Who has the best name in sports?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

This might be an odd topic, but I have a fascination with names, since I've got an overtly strange handle. I think there's more to a name than just the word itself. Maybe not in like a numerological sense, though that raises other questions for those interested in the various forms of divination, I guess...anyway.

 

I mean more psychologically speaking.

 

For instance, would Mike Tyson be Mike Tyson if he were christened Wilbur St. James? I think you get my drift. It'd help to post a small photo or give a description explaining your choices, since obviously they're totally arbitrary.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

There was a guy who used to play in the Premier League that had the last name Windass.

[C Dubya 04 0]

Without a doubt, Dick Trickle is the best name ever.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Rollie Fingers

 

Perfect name for that guy. First of all, he was a pitcher, so Fingers is appropriate, and Rollie sort of implies a ball rolling off his fingers. Awesome name. Next:

 

 

Dick Butkus

 

Only the meanest son of a bitch to put on pads could've pulled this name off, and he was exactly that. Were some software designer to be named Dick Butkus, he might as well kiss his fragmentary hypothetical social life good bye...but a linebacker with a perpetual flat-top that once said he doesn't go out there to tackle people, or to even hurt them, he goes out there trying to kill them..he can do it.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Dick Trickle is really good, too. That one doesn't need an explanation.

[Mik 0]

Earthwind Moreland.

[Crimson Platypus 0]

Randall Gay

[Brett Favre 0]

Santana Moss. Greatest name ever. It may have nothing to do with the player, or have any significant sense to it, but it's just a very good name.

[MARTYEWR 0]

Legendary half back for the Chicago Bears: Bronco Nagurski.

[Black Lushus 0]

Plaxico Burress

[UZI Suicide 0]

Former Seton Hall Basketball player - Ty Shine.

 

Also God Shammgod.

[bob_barron 0]

College basketball player- Scientific Mapp

[C Dubya 04 0]

I think that he was on Texas football for a couple of years, the immortal B.J. Johnson.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I always liked Yo Murphy and that hockey player with the last name Satan...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I've been after that Satan guy's jersey or whatever the hell for so long..I don't even watch hockey. That's the power in a good name.

 

Next Example:

 

 

Duffy Waldorf

 

I think duff is golf-related somehow, and it's something bad, sounds like. Having that as your name is great, and Waldorf sounds like some rich asshole country club. Perfect golfer name that always gets mentioned on broadcasts at some point. I'm positive it's because he's Duffy Waldorf.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Fuzzy Zoeller

 

Duffy Waldorf's arch-nemesis. It gets pretty lonesome out there on the links, but it's a good thing golf's big enough to have two guys with awesome names.

[DerangedHermit 0]

I think that he was on Texas football for a couple of years, the immortal B.J. Johnson.

If you're going by that, then you must include Jimmy Johnson.

 

Other cool names:

Coco Crisp

Milton Bradley

Santana Moss

Bucky Jacobsen (what a baseball name)

Timo Perez

Miroslav Satan

Quinton McCracken

Tad Golden

God Shammgod

Dusty Baker

[Special K 0]

Peerless Price - Awesome arrogant name.

Cassius Clay just sounds like a badass. Lennox Lewis is a pretty pimp name, too.

Pujols - Huh huh huh

Priest Holmes is a very cool name.

I always thought Joe DiMaggio sounded classy.

[Fökai 0]

The first pick in next year's NFL Draft - D'Brickashaw Ferguson.

 

God Shammgod was the first name that came to mind, though.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I always thought Joe DiMaggio sounded classy.

I always thought it sounded more like a random New York Italian hawking pizza slices for $1.50.

[Guest Vitamin X]

....too soon?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

 

Rocky Graziano

 

Here's a guy that probably always got called champ, which is a shame because his name is Rocky fuckin' Graziano. Graziano sounds cooler than Marciano.

 

In the same vein:

 

 

Knute Rockne

 

"Rock" in any sports name is a great thing to have. It implies strength and solidity.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Speedy Claxton. Yes sir.

 

Vladimir Konstantinov. Perfect Russian name and long names look really cool when they're in the arched style on uniforms, like the Detroit Red Wings and Atlanta Braves do.

 

Manu Ginobili. Manu: The Hands Of Fate. Why has no Sportscenter anchor said that for a Ginobili highlight yet? GEEZ. IDIOTS.

 

I second Miroslav Satan. ShuhTAN.

 

Chipper Jones. It's fun to say?

 

Though not an athlete, longtime Cubs announcer Jack Brickhouse.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Pele', mainly because it's a one word name and everyone will know who the fuck you're talking about by just mentioning it. No one other individual in the history of soccer, past, present, and future, could possibly have this name.

[Crimson Platypus 0]

Miroslav Satan = winner. He's the Prince of Darkness folks, can't beat that.

[Dogbert 0]

One of these years, Miroslav Satan will be traded to the New Jersey Devils, and hilarity will ensue.

 

On-topic: Winnipeg Blue Bombers' offensive lineman Charles Assmann.

[2GOLD 0]

Former Chicago Cubs center fielder TUFFY RHODES!

 

And I also vote for Earthwind Moreland and God Shammgod

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

There was a Browns running back called Ben Gay a few years ago.

[Dr. Tom 0]

What about retired b-baller World B. Free? It's pretentious as hell, but come on.

[razazteca 0]

There was a Browns running back called Ben Gay a few years ago.

Nota Bengay III is a pro golfer.

 

What about retired b-baller World B. Free? It's pretentious as hell, but come on.

Tree Rollings