8:30 p.m.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 43: Anglesaut
I don’t frequent the wrestling folders of this place; the same goes with many of those “The One And Only” threads talking about a baseball playoff series, or something of that nature. So when people complained about Anglesaut’s obsession with the New York Yankees, I turned a blind eye. (Or is it a deaf ear?) I will remember this banned poster for something he said, but it wasn’t posted in a wrestling or sports thread. It was in one of the many cookie-cutter current events threads that talked about some youth cretin tried to kill his family/teacher/friend/etc. You know the thread. This is when all the hate-mongers (like me) wanted this person dead while all the pussies wanted to give him counseling and hugs. In response to some “a 14-year old doesn’t know what he’s doing,” response, Mr. Sault replied, “I'm fairly certain that these kids knew that the fire boom-boom stick would cause boo-boos.” One of my favorite lines.
And now a word or two from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From EricMM:
From SFA Jack:
4:30 p.m.
• Some free advice. When your better half asks you what you have planned for the day (Sunday, January 14) before her birthday, don't say, "watching football."
3 p.m.
• Let’s see how well I did with my Wild Card pickkks.
Kansas City at Indianapolis (7.5)
Well, I got Indy right. I predicted them to win and they did. I do feel bad for the Chiefs defensive unit though. My God was Kansas City’s offense anemic. I thought they might start the game throwing or doing some playaction since the talk I heard all week was that Larry Johnson was going to get 50 carries. I remember last year the Steelers started the game out unexpectedly by throwing a few passes to their tight end Heath Miller, and I thought the Chiefs might do the same. I was wrong. And the Colts really need to sign that Ty Law so he won’t intercept Peyton Manning in the playoffs.
Dallas at Seattle (3.5)
I was wrong. Seattle won, but not by more than a field goal. After watching that botched field-goal snap, I have to thank my stars that Romo didn't run in for a touchdown and instead got tackled before reaching the first-down marker. Good God, that play would be playing on ESPN in a continous loop.
New York Jets at New England (8.5)
Wrong, but it was an entertaining game. Even though I thought the Pats would win with a close final score, the Jets played them tough until that fatal backwards pass which changed the entire complexion of the game.
New York Giants at Philadelphia (7.5)
Poor Emily. I got this game right –– a narrow Philly win -- but what scared me during this contest is that I realized what the media coverage would be like should Emily and Peyton ever meet in the Super Bowl. Good thing that’s not going to happen this year. I still get the shivers whenever I think back to MANNING BOWL I all the way back in Week 1 of this season.
11:15 a.m.
• So there's a stink in New York City.
And how exactly is this news -- was there more cab drivers than usual on the road?
6 p.m.
• Those wacky Democrats are already breaking their promises. Sound the alarms. From Drudge.
Actually, I really don't care how many days a week Congress works. The fewer the better, in my opinion. What I would like to see are all federal and state politicians not be eligible for pensions and shit after they leave their elected jobs. Politics wasn't meant to be a lifetime career, unless you started out as a lowly state representative and advanced every few terms all the way to senator or governor. I don't believe in term limits, but I can sympathize with anyone who favors them.
2:30 p.m.
• I was wondering when we'd get back around to the "OMG people are too scared to elect a powerful woman to office" talk. From some Jew at a Chicago paper.
So I guess if I don't vote for Hitlerly in '08 I'm afraid of powerful women. And the fact that she's the Anti-Christ would have nothing to do with my choice. Oh, and if we get our own Margaret Thatcher, rest assured I'd vote for her. Unless of course her tits were small.
11 a.m.
• So it was midnight and I was scanning On Demand and decided to partake in the awesomeness of Roadhouse, the bouncer flick to end all bouncer flicks. Just when Jack Dalton was about to accept an employment offer from the Double Deuce, I get a call from the mother-in-law, asking for Mrs. kkk. I told her that she hadn't returned home from work yet. Minutes later the better half called. Thinking something was up, I asked what was going on. My out-of-control niece-in-law had left my mother-in-law a suicide note. Whatever. Too bad she's too fucking lazy to actually kill herself. Turns out it was nothing more than an attention ploy. A whole bunch of shouting and fighting ensued between the 19-year old and the better half once she found her at one of her usual hangouts. I asked the Mrs. when someone writes a note like that don't they have to be committed or something? I was told yes. Too bad that didn't happen, but I'm not getting involved. I learned a long time ago to stay away from psycho bitches, even if my intent is not to stick my dick in one of their orifices. Hopefully, last night's action will cause the better half to disown her niece, much like Mrs. kkk has done with her crack-whore sister, who in an odd twist of fate, is the mother of the out-of-control niece-in-law.
But everything all worked out in the end. I did manage to watch Roadhouse before going to bed last night. And the sheer awfulness of watching this in all of its unedited glory has me yearning to view it in widescreen. "A polar bear fell on me." Jesus Christ.
• I can only hope this is the start of more lawsuits relating to the Duke case. When it comes to rape accusations, unless the accused is saying the rape took place 20 years ago, I give the accuser the benefit of the doubt. However, as this story started falling into place, it became clear that these students were being set up. Let the litigation begin.
11 p.m.
• Not only are these non-Americans taking our jobs, but they are also taking our contests. If the mother is not a legal resident, and if the rules state citizenship is a requirement, then she doesn't get the prize money. I guess since she can't run for President, that must smack of second-class citizenship, too.
4:30 p.m.
• I love Wild Card weekend. Four games throughout the weekend – you can’t beat that. Time to make some pickkks:
Kansas City at Indianapolis (7.5)
Because everybody is expecting a 52-49 shootout, I’m sure this will probably end up being a 6-3 affair. Kansas City needs to run the ball and this matchup favors them. Indy needs to score a bunch of points because of a poor defense and this matchup favors them. What will happen? I have no idea. But this game is at Indy, and it’s not a divisional playoff, so I’m hoping Manning doesn’t choke until another round or two into the postseason. Since I’m making people pick final scores in my kkk Bowl contest, I’ll say Indy 40, KC 27.
Dallas at Seattle (3.5)
These two teams haven’t been playing well as of late, so I’m just hoping the home field really does play an advantage in this contest. Dallas has won on the road this year, and Seattle plays in the NFC West, so I have no idea how this one will turn out. Seattle 24, Dallas 17.
New York Jets at New England (8.5)
This one intrigues me. These teams split the season series. The Pats pretty much dominated the first game, with a few freak plays keeping the Jets close. The Jets then beat New England on their home field in the next game. Now will the more experienced Patriots kick it into high gear in the playoffs, or will the Jets hang tough against a divisional foe? The only reason I’m going with the Jets is because this doesn’t look like the same Patriots from year’s past. New England 20, New York 13.
New York Giants at Philadelphia (7.5)
Philly has been playing good late in the season, and the Giants have been inconsistent. However, because this is a divisional match-up I’ll go with the Giants, even though I think Philadelphia will win. New York 17, Philly 21.
3:30 p.m.
• Might as well finish up my NFL pickkk results for the rest of the regular season.
First are my Week 15 results, which I forgot all about.
San Francisco at Seattle: Correct
Dallas at Atlanta: Correct
Cleveland at Baltimore: Incorrect
Detroit at Green Bay: Correct
Houston at New England: Incorrect
Jacksonville at Tennessee: Correct
Miami at Buffalo: Incorrect
N.Y. Jets at Minnesota: Correct
Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants: Correct
Pittsburgh at Carolina: Incorrect
Tampa Bay at Chicago: Correct
Washington at New Orleans: Correct
Denver at Arizona: Correct
Kansas City at San Diego: Incorrect
St. Louis at Oakland: Correct
Cincinnati at Indianapolis: Correct
This week's record: 11-5
Week 17 results:
N.Y. Giants at Washington: Incorrect
Atlanta at Philadelphia: Correct
Buffalo at Baltimore: Incorrect
Carolina at New Orleans: Incorrect
Cleveland at Houston: Correct
Detroit at Dallas: Correct
Green Bay at Chicago: Incorrect
Jacksonville at Kansas City: Correct
Miami at Indianapolis: Correct
New England at Tennessee: Correct
Oakland at N.Y. Jets: Incorrect
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati: Incorrect
Seattle at Tampa Bay: Correct
St. Louis at Minnesota: Correct
Arizona at San Diego: Incorrect
San Francisco at Denver: Incorrect
This Week's record: 8-8
Year-end total: 126-130
Well, that's almost .500
• A while back I talked about this MTV show called "My Sweet 16," and how I wanted to take a shovel to the head of each of these spoiled brats. It was during this time I vowed never to watch this show again. I lied. I just had an episode on where some chick had a party that cost more than my college education, and the event was almost ruined when some boy put his face into her $800 birthday cake, toppling it onto the floor. While that was funny enough, there was then video of this kid being taken away in a police car.
10 p.m.
• I actually thought about saying this at my wedding just for a joke. Good thing I didn't or I wouldn't be alive today to tell this story. Then again I'm sure other people are saddened I didn't open my mouth for once.
8 p.m.
• It's official. Bill Cowher is no longer coaching the Steelers.
I'm sure there's some behind-the-scenes stuff going on, but this is probably as good-natured a departure as you're going to get in the NFL. I've talked about Cowher before, and while I contend the Steelers underachieved in regards to only reaching the Super Bowl twice under his tenure despite quite a few Conference Championship games, I have always thought him to be great at what he does. Sure there were quite a few big games where the other team's coach outclassed him in preparation and execution (New England in '05 comes to mind), but I'm sure any football fan would gladly endure all that heartbreak rather than look forward to that top draft pick year in and year out. I will add that I didn't like the fact he started Ben Roethlisberger in this season's Raiders contest after getting knocked out of a game the week before. Sure Roethlisberger play terrible and threw a few interceptions that were run back for touchdowns, but I didn't care about that; I was concerned for his health. That aside, I hope Cowher enjoys his time off. He's earned it. Oh, and from an August entry:
5:30 p.m.
• Just came back from the eye doctor, who dilated my pupils. Looking at the computer screen is ... interesting. Oh man, I am so on drugs right now. So what magazine was I looking at while in the waiting room? Highlights Magazine, baby. It's been years since I looked at a Goofus and Gallant cartoon. WTF happened? When I was a kid these cartoons had realistic drawings and funny escapades.
Now they're in color, look retarded and have stupid lines like. "Goofus slouches. Gallant sits up straight."
Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. Goofus is cool.
8:30 a.m.
• Damn National Guard. Always getting in the way of migrant workers wanting to pick lettuce.
• And while I'm talking about south of the border.
Then at the end of the article I read this.
How about respecting that border thingy that separates the U.S. from your shithole of a country?
9 p.m.
• 100 Most Influential Hispanics? I don't think I could name 100 Hispanics, period. Wait a second: I forgot about baseball players. Nevermind, I'm good.
• So what if our former Chief Justice thought the CIA was out to get him. This was the CIA, so it was probably true.
5 p.m.
• Update on the turkey baster family. For those not in the know, here is what I am talking about:
Mrs. kkk found out this afternoon, when trying to call Tonya to RSVP her presence at little Reba's birthday party this weekend, that Tonya turns her ringer off. Why? Because she's tired of all the bill-collectors calling. Oh, and Gary is pissed off because with Tonya's job of sitting around doing nothing, err, I mean cleaning her aunt's house (actually, I think it now may be her mom, rather than aunt) for the State, they are $100 over some marker and can't collect as much welfare. Of course, that was bound to happen when Gary eventually gets upgraded to full-time status with the County Courthouse's janitorial staff. I should note that the better half will be going to this party and not me. Why is that? Because these people didn't attend our wedding. Believe me, I didn't want them attending. I love cashing in "Get Out Of Family Events Because The People Hosting It Didn't Come To Your Wedding" cards.
3 p.m.
• Now let me get this straight...
So while black people were on top of houses waiting to be rescued, cops were saving frozen embryos? That's ... the most awesome thing I've ever heard. Yeah, I know it says this rescue took place a fortnight after the storm, but that information is all the way down in the fifth paragraph -- nobody actually reads that far down in these posted articles.
• Christ, I can't remember who I picked in Week 16. I'll just do a "correct/incorrect" quickie run-down and highlight the really stupid things I said while predicting this week's slate of games.
Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5) –– Incorrect
(6.5) Kansas City at Oakland –– Correct
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5) –– Correct
Carolina at Atlanta (6.5) -– Correct
(4.5) Chicago at Detroit -- Correct (The joke was almost on me.)
(9.5) Indianapolis at Houston -- Incorrect
New England at Jacksonville (2.5) -- Correct
New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5) -- Incorrect (Final score: Saints 30, Giants 7.)
Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5) -- Correct
Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5) -- Correct
Washington at St. Louis (2.5) -- Incorrect
Arizona at San Francisco (4.5) -- Incorrect
Cincinnati at Denver (3.5) -- Incorrect
(4.5) San Diego at Seattle -- Incorrect
Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5) -- Incorrect
N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5) -- Incorrect
This week's score: 7-9
Cumulate score: 107-117
Well, it was looking good until those pesky last 6 games.
Oops. I forgot about my Week 15 Pickkk results.
9 p.m.
So not only were the players roiding up during that magical summer of '98, but the baseballs were juiced, too? Oh my world is crashing down all around me. How could this have happened? HOW?!
7 p.m.
• There's an interesting topic over in the Sports folder regarding how the NFL should treat overtime games. Currently, it's the first team to score wins. It doesn't matter if points are scored on the overtime's opening drive, in the final seconds or on a turnover. Here's how college football does its thing, according to Wikipedia:
For years, the debate has been whether or not the NFL should adopt college football's overtime system. For years I have been in the "keep it as-is" crowd. Hey, each team had 60 minutes to score more points. If your offense doesn't take the field in overtime because the other team scored first, too bad. This is football. Quit yer bitchin'. However, recently I have been starting to wonder if the NFL won't be better if this change is made. After all, the two-point conversion made the NFL a better product, in my opinion. I think I may eventually change my opinion on this one.
5 p.m.
• This seemed to be the topic du jour on sports talk radio today.
If you can find a school that will pay you a shitload of money for a decade or so, then go for it. One thing that makes me chuckle whenever a coach leaves on place for another, especially on an amateur level, is that they always get on their players about commitment, dedication, pride, and all that other hippie shit. Then they pack up and leave when a better offer arrives on their doorstep. When I was entering 10th grade, my high school hired some redneck football coach who got on our players about being in the weight room and all that other jock stuff. Now even though I couldn’t stand him, he did turn our football program around. As my high school years progressed, our teams didn’t have winning records, but these contests were much more competitive. When I was a senior, our team got off to a slow start after losing a few close games, but you could tell this wasn’t the same team as in year’s past. In fact, it was predicted that the graduating class to come after mine would be playoff-bound (and in fact they were, as well as a few other classes after that). But one thing I’ll remember is that this same coach, who had his players commit all their time and energy to playing for him, left after my junior year for a better deal. I heard quite a few players on that team were crying when the coach announced his intentions.
• Pat Robertson is predicting a terrorist attack on the United States sometime later this year. Was this one of those direct-calls from God?
Hate to break it to you, Pat, but the terrorists already struck last September. And while I'm on the subject of Congress.
You know, I guess I could go “OMG partisan politics” and all that shit, but I don’t care. Democrats won the last election – they can institute all the commie programs they want. To the victor go the spoils.
• I was driving to my old man’s house during the holidays and was behind this hippie couple with all these bumper stickers attached to their piece of shit truck. While many were run-of-the-mill slogans, one got a laugh out of me. It was all white with red letters and read “Say No To Empire.” WTF? I wish we were an empire. That way, instead of all this politically correct bullshit we could flatten the entire Middle East, take their oil and turn that region into a big Wal-Mart. And forget about culturally sensitive meals at Club Gitmo.
7 p.m.
I heard it on his radio show this morning. Neal Boortz's radio show is back in Shittsburgh!
Well, it will be on tape delay, but the fact he's back in the market gives me hope for this region yet. He first came here when 104.7 switched to a RIGHT-WING RADIO network a few years back. At that time they needed something to fill the early afternoon slot since Rush was on another station. This is where I began listening to Boortz's show. As the weeks and months went by I began keeping his show on longer and longer until I stopped listening to Rush and Jim Rome altogether. Sadly, 104.7 took Rush away from the other station, moving Boortz to some commie-fag station. He got deep-sixed shortly thereafter. But now he's back, baby. Too bad I listen to his local Atlanta/nationally syndicated broadcasts online now, but that's neither here nor there. One funny note, Neal will be going up against his fellow 750-AM WSB talker Clark Howard, who is on the above-mentioned commie-fag station. Both shows are on tape delay in Shittsburgh, but that's OK -- it always takes this place a while to get with the times.
4:30 p.m.
I love my neighborhood. As I was driving home from work today, I got behind a school bus making its routine stops on my street. From the bus jumped out a girl (no older than 6th grade, probably) dressed in a prissy outfit on her way to her house, which, like many in my neighborhood are nice, especially for this area. Following her was this kid in raggedy jeans and a flannel shirt that headed over to his dad, who also had on raggedy jeans and a flannel shirt. I guess they were going somewhere because the dad was by a pick-up truck. Now I'm not making fun of the kid and his old man for their lot in life. I'm laughing because the dad had a mullet. I needed the chuckle, especially considering earlier in the commute two asshole motorists almost hit me and another driver as we pulled over to the side of the road to let a fire truck and ambulance, both with blaring sirens, pass us by. I laid on the horn for about a block-and-a-half and shouted various obscenities at them. Assholes.
The better half says I have a bad case of road rage, but I beg to differ. Yeah, I can lose my temper when I'm behind the wheel, but it's only at people who nearly inflict massive harm onto me by their negligence. If someone is driving the speed limit in the right-hand lane and I want to go faster, I don't get upset. If I did, I would consider that road rage. You are getting upset at someone for following the rules. Now if you were safely driving and some idiot decided to disregard your well being by pulling out in front of you despite having a yield sign, then I say you should be allowed to scare the shit out of them by laying on the horn and incessantly cursing. Hell, if you have something to throw out your car window, go ahead. If you freak that person out enough, perhaps they will think twice before putting someone else's life in jeopardy. You could be a hero.
For the new year, I'm going to be trying something different. Instead of waiting until the end of the day to post an entry, I'm gong to post whenever I feel like it throughout the day. When I "finalize" an entry, I will give it a title.
11 p.m.
• Well, I guess Michigan can stop bitching about how they were Jewed out of playing for the BcS "National Title Game."
• Dennis Green and Jim Mora Jr. got canned from their respective NFL head coaching gigs. You know, when I first heard a few years back that Green would be taking over the helm at Arizona I actually thought he would have have a chance at turning around that time. Then after five seconds my thoughts turned to something more plausible -- like establishing colonies on Mars. Regarding Mora, eh.
• Years ago I bought these four-player checker and chess boards, and the few times I used them the games got REALLY confusing. I can't imagine a three-way with ping-pong balls would be much less chaotic.
5 p.m.
Just heard Bobby Knight finally passed Dean Smith for most wins by a Division One college basketball coach. Good. I like Knight. Sure he's an asshole, but that's why I like him.
3 p.m.
For those that follow my kkk Bowl IV contest, here are the regular-season standings.
Final Standings
AFC EAST
* Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7 < PF: 119, PA: 111, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 >
New York Jets (Gert T) 8-8 < PF: 113, PA: 112, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 >
New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 7-8-1 < PF: 116, PA: 106, AFC: 3-8-1, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 1-5 >
Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 5-11 < PF: 117, PA: 122, AFC: 4-8, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 4-2 >
AFC NORTH
* Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4 < PF: 113, PA: 103, AFC: 10-2, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 5-1 >
Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 8-7-1 < PF: 110, PA: 108, AFC: 6-5-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 >
Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 7-8-1 < PF: 112, PA: 114, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-4-1 >
Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 6-9-1 < PF: 109, PA: 127, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 3-3 >
AFC SOUTH
* Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6 < PF: 111, PA: 110, AFC: 7-5, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 4-2 >
* Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 113, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-3 >
* Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 < PF: 118, PA: 123, AFC: 5-7, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 3-3 >
Houston Texans (Bored) 7-9 < PF: 115, PA: 116, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 2-4 >
AFC WEST
* Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1 < PF: 118, PA: 111, AFC: 6-5-1 NFC: 3-1, DIV: 3-2-1 >
Oakland Raiders (Smues) 8-8 < PF: 127, PA: 120, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 4-2 >
Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 8-8 < PF: 112, PA: 115, AFC: 6-6, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-4 >
San Diego Chargers (Porter) 7-8-1 < PF: 118, PA: 126, AFC: 5-6-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-3-1 >
NFC EAST
* Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1 < PF: 123, PA: 116, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-3-1, DIV: 5-1 >
New York Giants (Cartman) 7-9 < PF: 113, PA: 121, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 3-3 >
Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 7-9 < PF: 103, PA: 113, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 2-4 >
Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 5-11 < PF: 107, PA: 123, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 4-9, DIV: 3-3 >
NFC NORTH
* Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5 < PF: 123, PA: 107, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 3-3 >
* Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 < PF: 97, PA: 103, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 5-1 >
* Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 < PF: 123, PA: 112, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 8-4, DIV: 4-2 >
Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 5-11 < PF: 103, PA: 120, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 2-10, DIV: 1-5 >
NFC SOUTH
* Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4 < PF: 134, PA: 113, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 9-3, DIV: 6-0 >
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 9-7 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 7-5, DIV: 3-3 >
New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 6-9-1 < PF: 118, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 4-7-1, DIV: 2-4 >
Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 5-11 < PF: 113, PA: 122 AFC: 2-2, NFC: 3-9, DIV: 1-5 >
NFC WEST
* Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8 < PF: 121, PA: 111, AFC: 1-3 NFC: 7-5, DIV: 5-1 >
Seattle Seahawks (Chazz 1998) 8-8 < PF: 119, PA: 110, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 6-6, DIV: 4-2 >
St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 7-9 < PF: 125, PA: 119, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 4-8, DIV: 0-6 >
San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 6-10 < PF: 106, PA: 122, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 5-7, DIV: 3-3 >
PLAYOFF SEEDINGS:
AFC:
1) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 12-4
2) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 10-6
3) Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1
4) Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7
5) Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7
6) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7
Notes:
IND and TEN split their regular-season series and have the same DIV record. IND gets the higher seed due to a better Conference record.
Wild Card Weekend:
Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 9-7 @ Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 9-6-1
Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 9-7 @ Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 9-7
NFC:
1) Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 12-4
2) Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 11-5
3) Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1
4) Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8
5) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7
6) Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7
Notes:
1) GB and MIN split their regular-season series (I first thought MIN swept the series). GB has the better divisional record.
2) GB and MIN both have a better Conference record than TB.
3) AZ and SEA split their regular-season series. AZ has the better divisional record.
Wild Card Weekend:
Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 9-7 @ Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 9-6-1
Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 9-7 @ Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 8-8
Well, 2006 is almost at an end and many people go out to celebrate the upcoming new year. I am not one of those people. New Year’s Eve never appealed to me, especially with all the drunken idiots out there. For years the better half and I have just stayed home and watched some movies. Speaking of movies, I saw “Glory Road” the other day. It was there. If you liked “Remember the Titans” (and I did), and if you like college basketball, then you’ll like “Glory Road.” One thing I never understood about these kinds of films – why is it the whites always end up acting like the black people in order to be “cool”? Fuck that shit. Us crackers can get down with the jiggiest of them. Well, OK, maybe not. But our hair isn’t as nappy. Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah. New Year’s Eve.
This is the time of year that many people reflect upon their lives and vow to make drastic changes to supposedly improve themselves. Like the December 31 partygoers, I am not one of these people. However, last year I did make resolution to start putting money away. After spending the last few years buying a house and paying for my wedding, it was time to build up that nest egg. Then earlier this year the better half told me that her financial problems were out of control. Since then I have taken control of the household finances, and so far we’re a little less than half-way to paying off her credit card debt, which isn’t too bad, considering she went through an employment change this year and for a little more than three months was making considerably less than she had been. Other than this issue, I don’t see any problems on the horizon for ’07. Hopefully, this debt I talked about can get erased by the end of 2007, but if it takes until early ’08 then I will be more than content.
Getting back to New Year’s Eve. I’m trying to think back to any wacky stories that I was involved in on previous December 31sts, but all that I’m coming up with were a few years when, as a kid, I went all-night bowling with my old man and some other people – a step-brother one year, a few friends the next, some people that I never saw before. Each time the old man got pissed off over something stupid and the night usually ended up with someone screaming or one of our “guests” destroying property (one kid bowled a ball into a plant container – don’t ask). There was another year, when I was of college age, when me and a few friends got stood up by this one chick who was supposed to give us directions to this party she was at, but instead she got drunk and forgot about us (or at least that’s how the story went). Hell, for the big 2000 celebration, I was living at Sappy Valley and watched the festivities in my apartment because Mrs. kkk was at her part-time food-service job. Even if she didn’t have to work that night, it really wouldn’t have mattered because I had to go to my job a few hours afterward for my 3-11 a.m. shift. That morning’s work was interesting because a graphic artist discovered that our organization wasn’t “Y2K” compliant. It wasn’t a big deal – some automated forms were dated 1/1/1900 rather than 1/1/2000, but it was still good for a laugh.
Well, that’s about it for 2006. See you all NEXT YEAR LOL2006(7)~!!!!!
Oh righty. Let’s see if I can end the regular season on a positive note.
(2.5) N.Y. Giants at Washington
The Giants still have a shot at the playoffs. From NFL.com:
I’ll make it easy. Redskins win, Tiki’s dreams of a Bettis-like sendoff get dashed and everyone can blame the coach.
Atlanta at Philadelphia (7.5)
The Falcons still have a shot at the playoffs. From NFL.com:
I’ll make this easy. The Falcons will lose. But will they lose by a big amount? I’ll say no.
Buffalo at Baltimore (9.5)
The Ravens still have a shot at claiming home-field advantage, and even though they’ll probably win, I’ll give the Bills a fighting chance.
(2.5) Carolina at New Orleans
The Panthers are still in the playoff hunt, but I still have that bad taste a few weeks back against the Steelers where they quit, so I’ll say go Saints.
Cleveland at Houston (4.5)
No playoff talk here. Houston will probably win, but will they win by four-and-a-half points? Sure.
Detroit at Dallas (12.5)
I hope the Cowboys get up by 10 and then put it in cruse control.
Green Bay at Chicago (2.5)
The Packers can clinch a playoff. From NFL.com:
But the Bears will win and ruin what could possibly be BRETT FAVRE’S FINAL REGULAR-SEASON NFL GAME.
Jacksonville at Kansas City (2.5)
Both teams need this win to bolster their playoff chances. Will the Chiefs lost two home games in December in the same season? I’m going with history on this one.
Miami at Indianapolis (9.5)
After that Houston loss, now I’d say it’s panic time for the Colts. Then again, maybe this “nothing-to-lose” mindset going into the playoffs might be good for Indianapolis.
New England at Tennessee (3.5)
Will this second-half-of-the-season rally stop here for the Titans? I’ll be a party pooper and say yes.
Oakland at N.Y. Jets (12.5)
I’ll say the Jets will win, but not by a dozen points.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (6.5)
For all the crap the Steelers have gone through this season, to finish 8-8 will be much better than 7-9. However, I have to imagine the Bengals will be out for blood after what happened the last time the Bengals hosted the Steelers.
Seattle at Tampa Bay (3.5)
Even though Seattle has clinched the NFC West, that’s not saying much. I’m sure they would like end the season on a winning note before trying to make it back to the Super Bowl.
(2.5) St. Louis at Minnesota
The Rams can clinch a playoff spot, according to NFL.com, if the following happens.
I’ll say why not.
Arizona at San Diego (13.5)
Wow. I’m sure the Chargers will win, but will they win by that big a margin? Hopefully, the Chargers’ second unit will be able to trounce the Cardinals’ starters.
San Francisco at Denver (10.5)
The Broncos will probably win, but the 49ers will make it a game.
If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, chances are you know my opinion toward Division I-A College Football and the whole BcS system. From my 10/16 entry:
But even though I don’t care for college football, I do care about my fellow TSM brethren. When Bored needed an extra participant for this year’s college football pick ‘em contest, I was more than happy to oblige. I mean, it’s only a minute or so out of my busy week to PM him each week’s picks. Well a funny thing happened; I managed to scrap and claw my way to the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl up against my hated rival Kotz. Well, maybe not “hated rival,” but I know he won’t be inviting me over for dinner anytime soon. I figured because I post all my NFL selections, why not include this year’s bowl games?
Please note that I have spent zero time actually thinking about these selections, which is how I approached my selections for Bored’s contest. Now if USC is playing California Christian Academy Tech in Week 1, then I’m going with the Trojans. But for just about anything else, I’m completely in the dark, which in many cases would probably be the best way to pick games. I have no idea which teams have already won, nor do I really care. I’ll probably do a recap after the BcS game to see how good (or bad) I did. Oh, and Papajohns.com Bowl? Insight Bowl? Meineke Car Care Bowl? International Bowl with Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan on January 6? The hell?
December 19th
Poinsettia: TCU vs. Northern Illinois
December 21st
Las Vegas: BYU vs. Oregon
December 22nd
New Orleans: Troy vs. Rice
December 23rd
Papajohns.com: South Florida vs. East Carolina
New Mexico: New Mexico vs. San Jose State
Armed Forces: Tulsa vs. Utah
December 24th
Hawaii: Arizona State vs. Hawaii
December 26th
Motor City: Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan
December 27th
Emerald: Florida State vs. UCLA
December 28th
Independence: Oklahoma State vs. Alabama
Holiday: California vs. Texas A&M
Texas: Rutgers vs. Kansas State
December 29th
Music City: Clemson vs. Kentucky
Sun: Oregon State vs. Missouri
Liberty: Houston vs. South Carolina
Insight: Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
Champs Sports: Purdue vs. Maryland
December 30th
Meineke Car Care: Navy vs. Boston College
Alamo: Texas vs. Iowa
Chick-fil-A: Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
December 31st
MPC Computers: Miami vs. Nevada
January 1st
Outback: Tennessee vs. Penn State
Cotton: Auburn vs. Nebraska
Gator: West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech
Capital One: Arkansas vs. Wisconsin
Rose: USC vs. Michigan
Fiesta: Boise State vs. Oklahoma
January 2nd
Orange: Louisville vs. Wake Forest
January 3rd
Sugar: Notre Dame vs. LSU
January 6th
International: Cincinnati vs. Western Michigan
January 7th
GMAC: Ohio vs. Southern Miss
January 8th
BCS Championship: Florida vs. Ohio State
• Well they say Famous deaths always come in threes. First was James Brown. Next was Gerald Ford. Who will be number three? Saddam Hussein?
Then again, that Peter Boyle hippie might have been number one in this trio. Who knows. Regarding the death of Ford, I never paid much attention to his presidency. I remember hearing on Rush’s show once some sub-host (either Tony Snow or Michael Medved) said he had the most vetos of any four-year president. He pardoned Nixon and lost to that doofus Jimmy Carter. He also played football. That’s all I got.
• Interesting. We named our most recent kitty acquisition Max, and there’s a weiner dog named Max that lives across from us. Interesting note: last winter (or was it two winters ago?) I was watching my Max looking out our front-door window and he had that look whenever a cat sees something outside like a bird or a bug. I looked out the window to see what caught his eye, and it was Max romping about outside. Suddenly, this stupid dog ran in front of a moving car, and for a second I thought I was going to witness the premature end to the neighborhoods dachshund. Forturnatly, the car wasn’t speeding and was able to stop before hitting the dog. Had this vehicle killed Max, I wouldn’t have blamed the driver for this one. I let the neighbors know of what had happened and unfortunately for Max he now spends most of his outside time on a leash next to his bigger canine companion. It’s a shame, too, because it was fun to throw snowballs at him as I went to get the mail and he did his pseudo-charge at me that would switch into to a full-fledged retreat the moment I turned around to face the ravenous beast. There were also times I remember Max romping about in my yard, and even up to my front door, much to the chagrin of my three kids.
Oh, yeah. Here’s the story that prompted me to type the above paragraph:
In every family there is at least one sect that gives gifts that make you say “WTF?” And I don’t mean “WTF” in terms of fruitcake or some other equally lame gift. I know I’ve talked about Mrs. kkk’s side of the family on more than one occasion and discussed how some branches of her family tree are … unique. However, there is this couple that I legitimately can’t stand. I know I’ve mentioned them before, but for those who haven’t had the opportunity to learn about this happy family from Day 1, here’s a recap:
Mrs. kkk’s one cousin married some near-toothless Mexican who already has several kids from a previous marriage that he does shit with. Both were part-time janitors when they decided to have kids. There’s one problem: the Mexican is sterile, so they went to the clinic to knock the chick up via turkey baster. Please keep in mind that by now they have already claimed bankruptcy once and collect welfare, among other wonderful gimmies from the government. Because kid number one was such a joy, they decided to have another test-tube baby. Oh, and these welfare pros have purchased their own house and have a new car. All on a part-time janitor’s salary. Oh, and the wife works for the State as a “maid.” She gets paid to “clean up” half of her aunt’s house. What she actually does is sit down and watch TV all day. Why did I say “half of her aunt’s house”? Well because another relative is supposed to clean up the other half.
While I was over my old man’s house the day before Christmas, the better half went to her aunt’s house, where she ran into this happy family of four. What did they give Mrs. kkk for a Christmas gift? A picture of her car from when it was near-totaled a few years back from some bitch in a SUV plowing into her from behind. Oh, and we got the latest installment of this family’s “newsletter.” Every word/space/etc. has been faithfully restored, except for the text in bold. The names have been changed to protect the pathetic. Or am I just saying that and the names are indeed real? Either way, enjoy.
What did I get from Santa this year? I’ve said before that the better half hates shopping for me because she can never figure out what I want. This Christmas it was more of the same. I got season 8 of South Park, season 1 of Mind of Mencia, Unbreakable, Saw II and a new pair of work shoes. Whatever. I’m content. The better half was surprised at a number of things I got her, especially the cookbooks because she has been saying for the last several months how she wants to start baking and all that other shit. In fact, the one book I bought her was a title that she actually wanted. Go me.
Christmas in the kkk household usually goes like this. I’m first to wake up, which gives me a chance to put the presents I bought under the tree. Now I’m a bit of an odd bird in many ways, and one of them is that I refuse to use gift-wrapping paper. Fuck that shit. I use newspaper to wrap my gifts. First off I’m not buying this shit that will be torn to shreds when I already subscribe to a publication whose newsprint works just as fine. If anything, it’s easier to mold newspaper around a present than it is gift-wrapping paper. I also do this because it’s the degree I got in college. Newspaper = journalism school. Get it? Boy I’m a clever one. Well, if by “clever” you mean “a cheap sad sack hunk o’ man” then you would be correct. Eh, I’ve been wrapping gifts too long with newspaper to turn back now. This sort of thing is now expected of me, just like at this place when I say “hippie” or “commie” or “Jew bastard.” If I didn’t do these things, people would say, “what’s wrong?” Well, actually they say that anyway, but now I’m getting off track.
Once the better half wakes up she takes the stockings we hang over our entertainment stand and let the cats have at the toys she purchased them. It’s rather amusing because for about 20-30 minutes it’s nothing but a catnip orgy. After that entertainment dies down we exchange presents while “A Christmas Story” is being played on TBS. Even though we have the DVD to this holiday classic, I still feel the need to have it on with commercial interruptions. I do not know why. After gifts are exchanged we watch movies or something before heading out to my brother-in-law’s house for Christmas dinner. There we meet up with the in-laws, and Mrs. kkk’s sibling who isn’t a crack-whore. Now every year they make ham for dinner, and for as much as I love bacon and pork chops, I really don’t care for ham. I can’t explain why. I’ll have a slice or two, but I generally fill up on mashed potatoes and corn. More gifts are exchanged. Well, mostly gift cards, but it’s no big deal. This time is for the nieces and nephews in this house. To make matters better, this year the crack-whore sister-in-law wasn’t there because the courts aren’t allowing her to be in the same residence with her one daughter, who was at this function. For those keeping score at home, this is the other kid this crack-whore popped out; not the out-of-control 19-year old. This kid is the same age as the brother in-laws two kids, and this niece-in-law lives with her father and step-mom, so hopefully she has a chance in this crazy world.
Overall, this year’s Christmas was pretty much the same as the last few. It wasn’t “exciting,” but then again I’m no longer a kid, so it shouldn’t be. In a way, I’m starting to dig watching my nieces and nephews open their gifts and think back to when I was that age. Oh, before going to the in-laws we watched two rented movies: Invincible and The Lady in the Water. Invincible was good for what it was; if you like seeing Marky Mark run around on special teams for the Philadelphia Eagles, then you’ll be in heaven. I actually got a chuckle out of Greg Kinnear playing head coach Dick Vermil, and I never heard the story of that Vince Papale guy before, so that was interesting. As for Lady in the Water, if you buy this movie at full price you’ll be the one all wet. Ugh. I’m not a huge fan of M. Knight What’s-his-name, but then again I don’t “hate” him either. The only film I haven’t seen of his yet is Unbreakable, and since I got that for Christmas, I’m sure I’ll be watching it soon enough. When I do, I’ll rank his movies or something – yeah, that should take up a day’s worth of entries.
Now global warming is responsible for sagging coat sales? Is there nothing global warming can’t influence? From the Slimes of New York:
I would think that the lefties would embrace this aspect of our planet setting itself on high because less fur coats = less animals at fur farms. And regarding Paragraph 7:
Who in the hell buys a new coat every year? I’ve had the same non-hide jacket (with the attachable liner) for 10 years now, and it’s still in great shape, except for one “loop thing” on my left sleeve that got partially torn and had to be sewn up. My favorite part of the article was this paragraph in third paragraph:
And then about a dozen paragraphs down, we get this:
It's a shame global cooling didn't actually take place as was predicted by environmental "experts" a generation ago -- these coat stores would be making mad cash hand over fist. I bet Al Gore flying all around the world talking about his hippie global warming movie jacked this year's holiday temperatures up at least one-fourth of one-half of one-third of one-sixteenth of a percent. Damn you for ruining Christmas. Damn you all.
If you read yesterday’s entry, I know you are already psyched for Part II of my epic kkkhristmas shopping adventure. If you didn’t read yesterday’s entry, hit the “page down” button on your keyboard. I’m not linking yesterday’s entry for you lazy fucks. That would be stupid.
Now it was onto Best Buy, which is across the street from my local mall. Problem is there are about 1,000 vehicles blocking my path. You know, I don’t mind gridlock all that much during this time of year. I mean, it’s the holiday season. What else do you expect? What annoys me is when the light turns green and nobody moves an inch until the light turns yellow. But I digress. OK, now I’m at my Best Buy, unlike the other one I was at earlier in the day, which was closer to my workplace. This is my Best Buy. Stay away Shittsburgh residents. I got a workout tape she not-too-subtly mentioned a few weeks back. What else? She said a while back that she liked “The Little Mermaid.” What do you know? A LIMITED-TIME SPECIAL EDITION of this movie is on the shelves. What a coincidence. Alrighty then. Oh shut the fuck up. I’m standing with these people who are bitching about having to wait in line. IT’S KKKHRISTMAS TIME – WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? If you don’t want to wait in line then shop on-line or don’t shop at all. This one lady is complaining about not having feeling in her arm from carrying a slow-cooker or something. THEN PUT IT ON THE FLOOR! Jesus Christ I hate these people. You’d think they were in a concentration camp rather than in a Best Buy check-out line. The only thing I hate about waiting in line is that the other customers take seemingly forever to make their transactions and mine takes about a minute. What the hell? I want to have people in line wait as long as I did. Bastards. Why couldn’t my credit card have been declined on my first swipe or something? Oh well, I’m out.
As I’m driving back home I noticed the Wal-Mart shopping center (not the one I went to earlier today, this one is populated by rednecks, while the other is occupied by folks from the ghetto) and there’s no way in hell I’m going into that mess. There are other stores in this area, but I’m not braving that mayhem just to deal with all the white trash that I’m sure are milling about. I think I’ll take my chances with the other shopping center down the road with the Target and Kohl’s. First I stopped into Kohl’s. They have some neat stuff that the better half might like. Too bad I can’t find any of it. Hey, one of those foot bath things would be a good gift because she recently bought all this overpriced moisture junk and she’s been soaking her feet in our spare dishpan that we’ve never used. But which one do I pick? Christ, what’s the difference between them – they all have BUBBLES and HEAT and other shit I don’t care about. Oh I’ll go with the Conair one because it has some recoiling cord. Oh God, I just heard this redneck ask his girlfriend/wife/sister how much 10 percent off of $19.99 would be. You got to be kidding me. A 10 percent discount barely covers the sales tax; it’s not that big a deal. I remember back in ’98 I worked for a few weeks at some kitchen store that was going out of business, and everything was marked off. Many items were 10 percent off, and the customers didn’t believe the prices I rang up for them. “Did you factor in the discounts?” they would say. Uh, yeah. AND I ALSO FACTORED IN THE SALES TAX YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! Those were some fun times, but I’m getting off track. Oh hell no, I see boxes in the cooking section with Rachael Ray’s face on them. Oh my blood pressure is skyrocketing now. Words can’t describe how much I loathe this woman. Now I’m in the checkout lane and I’m ready to go home. The total gets rung up and then I do the unthinkable. I ask, “is that with discounts included?”
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I was just making fun of these people and now I’ve become one. No, I didn’t mean it like that! I meant to say that would I need to use my Kohl’s card to get the discount. Sonofabitch, I’m too late. Now the customer service representative has the upper hand by telling me that is the discounted price. Shit shit shit. Wait a second, why do I even care? Oh, yeah, because I like to make fun of stupid customers. Oh well, I’ll take my slings and arrows. One final stop to go, and that’s the Target store. I’ll get that six-in-one DVD holiday special with Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer and other shows that only get shown once per year. For some reason the better half likes that bigfoot-thing in Rudolph special. Personally, I hate all these shows, especially the one with the mule who had the big ears, even though it wasn’t one of the cartoons featured in this disc. If memory serves, there is this baby mule with big ears and for one reason or another he gets kicked out of his barn. His mom goes with him, protects him from the cold and DIES. Later the mule carries a knocked up Virgin Mary or something, so I guess that’s what his purpose in the world was, but the whole thing just depresses the hell out of me. Oh, yeah, Target. I also got these squirrel candle holders and shaving gel for stocking stuffers and two cookbooks because she’s been whining about wanting to start baking and cooking and all that other shit. Of course, she never talks about wanting to clean up the messes she leaves afterwards, but once again I digress. Now I’m going home. Final tally: Five DVDs/DVD sets, two cookbooks, two calendars, a foot massage thingy, some minor stocking stuffers. I usually get more stuff, but I wanted to take it easy this year due to debt that Mrs. kkk built up over the years that needs to get paid off. It’s more than I originally wanted to get, but what the heck, it’s kkkhristmas time.
For the last few years I have done my kkkhristmas shopping for the better half early into the season. Now for the first time in several years I avoided Black Friday and stayed away from those unbeatable deals found in the Sunday circulars. I figured this year I’ll do the shopping the Friday before Jesus' b-day when she’s out at her second job. So here’s a rundown of my thrill-packed day.
My workplace had its yearly holiday party, and for the third straight year I avoided it entirely. Fuck those people. Sorry, but I’m not about to break bread with a good number of these assholes, even if is just for show. If I don’t like you motherfucker I don’t like you, and the holiday season isn’t going to change that. If anything these Jew bastards should be happy they don’t have to spring for another meal at whatever cheap-ass restaurant they decided to hold this year’s lunch. Why am I talking about this? Because when everyone was out at this event, and then to an early exit home, I headed out to deliver some material to a mailing service and then thought I could get my kkkhristmas shopping done. Boy was I wrong.
My first stop was Best Buy. Holy Christ was traffic awful. In hindsight I should have known better because this shopping center is horribly laid out. I’ve stopped by this area before when I didn’t feel like going right back to work after dropping off my monthly mailing service parcels, but these times were during the non-holiday season. I should have known better, but whatever. After finally getting into Best Buy, I discovered that the store was ransacked and the shelves were nearly bare. Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted to get the better half. However, I just spent 30 minutes in gridlock, so I HAD to get something. Let’s see, she has been nagging me about seeing the Underworld sequel. There we go. While I’m out in this area I might as well check out the nearby Target and Circuit City stores. Shit, nothing in either one of these stores. Might as well get the uber-Narnia 40-disc special edition since it’s only $7 more than the regular 15-disc non-uber-edition. Oh well, it got me out of the office for a few hours. I returned back to work for 10 minutes, finished what I had to and headed home.
On my way home from work I was stopped at a red light at a shitty intersection where the stop lights fuck the traffic up even worse than it would normally be. Hmm, there’s a Wal-Mart nearby, but it’s usually filled with black people. No joke: This store supposedly has one of the highest rates of theft in the region, and it was rumored that it would close up shop. Might as well give it a shot. Jesus Chrst, there are almost as many old/fat people in the store with those scooter devices than there are cars in the parking lot. LOL – this kid is yelling “I have to go potty” and the rest of the young’ins in this clan (3-4 more, at least) are now yelling the same thing with the parents about ready to have a meltdown. And I’ll say this about black people and shopping carts – they’re almost as bad driving those things as they are with their cars. And they aren’t insured driving either one. Or am I thinking about Mexicans? I spent about five minutes in this shithole and high-tailed it out of there. So it’s still been more than a year since I have actually purchased anything at Wal-Mart. It’s not that I’m a Wal-Mart hater. I'm an under-class hater, and Wal-Mart has plenty of them. Then again, going into one of these stores can make you feel much better about yourself, or it will sadden you seeing your fellow man in such pathetic condition. I guess it depends on what your mood is at the time. For me, seeing Wal-Mart customers is an uplifting experience, especially the ones with multiple kids who are waddling up and down the aisles complaining about the prices.
The rest of my trip home was uneventful, although the shitty weather, coupled with the holiday traffic, made driving for the entire day an adventure. Fortunately, I got home in one piece. I listened to some phone messages, did a few household odds and ends, and then got ready for my second excursion of kkkhristmas shopping. But now we’ll be in my (red)neck of the woods. My stomping grounds. My people. Whenever I make my rounds with retail shopping in this area, it consists of driving out to the mall/Best Buy because they are the farthest stores away from me. I then hit all the other stores on the way back home. First was the mall. Why do I even bother going to this place? None of these stores do anything for me. I don’t buy clothes or jewelry, so that wipes out at least half of the merchants there right off the bat. Hey, I’ll walk into Spencer’s and look at all the crap that I’ll never buy. What’s funny about Spencer’s is that I always see these teen-agers hanging out, but then there are always one or two old normal-looking patrons who are in the sex-card/humor section of the store. Heh. Well, I’m at the mall, I might as well buy some way over-priced calendars of kittens. Next year is coming up and we need calendars. And they’re kitties. Sure I can get them at half-price elsewhere, but I’m already here and getting a free look at the cashier’s rack. One sixteen-month calendar and a one-a-day calendar. They cost HOW much? Oh what the hell, it’s kkkhristmas.
As I’m typing, my female cat Dessa is taking a shit in the computer room’s litter box. How the hell can cats, after squeezing out a few logs, put their noses just centimeters away from their steaming fecal matter? Gag. Now she’s trying to cover up her load by scratching the nearby wall – USE THE LITTER. THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR! Oh, and this odor is going to linger for a while. Say, what better time to bring this entry to a close on such a riveting cliffhanger? But don't worry, tomorrow we'll have the exciting conclusion to tonight’s kkkhristmas shopping excursion.
Minnesota at Green Bay (3.5)
Normally I’d go with the Vikings in this situation, but I’ve been hearing all week how this could be Brett Favre’s LAST HOME GAME EVER so I’m sure Green Bay will win. Then again, I did pick them.
(6.5) Kansas City at Oakland
I saw on the ESPN bottom line ticker thing that Randy Moss probably won’t play. I’m not sure how good he’s been this year, but I’m sure it can’t help the Raiders’ chances. Then again, this is a rivalry game. Ah screw it. I’m sticking with the Chiefs.
Baltimore at Pittsburgh (3.5)
The hell? Even with the Ravens clinching a playoff spot whenever they get a chance to sweep the Steelers, you can bet they’ll do anything possible to do so. And for the love of God, will the local Shittsburgh sports media STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THE STEELERS HAVE A PLAYOFF SHOT?! Not only do they have to beat the Ravens and Bengals, but something like a half-dozen teams also have to lose out. Steeler fans, be content if your black and gold can end the season .500 – it’ll be a nice accomplishment for a banged up season.
Carolina at Atlanta (6.5)
Christ, I don’t know who to go with. I don’t feel comfortable with that point spread but the Panthers freakin’ quit at home last week. Hmm, I’ll take a chance with the Panthers playing better this week.
(4.5) Chicago at Detroit
You GOT to be kidding.
(9.5) Indianapolis at Houston
Is this a trap game for the Colts, or did that Monday night win against the Bengals spark Indy? I’m hoping for the latter.
New England at Jacksonville (2.5)
I remember how the Patriots played against the Jags in the playoffs last year. I’ll stick with them.
New Orleans at N.Y. Giants (3.5)
I first went with the Saints, but this is being played in the Northeast. Maybe if I’m wrong that will mean Emily will have a 6 INT game. One can dream.
Tampa Bay at Cleveland (3.5)
Will Cleveland play another struggling team tough, or will they fold like a house of cards? Well they’re favored, so that’s one strike.
Tennessee at Buffalo (4.5)
If you would have showed me this game on the schedule before the season began, I’d figure these two teams could be playing for the top pick in next year’s draft. Instead, this game has playoff implications. Good going for all teams involved.
Washington at St. Louis (2.5)
The Redskins have been playing better as of late. Time for me to put that to rest by picking them.
Arizona at San Francisco (4.5)
That point spread gave me concern, but fuck the Cardinals.
Cincinnati at Denver (3.5)
I first went with Cincy, but then I remembered about their secondary, which should help a rookie quarterback out.
(4.5) San Diego at Seattle
Goddamn are the Chargers good. Too good. While watching the Chiefs game last Sunday night I was getting the feeling that they’re going to be had in the playoffs.
Philadelphia at Dallas (7.5)
I just heard Jeff Garcia talk for the first time last week. No wonder T.O. made those gay cracks at him. I think the Garcia wave ends here, although I find it funny Owens has disparaged two quarterbacks during his career on the other side of the field for this game.
N.Y. Jets at Miami (2.5)
Congrats to the Jets, even if they don’t make the playoffs. I think the Dolphins will treat this like a playoff game, costing their divisional foe a chance at the postseason.
• Let’s see, what exciting shit happened today. Well, the better half had a day off from work (again) and spent most of the day baking gingerbread men. When I got home from work I went into the kitchen and noticed each one of them sported different icing/candy pieces. She also named each of the dozen-plus she made. OK then. Well, to be fair, she names just about everything in this house, except for my gentalia.
• Here’s an update on the out-of-control niece-in-law that’s going into rehab. The niece-in-law and her crack-whore mother have plotted a way to get the state welfare agency to pay for the niece-in-law’s rehab. Lovely. And I told Mrs. kkk why bother getting a present for her niece when we already gave her a three-month all expenses paid trip to the rehab center? Of course, now the crack-whore is holding the fact she’s committing fraud for her daughter and whenever the niece-in-law doesn’t respond to one of her mother’s calls by the third ring the crack-whore threatens to call the welfare agency and spill the beans. God I love white trash. Oh, and the niece-in-law is back with her on-again-off-again boyfriend. There's no way in hell he's getting a Christmas present this year because they'll be split up (again) before 2007. Hell, they probably broke up 10 minutes ago and will reunite at the top of the next hour.
• And lawyers wonder why people despise them so. A few months ago this young couple was pulling out onto a local state road in my neck of the woods. Suddenly, two cars slammed into these people, and the woman suffered a variety of injuries, including, if memory serves, a broken pelvis, a broken neck, and the loss of her unborn child. This incident is finally going to trial, and the lawyer for the two punks who ran into these innocent victims has his clients’ defense as, “Well, they didn’t have time to avoid colliding with the plaintiff’s vehicle.” Would you like to know why? BECAUSE THESE TWO ASSHOLES WERE DRAG RACING AT MORE THAN 90 MPH ON A STATE ROAD!!!
• I just heard on the news today that Shittsburgh’s soon-to-be casino is going to be run by this minority-owned company. This doesn’t bode well for the NHL’s Penguins, who were hoping another group would get the contract/bid/whatever it’s called, because this company called the Isle of Capri promised, if awarded the casino, to build a new arena for the city.
Personally, I think the whole thing is bullshit. I don’t like having a casino in the area, but whatever. That’s why I live in Westmoreland County, out of the clutches of the greater Shittsburgh region. I’ve voiced my opinions before about Shittsburgh bending over backwards to build new stadiums for the Pirates and Steelers, but giving the Penguins shit every step of the way in their plea for a new arena. Of course, a new arena won’t just be limited to NHL play and would be an attraction for other entertainment venues to come to this shithole of a city, but why let common sense get in the way of kicking the Penguins out of town.
Come on, Shittsburgh, kick the Penguins out of town. Let them move to Missouri or Oregon. Allow them to play in a city that has a state-of-the-art facility and sweetheart deals galore. Give the team time to mature with its young talent. I hope they end up winning 10 Stanley Cups as the Kansas City Penguins. That way, when all the Penguin fans in my area start whining to their public officials about how they could have allowed the Pens to leave we can hear these so-called leaders say, “I don’t know why they left. We gave them every opportunity to stay.” Of course nobody will lose their elected seat over this because Allegheny County is overrun by Democrats, so I guess George W. Bush will be blamed for the Penguins’ departure. Hey Mario Lemieux. You sweat and bled for this team and this city. You did everything in your power to keep the franchise you played for your entire career in this dump. When the going got tough, you nutted up and became an owner. There’s nothing else you need to do to prove to me to show that you care for Shittsburgh hockey. Pack your things, move on out and make a shitload of money elsewhere. I might even buy a Kansas City Pens jersey to commemorate this occasion.
But hey, at least the Pirates are still here.
I must say, however, that I was surprised at who got the license. I was sure Harrah's was going to be awarded it because that company is BUTT-buddies with my sack-of-shit governor Ed Swindell. In the article I liked to above, Fast Eddie said a while back that a new Shittsburgh arena would be built "regardless of who got the slots license." I pray the Pens move for greener pastures and the new arena gets built only after the team leaves. That way the region will have a brand-new stadium but no hockey team to occupy it 40-50 times per year. Just another day in Shittsburgh.
• So I bought three $25 Target gift cards for my half-brother’s three kids. Long story short: He lives in Nebraska and is a doctor. He got divorced because his ex-wife is a psycho and I rarely talk to him. Not because I hate him, but he’s a DOCTOR with THREE KIDS. There’s more important things to do in life than call your little half-brother to talk about the Steelers/Pirates/Penguins. In fact, he was a groomsman at my wedding, and he’s one of the few people in my family that graduated an educational institution other than high school. Well, the better half and I bought these gift cards about two weeks ago, but as of yesterday morning they weren’t mailed out. Why is that? Because Mrs. kkk wants to put each one of them in a f’n gift box. Like my brother’s two kids that are 7-8 years old are going to give a shit. But no, we just have to have them in boxes. Well the better half went out this past weekend to the local dollar store to get these stupid boxes. Then she discovered that these boxes, when opened, were filled with mold and this brown shit. Did she take that as an omen that maybe gift boxes might not be necessary in this instance of gift-giving? Of course not. She went to several other stores to find these gift boxes, but nobody had what she was seeking. So yesterday afternoon she began to CRY because this holiday season wasn’t going how she wanted it to be. Seemingly every day when she’s not at her second job she’s doing something with her mom/niece/etc., whether it’s holiday shopping, going to some Christmas school concert, or whatever. And what would happen if Mrs. kkk would actually turn down one of these Christmas concerts or trips to the mall? She would feel guilty. So when she goes to all these events/errands, this means she has no time to do what she really wants to do for the holidays – baking cookies, sending out cards, buying gift boxes for gift cards from Target, etc. The good news is that she finally relented about those stupid gift boxes, and I’m happy to report that I mailed an envelope with the three gift cards enclosed, and they are on their way to Omaha.
But the fun doesn’t stop there. A few days ago I made a reference to re-gifting a Blockbuster card for a co-worker at the better half’s workplace and was given a rude awakening about the policy Blockbuster has regarding gift cards. After going to a nearby Blockbuster to find out how much shelf life our gift card had left, I found out that there was only a few days remaining(!). After informing the better half of this, she went out and bought a much cheaper gift card for her co-worker. The reason she went down on the price is that she’s getting a bad vibe from this person. It’s one of those cases where this person isn’t showing up for work half the time, and in a way I’m actually proud of her because Mrs. kkk is one of those people who just want everyone to like her. Normally the better half would be bending over backwards for every co-worker, cashier clerk and nearby motorist to approve of her existence, but after her last job I think she’s starting to become a bit jaded with seeking approval from anyone not her mother. Yay, I guess. Oddly enough, I could give a rat’s ass what my family thinks of me, let alone strangers, so perhaps there is some truth to that whole “opposites attract” thing.
• The Denver Nuggets just got Allen Iverson from the 76ers.
Bob Ryan on PTI this afternoon echoed my thoughts about this transaction. Denver now has a nice little team with two great scorers, but they still aren’t going anywhere near the NBA finals. I must say that I’ve never had a problem with Iverson. The guy plays hard and never seemed to really have a strong supporting cast. Sure he likes to shoot the ball, but that’s what he’s supposed to do. I’m sure he’d be a bastard to coach and all that, but I don’t care. I remember watching some playoff games where he would get brutalized while driving the lane, yet he would get up and do it again next time down the court. Oh well, he’s financially set for life, so I really don’t give a shit where he plays.
• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You get an adjustable rate mortgage/subprime loan and you deserve what you get. I’m supposed to feel sorry for these people? Fuck that. Go blame your woes on George W. Bush.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 44: Vyce.
With Canadian Chick in the #45 slot, it’s only natural that this perv creeps up right next to her, even if she may now be a bit too old for his liking. Vyce and I have this special connection, and no it’s not because we spy on all the pre-teen girls in our neighborhoods. (I’m just kidding, we just check out the ones with the hot racks and ghetto booty.) Rather, we are both in professions that we are ideologically opposed to. For me, it’s being a journalism grad. For him, it’s having a law degree. Now while he is a bit more liberal than me on some issues (he sure loves them queers), I don’t think we’ve ever bickered over some current event, so I guess that makes him part of the Conservative Brigade or something, even though he can’t properly pull off my OMG FAUX NEWS shtick. But then again, who can?
And now a word or three from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Lovecraft:
From Cancer Marney:
From SFA Jack:
• While perusing these blogs I’ve noticed a number of “Best of 2006” entries and stuff. This got me the thinking. Being the innovator of ingenious blogging delights, I’ve decided to P. Diddy-ize this idea and add some funk to its trunk. Here’s the deal. I’ll do one of these types of entries, but I want you, my loyal readers, to provide the topics. So in this entry’s comment section, give me what you want “kkk's _____ of 2006” to consist of and I’ll post the results sometime this year whenever I'm too lazy to write a real entry. The “_____ of 2006” can be a “best” or “worst” subject. Also, my answer may not be a subject or event that actually happened this year. For example, if Lovecraft would ask “kkk’s best horror movie of 2006” I would respond “Pumpkinhead.” But kkk, “Pumpkinhead” took place in the ‘80s. I know. But I watched it this year and laughed my ass off at how awful it was. Besides, it was the first horror movie I watched this year that popped in my head, so too bad. So let’s see how well (or awful) this turns out, if at all.
• I heard about this fight between some players from the Denver Nuggets and New York Knicks.I watched some of it on television, and let me say this sure ain’t no Pacers/Pistons. Nobody was even lounging on the scorer's table! Amateurs. Because I generally tune out of the NBA regular season, I thought this would be a good time to see the standings and find out who’s doing what.
You got to be kidding. Boston is in first place in the Atlantic Division with a 10-13 record? The Knicks aren’t in last place (yet)? Without Ben Wallace Detroit is still in first. Orlando’s in first place in the Southeast Division and Atlanta isn’t in last place? Utah is 18-6 and first in the Northwest Division (eh, I guess someone has to win it)? Ah, that’s why everyone sucking the Suns’ collective wang – they’ve won 14 in a row. The Lakers don’t seem to be doing all that bad, either. San Antonio, Dallas and Houston all seem to be doing OK. Damn, Memphis: 5 wins, 19 losses.
There. Now you’re all caught up on the latest NBA news. I'd do the NHL but I'm even more clueless about that league, what with those wacky regular losses, overtime losses and shootout losses.
These goddamn NFL Network and their hippie weekday games have my schedule all out of whack. Bastards. And fuck you Bryant Gumbel. I had to listen to your godawful commentary during the Browns/Steelers game. What the fuck are you doing in football anyway? Get the hell out of here and leave the play-by-play to your brother, Greg.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (7.5) Incorrect.
Yeah, I got it wrong. But what I want to talk about is how Kellow Winslow landed a cheap shot on a Steelers linebacker only to have his bell run on the next play, dropping a sure catch. Then Joey Porter called him a fag after the game and gets fined. Way to go Joey. I’m being serious. Of course, should he knock him out of the next game they play, or commits a personal foul, I wonder if Porter could be accused of committing a hate crime.
(3.5) Atlanta at Tampa Bay. Incorrect
I have no idea what to say about this one.
Baltimore at Kansas City (2.5). Correct.
Wow. I didn’t know this was the first Chiefs loss at home in December in 10 years. Boy do I look smart now.
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets (4.5). Correct.
I forgot who won this game, so I had to look it up on NFL.com. I saw the score, saw who I picked and thought, “Why’d I do that?”
(1.5) Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Incorrect.
Well, now that the Jags finally beat their divisional big brother, I can now feel comfortable in picking them to outright win a game against the Colts.
Minnesota at Detroit (2.5). Correct.
I still don’t understand how the Lions were even favored in this one.
(3.5) New England at Miami. Incorrect.
Wow, the Pats got shut out. Um, that ain’t good.
New Orleans at Dallas (6.5). Incorrect.
From my prediction entry:
Yeah, that defense. OK then.
N.Y. Giants at Carolina (3.5). Incorrect.
Wow, and to think I thought the Panthers were Super Bowl contenders.
Oakland at Cincinnati (10.5). Correct.
The Raiders played a few teams tough this year, but I knew this would be a blow-out.
(1.5) Philadelphia at Washington. Correct.
Whew. Won this one by half-a-point.
Tennessee at Houston (1.5). Correct.
I’m glad Vince Young is doing OK this year. I don’t know what his stats are, but his team is playing better, and that’s all that matters.
Green Bay at San Francisco (5.5). Correct.
I have no idea what the Packers’ record is. Huh, 5-8.
(3.5) Seattle at Arizona. Incorrect.
First the Colts finally lose to the Jaguars, now Seattle can’t beat Arizona. Fiddlesticks.
Denver at San Diego (7.5). Incorrect.
Damn San Diego is looking good. Wouldn’t it be funny if the Chargers meet the Saints in the Super Bowl?
(6.5) Chicago at St. Louis. Incorrect.
I thought I made a good selection when I went to bed with the score still close. Then I saw the score the next morning and went “WTF?”
This week’s record: 7-9
Cumulative record: 100-108
Well, if I go perfect in today's games I’ll be at .500 for the season. Sure, why not?
• So I’ve just put in nearly a 12-hour workday here at the office, and what has been on this entire time in the middle of December? Why, the AIR CONDITIONING! Now you may be thinking right now that I’m going to go off on a bitch-fest about how cold it is in building and stuff. Far from it. In fact, I love me a cold work environment. My reasons? Here they are in no particular order.
1) Cold rooms let you know you’re still alive. When I'm in a hotbox for eight hours doing white-collar work, I usually doze off about five to six hours into my day. And if you eat anything remotely filling for lunch, you’ll be snoozing in two hour’s tops.
2) When it’s cold outside, you feel the bite of a breeze whenever someone opens a nearby door, should you be near a building’s entrance or exit. When it’s hot outside, you smell people’s body odor, or, worse yet, feet. Good God does that make me want to throw up my lunch. I guess on the bright side if I throw up my lunch I won’t fall asleep from it later in the day.
3) When it’s hot outside, I’ve noticed that if you’re working in front of a computer you tend to get fatigued more, thus becoming more susceptible to headaches and other fun stuff. With the cold, you have a better chance of not feeling comatosed as your day goes by.
4) You actually have an excuse to use sick days. Snowing outside? Hear about a commuter’s nightmare on the morning news? Fuck that shit. I’m staying home. If you want me to come to work so bad, then pick me up, bitch.
5) When I’m doing the behind-the-desk thing, I like to get up and walk down the hall and back every now and then. When it’s hot I sometimes forget to do this until it’s too late and the eye fatigue kicks in. When it’s cold, getting up to circulate the ol’ blood flow is more likely to occur.
So there you have it. Five good reasons why it’s better to be chilly than sweltering at your workplace. Now granted I prefer sunny weather to snowy conditions, but that’s when I’m not earning my paycheck. Otherwise, crank up the AC.
• So Evan Bayh isn’t going to run for president. I’ll survive. Oddly enough, he is one of those Democrats I don’t mind, much like South Dakota’s one Senator Tim Johnson. However, the Indiana Senator has been moving up on my shit list over the last few years, so maybe after another couple of bad votes I might start saying, “kiss my ass” to him as well. Still, he’s no Hitlery.
• Time has just named “You” its Person of the Year. Nobody better say shit about my Top 103 Posters coutdown now.
Wow. I remember when they changed their title from “Man of the Year” to “Person of the Year.” OMG political correctness. Then, in 2001, instead of choosing “Osama bin Laden,” who, like it or not, made an impact on quite a few lives that year, Time pussied out and went with “Rudy Giulani. Then a couple years ago they had some stupid “Whistleblowers” on; I think they were all chicks, too. With all that being said, I have to say this has to be by far the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard (although those three non-person awardees that the above article cited in its third-to-last paragraph are right up there, too). Well, at least until the next time I read something stupid from the mainstreamliberalpress.
• I told you that Karl Rove was a genius. Getting our hopes all down about Democrats taking charge only to toy with our emotions weeks later by offing a senator under the guise of a medical condition and beginning the eventual takeover of Congress once again.
Actually, I feel for the guy from South Dakota. He seemed to be sane enough for a Democrat. It’s a shame this didn’t happen to, say, a certain Senator from New York. Actually, I wouldn’t have cared if it happened to Hitlery or Schmuck Jewmer. Any you know what? Even if the guy dies and that state’s Republican governor picks one of his own, it’s not really going to matter. Yeah, the Senate will be split, giving Dick Cheney the tie-breaking vote, but so what? It’s the SENATE. It’s Republican-lite. Arlen Specter. Susan Collins. Olympia Snow. How the hell are they in the same party as me? Whatever.
• Wait a second. Is this the chick from the American Pie movies who was the girl who gave all sorts of love advice but never got a dicking of her own? Now I know why.
• Oh no, Judith Regan got canned by Rupert Murdoch.
Like I’m supposed to care. But hey, it’s in red text on Drudge’s Web site, so this must be important.
• So I haven’t watched ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption in a while and decided to tune in. And what do I see? Kommie Kornheiser acting like goddamn pussy because some guy from the Chicago Bears got busted for having an invalid gun permit for a half-dozen firearms in his house. Christ, I thought Tony was going to shit himself regarding this story. What’s the big deal? Brotha’s gotta protect his crib. Then Tony has to remind us all about how much he hates guns and that they’re bad and shit. Normally I bitch about Wilbon during this show, but I have to give Tony an open-handed slap across the face this time.
• Although the critics who say what this mayor did was patronizing, I feel for the poor theater ushers who had to clean up the mess these crazy people probably made while sitting through this movie.
• I was going to make a joke about what ever will black people do now that they’re no longer “king of the mountain,” until I realized that Indian penises were too small for condoms. I bet Asians are feeling mighty good about themselves right about now.
• Eh, I knew someone who beat off into pizzas at his job. No, it wasn’t me. With all the crap jobs I’ve worked over the years, two places I’ll never work are grocery stores and pizza joints. No, I don’t consider myself better than those who bag my groceries or knead my dough. I’m just a lazy bastard.
Actually, this part of the story had me laughing.
Well no shit. But then again, I'm sure there were at least one or two who got turned on by this.
San Francisco at Seattle (9.5)
Normally I’d be going with Seattle, but they really haven’t been blowing out these NFC West teams like they have in the past. Go 49ers.
(3.5) Dallas at Atlanta
The Cowboys got blown out at home on NATIONAL TELEVISION and the Falcons won against the Buccaneers. I’ll stick with the Cowboys.
Cleveland at Baltimore (11.5)
I’m not sure what to do with this one. Sure the Ravens are way better than the Browns, but this is a divisional game. And AFC North rivalry games can be zany. However, the Bengals blew out the Browns a few weeks back, and the Steelers made up for their near-defeat at Cleveland by trouncing them weeks later. Yay Ravens.
Detroit at Green Bay (5.5)
It’ll probably be cold out. Detroit sucks.
Houston at New England (11.5)
Uh oh. The Pats are favored by nearly a dozen points against a crappy team. Now will they continue to struggle or will take their aggressions out against the Texans. I got burned with New England against Detroit. I’ll now side with the Texans in a blow-out game so I can bitch next week that I should have stuck with the Pats.
(3.5) Jacksonville at Tennessee
Uh oh. Another game I don’t have an initial feeling on. I’m in an upset mood: I’ll take the Titans.
Miami at Buffalo (1.5)
Miami shut out New England. I smell let-down game. But Buffalo is favored by only 1.5 at home? I’ll take the Dolphins in a last-second change of picks.
N.Y. Jets at Minnesota (3.5)
I’ve been hoping that the Vikings would be a break-out team this year, but it looks like they are just run-of-the-mill. I don’t know if I should take them because I’m guessing the Jets will flop these last few weeks. Drat. I’ll go with the Jets anyway.
Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants (5.5)
I’m so going with Philly in this one. I don't know why.
(3.5) Pittsburgh at Carolina
How the hell are the Steelers favored? I was going to pick them thinking that the Panthers would be the favored team. Now I don’t know what to do. I go with the Panthers.
Tampa Bay at Chicago (13.5)
I’ll hope the Bucs can score a late-game touchdown to bring the contest to within 13 points.
Washington at New Orleans (9.5)
Washington won a game or two lately, so I’ll hope they can score a late game touchdown to bring the contest to within 9 points.
(2.5) Denver at Arizona
Denver has been off as of late, but are they really that off to only be favored by less than three points? I’ll stick with them anyway.
Kansas City at San Diego (8.5)
Here’s hoping Kansas City can keep it close.
St. Louis at Oakland (2.5)
Oakland is favored? Give me the Rams.
Cincinnati at Indianapolis (3.5)
Hmm. Indy is slumping and Cincy is getting hot. Will this game spell impending doom for the Colts? I’m going to guess Indianapolis wakes up to the call and wins by more than a field goal. This is still the regular season, after all.
