the.weej 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 (edited) The Smartmarks' Wrestling Federation Presents... SWF LOCKDOWN! LIVE, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9TH FROM THE SOLD OUT GUND ARENA IN CLEVELAND, OHIO! (5PM PCT, 8PM EST; check local listings) Card: MAIN EVENT LUMBERJACK MATCH Sacred© vs Alan Clark (LUMBERJACKS: Mak Francis, Toxxic) No rest for the wicked. The two-time, two-time World Champion and longest-serving SWF member Sacred prevailed at Clusterfuck over Mak Francis, retaining his world championship belt. But now, a SHADOW looms over him, having been seperated from his former stable and the only light at the end of the tunnel being the shine on Landon Maddix's belts, as he eagerly awaits to cash in his Clusterfuck victory for a shot at the biggest belt in the federation. Fortunately for the weary World Champion, the only thing he needs to worry about tonight is a clean match against an eager opponent... and the two men at ringside who are going to make sure it stays that way. Rules: Standard singles match... but if Sacred or Alan fall to the outside of the ring, Toxxic and Mak are free to do whatever they please. The two lumberjacks may not interfere with the match so long as it remains in the ring. Mak and Toxxic can write matches of their own if they so desire. Sacred's world title is not on the line here. Word Limit: 5750 Send To: Ace309 TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Wild and Dangerous© vs Royal Order What can I say, I love tag matches and I desperately wanted to see the titles defended on any one-off show that I'm booking. Wild and Dangerous are difinitive champions, but Royal Order... well, I'm not so sure, but they've got a pretty cool name. There's no need for contenderships tonight! Rules: Standard tag team match. Remember the tag ropes. Word Limit: 5000 Send To: Justice MALL BRAWL VI USJL TITLE BOUT Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Sean Davis vs Austin Sly vs Carnage vs Ebony Maddix said he wanted a goofy cuckoo match for the USJL belt, and well, ask and you shall recieve. The original cool! The new hotness! The best gimmick match across seven different e-feds! The vaunted Mall Brawl makes its glorious return as I make an inglorious departure, as four men and one huge goddamn furry thing DO BIG BATTEL across a hundred store shopping paradise! Why the hell is she here? Because I deem it so! Crass-commercialism meets crushing blows to the head! WHO'S CUSINE SHALL REIGN SUPREME? Rules: The Mall Brawl should require no introduction, but I shall provide it anyway, just in case. The five participants are set loose on a shopping centre full of evening patrons, seeking out a red balloon with a gold ticket inside. The balloon can be anywhere inside the vacinity of the mall, but will not LEAVE the mall. The ticket inside proclaims whoever takes hold of it as the new SWF USJL champion. Maddix's ICTV belt is NOT on the line. Tower City Center in downtown Cleveland is the venue, if you want to look up floorplans or whatever. Word Limit: 6000 Send To: chirs3 NO GRAVITY MATCH CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT Spike Jenkins© vs Manson Honestly, I was pretty much just told to book this match. I'm sure I could write better descriptions if I had a goddamned clue what's been going on the last couple of months, but I guess I can improvise... Manson is an evil celtic dancer with disturbingly tight shorts, having channeled the awesome power of MANSONOSITY into his fleet-footed moves and unbridled passion for the floor. His evil is unequivocal. Spike is a lovable crossdressing New York bohemian with a heart of gold thighs of thunder. Did I hit it close to the mark? Oh well. They go for the CW title here regardless. Rules: The first man to do five non-consecuitive moves from the top rope onto his opponent is the victor. Springboards and slingshots do not count towards this total. Word Limit: 4500 Send To: Chuck Woolery HARDCORE TITLE MATCH "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez© vs Danny Dagda No matter how long I'm gone, I think it's safe to say there's always going to be one sure thing abou the SWF: Any of IL's characters are always, ALWAYS up for a hardcore match. Rules: Um, hello? Word Limit: 4500 Send To: 5_moves_of_doom SINGLES MATCH "The Critic" Scott Pretzler vs Kaine Nooblet! Veteran! YOU LOVE IT! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4000 Send To: Chuck Woolery (Send all stuff to Ace309) Edited February 5, 2005 by realitycheck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Ill One 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 That's a very joygasmic card, for very many reasons. Good luck to all and here's hoping to all of us showing! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 SINGLES MATCH "The Critic" Scott Pretzler vs Kaine Nooblet! Veteran! YOU LOVE IT! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 400 Send To: Chuck Woolery That's going to be a hell of a short match there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Justice 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Uh, it be "Justice" now, Zed. You might have a little older list there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Nobody really updates the roster list with the markers and everything in CC. That's... that's no so different from how I did it, actually. Word limit typo has been fixed, also. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisMWaters 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Just for the record. As well as the Royal Order tag match, Kelly will be defending her Women's Title. Against an unnamed opponent. ^^ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Well, Zed is officially the best booker ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 I'm lazy. Someone link me to all the other No Gravity matches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 You'd best be selling that neck, bucko. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Above Average 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Now, to promo on why I wasn't at Storm... in Philly of all places. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 You'd best be selling that neck, bucko. A Canadian Destroyer through a table? Yeah, I think I'll sell the neck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Sell the balls, too. ::boot:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toshiaki Koala 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 I'm not quite sure how to say this, but... Kaine quit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 All the better for you to bury him... I can dig up his stats for you if you really need them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 I get Mall Brawl?! Thank you, CC! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toshiaki Koala 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 All the better for you to bury him... I can dig up his stats for you if you really need them. Could you do that for me? I want to send him off with some measure of respect. Thanks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 *predicts that a retired Kaine will have a slightly higher success rate than an active one* So let me get this straight. I'm a lumberjack for a match with a guy I recently beat the shit out of for deserting my stable vs a member of a stable dedicated to destroying my stable, and the other lumberjack is a guy I beat the shit out of for... well I don't know, because I didn't like him I guess. This should be fun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 6, 2005 Kaine's stats should be in your inbox now, Pretzler. Sorry for the delay, but I've been busy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 6, 2005 Anyone with floor plans, hit me up. I've never been in a mall, period, so without floor plans it's going to be a rather vague Mall Brawl from moi. Incredibly vague. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted February 6, 2005 Come on landon, Cambridge must have a shopping centre of sorts, mustn't it? just extrapolate from there, make eveything bigger and more garish. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted February 6, 2005 And throw an orange julius on someone. It's not important what it is, just have them sell it like a demon being splashed with holy water. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hhh6294 0 Report post Posted February 7, 2005 Um... I'm not actiuve. Please take Kaine off of whatever list you guys use to book matches. ...and I personally would have chosen another round of Calvinball over Mall Brawl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2005 If both guys are on the top rope, and say, Manson does a move to Spike, does that count as a top rope move for Manson? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2005 I can't write this show, for reason I can't divulge. I probably can't write or the next one either. Sorry. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2005 oh fuck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2005 If both guys are on the top rope, and say, Manson does a move to Spike, does that count as a top rope move for Manson? Yeah, I'm pretty sure superplexes and moves of that nature count. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2005 Depends on what kind of move it is; if both men are on the top turnbuckle, and Manson hits Spike with a low blow, that doesn't count. As a general rule, in order for the move to count, the deliverer has to leave the top rope, whether it be for a superplex or a dropkick; a Spider Suplex would be the only exception I can think of. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 All of my stuff is sent in. Bastards. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golgo 13 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2005 God, I suck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
