Cookie - Monster = Goodbye childhood memories...

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Is nothing sacred anymore?...

 

Maybe it's just me, but it feels like 21st century North America is embracing the touchy-feely sensitivity of a new hippie era, with none of the free sex or plentiful drugs or general open-mindedness. Or free sex. Did I mention the drugs?

 

I refer, of course, to Sesame Street's decision to have Cookie Monster become more health-conscious in the new season of the show. He'll eat fewer cookies, and healthier cookies, while learning that moderation is key. Apparently pencils, plates and dead cats are still on the menu, but it's time to cut down on the sugar and carbs...

[Slayer 0]

Here's a good comic on the issue

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

*dies a little inside*

[Si82 0]

This is just plain wrong.

 

Why even bother with Cookie Monster if he isn't going to throw excessive amounts of cookies into his mouth.

 

I'm sure he'll be nibbling on low-carb cookies though.

[Guest Fook]

Stupid stupid stupid!

 

What's next? Anger therapy for Oscar so he's not so grouchy all the time?

[Guest BDC]

Cookie Monster is bulemic.

[Cuban Linx 0]

Why don't they just make him the Veggie Monster and completely ruin him. Those hippies have gone too far this time.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Fuck this shit. We have fat kids because of Cookie Monster? Maybe parents need to stop feeding their kids a bunch of crap and bribing them with snacks. Jesus Christ.

[2GOLD 0]

Next they make Big Bird enter rehab and finally get rid of Snuffy. If Bird would get off the drugs, the big elephant would be gone.

[Slayer 0]

The stupid/pussy kids of yesterday have become the stupid/pussy parents of today

 

What happens when their ultra-fucking-stupid/pussy kids grow up?

[Ravenbomb 0]

NOOOOOOOOOO! Dear God, no!

[The Czech Republic 0]

Today I took one of those online personality quizzes to find out which Sesame Street character I am, and came to a startling conclusion: Those online personality quiz things suck. Seriously, they're retardedly transparent. Gee, I wonder which character I'll end up as if I say I enjoy dribbling cookie crumbs everywhere and speaking like I have a learning disability? Or that my hobbies are collecting bottle caps and bitching at my zeppelin-headed live-in lover?

 

Actually, the result really was startling. "Your Zoe!" said the quiz when I was done. What do you mean, my Zoe? My Zoe what? I've never had a Zoe, though I would gladly have a Zooey, particularly the one of the Deschanel variety.

 

Or did this quiz themed around a show that teaches people to read actually mean to say, "YOU'RE Zoe?" OK then, but who or what is Zoe? Admittedly, I haven't watched Sesame Street regularly in 20-odd years, but I've never heard of ...

 

"Your (sic) Elmo's best friend and you have the ability to speak in two different languages!" the result goes on to declare. The HELL? I'd rather be the guy who cleans up after Mr. Snuffleupagus than Elmo's best friend! I'd rather be Mr. Hooper, and he's old! And also dead! And what languages does Zoe speak exactly? English, and fluent Annoying?

 

Yes, fine, I can recognize a case of nostalgic sour grapes. I've outgrown Sesame Street, and the show has moved on and changed without me, keeping up with the times and morphing into something I barely recognize.

 

Way back in my day, for instance, there would be a huge, scary clap of thunder and lightning whenever the Count finished counting something. Then he'd grab the nearest kid, sink his teeth into the child's neck and rip out the carotid artery, gulping down the gushing crimson torrent like a jackal finding a water hole in the desert.

Who is this lad. I like the cut of his jib.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

There is some kind of built-in guilt that all hippies share as a characteristic. They feel guilty that we Americans have all the food we want. They say we are getting fat. To be honest, I really don't see a disproportionate amount of fat people compared to thin people. Why eat low carb and shit when you can die in a car accident the next day?

 

Didn't they come up with a new muppet who was suffering from AIDS?

[JHawk 0]

Stupid stupid stupid!

 

What's next? Anger therapy for Oscar so he's not so grouchy all the time?

Actually, a co-worker was telling me that Oscar isn't a grouch anymore and hasn't been for years.

 

Not that I cared once everybody else was able to see Snuffy.

[CanadianChick 0]

This is awful. He is (uh, I mean was!) my favorite SS character. That comic rings true though. Stupid parents that simply just can't be bothered with raising their own childern. Fuck them. Stop blaming everything on the media and take some god damn responsibility.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Who is this lad. I like the cut of his jib.

If memory serves, some guy north of the border (click on the link to find out what publication/etc. he writes for) -- the whole article was cute, but instead of pasting the whole thing, I just did the Cookie Monster part...

[The Czech Republic 0]

childern.

This is a funny typo, because some people say it that way and know they're saying it wrong. Not saying that you do. People do.

[AlaskanHero 0]

They're taking away Cookie Monster's cookies now. Oscar's not a grouch now. Are Bert and Ernie no longer an ambigously gay couple? Or did they come out of the closet yet?

 

It looks like the Sesame Street I knew is long gone. A pity. However as long as they leave Reading Rainbow alone, I won't have to fuck someone up.

[CanadianChick 0]

childern.

This is a funny typo, because some people say it that way and know they're saying it wrong. Not saying that you do. People do.

The funny thing is that I edited that post for another spelling mistake I made, but missed that one. Whoops.

[Nighthawk 0]

I'll go against the grain and say it's fine. SS is an educational show, not primarily an entertainment show. They should set good examples. Oscar was an antiexample, because they gave him shit about being a grouch. Cookie Monster being a "hero" character, I don't see a problem with tweaking him a bit, although it would have been best not to have a character with an eating disorder in the first place.

If you want parents to counteract what SS tells their children, there's no reason for SS to exist.

[Ted the Poster 0]

They should have him get diabetes from all that sugar, and every week they can have a segment where kids guess where on CM's ass the insulin is getting injected. The number of that day can be his current blood/sugar level.

 

"Today's number is... 186! Ooh, Cookie Monster need to go to hospital!"

 

Idiots. They should have Cookie Monster start eating low-fat cookies so he can still eat the same amount.

[Guest Flyboy]

"Chocolate chips don't do that to people..."

[Slayer 0]

I'll go against the grain

Surprise

[The Czech Republic 0]

I never had a cookie-eating problem because of the Cookie Monster, because I knew better than to emulate a giant blue Muppet.

[Ted the Poster 0]

A black ventriliquist dummy on the other hand...

[Nighthawk 0]

I'll go against the grain

Surprise

That's what happens when you're smarter than everyone else.

[Slayer 0]

Here's a good comic on the issue

And the author is already getting flak for it

[Chuck Woolery 0]

They should have him get diabetes from all that sugar, and every week they can have a segment where kids guess where on CM's ass the insulin is getting injected. The number of that day can be his current blood/sugar level.

 

"Today's number is... 186! Ooh, Cookie Monster need to go to hospital!"

With all due respect, a blood sugar of 186 shouldn't send you to the hospital. Please get your facts straight before failing to be funny.

[AndrewTS 0]

They should have him get diabetes from all that sugar, and every week they can have a segment where kids guess where on CM's ass the insulin is getting injected. The number of that day can be his current blood/sugar level.

 

"Today's number is... 186! Ooh, Cookie Monster need to go to hospital!"

With all due respect, a blood sugar of 186 shouldn't send you to the hospital. Please get your facts straight before failing to be funny.

If it did my dad would be dead about 50 times by now.

 

Considering the age range that will be watching the show--and let's face it, kids shouldn't even be watching TV until they're 3-4 years old anyway, I can kinda see the point. This isn't a Saturday morning cartoon for ages 8-12 being backed up by a massive ad compaign for Coooookie Crisp. It's an educational show on public TV.

 

If they turn him into the Tofu Monster, then we have a problem.

 

Besides, hardly any lessons from these shows actually stick with kids, so better a good message goes through one ear and out the other, than a bad one sticking. Less chance of an idiot trying to sue public broadcasting and rolling their 200 pound 3 year old into a courtroom for it.

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

The pussification of children's television is reaching new highs.