JHawk 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2005 After Christopher Nowinski not so subtly said he was going to take Molly Holly's virginity by busting through her hymen: Lawler: "What's a hymen, JR?" JR: "Oh, you of all people don't know what a hymen is, King!" Lawler: "Isn't that the move they use to stop someone from choking?" A few minutes later, after Nowinski is crotched on the turnbuckle: Lawler: "Right on his hymen!" JR: "You're getting closer, King." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Prof_Plague Report post Posted January 11, 2005 During the Jericho/Malenko feud in WCW (1998?), Jericho: "Malenko might be the Man of a 1001 Holds, but I'm a Man of 1002 Holds! :pulls out a sheet of paper.: Arm bar. Leg Lock. Boston Crab. Arm bar. (A few holds later...) Arm bar. (A few more later...) Arm bar." And then lead to a commercial break as he kept reading this list to the audience. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Prof_Plague Report post Posted January 11, 2005 Before 'Death Before Dishonor' July 2003, Colt Cabana: "People come-up to me and say, 'Colt Cabana, you're a funny guy. Colt Cabana, you make me laugh. Colt Cabana, you remind me of a modern-day Dave Gouliet. Well, thank you. But there's another side to Colt Cabana. I have feelings! I have emotions! ...I cried during 'My Girl'! I'll admit it! :As he bites his fist and jerks back a tear.:" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CBright7831 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2005 You know, the Invasion was botched as a whole, but we got some gold promos/skits during that time from Austin, Angle, RVD, Heyman, and Jim Ross. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted January 11, 2005 Fuckin' Hogan. That was easy as shit. -Shane Douglas after ripping his shirt. I'm out in the ring, Shawn Michaels turns to me and says, 'Hey, I got a couple of vertebrae out. Would you mind puttin 'em in with that chair?' He turns his back, I whack him and all of a sudden I'm a bad guy. -Kevin Nash Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DMann2003 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2005 SNME May 1989 Mean Gene- You broke every rule in the book The Brain- Wrong! We didn't break rule #1 Mean Gene- Rule #1, what's that? Ravishing Rick Rude- Win baby, just win. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Some Guy 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2005 These are paraphrased. Rick Rude on ECW TV: Will Mahoney beat the Sandman or will the Sandman lick Ballz? Austin on Raw in 97: One of these days Bret, I'll be walking through the cemetary and see your grave. And it will say "here lies Bret "The Hitman" Hart, the biggest piece of trash who ever lived. And he lies here today because Steve Austin whipped his pink and black ass" and that's the bottomline because Stone Cold said so! Austin to Faarooq on Raw in late 97: It's not a white thing, it's not a black thing, it's a me kicking your ass thing! Austin to Rock before WM 17: I roll down Know Your Role Blvd. make that turn on to Jabronie Drive, check into the Smackdown Hotel and then spead up Route 3:16 and burn that son of a bitch to the ground! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Askewniverse Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Jim Ross: "He swung that chair like Mark Maguire swings a baseball bat!" Jim Ross (moments later): "Why don't we ever talk about Sammy Sosa?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Kinda fits...SK posted a link to CM Punk's LiveJournal that had this gem in it: This past 4th of July was spent at Lake of the Ozarks with myself, Ace Steel, and of course the legendary Harley Race. We spent all day on the Lake in his boat and a lot of the day was like that commercial for 'Girls Gone Wild'. Random strangers showing me their boobies (there ya go shelley!), and me just throwing water ballons at them. Late that night, back at Harleys house, we all ate some great BBQ and Harley had about a million billion martinis I think it was. He had these little pickled green beans he'd put in them....anyway....he drank a LOT. Which is no surprise, he's Harley Fucking Race. And yes, I just capitilized the 'F' in fucking. Ace is pretty tanked too, to set the scene...i'm just stuffed with BBQ, when this hilarious conversation ensues. Harley gets to telling stories, which on another side note is some of the best times i've ever had in my life. Just having the privilege to sit and listen to Harely talk about his career on numerous occasions has been really rewarding. He was talking about his run in the WWF, the reason he was brought in, and more importantly who he was working at the time. The conversation went exactly like this: Harley: "...and he had me working Hogan, JYD, and one of my last programs was with....shit. What's his name? The guy. You know. Big guy....c'mon, you know! That faggot Indian." Now...I bust out laughing and Ace and I just look at each other while Harely is scrunching up his face trying to remember who he is talking about. I start throwing out names, but none of them really make any sense. I mean....Wahoo never worked in the WWF, and certainly if he did, Harely wouldn't call him "that faggot Indian". Tatanka, who Ace proudly proclaimed was who Harely must've been talking about. Certainly you all know Tatanka, while having wrestled in the WWF, it was years after Harely had already retired. So i'm sitting there, and Harely is literally scratching his head and Ace is clueless...and I really don't have any clue either. So I think..."faggot indian"...and I blurt out: Punk: "The Ultimate Warrior?" Harley: "YES! That fucking GOOF!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Epic Reine 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Jeff Jarrett to DDP on a recent Impact: "DDP, you want to feel a bang? Oh you're gonna feel a bang alright, I'm gonna bang you right back into retirement!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mecha Mummy 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 "Whoooooooooo has a called me H-A-G-E?" ~ Genki Horiguchi, Toryumon (Explanation; "Hage" means "bald" in Japanese, and Genki had a major receding hairline.) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CBright7831 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Damn, I don't have the transcript but how about Hogan at WM 9? "I look in the eyes of Bret, and I know that the title is coming back to America brother!" "That jap..." Refering to Yoko. So a match between a Canadian and a Japanese would result in the title going to the States? What the hell kind of globe did Hogan have? Not to mention the crowd at WM9 were chanting "USA...USA" during the match. Heenan, commented on it, I believe. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Tajiri and Christian are arguing over who loves Vince the most, to get his endorsement for Taboo Tuesday. It soon becomes a "Who can hug Vince the best" contest. Vince: Alright, now you're just acting like children! Christian: Children, who I believe, are the future! Vince: Would you shut the hell up!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special K 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2005 Speaking of Japanese quotes, Jericho had quite the pottymouth over there. 95' Super J Cup, Benoit v Jericho (awesome match, BTW) Jericho: *slaps Benoit* COME ON MOTHERFUCKER! Crowd: OOOooooh! Benoit: *Slaps the living shit out of Jericho, nearly legit knocking him out, according to Jericho's website* Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Some televised Hardcore match, Snow v Road Dogg, Al snow does his patented and corny bowling ball roll to opponent's nuts in the corner. Road Dogg does this hilarious selling job, spazzing out in the corner. He sticks his head out of the ring, right up to the camera and says: Dogg: Ow, my b.. my b.. Ow Lawler: Don't say it Road Dogg! Dogg: Ow, my balls. Funny becauseof the timing (Dogg says it RIGHT after Lawler's line) and the fact that Dogg's overselling it so much, it looks like he's laughing. Also gotta plug the 5 times a match when the Japanese commentator doesn't scream the name of a move, he just screams for 3 seconds THEN calls out a move. It would be great if Ross would do that once. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Stunner! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2005 "The only reason people bought your book is because they were hoping you would die at the end of it." Chris Jericho, to Mick Foley Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2005 Tony Schiavone, after Bret Hart sprays "NWO" on Roddy Piper "My God, that's the letters of the NWO!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Epic Reine 0 Report post Posted January 14, 2005 Here's a funny one from Heat during the summer of 2000: Chyna: "I think someone should face Val Venis tonight for the Intercontinental title, someone like a former Intercontinental champion." Mick Foley: "Tito Santana?" Chyna: "Uh...someone more feminine" Mick Foley: "Pat Patterson?" Chyna: "Uh...someone MUCH cuter" Mick Foley: "Oh...YOU! Yea, I'll make that match for tonight" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted February 8, 2005 "There's no telling what's in Fuji's tights!" Vince McMahon, during a match on the History of the WWF championship tape Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LessonInMachismo 0 Report post Posted February 8, 2005 Mick: Hey, doesn't that Lita chick look great?! Edge (with Christian): From a DISTANCE. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vern Gagne 0 Report post Posted February 8, 2005 Not has much a quote but Hogan's spiel at WM V about Donald Trump getting on the Hulkster back because the MegaPowers were colliding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JMFabiano524 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 More Steinerisms please! Should I hate Russo more because his handling of WCW made me miss out on those gems????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deancoles 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 One of my favourites from SNME. Mean Gene on the Hart Foundation: "If there are sicker men in this sport I love I don't know who they may be" From Wrestling Challenge before WM 4 Bobby Heenan On his relationship with Vanna White: "We were walking down the street, arm-in-arm, when an old lady came up to us and said 'Who is that stunner on your arm?' I was just about to reply, when Vanna jumped in and said 'This is the Brain, Bobby Heenan." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Tony Schiavone, after Bret Hart sprays "NWO" on Roddy Piper "My God, that's the letters of the NWO!" This is one of my favorites. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Royal Rumble 88. Jesse Ventura is trying to call a match when... McMahon: "Wait a minute, Jesse. Look at Tama's toes." Ventura: "What about them?" McMahon: "The man could hang upset down from the top rope." Vince goes back to trying to call the match, but this time it's Ventura who chimes in. Ventura: "Going back a second, McMahon. I find that to be a racist comment." McMahon: "Not at all. I'm simply trying to describe the man's toes." Ventura: "You know, if Jimmy the Greek can be replaced, McMahon, so can you." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JMFabiano524 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 As for the OTE '98 introductions, I think that should be ANNE Murray, not Ed Murray.... P.S. Steinerisms! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Trivia247 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 First the reason why Jesse Ventura did a shout out to Terry Tyrel jade and one time Jaramia is because they are his family (Wife & Kids) Now I use to know some decent ones, may have to come back later. Wm6 Gene: What gives you the Ba-- the Nerve to Smack Andre Heenan: I'll tell you what gave me the ba-- (in ECW 95 with Stevie Richards making out with at the time a young innocent looking Francine) Joey Styles: I'll be Damned Stevie Likes Girls! At WM7 Heenan: Later on The Undertaker might have another customer, He won't need a coffin, he'll probably need a great big Trash bag for the Big Bossman. in ECW during a Cactus Jack vs Sandman last man Standing Match.. Styles: There is another guy who is known to absorb alot of Punishment and always keep getting up, But unfortunately he would be too scared to come down and face someone like the Sandman. From the WWF/AJPW Summit 1990 ( I have the Japanese version) Only thing in english I recognized JUMBO KNEEEE AT THE TOKYO DOME!!!!! After Jumbo hits his Knee on Rick martel Wm5 During a long sequence of Double teaming by the Rockers on the Twin Towers Jesse Ventura: This is an Atrocacity! During WM2 during the Funk brothers vs Santana & JYD Elvira: Thats too bad too Like those tall dark fellas. Jesse: Now wait a minute your at the table your suppose to be Unbias Elvira: Oh no I also like those Tall white and blonde guys like you jesse. Wm8 Heenan: and look at santana greeting his Sister. Gorilla: She is Not his Sister! Heenan: I thought you said her name was Arriba? Still at wm8 Heenan: You know im Indiana's favorite Bobby.... Gorilla: You couldn't carry Bobby Knight's Towel! Heenan: Who? Gorilla: Yeah Who... Heenan: I could have gotten a win with that High School Basketball team. Still at Wm8 Heenan: I remember when I was Champion. Gorilla: OF WHAT? Heenan: Of the Neighborhood.. Gorilla: Oh? Still at Wm8 after Ric Flair Lost.. Heenan: Things are under control. Gorilla: Your a Liar! Heenan: Im his Financial Advisor... Gorilla: You`re a Liar! Heenan: Im a Broadcast Journalist Gorilla: Your a Liar! Heenan: Im just sitting here trying to report the facts.. Gorilla: YOUR a LIAR! Heenan: and if you don't like it, you know what you can do with it! Gorilla: Don't jump, its a Long way down.. Heenan: PUT EM UP! Gorilla: The Brain has Lost it folks! Royal Rumble, during the Jumping Bomb Angels vs the Glamour Girls match. Jesse: Do you know the names of the Bomb Angels. Vince: Uh I don't think so uhh Why? Jesse: Well I might want a Date with one of them later, what do I call her a Bomb Angel. Vince: Well I don't have that information,for now lets call the one in the ring Red (because of the tights) and the other Pink I suppose. Jesse: Thats brillant Vince.... At NWO when the nWo appeared.... Scott Hall said something in front of the rock. Rock: What did you say Chico? After St Valentines Day Massacre... Vince McMahon introduces the Corporation to the Big Show... Rock: Who...is this...Roody Poo? During the Heyman Commentary era with the WWF... Dudleys set up the Dooms Day Device Heyman: Ohhh What a Rush! RVD challenging Christian for the Euro Title and Christian Testing him. Christian: What is the Capital of Belgum? RVD: Waffles! At Survivor Series 2001 During the final match and the Alliance get the upper hand and heyman just getting all over JR's case.... (Which he does most of the night) JR: Well Damn lets just Go ahead and Start a ECW Chant! (classic) WM7 during the Virgil v Dibiasi match heenan: He got more steps than the temptations.. then later when Virgil is down. Heenan: Come on virgil get out the broom, get out the dust mop and the Dust pail, do what you do best, Clean Dibiasi's House. at WM9 When Hulk Hogan came out and people saw his face. Heenan: Looks like Hogan got himself a Boo-Boo Heyman and JR discussing the Location of Dudley Ville Heyman: They come from Dudleyville you know.. JR: That is just outside Parts unknown right? (Not really a commentator quote but something that caught me funny) when the roster was suspicious that HHH was behind the Phoney Hospital call about the Undertaker's wife. They walk in and everyone glares and ignores him and Stephanie.... they walk by haku who was in Supreme Afro Puff Mode.. Stephanie: Hi Haku.... Nice....uhh hair? Im sure there are tons more i'd remember later Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 I may have already posted this but whatever . . . WMVIII Heenan: Myself, Jimmy Hart, the Nasty Boys, and Sensational Sherri are all gonna be on Family Feud squaring off against the stars of the WBF. That's Family Feud all next week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm gonna win all the money. Monsoon: Oh BOY! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericholic82 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 last night on smackdown when JBL was talking to godzilla He eats.....pizza Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 ECW Hardcore TV, Stevie Richards debuts his half-length shirt and shorts combo. Styles- I get it...you look like him (Raven). Richards- That's right! Styles- Are you familiar with the Village People? ...nevermind. Wrestlemania IV Heenan (to Bob Ueker)- You recieved 7,000 votes to get into the Hall Of Fame. You'd have gotten a lot more, but you ran out of stamps. IWA:MS Ted Petty Invitational 2004, 7 Man Elimination Match Fannin- Why are there so many guys in the damn ring? Stone- Since when did we do Royal Rumbles? Candido- This is a $10,000 battle royal isn't it Jim? Fannin- This is ridiculous. Candido- It's professional wrestling, it was ridiculous to begin with! It's a bunch of grown men wearing women's swimsuits. *Candido says something about the first two introduced, but is silent for the next* Stone- Wait, why didn't you say something good about Alex Shelley? Fannin- Alex Shelley..great technical wrestler. Candido- Yeah, but he's no this guy right here. *during one of the faster periods in the match* Candido- There's..another ridiculous spot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2005 "I already spotted something that is really, you know, when you're sitting here and you're taking a look at two great athletes and you're looking at which will maybe come out into really show his own colors, if you will, there were situations that's already happening, if you noticed them, we all looked at them, to where the crowd spontaneously was talking about Eddie, and Konnan with a sarcastic way about him just a little bit, and all I'm saying is as we watch this thing read into it a little bit, see where Konnan's at and see if that sarcasm is really part of his inner workings because I know what kind of a guy Eddie Guerrero is, he's a good man, a whole man, did I shock you with that, did you see that?" --Dusty Rhodes at Uncensored 1996 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
