• So it’s official. My boss hates me. Why? Because for an upcoming business trip later this month she booked our flights. Guess where our connecting flight from Shittsburgh will be located?
Newark, New Jersey.
Guess where the connecting flight back home to Shittsburgh will be located?
I don’t think I’ll be leaving either plane.
• The better half’s test-tube kid-having welfare collecting cousin and her sterile Mexican husband 30 years her senior (Or is it junior? Either way, the guy’s about twice her age.) sent her one of those stupid chain e-mails where you answer a bunch of general questions. Under the question of “What’s the one thing you worry about most,” the test-tube matriarch typed, “Our house’s adjustable mortgage.”
Why am I not surprised.
Here's what I don't get.
Why bother with "other interests?" If you own a decent portion of the Steelers, that's just as good as having a winning lottery ticket.
Plot: A sorority initiation goes horribly wrong when the body of Russian Occultist Karl "Raymar" Rhamarevich returns-as do some corpses that he controls.
Review: "One Dark Night" is a movie that is so 80's, you're surprised those annoying "I Love The 80's" shows didn't tell bad jokes about it. It's got an 80's look, everyone dresses like it's the 80's, it has a fun cast (Meg Tilly! Elizabeth G. Daily! Adam West-yes, that Adam West), and a plot that could only come out of the 80's.
The movie does have it's share of flaws. Well for starters, the fact that Raymar can cause corpses to awaken, float, and do his general bidding via telekineses is original. Thing is, it ends up being floating corpse dolls/models "attacking" their victims. While it's hilarious at first, it loses it's charm the 3rd or 4th time around. Also, Raymar isn't that frightening or interesting, though the dated optical effects accompanying him are amusing.
That's not to say that it's a disaster. In fact, I ended up enjoying it some. The direction by Tom (Friday the 13th Part 6) McLoughlin is solid lively, and the dead themselves are appropriately drippy and gross. The acting is also pretty good (again, a really fun cast), and the final scare works pretty well.
"One Dark Night" is pure 80's cheese. It might not be perfect, but it's fun, and would make a great triple feature with The Dead Pit and the underrated Sole Survivor.
Rating: Either 6.5 or 7/10. A flawed but watchable piece of 80's fluff.
• So yet another de-maculating moment, I was shopping with the better half for a few suits during the Fourth of July. Mrs. kkk was going on her third interview with this one place and was paranoid that with her two professional suits someone would recognize she was already recycling outfits. (Or was it her fourth interview? Depends if you count 15-minute phone screens.) So as we browsed several department stores, we stumbled upon some sales from JC Penny’s and she found this nice suit for $75. Our jaws both dropped, but for different reasons. Guess who is who below.
“$75?! That’s a lot of money!”
“Are you kidding?! You better get this … NOW!”
Now guess who was who? My quote was the second one. Yep, me. Jew boy. Telling Mrs. kkk to spend $75 on an outfit. Why was I getting wood over this deal? Because the suit retailed for $200. After I showed her the “normal” price, she couldn’t believe how expensive work clothes were. I then realized I knew more about WOMEN’S FUCKING CLOTHING than she did. Good Christ shoot me now.
Why did I know more than her on this subject? Because my mom, before she lost her mind while in Jesus school, used to work in the corporate world and I remember seeing the price tags on some of her threads. So when the better half began pondering the cost of female business clothes we took a trip to the Macy’s store – where $300 work outfits are the norm. That brought her back to reality. And we also got her another $200 suit for $40.
• W, I voted for you twice and all but come on. Make the late-night comedy writers earn their paychecks.
• Having seen the NBA All-Time Draft participants post team summaries, I figure I might as well get off my backside and do the same.
Shaquille O’Neal – C
Nate Thurmond – PF/C
Alex English – SF
Clyde Fraizer – PG
David Bing – SG
Off the Bench
Jeff Hornacek – SG
Bill Laimbeer – PF/C
Terry Cummings – PF
Doc Rivers – PG
Doug Christie -SG
Dolph Schayes – SF/PF
Paul Arzin – SF/SG
My system? Hell, I don’t know. I’d probably focus on the front court, but depending on the matchup, I think I could compete with a guard-heavy opponent. If I need more scoring, I’ll bring in Hornacek and Cummings. If I need more defense, I’ll sub in Laimbeer, Schayes and Christie (Hornacek, too). Rivers is a solid back-up point guard. When it’s late in a game, Hornacek and Laimbeer are excellent free-throw shooters. And the last player on my bench is part of the Top 50 Players Of All Time Club.
Now there’s no way I would have assembled this team had I taken part in Cena’s draft. I’m sure I would have missed my turn a few times with the current work schedule I have. However, it’s fun to do something like this every now and then. Now the All-Time NFL Draft? Oh hell no.
Plot: Two hippies (ugh) are suspected of being behind a series of murders. Thing is, it's actually the living dead-brought back by chemical pesticides-who are responsible.
Review: After Night of the Living Dead, other filmmakers tried their hand at combining the living dead with social commentary. The first gory zombie movie from Italy to do so, "The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue" predates the likes of "Dawn of the Dead", as well as later Italian gore flicks.
While the hippie angle may turn some viewers off, the movie in itself is largely a success, mostly because it doesn't become too preachy with it's message, and remembers that it's a horror movie first and foremost. In case you were wondering, the movie have it's fare share of atmospheric and gory moments, including some creepy as hell walking dead, a wonderful sequence in the cemetery, a woman's breast being torn straight off, and more. Adding to it all is some strong acting, a nice score, and top notch directing.
"The Living Dead At Manchester Morgue" is considered one of the best European horror movies of all time, and for a good reason. Just be sure to get the new 2-disc DVD, as it's the definitive version.
Rating: 9/10 A classic zombie movie, and a must for those interested in seeing more of the sub-genre.
[Writer's Note: This post is going to be a very open post, so if you're a friend or someone who I know from the wrestling buisness (wrestler, Referee, fan, or whomever) please do not be upset if you read something you don't like. I'm just being very honest and open here about my personal life. I hope you all understand. Thank you for reading.]
In the middle of May, I had gotten pretty sick. I wasn't throwing up blood or anything, but my body was in pain, a lot of pain. It wasn't non-stop pain, but it was random shots of pain in different parts of my body that last about 4 days, but during those 4 days I was pretty worried about my well being. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, I had a lot a trouble being at work because it affected pretty much everything I did at my job, weather it was lifting title or just driving, the random shots of pain in random body parts would want to make me stop doing what I was doing and ride it out until I felt better...but I never did that.
I couldn't take a few days off of work because I needed money to pay my bills, but at the same time I couldn't afford to go to a doctor because I didn't really have the money to go, plus my job screwed up with my benefits and for whatever reason, I never got a medical card. During the 4 days that I was sick and in pain, I took some time and kinda thought of where my life was going and I realized I wasn't happy with the way my life was going.
I kinda realized that financially and personnally, I wasn't in a good place. Financially, I made 14 dollars an hour, but I was barely getting by on my bills and if something happen to the point where if I had an emerancy or if my car broken down, I didn't have anything saved up to try and take care of those things. For someone who makes 14 dollars an hour, there shouldn't be a reason why I'm having trouble paying my bills.
Personnally, I was starting to miss out on a lot of things. My very good friends were having a baby and invited me to come up to the Sacramento area to come and meet the baby for the first time, but I was so busy with shows and being on the road, I couldn't go. I felt horrible. There were other things that happen on weekends as well that I just couldn't do or go to because a weekend was swamped with a wrestling shows, or something always seemed to fall on a day I had a wrestling show. It really felt like I was revolving my life around Pro Wrestling instead of revolving pro wrestling around my life and to be honest, it was starting to bug me, but the way my financial being was, was what was really bugging me......a lot.
In March I had re-taken a warehouse job that laid me off due to cut backs in November of 2007 as a second job. The job I already had was just a temp job, so when the warehouse job called me and asked if I would come back because they had a job opening since an employee had been fired. So I took it, once the temp job ended at the end of March, the warehouse job became my only full time job, which I knew was a gamble and it became more apprent at the end of April and the beginning of May and that's when I got to wondering if I should stay with the warehouse job....then I got sick and that's when the wheels in my mind got to turning about where I was in life.
So I kinda got to thinking about things and just realized I wasn't happy with the way things were going. My job, while paid well, was either a dead end job that really gave me no experiance when it came to other jobs that I could do or it was a company that was really on the rocks due to the bad real estate market and could lay me off at a moments notice or could just close down and because I really didn't have anything saved up, I wasn't ready to be laid off again.
So I decided to do what's best for me and act like an adult and take care of what I need to and figure out what I need to do to make my personal life better. So I decided to sit down and take a real hard look and think about things and figure it all out. I decided that I needed to take advantage of my job's schdule and go back to school and learn something that could really benefit me job wise, something I could fall back on, something that I know it won't be something useless, but at the same time, I need the time and money for me to really get going, so unfortunaily, I needed to cut back on one thing I really loved doing, and that's Pro Wrestling.
While I love being in this buisness, it's a big drain of my wallet, between training to be a wrestler and the gas prices of traveling to shows, I was spending a lot of money, but that's mainly my fault for doing so many shows that I was doing on a weekly basis. Some weekends, it would only be one show, then in another weekend it would be two shows, some weekends it was even three and it just got to a point where I was spending so much on gas and milage it was starting to affect my bills.
I also put a lot of time in pro wrestling. I was training two to three days a week and/or I was doing a show or shows every weekend and I knew if I really needed to put the right amount of focus on my life and my working career, I would have to take the focus off pro wrestling and stop spending so much time doing it and start spending a lot of my time on my personal life and career.
It was a hard choice, but in a long run, I think it will just be best if I took a break and focus on what I need to. After I had gotten better from being sick, I went to my trainer Helfyre's house early before a training session and sat down and talked to him about my choice and while I knew he wasn't happy with my choice, I knew he understand. The ironic twist in this entire thing 5 days after I told Helfyre about my choice...the warehouse job laid me off again. What I wasn't ready for and what I wanted to have a plan for, blew up in my face 5 days later after I told Helfyre about my choice. If anything that was really a kick in the teeth for me.
I finished out my Referee dates with my last show being on June 21st. June 21st was really a timeframe for my 3 year being around in Pro Wrestling in Nor-Cal, and I started it training with Helfyre in WCWA, I felt it was best for me to have my last show, be at Devil Mountain Wrestling, which is his promotion and also the promotion where I had been training and learned how to Referee.
So want to know how I'm kicking off my leave from pro wrestling? Well here ya go, the end of the last match I Ref'ed.
Plot: An Indian Mystic (played by Paul Naschy) uses black magic to bring hot topless chicks back from the dead to get payback on those who wronged him. Naschy also plays the mystic's brother, and Satan himself.
Review: Paul Naschy is the king of Spanish horror-not because of quality, but because he is a Lon Chaney jr./Boris Karloff like figure in how he was known for playing everything from Werewolves, Vampires, Demons-you name it.
The first of four Spanish tales of the undead to be reviewed this month, "Vengeance Of The Zombies" is a rather confusing-though quite campy affair. The movie throws in everything but the kitchen sink-the occult, Satan, topless babes, zombies, psychedelic imagery, and a wholly inappropriate Jazzy Lounge score more suited for Bachelor than a horror movie.
The movie, as you can guess, is hard to take seriously. However, as I also already mentioned, it's also rather confusing, as the kitchen sink approach ends up making you scratch your head at times, causing you to lose interest. Also, while the movie has plenty of camp appeal, it is hurt some by the occasional over reliance of exposition. A little exposition goes a long way, but too much is just annoying.
In the end, "Vengeance Of The Zombies" offers some sleazy delights, but ends up feeling like too much of a good thing, and ends up wearing out it's welcome. A better place to begin as far as Spanish Zombie movies are concerned would be Tombs Of The Blind Dead.
Rating: 5/10 I may be a big fan of exploitation and sleaze, but even though it had plenty of the right elements, "Vengeance Of The Zombies" left me feeling unfulfilled.
• So yesterday I had to go to this wedding reception for some chick whose the daughter of some uncle-in-law that I have only seen once in my life. There goes my Saturday night. Whatever, like I was going to do anything in the first place. Here’s one thing I noticed. All the young, single people who are probably in the courting stages of their relationships were all dressed up – especially the women of the group. However, the older couples who have been together for a while were MUCH less dressy. Sadly, I fell into the latter category. I wasn’t wearing jeans, but there’s no way I’m wearing a suit and tie at the local fire hall. Oh, here’s another observation. When the bride and groom were doing their first dance, all the bridesmaids were looking intently with sobbing eyes. The groomsmen? They were just standing in the corner drinking beer and talking to each other totally not paying attention to this moment. That just about sums a lot of things regarding the difference between men and women, doesn’t it?
Thankfully, everyone was getting drunk so Mrs. kkk wanted to leave early. She said everyone was acting abnoxious. I didn't notice, but whatever.
• So Venus Williams beat her sister for another Wimbledon title. Yay and stuff. Actually, I am a fan of the Williams sisters. Well, as much as a fan as one can be by watching about an hour of women's tennis per year. And 10 minutes of this annual hour's worth was spent watching the women's title this morning.
Plot: Years ago, Dr. Gerald Swan (Jeremy Slate) discovered Dr. "Bad reference to a great director" Ramzi (Danny Gochnauer) performing horrible experiments on patients. Years later, a woman known only as Jane Doe (Cheryl Lawson, looking great in a nipple hugging baby-tee and panties) comes to the mental facility. However, Dr. Ramzi has returned from the dead-as has a horde of zombies.
Review: Released to video in 1989 (complete with an awesome VHS cover with light up eyes), "The Dead Pit" was one of the last notable independent zombie movies for a while (well, until people decided to stop using camcorders to make zombie movies, but hey), and was the first movie from Brett Leonard. It has since garnered something of a cult following, with some claiming that it's a lost classic, while others calling it one of the worst zombie movie ever made. To tell the truth, it's neither.
For one thing, the acting (with the exception of Slate and Gochnauer) ranges from over the top, to just forgettable. As hot as Lawson may be, she can't act to save her life, though she at least seems to be trying. While the movie is largely played straight, it's attempts at humor are poor at best, with Ramzi spouting dreadful one-liners that making him look like a D-Grade Freddy. Also, it takes an hour for the dead to get to business.
When the dead do rise however, the movie picks up considerably. While not the goriest zombie movie, we get some choice bits: brains are torn out and eaten with relish, brains receive acupuncture, a heart is torn out, a scalpel is shoved up a nurse's nose, and zombies melt into puddles of goo. Also, the dead can only be killed with Holy Water in this movie, which makes for an original twist. The score by Dan Wyman is a little dated, but fits the mood perfectly, and contains some genuinely unnerving moments.
"The Dead Pit" is worth a rental at least, though hardcore devotees to horror have seen better. If anything, it's a nice time waster, though for a movie that loves to show brains, it doesn't have much brains on it's own.
Brett Leonard would go on to direct The Lawnmower Man, Hideaway, Virtuosity, Man-Thing, and the underrated Feed. His latest is the new Highlander movie.
Rating: 6/10 It's like a bag of Twizzlers-not bad, but you won't remember it.
Tony and Lord Alfred are sitting at ringside for this much awaited event...
First match is the Young Stallions vs. Los Conquistadors.
- The Conquistadors constant switching in and out is always nice. But I'm not interested in the match at all. It's an okay match, I just don't care. A Roma missile dropkick leads to the pinfall victory for the Young Stallions at 14:58. **.
Judy Martin vs. Rockin' Robin is teh fast forward time. Sorry.
Mr. Perfect vs. Ronnie Garvin is the next bout.
- I've never seen Garvin so juiced up. Most everyone hit the juice real hard once they went up north, so I'm not surprised. Lots of chop trading and overselling. And chinlocks!
- GARVIN STOMP. Yeah, that's lame. Perfect reverses a Garvin crossbody from the top for the win at 14:23. *1/2. Too much chinlocking.
Leaping Lanny Poffo read us a WrestleMania V promo...he's gone heel now! Got quite a bit of heat.
The Brainbusters vs. The Rockers is up...
- Oh God, what a match this is going to be. Stereo dropkicks by the Rockers! After Arn's in for oh, about ten minutes, Tully tags in, and the Rockers give them stereo FIGURE-FOURS!
- Tony calling a match with Tully and Arn involved is TOO NWA for me. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Jannetty's been in for a really long time. Once Shawn makes the tag and the Rockers go on a roll, Shawn hits a big splash from Marty's shoulders onto Tully, but Arn pulls the referee out. So, the Brainbusters get disqualified at 22:27. What a lengthy match. Good stuff, but lacking oomph. And a finish. I believe their match at MSG that's on the Shawn DVD was better. ***1/2.
The Brooklyn Brawler is set to face The Red Rooster.
- Poor Terry Taylor. Brawler teased leaving, but, you know, he came back. Chinlocks are far too numerous in this bout, and seeing as the crowd didn't care in the first place, I don't blame the two for their use of them. Taylor wins with a backslide at 11:22. Yes, a backslide. *.
Bad News Brown vs. Hercules looks, um, strange.
- Yeah, strange. Bad News would've been a good dude to use during the Attitude Era. Bad News uses weapons, like the bell and a wooden chair. Both men fly to the outside, that's a double countout at 6:04. Bad News dumped Hercules to the outside, but the chain scared Bad News away. Throwaway match. 1/2*.
The Rougeau Brothers and Dino Bravo w/Frenchy Martin are set to face Jim Duggan and the Bushwhackers.
- All American Boys! Love that song. However, oh God, the Bushwhackers. Could've done without them. I hate these comedy matches, but this one has a lot more serious wrestling. Duggan cleans house, then hits Raymond with the 2x4, allowing Butch to pick up the pinfall victory at 11:35. 3/4*.
Big Bossman w/Slick is set to take on Hulk Hogan inside of a Steel Cage.
- Great main. Fast action early, as Slick tosses Bossman a chain. Referee opened the door to check both guys after the chainshot, and Hogan's up at 9. Hogan can't get through the door, so he suplexes Bossman instead. Hogan hits Bossman with the chain, and he's busted wide open. You could see the marks from Bossman's bladejob earlier in the day. Quite clearly! Big legdrop, up the cage, but Slick's holding on tight to Hogan's leg. Hogan kicks him away, and crotches Bossman on the top. He takes Slick's handcuffs, handcuffs Bossman to the top rope, and Hogan goes over and out for the win at 9:17. Hogan hits Bossman with the ringbell and tosses Slick into the cage. Hogan poses in the ring, and the show's over.
Their match earlier in the day at MSG was better. I remember it from an old Hulkamania video I rented at the old videostore a long time back. I could be mistaken, but I am 100% sure that match had a Hogan superplex from the top of the cage. This one was only ***. I don't know how they were able to run both MSG and Boston Garden in one day. Crazy. All the matches had the same winner, and in the case of Bad News/Hercules, the same double countout.
Rating: Good. Too much crud to wade through, but having two *** matches on a show from the 80's is a positive.
Best Segment: I love cage matches. Rockers/Busters was better, but cage matches are my favorite. So the main event. AGAIN.
Worst Segment: Bad News vs. Hercules really sucked.
ECW time next time. Living Dangerously 1999.
Okay, gotta get this one out of the way. Looks good.
Barry Windham and Mike Rotundaoaoaoaoaoaoa are introduced, prior to the Hardy Boys vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch for the World Tag Team Titles.
- Matt and Jeff are obviously very over. Duh. Legwork on Matt begins the heat period. Actually, the no heat period. Funny how I'm watching this and Murdoch was just released. I'm indifferent to that news.
- Jeff tagged in, cleaned house, but Murdoch pushed him off the top rope. Cade pins Jeff after a sky high at 8:52. **. Okay match.
King Booker and Queen Sharmell are in the back...I wasn't watching during the whole King Booker thing, but his accent is hilarious.
We see an Eddie Guerrero video to fit in with the whole Night of Champions theme, then we've got Jimmy Wang Yang challenging for Chavo Guerrero's Cruiserweight Title.
- Another video was shown during the entrances, this one being a...DEAN MALENKO video. We saw him in the back as well, then, the match begins. Yang's gimmick is shit.
- Good back and forth action. Much aerial stuff, and Chavo hipblocking Yang into the buckle was pretty noice. Seems like we're building to a good ending.
- Yang misses a moonsault, but counters a Gory Bomb as well, so he doesn't get beaten as quickly. He still loses of course, after a frog splash to the back by Chavo at 9:15. ***1/4, highly entertaining, most of all, had a clean finish and no dumbness. Yeah, no dumbness.
JR talks about the Vince McMahon blown up limo thing, and then we watch a video. Worst angle ever. Afterward, we see that there's a poll on WWE.com asking us who did it. Paul London's inclusion was LOL worthy.
Prior to CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro for the vacant ECW Title, we got to see a Tazz highlight package. Oh wait, Taz. Not Tazz.
- Not much heat, cause, you know, we're in Houston. Bad Blood 2003 didn't have the noisiest crowd either.
- No GO TO SLEEP, but a Nitro swinging neckbreaker picks up the victory at 8:02. Okay. *1/2. Drab match, not a finish with impact...something I could've done without. Both seemed disinterested.
Orton and Foley do a ridiculous fake tension bit in the back, honest to God, this is WWE at its worst. I don't buy segments like this. Nobody does. The best way to get through to the fans is have guys take chairshot after chairshot and have the wrestler delivering the chairshots lick the blood of his opponent, BJ Penn style. Or choke them out into unconsciousness while the officials stand aside because they're so terrified it'll happen to them. The pull-apart bullshit sucks, and so does trading barbs in the back. Why talk when you're standing close enough to kick the guy's ass? Makes no sense. Anyway, WWE's attempts at drama constantly keep me from becoming interested in their product. Brutal stuff.
Ricky Steamboat is introduced, prior to Umaga vs. Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Championship.
- Too many champions going out first. Santino shakes Steamboat's hand prior to the contest. Nice touch. I guess I'll see how bad Santino is in ring, given that this will be longer than the usual two minute RAW match. Oh, wait. Guess not! Umaga gets DQ'd for excessive punching at 2:35. What the fuck? DUD thanks to that finish. Umaga squashes Santino after the bell. Obviously that was going to happen.
Some dude says that Vince McMahon's "death" is under investigation...for fuck's sake.
Magnum TA's in the crowd, as we watch Ric Flair vs. MVP for the United States Championship.
- MVP and Magnum did a bit of a faceoff. Nice touch there. A few elbows from MVP opened Flair up, but even some color couldn't save this match. It's not good. MVP pokes Flair in the eye, and gives him the PLAYMAKER, for the pinfall victory at 8:41. *. Really bad, but I feel obligated to give a star for Flair. But bad, like I said.
Todd Grisham is with John Cena, who then argues with Edge. That was far better than the Orton/Foley segment. Anything's better than talking low and sounding like it's the most serious moment of your life. Which it is not.
Rick Martel(!) and Tony Garea are in the crowd, to watch Jimmy Snuka and Sgt. Slaughter face Deuce and Domino w/Cherry for the WWE Tag Team Titles.
- Heels make fun of Martel and Garea prior to the match. Always nice to see Snuka though. If Snuka comes off the top, I'll mark.
- Problem is, Snuka can't run the ropes. Poor guy. No heat, bringing me to my next point. Only do shows with legends on them in the Northeast, St. Louis, or Chicago. WrestleMania fits too. Otherwise, don't. At least Slaughter can actually work. However, Snuka goes to the top, and his son reverses the crossbody for the win at 6:30. Nice touch. 1/2*. Heels attack afterward, until Martel and Garea make the save.
Batista vs. Edge is a Last Chance World Heavyweight Title Match. Batista does not win, he does not get another shot at Edge while he's champion.
- Harley Race is in the crowd. Yeah, boy.
- Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Michael Cole's little nicknames for everyone? "Smackdown's Resident Redneck!" "The Ultimate Opportunist!" Hate that fucking guy. Not feeling this show, either. These two tried the rasslin for a little too long. Gotta brawl, yo.
- Business picked up after a little while, but Edge lowblowed Batista for the DQ at 12:47. **1/4. Dull all around.
Wait a second, Teddy Long comes out, and restarts the match. Fooled me. If Edge gets disqualified, he loses his title.
- So, uh, Edge speared Batista really early, but couldn't get the win. Batista gives Edge a powerbomb on the floor, but he gets counted out at 2:07. I must take something off on principle. Final rating for the match is *3/4. Lame ass match. Batista Bomb after the match...okay.
Candice Michelle vs. Melina for the Women's Title...
- Good luck with this match. Terrible stuff. Candice wins with a spinwheel kick at 4:20. DUD. New champ, btw.
Prior to this match, JBL wanted recognition. The ring announcer read a speech, and then, we've got...
Bobby Lashley vs. Mick Foley vs. Randy Orton vs. King Booker w/Queen Sharmell vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship. Non elimination, first man to get a decision wins. No DQ, no countout.
- Lashley stole Brock's ring jump explosives. Gay. Booker's pirouetting is so funny. LOL stuff. No heat at all for the entrances...I can't take it anymore.
- Everyone wants to beat up Orton. They do, and then Lashley does a TOPE onto everyone. Impressive. I don't like how they tease Lashley vs. Cena. Lashley is not Brock Lesnar.
- There's action all over the place, which heats the crowd up. Lashley gets F-U'd through a table, and after a while, Foley hits Lashley, Booker, and Cena with a chair. Orton stops Foley and punts him, good thing, he was next. Confusion ensues, and Cena hits the F-U on Foley for the win at 10:08. Biggest no duh of all the time. No question Foley was taking the fall. ***1/2. Was fun, but way too short to matter. Would've been better if longer. Cena up against the odds is worn out.
Rating: Poor. Trying to be nice, but can't rate the show highly. It sucked. Period.
Best Segment: Basically every moment that the legends were on screen. Had I watched it live, would've been total mark time.
Worst Segment: Women's match. Nothing redeemable at all.
Boston show from March 1989 is next. Unfortunately this show wasn't as good as it looked.
Plot: After a car accident, A woman finds herself in a strange carnival of the undead.
Review: One of the best pre Night of the Living Dead zombie movies (yes, the undead existed in movies before that-and they didn't eat human flesh either), "Carnival of Souls" is also a horror classic. Made for about $33,000, and released in drive in theaters with little fanfare, it has sense become heralded as a classic-and rightfully so.
The film itself feels like a nightmare meets a Twilight Zone episode, and the zombie make up isn't that great (again, made for $33,000), it nevertheless is a haunting gem, well acted throughout, and containing a killer climax to boot. In an interesting turn of events, the movie was more influenced by the likes of Bergman than the other drive in quickies of the time, which probably explains why it originally went ignored upon it's original relase.
If you want to see it, it's public domain, and easy to find. If you want to get it on DVD, get the Criterion Collection 2-Disc version, and while I love MST3K, avoid the version with Mike Nelson on commentary mocking it (seriously Mike, stick to ripping on bad movies.)
Verdict: 10/10 A horror classic that deserves to be seen by everyone-even those who normally don't watch horror.
• So along with killing bugs yesterday something else monumental took place at the kkk household. The better half and I had to say goodbye to a longtime friend. This companion was with me during the times in my life when I needed assistance the most. Loved by my niece and nephew, he was always able to make them look forward to that day’s activity. And whenever we thought this mate was down and out, he would always surprise us with more get up and go. Who was this person? My crack-whore sister-in-law? A relative with Alzheimer’s? That crazy neighbor? Nope.
My 1988 Chevy Corsica.
Back in late 1999/early 2000 I was living in Sappy Valley and looking for a used car. The better half and I were using her red cavalier to get around, but I knew with an impending move on the horizon we needed two vehicles. I started looking in Auto Traders and other media outlets with no urgency. Then I got the call from my old man. “Do you want an ’88 Corsica?”
Hmm, I remember a few people from my past with Corsicas and they always seemed reliable. Sure, why not. I know jack shit about automobiles. At least this is better than picking out a vehicle because of its color. So I went back to the Shittsburgh area and got this vehicle for $1500. Go ahead and mock me for over-paying. I don’t know if I did or not. It was an older vehicle but had a bunch of stuff done to it. The guy who owned it got the car for his elderly mother and now she couldn’t drive it and he had no room at his place for another car. I guess I should have checked to see what nursing home he put his mom into, because if it was a rat’s den then maybe the brake-line should have been inspected prior to purchasing.
Eight months went by and this car was running with no problems. However, I wasn’t taking it on long trips. Just to work and back – all within a 10-minute drive or so from my second job. And before EricMM starts bitching about carbon footprints and all that shit, I used to walk from my one job because the busses didn’t start up that early. It took me more than an hour to walk home, and a bicycle wouldn’t help my impending move. Yes, I was moving from central Pennsylvania to southwestern Ohio. And on that August day I turned in my keys to my Jew-bastard apartment manager-ette, packed the car to the gills with my stuff and headed off to glorious Middletown. During this eight-hour trek I kept thinking to myself “Don’t break down. For the love of God, don’t break down.” And while there were a few times during some steep inclines I got antsy, the Corsica came through.
After I reached Ohio, I was always expecting this car to die, especially when I would make 50-mile round-trips to and from work. Oddly enough, the car not only ran but it ran rather well. Sure it didn’t have the fancy gadgets all the newer models had, but I am NOT a car person. As long as it gets me from Point A to Point B I’m happy. And year in and year out it did just that. OK, so it needed a rebuilt transmission, but whatever. It was old. If you would say to me that you get a 12-year-old car, drive it for 8 years and only have to rebuild the transmission, I’d say that’s a good deal.
Three years have passed and Mrs. kkk and I were getting ready to drive back to Pennsylvania. Once again, we didn’t think this car had it in him for a similar packed-to-the-gills run across state lines, especially since I never bothered to get an Ohio license plate and updated commie emissions tags. (I avoided the law for three years with Pennsylvania plates and a Temporary registration sticker.) But we were proven wrong for a second time. Now in Pennsylvania we thought for sure this relic would finally call it a day, especially since we never really bothered to maintain the upkeep. But once again we were proven wrong. Sure this automobile could no longer make the everyday work commute through rush-hour traffic, but we didn’t ask him to do that. Need to go to the local grocery store for a gallon of milk? He was there. Have the urge to do some Christmas shopping but the better half has the other car? He was there. Desire the pleasures of some ladies of the evening by making a stop to a Shittsburgh street corner? Hell no. I wasn’t getting no jammy juice on the red velvet interior.
Fast forward to the Summer of 2006. Mrs. kkk was in-between jobs and spent the summer working at a local pizza place and babysitting her niece and nephew. Who was there every morning when she had to arrive at her brother’s house at 6 a.m.? Who was there when it was time to take the kids to their dozen-plus summer activities? Who was there to navigate those crater-filled backroads? You guessed it. Not the 2004 Blue Caviler. That was taking me to my job. But instead, as my nephew-in-law dubbed him, Crappy the White Car.
Why was my Corsica called Crappy the White Car by a kid who will probably make more as a college intern than I do right now? Because while Crappy could still get you from Point A to Point B he had some … issues. First off, the passenger-side door couldn’t open. That was the case for years. I didn’t care. Hey, I figured if someone wanted to carjack me I had a 1 in 4 chance of getting away right off the bat. Then there was the horn issue. One day I was using Crappy for a trek in Shittsburgh due to a work-related issue and the Caviler was already in use. I knew this would be a risk, considering I it was mid-morning and I knew traffic would be stop-and-go. I was right, especially since every other business in Oakland had its vending deliver trucks clogging up the right-hand lanes. Crappy didn’t take too kindly to this and after about 40 minutes of this I was got pissed and hit the steering wheel. This in turn caused the horn to blare nonstop. For several blocks. God only knows what the poor female motorist in front of me was thinking. I tried to let her know that I wasn’t honking at her, rather Crappy was just going off on his own. But I think I did more harm than good because when observed from a distance I think my body language looked more like limbs flailing about in rage. How did I solve the case of the blaring horn? I grabbed the horn panel and yanked something out of place. I thought that would work and it did. For about two miles. Then it started again and I yanked something else. That was that. Or so I thought.
Fast forward to Mrs. kkk’s stint as Aunt Nanny. On one of her trips with the kids to summer camp I guess the horn went off on its own, much to the delight of the niece and nephew, who found the whole thing funny as hell. Couple this with all the amenities of stalling out, no heat or air conditioning, a clock radio that we couldn’t properly set, speakers that were blown out and bellowed out more static than music, peeling paint from all sides, missing knobs, a cracked dashboard from another time I made a this-car-will-overheat-because-of-this-goddamn-traffic back in 2002 (man I-75 was a bitch; thank God I found that back road route to work in Ohio), a crack in the windshield that was there when I first bought Crappy and a gas cap that was hanging on by a thread and you have in the eyes of a 9-year-old the coolest car on the planet. These two kids, particularly the nephew, were OBSESSED with this car. They actually preferred riding in Crappy than our ’04 Caviler or any of the trucks/vans their parents owned. Even earlier this year when the better half was picking the kids up for some function she was asked if they were going to be “riding in style,” a question that was often asked by my nephew whenever he learned Aunt kkk would be driving them somewhere. The nephew even wrote book about his experience during that summer with Crappy the White Car. (Don’t laugh. This 9-year-old was the only one among us who knew how to fix the time on the clock radio. For almost 5 years Crappy was 40 minutes off in time – 1 hours and 40 minutes when clocks had to be adjusted.)
But all things don’t last. After this past winter Crappy decided enough was enough and decided to call it a day. We think it’s the starter but frankly it just doesn’t matter at this point. For months he had been taking up space in the garage until one of us finally got the desire to call one of those tow-away-for-charity organizations. And yesterday that big flatbed in the sky took Crappy away for good.
Crappy the White Car (1988-2008)
The garage just won’t look the same. … Oh who the hell am I kidding? Now until we get a second car, which won’t be until this ’04 Caviler becomes the New Crappy, we won’t need to scrape ice off the windows every winter. But couldn’t the garage be spinning just a little bit? Maybe. But that could be because of the exhaust Crappy would always spew out.
• So today the better half told me that there was a group of bees/wasps/whatever starting up a nest in the top left corner of our garage door. The following conversation then took place. You can figure out who’s who:
“Why do I have to do it?”
“Because I’m working at the second job to pay for my niece’s baby shower because I’m a fucking idiot and once my mom dies there will be nobody left to cater to the crack-whore so she will start calling our house begging us to drive her to the methadone clinic, welfare office or some other decrepit locale.”
“So wait until the evening and go out there and spray so you get them all.”
“Even the women and children bees?”
“Yes. That’s why you do it in the evening. When they are all back at the hive.”
“Wow. Now I know what George W. Bush must feel like.”
Of course, if the kkk household was made up of Democrats, we would first try to understand why the insects decided to stage an insurgency. Was it because of pollution they decided to set up shop at our residence? Did their previous hive get foreclosed on because of the RECESSION~? We wouldn’t have time to really know because we would have moved to another location. But there are enough left-wing queers on my block. I guess that makes me a fly in the ointment. OK, now this is getting dumber than I thought possible.
All I can say is that after trip outside with the bug spray…
Of course now the rest of the bugs in the neighborhood will be blowing themselves up, causing my approval ratings to dip even lower among the commie neighbors (if that's possible). Bring it on.
• I’m sure there’s a joke to be made here about black people and making babies, but that would be wrong. Can’t wait to find out what a bunch of white people in lab coats determine to be the bodily enhancements of Popeye’s Chicken.
Speaking of watermelon, I LOVE this stuff so much I can't buy it or I'll eat the entire box. Well, not the ACTUAL box, but rather what is inside of it.
Plot: Zombies rise from an nuclear power plant (built on top of an Indian Battle Ground-oh no!) and attack Kansas.
Before I get to reviewing this, it's time for a history lesson. You see, in the 80's, we started to see really (and I mean really) low budget horror. Granted, microbudget horror is nothing new. People were churning out cheap exploitation made for crackerjack money back in the 60's and 70's. The 80's though, gave us a new device: the camcorder. That's right,now anyone could do their own backyard effort. Also, it should be known that the 60's-70's microbudget directors at least had some sort of experience in the business of film and television. The folks with camcorders though, didn't. If there is any consolation, the 1982 shot-on-video "classic" Boardinghouse received a theatrical release in Grindhouse theaters, and is watchable in a what the fuck did I just watch way.
The 90's were a dark time to be a horror fan. Sure, Scream came out and gave horror another chance, but it unfortunately lead to a series of poor imitators and inferior sequels, giving the movie some unneeded (but predictable) scorn from angry virgins. The Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, but Hollywood didn't want to call it horror, when it clearly was. Oh, and while there were still zombie movies, they were few and far between. So, that lead to the greatest catastrophe to come to horror from the 90's to this millennium(I think they ended in 2002): the Shot on Camcorder zombie movie. These movies offered something studio horror didn't offer: full on hardcore gore, sexual content, nudity, and zombie mayhem. Sadly, they were done by people with no experience whatsoever in the field of film making, which meant that they were all horrible in every conceivable level, and not in a so bad it's good way. I mean in a so bad it's bad way. Imagine watching somebody's home videos/home movies for about 80-90 minutes. There you go.
Now, on to our
Review: This is actually the first in trilogy of films from "filmmaker" Todd Sheets, who admits his movies are unwatchable. Instead of reviewing it, here's what you have in store:
Terrible, rubbery gore
A man named Sam (modeled after Sam Kinison) doing a speech about his dead goldfish Butthead.
The worse handlebar mustache every committed to anything.
Horrible attempts at exposition.
No real plot to speak of.
Bad gore and make up effects.
Terrible attempts at gags.
The fact that, just like in every other Shot on Camcorder zombie movie, nobody involved had any previous acting experience.
I think you get the point. I've already suffered through it. Don't let it happen to you.
Rating: 0/10. You'd have more fun watching a home video of a colostomy than watching this. Avoid at all costs.
Let's see how this compares to Nitro, shall we?
Rick Rude comes out, and wants everyone to shut up. I thought he was going to launch into the old routine. Similar, but instead of taking his robe off, he just asked everyone to be quiet. He cracks a few insurance jokes, and leaves. He sells insurance to all.
Owen Hart and The British Bulldog will face The Legion of Doom in our first match.
- Slaughter and Shawn Michaels were arguing in the back prior to this...
- At about the four minute mark, Animal tags in, and the Godwinns head down to the ring. One of them hits Animal with a slop bucket, and Owen pins Animal for the win at 4:58. *3/4. After the bout, all three teams fight. Nothing was solved.
Mankind has some comments about Taker...he still hasn't forgotten their feud not so long ago.
Shawn Michaels says that he's mad about the WWF, then we've got
Sunny to the ring, to introduce Brian Christopher vs. Flash Funk.
- Both Christopher and Funk had some recorded comments. Christopher wanted to face a heavyweight after his disappointing loss to Taka Michinoku. Vince's comments that try to put Flash over are hilarious. "Oh he's so funky." Picture it. Lawler wants his son to give Funk a piledriver, but his words distract Christopher, leading to a Funk 450 splash for the victory at 3:41. **.
Taker comments on Shawn, and then says that Mankind had better stay in line. Well, he's right.
The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik is up against Ken Shamrock.
- Shamrock is quite popular. Sheik jumps up on the apron and is given a belly-to-belly suplex. Shamrock rana's Sultan, slaps on the ANKLE LOCK, and Sultan taps out at 3:16. *1/2. Dominant performance.
The Nation of Domination comes down for an interview...Faarooq first. He says that Ahmed Johnson is a white man. No shit. He said that Ahmed couldn't be white if they sandblasted his ass. Very harsh. Just kidding about the "no shit" comment in regards to Ahmed being white. Rocky's got the microphone now, and calls the Disciples of Apocalypse a bunch of racists. Well, the Harris Brothers are part of the faction. I'd call it likely. It's a good heat promo from Rocky too. Calls the fans jackasses and that sort of thing, until DOA pop up on the TitanTron. They're there to kick ass. Come on down to the parking lot and they'll fight.
After HHH cuts a promo, they do fight. Until Los Boricuas take DOA's choppers. LOL.
Jesse Jammes vs. Brian Pillman in a dress...
- Funny dress, this one. I don't like this angle anymore. Goldust comes out and elbowdrops Jammes, which leads to Pillman getting DQ'd at 1:47. Good finish. That should happen in all "you must ________ if you lose" matches.
- Afterward, Pillman says that he'll leave if Goldust can beat him. Well! But, if Pillman beats Goldust, Marlena has to be Pillman's personal assistant for thirty days. Goldust declines, but Pillman says that Dakota is his lovechild. Goldust runs to the ring to beat Pillman up, but can't get to him. Marlena accepts Pillman's challenge, and Goldust ain't too happy about it.
Vader cuts a promo, and now that the Warzone has begun, it's TIME. Vader's facing the Patriot.
- Bret comes down the aisle, just to stand there. Don't like the way they use Vader, jobbing him out, I mean. Bret being out to watch sucks all the heat out of the match. Or maybe this is the Atlantic City crowd. We'll see. Full nelson slam gets the win for the Patriot at 4:56. Good win for him. **.
Vader knocks the Patriot off the apron, and beats him up on the inside. He's going to give Patriot a VADER BOMB, but Bret places the Canadian flag on Patriot. That pissed Vader off pretty bad. Vader breaks the Canadian flag, then he and Bret fight. Patriot won't let Vader get beat up, either. Go Vader!
Bret cuts a promo in the back, says that Vader's next after the Patriot. Well, go figure.
Steve Austin had a great sit down interview with Jim Ross in which he talked about his neck injury. Great. Great. Great.
Triple H and Shawn Michaels w/Chyna are now going to face The Undertaker and Mankind in the main event...
- Shawn's interaction with Chyna prior to the match was funny. Think it's kinda funny that WWF and WCW ran two big tag matches on the same night.
- All these dudes are still involved with the company. BUT TAKER RETIURD!1!11!1
- Before the commercial, Rick Rude came out. Good. Total brawl in front of a not heated AC crowd, Rude distracts, which leads to HHH being given a chokeslam by Taker. Shawn hits Taker in the head with a chair for the DQ at 8:31, and Taker blades. Again in the head, then Taker sits up, and the future DX leaves. All over. **3/4.
Rating: Great. Angles were really top notch, and wrestling was okay for TV. However, crowd sucked a fat one.
Best Segment: I liked when Vader kicked Bret's ass.
Worst Segment: Pillman in a dress.
RAW wins this time, by far. Next I'll review Vengeance 2007.
Plot: The third entry in the "Resident Evil" movie franchise sees Alice (Milla Jovovich) and a band of survivors from the previous (horrible) movie (including Oded Fehr and Mike "Where's Ice Cube?" Epps) and some new faces (Ali Larter as Claire Redfield and Ashanti-yes, that Ashanti) in a world reduced to a desert by the T-Virus. There's still plenty of undead, and the Umbrella Corperation want Alice-as she's the original. See, there's these clones-oh come on, you aren't watching this for plot.
Review: Not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, the third entry in the series is actually the best of the series so far. Sure, it's far from original-cribbing elements from Day of the Dead (1985) (domesticating the dead) and The Mad Max movies (post apocalyptic desert landscape), but it at least has some decent points to go with the mindless action.
For starters, there is thankfully more undead action this time around, with sun baked zombies at nearly every corner. Also absent this time is dreadful Nu-Metal, and that's always a plus. The acting is at least competant, and the movie itself is the most competantly directed entry in the series, managing to make sure you don't get bored for the large part. Also, if you don't like Ashanti, you'll be glad to know her role is small (as is her time in the movie).
That out of the way, the fact that Alice has powers and superhuman abilities (from the last movie, which I like to pretend didn't happen) is really dumb. That reminds me, you really don't care about anybody in this movie, as there is no character development whatsoever throughout. People appaear and disappear, and those who die are people you really didn't see much of anyways. The ending also leaves room for yet another sequal, and really, do we need another one. Ok, it made about $150 Million worldwide, so it's inevetible. That out of the way,t he series needs to end, as we can't keep getting sequal after sequal. It's tiresome.
Still, it's a decent Saturday afternoon flick, and if you don't think too hard while watching it, you might sorta enjoy it.
Final Verdict: 6/10. Dumb popcorn entertainment not at it's best, but hardly at it's worst, and is at least the best "Resident evil" movie so far. Check it out if nothing else is on.
Sorry I couldn't do the Boston show. I was too wrapped up in NHL free agency and couldn't find time to do it before it went off. We're gonna separate the Nitro and RAW reviews again.
Comments from Raven open the show. Guess what sort of things he says. Not a very typical WCW open, mind.
Harlem Heat w/Jacqueline vs. Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell w/Vincent is going to be our first match.
- Jackie shows up with the Heat during Nitro for the first time. I really like the Southern crowds that ooo every move. You know what I'm talkin' about. Booker's in, and he's a house of fire. Vincent interferes, that gives Harlem Heat the win by DQ at 4:36. Booker beats all of them up. All. *3/4. Nice way to give Booker a short little push there.
Next up, we've got the Barbarian facing Mortis w/James Vandenberg.
- LOL. Just a funny match. Mortis has a great moveset, as you all know. Not near as heated as the last match, but Barbarian wins with a big boot at 2:22. Weird time. Anyway, Wrath comes out and gives Barb the DEATH PENALTY. OMG. Then Meng runs out and puts the GRIP on Wrath until Wrath and Mortis gather themselves and leave. *1/4.
Eric Bischoff comes out, and says that he wants everyone to come to the NWO Birthday Party at Clash XXXV this Thursday. I already covered that. Bischoff says that a restraining order was given to Larry Z as well. I did not know this.
Curt Hennig and Ric Flair then have an interview with Mean Gene, in which they talk about the Clash. Hennig still is not a Horseman.
Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs will be Richards first match on Nitro...
- Knowing what will happen to both, this is funny! Somewhat lengthy for this sort of match, and unfortunately, it wasn't anything special. STEVIEKICK finishes Riggs at 5:13, then Raven comes through the crowd and gives Richards a DDT. Raven got a huge babyface reaction. HUGE. *.
Jeff Jarrett and Eddie Guerrero talked with Mean Gene...Alex Wright apparently wants to join their group. But Debra says that he needs a title first. Okay. They cut out Jarrett and Guerrero vs. Benoit and Mongo, I believe.
Paid announcement by the NWO...
Hour #2 begins with an Outsiders promo. They talk about how everyone came to see the NWO, that this is NWO Country and that stuff. Luger and Page will face them tonight, I don't think they care.
Syxx vs. Ric Flair is now.
- They were talking earlier about this being Konnan vs. Ric Flair. Suppose not.
- Competitive, but you can see that Flair is just not feeling it tonight. Syxx misses the BRONCOBUSTER, so Flair beats him up. FIGURE-FOUR time, but the B-Team comes in and beats Flair up until Hennig runs out for the save. 5:46 the time, Flair wins by DQ. **.
JJ Dillon and Gene Okerlund talk about the referee situation from Road Wild...then Randy Anderson and Nick Patrick argue and I don't care at all.
LA PARKA w/Sonny Onoo vs. Ultimo Dragon is for the TV Title...
- Dragon with the plancha! Good action, of course. Onoo kicks Dragon a bunch on the outside, but Dragon gives La Parka a frankensteiner, prior to applying the DRAGON SLEEPER. Onoo distracts the Dragon, but accidentally knees La Parka in the back, allowing the DRAGON SLEEPER to be locked in, for the submission at 4:08. Dragon retains. **1/2, for much fun.
Curt Hennig is going to face The Giant.
- The green lighting during the Giant's entrance makes him look pretty funny. Why they would job Hennig here I have no idea.
- Bischoff comes out, and says that the Giant's violating the restraining order. Now this makes sense. Doug Dillinger says that the Giant doesn't have to get back, but the Giant walks over and gets counted out at 3:43. He then stares down Bischoff, and Bischoff turns around, but...Larry Z is in his way. Oh man. Bischoff tries to run into the crowd, can't make it, and they both chase him to the back. 1/2* for the match.
Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon, who says that he isn't sure Sting wants to be a part of WCW anymore. Sting needs to step up his effort, and he has until the Clash to say something. Sting comes down, puts hands on Dillon, and points to some signs. You know what signs. Then he grabs a sign that says Hulk vs. Sting. Oh yeah!
After a paid announcement from the NWO...
Diamond Dallas Page and Lex Luger are facing The Outsiders for the WCW Tag Team Championships.
- Toothpick on Luger is LOL worthy, as always. Nash wants to fight Page, and he's got Page. Very heated match we have here...Page is the face in peril, btw. I don't understand how the match at the Clash is supposed to draw ratings when you've got this main on Nitro...
- Glad we got a REAL main event tonight. After drawing the big tag out as long as possible, Luger tags in at the 13 minute mark. Crowd went batshit, but as soon as Luger enters, the NWO interferes, at 13:41. Made perfect sense. For three quarters of a match, I can only go with **1/4, but with a good ending sequence and finish, would've been three stars easy. Anyway, the NWO beats up Luger and Page, until Ric Flair and the Giant run down and even things up. They kick ass, too, as the babyfaces regain the advantage. And that should've been your WCW WarGames team right there, facing Syxx, Nash, Hall, and Savage. But then you have the problem of filling out a terrible midcard, and Hogan wasn't showing up. So, NAW.
Rating: Good. I thought the main was pretty fun, and the angles were somewhat enjoyable.
Best Segment: Whole main event thing.
Worst Segment: Bischoff's waste of time promo inviting everyone to the NWO Birthday Party. Okay.
RAW from the same week will be next.
31 Days of the Dead starts...now.
01.) Night of the Creeps (1986)
Plot: Alien space worms enter people through their mouths (insert penis joke here), turning them into malicious zombies. Can Det. Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) save the day?
Review: If you love 80's horror, you've most likely seen this. It's not on DVD yet (legal problems apparently) , which is a shame, as it's a 80's horror classic.
So, what makes it work? Well, for one thing, the one liners (especially the "The good news" quote seen in the tagline. The acting is good for the large part, especially Atkins, who has a ball with the character he plays. The movie also has some (rather obvious) references to older B-Movies ("Plan 9 From Outer Space" for example) and noted directors, but it never hurts the movie.
Director Fred Dekker went on to make The Monster Squad, which is on DVD. While that's great, it would be even better if this one was as well.
Final Verdict: 9/10. A nearly perfect B-Movie classic that every horror fan should see.
Tomorrows movie: Resident Evil: Extinction.
July starts tomorrow, and I've decided to do something new for this Blog for the month: 31 Days of the Dead.
What's that? Well, in short, it's a review of a Zombie Movie each day. Here's the thing though: For the large part, I'm going to be avoiding the usual suspects, such as Romero, "Shaun of the Dead", Fulci, and the "Return of the Living Dead" series. Ok, you will get one "Resident Evil" movie reviewed. Why am I avoiding the "usual suspects"? Because, while I do love most of the usual suspects, I really can't say anything else about them that hasn't been said already. This is more for less talked about movies such as "Night of the Creeps", "The Dead Pit", "The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue", "Horror Rises from the Tomb", and others.
Hope you like it, and remember, feedback and comments are always appreciated.
We're about halfway done, so here's a look at the year so far.
-Heath Ledger died, and TSM was struck by the "Serial Pillist." Also, people are already raving about "The Dark Knight", even though it hasn't come out yet.
-Marvin got progressivley worse, reaching levels not reached since the reign of wildpegasus, and Deon got stupider. Both made it to the finals of the "worst TSM poster" tournament. I still hate them both. Amazingly, Marvin seems aware that he sucks and annoys people, while Deon is oblivious to it. Deon bumped a Jay-Z/Linkin Park thread, not realizing everyone with functioning braincells hates Linkin Park, and Marvin loves Glenn Beck, 3 Doors Down, and Staind.
-The Campaign 2008 Thread became horrible, with Marvin trolling the thread, Jerk arguing with everybody, CheesalaLovesRonPaul calling me a Republican (sorry cheesy, you are wrong), and Marney-my God Marney. She has to be a gimmick.There is no way a hardcore, insane conservative stereotype lesbian exists. No way. And that's not an insult to conservatives, as she's more insane than actually conservative. I dread her return. Still, she's better than Marvin at least, as she seems approchable outside of the CE folder.
-As far as music goes, Portishead have the best album of the year so far. Best Metal album so far is either Boris' Smile, Earth's The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull (not really metal though) or Nachtmystium's Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1. Best hip hop album is probably The Re-Up Gang's mixtape We Got it for Cheap Vol. 3. I think that The Carter 3 doesn't live up to all the hype it's been getting. It's a listenable album with a few great tracks, but it's not as great as everyone says it is.
-As far as horror goes, the best horror movie overall seems to be "Inside", with "The Lost", "[REC]", and "The Signal" as runners up.
-We were all reminded that Juggalos are the lowest rung of the music fan ladder, thus making me feels bad for Carnival. Speaking of him, I wish he'd post more.
-EHME finally had that kid.
-Obama is the official nominee, which means more bitching from Czech.
-Czech, Kingof909, NYU, and Vitamin X became mods.
-cabbageboy may be one of the dumbest or at least most annoying people, in the WWE folder right now. Everybody hates him for a reason.
-In spite of winning the worst poster tournament, Marvin was never banned, though he's tuned it down some. He's still terrible. Deon had posts in the "Things that Anger You" thread that are CronoT posting levels.
-Corey Lazerus prefers Nerd Rap to Real Rap.
-VH! Presents: I Love The New Millenium. Or: VH1 needs to be cancelled.
-Finally, "Kobe, How Does My Ass Taste?" No, not Kobe Tai...
Wow, two entries in one week? I'm gonna need an extended vacation after exhausting myself like this.
Next Sunday the All-Star Game reserves will be selected for this year's extra special, Yankee Stadium Circle Jerk All-Star Game presented by FOX. And hey it counts or something. I originally intended on picking my own All-Star team using all that stat geek crap I typically use but that was going to take longer than I wanted so instead I decided to make predictions for All-Star reserves primarily relying on those Joe Morgan friendly stats (AVG, HR, RBI, Wins, ERA, Saves). Player balloting will be going on this week for picking the reserves so doubt too much of what happens this week will effect the results.
Here are the current vote leaders in the fan balloting as of this past week:
C: Joe Mauer, Twins
1B: Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox
2B: Dustin Pedroia, Red Sox
3B: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
SS: Derek Jeter, Yankees
OF: Manny Ramirez, Red Sox; Josh Hamilton, Rangers; Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners
Only race in doubt is at catcher as Mauer tries to hold off Jason Varitek (really, Red Sox fans?).
C: Geovany Soto, Cubs
1B: Lance Berkman, Astros
2B: Chase Utley, Phillies
3B: Chipper Jones, Braves
SS: Hanley Ramirez, Marlins
OF: Alfonso Soriano, Cubs; Kosuke Fukudome, Cubs; Ken Griffey Jr., Reds
The one race that appears to be coming down to the wire is at shortstop as Ramirez and Miguel Tejada are locked in a tight battle. Outside chance Ryan Braun will slip into the final outfield spot. Now on to my predictions.
My A.L. Reserves Predictions
C: A.J. Pierzynski, White Sox
1B: Justin Morneau, Twins
2B: Ian Kinsler, Rangers; Brian Roberts, Orioles
3B: Mike Lowell, Red Sox
SS: Michael Young, Rangers
OF: Magglio Ordonez, Tigers; Carlos Quentin, White Sox; Vladimir Guerrero, Angels; Jermaine Dye, White Sox
DH: Hideki Matsui, Yankees
SP: Cliff Lee, Indians; Joe Saunders, Angels; Mike Mussina, Yankees; Vicente Padilla, Rangers; Justin Duchscherer, Athletics; Scott Kazmir, Rays; Roy Halladay, Blue Jays
RP: Francisco Rodriguez, Angels; Mariano Rivera Yankees; Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox; Joe Nathan, Twins; Joakim Soria, Royals
My N.L. Reserves Predictions
C: Brian McCann, Braves; Russell Martin, Dodgers
1B: Albert Pujols, Cardinals; Adrian Gonzalez, Padres
2B: Dan Uggla, Marlins
3B: David Wright Mets; Aramis Ramirez, Cubs
SS: Jose Reyes, Mets
OF: Ryan Braun, Brewers; Pat Burrell, Phillies; Carlos Lee, Astros; Xavier Nady, Pirates
SP: Brandon Webb, Diamondbacks; Edinson Volquez, Reds; Ben Sheets, Brewers; Aaron Cook, Rockies; Ryan Dempster, Cubs; Tim Lincecum, Giants; Carlos Zambrano, Cubs; Kyle Lohse, Cardinals
RP: Brad Lidge, Phillies; Billy Wagner, Mets; Kerry Wood, Cubs; Jon Rauch, Nationals