Hampshire PWT he really is. Remember that whole "second thing" that's been referenced twice now? Third time's the charm. I missed most of what he said while thinking about his theme song & his wardrobe and whanot. I caught the 'punishment' part at the end, now, where it'll be a two on <whole roster> handicap match. Oh, that sounds riveting ... can't wait for 11:00 for that! Sadly, the announcement of the main event is what made me question my decision to do a running diary. I mean, watching this until 11:05 or whatever, when the main event is a "heel GM puts together a horrible mismatch"? Thanks, but no thanks ... I'll see how long I can last, though.
The show then proceeded onto the divas match. I have to admit that Mickie James looked the hottest that she's ever looked, IMHO. Still finished third behind Michelle McCool & Kelly Kelly, though. Which is weird, because (1) I'm normally not a big fan of the 'generic blonde' appearance so having MM & KK as my top two is odd, and (2) normally Maria is pretty much my favorite "diva" to leer at. She had that horrible New Jersey Shore Whore look in full effect, though, so she didn't do much for me last night. (Is that for a gimmick/angle, or is that what she chose to wore?!?) The match itself was so sloppy I couldn't look away. The hilarious do-si-do that they did when they fucked up an attempted back-slide was great; haven't these two been in the ring together a bunch of times? And the end sequence? Melina should have just announced, "wrestling's fake" as she stood there and DIDN'T hit MJ in the back of the head. I don't know if I'm supposed to give star ratings or something, so will give the segment *** for aesthetics, * for actual wrestling, and **** for "it's so bad it's good" entertainment value. Plus, partial thong shots always get a star from niskie.
Ok, my notes get kind of scattered here. Jericho came out to chit-chat with Regal, and then was put in a match with Michaels against the new M&M. I don't know why or anything, though. And all I wondered was "why put a guy from Toronto, that'll likely get cheered, in a tag with Michaels, who's probably still hated in Canada?" Sadly, though, I missed the actual match so I have no idea if they got along or if the fans did the boo/cheer thing or if they won the match or anything.
I saw that someone - who I found out this morning was Paul Birchill - had a match that seemed to be a boy/girl v. boy handicap match, but I had the TV on mute because I was on the phone, so don't know why or anything. Still, I was entertained by the match, and thus I'm going with ***.
I flipped around again for a while (My Name is Earl was on TBS, and a "girls prison" movie with Kristen Bell was on Lifetime ... she showered with another girl!) so I might have missed a segment or two, but when I went back, it was CM Punk v Randy Orton. Now, the first thing I though about was "people will bitch that they wasted this match on free TV instead of PPV" but I haven't really checked to see if that's true or if I was being overly cynical. Regardless, I found myself passively interested in the match until Regal came out to shut out the lights. So, at the end of it, I guess Punk is 'over' enough that his match getitng cut short will add to the heel heat. Or something. **-and-a-half stars.
And, sadly, that was the end of my Running Raw Diary experiment, as I flipped away and never went back. I actually forgot I was doing a raw diary until I saw my notebook on the coffee table, and by then was beyond apathetic about finishing it. Maybe it's for the best, this blog entry is already longer than it had any right to be ... imagine if I'd made it through the full 2 hours?
9:30 p.m.
• Oddly enough, I agree with the pointy-headed academics on this one.
Hey, I'm all about less taxes, but this will do NOTHING. And if we don't have any federal gas taxes, then that will hold back road construction projects -- you know, the ones with 20 guys standing around watching some other pot-bellied man in a hard had moving a digger around. Then we'll hear about how all of our roads are crumbling. In a roundabout way, it's sort of the way I feel about this recent tax rebate thing. If letting people keep more of their money is a good thing, then why does it have to be a one-time special event?
• Gag me now. Funny, because this is the first election I'll be a part of where I feel uninspired.
What?
Yeah, that's a great reason to elect someone. Oh well, it worked for Strom.
For anyone who thinks that college professors are not liberally biased, I present this evidence to the contrary:
Am I surprised? No. Do I really care about this? No. There is liberal bias in the press every day; what does it matter if there are liberal professors in college classrooms, right?
Speaking from personal experience though, I graduated from a Texas college and I don't recall a great deal of liberal bias in any of my classes. Then again, I was an accounting major and wasn't required to take very many courses that could be politcally slanted. Although the prof of my graduate-level international management course had a crazy, almost personal obsession with Augusto Pinochet.
The most political prof I ever ran across was in, strangely enough, political science. That guy made it clear from day one that he was liberal and never made any bones about touting such views. You'd think that could make lots of folks unhappy, but, surprisingly, the women in the class were the ones most appalled by him. The most entertaining day of the entire semester was when he pissed them all off by saying that women should lose their right to vote because we elected great guys like Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln before they could vote and guys like Nixon, Reagan, and Bush 41 since they got the right to vote. Highest of high comedy that day...
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So where has "Notes From Cubicle 211-A" been the past two and a half months? Busy. Thanks to our company reorg, I've been reassigned to our Project Accounting division and my new duties have left me with precious little time for TSM, the no-longer-green board (WTF happened there??), and porno. It's a real bummer. Hopefully though, all this real world shit has finally eased up and I can get back to my normal daily routine of pretending to work.
Ah, wedded bliss:
We did some furniture shopping over the weekend. sfaJill's been having some trouble sleeping and has decided that it's my fault because my tendency to toss and turn several times during the night disrupts her. And of course, to her, the obvious, not-expensive-at-all solution is to buy a new, king sized bed. After most of Saturday shopping, we found exactly one that we she liked. The price for the just the king bed though is $2,200 so it's back to the drawing board.
Also while we were out, we stopped into JC Penney so I could pick up some new slacks for the office. While sfaJill was waiting outside the dressing room for me, this little boy (who couldn't have been more than 2) who was waiting nearby with his mother, started talking to her. sfaJill loves kids so of course she was eating this up. So when I come out to model the new slacks for sfaJill, the little boy moves behind me and is now standing between me and the dressing room door. I turn to walk back in, and this exchange happens:
Boy's Mom: "Jared, please come here and get out of his way."
Me: "Oh, he's fine. I've got a dog at home that is always in the way, too."
I didn't think much of it. In the truck a bit later though, sfaJill, who had been sitting in silence most of the way, suddenly said, "You know, you really embarrassed me back there."
"What are you talking about?"
"With that little boy. You compared him to a dog right in front of his mom."
"What? You're embarrased by THAT? It was a harmless comment."
"You called him a dog in front of his mom. I don't think she liked that."
"Did she say anything about it?"
"No."
"Then how do you know it offended her?"
"Well, it embarrassed ME, so I would think it bothered her, too."
"Oh. Um...I'm sorry? I guess my 'filter' broke again."
"You should really get that thing fixed or replaced or something."
I thought about sarcastically asking her to put it on the honey-do list, but decided it was best not to risk pissing her off and ruining the rest of the furniture shopping fun.
