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Lt. Al Giardello

Best Wrestling Quotes...

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"Brian Pillman you better give your soul to the lord, cause your ass belongs to Stone Cold Steve Austin" - Austin in April 97

 

"You know I'm screwed at Summerslam cause if I lose well then I'm done in the WWF. But if Shawn screws up he gets to take a few months off to look for his smile again." - Bret before Slam 97

 

Hogan's entire BATB 96 promo which, in my opinion, is the best promo ever.

 

Those are just off the top of my head.

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Big Show: "Why is it he gets the title shot and I don't?"

RVD: "Because you're a tool?"

Big Show: "I'm seven feet tall. I'm 500 pounds. I am a giant."

RVD: "OK. You're a giant tool."

 

Not in the old school time frame, but all I could think of off the top of my head.

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"You know I'm screwed at Summerslam cause if I lose well then I'm done in the WWF. But if Shawn screws up he gets to take a few months off to look for his smile again." - Bret before Slam 97

Ouch. And another predicting quote...

 

Roddy Piper at WMXII to Shawn & Bret: "You two shake hands, because after this is done, you two will be hating each other."

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Guest TheZsaszHorsemen

"Diamonds are forever, WHOO, and so's Ric Flair!"

 

"ORTON! SLATER! YOU WILL GO TO YOUR GRAVES BECAUSE OF ME? DO YOU HEAR ME? *WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN!*"

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"What're you looking at you little bastard? The Sandman's not even your real dad!" - Steve Corino to the Sandman's son

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"If you're watching TV right now, I am your champion.

If you like to sit at home and stuff potato chips down your mouth while watching the boob tube, I am your champion.

If you're married to the remote control, you're married to Chris Jericho

And if you like to channel surf, you're surfing w/ me. Hang Ten Daddio!!!"

 

--- TV Champion Chris Jericho explaining why the TV Title is more valuable than the WCW Championship.

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From Capital Combat 90, between JYD and Jim Cornette:

 

JC: "Where have YOU been all this time?"

 

JYD: "Where have I been? I've been at 845 Deeberry Street, in Louisville, Kentucky. You know where that is?"

 

JC: (Pauses) "That's my mother's house!!!"

 

JYD: "That's what I'm sayin'! I'm yo daddy!"

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A couple from Jim Cornette:

 

 

"I've been working out. I've done push-ups, I've done sit-ups, I've done chin-ups, I threw up twice but I'm OK now..."

 

 

"They call Dusty's sister Federal Express because everytime she goes out on a date, she absolutely positively has to be there overnight."

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Rob Van Dam putting himself & Kane over...

 

"Dude...we're going to be the next World Tag Team Champions. I'm Rob Van Dam, I've got the Split-Legged Moonsault, the Rolling Thunder....you've got THE CHOKESLAM...I've got the Five-Star Frogplash, the Van-Daminator...and you've got...THE CHOKESLAM!"

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Rob Van Dam putting himself & Kane over...

 

"Dude...we're going to be the next World Tag Team Champions.  I'm Rob Van Dam, I've got the Split-Legged Moonsault, the Rolling Thunder....you've got THE CHOKESLAM...I've got the Five-Star Frogplash, the Van-Daminator...and you've got...THE CHOKESLAM!"

*Laughs* Its pretty bad when your moveset is more limited then RVD's WWE move set.

 

 

Not exactly a quote but i remember when Austin had his title shot in ECW Sign-guy Dudley I remember Sign-Guy Dudley having a sign that said something along the lines of "STEVE AUSTIN-THE FUTURE OF WRESTLING"

 

At the time I thought it was pretty funny. Now I know that he could just see the future!

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Christian - Look on the bright side, Kurt! They won't be chanting you suck anymore!

Kurt - Yeah!!!..

Christian - They'll be chanting *singing voice* Your Bald! Your Bald!

 

Lol, Loved that one.

 

Hurricane had some memorable quotes during the Rock/Hurricane thing.

 

Roddy Piper's WHOLE WM 8 promo was filled with memorable quotes.

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Both from the same match:

 

Schiavone: "Head first into the COMMODE!"

 

later...

 

Dusty: "There's a lady...there's a lady in tha men's bathroom!"

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Rock (to Hurricane): "Let The Rock remind you of something. You ain't nothing! You ain't nothing. You ain't no superhero! Not like the Scorpion King. You're 100 pounds of nothing! Five feet nothing! Oh, excuse The Rock one second! Excuse The Rock! His cell phone's goin' off! *takes invisible cellphone out of his pocket* Oh yeah. Ka-kow! Hello? Hey, it's nothing! He says he knows you!"

 

"And--as a superhero *chuckles* --you've got braces! *laughs* You've got braces! What are you, the president of student council?"

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Guest ally mccoist
Another RVD one, from ECW.

 

"The real question is: After Sabu wins the ECW World Title; how will Rob Van Dam be able to carry all five belts, and his partner too?"

I loved how RVD would be like "Sabu with his....err...(looks at Sabus belt and reads the letters on it)....er F..T..W belt...".

 

Another ECW quote during a CW Anderson/Dreamer match:

 

Anderson hits Dreamer with a chair or something...

-Styles: Damn!

-Cyrus: I can't believe how biased you are Joey Styles....(goes off into long tirade about how Styles always roots for guys like Dreamer)

Few seconds later Dreamer hits CW with something...

-Cyrus: Damn!

 

And an Angle one, talking about Kane here:

 

Angle: To quote the popular singer Shakira...

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: Whenever, wherever

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: What you people never heard of Shakira before?

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: What you're not hip like me?

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: Thats because you're from Texas.

Crowd: WHA....BOOOOOOOOOO

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Angle: To quote the popular singer Shakira...

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: Whenever, wherever

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: What you people never heard of Shakira before?

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: What you're not hip like me?

Crowd: WHAT?

Angle: Thats because you're from Texas.

Crowd: WHA....BOOOOOOOOOO

That's awesome......

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From Great American Bash 1995

 

Schiavone and Hennan commentating on Sg. Craig Pittman and his Free For All Match (before PPV) against Scott D'Amore.

 

Schiavone - That is just going to far. He broke his arm, there's no room for that in this sport.

Hennan - Oh shutup.. he's got another arm!

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"The only reason anybody bought your book in the first place is they were hoping you would die at the end of it!" Jericho to Mick Foley

 

 

Sorry, but that one always gets me. I don't even know from exactly the time period, but dang, that's funny.

 

"For my entire life, I've been denied - but I WILL not deny myself. I've torn ligaments, shattered bones, broken my neck, but those aren't the scars that feed my anger and fuel my rage. Keep your praise, your music videos, your cliches - they mean NOTHING. The pain, the anguish and the torture I go through was hell - and for my enemies... now it's your turn. I was born to hurt, and you will FEEL MY PAIN."

-Chris Benoit

 

Intense.

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"My image is tarnished just stepping into the ring with a piece of crap like you." - Jericho, to Godfather

 

"This kid is so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test." - Corny, about Scott Putski

 

"An inspiration to millions of women, children and idiots across the nation." - Jericho, about Chyna

 

"Maybe you should kiss my ass." - Tazz, to Josh Matthews

 

"I’d be jealous too, if my cousin was Saturday morning cartoon superstar Elroy Jetson." - Jericho, about the late Crash Holly

 

"They ought to call you 'Dumb Ass Billy Gunn'." - Austin, to Billy Gunn (duh!)

 

"The Acolytes' forte is a no-holds barred match. You know why? They don't know any holds." - Kevin Kelly

 

"I know you're comfortable in the men's locker room, but don't you ever knock?" Chris Jericho, to Stephanie

 

"You’ll have to hold on. I just popped in an Al Snow's Greatest Hits video, and I want to watch the whole thing. Okay, it's over now." - Mick Foley

 

"We welcome all the WWF superstars...and Al Snow."

 

“I haven’t seen a redneck drive that fast since they took Dukes of Hazzard off the air.” X-Pac, about Steve Austin

 

"In true rock star fashion, I had insomnia last night and I didn't sleep at all. So all I need is a bottle of Jack Daniels and some groupies, and I'll be just like David Lee Roth." - Jericho

 

Jericho: What happened before was a disgrace, but it'll be ok. It gives you more of a reason to beat the hell out of Edge. And it gives both of us the reason to destroy HHH and has-been Hogan. I can't wait to see you put HHH in the ankle lock, suck the life out of him and make him tap.

Angle: What did you just say?

Jericho: You're gonna put him in the ankle lock?

Angle: No after that.

Jericho: You're gonna make him tap?

Angle: No, before that.

Jericho: You suck the life out of him?

Angle: Don't say that!!

Jericho: You suck?

Angle: I don't suck...

*the crowd chants "you suck!"*

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"This kid is so dumb, he stayed up all night studying for a urine test." - Corny, about Scott Putski

OUCH.

 

Not only does that insult Scott Putski's intelligence, that makes fun of his rampant steroid use as well.

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Cornette about The Samoan Savage: "This guy is so ugly he has to ambush breakfast!"

 

 

Mankind: "I'd like to congratulate Al Snow on signing his new endorsement deal with La-Z-Boy. And that's unusual, because Al doesn't usually sell chairs."

 

 

Roddy Piper at WrestleMania 2: "If Mr. T can knock me out, I will not only quit professional boxing; I will quite professional wrestling, I will quit Tiddly Winks. I will quit dating girls! [putting an arm around Bob Orton Jr.] I'd stick with you though."

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Guest Staravenger
Christian - Look on the bright side, Kurt! They won't be chanting you suck anymore!

Kurt - Yeah!!!..

Christian - They'll be chanting *singing voice* Your Bald! Your Bald!

 

Lol, Loved that one.

 

Hurricane had some memorable quotes during the Rock/Hurricane thing.

 

Roddy Piper's WHOLE WM 8 promo was filled with memorable quotes.

When the hell did Christian insult Angle?! (looks for tape) All praise Chrtistian!

 

Let's not forget about Mark Henry's "Stink".

 

HHH: Hello? Hello? Hello? I didn't know Goldberg made microphones, because they don't work either.

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Guest Askewniverse

Kurt Angle (to Funaki, shortly after winning KOTR): "I'm your king, which is the equivalent of your emperor or head ninja."

 

Bret Hart: "If you were going to give the United States an enema, you'd stick the hose right here in Pittsburgh!"

 

Steve Austin: "If you put the letter S in front of Hit Man, you've got my exact opinion on Bret Hart."

 

Tazz (to Jim Ross): "I'd slap you, but I see God already beat me to it."

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