the.weej 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 (edited) The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation Presents... A PAY-PER-VIEW EXTRAVAGANZA! SWF BATTLEGROUND, *LIVE*, SUNDAY, APRIL 25TH, 2004, FROM THE UNIVERSITY ARENA IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO~! FEATURING MUSIC BY TOOL (SCHISM)! (5:00pm PCD, 8:00pm EST; check local listings) WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BOUT SINGLES MATCH Charlie "Grappler" Matthews© vs "The Notorious" John Duran What is there to say, really? A match made in the JL is one that's been built to for almost two months. As it was when he lead the Urban Decay, John Duran feels he's ready to take the belt he was groomed for from the undeserving, inappropriate champion. Though a serious competitor and a man who lives and breathes the business, Grappler is almost the very antithesis of John Duran. Tonight, once and for all, they're going to resolve the question of who's the better the man... and who's the one, true, deserving champion. Let's rock. Rules: Standard singles match. I know! For a PPV main event? Really now. However, the Unnamed--or ANYONE for that matter--have been barred from ringside. If this is gonna' be one-on-one, it's going to be proper one-on-one. Send To: realitycheck LADDER MATCH Ann "Ichiban" Onita vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher Blood is thicker than water. Time heals all things, except time itself. Two cliches define this match, with two very real meanings. The history between Ann Onita and Tom Flesher is deep and documented--they've faced dozens of times, as allies, as enemies... but all those times, Flesher was in command, and control. Ann was striving valiantly to knock Tom off his perch and speed or realize her climb to the top of the mountain. This time... things are different. And this time, perhaps the most precious prize of all hangs in the balance: Ann's own sister, Allison. To quote another cliche... it's all or nothing, this time. Rules: Ladder match. The contract for Allison's managerial services will be suspended about 14 or 15 feet above the ring. First one to pull it down wins. Send To: Thoth LAST MAN STANDING MATCH Nathaniel Kibagami vs Alex Zenon Hate. It's a strong word. It's one of the core human emotions. But very few times has it been so real. Alexander Zenon hates Nathaniel Kibagami every fiber of his being, and he blames him for everything that's gone so wrong in his life since he first left the SWF in mid-2002. It is hard to ignore such passion, doubly so when Alex has the power of the commissioner's office. The irony, perhaps, are the parralel lines. Alex's bitter, vicious hate... is the one so similar to that which tore apart Kibagami as he hunted down Edwin MacPhisto. Alex may or may not realize this, but he probably doesn't care. All that matters is that Kibagami may be gone by the end of this. Come hell or high water, and if it takes down Alex, too. Rules: The man who cannot answer the 10 count when knocked down is the loser. Nothing else matters. Send To: realitycheck (yeah, you should see where we're going, here) ICTV/TAG TEAM/HARDCORE TITLE BOUT TRIPLE QUADRUPLE MATCH Wild & Dangerous© vs The In Crowd vs Aecas and Janus© vs Toxxic© and Liston You know what? Forget the dramatic prose for a minute. There's SO much shit between these eight guys going on here, I can't even begin to explain it all for you. I mean, I probably could, but it'd take about two pages. So I'm just going to say this match is the result of about a million different possible permutations and three titles that I couldn't book properly without double booking about four different people, so you get this menagre. Look at it this way: Though it LOOKS impossible, if you do it well, you may very well have the match of the night. Rules: Three falls rules. First fall is for the ICTV title, second fall is for the HCG title, third fall is for the tag team titles. Man who scores the individual pinfall is the winner of the singles belts. The second fall (HCG title) will be contested under hardcore rules; the other two falls will be standard DQ/countout rules. Four men in the ring at each time, and you may tag out to ANYONE. Partners can face partners. Send To: realitycheck. I summoned the demon, I'll slay it. USJL TITLE BOUT SINGLES MATCH Coy "Wild" West© vs Todd Royal There's a lot of change in the air around Coy, and it's not just the fact he's decided to shower more frequently. He's more seriously, more focused, and more determined than ever. And for the last little while, his sights have been squared on Todd Royal, the man who believes he doesn't JUST have god on his side... he IS god. And with Coy recently recapturing the USJL title, can Royal achieve what he feels is divine right? Rules: Standard singles match. Send To: Suicide King EMPTY ARENA MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs Alan Clark Emptiness. It's a theme Alan Clark has felt the need to reiterate lately. Landon Maddix is... empty. Extinguished. A dead man walking. Clark is boisterous; a man who's fire burns and conviction stays strong. His fire is to defeat Landon Maddix, his conviction is that it has been a long time coming. Clark may not have his cruiserweight title to lay on the line here anymore, but he still has his pride, and his eternal drive to defeat Landon Maddix. And to La Cucaracha, this should be most concerning: After all, it has been a long time since he has been able to accomplish the same feat in reverse. Rules: This match will be contested a day before every other match on the show, and shown as a pre-taped segment. The University Arena will be completely empty except for Landon, Clark and the referee for this match. Send To: 5_moves_of_doom SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs Crow Eddie J has been a little... well, no, a LOT lost lately. The returning Antichrist Superstar hasn't looked so hot, either. They face on teh really big sheeeeeeeeeeew to try and turn things around. Rules: Standard singles match. Send To: Thoth SINGLES MATCH "La Sensation Senegalaise" Said vs Tryst FEINDS BEWARE! That is Tryst's rallying battle cry these days, and what better fiend to start off with than Said and his even more fiendish managers? Tryst has been in a bit of a cold snap lately (including an, um, interesting last match), and could nix that with a triumphant victory over fiendish villains at Battleground! Rules: Standard stuff here. Send To: Suicide King SINGLES MATCH Stryke vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins A random match? Balderdash! There is much storied history between these two, dating back to... and including... also... uh... um... er, look, I just forgot to book Stryke and I forgot that Spike PMed me, okay? These two only have a few certain habbits in common. Rules: Singles match, baybee. Send To: 5_moves_of_doom HARDCORE MATCH Austin Sly vs Insane Luchadore And we kick of Battleground the best way we know how: Screaming! Hey, why mess with a good thing? Relative newbie Austin Sly faces off against the wily veteran "Insane Luchadore" Andrew Rickmen in a good old fashioned passioned ass whuppin' hardcore match. What else is there to say, really? Rules: None. Obviously. Send To: Grand Slam (Send all things to realitycheck.) (Decorum Notes: A WWIish battlefield makes up the entrace way. Shell craters, barbed wire, etc. The entrace itself is actually a trench that the wrestlers come over the top from to walk down a relatively cleared 'path' on the battlefield mockup.) Edited April 20, 2004 by realitycheck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Ho-ly shit. And I thought last years Battleground match was tough to write. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janusd 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 So, so doomed.... Creative Note: All writers for that match, Evil Psycho Janus is in full effect for Battleground. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cuban Linx 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Time to make this the best darn randomly thrown-together singles match with no backstory ever! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Do tagging in and out rules still apply to the HC portion where their are no rules, or is it eightmen in at once for that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 We'll say they apply for that segment, just for the sake of your sanity. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Aecas Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Aya.... Well this ones going to keep me awake at night. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Wait a minute... No, I was right the first time: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 "I gotta put this shit in here" spot count: four, and rising. This could be fun; a trifle overbooked, I think, but it could be fun... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Yeah, I know, that match is overbooked to the MAX. Unfortunately, I was having real problems trying to figure out what do do with everyone in it. To get all those titles spread around, I would've had to either ignore the tag titles completely (which I desperately didn't want to), or double book about three people (which I also desperately didn't want to). Also, please note that I've added theme music and notes about the arena decorum, as Janus reminded me I'd forgotten. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 So...would the decorum be there on Empty Arena Match day, or does it not matter? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 I'd say no, but you could have it half set up or something if you like. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Old school bitches... old school. Perpare for... HAMMMMMMMERLOCKS! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieEclectic 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 holy jesus fucking christ, Z. Those poor eight bastards are going to explode. I'm going to have fun reading the bloody leftovers Meanwhile... my own match. It's go time, uh, again. -Annie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Explode? Shit, this kind of match is right up my alley. My only concern is whether or not I should make myself a triple champ, or spread some of the gold around. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rawknight 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 I know everyone reads this thread, so if you people don't go comment on my 2K comedy match on the losing match thread i'm going to fill your nasal cavities with ground jalapeno chilli peppers. Good Card Z. I'm looking forward to facing Tryst again, cos the Tryst vs Va'aiga Ladder Match is my favourite JL match. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edwin MacPhisto 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2004 Z, you're fucking nuts. I love that match. Whatever happens in that match will be enough to keep some storylines among a few of those wrestlers going for another month after the fact. Nice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goose749 Report post Posted April 21, 2004 well... this is going to be... fun... *whimper* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted April 21, 2004 (edited) I wrote another song for this PPV... its just as bad as every other song I've ever written but its shorter. PS: I think it would be bad ass to put Funyon in some glittery camoflague for the ring announcements so I did that and thought that it might be cool if we all sort of agreed to put him in something consistant... maybe he needs an army helmet... with glitter! Edited April 21, 2004 by Goodear Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted April 21, 2004 Consider him glittered, Coy. Incidently, I'll just put this here - from the beginning of my match to the bell it's 2460 words. Yes, to the FIRST bell. I've written almost as many words as i did for my debut match on the fucking ENTRANCES. I'm thinking this may break 20K. I'm thinking my life may need life-support. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ill One 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 Isn't it incredibly ironic that I (no bullshit) just got back from the mental ward of the hospital after a mental snap (yeah, four days over night). So now I've been purged of my insanity in real life I get to take it aaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll out on Sly. Dace, pretty please pass the weed whacker. Seriously though, nice card but damn that triple fall match is ca-razy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 Incidently, I'll just put this here - from the beginning of my match to the bell it's 2460 words. Yes, to the FIRST bell. I've written almost as many words as i did for my debut match on the fucking ENTRANCES. Sorry, but...what's the point? I mean, I know it's PPV, but you don't have to get that crazy. Actually, maybe I should do that. Hmm...let's see how I could describe a vertical suplex: Matthews wraps his sweaty, bulging hunk of meat (by that I mean his arm) over the top of Duran's sweaty, messy, black mop of a head. He flexes his arm, keeping the tight hold also known as a front facelock applied to the Notorious One. After a holler from the crowd (persumably from section 28C as the woman in seat 34 just flashed her size 34C breasts to the live audience in New Mexico), Matthews reaches down with his other long, muscular, veiny appendage and clenches his fist around the waistband of Duran's black wrestling tights. 'I've always wondered,' Matthews thought to himself, 'does Duran wear a cup, or is that bulge natural? Would he notice if I pulled his waistband a little farther?' However, Grappler goes with option A, which is simply pulling UP on John's waist and using all of his strength to hoist his nemesis vertically into the air, upside down. The blood RUSHED to Duran's head, and this tingly sensation made him chuckle. 'Did he read my mind?' Matthews thought, nervously, 'I mean, I'm never conspicuous; I always shower alone.' Charlie holds Duran in this position, milking the reaction from the New Mexico crowd for all its worth. 'Kick his ass, Grappler!' the champion heard one of his many fans scream, and he had to smile. It was good having people adore you. But he didn't adore Duran...he despised him. With that, Matthews shifted his weight to the balls of his feet, slowly falling backwards and bringing Duran down with him. As the two men, at a combined weight of about 600 pounds, came sailing down, the fans held their collective breath, expecting the ring to SHATTER in TWO! *BOOM!* Duran and Matthews hit the canvas. The ring isn't broken, but Duran's spirit may be. Charlie again smiles; this is going exactly how he wanted it to. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 damn. Not sure if that beats those 1100 word headlocks though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 .... That's hilarious! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 Sorry, but...what's the point? I mean, I know it's PPV, but you don't have to get that crazy. Actually, maybe I should do that. Hmm...let's see how I could describe a vertical suplex: Matthews wraps his sweaty, bulging hunk of meat (by that I mean his arm) over the top of Duran's sweaty, messy, black mop of a head. He flexes his arm, keeping the tight hold also known as a front facelock applied to the Notorious One. After a holler from the crowd (persumably from section 28C as the woman in seat 34 just flashed her size 34C breasts to the live audience in New Mexico), Matthews reaches down with his other long, muscular, veiny appendage and clenches his fist around the waistband of Duran's black wrestling tights. 'I've always wondered,' Matthews thought to himself, 'does Duran wear a cup, or is that bulge natural? Would he notice if I pulled his waistband a little farther?' However, Grappler goes with option A, which is simply pulling UP on John's waist and using all of his strength to hoist his nemesis vertically into the air, upside down. The blood RUSHED to Duran's head, and this tingly sensation made him chuckle. 'Did he read my mind?' Matthews thought, nervously, 'I mean, I'm never conspicuous; I always shower alone.' Charlie holds Duran in this position, milking the reaction from the New Mexico crowd for all its worth. 'Kick his ass, Grappler!' the champion heard one of his many fans scream, and he had to smile. It was good having people adore you. But he didn't adore Duran...he despised him. With that, Matthews shifted his weight to the balls of his feet, slowly falling backwards and bringing Duran down with him. As the two men, at a combined weight of about 600 pounds, came sailing down, the fans held their collective breath, expecting the ring to SHATTER in TWO! *BOOM!* Duran and Matthews hit the canvas. The ring isn't broken, but Duran's spirit may be. Charlie again smiles; this is going exactly how he wanted it to. You DO know he's in an eight-man event, right? That's a perfectly reasonable - lean, even - average of about 300 words per person, not even including the commentary banter. And I quoted your suplex for posterity. I once wrote a 750-word abdominal stretch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ill One 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 Phft, Renegade wrote a 350 word punch just about every match. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rawknight 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 i've broken 1K with a headlock. or course that DOES include plenty of killing time banter between the commentators - they talk more during holds in my matcehs to timespace right Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crowe 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 *cracks knuckles* Prepare to feel the wrath of the gothic warrior, Flik. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lightning Flik 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 *cracks knuckles* Prepare to feel the wrath of the gothic warrior, Flik. Fine, sure... I'll feel your wrath. That's all good and stuff. Just wait till Sunday, ok? Then let us at it and we'll find out for sure. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crowe 0 Report post Posted April 22, 2004 Oh, I'm waiting until Sunday, hence why I said for you to prepare to feel the wrath. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
