The Czech Republic

When Benjamin watches the tape at the office, it's a different take of the scene from the one we see the first time.

Dig these hockey references all over the place! Wayne Campbell = Wayne Gretzky + Clarence Campbell Officer Koharski = Don Koharski, famous NHL referee Stan Mikita's Donuts = Tim Horton's They play street hockey in Blackhawks uniforms later on.

I thought Power Rangers ended in like 1996.

It's a rare "SNL Movie That Doesn't Suck," you gotta give 'em that. How does it work? Well, as you can see, it sucks, and it cuts. It certainly does suck.

I think this is my 78th time. I first saw it in 1st grade (1992-93). WAAAAY over my head. I can quote the entire movie if I try.

I thought that was an example of the refs giving the Lakers all the calls, like every great Lakers comeback in the recent dynasty.

ESPN wouldn't do it, but I'd put Owen Hart on the list.

So you sympathize with a broken arm, and not death. Uh huh.

Trish is one of the best on Raw in delivering Gewirtz's corny, sexual innuendo laced lines. So is Christian, Jericho and Edge used to be. Obviously Gewirtz loves Trish as she has been getting a ton of backstage vignettes lately. "Hey, urm, uh, Trish...I, uh, I can make you a star...you want another, uh, interview, heh? Maybe after the show we can, uh, you know, go back to my room, and, uh, read some, ah, comic books."

That's every year. I still think the Cubs hold on in the wild card because the Astros will cool off and there's no fucking way the Giants fall ass-backwards into the playoffs again. But the World Series probably won't be Cardinals-Yankees.

Hejduk and Blake are good for some assorted goals too. Tanguay and Hinote as well, but you're right, Joe Sakic is about a 95% sure thing, Peter Forsberg 98%. I the Avs on video games...

aw fuck Manson, the Smiths rule.

PRETTY MUCH unheard of????? Only in NCAA Basketball???? Strewth, I would have expected that to be pretty much unprecedented in any form of upper-level sports. He also choked some kid (Does Bobby Knight have to choke a bitch?) and said something stupid about how if a woman gets raped, she should make the most of it and lie back and enjoy it or something. Of course, because he's such a fucking nut, it's only fitting that he's one of the best college basketball coaches in history, not a John Wooden or Mike Kyrgyzstanalashnikerfluffski, but certainly a great coach by all means. Even his players knew this when caught mid-strangle.

I'm just glad Bill Walton hasn't appeared in my dreams wearing nothing but a turban, asking me to smoke up with him...yet

My senior year was a bit of a letdown. I had all my fun junior year.

Um...YES?

Well Chicago has money, but alienated its fanbase. Edmonton has no money, but an avid fanbase. Pittsburgh has neither money nor fanbase, but dammit, they're the Pittsburgh Penguins, and can't just cease to exist. The only solution is to blast Gary Bettman into space.

Okay, enough with the Eugene hate. He's not going anywhere because he's still well-liked, by and large. He can still be entertaining, if confined to the midcard. All they have to do is just play up the savant element more this time around. He should not come back as a member of Evolution. He should not wear a mask. He should not cut his hair, shave, and say it was an act to get to the majors. He should not dress up as Repo Man. We're no longer in an age where a guy can be Tex The Wrangler, change his hairstyle, tights, music, and get a tan, and become Cal The Surfer. Nick Dinsmore is Eugene. End of story.

It's funny, and then I remember that Bettman's a Stern disciple and I cry... But that's why we love hockey! It's the sport that's so different from everything else! It wasn't until about 10 years ago that they had geographically named divisions and conferences...I say bring back the great "black-and-blue" Norris Division of St. Louis, Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, and wait for it...Toronto. WTF? But the difference between Stern and Bettman is that basketball lends itself to the style and glitz that Stern worked at introducing to the once-fourth league, and he did a damn fine job with it, whereas Bettman is just half-assedly mimicking Stern in a sport to which those tactics cannot apply. Hockey is just too much of its own little world, I guess. As an epilogue to the old men not knowing about the new teams, maybe at the end, have the Kool-Aid Man burst through a wall wearing a Nashville Predators sweater (mustard-colored alternate, natch), say "OH YEAH!" (because that's what Kool-Aid Men say at all times), and then drive a Lamborghini into a wall, post the rules to hockey above a urinal, and lose in the Stanley Cup Finals twice in a row. That should cover the essence of everything since 1996.

http://picard.ytmnd.com/

Wisconsin has fucking slow drivers. If you go 65 on the Tri-State Tollway like the good lawful signage requires...you DIE.

I had an idea of my own for an ad campaign that the NHL can use when they relaunch. But be warned, to give you an idea of how the commercial would go, I'm about to use the much-maligned medium of the message board: JPEG Theater. Also, anyone who tries to tie Randy Orton saying the S-word into this will have their genitals crushed by my hired goons. So without further ado: Good afternoon, gentlemen, and welcome to another season of NHL hockey. Here's a list of the teams that will be competing in the league this year. I've never heard of half of these teams, and the ones I do know haven't won a Stanley Cup in years. Some of those teams never won a Stanley Cup. This team here just declared bankruptcy. Cross it off, then. The NHL: See, guys? We ARE a major league!

Conventional cartographers are wrong: Oakland is NOT a part of California, but rather lies at the confluence of Ohio, western Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Texas. I don't get it either.

My Superstar Line story is that I won some prizes on the trivia game. When they asked who and where to send it to, I said my name was "Vince McMahon." They sent them to "Liz Mamann."

Nothing beats 1992 for sheer unpredictability. Of course I didn't start watching until 1996 so I knew going in, but retroactively, who's to say the Warlord couldn't have won the vacant title?