SWF GROUND ZERO CARD!

[chirs3 0]

-=-=-=-

 

The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...

 

SWF GROUND ZERO, JULY 31st, 2005!

(8:00 PM EST; 5:00 PM PST. Check local listings.)[/b]

 

Send everything (promos, marked matches, bar tabs, etc.) to Ace309.

 

Ground Zero is the last stop on the SWF's World Tour, and the first stop on the Road to Genesis!

 

The first half of the show will be coming from The London Arena in London, England - recently closed due to being a financial failure, the SWF has rented and re-opened it for one night only (and sold out in record time), so our European Tour can go out with a bang! Tom Flesher has done his best to secure "Smarkdown-quality" talent, and as a result, the London Card will see Toxxic and Scott Pretzler settle their Best of Five series, as well as an International Championship Defense from Jay Hawke!

 

We then switch over to American shores, where the second half of the show will take place in the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada! The Main Event - Ejiro Fasaki's World Heavyweight Championship defense against Johnny Dangerous!

 

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THE LAS VEGAS CARD

 

LIVE from the Grand Ballroom of the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada

 

Commentary Team: Longdogger Pete (play-by-play), and the classic commentary team of Bobby Riley (heel) and CYCLOOOOOOOOONE COMET (face)!

 

For the benefit of anyone who needs them, some descriptions for our guest announcers:

 

Bobby Riley: Former SWF wrestler. As a commentator, he's your usual "root for the heels" sort of shmuck. Has a particular distaste for his partner's (Comet) antics. May or may not be gay - let the innuendo fly.

 

Cyclone Comet: Former SWF wrestler and resident superhero. Will always back the faces, because faces are good and fight for justice and freedom! Tends to use over the top expressions, and may point out that unlike luchadores, he actually can fly.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Referees: Senior official Eddy Long, Nick Soapdish, John Trudel, Matthew Kivell.

 

Backstage Interviews to be conducted by Ben Hardy.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Las Vegas Main Event - SWF World Heavyweight Championship Match

Ejiro Fasaki © vs. Johnny Dangerous

 

--> Some people think Ejiro snuck his way into Ground Zero's Main Event behind Tom Flesher's back, but let's face it - he's taken down some high-profile opponents to keep his gold. As far as Joseph Peters is concerned, Ejiro has earned his spot at the top.

 

None of those high-profile opponents have been Johnny Dangerous, however. Johnny's been waiting a long time to get another shot at the SWF World Title - with a newfound intensity and a willingness to bend the rules, Johnny may be poised to take the top spot in the SWF for a second time, which would carry him all the way to the Main Event at Genesis VI.

 

Rules: Standard singles match. I want a good clean fight, you two!

Send to: Ace309

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Casino Brawl

Landon Maddix vs. Todd Cortez

 

--> Pffft. Women. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

 

Well, that's not entirely true - Todd Cortez seems to be living with 'em just fine, one in particular, and this makes Landon Maddix none too happy. Martial Law is dead and buried, leaving these former friends tearing at each others throats. Landon's got plans for the future, plans that include taking the World Title, getting back Megan, and breaking a few of his old stablemate's bones - will he make good on his threats, or will Todd Cortez knock him off his pedestal? And what about Megan - will she play a role in this match?

 

Rules: Rules are for sissies. This match starts on the Casino floor and can go anywhere it damn well pleases! Anything goes, and pinfalls count anywhere!

Send to: chirs3

 

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Lady Luck is a Bitch - House Rules Match for the SWF Hardcore Championship

Zyon © vs. Marcus Ward vs. Nick "The Hitlist" Blum

 

--> When Zyon was just a wee nooblet, he shocked SWF fans and employees alike by capturing the Hardcore Title in short order - tonight, we see if our latest batch of new recruits show the same kind of promise! Zyon will defend against Marcus Ward, a man with considerable strength and a mind to match it, and a technical high-flyer in Nick "The Hitlist" Blum!

 

Rules: There will be a slot machine outside the ring, with a cup of quarters on top. At the beginning of the match, Funyon will spin the slots once - but instead of cherries, bells, and sevens, this machine has been customized to display different match stipulations. Whichever stip it lands on, those are the current rules the match will be fought under. At ANY TIME during the match, a competitor may use the slot machine to change the current rules. Nobody knows what stipulations will be inside the machine - this is entirely up to the writers.

 

Send to: janusd

 

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THE LONDON CARD

 

Coming to you LIVE from the London Arena in London, England!

 

Commentary: The Suicide King (heel), Tom Flesher (play-by-play), and Annie Onita (face)! For the benefit of anyone who needs 'em, some descriptions for our guest announcers:

 

Tom Flesher: A wrestling purist, Flesher will tend to favor the more technically-based of the competitors but otherwise call it straight down the middle. He’s a serious guy with little to no sense of humor, but will likely suck up shamelessly to King (who he’ll call “Brian” all night). King, meanwhile, will return the props, as Flesher spent a great deal of time emulating him as a rookie.

 

Ann Onita: Allison Onita’s twin sister, the Eclectic One has a great deal of history with Flesher, starting as early as Flesher’s first SWF match (in which Ann, as Lady Red, turned on Tom, turned face and left The Clan – it was later revealed that Lady Red had been Allison Onita, now best known as Flesher’s lapdog, for all but that match). It appears that Joe Peters brought Ann in to commentate mainly to make Flesher miserable, and she’ll antagonize Flesher at any opportunity. Flesher consistently beat her, but she just gets under his skin and reminding her of that fact won’t shut her up. Ann is a bit unhinged, making her commentary prone to non-sequiturs and general silliness, but she knows her stuff. Expect her to back the face. Oh, yeah... and she's a lesbian.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Ring Announcer: Divefire

 

Referee Pool: Ronald "Red" Herrington, Sexton Hardcastle, Anthony Michael Hall, Scott Ryder

 

Backstage interviews conducted by Someone who's not Ben Hardy.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

London Main Event - Best of Five Final Match - Canadian Deathmatch

Toxxic vs. Scott Pretzler ©

 

--> The Best of Five series stands even at two apiece - it's time for the tiebreaker, Canadian Deathmatch style! Scott Pretzler goes into this match with the not-so-subtle backing of Tom Flesher - is this an added pressure to weigh him down, or an extra edge to help him out? Will he prove once and for all that he is the SWF's hottest commodity, or will Toxxic show the world that he's still got some fight in him?

 

Rules: No countouts, no disqualifications. The first man to score an accumulated 10-count on his opponent wins. You accumulate a count by scoring a pinfall of 3 or more. So you could win getting two 5 counts, four 3 counts, etc.

Send to: TheSuperstar

 

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Wildchild vs. El Luchadore Magnifico III - This time it's personal!

 

--> Oh, Mags. Mags Mags Mags. Tsk tsk tsk.

 

Although, really, I can't argue with the evidence - Magnifico's return could charitably be referred to as lackluster, but ever since he stopped going out of his way to please the fans, things have turned around for him. Could this new attitude be just what Magnifico needs to return to the top?

 

Not if Wildchild has anything to say about! Magnifico's actions, as well as his comments, have been way out of line as of late, and as the target of both, Wildchild's not gonna take it anymore! Tonight is the rubber match - time to see which of these men truly belong at the top!

 

Rules: No Disqualifications!

Send to: Justice

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

SWF International Championship Match - Old School Rules

"The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke © vs. Manson

 

--> Jay Hawke, in a surprising show of decency, has offered to put up his International Title against Manson, after losing to him in a non-title match. But this is Jay Hawke's title, and thus, Jay Hawke's rules, especially stipulated to make sure a clear winner is decided. Can Mansonocity topple the Dean of Professional Wrestling for a second time, or will he just be another notch on the increasingly impressive belt of the International Champion?

 

Rules: Two out of three falls, with a one hour time limit. Three rope-break limit. Throwing an opponent over the top rope results in instant disqualification.

Send to: Ace309

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

JJ Johnson vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

 

--> It shouldn't surprise anyone that Spike Jenkins is pretty high up on Tom Flesher's shit-list. Spike's recently returned from a 30 day suspension, but rumors are circulating that Flesher would like him gone on a somewhat more permanent basis. There's still some bad blood between JJ and Spike (possibly more to be edited in to Smarkdown), so neither man should need much motivation to cripple the other.

 

Rules: Standard singles match.

Send to: chirs3

 

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My apologies to Danny Williams, who I think is the only active writer left off - we just ran out of people to book you against. We're sorry. Your wookie is in the mail.

Edited July 26, 2005 by chirs3

[janusd 0]

Ooh. I get to mark a -fun- match.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

No problem, I tried getting some fueds going it's just nothing seemed to work out for whatever reason.

 

edit-This still fucking sucks!

[jwpeer 0]

My first match and I get the Stipulation Slot Machine. How much more fun can it be!

[chirs3 0]

You just had bad timing is all.

 

And Zyon - I promise you, swear on my life even, that one day you will defend in a regular Hardcore match. Cross my heart, hope to die.

[devo 0]

Yeah, go ahead and make mine and WC's match No DQ. Thanks. =)

 

This is gonna be an awesome show.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Riley and Comet again? Fuck yeah!

[Toxxic 0]

I WANTED RILEY AND COMET! THE ONLY FUCKING TEAM i CAN EVER WRITE!

[chirs3 0]

Oh, I almost forgot!

 

The Official Ground Zero PPV Theme Songs are:

 

London - The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK"

Las Vegas - Reverend Horton Heat's "It's Martini Time"

[Ced 0]

Hey, Danny can always stiff the everloving bejeezus out of me until I cry bloody tears.

 

- Ced: Always up for an ass-whuppin', even if he's always on the wrong end of it.

[the.weej 0]

Man, why didn't I make Raynor a booker during my despotic rule? The mind boggles.

 

Very, very important note that should go without saying, but has to be put down for posterity: Annie is a lesbian. Which is not to say that she hates men or anything, but she was always very candid about it.

 

I wonder if there's going to be an Ebony cameo on this PPV.

 

-Z

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Well, since we're going to the trouble of having two seperate announce teams, what about the ring announcer? Funyon shouldn't be expected to be in London and Vegas, should he?

 

Which brings up another point; if we're going to be all continuity-y, I reckon that it'd be a good idea to have specific referees/backstage interviewers designated for each arena (not necessarily each match), shouldn't we?

 

:: head hurts from so much thinking ::

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Bless Raynor for giving me Toxxic/Pretzler.

[JJ Johnson 0]

DubCee, you know about the FunyonJet™, don't you?

 

It can take him and 8 referee-sized passengers of his choice from London, England to Las Vegas, Nevada in 2 minutes.

[Cuban Linx 0]

If you really want to give Danny a match you could book Danny vs Stryke. I was probably going to return in the next show or two anyway and i'd be able to write for it, it wouldn't be the marquee PPV match someone of Danny's status is deserving of and i'm hardly the most exciting of opponents but hey, it's something. Danny can squash me and get revenge for me beating him for the ICTV title back in the day.

 

Either way, this has to be one of the better looking shows in a long time, there isn't a match on the card that doesn't look appealing.

[janusd 0]

Annie is a lesbian. Which is not to say that she hates men or anything, but she was always very candid about it.

 

I wonder if there's going to be an Ebony cameo on this PPV.

 

-Z

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Don't tempt me. Tempting me is a bad thing. And it leads to things like HAPPYGAYJANUSPROMO.

 

Which is to say, I'll probably not do it. If anyone WANTS to put Ebony over in a promo against Annie, feel free (And run it by me first so I can -laugh-)

[JJ Johnson 0]

Also, if I may add to help the new guys, Cyclone Comet refers to people as "Citizen". Citizen Zyon, Citizen Blum, Citizen Ward, etc.

[Toxxic 0]

J3, you know WAAAAAAAAAAY too much for someone as new as you are. To be fair I do too, but that's because I studied.

 

Yes, I studied the history of an e-fed. Problem?

 

I vote we have Divefire as ring announcer in Britain.

[the.weej 0]

I am totally going to second that motion.

 

-Z

[Ace309 0]

Because someone else was anal enough to notice, I've edited in the referee pools and stuff I had suggested.

[the.weej 0]

Goddamn it, Tom, Kivell is the senior official. He was getting pummeled by n00blets in screening matches back when Angel was getting title shots and the cruiserweight champion wore a giant foam hamburger on their head.

 

I further petition that Nervous Sheep conduct backstage interviews in London, but I bet GOdrea and myself are the only two that remember who Sheep is.

 

-Z

[chirs3 0]

Also, if I may add to help the new guys, Cyclone Comet refers to people as "Citizen". Citizen Zyon, Citizen Blum, Citizen Ward, etc.

 

Good call, JJ. I totally forgot about that.

 

Can anyone here dig up a good Annie-on-commentary match, for reference? I think I've got a few Comet/Riley's I can post, but I never followed the JL as closely as I should have, so I'm not too familiar with her style.

[the.weej 0]

The last JL show is pinned on the JL board, which features the final appearance of the bizarre and brilliant Annie/Judge/Ejiro commentary team.

 

-Z

[King Cucaracha 0]

Good Annie on commentary match?

 

Any of my SJL matches would suffice.

 

*puts cock away*

 

EDIT: Shit, I just realised, I won't even need commentary in my match. Guess I'll have to promo again (*fed groans*) to get in the token Riley is a h0m0 jokes.

Edited July 26, 2005 by King Cucaracha

[devo 0]

I further petition that Nervous Sheep conduct backstage interviews in London, but I bet GOdrea and myself are the only two that remember who Sheep is.

 

-Z

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yo.

 

And I second the petition.

[Toxxic 0]

Can I add Brian Warner to the England pool? He's my referee of choice these days.

[TheBostonStrangler 0]

Shut up, Toxxic. You're going to use Alex Zenon as the referee, and you're going to put him over like nothing else.

[muzz 0]

I further petition that Nervous Sheep conduct backstage interviews in London, but I bet GOdrea and myself are the only two that remember who Sheep is.

 

-Z

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yo.

 

And I second the petition.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yo.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

COMET NEVER FUCKING USED 'CITIZEN' IN PROMOS OR MATCHES. YOU FUCKERS! I DON'T KNOW WHO DECIDED TO SADDLE HIM WITH THAT, BUT HE NEVER SAID IT DURING HIS STINT AS A WRITER. He did have a Pepsi Max-imorphing Vending Machine Car, though.

 

Also, Divey as ring announcer? Jayson Grant all the way.

 

Sheep's a good choice for interviews, though, if I'm not mistaken, Ben is/was originally from somewhere in Englandia.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Whoa, this is serious business.